I couldn't believe I had to deal with this, just thinking about all the work I would have to do in the next few months made my head hurt. "I do it for them", I reminded myself. I heard a squawk next to me. It was the avox girl trying to get my attention, her distressed face, just indicated to me that something wasn't right.
"What do you want?" of course I got no answer other than a few whimpers "stop making that noise, it's annoying" I followed her towards the place she was pointing me to. I sighed in boredom, it was Leila's room. When I entered I only heard the girl's whining coming from the bathroom. When I entered in I found her rubbing her hands hard over the sink.
"What are you doing?" I turned off the faucet and pushed her away from the sink.
"It won't go away, I can't get it off," she cried.
"What is it?"
"the blood. It won't come off" she showed me her hands reddened to peeling but not a drop of blood.
"you don't have anything, stop crying, come on, get in the room" by one arm I pulled her but she fell to the floor.
"You don't understand Varia. I didn't mean to do it, I swear" she sobbed "I didn't see them, I only listened to him. What have I done?" she backed up against the wall and started hitting her head, closing her eyes tightly.
"stop doing that you're going to hurt yourself" I shook her by the shoulders. This is great! now I have to take care of this stupid girl by myself. Where were her damn mentors when they were needed? "Stop it Leila" she opened her eyes and a horrified scream escaped her lips. I looked behind me and there was no one there.
"No, get away! I didn't mean to kill you!" she started to crawl to the far corner of the room.
"Stop screaming!" I yelled at her and with one slap I managed to shut her up. Leila shrunk in on herself, closing her eyes again and talking rambling incoherently to herself.
"What was that screaming?" rushed in Tigris, startling me. Behind her came the avox. It didn't matter that I had been working with her for two years now, still her appearance gave me the creeps.
"This girl has lost her mind. Avox, call for a doctor immediately" I order her. Tigris crouched down near Leila and gently stroked her face, which only generated more screams. Damn it! In two days we had to be in front of the cameras and this girl couldn't be in that mess.
It didn't take long for the doctor to arrive. It was fortunate that the training center would have its own medical team, in case any tribute had to be treated. The doctor doped her up and the girl fell into a deep sleep.
"With what I have injected her she will sleep all night, don't worry" he chuckled. "It is quite common among the new victors to have this kind of crisis at the beginning and then with time it will pass," he played down it.
"What if it doesn't go away?" said Tigris in a somber tone.
The doctor searched in his bag and took out a pill flask, "Give it to her. It's the best drug for molding difficult personalities" he winked. The stylist's indignation was evident, so I took the pill bottle and thanked the doctor for his prompt visit.
"By the way, where are the girl's mentors? this should be their job not ours."
"Cecelia started bleeding. You know, since Leila killed Lec she hasn't been feeling quite right. Woof decided to accompany her to the medical center."
"These aren't her first games, she should be used to death by now. They should be thankful they got one out alive" I said irritated by this whole situation. If the mentors didn't do their job, it was our obligation to 'replace them' which only meant being in the eye of the storm.
"No one should be used to death. These damn games serve no purpose but to kill innocent children," Tigris answered me coldly. I felt a shiver run through me at her words. How dare she speak that way, someone might hear her.
"Well, whatever. Since the girl doesn't need us for now, I'm leaving. I'll see you tomorrow to set up the next interviews."
"I'll stay with her tonight" she mumbled, I just nodded and left the room. I prayed that this was just a mishap and the next few months would pass as smoothly as possible. Any mistake I made, my family would be the first to be punished.
HAYMITCH POV
As soon as I brought Leila to the hospital, a group of soldiers pulled me away from her, handcuffed her to her bed, two of them guarding the door to her room while 4 others patrolled the corridor. I couldn't believe how everything had gone to hell so fast. I was scared for Leila, I didn't know what was going to happen to her, what had happened was not her fault, the only one to blame was now receiving medical attention he didn't deserve. Hours passed and I was still planted near her door, when I heard a nurse say that Leila had woken up I went back to trying to negotiate with her guards to let me see her.
"Come on guys, do you really think she deserves this treatment?" one of the younger ones looked guiltily at the other.
"That doesn't matter, Abernathy. We have orders not to let anyone through."
"It'll just be a couple of minutes, that's all."
"if she attacks anyone again, it will be our responsibility"
"no, it won't. It will be entirely my fault, I will assume it" I assured them.
"what if we let him in for 5 minutes Dan?" said the younger soldier "besides she's handcuffed I doubt very much she can do much"
"The kid's right Dan" I said. Soldier Dan mulled it over for a few minutes and then let out a resigned sigh.
"Only 5 minutes, Abernathy. You have to stay close to the door, if you go near her bed, we'll take you out immediately and you'll only be bringing more trouble to the girl."
"Understood."
I quickly entered her room, making sure to respect all the rules, I knew the soldier was watching through the small window in the door. Leila was staring at the ceiling, with no expression to let me know what she was thinking.
" hey" I got her attention. She just let out a sigh but didn't look at me, her gaze focused on some spot on the ceiling.
"What a day, don't you think?"
"How are you feeling?"
