HAYMITCH
It was a terrible idea. I couldn't believe the turn the conversation in the dining room had taken. These past two weeks Leila seemed to be back to being that bubbly woman from before again; I was afraid this was a regression in her progress. As soon as Leila got up from the table Peeta and I followed her. It wasn't too hard to guess where she would go: the kitchens.
"I guess if I'm going to get busy this afternoon, I might as well start getting some work ahead for dinner" she said before either of us could say anything.
"I guess you're right, I'll go get some more potatoes" Peeta answered her, giving us some privacy in the midst of so many people working here.
"Can I talk to you in private?"
"I'll go help the kid," Chase said behind me.
"I'm fine, Haymitch" she sighed tiredly approaching me.
"you don't have to if you don't want to. Don't feel guilty about what Johanna told you, I'm sure if you back out right now she won't be mad."
"I know," she looked away, "I can try, I'm fine." Yes, Leila had made incredible progress, but that didn't stop her condition from still being fragile. At several times during the day she would unexpectedly suffer uncontrollable crying episodes, or, sometimes she would just stand silently staring into nothingness hugging herself; the doctor said that this response to her trauma was normal. I knew she was trying hard to pretend everything was fine so I wouldn't worry, but she couldn't fool me.
"Will you talk it over with Aurelius?" The mention of the shrink earned me an angry look but she nodded reluctantly. "I have to go to command now but I'll come see you as soon as I'm free and I'll be there for 'training' okay?"
"I don't need you to supervise me like a child" I tried not to be offended by her words.
"I don't, let's just say I'm curious" she rolled her eyes and half smiled.
" whatever you say"
"See you later dear" I said goodbye, winking at her. Before I could open the door she caught up to me and gave me a quick kiss.
"See you later," she smiled and I knew she wasn't mad anymore.
The meeting in command as usual was long and boring. However, the appearance of our Mockingjay caused a general over-excitement in the room, especially when she was the bearer of such good news. Yeah, apparently the dream of using Leila was coming true for Plutarch.
"Cressida, could you go with your team and get some shots of this training?"
"ahem" I cleared my throat "I don't think that will be necessary, I highly doubt she will accept the team, especially when this is a private training."
"Haymitch, it'll just be a few videos, she won't have to do anything else"
"Not unless she wants to."
"Maybe soldier Abernathy is right. Depending on how events unfold, we could send the team out to do their shots. however , Boggs ?" interjected Coin.
"Yes, president?"
"supervise the training" I was about to complain when she beat me to it "considering Miss Brightlock's volatility, I would prefer to ensure the safety of our precious mockingjay. Will you agree?" The warning alarm sounded in my head.
"how can I oppose those arguments?" I said 'sweetly'.
The long-awaited time came and I went straight to the training room. I didn't expect the assigned place to be this big. The place had a couple of bleachers on the sides and the training field was about 1 mile square. I took a spot in the bleachers next to Boggs, Chase and Finnick.
"I didn't know you were invited too, Odair."
He smiled at me amused. "I'm not but I was curious and I had a slight feeling that Johanna and Katniss are going to take a beating today."
"I bet you my food that..." started Chase excitedly.
"Let's hope this experiment ends without mishap" Boggs cut him off. "you got everything you need Leila?". She was a little farther away from us in front of a table with some black bags and other smaller bags.
"Yes, thank you," she said with a frown. Katniss and Johanna finally made their appearance, one looking more enthusiastic than the other. They both gave us an exasperated sidelong glance and headed straight for Leila.
"So what are we going to start with ? hand-to-hand combat ? Ways to attack a target or use weapons ?" asked Johanna enthusiastically. Apparently she was coming with more energy than I had seen her at lunchtime.
Leila barely suppressed her smile "well if you don't mind first I'd like to know your running record. You just have to run around the field as fast as you can and from there we will decide how we are going to start, do you agree?" both confused nodded and with stopwatch in hand Leila took the lap times of both of them.
"Ok done, now what is going to be the strategy?" said Johanna, still catching her breath.
"Run," replied Leila simply.
"run" repeated Johanna confused.
"run? that's it? that's the big secret of the 'great Leila Brightlock'" sneered Katniss.
"The brainless is right. You can come up with something better or just tell us straight up that you don't want to do it, Brightlock" replied Johanna angrily.
"What kind of training do you expect from me? if it's to learn how to fight or how to use a weapon any soldier can teach you that."
"So if I understand correctly, your strategy is to teach us how to run away?" returned Katniss to the attack.
"To survive, Katniss" replied Leila in a somber tone "what's waiting for you in the capitol is nothing compared to the games. You think you'll always have a bow and arrows once you're there? Did they promise you that?" she pointes with her head at Boggs "Snow will be waiting for you and if you thought the games were unfair, it will be nothing compared to what you'll see there" both girls, as well as us, were mesmerized listening to her, it was obvious that she knew what she was talking about.
"I don't see how just running is going to get us anywhere" muttered Johanna frustrated.
"It's not just running, it's also knowing how to do it and being agile at the same time" Leila for a moment looked at the ceiling and then awkwardly continued "Don't take this personal girls but you two look like a couple of cows running. You make an atrocious noise, if we were in absolute darkness right now I'd still know where to find you and hit my target" I couldn't help but laugh at the horrible comparison.
"Why don't you come and laugh near me Abernathy" Johanna challenged me.
"Maybe I was wrong and the one who's going to get a beating is you Haymitch" Finnick said laughing.
