HAYMITCH
I tried to take a breath of air but it was impossible, I was drowning. The oppression in my chest only made it harder to think, I tried to shake my arms to get out of this place but it was futile. Then I felt myself falling through the void; a sharp blow on my head woke me up from the nightmare. I blinked several times until I realized where I was. In District 13, in my compartment, on the floor next to my bed, with a pair of eyes staring at me.
"you snowe, it's annoying" it only took me a few seconds to realize who was to blame for now finding me on the floor.
"Did you try to choke me?" I asked in disbelief.
"I shook you and you didn't wespond" the little brat shrugged, without the slightest regret.
"Haymitch what are you doing on the floor?" asked Leila coming out of the bathroom, I looked accusingly at the culprit "did you wake him up, Milly?"
"Nuh uh, he woke himself up," the snotty girl replied 'innocently'.
"yeah, that's what happened" I huffed getting up from the floor. Leila took a deep breath
"Come on, I have to get you ready for school".
"I don't want to," she folded her arms.
"We already discussed it Milly. I have no choice, it's only for a few hours and then Haymitch will come for you, you can see Katniss and Johanna later, what do you think?"
"all wight," she said resignedly.
While Leila was preparing the kid, I went back to bed to try to fall asleep again. I tried not to think about the day ahead of me, I had a feeling that being the little brat's guardian was not going to be an easy task. What the hell was I thinking when I volunteered? Leila.
When the two of them left the room, I was finally able to relax and get some rest. Before lunch I would go check on the girl and then give my report to Leila. With that in mind I got up and headed to where the 'school' of district 13 was supposed to be. More than 15 minutes passed before I finally found Milly's classroom. I peeked through the window in the door looking for her. What I saw made me sick to my stomach. The girl was alone in a corner crying inconsolably, the other children were in their activities ignoring her and from the damned window I couldn't see the damn teacher.
Abruptly I opened the door startling those present, from my side I saw what I assumed was the teacher reddened with rage coming in my direction, at the same time that Milly was running towards me.
"What kind of interruption is this, soldier?!" she reprimanded me, mumbling and leading us out of the classroom.
"and what kind of teacher are you that you don't do anything when one of your students is crying?" I replied in the same tone.
"Hey-Mish" sobbed Milly, hugging my legs holding the bunny rag.
"What happens in my classroom is only my business, and the matter with Miss Brightlock has been settled."
"Well it doesn't look that way to me" I knelt down to the little girl's level "what happened, Milly?"
"Bunny" she sobbed again, showing me her rag with a missing 'ear'.
"It was a dispute between children, it's nothing to cause all this fuss, she has to understand that in this district we are governed by community rules and sharing is part of those rules."
"She doesn't have to share the only thing her mom left her," I said angrily. The teacher pursed her lips.
"Then don't let her bring items that aren't for class use. Now if you'll excuse me I have 15 other children to take care of." the teacher gave Milly a piercing look indicating with her head to come back with her.
"no, she's staying with me until she calms down."
"whatever" The teacher rolled her eyes in exasperation walking back into the room. I squatted back down to Milly's level.
"Come on sweetie, don't cry" I whispered, wiping away her tears.
"Mommy" she whined "I want my Leia now"
"I know, Milly. But she can't come now" If Leila found out about this incident she was going to come running for the girl and the shrink would have no choice but to take harsher measures.
"I want home" she sobbed, taking me by surprise as she hugged me.
"I know" I patted her back softly, what did my mom do when my brother or I were sad? I tried to remember but only memories of her singing came to mind. I couldn't sing, it would only make her cry more. My dad on the other hand sought to get a smile out of us with any nonsense; I didn't have that talent either. "Let me see ' bunny', maybe we can fix it" she moved a little away from me and showed me her ' puppet'. Looking at it closely it didn't look so bad, it reminded me of the toys we used to have in the seam, nothing new always handmade from whatever material we had on hand. Bunny was made from scraps of various fabrics in shades of beige and white, he was missing an eye and now thanks to Milly's damn kid partner, he was also missing an ear. "Do you have the ear?" she nodded, still crying, handing me the scrap that served as an ear "well, it's not too bad, we just need to get a needle and thread. How about I stay with Bunny until you finish your class and then we can go get what we need?" she pouted hugging her bunny. "I know you don't want to leave him but I promise I'll take care of him, okay?" Milly nodded slowly, handing me the stuffed animal.
