Instead of just focusing on the Christmas episodes.. I wanna make this a "day in the limelight" story for Pinkie Lancer.. The last time I did this story I made a sub plot of The Smith's adopting Pinkie, cause she's an orphan and while has a found family in the GTA crew, she doesn't have a real one.. ust her adoptive brother Lazlow, and he's, well Lazlow..
I feel there's a lot I can do with this so let's go deeper into it. Keep the same Seth McFarlene humour of a wildly disfunttional family, who has crazy misadventures honestly not too out of place back in the Los Santos crew.. Yet Pinkie fits in wonderfully, she has the snark and wit to keep up with the rest of thr Smith's..
ONE YEAR EARLIER:
Carly stood in line at the Los Santos airport, her heart heavy with the weight of Michael's death. Memories of shared laughter and late-night heists swirled through her mind like a restless ghost, each recollection a painful reminder of what she'd lost.
While moving further in the line she bumps into a girl ahead of her and goes to say something but instead says "Sally?"
Sally Lucia was wearing her backwards cap like always. But also a light sundress, yellow with flowers, she also has tattoos, just not nearly as much as Dash. In fact only like 3 in total, S+F heart on her upper stomach though under the circumstance she had it removed and replaced with a small skull, and a blue butterfly on her right shoulder and the last one of her own name on her back neck, rarely seen though. She also has a small ankle tattoo of a wave, so actually has four. Carly has two tattoos, a rose with wings on her lower back and five small stars on the right side of her right wrist... I think I have a thing for that in real life, basically all my OCs have ink. Even Pinkie has a Chinese symbol for peace (at least she hopes it says peace, as she doesn't speak it, though does know some Japanese) hidden on her neck by her hair.
"Carly, hey.. I just. I…" Sally stuttered nervously.
"It's okay, I know you weren't involved with it Sal." Carly said, putting a comforting hand on Sally's shoulder.
"Carly I.. I left Franklin.. I told him, ''Michael was your friend, I don't think I could be with someone who would betray their friend" Sally said, hiding a tear. Carly hugged her again. "I know." Carly said softly. The two embraced for several seconds, nearly a whole minute, before pulling away.
"Any destination in mind?" Sally asked, wiping tears away.
"Somewhere where we won't be reminded of what happened." Carly responded.
"Only places available are Vice City and some place called Langley Falls, I think it's in Washington." Sally admitted.
"Langley Falls? Doesn't the CIA live there?" Carly replied.
"I guess. But Willis won't be bothering you again. And besides, I like seeing new places." Sally admitted.
"I agree, I do enjoy seeing new places, I guess we'll try it." Carly said, grabbing her rolling duffle bag. Sally is the same, also wearing a backpack. "I hope they have good weed there." Sally said, already shaking a bit from having gone a long while without it, Carly patting her. "You need to quit that stuff Sally." Carly admitted.
"I know, I will.. But I kinda needed it after what happened. And Dash just said some drunken ramble about setting his house on fire. No, killing him won't solve anything." Sally replied.
"I agree, we don't need anyone else to die. We just need to get away.. Let's go to Langley, come on Sal." Carly said, leading her to the ticket woman.
"Again I agree, we don't need anyone else to die. We just need to leave.. Let's go to Langley." Carly said, leading Sally to the ticket lady.
"So uh.. Where's your redhead buddy? I mean you never go anywhere without her." Sally asked Carly, who simply says "wait for it", and as if on Q Pinkie ran over, saying she got lost.
"We're going to Langley Falls, and Salome's coming with us." Carly said, playfully using Sally's real name.
"Thank you Caroline." Sally snickered, and just kinda waved at Pink.
"Sure, more the merrier." Pinkie said happily, though not overly friendly to her, just casual. The two met before but only really knew each other as Carly's other friend. Same as how Carly only really knows Dash as Blake's friend.
"And the blonde one? The one with the British accent?" Sally asked.
