A/N: Thanks so much to those who keep on reviewing. Glad you got a kick out of Lane's GQ comment about Jess - that was totally based on the fact that Milo was featured in that magazine and there were some very nice pictures :) As I said on the latest update on my Hart of Dixie fic, I'm not sure what's happening, but chapters I know I've posted aren't showing up anywhere but in my account, and/or they're disappearing and reappearing. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about it, other than keep on updating weekly and hope that, at some point, everybody who wants to read will be able to? *shrugs*

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 7

"Hey, how are you doing?"

Noah barely glanced at her, just concentrated on the sandwich he was putting together for himself. It was the first time he had come out of his room for more than a bathroom break all day, but Rory wasn't able to really be mad at him for that. After all, it was the weekend and he was grounded. Where else would he be but in his Fortress of Solitude, hopefully studying, probably doom-scrolling the internet? Perhaps she should have taken his phone from him, or at least blocked his internet access, but that seemed too mercenary somehow. She feared cutting him off from everything. He wasn't exactly the world's most social kid as it was, and talking to people was probably what he needed most. Rory just wished he would talk to her as much as he used to.

"I'm fine," he muttered, moving to the refrigerator to retrieve whatever else he wanted for his sandwich.

Grabbing the mayo, he pulled the lid off the jar, took a sniff and peered inside, before nudging the door to the fridge closed and returning to his food assembly. Apparently, he wasn't going to elaborate on how he was or how he was feeling, not unless Rory poked at him.

"It never used to be like this," she said aloud. "We used to talk, all the time."

The slamming of the drawer from which Noah just retrieved some other utensil made it clear he wasn't happy about what he was hearing.

"What?" Rory asked crossly. "I'm not supposed to care that you won't communicate with me anymore? I shouldn't be concerned that my teenage son is staying in his room for hours in complete silence, or running off to a whole other state without telling me, or-"

"Once!" he told her, turning around fast and looking as upset as he was angry. "I went to New York one time, for all the good it did, and when I got back, you grounded me. So, what do you expect me to do but sit in my room all day? You won't let me go anywhere."

"You have the whole house," she reminded him. "Your bedroom is not a prison cell, and you can stop yelling right now, if you don't want your grounding to be twice as long," she told him firmly, the way only a parent of so many years standing could.

Noah glared for a second longer, then turned back to his sandwich.

It wasn't helping. Rory heaved a tired sigh, knowing that the both of them just getting mad at each other, over and over, wasn't going to change anything. Noah needed understanding, she was well aware, but honestly, it was what she needed to.

"Noah, honey, I don't... Look, I do understand what you're going through. I mean, as much as anybody can ever understand another person's inner feelings, but I'm trying. I really am trying," she insisted, moving a little closer, reaching a hand out to his shoulder.

She half-expected him to shrug her off, but when her fingers finally made contact, he seemed to deflate under her touch, rather than flinch away. He hung his head over his snack and didn't move at all for a few seconds. Rory almost thought she would see tears when he finally looked at her, but there were none. Not that he exactly looked happy or anything.

"At least you know your dad," he said, his tone somewhat bitter but not really nasty or vicious at all. "I get that Grandpa Chris hasn't always been the greatest, that he never was around all that much. He's really good at spending money and kind of lousy at spending time, but... but at least you know him."

He was so earnest, so desperate apparently. Rory hated to see that look in his eyes, knowing she had to fix it somehow, but uncertain on how best to try. She could call Logan, she probably should, but she dreaded that conversation, for so very many reasons. In the meantime, she just wanted to understand, to sympathise, to help Noah to know that none of this was his fault. That Logan not caring like he should was on him, not on the son he hadn't been around to visit, never mind raise, for more than a decade.

"Noah, honey, you have to know, you are the best. Really, you are. You are so smart and good and decent and everything a parent could want in a kid. And yes, I know you're not a kid anymore, but you'll always be my son, and I will always love you and be proud of you. I wish I knew why your father doesn't feel the same. I know he would absolutely love you if he knew you, because how could he not?"

"But he doesn't." Noah shook his head sadly, forcing an awkward smile. "He doesn't know me and he doesn't love me and... and I just wanna know why. That's the part I can't figure out. Just why?"

