AUTHORS NOTES:WARNINGS: There is talk of forms of past child abuse and past drug use. There is talk about male on male sex. There is no "LEMONS" OR "SLASH" in the chapter but there is talk of it. Happy reading!

Chapter#5

Mia had returned home from her class, she listened to both Dom and Vince repeat what Hector had told them. It was easier than Vince thought to remember the instructions when it was such an important matter. Both men had taken turns talking, each following the next line or filling in something the other forgot. Mia had looked troubled when they told her Hector's grandfather didn't want her using the Buprenorphine. She had nodded her head and placed the medication in a hiding spot where Brian couldn't track it down on the off chance, he realized it was in the house once they cut him off from the Dilaudid. Vince wasn't to worried about him moving to find any drugs currently. The guy looked miserable, his fever had spiked in the last few hours and he kept mumbling and twisting in his sleep from discomfort. Brian had only cracked his eyes open once since the three had entered the room, he had glared feebly towards Dom before his eyes had slid closed again. Both Mia and Vince had shot the bigger man their glares when it looked like he wanted to say something to Brian. While Brian rested, not peacefully Vince might add Mia took it upon herself to hook up the IV antibiotics and fluids. The sick man was already sweating so much Vince and Dom had held the guy up while Mia changed the sheets. Mia had cringed when they changed Brian's sweaty clothes, like everything else hearing about the scars and actually seeing them was an awful reminder what a bright smile could hide. And hide it Brian did, because looking back on it all the occasions Brian had been smiling brightly no one would look his way and think past child abuse. When Jesse had first came to their family the kid had flinched when someone touched him and cringed when loud noises startled him. He was the poster child for what someone would picture from past trauma. Brian hadn't been that, he had suffered more then Jesse, more then anyone Vince had ever encountered and no one had been the wiser

"I need to go start dinner soon" Mia said after she double checks to make sure the IV lines didn't get twisted or tangled "if he wakes up by any chance see if you can get him to drink some water?" Vince dropped down into a chair they had taken from the living room

"Sure Mia" Vince said. Once last check from her and she was gone.

Vince sat back and closed his eyes; he had been expecting a fight when Brian had woken up sure. But he hadn't expected it to turn into Brian barfing his guts up and passing out. It had taken Vince and hour and a half to scrub and clean the vomit out of the carpet, he didn't mind really but he was glad it smelled better in here again. The scent his puke had contained was nothing but alcohol. It had made cleaning up the mess easy since it didn't seem like the guy had eaten in days, but the pungent odor of stomach acid filled tequila puke had even Vince gagging. He wasn't known for having a weak stomach either

"I just want to be left alone and your family decides to pump me full of meds instead" Brain said.

Vince's head snaps up at the raspy sound of Brian's voice, the blonde was staring down at the IVs in the tops of his hand. Glaring at the things like he wanted to pull them out

"We want you to get better" Vince said.

He seems Brian's fingers twitch at that and barely looks up in time to see the look of disgust on the ex-cop's face

"What the fuck for?" Brian hums out.

He turns his head to look at Vince those blue eyes bright with fever but they lacked the life they once had in them

"So we can show you that you are a part of this family" Vince said.

It was probably the wrong thing to say at the time, but Vince wasn't always good with words or keeping his thoughts to himself

"A few months back everyone hated my fucking guts, what the hell has changed since then?" Brian asked. Brian's voice was hallow again, dead, quite.

Vince found himself missing the low musical timber his voice had once been. When he hadn't been sick, beat to shit and all around not taking care of himself

"We realized our own mistakes, Brian" Vince said. Brian huffed an almost broken laugh

"Little to late for that" Brian said.

Those words grip Vince by the heart and squeezes. That wasn't what he wanted to hear, not by a long shot. Those words sound like a goodbye, and end to something the Toretto team had started and ruined

"It's never to late for you to forgive us Bri" Vince said.

Brian blinks multiple times, at first Vince thinks the kid is trying to stay awake, but then the older male see's the tears. Brian looks towards the ceiling and brushes away the trails of wetness of his burning cheeks

"I'm not mad at anyone Vince, what right do I have to be angry?" Brian asked.

The question confuses Vince so much he's silent for several minutes. What the hell did Brian mean what right did he have?

"You have more of a right to be pissed then we ever did Bri" Vince said.

Brian stiffens at Vince's words a trait the dark headed man was starting to hate. Everything anyone seemed to say set the guy on edge, made him tense up like he was waiting for blows to be thrown

"I lied" Brian whispers "I wormed my way into your family to tear it apart, I planted myself into the thick of your life, Dom's life everyone's with the intentions to send you to jail"

Vince sighs, he should had guessed Brian felt guilt over his role in the almost down fall of their family. He was just that type of guy, shouldered to much, hid more and in the end if his past was anything to go by was always the one left to suffer for others actions

"It was your job" Vince said.