"Seras? She's staying, and said she'll FaceTime me." Carly replied.
"What about your crazy drunk sister?.. No offence." Pinkie asked Sally.
"She already flew somewhere. God knows where she ended up." Sally admitted.
Once arriving, Pink and Carly stayed in the motel, while Pink and Carly stayed back at their hotel room ordering some chicken caesar Sally meanwhile went to a nearby diner, eating a cheeseburger and fries. She's still wearing the same clothes she came in, grey sweatpants and white t-shirt, her black backwards hat with the green F on the front just like Franklin's, and white tennis shoes. Unfortunately the radio suddenly plays Hood Gone Love It by Jay Rock and Kendrick Lama. This song brings tears out of her, it was her's and Frank's song. Poor girl silently breaks down, doing her best not to be seen doing so by hiding in her hat.
"You okay?" came a sudden voice. Sally looks over to find Hayley Smith, in her usual outfit and headband (but coarse Sally never met her).
"Leave me alone." Sally grumpily mumbled, turning back around, giving a sniff. She wasn't in the mood for new faces. Hayley refuses though and goes over to Sally's table, sitting on the other side of her booth. "Come on, tell doctor Hayley."
"Fine.. I left my boyfriend. I mean I don't care that he killed, I mean we all killed in that city. But it was Michael. Michael was our friend.. Heck he was like a father sometimes. I never really had one." Sally explained. Hayley is surprised unfazed about this information, living with Stan and Roger you get use to that.
"Damn he killed your friend? I'm sorry to hear that hat girl." Hayley responded
Sally doesn't reply, but smiled a little at the nickname.
"Life is hard, and so are breaks up.. I mean I nearly burnt my school down a few times." Hayley admitted.
"So did my crazy sister Dash.. I love her but she's a drunken psycho, always was." Sally replied.
"I know the feeling." Hayley replied, looking down a two photos of her and a "uncle Roger" at a beach, in the first both smiling but Hayley giving bunny ears. In response Roger is seen giving a death glare in the next photo.
Sally picks at her remaining fries. "Hey though, maybe that's the answer though.. Let's get you drunk hat girl!"
"I -It's Sally, and I don't really drink."
"Will tonight girl!" Hayley cried exciting throwing money on the table and pulling Sally to Jeff's van, the one he actually lives in, opening it up he jumps out of the bed hissing at the light. "Drive us to a bar babe!" Hayley cried excitedly, pulling Sally and herself into it. Jeff not even really dress so hides in the covers to put jeans on.
"Which one babe?" Jeff said, hiding his bong.
"Is that weed?"
"Not mine!" Jeff cried defensively.
"No I.. Can I have a hit?" Sally asked nervously. "Ooo, you I like." Jeff chuckled and passses it, along with the lighter. Sally smoking the bong. "Not too much, we're still drinking." Hayley said, and Sally falls down on the bed in a sitting motion from Hayley speeding off, Jeff saw it coming and made room by crawling further away.
"So you uh, live in here?" Sally said, seeing all their stuff spread amongst it. "We're married but still live with my parents.. Otherwise yeah." Hayley replied.
"Yep, good times." Jeff said taking back the bong to smoke it. "Too bad, he seems like my type." Sally chuckled, referring to Jeff. "He has friends. But we're get there when we get there." Hayley replied.
By the next morning Sally Lucia awakens in the back of Sub-Hub, the entire night becomes a blur shortly after she and her new friends arrive at whatever bar they went to, Sally can't remember. All she remembers is this moment, wearing a Sub-Hub apron, and Sally's head was burning like someone lit some gasoline on fire inside it. "How does Dash do it?" Sally groaned out loud.
"Sally, get up, the boss is coming." came a voice that it took her a minute to remember. It was Hayley's. "What?" Sally mumbled.
"Get up." Hayley repeated and pushed her up. "We have to pretend that you work here." she said, remembering Sally would probably not even remember when she made that deal. Sally shrugs and plays along, organizing some of the bread. "You working Smith!?" came a voice.