"I've had worse days, I guess" I didn't know what to say. Everything I'd had on my mind for days seemed to be stuck in my throat. I was afraid of saying the wrong words and the fact that she was avoiding my gaze only made me more nervous. I was sure she hated me and I deserved it, I was a complete asshole to her.
"excuse me" I was bumped on the shoulder with the door by a male nurse as he came into the room. He was coming in with dinner for Leila. He brought the table with the tray over to her, and she settled better on her bed and stared at her food before looking at the male nurse.
"Thank you, I was starving," Leila said sweetly.
"you're welcome," he replied politely.
"You should go, Haymitch, otherwise you'll miss your dining time." Was that an excuse to not see me? I just stood there looking at her not knowing what to do or say "Can I have another blanket? It's a little cold," she asked the nurse. He went to the closet to get a blanket. She took a bite of food to her mouth "this is so good" she said enthusiastically, I knew she was lying, I had never seen her eat with enthusiasm, it always seemed more like a punishment for her.
A loud banging on the door alerted me that my time was up. Having this unsettling feeling, I finally moved to leave "Haymitch!" Leila stopped me; she looked me straight in the eyes "Haymitch, thank you for always being nice to me" a shiver ran down my spine, my guts were screaming at me not to move from where I was. Knock Knock! Not wanting to cause more trouble for Leila than she already had, I decided to behave myself, obey and leave the room.
In the distance I saw Johanna coming accompanied by Boggs. If he was here that meant that nothing good would come for Leila. I didn't understand why Johanna was coming with him. After a messy exchange, the die was cast and Leila would have a trial with Coin and company. Ironically not for what she had done or what they had done to her but to clean up Plutarch's fucking image.
When we entered her room I noticed she wasn't in bed and the nurse was gone too. The water running in the sink indicated to me that she was in the bathroom, how strange that the nurse hadn't stayed waiting to put the cuffs back on her or at least had called one of the soldiers. I couldn't stand her silence any longer and with a bad feeling running through my body I bent down to look under the door. Blood!
"Johanna go and get a doctor" I yelled at her.
"what?" dammit why won't she move.
"NOW! get help" I jumped up and threw myself against the door with all my strength, but I didn't get the door to move an inch.
"Get off Haymitch!" shouted Boggs at me as with a nightstick he hit the lock on the door, instantly breaking it and allowing us to enter. For a moment the image of Maysilee covered in blood was in front of my eyes paralyzing me. Leila was covered in a river of blood, I couldn't tell where her hair ended and the blood began.
A shudder brought me back to my body and I immediately crouched down trying to stop the blood but I couldn't see where it was gushing from. With trembling hands I grabbed one of her wrists trying to find her pulse, but there was nothing.
"Why did you do this, Leila?" I heard a broken voice say but in the bathroom it was just Boggs and I. He was doing tourniquets on both her arms but it was no use, she was dead. I felt the push and shouts of someone else. Boggs lifted Leila's body and put it on the gurney, and a group of nurses carried her away. When I got up I saw the broken mirror over the sink.
"Come on Haymitch" Boggs pushed me out of the bathroom. We walked out of the room and there stood an agitated Johanna.
"She's dead. Leila is dead," I said. It's my fault, I omitted. It was only a few minutes and I wasn't on time, I was late again, she was dead because of me. I stood there, staring without looking, just listening to distant voices.
"It can't be," Johanna whispered.
"It isn't. I could feel her pulse, weak but there it was. I managed to stop the bleeding, now we just have to wait for medical intervention and have hope" Boggs said with a frown. How long would it be like this? How long would it take for the doctor to come and confirm what I already knew, she was gone.
"Why did she do this, what a stupid brat!" Johanna threw a tantrum and kicked the air "weren't these orangutans supposed to be looking after her?" she pointed to Leila's guards.
"Miss Mason, I advise you to control yourself" Boggs spoke strongly.
"we never imagined..." Boggs held up a hand silencing the young soldier.
"I know. It's nobody's fault" said Boggs looking at all of us "Dan, go to command and report what happened, Ben resume your duties from before until further notice" the two soldiers obeyed immediately.
"Come on Haymitch you need to get cleaned up" said Johanna much calmer. I knew I had to move but I couldn't, I just looked at Leila's blood on my hands.
"ahem" someone cleared their throat next to me.
"Mrs. Everdeen, is Katniss all right?" Boggs asked and with that he got my attention.
"Yes, she's fine. Haymitch?" I looked at her "they've taken her to the OR. The medical team here is excellent" she intensified her gaze on me and said emphatically "however they can only work as far as their resources allow. You know the resources here are limited" why was she telling me that, what did that have to do with saving Leila's life?
"I'll do it" Johanna said anxiously, quickly understanding Grace's words.
"No Johanna, you can't while you are under the effects of medication."
"I'm clean" finally months of going without a fucking drop of alcohol was doing me some good. "I'll donate whatever it needs."
"The point is to help her, not to kill you in the process Haymitch."
"I know she was appreciated among the squadrons. I'll ask for volunteers and send them right away" Boggs said without waiting for an answer and hurriedly walked away. An idea came to my mind although I wasn't sure if it would work.