"nah! just childish threats"
A couple more questions about their weight, Leila set to work filling three sacks with the smaller bags.
"You don't agree with this, do you?" asked Katniss softly to Leila.
"I don't agree with sending children to war," Leila replied in the same tone.
"I'm not a child" Katniss began to protest.
"you are! your life should be different, your worries should be what color dress to wear or knowing if the boy you like feels the same way about you".
"don't worry, she wonders that last one, every night" Johanna mocked.
Leila let out a breath "I understand Johanna and Finnick's anger, but you are lucky Katniss, everyone you love and love you, is here safely and you are taking them for granted, if I were you I'd spend every moment with them"
"I'm not taking them for granted, I'm protecting them," said Katniss earnestly.
I could understand the point of view of both, on the one hand Leila had lost everyone she had ever loved and I know she would give anything to spend a single moment again with her sister and even her mother, but Katniss's fury and hunger for justice for all those who died so vilely for the amusement of a few had to be repaid in some way. No one said anything else and Leila went on with her task.
"What's in the bags?" asked Finnick.
"Sand or rocks" replied Chase.
"Sand" said Boggs
"it won't be so bad, at least they won't have bruises".
"do you know this exercise?" asked Finnick again
"Yes, it's a base exercise for endurance and strength. We usually only do it the first year of training, when we're 14."
"Leila do you have an extra sac? I'll do it too" she looked for a moment confused at the boy but then nodded. "I weigh 80 kg. How many sandbags for me?"
Leila pondered for a few moments "just a quarter of your weight and add as they do the hand and foot weights. In total you will have 24kg on you, that will be enough."
"That's all? I can handle more, you forget I've been training longer than them.
Come on, I'll put on at least 40 kg" with amusement dancing on her face Leila just shrugged her shoulders.
"Well, now, you'll just have to do 5 laps of the room and that'll be all for today."
"Only 5?" asked Katniss incredulously.
"We've run more than that today" Johanna supported her.
"Yes, I know. But this time you have extra weight and I'm not asking you to run to warm up but as if your lives depend on it, at the same time keeping your mouths shut and your heavy and noisy feet in silence" I covered my mouth so I wouldn't burst out laughing again. How I adored sassy Leila. Without another complaint, Johanna and Katniss started to run as Leila had asked them to.
"I think for today I'll start with 10 laps" Finnick said and unexpectedly Leila burst out laughing and followed by that, next to me I heard the discreet laughter of Chase and Boggs.
"Go for it," she replied, still laughing. At first I didn't get the joke until Katniss and Johanna finished the first lap and their speed was getting slower and slower not to mention they both looked pale. The task she had asked of them to be as quiet as possible was only getting worse, even from my position it was evident. At one point I saw Leila follow them from behind and help them continue by pushing them from behind; by the third lap Leila gave up the exercise. The only one still running around the field was Finnick and although he didn't look as bad as the girls, I was more than sure he wouldn't finish the 10 laps.
"I think I'm going to throw up," said Katniss, looking greenish.
"raise your arms, take slow, deep breaths" Leila advised her "ah! here's help".
In the distance Prim was coming closer with ice cold compresses for them. While Leila was helping Johanna, Prim was taking care of her sister, looking at her with concern "you're overexerting yourself, Kat".
"I'm fine, little duck" she replied softly.
"6! I've completed 6" Finnick said breathlessly, taking a compress offered by Prim.
"Maybe tomorrow they can lower the intensity, don't you think Leila?" said Prim
"If they don't improve their times by the end of the week, then there's nothing I can do to help them."
"There's something I agree with them, Leila, what's the point of being quiet...anyway as soon as we set foot in the Capitol, Snow will be the first to know, the most important thing is to be prepared to fight whatever he's going to send our way."
"yes and no. Not always his attacks will come from the part of peacekeepers or will be biological weapons, in which I agree with you no matter how silent you are, but there are things...there are mutts that you won't want to face and being as stealthy as possible will make the difference between life and death."
"What do you mean?" asked Johanna paying full attention; she wasn't the only one, Boggs was concentrating on her words, this was the main objective for which Coin had sent him.
"to mutts, Jo. I'm guessing they are as lethal as the ones in the games." answered Finnick
"no, worse" sighed Leila, pinching the bridge of her nose "the mutts created for the games are created to obey and the creatures that protect the capitol are created to annihilate everything in their path: friend or foe. The only way to survive them is to avoid them at all costs or use their weaknesses against them and even then I'm not sure it will work"
"What weaknesses?" asked Katniss.
"the vast majority were created with a sensory deficiency such as taste, smell, hearing although for the most part they are usually blind, but don't trust yourself just because they have a weakness, it means their other senses are exponentiated and not to mention that for the vast majority they are extremely fast with almost impenetrable skins"
"So fighting is not an option. That's why you're forcing them to run?" interjected Boggs
"I'm not forcing anyone to do anything," Leila replied irritably.
"This is very valuable information. What else do you know about what we may face out there?"
What I feared most was happening, this training was going to turn into a quiz against what Leila possibly did or didn't know. "I don't know anything! and I'm only talking about assumptions" she answered defensively.
"Enough of this chatter. So tomorrow at the same time, dummie?" abruptly Johanna changed the subject. "don't look at me like that, don't even think I'm going to give up, tomorrow I will complete this stupid exercise, today you just took by surprise"
With that last warning from Johanna, we each went our separate ways. Boggs, I figured, would go to present his report of what happened to Coin, Katniss left with Prim, Finnick would go with Annie and Johanna left followed by Chase's annoying taunts. Leila and I headed to our room; the whole way she was silent, lost in her thoughts.