"Y -Yes sir, working." Hayley said, with a nervous chuckle. But out of the manager's outfit came Roger the Alien. With a fake mustache and a blue suit tucked with a black tie, plus a blonde wig as he wobbles over like a penguin. "Oh.. It's you." Hayley said, breathing in relief.
"Back to work Smith!"
"Shut up Roger, you don't work here." Hayley groaned.
"Hey the name's Adam Footbody, and I demand you to work!" Roger cried, trying to slightly change his voice.
Hayley rolls her eyes, "ignore him." she tells Sally, who's using a water bottle to cool her head. Just as suddenly Carly and Pinkie enter, having tracked Sally's phone.. Or just asked Jeff, who's probably parked outside in the van he lives in. Poor guy, it's not even an RV.
"Sally there you are, you never got home, I worried." Carly said, though referring to just the hotel when she said "home".
"We were out drinking." Hayley said, as she was just kinda silently listening to the others. Sally uses this as the ''Hayley - Carly'' intros. Both shake hands. "I'm guessing that's your boyfriend outside?" Carly asked.
"Husband actually." Hayley said, showing her ring. "Aww, how lucky." Carly giggled. "Unfortunately he lives in his van, so we moved back in with my parents." Hayley explained.
"Smith, I said no breaks!" Roger repeated.
"You don't work here Roger." Hayley repeated, annoyedly.
Roger sighs and says "Hayley It's exhausting that you never just play along."
"Does he do this every time?" Carly asked quietly
"Pretty much.. He lives in my attic, he loves playing pretend." Hayley replied, Roger waving.
"Does your family know he's an alien?" Carly asked, Hayley's eyes widened, but Roger had little reaction other than mild surprise.
"W What alien, he ain't no..."
"Those disguises aren't fooling us." Pinkie responded.
"Fools Langley Falls." Roger said, and threw off his wig. "Yes I'm hiding out with her family."
"Can we? I don't want to go back to Santos, and it's clear you're already close with Sally." Carly said.
"Sure, I'm sure dad will be okay with it."
SMITH HOUSE:
"No! I refuse!" Stan yelled angrily. Francine is next to him but saying nothing, though she's clearly feeling bad about Stan's words.
"But dad..."
"Harbouring fugitives Hayley!? I'm with the CIA! And that's Townley's daughter, he's huge on the listings!"
"My dad is dead." Carly said, trying to hide sadness to make herself seem more controlled.
"Plus you're already harbouring aliens, what difference does it make?." Pinkie insisted, in response Stan immediately pulls out his handgun from beneath his blue suit, shocking Hayley and Francine, Hayley even shielding Sally. Though not the other two, just Sally. Carly gives a small node understanding of why, mixed with a small smile.
"They know! I have to kill them!" Stan cried paranoid.
"No Stan, don't hurt Sally!" Hayley yelled, even referring to her dad by his real name.
"You know the rules Hayley!" Stan yelled back.
"Look, Dan was it?" Carly started.
"Stan." Stan said casually, but still keeping the gun up and ready.
"Look Stan, we won't tell anyone. I mean after faking our deaths in North Yankton, an Alien conspiracy is easy." Carly said, trying to calm him. She still had her original gun on her, but she also knew that it would only get her killed. Better to instead calm him down.
"I say let them stay, they can't be so bad." went a German voice, Carly taking a moment to notice it was a fish. But after Roger, a talking fish wasn't exactly strange to her.
"Shut up Klaus you don't have a vote!" Stan cried rudely. Carly cringes at the reminder of Amanda.
"Yeah, who wants to listen to the fish!" Roger cried.
"But I'm the pet." Klaus insisted, sounding more timid and nervous now.
"You can't be a pet unless someone loves you." Roger said rudely, Klaus looked down sadly.
"Hey, leave him alone." Pinkie responded angrily, startling Stan and Roger.
"Yeah, that's no way to treat people." Carly agreed.