"Johanna, go to the kitchens, tell Sae what happened, I'm sure she will be willing to donate blood, maybe she can convince someone else from the kitchens to do it. Go quickly!" I urged her
"Yes. I'll get Finnick too" She ran out of sight and I followed Grace into a room with several recliners. I assumed this was where the donations were being made. Before I could enter she sent me to the bathroom next to the room to clean myself, I hurried as fast as possible, wiped my arms until my skin took on a pinkish hue from all the scrubbing.
"Lie down here, and stretch out your arm" she ordered me. I barely felt the needle, my mind was with that redhead, I prayed to heaven that she wouldn't die.
"Haymitch!" I heard Finnick's agitated voice "Johanna told us what happened" he looked at Grace "I'm going to donate".
"Me too" said Annie's soft voice.
"no, Annie, it's not necessary," I said. I knew her well enough to know that all of this triggers her fears.
Taking a deep sigh she replied "I'm fine" Grace directed them to one of the couches and did the same process as with me. About 15 minutes later Sae along with three more people I recognized from the kitchens arrived, all of them with worry written on their faces. Katniss and Prim arrived just a couple of minutes later, they both offered to donate blood but Katniss couldn't because she was still on medication and recovering from injuries suffered in district two and Prim was too young.
To everyone's surprise, Peeta arrived, accompanied by his guards, to donate blood; he was allowed to do so since he had also been off his medication for several weeks. As each one was finishing we gave way to another, the room was in stony silence, so we went out to wait in the corridor where a considerable line of people were waiting their turn to go into the room.
"Castor, Pollux you also come to donate?" I heard Katniss ask.
"We heard the news about a soldier and decided to come right away. She has been quite kind to my brother, it's the least we can do" said Castor, his brother gave him some signs and he translated "we feel guilty about what happened"
"How so?" asked Finnick, Polllux made more signs for Castor to speak for him.
"Well she knows avoxes very well, and you know their difficulty with food, so she always ensured that Pollux's meals had the right consistency, to make it easier for him to eat. As a thank you, we offered to let her watch every recording we got from district 8, she was looking for her sister and mother. A couple of days ago she saw the charred body of a girl and her mother, she recognized her sister from the stuffed animal next to the corpses. We just wanted to help her, we didn't think that..."
"It's not your fault, no one could have guessed that Leila would do something like this," said Katniss. All this time she was living in denial, she still had hopes of finding her little sister, how could I not have noticed? The times we talked about her, she always talked about her sister in the present tense and didn't seem so affected that she wasn't here, the only time I truly saw her sad was when she talked to Peeta after the dispute with Gale.
As the minutes ticked by, Finnick, Annie, Johanna, Katniss, Peeta and I stood waiting in the corridor. Every so often a nurse would appear requesting more units of blood for the OR where they had Leila, I didn't understand why it took so long and they didn't tell us anything about her state. After some time Annie sat next to Finnick, Johanna and Katniss in one of the waiting benches in the corridor. I could have sat in front of them but I wanted to avoid the worried looks of Johanna and Finnick. I sat on one of the benches about three feet away, Peeta sat across from me; I felt his piercing gaze on me, like a coward I hid my face in my hands.
"I didn't know this could be so uncomfortable" I heard a woman's voice say "do you mind if I sit here for a moment?"
"no, go ahead" said Johanna
"I've seen you before, you're from the capitol" said Finnick
"Well, I'd like to believe that I already belong to the thirteen" replied the woman sarcastically.
"That's right! I recognize you, you're one of the escorts from district 8. What's your name?" said Johanna.
"I was," the woman corrected her. "Now I do other work here. I'm Varia."
"If you're here, it's because you know Leila, right?" asked Katniss.
"I was her escort for a while. I'm only here because I wanted to do my good deed for the day even though I know it will be useless, but you should know that better than me."
"What do you mean?" replied Johanna aggressively.
"To the girl" answered Varía as if it were the most obvious thing. No one answered, I didn't understand what that woman meant by that. "Let me guess, you guys barely know her, right?"
"So what? "Johanna replied sullenly.
"She's not worth torturing yourself over. This isn't the first time she's tried and I can assure you, if she comes out of this alive, it won't be the last. If you appreciate the girl at all you'd better let her go, sometimes death is the most merciful act you can have on someone."
"Are you out of your mind?"
"Johanna calm down!" said Finnick "you're right Varia, we don't know her much, only the image that the capitol wanted to show us, but you did know her. Maybe you could solve our doubts?" he said in a peaceful tone.
"Does it matter?" scoffed Varia.
"It matters a lot to us" stepped in Johanna angrily.
"What do you want to know?"
I had some questions about Leila's past but I knew that in our time together she only shared certain information with me, avoided talking about what hurt her and I never wanted to push to know more. I knew their curiosity was because they didn't know her well enough like I did to understand that Leila lived in fear of everything to do with the Capitol. It felt wrong for this woman to share with us that private life that Leila refused to talk about, but like a worthless person I just stayed in the same position without saying anything. Maybe if they heard that Leila had walked the same path as Finnick, they would leave her alone.