"I'm sorry that I don't have that answer for you," Rory told him sadly, trying so hard to keep the shake out of her voice, as well as the tears from falling, but she just couldn't do it, especially when Noah suddenly threw his arms around her and held on so tight.

She hugged him close, rubbing his back, feeling that even though he was an inch taller than her already, he might as well be the little boy she recalled from more than ten years before, in that moment. Just like she said, he would always be her son, her little boy who she would want to protect from the bad parts of the world, for as long as she lived.

It wasn't feasible, obviously. There were things that were out of her control, and Logan was a major player on that list. God, she would love to just get a hold of him and shake some sense into him. She just might, sometime soon.

"I'm sorry," Noah said into her shoulder.

Rory made him look at her, then kissed his cheek fondly. "Don't ever be sorry for feeling the way you do. It's okay to be sad or angry, just the same as it's okay to be happy."

"I know." He nodded in understanding. "I meant for before, for the yelling, and... and also for running off the way I did," he told her, sniffing hard. "I know I said it already, but I wasn't... I know it's not your fault, Mom. You didn't make him the way he is," he said of Logan.

Rory shook her head. "I didn't, but I chose to be with him. Not that I regret it, not for a second. If I had my life over again, I would do everything exactly the same, if it meant I got you," she promised him with a smile. "I just wish... For your sake, I wish Logan was the father you deserved."

"Not everybody is cut out to be a dad. That's what Grandpa Luke says. The craziest part is, I'm pretty sure he was absolutely born to be a dad, and he was barely allowed to raise the only kid he ever had, right?"

"Right." Rory nodded once. "But you know, your grandpa proved himself, long before your Aunt April showed up. He was everything I needed in a dad, and he helped Jess so much when..." she trailed off, the moment Noah looked away, and heaved a sigh. "What? Why do you seem to hate Jess so much? He's not a bad guy, and he did you a huge favour, taking care of you in New York and bringing you back here."

"I know that," Noah grumbled, pulling out of her grasp then, reaching for the sandwich that waited for him on the counter still. "It's just weird is all."

Before Rory could ask what he meant by that, he told her anyway.

"Knowing you guys dated. I mean, you did, right? I know you never answered when I asked you, but that was a bigger tell than you actually saying anything. Besides, I've seen the way he looks at you."

"The way he looks at me?" Rory shook her head. "That's not... Jess is not..."

"Mom, seriously." Noah rolled his eyes, sandwich in his hands as he moved by her. "Don't even try. I'm fourteen, I'm not blind, and like you said, I'm also pretty smart. Plus, I've been subjected to way more '90s and '00s rom-coms than a guy ever should. I've seen that look. Either you two dated or he absolutely wanted to, and like I said, you never answered my question when I asked. That's all the evidence I need."

He shrugged his shoulders, argument made, case rested, then headed back towards the stairs, presumably to his room to hide out for a few more hours. Rory watched him go without saying a word, though her mouth hung open long after he was gone from her sight. Maybe her son was even smarter than she could ever have realised. Apparently, she was also a little clueless when it came to Jess' potential feelings for her. After all, that was Noah and Lane that had mentioned it now.

"That's ridiculous," Rory muttered, shaking her head as she went back to the living room and the work she had left abandoned on the coffee table. "Jess doesn't still..." she trailed off, her mind reeling at the very idea, and then, a smile curving her lips that she had no control over at all.

He had to be an idiot. Jess knew the smart choice would probably be to leave town without a word, the way he had so many times before. It wasn't a terrible idea, not at this point. Except that it was, because he knew that, given how things stood, nobody would ever forgive him this go around.

As a teen, he had a certain amount of excuses for his reckless behaviour, and thankfully, he had been forgiven for most of his rebellious acts and stupid decisions. Things were very different now. As a more reasonably well-adjusted adult, he was expected to act accordingly. That meant talking to people, sharing plans, giving those he cared about the chance to say goodbye before he skipped town.

When Rory asked if he would be around for a couple of days, Jess had agreed. It was the weekend and he had nowhere he had to be, in any case, so he knew it couldn't hurt, not with regards to work or anything. Of course, being back in Stars Hollow, forced to spend time with his mother, forced also to confront feelings for Rory that had never, could never fully die, those things were tougher to deal with.