"Haw! Take that bros!" Klaus said smugly, Roger simply slaps his bowl, breaking it against the wall leaving him gulping.
Carly runs over and immediately rescues Klaus, putting him in a new bowl.
Carly put Klaus in a water bowl, Klaus calming down. "You try that again you're dead." Carly said angrily to Roger, who's unfazed and simply wobbles off into the next room.
"Oh come on Stan, let the Townley girl stay, she lost her father." Francine insisted, taking pity on her.
"Big deal, mine ran out on me and then he died, and yet I turned out just..." Stan started, but broke into tears before saying the last part. "Why Daddy?!" he yelled rhetorically and curled himself onto the couch, crying harder. Carly feels an urge to hug him, cause Francine looked almost bored instead of sympathetic, but Carly decides against it. The tension was probably still there.
"Haw-haw, Stan's dad is dead!" Roger yelled from another room.
"Shut up Alien!" Carly yelled and angrily threw a book at him, "ow, bitch!" Roger yelled still out of view.
"Fine they can stay.. But two of them will have to take the van, we only have one couch." Stan said, managing to stop.
"Oh Sally can stay with me and Jeff." Hayley said, side hugging her, which Sally giggled about.
"Pinkie can have the van, she's used to living in a caravan with her friend Sadie Amber.. I'm short and will take the couch." Carly said, Francine leading Carly up to the sheets and spare pillows. They run into Steve on the way, who doesn't say anything, just a wave. Pinkie heading outside seeing it really was a van. Poor Jeff couldn't even get a nice RV like Sadie. Just a large van with an old mattress in the back and small box TV next to it. A photo of Jeff and Hayley taped just over the bed. "Hmm, guess it'll do." Pinkie said to herself, throwing her travel bag into it and closing the back door behind herself, taking her shirt off once she was no longer viewable, just in her bra and pants as she looked for PJ's. Quickly finding some and changing into them before heading back in. As expected it was way too hot during the day, even with Jeff's portable fan that stretches to an outlet in the house to not waste air conditioning, it was still too hot.
Pinkie knew this was gonna be a rough few nights, as it still smelled of pot. But at least it can feel like her own little private area at night.
SEVERAL WEEKS LATER:
Carly ended up going on a mission with Roger and Stan, that involved taking out a Cartel Kingpin named Matthew Tononaley.
Roger leads them to an abandoned street where a shootout occurs, all of them using pistols, except Roger has dual ones. Firefights being nothing new to Carly or Stan, it even being the thing that gets them to become friends. Roger is also very familiar with gunfights, and also holds his own.
After several waves of gunfights Stan advances ahead, leaving Carly and Roger alone, only for Roger to stupidly do something that gives away the two's position, and both get themselves knocked unconscious.
Carly awakens in an unfinished basement, tied up to a chair as two goons stand guard with MP5's, Roger next to her also tied up, her AP Pistol laid on a table next to Roger's duel Glock's.
"Damn it Roger you got us caught." Carly growled angrily.
"I know I'm sorry, they sneak up on me." Roger admitted, still dressed in his "uncle Roger" outfit. But is then hit in the back of the head by one of the guards.
"Quite, both of you, the boss is coming." the gunmen said, and sure enough the upstairs door opens and slowly someone comes down. "Why is he so slow?" Carly asked Roger, but when she turned to him he had already used his super-speed to untie himself and was missing from the chair.
"Oh no." Carly groaned, being quick to piece it together. Sure enough when the man finally comes down, it's Roger again. Dressed in a beanie hat, tank top and tattoo sleeves, along with a fake mustache and blue jeans with sandals. He also has his duel pistols again.
"Your Matthew Tononaley?" Carly groaned annoyedly.
"That I am." Roger said in a stereotypical Mexican accent.
"… Fuck this." Carly groans and without even untying herself, she gets up, grabs back her gun and drags the chair with her as she stumbles back up the stairs, all while frowning annoyedly.