"Why did Snow hate her so much?" Peeta muttered.
"And at the same time he didn't seem to hate her," said Finnick. Varia took a few moments before replying.
"At first he didn't hate her, she was just another tribute" she whispered "The moment Leila volunteered, it was more than obvious that she wasn't quite normal. It's not the first time someone volunteered, there were cases, scarce clear ones, like your friend here" she points to Katniss "siblings trying to save each other, older ones swapping places with someone smaller. But in Leila's case it wasn't like that, the girl chosen was even older than her.
The problem came later on the train when she started to show her intentions; she saw the games as a means to get a house and luxuries, of course this sat quite badly with her two mentors and if you add to that Leila's dad was well known in the district for being a horrible man, well, by association his daughter was too.
Woof and Cecelia were having a hard time dealing with Leila. Her constant fascination with everything the capitol was offering her, irritated them, on the contrary her reaping partner was reserved, tender in a way, he was a good boy. Cecelia had a great fondness for him, maybe it was the hormones or the fact that she was expecting a boy, I don't know. I just remember that the two of them perhaps inadvertently turned their backs on the girl, only talking to her when it was strictly necessary; Otherwise her stylist and I dealt with her. I don't entirely blame them, Leila was quite irritating but quickly her stylist and I noticed that something wasn't right with her.
She had this mania of always looking for everyone's approval, mine, the prep team, the stylist and even the servants. Something that perhaps touched all of us, was that behind this exasperating child was her constant search for human contact, she was so affectionate that it was even pitiful.
As the days went by I got the impression that maybe Leila's motives for being in the games were not entirely selfish" I remembered that first meeting with Leila, she mentioned I don't know how many times her father and how happy she was to be there; before leaving she hugged us all, action that upset Woof.
After a moment of thinking Varia continued "When she talked about winning, she never meant that the 'prize' was going to be for her, but that it would make her dad happy, it was disturbing how she depended on him so much. When they served her dinner it was always the most anxious time for her, she didn't know if she could eat this or that, if her dad would be angry. Before the interviews came Leila asked her stylist for a certain type of dress, because that's what her dad wanted her to wear, which made Tigris very angry, she didn't want to present a girl as a prostitute. In the end they came to an agreement but Tigris was not very happy with the result."
"What happened after the games?" asked Katniss.
"After her games she lost her mind, the veil over her eyes fell off and the guilt for what she had done consumed her. She was constantly hurting herself, she had horrible hallucinations, before the final interview to then return to her district, she tried to hang herself from the lamp in her room. We kept the matter secret, the stylist, an avox and myself. We didn't want the girl to get in trouble."
"Nor did you guys want to have them either" said Johanna sarcastically.
"Where were Woof and Cecelia?"
"as I already told you, she became very fond of the boy and when he died, that caused a great impact on her, when Leila was being transferred from the arena to the capitol Cecelia started to feel bad and was admitted to the capitol hospital, of course Woof accompanied her the whole time.
As they would be returning on a later train to their district, Tigris and I were forced to accompany Leila on her return. Everything seemed normal when we arrived, she was given her house and all the benefits that went with it. At first glance her family was strange, an old man who could have been her grandfather turned out to be the much mentioned father, a rude young man was her brother and an apathetic and drunken woman, whose first thing she did was lock herself in her room, was her mother. I remember that as soon as the cameras were turned off that man slapped Leila throwing her to the floor, he accused her of having embarrassed him, that he had ordered her to give a good show and not to finish everything in three days. From that moment on, we knew that the girl was doomed.
After two hellish weeks in that district and with that horrible family, except for Leila of course, three things became clear to me, the district was not happy that the daughter of the despicable butcher won, he had many friends among the peacekeepers which made him dangerous and thirdly Leila was on her own.
Much to my regret I had to hand over control of Leila's medication to her father, he..."
"What medication?" I asked
"Well, she was uncontrollable and self-destructive, the only way to calm her down was to treat her with the drug prescribed by the capitol doctor."
"They were drugging her?" said Johanan in horror.
"It was the only way to keep her from hurting herself. You don't know how frenetic and uncontrolled she was at that time, not to mention the hallucinations".
"Her father took advantage of that too, didn't he?" asked Annie.
"I suppose. A few months later I came back before the victory tour started; I don't know how her father had done it but he got Leila declared unfit to make decisions and with that he got direct payment and handling of her payment as a victor. As if those months had not been a nightmare for her, President Snow came to visit her personally."
"I guess he wanted to ask her for a favor she couldn't refuse," Finnick said bitterly.
"Yes. Her father was more than willing to have Leila provide her services, as long as the president agreed to generously repay the favor to his faithful follower. Snow was more than pleased that it all went so smoothly, what he didn't take into account is that as soon as Leila was given the good news, she jumped for his throat" we all gasped in horror.
"She attacked him?" said Katniss dumbfounded.
"Leila? the same girl who is incapable of saying anything bad against him?" said Johanna dazzled. Varia smiled in pleasure for a few moments.