"He said I was ugly and diwty," she whispered in a broken voice.
"Who the hell said that?!" I was scared to death by Johanna's voice behind me.
"Mica!"
"What are you doing here?" I grumbled
"Leila asked me to take a look if everything was ok, in case you had fallen asleep" I snorted indignantly, O ye of little faith! "Who is this Mica?" Johanna positioned herself next to me.
"A boy. Biwwer and... "her lower lip trembled "he bit me and bit Bunny's little eaw of"' a couple of tears rolled down her cheeks.
"shh kiddo, it's okay let's…"
"no no it's not ok" interrupted Johanna "get those tears off, you're not going to show that little fucker that he hurt you, do you understand me?"
"Johanna what the fuck are you…?" I growled.
"shh Abernathy, don't cut me off. Now, you're going back to that class and if that little vermin messes with you again, you'll warn him just once to leave you alone, but if he continues you're going to take it this way" Johanna grabbed my wrist twisting it until I gasped in pain "see? and you're not going to let go until he cries and begs you at least three times. Do you understand?" the girl nodded dubiously
"Leila says it's wong to huwt."
"Well Leila is not here, it will be our little secret" Johanna winked at her. Milly looked at me worried "Haymitch agrees with me" no, I didn't "right Haymitch?" I felt her nudge me in my ribs "or would you rather they keep hurting her?"
"no, Johana is right, Milly. But defend yourself only if you have to" I scratched my head unsure.
"Okay" Milly took a deep breath, shook off her clothes and with a haughty head walked back into the classroom.
"we became mentors again and even worse, we sent a 5 year old girl to fight" I snapped in frustration "even for us, this is going low Johanna" she chuckled
"first of all, I never said we were good mentors, secondly, you'll agree with me that it's better to be the hunter than the prey and thirdly, you're getting soft, Abernathy"
"when Leila finds out about this she will rip my balls off and if I go down you come down with me" I threatened, that just made her laugh even more.
"Whatever you say! I'll go visit your beloved and inform her that everything is going 'fine'"
While I had counted on spending lunch with Leila, recent events changed my plans. I couldn't sit at the same table, look her in the face and lie to her. Instead I went straight to Beetee's workplace, at least with him I could have a moment of peace, he didn't talk unless it was necessary.
When the time to go get Milly came, I planted myself outside her classroom; kid after kid came out but my kid didn't show up. Suddenly I saw the teacher approaching with a firm step in my direction, by her angry expression, there was a fight. Worse, I saw Milly behind her, with her hair in disarray, dirty and limping, SHE WAS FUCKING LIMPING! Leila was going to kill me, no, she was going to torture me first and then kill me. How horrible did the fight have to be for her to end up in that state?!
"Mr. Abernathy, I hope I only have to give you a single warning. On this grounds we do not breed fighting animals, we teach people, the behavior of student Brightlock is reprehensible. I will not hesitate to make a report of what happened."
"Can I at least know what my defendant is being accused of?" try to play dumb.
"Of attacking a fellow student for no apparent reason."
"He stawted it" whined Milly "and I wawned him not to bother me but he wouldn't listen"
"Isn't he the same boy who ripped an ear off your stuffed animal?" I asked without taking my eyes off the grouchy teacher.
"Yes"
"That is irrelevant! It's not the way to settle a conflict. She could have broken his hand."
"But I guess she didn't. Like you said it's just kid stuff so there's no big deal" I joked shrugging my shoulders.
"Maybe I should talk to her sister" grouchy threatened
"no need, I'll talk to her and the kid" I looked at Milly "you're grounded"
"But but but" stammered Milly incredulously.