"Where you- Carly the story isn't over!" Roger yelled, in his normal voice.
"Bite me Roger!" Carly angrily yelled off-view.
"Do we.. Go after her?" One of the gunmen asked.
"No no, she took all the fun out of it." Roger groaned, and left.
"We're still getting paid though right?" asked the second guard.
"Stupid Alien." Carly growled angrily, only for a gun to point at her, one of the cartel men telling her to go back down. Only for him to be then shot in the side of the head, Carly not even reacting, it was normal to her by this point of her life. Expectedly the shooter reveals to be Stan Smith, who uses a knife to untie her. Carly rather calmly explains the leader was Roger.
"Well don't feel too bad, I'm pretty sure most of those guys were rapists." Stan replied, almost comfortingly.
Several days later everyone re-meets at the Smith house, and this time the storm hits Langley. Stan stubbornly refuses to evacuate with the rest of town but Francine says the opposite and Steve joins her. As does Pinkie, who spent her time bonding with Frannie (who's still a better mother than Lois and Amanda), while Sally was with Hayley and Jeff. Carly did her best to be Klaus's friend, but ended up feeling less bad for him when she started realizing he's actually kind of a smug douchebag, but still doesn't like all his mistreatment. And is still the only one actually nice to him.
Unfortunately, while everyone argues about staying or going the town floods and the family are trapped inside the house anyway. Stan continues to make more and more poor choices, leading to the house being unattached and traveling with the flood. Secretly traveling to Quahog.
Stan next tries to use the fridge as an anchor, but this only causes the house to flip upside down, poor Jeff begins having a panic attack and Carly comforts him. But Stan is still trying to make decisions and his next unwise choice is to open the window and let water in to float them to the roof. Hayley reluctantly agrees and opens the window, saying at least Stan's trying. But in doing so a White Shark gets in and bites her violently, dragging her further into the house.
"Well that didn't work." Stan said, rather dryly. Which only causes the normally calm Sally to scream loudly to the heavens and violently shake him. "YOU KILLED HAYLEY!"
Steve and Jeff pull her away as she's still trying to grab Stan, who visibly shows fear and backs away. However what manages to calm things down is Sally hearing Hayley's moans and Sally follows them and gently hugs her, but this leads to the Shark attacking the girls, but Sally shoots it. Only to almost immediately regret it afterwards, saying she wishes she found another way. However another one comes and Sally leads Hayley away with her.
Roger: It's kinda Hayley's own fault, if she didn't listen to Stan then she wouldn't have opened the window, and there wouldn't be the Shark on her!
Pinkie: Oh yes it's easier to blame. I don't see you trying anything, you just want your wigs.
Roger: Hey wigs maketh the man. Not that you would know, you don't have one, probably cause they realized your a bisexual whore in love with Carly..
Pinkie: I don't don't have to take that from you, you drunken alien hillbilly.
Roger: (angrily) Excuse me!?
Pinkie: No really, I mean don't you just "love" strutting around like your top shut! Yet the truth is you're nothing but the worthless sack of garbage your kind left here.
Roger: (gasps in horror)
Steve: Ha! (high fives her)
Stan once more makes things worse by bringing in a bear so it can fight the new Shark, but this only causes it to attack Francine, and Stan tries to kill the bear with a harpoon. Which also hits poor Francine (which even the bear gives a disapproving nod towards), making an angry Pinkie say that she hopes the Shark gets him.
Finally, a friend to the Smith family bursts in and tranquilizers every available threat.. Including Stan.
The next Morning a weak Francine tries to convince Stan to "not '' be in charge of crisis planning, but he ignores her and goes outside, only to get into a standoff with Cleveland Brown and Peter Griffin. And it's Sally, not Francine, who comes outside.
"Stan what's going…"
A spooked Stan immediately shoots Salome in the stomach, causing her to fall against the wall, blood dragging with her. All while groaning in agony, her backwards hat falling off while she does so. Leading to one of her few times not wearing it. Carly immediately ran out to her, having seen it.