"Yes. Snow's frightened face at that moment is something to revel in. Leila would have ripped his throat out right then and there if it weren't for her father intervening. And as you may have realized by now, he was her biggest fear. That didn't stop Leila from threatening Snow with exposing him as the monster he was in front of the capitol and the districts, of course she refused to prostitute herself and under threat Snow forbade us to talk about what had happened.
In any other case Snow would have had the victor's family killed immediately but he was not going to be stupid enough to do that favor to Leila, it would only make her more dangerous. Under threat from her father Leila was what you could call 'collaborative' on the victory tour, only a couple of minor incidents occurred until we got to district 5. She in a fit of stress grabbed a Peacekeeper's gun and tried to take her own life but in the fight she only managed to slightly injure the guard and add to her guilt. Snow took that incident as an opportunity to spy on her and get to Leila's weak spot."
"Why didn't he kill her when she attacked him?" asked Katniss.
"Because Leila was well liked in the capitol and killing her like that with no apparent explanation would only make her a martyr and he didn't want that. Besides, President Snow wanted revenge for the affront Leila had done to him, but not with her life that would be too easy. When we returned from the tour, Tigris and I warned her to stay away from anyone she really cared about, we alerted her that Snow would use her loved ones against her. She seemed to understand our warnings and isolated herself from everyone but on reaping day her only two friends were reaped. There was nothing she could do for them, I told her to let them die, that this was Snow's trap but she didn't listen to me, she would do anything she could to save one.
As soon as we arrived at the capitol, Leila and I were separated from the group, we were informed that we would have our own apartment on the 8th floor but not shared with the new tributes, I was also stripped of my position as escort to just be Leila's escort."
"what was the point of forcing her not to be a mentor?" asked Annie
"That she couldn't help her friends, Annie," replied Finnick.
"Leila would have done anything to give her friends advantages. If she hadn't agreed to prostitute herself on Snow's terms, he wasn't going to allow her to profit, for herself, from the desire the sponsors had for her."
"She wouldn't have done it," Johanna said doubtfully.
"you're wrong, she would have done it without hesitation. By this point Leila had taken off the blindness she had in her eyes about her family and her life. She was more than aware that one way or another that was going to be her destiny; if her father didn't sell her earlier it wasn't because he was protecting her, he was just saving her for more ambitious plans.
Anyway, she couldn't do anything, the guards locked us in our apartment until the games started, in the bloodbath Kai died, and Lara was still alive, she had managed to hide. Only that fact consoled Leila from the death of her other friend. One afternoon a peacekeeper came to pick us up to take us to Snow's mansion. He was waiting for us with a great spectacle, the slow and torturous death of Lara. Leila knelt down and begged him to end her suffering; Snow enjoyed those 4 hours in which Leila humiliated herself asking for mercy for her friend.
Worst of all, this was just the beginning, Snow told her that he would see to it that from now on, every minor member of both kids' families would be reaped and that their deaths would be even worse than we had ever seen. Unless, of course, Leila accepted his proposal of a few months ago."
"And she accepted," Johanna stated.
"I'm surprised it was a secret from the capitol," said Finnick.
"Because unlike you kid, she wasn't sold to the public. Snow sold her to a closed circle of disgusting men who had a lot of power but preferred to stay in the shadows. Some of them were Dr. Iliadius Cane, Caius Templus, Lucius Vicus ans some others" I startled when I heard the first name, Leila mentioned him as one of the main mind control researchers, he was one of those responsible for the torture that Peeta went through.
"Cane and Templus?!" asked Finnick in horror.
"Who are those?" asked Johanna.
"They work for the Capitol for the investigative area but they are better known for their...cruel tastes."
"I am not going to describe to you the state Leila arrived in that day, who knows all the abuse she had to go through with those monsters. A doctor had to come to treat her, she didn't speak for days after that. Tigris was so outraged by what had been done to her that she went to confront Snow, of course to no good, she was lucky that the president just fired her and declared her a pariah to the capitol, I'm still surprised she didn't get a worse punishment.
Anyhow, from that day on things got worse for Leila, Snow forced her to participate in television and repeat the scripts they had prepared for her to make fun of the districts, thus isolating her more from everyone. Cane, who was her main abuser, had the 'brilliant' idea to organize private tournaments with her." I wanted to throw up, or shut that woman up, I didn't want to listen to that story anymore. I was horrified at every detail of everything Leila had to go through alone.
"What kind of tournaments?" asked Peeta.
"They were testing their new creations on her."
"You mean mutts?" asked Johanna indignantly.
"Yes. To these 'parties in honor of Leila', were invited select members of the upper social classes of the capitol, they could watch as Leila faced the new mutts that would be used in the following games and also bet on spending a night with the girl. These meetings were quite anticipated among its members" Varia snorted with sarcasm "Imagine that reward, the girl who in the arena was lethal but in the room she submitted to her tormentor. That was a dream for all the filthy men who desired her; in possessing her they felt that they themselves were taming the beast itself.