"You just have to refuse. No one is going to hold it against you."
"I want to do it for Johanna"
"but you don't have to and even less if it's at your expense."
she bit her lower lip with a worried expression "I want to help, I don't want to be selfish but there are things that I don't..."
"shh you don't have to say anything. You're not being selfish, quite the opposite Leila and Johanna understands" I pulled her into my arms but only a few moments later laughing softly she stirred to get free .
"Haymitch I've been running around, I look like crap".
"I don't think so, I've seen worse" I laughed too.
"like what... no, forget it I don't want to know. I'd better go take a shower"
Still in a good mood I threw myself on the bed and grabbed one of my books while Leila took her shower. Although I feared this day would end badly, I was relieved that it would not. Maybe tomorrow with a little luck I could convince Coin that Boggs' presence was useless in training, however I saw it as difficult, after the information that had escaped Leila.
"Haymitch?" I was so focused on my thoughts that I didn't notice that Leila had emerged from the bathroom, barely wrapped in a towel, something she had never done.
"Well, I guess I'll go change for bed" I said out of nervousness jumping out of bed in the direction of the closet, awkwardly I grabbed my pajamas and could feel Leila's gaze following me. as soon as I turned around she was there in front of me mere inches away. "I'll let you change while I do it in the bathroom."
"Wait," she asked.
"Is something wrong...?" she silenced me with a kiss. I froze instantly. Not because of the kiss but because I felt her hands unbuttoning my overalls. I gently stopped her and pulled away from her.
"Don't you want me?" The question caught me off guard. I don't know what ideas this woman was getting and for her to think that was crazy but I felt that to continue would be to take advantage of her.
"Leila I..."
"no, it's okay, I understand" dodging my gaze, her eyes filling with tears, she pulled back. I understood immediately and drew her to me before she pulled away. With my heart pounding in my ears and seeing that look of pain, I understood that if I rejected her at this instant Leila would take it as a reaffirmation of those words I once said. Maybe she could have forgiven me but that didn't mean that she had forgotten, I was sure that my words were tattooed in her memory.
"I'm not rejecting you but you don't have to do any of this."
"I know, but I want to. I love you, Haymitch" she didn't wait for a retort from me, she leaned in again and trapped my lips between hers. I felt dizzy and overwhelmed by her words, I wasn't sure how to feel. It had been so many years since someone had said those words to me. Just as I felt her hands on my bare skin, trying to remove my overalls, I came back to reality being more aware of myself and what was going on.
"Wait a minute dear" I said with bated breath. She looked at me confused as I ran one of my trembling hands through her hair "there is no hurry and if at any time you want to stop just give me a sign".
"I don't want to stop."
"promise me" I begged "there will be no recriminations or anything like that Leila. If I hurt you even the slightest bit you have to tell me."
"I promise"she said. I kissed her slowly, taking my time to calm down. I couldn't remember feeling, in this way, as intimidated as I did at this moment. I wanted to run away, my nerves were consuming me, my hands were shaking, and this time I was sure it wasn't because of withdrawal. A fleeting thought crossed my mind to turn off all the lights, but I was sure she would hate it and deep down I would too. Being able to see what was around me, was the only thing that calmed my constant fears. But oh hell! I hadn't slept with anyone since Cassie, I didn't know if my friend down there still remembered what it was like to be with a woman, and if that wasn't my only problem, my looks were. I wanted to make myself invisible or a little more attractive in her eyes!
I had never been more concerned about how I looked than I was right now. Years of self-abuse had not gone by without leaving their mark. Even though I had lost weight in this filthy place I was still paunched, ugly and old. Leila could do better, she deserved better. I was taking a step back when she dropped her towel. I stared at those emeralds and as if she read my mind she replied "I love you Haymitch and I trust you completely. There is no one else I would rather share this moment with, than you" I barely nodded at her words and kissed her softly again.
Slowly I got rid of my overalls and we approached the bed again. I silently promised myself that I would give my all to make this moment unforgettable for her. I would worship every inch of her body as the most sacred thing I had ever held in my arms.
I traced a path of kisses with my lips from her jaw to her earlobe. As soon as the first sigh of pleasure escaped her lips, and her knees gave out, knocking us both onto the bed, I continued my exploration of her neck, stopping at the mole that adorned it and that I knew would make her moan. She pulled me to take my lips frantically but I gently clasped her wrists above her head with one of my hands "What's the hurry, darling? we have all night" I quietly chuckled returning to that same place that drove her crazy.
I did not take long to continue my descent stopping at her breasts, while with my lips I devoured one of her cusps with my hand I caressed the other and vice versa. I did not stop until they were swollen and reddened from my touch. Leila for her part entangled her hands in my hair and between moans she kept repeating my name; feeling more confident I knelt between her legs. I kissed her thighs up and down, always playfully approaching her delicious pussy, this teasing game made her breathless and made her writhe with pleasure on the bed "please Haymitch" she begged me and I didn't need any other order than that. I became intoxicated with that sweet elixir, I drank like a thirsty man in the middle of the desert.
I took one of my hands to her venus mount caressing it and with the other I took one of her breasts, Leila arched her back in pleasure and I accelerated even more what I was doing and with a last strangled moan I received my reward, her sweet honey cum in my mouth.