"Hehehehe, classic American Dad."
Carly actually pulls out her gun, but Sally stops her before going unconscious. Carly taking her to the hospital, refusing to have the admittedly remorseful Stan to "attempt first aid".
Back to present day.
Not long after the argument over Jeff still beliving in Santa, Carly and her friends were still part time living with the Smiths. But Francine, the mother, ended up finding herself drawn to the red haired one of the three Pinkie Lancer. Over a bottle of cheap wine, Pinkie ended up spilling her guts about having not 'true' family. Why she spends so much time with Carly's despite just being a family friend. Her short lived bisexual crush on Carly probably helped to. Regardless, Francine was touched by the story.
"We can take you.. Everyone likes having you, and you fit right in Red." Francine insisted. A lot of characters Pinkie "red" cause of her red hair, and Francine didn't mind being part of that.
Pinkie was taken aback. "Really?" she asked, Francine nodes, hugging her.
Pinkie's eyes lit up. "You really mean that?"
"I do, Pinkie. I think you'd fit right in," Francine laughed, her smile wide and genuine. "And we have plenty of space—if you can handle the daily chaos."
Before their heartwarming discussion could continue, Stan burst into the room, proudly donning his festive Santa hat, which was comically perched atop his business suit. "What's got the two of you so cozy together?" he asked, arching an eyebrow with a playful smirk.
"We're adopting Lancer," Francine replied with a casual cheerfulness, her intention clear.
"What?!" Carly's voice shot through the air as she entered, her surprise turning to worry almost instantly. "But Pinkie, we need you at home!"
"I'm sorry, Carly," Pinkie managed, her excitement mingling with a lingering sense of guilt. "But I can't pass this up. Besides, you'll still see me. Just maybe a little less often." Her eyes flickered with both joy and trepidation as she spoke.
"Whoo! Pinkie stays!" Klaus the talking fish exclaimed, popping his head out of his bowl, his tiny fins flapping with enthusiasm.
"Shut up, Klaus!" Stan snapped angrily, clearly irritated by the fish's interruption.
"But I'm just excited!" Klaus protested timidly, his voice wavering.
"HUMANS ARE TALKING!" Francine shouted, her patience wearing thin. With an unceremonious fling, she tossed Klaus and his bowl out of the open window, watching as the bowl shattered on the ground outside while Klaus splashed back into the water.
"That's great about you staying though, Pinkie," Francine said, her voice settling back into the comforting tone she had adopted earlier.
A hours later, and despite Francine's objections, Stan takes Steve and Pinkiem to gun training, as Pinkie surprisingly had no expirence despite her years caught up in the GTA world. Steve also had no expience, being only 14. But it's quickly proven 'why' Francine was so against it, cause while fooling around Steve accidentally kills a mall Santa (or least they thought it was a mall santa). An unconcerned Stan convinces Steve to hide the body, and make the two promise to stay silent.
Stan does not find the man in the CIA database but he dismisses this and doesn't investigate further.
Meanwhile Pinkie was unable to lie to Francine, and caves under pressure, revealing what happened, much to Francine's anger to Stan. But even worse, the next day they receive threatening letters, stating that someone knows what they did and that they will be punished.
"Okay, let's recap," Stan said, leaning back in his chair, his tone eerily casual for the horror they had just lived through. "So Steve shot a guy in a Santa suit, and we're not sure if he was actually Santa or just a guy playing Santa…" He trailed off, waving his hand as if dismissing the lingering details. "All we know is that he's gone, and we were never able to track him down."
"Yeah, but we got that weird note in the mail," Pinkie said, her voice shaky as she remembered the ominous text. "And now some elf is threatening us? Is this real life?"
Francine was pacing the room, her brow furrowed in frustration. "I told you boys this was a terrible idea! And you, Pinkie—how could you let Stan take you there?! You're supposed to be a positive influence!"