"There is no buts now let's go the doctor is waiting for us" I used my firm tone. The teacher gave a half-smile, pleased with my change of attitude. I took the girl by the hand and with a firm step I walked away from the teacher. Once I was in a place with no witnesses, I stopped and stood at the little girl's level "now tell me, did you beat up the bully?" she nodded looking up at me with a pout.
"You punished me" she reproached me
"I only said that to get your teacher off my back. You're not grounded unless she asks you if you are. Now tell me did he hurt you?"
"He was pulling my wittle tails, I told him to stop and he wouldn't listen, so I did what Jo told me to do. I didn't stop until the teachew yelled at me. Mica cwied but didn't come neaw me again all aftewnoon."
"Well done!"
"Hey-mish, Leila gonna be mad at me about Mica?"
"maybe she's going to be mad but not at you...if she finds out, of course."
"You and Jo awe going to have pwoblems then?" I laughed nervously at her question.
"yeah, but no one likes snitches, right?" she denied laughing mischievously
"Can I have your dessewt?" but what the fuck! Was she blackmailing me?
"Is it blackmail?"
"What's bwackmail?" I snorted tiredly.
"Nothing, forget it. You can have Johanna's dessert too!"
"yay!" she winced.
"if the damn boy didn't hurt you why are you limping then?"
"We went outside and I was catching fwowews and I saw some pwetty ones so I wran to catch them and I fell" she showed me her leg. Shit! She had her pants torn and stuck to her knee from the blood "it do nott huwt" she hurried to say.
"I can't take you looking like that to the shrink or to Leila. Come on" I took her in my arms "we'll go for a walk around the hospital first"
"I won't want any mowe shots"
"We'll see what Grace says" I said without promising her anything.
"Whewe's Bunny?" I took her stuffed animal out of my pocket and gave it to her.
"Well, it doesn't look too bad, I don't think she needs stitches, Prim, do you want to take care of cleaning and healing her wound?" said Grace, giving her place to Prim.
"Will it huwt?" pouted the child.
"No, I'll go slow and easy," Prim poked her nose playfully, "Mom, I see Bunny needs a checkup too.
"he had a wittle eaw pulled off today" she stroked the stuffed animal's head
"I think I can fix it, do you still have his ear?" I handed the piece of fabric to Grace "can I?" she asked the doll and took it along with the girl's pants.
"don't worry, mom can sew very well and will make it good as new for you" Prim reassured her.
When Prim finished doing her healing, Grace returned, handed her stuffed animal to Milly, who carefully checked her animal's sewn up ear. "Thank you!" she effusively hugged Katniss' mom.
"you're welcome, honey. Let me help you put your pants on."
"Are you going to training now?" Prim asked me softly.
"no, she has an appointment with the shrink," I whispered.
"oh I see" I shrugged my shoulders without delving any further into the subject
"There you go, ready to go on with the day" Grace stroked Milly's cheek, lifted her up and handed her to me "here she is good as new, Haymitch" she joked. I rolled my eyes, taking my little brat and heading on my way.
"Haymitch!" I turned in Prim's direction ' this new role suits you "I puffed embarrassedly. Mother and daughter burst out laughing.
Once in the shrink's office, she asked the little girl to draw a picture. From time to time she would ask her some trivial question about her age or favorite color. For my part I sat in the back of her office, as she instructed, asking me not to intervene unless she specifically asked me to.
"You know we are all very happy to have you here Milly. I must admit I'm also a little amazed and curious as to how you got to the 11th district" said Loise, the psychiatrist who specialized in children and teenagers.
"we walked thwough a huge fowest"
"wow! and how did you get to this forest?"
"We hid in the house of an old man with no legs," Milly huffed. She guessed it was the same old man, Leila's grandfather.
"You didn't like it there?"
"Uh-uh. we had to hide on the floow undew the floorboawds and not make a sound, it was tiny tiny and we could only go out at night for a couple of houws because the men in uniform would come all the time."
"but you didn't last long there?"