As she recovered I traced my kissing path back to her lips, she wrapped her legs around my waist drawing me in and with a passionate look she nodded again, giving me that consent to continue. However I didn't want it to be like that, I wanted to give her full control of the decision, so I turned us around leaving her on top of me. She drew me back to her lips; sitting in this embrace of limbs, she slowly and torturously lowered her hips, thrusting me into her.
"Fuck!" I blurted out dropping onto my back.
"Is it okay like this?" Leila asked me uneasily
"I could happily die right now" I said stiflingly concentrating on not coming, she let out a giggle biting her lip . My answer seemed to give her the encouragement to continue her movements with her devilishly hot hips and I for my part felt like I was in paradise. There was nothing in this earthly world more important than this woman "Leila, Fuck this feels so good" I released one of my hands from her hip and brought it to her clit, rubbing and playing with it.
"Oh like that, Haymitch. Don't stop" she moaned, speeding up her movements. This was fucking glory! I knew I wasn't going to last long, so I sat back down wrapping my arm around her waist and with the other tangling in her hair, giving me access to her luscious neck
"Come with me, my darling" I moaned. A few more thrusts and we both touched the top. Still trying to catch our breath we stayed in the same position; Leila laid her head on my shoulder while I traced uneven shapes with my hands on her bare back and showered soft kisses on her shoulder. Everything seemed so perfect that it wasn't long before I noticed my damp neck and Leila's ragged breathing. SHE WAS CRYING! "Oh no Leila. I hurt you" I sentenced. Damn it! I knew this was not a good idea, how the hell could I take advantage of her? I tried to break away but she hugged me even tighter, keeping me from moving from the same position.
"don't leave me" she begged
"I won't Leila. I'm sorry I didn't mean to hur..." she pulled her head away from my shoulder to look me straight in the eyes.
"you don't understand, Haymitch" she sobbed "you didn't hurt me at all. This is how it should have happened the first time, with the person I love, not with... "her voice broke again. That's when I understood, she was remembering those sons of bitches who raped her.
"Hush, darling. Don't think about it," I tried to calm her down, kissing her wet cheeks.
"I wish I could erase it..." she abruptly shut up "I'm so sorry Haymitch, I'm ruining this moment right?" she pounced on my lips in a desperate kiss.
Softly I pulled her away from me "you don't have to apologize for anything and no, you're not ruining anything Leila. Don't ever feel guilty for feeling what you are feeling, at least not with me" I pulled her back into my arms trying to comfort her and soothe the guilt she was feeling. "It's late already, why don't you try to get some sleep? I guess you'll accompany Katniss and Johanna to training early tomorrow morning?" she nodded with a half smile and her eyes still bathed in tears.
Awkwardly and without another glance at each other we got out of bed and each respectively put on our pajamas. The night passed as quickly as the blink of an eye; Leila had slept peacefully, for which I was grateful, but I had not been able to shake this feeling of guilt and insecurity for the new day to come. I wondered if she would regret and reproach me for taking advantage of her, I was sure she would hate me. Like a coward, as soon as I felt her stirring to get up, I pretended to sleep. I heard her take her things from the closet and go to the bathroom.
I let out a desolate sigh and gathered my courage to face whatever was coming, I deserved it. I half sat up in bed, picked up one of my knees and waited for her to come out of the bathroom. As soon as she came out of the bathroom her face upon seeing me quickly went from surprise to distress.
"I thought you were sleeping, did I wake you up?"
"no, I couldn't sleep anymore, it's not new" I shrugged downplaying it.
She came over sitting next to me still with a frown on her face "Haymitch?" Here came what I was waiting for.
"mmh?"
"You're mad at me, aren't you? Because of last night" I opened my mouth like a moron at her question.
"me? mad? Are you crazy?!" I wanted to punch myself for that last question, although I was thankful she hadn't taken it seriously "I don't know where you get that I'm mad. Worried maybe" I said nervously.
"You look so serious" she said simply "why are you worried then?"
"because of you! I thought you were regretting it or what do I know" I mumbled feeling the heat on my cheeks.
Her body let out the air and she immediately relaxed "not at all" she said letting out a giggle looking at me amused. This only made me feel even more embarrassed and I didn't even know exactly why.
"fine! I'll go back to sleep then" I laid down on the bed and turned my back to her.
"How grumpy you are in the morning!" she laughed again, I didn't answer her "will I see you at lunch?"
"I don't know, it depends" I turned and looked at her seriously. Two of us could play this game.
"It depends on what?" She looked at me uneasily. I took my time to answer, still keeping my serious expression. Without warning I grabbed her arm and pulled her to my chest. She let out a surprised squeal, I chuckled.
"of whatever's for lunch." Leila let out a laugh, and settled better on top of me.
"That's all you're interested in?" I nodded laughing "well I'm sorry to disappoint you but as far as I know the menu is already chosen and it's not stew" she gave me a peck on the lips.
"I thought you had connections in the kitchens."
"not as much as you think and today's menu is sponsored by your mentee and Finnick. Apparently some poor deer crossed their paths."
"Doesn't sound so bad."
"yeah but the preparation was chosen by one of the cooks from 13 against all of Sae's protests" she said scoffing
"oh no! they're going to ruin a good thing" I grumbled.
"don't be a baby, it's not that bad, if you come for lunch, maybe and I'm not promising anything, I can steal some of the preparations Peeta is experimenting with for the wedding. what do you think?"