As much as Vince hated to admit it, it had been Brian's job to take them in. He had been a cop and yes, he had lied but he never truly hurt this family. He had saved them instead and that was more then any other cop would have done

"You fucking hate cops" Brian hisses.

The tears were still falling and Vince hated to see them but if the kid needed to cry Vince wasn't going to fault him for that

"I don't hate you" Vince said.

Brian had this sudden deer in headlights look, like Vince had just mowed his ass down with his car. Brian gives a bitter laugh

"Since when?" Brian asked

"Probably always, my hate was more along the lines of jealousy" Vince said.

It probably wasn't idea to talk about this, at least not at the time but as long as Brian wanted to keep talking Vince would deal with the consequences of his words "I wasn't after Mia" Brian said and gave Vince a sad dazed look

"I wasn't lying when I said I couldn't get hard for a woman. The actual thought of a chick touching me sexually makes my fucking skin crawl"

Vince sits up straighter at that, letting Brian know he had the man's full attention. Vince wasn't sure talking about his past experiences would help but he sure the fuck would listen if it got some of it off Brian's chest. The guy held everything so close to his chest it would be helpful to learn who he really was, what he had done and been through as a child. Even if it was horrible and disgustingly hard to hear. The family needed to learn about the real Brian, not the one who they thought they had known

"That's okay" Vince said when Brian doesn't move to speak again "you do not have to want to be with a chick man, no one is going to judge you" Brian gave another bitter laugh

"Yeah, you saying you won't judge me if I tell you I like to be bent over and pounded?" Brian said.

Brian was trying to bait him into a fight, he could see the determination in those blue eyes. The need to have another screaming match because getting angry was easier then being hurt and depressed. Brian's words had the opposite effect on Vince of course, one he was not for any reason going to point out right now. He wasn't going to tell the younger man his words set a fire on need in his belly, or how they burned through his blood with a rage to beat anyone who dared to lay a hand on the younger man

"You like what you like, I'm not judging shit" Vince said.

Brian looked disappointed at first that his attempt for a fight hadn't worked, then he looked confused almost lost even

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore" Brian whispers helplessly "I don't know where I belong, I don't know how to climb out of this fucking shit show I fell into. After that damn hell with the foster care, then living on the streets until I was sixteen and taken to jail, I mapped out my fucking life to the last letter" Brian swallows "I had a fucking plan, I was going to show everyone who treated me like garbage I could be something worthwhile. I was going to climb to the fucking top to prove to everyone who beat me, used me and fucking tossed me like some damn broken toy that I wasn't some worthless, broken orphan"

Vince had to swallow himself to keep the stream of emotions from pouring out of his mouth. He hadn't thought Brian would open up so easily, in retrospect it was probably the killer hang over and raging fever the guy was sporting but Vince would take it. Because this was the shit he needed to know, what his family needed to know to help Brian

"Then you met us and we destroyed your plan" Vince said.

It almost killed Vince to say it, but he wished Brian had turned them in because some jail time would probably be better then what they had turned Brian into

"No" Brian huffs out sounding almost annoyed "that's just fucking it, I met the team. I watched and cataloged everything. Your family didn't ruin my plans, everyone showed me what I really wanted. I wanted what you all have; I wanted someone in my fucking corner. I wanted to laugh and feel loved like everyone else did" Brian gave a broken sob "I knew two weeks in I wasn't going to turn anyone in, so I started planning. Made sure I had everything right were I needed it. I put money I won from races aside to pay off the truckers. I broke into Tran's place several times to take finger prints to plant in the cars. I had everything mapped out, then race wars came and y'all were going to do that last heist" Brian squeezes his eyes closed, he rubs at his face for a moment before he drops his arm back onto the bed "I knew I was fucked the minute I told everyone I was a cop, I knew I wasn't going to have Dom, Mia, you or anyone from your family in my corner. The look of hate on everyone's faces was worse than the words, or the slap, shit I had a wad of spit smack me in the face, but that hate" Vince leans forwards towards Brian when the guy turns those blue eyes to look up at Vince's own "I've never cared for anyone like I did the people in this house" Brian whispers "I never knew seeing the people I loved look at me with so much disgust and burning hatred could hurt so damn bad" Brian huffs out a breath before relaxing into the bed.