Added to that was the sadism of Templus, who more than raping her, what excited him most was mentally torturing her. To all the conversions of people into avox, Leila was the main guest. Those who showed some compassion to the girl, ended up being tortured and she was the main witness of that. One day, in desperation she tried to jump off the roof of the training center, Snow was so enraged that he punished her by calling Cane and Templus" Varia closed her eyes and ran her fingers over her temples "I could only listen to Leila's pleading cries for hours... After that Snow imposed the most unpleasant peacekeepers to watch over her all the time. They had fun tormenting Leila day and night, even in the bathroom she couldn't go in peacefully because they were following her all the time.
On top of that, she was under constant surveillance at home. Snow and her abusers would send her extravagant gifts from the capitol. A slap in the face for the girl, which had to deal with the memory of what she suffered at their hands. Her mental state began to deteriorate more and more, she would self-harm, sometimes she would simply stop eating or gorge herself on food and then vomit it up; it was her dependence on drugs that kept her going. I am surprised that she has lasted so many years alive, and that only now she has done something against her father. You know what they say, you can only corner a frightened animal so much before it decides to attack."
We were speechless. I wasn't surprised that Leila had tried to take her own life, I was beginning to understand a lot of things about her that I always overlooked, and I regretted being so selfish with her.
"What about you? how is it possible that a Capitol person, with your position, managed to escape?" asked Johanna suspiciously.
"This is where Plutarch comes in, isn't it? you used Leila to get him to help you get out of the capitol" Finnick affirmed.
"I don't have to give you any explanation, but if you are so interested. Yes, I did it, I had to save my skin and that of my family. Her fragile mental state was not going to last for long and I was not going to risk my life for her. No one in their right mind would sacrifice even a piece of bread to give it to her" she scoffed "anyone in my position would have done the same, at least Leila understood" Varia with an arrogant pose got up and left.
I got up from my seat too. I was desperate with this long wait. I moved as far away as I could, almost approaching the doors that led to the corridor where all the surgical rooms were located. I didn't want to hear their comments about Leila's story. All this was so painful that the oppression in my chest did not let me breathe. I saw a nurse come out again asking for more blood. I tried to intercept her to ask for information but to no avail.
"Anyone who saw you would say you are sad" Peeta said behind me. I turned to look at him and only saw an angry face, what was Peeta trying to pull? "You have a pretty strange way of loving those you care about, Haymitch. Varia is right, the best thing that can happen to Leila is to die," he sneered coldly. Was he trying to provoke me?
"She's not going to die, Peeta," I replied. He made a scoffing sound, turned and walked away. I thought Peeta would have some kind of feelings for Leila, but maybe I was seeing a friendship where none existed.
Another couple of dozen minutes passed, until finally a doctor followed by a nurse came out. I saw that the others also got up and approached.
"How is she?" I asked. He walked by ignoring me. Instead he spoke to the nurse who accompanied him.
"Call Aurelius, she will be in his custody as soon as she wakes up. Order 24-hour supervision of the patient."
"Oh great! it'll be just like old times for her" Johanna said sarcastically.
The doctor continued ignoring Johanna's comment "she will also have to stay tied to her bed until she is taken to the psychiatric ward, then it will be Aurelius' problem".
"Wait, wait, wait, what does that mean?" I asked again.
"Hey doctor, don't you hear that he is asking you something" said Johanna sullenly.
"I already wasted too much valuable time in that operating room with your little friend to continue wasting it here. There are people with serious problems that really need me" the doctor cut her off and left. We all turned to the nurse
"She's out of danger, if that's what you want to know" the nurse said wearily.
"What's with this kind of attitude, isn't it supposed to be your job to save lives?" I replied angrily.
"you said it yourself, to save lives, like the victims of the bombings in districts 8 and 10, not the life of someone who consciously doesn't want to be in this world"
"she didn't do it on purpose, she..." Johanna tried to defend her poorly.
"In my years as a nurse I have had to see similar cases, desperate people trying to end their problems, always the result of their actions is chaotic and messy but fixable. However, what Miss Brightlock did, was calculated and a polished job, a small opening but in the right place to generate the most damage possible. If we had not been under direct order from President Coin to keep her alive we would not have spent so many valuable resources on her "No one said anything, too perplexed to speak. The nurse breathed again wearily, "The truth is, it's a miracle she's alive. She had at least two cardiac arrests in the OR, not to mention that we almost didn't manage to stop the bleeding, the doctor's annoyance is understandable. If she was in trouble she should have asked for help instead of doing something so selfish."
"You don't know her to say that," Johanna said. The nurse just shrugged her shoulders.
"Anyway, I have work to do. Your friend will be moved upstairs, so you'll have to wait there, if you want to see her" said the nurse before going on her way.
I didn't wait for them to say anything else, I went straight upstairs to wait for Leila to be brought in. Only a few minutes later Finnick and Johanna caught up with me.
"She's going to be fine Haymitch" Finnick said, I just snorted in response. He didn't know, nor could I know. I didn't know what I would run into when she woke up and it scared me. No one said a word after that, I would have liked for them to just take off and leave me alone but no, here they were and I didn't understand why. " look, here comes Plutarch "
"But look who decides to show his face at last," Johanna mocked. "were you busy taking advantage of some other girl, Heavensbee?".