"that you're still liking that stealing thing" I teased, she childishly stuck her tongue out at me 'offended' "but I accept your noble and corrupt offer" I leaned in to kiss her lips. knock knock! "how opportune the damned soldier!"
"rude" she giggled, gave me one last chaste kiss on the lips and with a leap left the bed "see you later then and try to get some sleep."
As soon as Leila left the room I breathed easy. She wasn't upset and seemed fine...everything seemed fine. Following her orders I forced myself to sleep and just before noon I was awakened by the hateful vibration of my communicuff. Shit! Meeting in command, that meant I wouldn't be in for lunch.
On my way to command I crossed paths with one of the women working in the kitchen, so I took the opportunity to let Leila know that I would not be at lunch because of the damn command meeting. As I always expected in these kinds of meetings, nothing extraordinary happened, just chatter about future plans and boring propos organizations. We were at an impasse with the capitol, neither side was doing anything and it was frustrating.
"Boggs informed me that yesterday's training went by without incident" Coin snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Indeed" I said curtly, I wasn't sure how much Boggs had shared with Coin.
"However our dear friend still seems reticent about all this" I shrugged in response "I assume there will be new training today?"
"so I hear"
"well, Cressida's team will be doing some shooting today"
"president Coin if I may, I consider that we should wait a couple of more days and observe how this 'training' progresses as I well informed you, yesterday the girls only limited themselves to running with the minimal participation of Miss Brightock, the shots would not be very different from the ones already taken these days in the morning training" Boggs interjected. I had a faint suspicion that he had not been entirely honest with the president. That was interesting.
The training issue was finally put on the back burner when Plutarch suggested we focus again on Finnick's wedding. This was planned as a distraction for the people in the capitol, just days before the final attack, and as a symbol of hope for the districts. How horrible that Annie and Finnick had to put themselves through this circus.
The discussions continued this time covering the large number of infants orphaned by the last bombings and what would be their fate, the orphanages were overflowing, not to mention that they were also taking in pregnant women who had lost their husbands in this war.
"Poor creatures will be born in the middle of a tragedy, it's a shame to bring children in these conditions" I heard Fulvia mutter next to me. A shiver ran through my body as something clicked in my head; Leila and I did not use protection! When we finally had a break from this useless chatter, I took the opportunity to escape and go see Leila. It didn't take me long to find her, she was on her way out of the shrink's office.
"I missed you at lunch" she whispered against my lips, hugging me.
"I guess without me it was boring" I replied trying to hide my nervousness.
"not really" she smiled "Johanna and Chase got into a heated argument about fights and guns and I don't know what else. It all ended up in that she was going to kick his ass, with the miraculous and lethal techniques, which apparently I'm obligated to teach her today" I chuckled.
"what a pain in the ass she is"
"no it's not! Besides, Chase started it. "she backed her as usual.
"ok if you say so! and by the way, did I miss any of Peeta's delicious preparations?"
"yeah he was making some kind of ganache I think he called it like that".
"oh hell! That would have been nice. Fucking Command!"
"don't be too sorry, even if you had been at lunch I wouldn't have been able to bring any, as soon as Peeta found out it was for you he assured me that he'd poison it" she shrugged not giving it a thought "I guess he's still a little bit mad at you"
"you guess right" I smirked dismissively "although it would have been worth the poisoning"
"Haymitch don't say that!" putting aside the amusement I took a deep breath thinking how to approach the subject "is something wrong?"
"I wanted to talk to you about something that must have gone through my head before, and I'm not holding you responsible for anything but last night we didn't...we didn't protect ourselves" I finished whispering.
"I know" she answered me letting out a relieved breath "you scared me I thought it was something worse" I stared at her with my mouth open "before you get upset, yes, it's serious it would be horrible, I know that better than anyone but I had thought about it before" she blushed "a few days ago I had asked at the infirmary for contraceptives, I was embarrassed to tell you. I didn't want you to think poorly..."
I let out a sigh of relief "I don't think anything" I interrupted her "in fact I am thankful that you are much more cautious than I am. I'm sorry I wasn't more responsible."
"Never mind. That's all you were looking for me for?" she pouted.
"Something like that I guess" I was mesmerized watching her lips.
"You hurt my ego"
"What can I do to repair it?"
"kiss me" she ordered
"How bossy you are" I whispered against her lips before kissing her passionately. I felt her cold hands under my shirt and shivered at the contact, wanting more of her. Command could wait, now I just wanted Leila. Unexpectedly I felt a strong blow to my head.
"aouch!" Leila whined at the same time with me rubbing her head.
"Are you idiots done, slobbering at each other yet?!"
"Johanna, that wasn't nice," Leila reprimanded her.
"I wonder if maybe we should have left you at the capitol" I said sarcastically, which earned me an amused chuckle from Johanna
"Haymitch don't say that!" Leila scolded me.
"What a crybaby you've become Abernathy! Keep it up and Leila will have to go visit you at the daycare".
"And what's with all the adorable interruption?"
"with your sweetie here we have 'sunshine hour' now, so I came to take her with me."
"Oops I forgot"
"I wonder why" Johanna rolled her eyes "anyway, where's the good for nothing of your guard...isn't he supposed to be your shadow or you'll get in trouble?"
"he said he'd be waiting for me outside while I was with Aurelius"
"How useless" Johanna shook her head. "Well, are we going or what?"
"yep. Haymitch would you mind ..."
"yeah I'll let him know where you are, go ahead before you lose your turn"
"thanks" Leila caught my cheeks and planted a quick kiss before following Johanna.