"We never said that." Pinkie snarked.
Just then, the news blared from the TV.
"In shocking news, Christmas spirits are at an all-time low, "almost like someone killed Father Christmas…" the anchor stated, displaying footage of children crying in front of empty toy stores.
Steve stood frozen, his face pale. "Oh god, what did I do!?" he cried, his voice trembling with panic.
Carly sought to console him, moving in for a hug. "It's not real Steve. I'm sorry to break it to you kid, but it's just a story parents tell us so we're behave on the holidays."
"Maybe.. But we are also living here with an alien and talking fish." Pinkie insisted.
Klaus and Roger both pop out in the background, saying their catchphrases.
"So I guess anything is possible." Pinkie continued.
"Let's not jump to anything, Stan buried the body in the back, we're go see it. That'll prove it." Carly insisted.
Carly takes them all to the grave,, but it has mysteriously vanished and Steve is the one proven correct.
Oh god, I killed Santa!" he cried, tearfully.
Carly moves in for a hug, but befiore she can a arrow is shot between her and Steve, hitting a tree, making them both scream in fear.
Everyone turned to see a a small figure, clad in green, riding a raindeer like a horse.
As Carly reached out, arrows suddenly whizzed by them, barely missing her as they struck the wall with a thud. Everyone jumped back in shock as a small figure, clad in green, leaped through the open doorway.
"Santa's not dead you fools, we got him a healing tank, and soon he'll be ready for his revenge! On you all!"
"Santa's recovering and planning a war against you all!" the elf exclaimed, pulling back an elaborate bow. The elf glared menacingly, eyes wide, filled with a mix of righteous fury and holiday zeal.
"What? But Santa's good!"Carly protested.
"That's just what we tell you! He never forgets! And he's coming for you all! Fly Donnor, fly!" And with that he the elf flies away.
"Well, shit." Roger groaned, more annoyed than anything, like he was told that he has to work this weekend.
Several days go by and the Smiths, plus Carly Sally and Pinkie all go into the hiding, but unfortunately the place they've chosen in near the North Pole and they get themselves captured by some some elves, which are suddenly all shot by a mystery figure, who reveals themselves to be Michael Townley, who was saved by Dashelene and Stewie going back in time so Dash can talk Franklin into choosing ending C. So it was more like it never happened it. But to everyone here, it was an "unexplained recovery".
Michael smirked, unmistakably cocky. "Yup, it's me. Sandy Claws after you eh? I'd love to see that fat bitch go down my chimney." He adjusted the strap of the sniper rifle slung over his shoulder, looking ready for a fight.
"Your dad? But you said he…" Steve began, but Hayley elbowed him, shooting him a warning glance.
"Okay, what?" Michael snapped, suddenly aware of Sally's intense stare. "Is there a reason you keep looking at me like I owe you money or something?"
Sally's voice wavered as she finally managed to break free from her stupor. "I just... I have a very distinct memory of you falling off a tower and dying."
Michael raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "Hmm, doesn't sound like something I would do. Now, as I was saying, Sandy will come for you, but I got a place for us. We'll fight 'til morning. His powers only last Christmas night." he continued.
"How do you know that?" Stan asked, genuinely perplexed.
"Everyone does," Michael replied, rolling his eyes as if this was common knowledge.
"Not me," Carly admitted, looking bewildered, and Pinkie hastily chimed in her agreement.
Michael led the group to a small cabin brimming with weapons.
"Gear up!" he instructed, gesturing at the walls lined with an array of firearms, including stacks of AK-47s and even a couple of RPGs. Roger practically vibrated with excitement.
"Oh hell yes! This is going to be bloody! Just the way I like it!" he chortled, snatching up a gun with glee.
As Michael distributed weapons, he claimed the lone sniper rifle for himself—modeled after the one in the first Left 4 Dead game.
Pinkie seized an AK-47, much to Carly's reluctance. She knew Pinkie wasn't trained for combat, which was precisely why she usually left her out during heists. It felt like just another thing to worry about.