"no, one night a big explosion went off and the old man told us we had to leave," she paused. "Mom took beaw away from me and said he couldn't come".
"Who is bear?"
"my teddy beaw" I heard the pout in her voice. Because of that teddy Leila had thought her sister was dead "then mommy, she took the scissows the old man offered her and cut my wittle haiw and hers too and put that stinky cream on us, she said goodbye to the old man and then hid me in her blouse and ran and ran".
"That must have been really hard on you and your mom" Milly ignored her and concentrated on her drawing. "Tell me, are you happy to meet Leila again?"
"Uh huh. evewything's better when she's around"
"really? how so?"
"Look I'm done" ignoring Loise's question, Milly showed her her drawing and then turned it in my direction, I nodded smiling. Truth be told the scratchy piece of crap wasn't shaped like anything.
"How quick you are, can you tell me who they are?"
"This is mommy, me, Leila."
"very pretty...and these two huge ones, who are they?"
"Tom and Bob."
"Tom is your brother, right?" the little girl nodded 'and Bob is your daddy?' she hesitated and denied. "Do you want to explain?"
"Mommy says that daddies should love their daughters and not scawe them, she said I don't have to call him that if I don't want to."
"And Bob agreed?"
"If Leila was awound, yes, otherwise sometimes he would get angry and other times he would laugh and call me insolent."
"You don't love Bob do you?"
"No, he would hit mom and make her cwy."
"But when Leila was home he wasn't like that, was he?"
Milly hesitated before answering "no, Leila wouldn't allow it, but if Bob got mad he would lock Leila in the basement" the little girl looked around worriedly "awe you going to tell him?"
"No Milly. What we talk about in this room no one outside is going to know I promise" she gave me a look "Haymitch promises too"
"I won't say a word to anyone, not even Leila" I assured her.
"the basement was howwible, thewe was no light and it smelled horrible, Bob liked to take dead wats in there" I felt my stomach churn, how cruel that monster had been to Leila.
"Did he take your mommy there too?"
"no" she whispered "when Leila wasn't home he would fowce mommy into the woom and lock himself in with her, I would hear mommy cwy and beg Bob to stop. I would beg him behind the door too but Tom would get angwy when I did" I shuddered in horror to think what the little girl must have heard.
"Tom wouldn't stand up for Mom."
"Uh-uh. He scawed me more than Bob" she whispered.
"You've been very brave to be able to tell me all this, Milly. Tell me, would you like to go see your sister now?" she nodded ' then let's call the session over for the day."
Without her having to ask I got up from my post and approached Milly stretching out my hand "let's go?"
On our way to the training center, the girl was deathly silent. She walked holding my hand crestfallen, holding her stuffed animal tightly against her chest. What a fucking idiotic idea to send her to that shrink.
"Mish?" she whispered, getting my attention. I stopped dead in my tracks flinching at hearing my nickname after all these years, only my little brother used to call me that.
"Tell me."
"Awe you gonna huwt Leila?"
"What?! No, of course not!"
"you pwomise?" In her eyes I saw how important it was what she was asking, all her short life she had watched the men in her family torture the two people she loved the most.
"I promise, Milly. No one is going to hurt you or Leila ever again."
She stared at me for a few moments longer and then gave me a smile "I have something fow you" she fumbled in her pocket until she pulled out a bouquet of small crushed and battered flowers, she stared at each one and handed me the smallest red one.
"thank you" I chuckled. "I guess the others are for your sister?"
"no, for Peeta," I crooned.
"lucky him" I held back my laughter.
When we arrived at the training Katniss, Finnick, Johanna, Chase and two other soldiers were running around the field. Leila was timing them. Milly let go of my hand and with a squeal of excitement ran off in the direction of her sister. With open arms Leila welcomed the little girl scattering kisses on her face.
"I missed you so much, pumpkin. Tell me, how was your day?"
"it was fine I guess" she avoided Leila's gaze hugging her.
"don't think just because the tadpole is here that we're done, dummy."