"yuck" I heard Johanna groan and Leila giggle.
On my way back to command it didn't take me long to find Chase and pass on the message from the girls. The next few hours in command passed absurdly slowly between meetings with the leaders of districts 1, 10, 9, 2 and 3. Boggs was excused from attendance shortly before training, and I was praying for an end to this ordeal soon.
"I think that will be all for today, tomorrow we will gather districts 4, 7, 8 and 11 to inform them of what we have decided," sentenced Coin ending the meeting.
Almost arriving at the training center I crossed paths with Peeta who was heading there as well. His guards were following him closely as he walked slowly with his hands cuffed in front of him. It was a shame Peeta's guards weren't as relaxed as Chase was with Leila, the poor kid had made great progress. I didn't understand why they wouldn't give him a chance.
"Hey!" I waved at him. He, as usual, ignored me. "Leila told me you were working on a ganache today, you know, for the wedding."
"yeah too bad she didn't want to give you a taste" he looked at me darkly.
"that's what I told her"
"Uhmp"
When we arrived, we were met with the most pathetic scene. Katniss and Johanna sweating profusely reddened and bent over trying to catch their breath. Finnick still running and Annie in the distance cheering him on.
"wow! you look fit, the elite group that's going to kill Snow" I teased, drawing attention from those present, and a beaming smile from Leila.
"and you didn't see them running while Leila forced them to dodge objects as they ran" Chase laughed uncontrollably, earning a furious look from Johanna.
"Be nice Chase, for a second day they are doing great" said Leila "oh Peeta, what are you doing here? don't tell me they are going to force you to train with me too?"
"What does that mean?" I asked, confused, looking at Boggs.
"This morning Lover-boy was at the training, apparently Coin wants to show evidence that he is on our side" Johanna replied sardonically.
"Interesting" I looked accusingly at Boggs who looked away sharply.
"Peeta?" asked Leila again.
"Sae asked me to tell you that she wants to see you as soon as you're done here" he replied running his cuffed hands over his face removing his hair.
"ok! Anyway I'm almost done we'll practice some combat moves and that will be it" he nodded and I looked at Leila surprised.
"Finally after so much insisting we are going to do more than just run" Johanna answered to my unspoken question.
"New look Mellark?" asked Finnick as he ran past us without waiting for an answer.
"You know Peeta, after I'm done with Sae I'll stop by your room tonight and fix this" Leila said, running her hand through Peeta's hair. He stood for a few seconds staring in the direction of Katniss who ignored him looking at a distant point behind the boy.
"As you wish" said Peeta shrugging his shoulders and just walking away.
"Well, shall we start? Are you done Finnick?!" asked Leila cheerfully without giving importance to the boy's strange behavior "How about a woman against woman first? Johanna, are you coming?"
"Hot in my opinion" replied Chase laughing.
"Soldier Woodstock!" Boggs called him out.
"I share your opinion Chase. Nothing better than a good woman, right?" laughed Johanna and without anyone expecting it, she spanked Leila's ass while winking at Chase.
"Ah! Johanna" complained Leila blushing with embarrassment.
"Wait what? you're not serious, right?" said Chase confused.
"What do you imagine we were doing in 'training' in that room?" replied Johanna suggestively. Which room was she talking about?
"Enough! I'll start with Katniss" said Leila. she approached with a determined step "we'll start with offensive moves and from there we'll correct. I want you to attack me and..." the fist straight to Leila's face was not long in coming, not only that, Katniss didn't stop there. It was fortunate that Leila was not a rookie and dodged every punch in a timely manner and in less than a blink of an eye she had Katniss pinned in the same position as that day in the quarter quell only this time her hand was pinned on her throat. We had all stood up from the bleachers ready for whatever happened next "I think little bird, that before you try to fly you need to learn a thing or two" said Leila between her teeth furiously releasing Katniss.
"It's my turn, I'm not an easy prey like the brainless one" interjected Johanna calming the mood. A couple more dirty looks from the two girls, the incident was forgotten and the class continued. What was Katniss playing at? What was her goal in provoking Leila like that?
The training finally ended and everyone filed out of the room. Leila, Chase and I stayed behind to organize the place.
"Hey Leila, what Johanna was saying was a joke, right?" asked Chase, faking disinterest.
"I don't know what you mean"
"Well, you and Haymitch sleep together."
"we share a room" Leila corrected him "and that was because Aurelius didn't allow me to share with Johanna, you know that" Chase looked at me confused
"Come on Haymitch, you two are together, aren't you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about "I said, confused, playing along.
"So all this time you and Johanna...?" he left the sentence unfinished.
Leila let out a sigh looking at the ceiling "if only she didn't care so much about what people say" she shook her head 'sadly' "well we'd better hurry Sae is waiting for me. I guess I'll see you later Haymitch "I nodded trying to control my laughter. Chase said nothing and followed her silently, how cruel they both were to the poor soldier.
I went straight to the room. Taking advantage of the fact that she was going to be late, I took the first turn in the shower. When I finished I made myself comfortable and took the new book I had checked out from the library. This time I had indulged myself by choosing a book about politics and society in ancient times. I was bored of reading about psychiatry without getting answers.
A couple of hours later Leila arrived and went straight to take her shower. Once in her pajamas she threw herself into my arms settling into my chest.
"That meeting with Sae must have been exhausting," I mumbled.