Both men are silent for the longest time. Vince monitoring the sound of Brian's breathing, trying not to grimace at the crackle and wheeze his breath seemed to almost drown in. The sheen of sweat on Brian's to pale skin had seemed to die down some, and Vince was hopeful that meant his fever had finally broken. Brian had revealed more then Vince had been hoping for. Sure, he knew Brain cared for them, loved them even because someone didn't do what Brian did if he hadn't, but to hear the words from the blonde's mouth had still been nice. Yet at the same time it also proved how fucking hard it was going to be to make Brian trust them. Because if Vince was understanding correctly, it wasn't the lose of a job, a home or a car that had sent Brian down the rabbit hole to hell. It had been the hate the family he cared about thrown his way. Mia with her angry words, the slap she delivered and the spit she had launched at Brian. Letty snarling and calling Brian every colorful word she could think of. Vince's own hateful words calling Brian a no-good fucking pig. Leon's silent hatred, Jesse's hurtful face at finding out Brian had been a liar. Then the biggest problem of all. Dom. He had screamed, shoved and threatened Brian's life. He had sworn if he ever saw Brian's face again, he would be nothing more then a blood splatter on the sidewalk. If Vince thought back to that night, he could see it. He could see that desperation in Brian's eyes. That need for them to understand. Then his mask had fallen, he accepted his fate and disappeared like Dom had told him too. Brian was right. No one had been in his corner. No one had given him a chance. Vince looked up to tell Brian something, anything to get the foul taste of regret out of his throat but the blonde was fast asleep. Wild curls resting against his forehead, his breathing even but strained. Vince stood and headed up stairs, anything he had to say could wait. He needed time to process everything he had learned anyways. He also had to inform the others about what Brian had revealed

(TIME SKIP/PAGE BAKE)

Dinner had been a quite affair after Vince had taken the time to slowly go over everything Brian had told him. The reactions around the table had been expected for the most part. Dom's burning anger at himself, for his past words and his role in pushing Brian away. Jesse's heartbroken eyes as he stared down at his food, pushing the potatoes around his plate. Leon's scowling worried eyes as they stared towards the door to the basement. Mia had to excuse herself to whip away her tears and the most shocking had been Letty. She had never cared for Brian when she had first met him, coming from her own broken home had made her bitter towards anyone who she thought had a pampered childhood. Not only had she learned like the others Brian had anything but a rosy life, but to hear Vince tell them Brian had been torn to shreds by the hate everyone shown him that night had made the woman's strong willed disposition crumble. Everyone that sat at the Toretto table were nothing more then a bunch of misfits who hadn't fit in. Who had fought tooth and nail to get where they were. Who had made bad judgments and had one to many close calls with life. They had molded their lives around family, the one thing everyone had needed, the one thing they always offered up for others. They hadn't done that for Brian though, they hadn't given him the chance to explain. To tell them why he was blowing his cover, why he had gone out on a limb to save them. No one had given him the opportunity to make his mistakes right and come home to the family. They had pushed him over the cliffs edge and turned their backs as he fell. It was the cold reality they would have to live with for many years. If they couldn't pull Brian out of this depression, out of his need to no longer existent it was possible the tight family unit they had formed would crumble. Vince wasn't really sure when it happened, or why it took him now to realize it but Brian was a bigger part of this family then anyone gave him credit for. How they had missed it no one really knew. Sure, there had been the sting of betrayal hearing Brian call himself Officer Brian O'Connor but that didn't over look the fact as soon as he said those words he begged them not to leave and take the trucks. He through his cards out, had shown his hand and folded to save them, and no one thought twice to question why? They knew now though, because Brian Matthew O'Connor loved them more, cared for them with such a passion he turned his back to is own life plan. To his own moral code and his need to prove to himself and the ones who had hurt him as a child that he was something wonderful. He had taken a shit childhood and came out with a bright fucking smile, a strong will and passion for life that most wouldn't be capable of with his past. He was none of those things now. Brian was empty, heavyhearted and so done with his actuality in life that it would be hard to pull him from the bottom of the cliff they had tossed him from. While everyone molded over their own thoughts and feelings Vince tried to form his own plan. It was going to take some work; it was going to need a fine tuning he had never had to do before. Vince was going to have to take Brian apart, make him show every dark corner, every frightening thought and hidden secret. Vince was going to have Brian show his hand one more time, then Vince was going to fucking fix it. He was going to build Brian back up with better hopes and wishes in life. He was going to be the pillar of strength no one had given Brian as a child or an adult. It will be the most frightening, heavy trail in life he had ever had to face, but fuck they owed Brian that. They owed him so damn much it was suffocating, and in the end when he was done if Brian wanted to leave to escape the bad this family had placed on him that would be okay. It would fucking hurt, but Vince would send Brian on his way with a fucking smile because the guy needed something like that in his life. He needed to know someone was in his corner for once