"Jo, it wowked what you told me" the little snitch gave her thumbs up. I broke out in a cold sweat.
"What worked?" asked Leila
"My tips for making friends" Johanna quickly replied 'look, there's your boyfriend' she pointed in the direction where Peeta was sitting.
"Peeta, look what I bwought you" stumbling Milly ran in his direction.
"I think I'll go with her" I turned to avoid the suspicious look Leila gave us.
"Good idea Abernathy"
"How are you today boy...I didn't expect to see you here".
"Leila asked me"
"that's good, otherwise you would have missed your present".
Peeta just stared at the crushed flowers, barely with the corners of his lips lifting subtly into a smile. I wanted to say something else when my gaze was distracted again on the kid, I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me. Milly wasn't just clumsy, she had two left feet and an ass magnet to the floor.
"What are you laughing at?" Peeta accused me.
"at her" I pointed to Milly who was again on the floor "even on my worst drunk day I can run better in a straight line than her"
"You give you too much credit, you know?" snorted Peeta.
"maybe" I chuckled
Milly was trying to run behind the group, with very little success, until her sister came up, took her in her arms and said something in her ear that made her pout. An agitated Finnick sat down next to us, followed a couple of minutes later by the others.
"we're getting better eh?" he said smugly.
"I don't think so" I replied
"Yes they have," said Leila, reprimanding me.
"It's a pity there was no training these next two days," Johanna grumbled.
"I don't know why you are complaining, the marriage of your most beloved and beautiful friend should be your priority right now".
"Who said you were my most beloved friend, acquaintance I would say and don't you buy it Odair you are not as beautiful as you boast."
"I do look forward to the marriage," Chase interjected. We all looked at him strangely
"Why?" I asked genuinely curious.
"You've missed a lot these past few days, Abernathy. What is being prepared in the kitchens has never been seen here. Just thinking about the feast makes my mouth drool."
"And you still don't have any idea what Peeta has in mind for the cake," Leila giggled.
"Will it be huge? and what colow?" asked Milly.
"No, no and no" Finnick covered his ears " you don't have the right to ruin the surprise".
" In two days you'll see, my baby" The snotty girl made a sound of exasperation and grabbed Peeta's handcuffed hands.
"when we get mawwied I want my cake to be as high as the sky and chocolate, beautiful and wed too, ok?" the laughs were not long in coming
"I'll see what I can do," Peeta said softly.
"wow, I would have demanded one up to the stars" teased Johanna
"no, that would be too much," replied Milly without a drop of sarcasm earning her yet another wave of laughter.
"I guess it's time for me to go, unless you need me Leila?" said Peeta getting up from his seat
"no, thanks again Peeta. Get some rest."
With Peeta's abrupt departure, the break ended and training continued with hand-to-hand combat. For the first time I regretted being present. While the child was having fun running around with Annie, who arrived a few minutes after Peeta left, Leila had ended up on the floor more times than I would have liked. Leila's attention was on every move her sister made and not on her 'opponent', Johanna's frustration reached its limit when she was the one who asked to finish for the day.
While everyone else left the place, Johanna, Leila and I were left sitting on the bleachers, watching Finnick and Annie fooling around like children with Milly.
"If only Snow could see this he would squirm with anger" said Johanna with a wicked half smile.
"No" said Leila sharply
"What's your fear? He can't touch you anymore. We are safe, isn't that what the shrink repeats to us all the time?"
"Leave it Johanna"
"You know I'm right, Haymitch. Come on, Leila shows him that he doesn't control you anymore".
"Just because he's not here doesn't mean we're safe at all" Leila sighed in frustration 'as long as there's a slim chance we might lose, for me it's enough not to betray him' she abruptly shut up avoiding our gazes.
"betray him?! But what are you talking about? you are still brainwashed".
"Johanna, stop it and you know that's not what she's talking about" I growled.
"You have no idea Johanna, I do it for Milly. Maybe before I knew she was alive I would have, I had given in, oh well I don't know; but as long as my sister is in danger I'm not going to declare war on Snow, it's bad enough all the information I've given you"
"The little information, you mean." Johanna rolled her eyes in irritation.