"Not much honestly, she just asked me to get there earlier tomorrow, we're getting new supplies and they need all the help they can get, to organize it in the kitchens and stuff."
"doesn't sound like a very fun job, you could have skipped it, you know?" she let out a chuckle
"I don't like to slack off"
"Are you implying that I do?"
"how touchy you are"
"That answer is not a no. I'm offended" I poked her in the ribs making her laugh "if the old lady didn't keep you that long what took you so long? I have to worry like Chase?'
"ha ha ha. You know I regretted lying to him, the poor guy was as serious as I've ever seen him. After visiting Peeta, I had to admit that I was joking but I didn't know anything about Johanna's likes and dislikes" I chuckled .
"I think Johanna just likes Johanna".
"maybe"
"How was Peeta? still figuring out how to poison me?" I snorted
"Actually not so good"
"How so?" all my mood disappeared.
"He's a little perturbed with the whole going to training thing. You know, Katniss is there too, and well the whole atmosphere itself triggers him"
"has he talked it over with the shrink?"
"I don't know, I didn't want to push him more, I know how much he wants to help and get back to his old self but it's not easy in these circumstances."
"I'll talk to Coin, I'll tell him to take him out of training."
"No! Leave him Haymitch, if I'm telling you this is so that you are aware of it not so that you take away his chance to prove himself. Besides it's impossible for anything bad to happen or for him to attack Katniss, with all those soldiers hanging around training. Tomorrow he's going to take the day off, at least he's not obligated to attend every day. In the morning I'll go see how it goes."
"It's frustrating to watch without being able to do more for him."
"I know.
"I didn't thank you for not beating up Katniss."
"I don't know what her problem is. At times she seems almost nice and then... "she huffed without finishing her sentence. I had a sneaking suspicion of what her problem was but I found her reactions ridiculous.
"Yeah, She has a lovely character.
"Anyway, none of that matters now" she lifted her head to look at me and climbed on top of me.
"really?" I whispered softly, she shook her head and with a mischievous smile pressed our lips together.
To say I didn't want to and could resist was a fat fucking lie. I was just a fucking man with burning desire for this woman. The clothes started to get in the way and within minutes, I was tracing every unexplored corner of Leila's body with my lips.
"Oh Haymitch continue" moaned Leila arching her back. Her hands buried themselves in my back pushing me even harder against her. Each thrust was a step closer to paradise. With a final guttural grunt I fell into her arms exhausted.
"I'm going to die of a heart attack one of these days" I mumbled rolling to the side so I wouldn't continue to crush her, I could hear her breathing hitching in sync with mine.
"Ditto" she laughed "I didn't know this could be so..good."
"just good?" I asked offended "give me a few minutes and you'll think it's extraordinary" that only made her laugh even more. She moved closer against my body and rested her head on my chest. We stayed this way enjoying a comfortable silence, I played with her hair until I was overcome with curiosity "what are you thinking about?"
"how long will this calm last" she whispered
"not long" I admitted in spite of myself "then there will be chaos but if everything we have fought for works out, there will only be calm in Panem"
"it's hard to imagine such a scenario"
"not for me. I imagine you going back and forth" I felt her smile against my skin.
"Really?"
"yep, I picture you in 7, surely Johanna will give you the tour of the place and I think I heard that Finnick and Annie have also invited you to their home" she nodded " you see, you're going to lack time with so many trips" I thought that last one would make her laugh but she kept silent.
"If I travel to the 12th, will you give me an inn too?" she whispered. The very thought of her seeing the hovel I lived in, horrified me and I was sure it'd horrified her too.
"There's nothing left of the 12th to visit."
"yeah I guess" she replied quietly and I realized that wasn't the answer she was expecting
"However if you are so interested in seeing ruins, dust and a huge forest full of wild animals, well, my house is your house" I felt her smile again. I could repair it and make it more decent for Leila, I would let her decorate it to her liking, I didn't care...I shook those thoughts from my mind, I was going too far with my daydreaming. Remembering something Leila had said this afternoon and had me curious, I decided to change the subject "Leila, can I ask you something?"
"yeah."
"You said something this afternoon that caught my attention. I remember one day you told me you wanted to have children, why today you said it would be horrible?"
"because you don't want children and I know what it's like to grow up in a home where your parents don't love you, I would never bring children in those conditions" I was perplexed at her direct and frank answer "I'm not judging you, I understand. I think I understand it today more than ever, this world is too cruel for a child, never mind my selfish desires"
"I'm sorry" was all I could say. She lifted her face and looked me straight in the eyes.
"don't. I didn't answer you because I intended to make you feel guilty, you're always telling me to be honest with you no matter what."
"That's true and I appreciate it, but I don't want you to give up..." she didn't let me continue as she pressed her lips to mine.
"Today you're the one ruining the moment," I huffed laughing
"You bring out my mushy side."
"You think I can bring out your naughty side again?"
"as many times as you want" I replied, throwing myself on top of her in a kiss.
We spent the whole night between sex and banal chats. I didn't know where this chatty side of me had come from, but it was Leila's effect, she always managed to make me talk too much.
"...then every sunday Dad would take us to the Hob, my mother always made up some excuse not to go. Since we didn't see him hardly at all during the week, she wanted us to spend at least one day alone among 'men'"
"How sweet of her. What was he like?"
I didn't have to think about it for a second "funny as anyone. He was always in a good mood, I don't remember seeing him for a single moment sad or worried. He was always calm no matter what the situation".