"Come on guys, I wouldn't do something like that. If I came here it's because I heard about what happened to her. It's a shame, poor Leila," he said 'grief-stricken'.
"Don't act like you only just now found out everything, Plutarch. Spare me the acting" I said angrily
"I don't act. Just so you know I'm innocent of what I'm accused of, I would never do something like that, Leila has always inspired me, what you all are inspired by, pity, that's all" his honest disdain only infuriated me more.
"So Varia and Leila were lying about the parties? weren't you a part of that?" I said with derision.
"I was playing my role, I couldn't have considerations with her without putting my position in danger."
"Then what was and is your interest in her? Because Coin also wants her alive. And don't lie to us saying it's just her good heart" Finnick said angrily. Plutarch studied each of us for a moment before answering.
"You are too young and don't understand how a rebellion works. It's not just overthrowing their defenses, it's also taking down the people who have the power and who are behind the power itself. In my years with the capitol elite I managed to mingle with them, gain information and even gain useful followers who would help us when the time came. However, there was a group to which I never had access, a group of people who had much more power than Snow but were not interested in power itself, only in being able to do their will with impunity.
They had control of the research area, although that does not sound like a big deal, I know that in their laboratories human and biological weapons were manufactured. The problem is that I have no proof of that. But Leila did witness many of the experiments that were being done there, the human trafficking that they were leading, she has that information. President Coin has been patient with her for that reason."
"But after all you have done to her, Leila wouldn't tell you anything because she doesn't trust you" I said with disdain.
"but she did trust you Haymitch and I guess Plutarch expected you to do the dirty job for him" Finnick speculated. Plutarch looked away, anger took over me and I threw my punch at him but Finnick easily stopped me from hitting him.
"Let him go Finnick, he deserves it" said Johanan.
"calm down Haymitch" asked Plutarch "yeah, when I saw that she had some closeness with you, I held out hope for a while that maybe she would give in but well, with all the recent events there's no point anymore"
"Her dad left you guys in the shit, no Heavensbee?" scoffed Johanna "I bet that now the district knows the wanderings of their star ally, they're not so much on your side but more on Leila's, no?"
"Do yourself and us a favor Plutarch, get out of here" I growled, without another word he left. "you two should go too"
"It's late Finnick, you go with Annie. I'm staying" Finnick frowning, nodded and left. At that moment I saw that in the back room they were carrying Leila.
"You too Johanna" I said to her as I moved down the hallway, but she didn't obey me and followed me. We stood at the entrance to her room not daring to enter "if you feel indebted or anything to Leila, you know you owe her nothing, she wasn't expecting anything in return."
With an exasperated breath she answered me "I know, Haymitch, but I want to be here. Besides, you heard them, they are going to put her on 24 hour supervision and we can't allow her to be with a stranger; and before you tell me that you are going to stay all the time with her, you know that's not possible, you also have to at some point rest. Let me help her and be useful at least now" I just watched her, she threw her arms in the air "yeah, maybe I wasn't the nicest to her but that doesn't mean I'm happy about what happened. She's my friend, I guess"
"friend?"
"Well, I never said I was a good friend," she said looking down at me. I mulled it over, it was better to count on Johanna than no one, I didn't know if Leila would want me away and I didn't want her to be alone.
"Well, depending on how things go we'll take turns. I'll stay with her tonight."
"Okay, I'll come early tomorrow then, though if anything happens feel free to let me know."
I nodded "Joahanna?" I stopped her before she left.
"I don't want to hear you and Finnick refer to Leila as crazy never again, got it?" with guilt taking over her features, she nodded and left.
I walked into the room and finally saw Leila in her bed, next to her a vial transfusing blood. Both forearms were bandaged, her face was as pale as I had ever seen it, that eternal blush on her cheeks was gone. A pang of pain shot through me when I saw her troubled expression, even in her sleep she was not calm. Was she having a nightmare? I moved even closer to her bed, wanting to bring her into my arms and comfort her, but I was repulsed by the idea of touching her without her consent.
I looked at her hands, they didn't bother to heal the lacerations on her hands. I went to one of the cabinets in the room and took out what I needed to cure them. When I barely touched her hands with mine, I noticed that they were freezing cold. She was probably cold. A few hours ago she had asked the nurse for a blanket. As soon as I put a blanket on her, I set about healing her wounds and gently put bandages on her fingers.
She looked so fragile and vulnerable in this hospital bed. My good and sweet Leila, how many monsters you have had to live with. How had I dared to diminish her to just a pretty face, when she is so much more than that.
I remembered all the times she did things selflessly just to please me or just because she cared about me. How could I not realize that the affection she had for me was real. I was so blind that I didn't see how much trust she had in me, when it was most obvious to everyone, she hated to be touched and yet she felt safe in my ungrateful arms. Maybe some of her actions were just a response to the fear of losing me or me getting mad at her, like when we almost slept together or when she decided to surprise me with that damn soup.