"if I do and the Capitol wins, which I still think might happen, do you really think Snow is going to retaliate with me...why do you think I made that deal with Plutarch to get my sister out of the district...it was only a matter of time before I made a 'mistake' and he could get my sister"
"Snow?" asked Johanna, confused.
"No, not Snow but one of his henchmen" I said and Leila nodded slowly.
"Cane. He liked little girls. Very little girls" in a choked voice Leila replied 'Snow would bring girls from other districts as gifts for him, they were as little as Milly and I couldn't do..." she took a deep breath holding back her tears
"it's not your fault, Leila"
"Fucking monster 'Johanna cursed out loud everything I was thinking 'how do people not know about this?"
"because they were orphans from poor districts. Plutarch knows it too but he has no proof, I know he would want me to do the same as Finnick and tell everything on TV, but what would he gain with that? Does he really think the capitol would turn against Snow? For 75 years they watched kids kill each other just for fun, they would only care if it was one of them" I had to agree with Leila on that one, the capitol didn't see us as their peers, but inferiors "Cane had a picture of my sister, he kept telling me how much pleasure it would give him to meet her but that Snow was denying him, of course if I didn't survive the third quarter quell, there would be no impediments anymore. They can hurt me but not her, Johanna. Not Milly."
"No one is going to hurt the tadpole, I assure you that" promised Johanna.
"Awe you cwying Leila?" I was startled by Milly's voice. Leila put a smile back on her face immediately
"no, I was just talking about all the work I have to do these days" The kid didn't seem convinced by that answer
"I think if we don't go now we'll miss dinner" I quickly interjected "besides I have a debt to pay off" I shook the little brat's hair.
"What debt?" asked Leila
" his dessewt and Johanna too" said Milly laughing.
"Excuse me?" asked Johanna in outrage.
"Heymish said it's called bwackmail" Leila looked at me with her mouth open confused.
"kids these days will make up anything" I snorted downplaying it "come on, come on"
That night when Leila made sure her sister was sound asleep in her bed, she knelt in front of me on the bed with an uneasy expression.
"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"
"I think you should follow your instinct and not worry about what Johanna, me or anyone else might think."
She turned to look at her sister "was it really a good day for her?"
"I'd say it wasn't the worst but it wasn't easy either. This is a new place and she's adjusting, it's not easy even for us but she's strong like you" I caressed her cheek with my thumb. She gave me a soft smile, before kissing me and settling into my chest.
"The mutant pods have a radius of action of 2km. This was designed as a safety measure. The most lethal and poisonous ones are found near Snow's mansion. The further away from the surface a mutt is, the more vulnerable it is to light. If you ask me which mutt really scared me? no, they are not the huge beasts but one that Cane jokingly called Fleashy, they are flying fleas that eat human flesh, once they bite you they can enter your skin at high speed, once inside there is no way to survive and death will be painfully slow. They are almost imperceptible unless you can feel the almost undetectable buzz of their fluttering" I was trying to control my own emotions to everything Leila was telling me, I didn't want to interrupt her but I also didn't understand why she was telling me all this "In the basement of Snow's mansion there is a secret door to a tunnel that leads to the northern outskirts of the city, there he has hidden an aircraft. I think there is a park or a children's garden above this hiding place, I couldn't say exactly, I've never seen it with my own eyes."
"Why...?"
"You can tell this to Boggs. I think he will know how to put this information to good use, I just don't want any more interrogations" she pleaded. I was silent, not understanding why she wanted to share this information. "I want to believe that this is all going to end and everything will be better…Milly will be able to have a normal life" she raised her head and looked at me
"She'll get it. Don't worry I'll make good use of the information and if it helps to ease your conscience, I'll give Plutarch the credit" she rolled her eyes suppressing a smile.