"Maybe that's how you resemble him," she mused, and I burst into laughs.
"woman, that would be the last adjective I would use to describe myself. I think I brought out his funny side if you want to compare me".
"you're not funny, you're insolent" she rebutted.
"but when Johanna makes some lurid comment that does make you laugh" I claimed, earning more laughter from her.
"don't be jealous, I've had enough with Chase today".
"Yesterday" I corrected her. It was 4 a.m "maybe you should get some sleep" she pressed her appetizing naked body closer to me.
"It's still early" she grumbled with a pout.
"don't you have training this morning?" she shook her head
"I told Chase I wouldn't be going from now on, so I just have to show up with Sae at 9am" she kissed the corner of my lips back and forth, tempting me and turning me on.
"What the hell! Sae can wait too!"
I was awakened by the faint whisper of my name on her lips, I closed my eyes even tighter. I didn't want to wake up, it was the first time in a long time that I was comfortable sleeping. "Haymitch it's time I have to go" I squeezed myself tighter against her body. She caressed my hair "just let me go and you can continue sleeping" I barely opened my eyes, I realized that half of my body was hugging her and my head rested between her breasts.
"I don't want to" I grumbled without moving an inch. I felt her shake with giggles.
"Well, then you will have to explain to the psychiatrist and Coin why I am breaking their rules, I hope they allow you to visit me in prison," she threatened me.
"don't worry, I'll ask them to let us share a cell and that's settled."
"you're impossible!" she said, barely holding in the laughter. Without waiting for it she dug her little fingers into my ribs, tickling me and forcing me to release my grip on her "come on sleepyhead, I have duties to do in case you don't remember".
"The old witch Sae doesn't need you, she can handle herself."
"stop calling her that. And it's not just Sae, remember I promised Peeta I'd be there in the morning, well I think he must be waiting for me and Chase is going to show up at that door any minute".
"Today I can tell you for sure that you are ruining the moment," I huffed. Ignoring my complaints, Leila quickly got up and got ready to leave, and as if fate was hell bent on annoying me this morning, my communicuff started beeping 'command'. great!
"What are you doing up aren't you going to get some more rest?" Leila was coming out of the bathroom fixing her hair in a perfect half updo with a bow.
"not apparently" I showed her my communicuff.
"Well if it does anything to improve your mood, at lunch I promise you a meat and potato stew."
"You know how to make me happy!" I said moving my lips to her neck" did you have to sacrifice something to get the kitchens to give in?"
"Not really" she looked at me mischievously, "but the less you know the better" she winked, she gave me one last peck and went off to fulfill her agenda.
By the time we finished the meeting it was time for lunch, although Leila's promised menu was lifting my spirits, I couldn't help but feel exhausted. As I reached the table and took my place I realized that I was not the only one whose energy had left him. Leila was eating lazily from her plate and Peeta had dark circles under his eyes. The poor kid must have had a horrible night. On the other hand, the other half of the table seemed to have more vitality than ever, Finnick, Johanna and Chase, talking cheerfully, with the fortuitous intervention of Katniss and Annie. Ah! As she had promised the stew was exquisite
"Rough night huh?" asked Finnick to Peeta.
"no, it wasn't. why do you ask?" Leila awkwardly replied with her cheeks flaming. Johanna's gaze lit up and I saw the glimpse of the brief agreement between her and Finnick. Right there I knew she had screwed up, that pair of idiots weren't going to forgive that slip up.
"Thanks for the info but I was asking Peeta" the boy just shrugged his shoulders without answering.
"Oh Peeta, I should have let you sleep in more this morning," Leila regretted. I heard Katniss snorted noisily beside me.
"So Leila did you do something fun last night?" asked Johanna, smiling.
"I don't know what you mean"
"I think little Leila was misbehaving last night," Finnick teased.
"I guess in the company of someone from 12" joined Chase in the game. With each tease, Leila's face, neck and ears were turning a new shade of red. I was grateful for my skin color, I felt like my face was burning too, but it wouldn't do any good for me to say anything or it will just encourage them to continue. Like a coward I became invisible in my place.
"Tell me, is the mining district good in the sack? "Johanna asked mischievously. With a dull slam Katniss stood up angrily from the table and left, although I wanted to know what was bothering her, my concentration was on the redhead they were slaughtering.
The indignation of this group attack was reflected in her face "Peeta are you finished? you know we have things to do".
"no we don't" he contradicted her, making the others burst out laughing. In other times Peeta would gallantly jump in to help a damsel in distress, but not this new Peeta.
"Well, never mind, we're leaving" Leila got up from the table pulling Peeta's arm to bring him with her "you can stay Woodstock, I'll leave with his guards."
"Great, you ruined her lunch," I complained looking at Johanna.
"hey! you didn't finish your tray" Johanna said.
"you can finish it, you'll need all the energy you can get for training tonight anyway!"
"ooh that sounds like a threat" laughed Finnick. Leila didn't turn around and continued on her way dragging Peeta.
"I'm not afraid of your threats, dummie. Bring it all on!" shouted Johanna laughing at her.
"So Haymitch, a busy night huh? "asked Finnick. Now it was my turn
"I don't know, how was Annie's?" I answered in the same tone.
"I slept well Haymitch, thanks for asking" sweetly Annie answered. I wasn't childish enough to mess with her. "I'll be in the front row tonight watching her get your asses kicked" I pointed my spoon at both of them. I quickly finished my plate and with what little dignity I had left I left the table, amidst their childish comments and giggles