"Pull it together, man," he told himself, as he approached the front door, quickly knocking before he could change his mind.

Turning away while he waited, Jess cast an eye over the perfectly tidy, quaint little street, the same as most others in Stars Hollow. Never really changed, never really needed to, and nobody ever minded. That ought to be annoying, stupid even. Jess wasn't sure when he had started to believe it was almost nice.

Physically shaking off the very idea, he turned back around just in time for the door to open, only it wasn't Rory on the other side.

"Huh."

"Mom's not here," Noah said flatly. "And I'm grounded until I'm thirty - at least, that's what she said when she was still super mad - so I don't think I'm really supposed to have company..."

"No, it's fine," Jess assured him, waving away his concerns with a quick gesture of his hand. "I can come back later or something. Sorry to bother you."

He quickly moved to go, knowing that there was no more good he could do there. Noah didn't like him. He had no reason to, but no real reason not to either, as far as Jess knew. Honestly, he didn't like to ask.

Two of three steps down from the porch to the pathway, he heard Noah speak again and froze in his tracks as a result.

"Hey, Jess? I, uh... well, thanks for before. You know, bringing me home and everything. I guess you didn't have to, but you did, so thanks."

That came as a surprise, but Jess tried not to let it show on his face as he turned around to look at the kid again. Noah had an awful lot of Rory in him, the blue eyes, the dark hair, something in the nose and mouth too. At the same time, when he put on the sullen pout, or dared to smirk at all, Jess saw something he didn't like in the kid's features. Parts that he was sure must have come from Logan's DNA. Right now, he wasn't exactly smiling or anything, but thankfully, the neutral expression was more Gilmore than Huntzberger.

"I did what anybody would do," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "but either way, you're welcome."

"Not that you did it for me, right?" Noah countered, something sparking in his eyes that made Jess' own gaze narrow. "Come on, I know what I see. You and my mom, you weren't always just friends, were you?"

Rory hadn't told him. He suspected or overheard something somewhere maybe, but Jess knew immediately that Rory had told her son nothing of her dating history, at least, not the part that contained Jess. He was wary of how he answered the kid. Wary because he would never want to do anything to make Rory mad at him, even now. Wary because that little hint of the blond dick from Yale was edging into Noah's expression, causing some old urge to punch first and ask questions later to squirm in Jess' stomach.

"Me and your mom go back a long way. I know you know that," he said after a moment's pause. "What relationship we did or didn't have over all that time, that's not your business."

"She's my mom."

"But I'm not your dad, or your best bud, or anybody else that might owe you an explanation about anything," Jess told him sharply, trying to bring his tone back to something a little more even when he saw Noah flinch. "I'm sorry, but it's just not a conversation I'm prepared to have with you. It's not my place. Now, if you need somebody to vent to about absent fathers, I have plenty of experience in that area, and I'm a pretty good listener these days."

That seemed to take Noah by surprise, though whether it was hearing that Jess had suffered in a similar way to him with a dad that wasn't around, or the fact he was offering to play confidante that had him confused was anyone's guess.

"I thought you said you were staying with your dad in California before."

Jess smirked. The kid has some memory, and apparently, he was listening a whole lot more than he seemed to be, back in the apartment in New York.

"I was, but until I was eighteen, I never laid eyes on the guy. He ran out the day I was born and didn't show up again for almost two decades. So, like I said, I know something about absent fathers. I know it's not exactly the same as you and your dad, but still..."

"It's not so different." Noah shook his head, before going right back to eyeing Jess with real suspicion for a minute more. "You want to come inside for a while, you know, until my mom gets home?"

Jess bit down a smirk and nodded once. "Sure," he said, coming back up the porch steps and following Rory's son into the house.

He only hoped that whatever came next, it didn't end with him being the bad guy instead of Logan. It would require him to tread carefully, but Jess didn't hate that Noah was at least willing to talk to him now. He certainly needed somebody to vent to, and sometimes, the only thing better than a friend or family member was a complete stranger.

To Be Continued...