The long awaited wedding arrived and with it a new air of general joy throughout the district. It was not surprising considering all the stupid and strict rules that existed here. These last few days I had hardly seen Leila, she, along with the entire kitchen team, were slaving away preparing the big banquet. In the mornings she was busy taking her sister to school, I would pick her up at the end of the day, take her next to the shrink and then Johanna, bored and without any occupation, would relegate me and take the child. Barely an hour before lights out in the district, Leila would return with Milly to the room to get ready for bed.
For my part I kept my word and passed the information Leila had given me to Boggs, he understood right away who my source was and didn't ask any more questions. I liked him, there was something about the way he acted that gave me a feeling of trust.
The ceremony was touching, the lovers could not have overflowed more love with every look they gave each other. If Maggs could be here, she would be overjoyed, even Chaff, these moments gave him hope to go on. I remembered each of the 'victors', these were the moments when we could think we had won something.
As I admire Peeta's work, out of the corner of my eye I see Katniss dancing next to Prim. Two girls being happy, goofing around next to the lousy dance moves of the 13th's guests. The dancing was only interrupted when they moved the large cake to the side of the room where it would be more visible to everyone present (and the communications team, of course). I caught Katniss's surprised gaze as she saw the artwork.
"this is what the old Peeta would have created."
"He's still Peeta, Katniss. Well, not all the time but there he is."
"not with me" she whispers
"nor with me" I laughed un-funnily "and he's right to be but I'm not giving up and neither should you sweetheart. Try to get closer and talk to him"
"I think Prim is calling me" Prim was dancing next to Gale. It was impossible to reason with her. Insufferable teenagers!
"Everything turned out perfect, don't you think?" I heard Leila's voice behind me.
"What a miracle to find you here! The old Sae let you out of your chains?
"Just because she wanted to dance too," she laughed. Yes, the old lady was already on her third dance partner.
"And Milly?" she pointed to the dance floor. Johanna was dancing next to the little girl "aren't you going to dance with them?"
"There are too many people," she said uncomfortably. The close contact with others always made her uneasy. "Unless you want to dance with me, here?" she asked excitedly, offering her hand.
Suddenly I was hiding in the doorframe of my room, from where I had a perfect view of the small living room of my house in the Seam. My mother was choking her tears between her hands, probably she didn't want to wake us up; it was useless, for three days neither my brother nor I had slept; it was three days since dad had died in the mine due to a cave-in.
I approached mom without making too much noise so as not to scare her and knelt down in front of her. "You are not alone, mom. I'm here and I always will be. I'm going to take care of you and Laith" I wiped her cheeks with my clumsy hands.
"That's our...my job, my sweet boy" she kissed my cheek. "It's late and you should sleep. I'll come later, you don't have to worry" I got up ready to obey her not knowing what to do to make her stop crying, I hated seeing her cry and I hated even more that dad wasn't here. I saw the music player still with the record on, dad had forgotten to put it back. I turned it on and approached mom again "Haymitch, what are you doing?"
"Do you want to dance with me?" with tears in her eyes mom took my hand. Dad loved to dance and fool around with reason and without reason, if mom was sad dad always danced with her around the small kitchen, in the living room or the garden, he would spin around until mom laughed again. Unfortunately, I didn't have his talent or dancing skills, I had barely tried to twirl with mom once and had already stepped on her foot three times.
"I can't believe dad left without teaching either of you two how to move" mom laughed after I stepped on her foot again. I took a step back abandoning my attempts "no, no. where are you going?"
"I thought you didn't want to..."
"No son of my beloved husband will be a disaster at dancing. How will you dance when you get married? come follow my steps" Laith did not take long to join the class and only until the sun came up we finally went to sleep. Since then when I wanted to get a smile out of my mother I just asked her to dance.
"I'm not much of a dancer myself. It's not my thing" I took a bitter sip of whatever my drink was. Probably flavored water with some fruit.
If I had disappointed her she disguised it well or maybe I didn't see it since I avoided her gaze "that's okay, I think I'll go to sleep soon, I'm dead tired".
"good luck convincing the little dancer" she smiled, gave me a peck and continued on her way through the guests.