I remembered the day we rescued Peeta and I found out that she had information about the kind of torture that he had been put through, only a few days later she decided to go and try to 'help' Peeta even if it meant being exposed to the scrutiny of the doctors. She did it all for me. Maybe Plutarch had judged me right, if I had known that Leila had inside information, I would have tried to convince her to give it to me, that's how I forced her to tell me the story of the man who was hijacked by the capitol. What a fucking dickhead I had been!.
I regretted even comparing her to Cassie, who grew up poor but with a family that adored her and Leila, 'rich' but facing this unfair world alone, they were both so different but perfect in their own way. The memory of Cassie was one I treasured with all my heart, she was my first love, one whose life was taken away from her because of my selfishness. That was a regret I would carry with me always. But I could not allow Leila to have that same fate, she deserved more.
"Leila, I'm sorry for everything, forgive me, don't hate me" I begged her, I wasn't sure if she was listening to me but I wished she was.
The hours passed and every now and then a nurse would come in to check her vital signs. I didn't waste my time asking them any questions, I knew who I would have to deal with later was Leila's doctor. After midnight I got up from my seat next to her bed to go to the bathroom, I was so exhausted that I was falling asleep, I splashed water on my face to wake myself up. When I came out of the bathroom I saw an old man leaning over Leila kissing her forehead.
"Who the hell are you? Get away from her!" I ordered him but he ignored me. I noticed he looked at the door, there stood a nurse.
"Can I have a glass to put them in?" he asked her, pointing to the flowers he was carrying in his trembling arm. I took a closer look at the old man, he wasn't very tall, part of his face was covered in bandages, he was missing an arm and barely seemed to be able to stand.
"Here Mr. Bloom" she handed him a glass and helped him put the flowers on the small table next to his bed. I didn't understand who this person was.
"I asked you a question" I repeated, he took a lock of Leila's hair in his fingers.
"My Lana had the same hair color, that same unique fiery fire" said the old man smiling.
"Mr. Bloom, you'd better go back to your room, you're not feeling well."
"this morning or rather yesterday, when I heard we were to be brought to this district I begged a soldier to bring me the brightest flowers he could find, I knew he would fulfill a dying man's wish" he half smiled "I couldn't come to see her without giving her her flowers"
"Mr. Bloom," the nurse repeated again. Something told me I knew him, but I didn't know where.
"You come from district 8, right? Did you know her?" I asked.
"She is my only granddaughter.
"Excuse me? Leila never told me that..."
"Because she never knew," he interrupted me "poor Jane, in her panic she made horrible decisions, and all her mistakes were paid by my sweet baby" he said looking at Leila.
"How so?"
"Leila's mom came from a family of merchants, her parents were very good people, they always helped those they could, something that had them in the peacekeepers' sights. When Jane got closer to the age of being eligible for reaping, her father was very scared and urged her family to flee the district." the old man sighed sadly "they were quickly captured and executed, only sparing the girl's life. At only 9 years old she lost everything and ended up living in the orphanage" I could get an idea of the horrible life she lived, orphanages were horrible places, children were beaten, starved and forced to do unpleasant jobs. "She met my Eric when they started school and since then they became inseparable, they loved each other so much. As soon as they both came of age they got married, and a year later Leila was born.
She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen, she inherited her mother's eyes and her grandmother's hair. But that smile was my son, she was the most giggly and cheerful baby. My son worked hard to make sure they lacked for nothing but well when you are not from the merchant class, money is even harder to come by. A month after her second birthday there was an explosion at the factory, Eric and Lana died," said the old man in a restrained voice, "I only lost an arm, and with that my pay went down. Jane went into a deep depression and anguish not knowing what to do. I told her that I would help her but the fear of taking care of the child alone was greater. While Jane loved her daughter, she was never ready to be a mother. Only a few months later she accepted the butcher's proposal. That disgusting man had been after her since she was just a child."
"Why didn't Leila know about this? She thinks he's her father," I said in dismay.
"because the bastard bribed the district authorities so he could adopt her. I could do nothing, and Jane naively believed she was securing the future for both of them. But all she did was hand Leila over to a monster. I was always trying to sneak up on her. That animal beat her day in and day out. My poor little baby girl, even though she was covered in bruises, never lost that sweet smile and good heart" I remembered where I 'knew' this man from.
"You're the man who gave her the cupcake for her birthday, right? the one who gave her, her favorite flowers every spring" he smiled sadly and nodded.
"she never stood a chance against them" a couple of tears rolled down his cheeks "when I knew she was safe here, I thought she would finally be okay. I never thought that..." he sobbed "if my Eric knew all they had done to his poor baby, he would turn in his grave" a fit of coughing overtook him almost making him fall over, the nurse managed to catch him in time and I rushed over with the wheelchair.
"you better rest Mr. Bloom, tomorrow if you want you can come back".
"Take care of her," he whispered between coughs.
"I promise" I said before the nurse took him away.
Leila Bloom. That was her real name. For that reason Bob Brighlock never showed any mercy to Leila, she was just a bargaining chip for him. I couldn't help but feel pity and anger at the same time against Leila's mom, if she hadn't decided to fall into the clutches of that rascal, maybe Leila would have had a much happier life.