Before long, a massive army of elves charged toward the cabin, some riding polar bears and all armed with vintage Tommy guns and other WWII relics, caught in a time warp.
"Here they come!" Stan shouted, pulling the trigger of his weapon as he landed a surprising shot on one of the elves. Everyone unleashed a barrage of fire at the advancing army. Thanks to Stan's CIA skills and Carly and Michael's GTA experience, they swiftly took down the elves, but their foes kept coming, seemingly with endless numbers.
Above it all, Santa lurked in the distance, observing with a calculating glare, refusing to engage in the fray. Michael took a shot at him, but Santa dodged effortlessly, flipping him the bird in the process.
"Yeah, felt that one, you fat bastard?!" Michael yelled.
Pinkie struggled to find her aim, firing wildly while miraculously hitting a couple of elves by sheer luck. Unfortunately, her distraction cost her, as an enraged polar bear seized Carly, dragging her away.
"NO!" Pinkie cried, frustration boiling over as her feet stamped the ground. But before she could bolt after them, Michael grabbed her arm.
"Dude, save your daughter!" Stan shouted, glancing at a surprisingly calm Michael. This was out of character for Michael—he must have had a plan.
"Don't need to," Michael replied coolly.
Carly was pulled near a shed, where an elf readied a machete to finish her off. Just then, the shed burst open.
"Merry fuckin' Christmas, assholes!" roared Seras Victoria, Carly's surrogate mother figure, as she emerged spinning a minigun. She opened fire, mowing down the nearest elves while expertly avoiding Carly.
"Whoo, that's it, Seras!" Michael cheered.
Amidst the chaos, Santa halted the melee when he spotted Jeff and Hayley arriving. "Jeff, you're still on the good list, so you shall be spared," he declared, causing Jeff to hesitate.
But as elves closed in on Hayley, anxiety surged through him. "No way I'm leaving you behind!" Jeff shouted, sprinting back to their side just as Sally rushed to hug him.
"I knew you'd come back!" she beamed, squeezing him tightly.
Stan raised an eyebrow at Jeff, both impressed and incredulous.
"If it were up to me, I would've taken guys with me, but not Stan. He's an ass," Jeff admitted, his tone unusually serious.
Stan's new respect for Jeff flickered to life. "Didn't think you had it in you," Stan replied, a hint of pride creeping into his voice.
Suddenly the battle raged on, with Seras now at Carly's side, standing like a fierce guardian with a large knife in hand, fighting off approaching elves.
Just when things looked grim, and the elves began to overwhelm their defenses, Santa scanned the horizon and saw the sun rising. "Fall back!" he growled bitterly to his men. "We only have the one night!"
As Santa disappeared into the morning light, he left behind a crumpled letter as a warning to the Smith family: he would return for revenge next year.
"Well, I guess we found ourselves a new Christmas tradition," Stan muttered, disbelief mingling with a hint of excitement.
"I'm out of here," Seras announced, dropping her minigun as she headed toward a helicopter concealed among the trees. "Nice to meet you, but I don't need a murderous Santa following me home."
"You coming, Carly?" Michael asked, turning to his daughter with an expectant gaze.
"Oh gee, I don't know. I kind of started liking it here," Carly admitted, biting her lip.
"It's okay, Carly. Go be with your dad," Hayley insisted.
"Very well… Come on, Pink!"
"Oh, I… I kind of want to stay with Francine," Pinkie confessed, her heart warming at the thought.
"Aww," Francine cooed, her heart melting at Pinkie's admission.
"I… Fine… But FaceTime me!" Carly insisted, her voice resolute.
"Of course!" Pinkie beamed, embracing Carly tightly before they withdrew.
"I'm going, bye guys," Sally called out, following after Carly.
Klaus is not unlike Joe, where I do enjoy him and often root for him. But him being the butt of the joke is admittedly hilarious as well..