Humanizing: I
Finally, Minato managed to address most of Naruto's faults—or quirks, as he reluctantly admitted. The Logic Unit was now significantly less chaotic, although traces of her peculiar tendencies lingered, like a faint scent of ramen in the air. He wasn't entirely sure if he'd fixed her or just rearranged the mess, but it was enough to move forward.
As Minato took a moment to catch his breath, Bitch appeared beside him, her ever-expressionless face tilted slightly as if contemplating something. "We must proceed to reboot the system in the Processor now," she stated matter-of-factly.
Minato blinked. "Reboot the system? Wait—hold on a second. If we do that, what happens to her? Will she lose... memories? Or her personality?"
Bitch gave him a long, calculating stare. "The core personality and memories will remain intact. The reboot will only stabilise and optimise her Logic Unit."
He exhaled in relief. "Okay, good. But... before we do that, I've been thinking about something."
"Thinking?" Bitch echoed. "Please clarify."
Minato crossed his arms, gazing into the infinite, surreal expanse of Naruto's mind. "Naruto... she's been through so much. She doesn't sleep, eat, or even feel things like a normal person. I know she's technically perfect as she is, but... I feel like she's missing out on what it means to be human."
Bitch tilted her head further, her mechanical gaze narrowing in confusion. "Why? 2B is already perfect. Perfection requires no alterations."
"No, I mean..." Minato struggled to articulate his thoughts. "Why not make her human? Physically, I mean. Wouldn't it be possible to give her those experiences? To let her live fully?"
Bitch's sapphire eyes flickered faintly, as though processing his suggestion. "You understand that such a change would compromise her indestructible nature. Wood infused with Sage Energy offers unparalleled durability. A human body, by comparison, is fragile."
"I know," Minato said, his tone soft but resolute. "But... she deserves to feel the wind on her skin, to taste her favourite ramen, to take naps without standing guard like a soldier. Even if it makes her more vulnerable, isn't it worth it?"
Bitch paused, her internal processors whirring audibly for a moment. "Yes. It is possible to alter 2B's physical composition to mimic a human form. However, the process will be complex and irreversible."
"Good," Minato said, his determination unwavering. "I want to do it. How do I start?"
"We must rewrite the seals engraved within her system," Bitch explained. "These seals regulate the flow of Natural Energy through her wooden structure. By modifying them, we can—"
"—Alter the way her body reacts to Natural Energy, effectively converting her into a human-like state," Minato finished, nodding as the concept clicked in his mind. "Brilliant! Let's do it!"
Without waiting for further instructions, Minato began walking purposefully into the depths of Naruto's mind. After a few confident strides, however, he stopped abruptly and turned back with a sheepish smile. "Uh... where exactly are we going?"
Bitch raised a metaphorical eyebrow. "To her core. Dattebayo."
"Right. And... where's that?"
"Her chest."
Minato froze. "Wait, her chest? That's... awkward."
"Why?" Bitch asked, her tone genuinely puzzled. "It is merely a designated location within the system. Practicality supersedes sentimentality."
"She's my daughter!" Minato exclaimed, his voice an odd mix of embarrassment and exasperation.
Bitch regarded him with her typical deadpan expression. "2B possesses no biological relation to you. Emotional associations are irrelevant."
"Yeah, but—" Minato groaned, running a hand through his hair. "Never mind. Let's just get this over with."
The journey to Naruto's core was a surreal experience. The vibrant ramen-themed landscapes gradually gave way to a sleek, futuristic aesthetic. Gleaming circuits pulsed with light, and faint mechanical hums filled the air. Minato couldn't help but marvel at the intricacy of the design—it was like walking through the heart of a living machine.
As they approached the core, Minato spotted an enormous, glowing seal engraved on a circular platform. It radiated a soft, golden light, pulsating rhythmically like a heartbeat.
"This is it?" Minato asked, stepping closer.
"Yes," Bitch confirmed. "This seal controls the distribution of Natural Energy throughout 2B's system. Modifying it will initiate the transformation process."
Minato knelt by the seal, examining its intricate design. The patterns were far more complex than any sealing jutsu he'd encountered before, but he could see the logic behind them. With careful precision, he began to make adjustments, his fingers glowing with chakra as he worked.
As he altered the seal, the platform began to tremble slightly, and the golden light grew brighter. A faint vibration hummed through the air, and Minato could feel the energy shifting within the system.
"Is this normal?" he asked, glancing at Bitch.
"Yes," she replied. "The transformation process will destabilise the system temporarily. Continue your work."
Minato nodded, focusing on the task at hand. Each adjustment required immense concentration, as even the smallest mistake could have catastrophic consequences. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he meticulously rewrote the seals, his mind racing to keep up with the complex calculations.
After what felt like hours, he finally made the last adjustment. The seal emitted a blinding flash of light, and the trembling subsided.
"It's done," Minato said, his voice tinged with exhaustion and relief. "What happens now?"
"The system will begin integrating the changes," Bitch explained. "The process will take time, but 2B will gradually transition into a human-like state."
Minato sank to the ground, letting out a deep sigh. He couldn't believe it—he'd actually done it. Naruto would finally have the chance to experience life as a human, with all its imperfections and joys.
As he sat there, staring at the glowing seal, he couldn't help but feel a surge of hope. For the first time in years, he believed that Naruto's future could be something extraordinary—not because of her indestructibility or her quirks, but because of her humanity.
Û~Û
Naruto blinked as she left the gates of Suna after successfully delivering her client. The mission had been uneventful, aside from the usual quirks, but something odd lingered. Her chest tickled. It was an unfamiliar sensation, one that made her tilt her head in mild confusion.
"Naruto feels happy for some reason," she murmured to herself, her voice as flat as ever despite the peculiar warmth bubbling within her. Shrugging it off, she reached for the white kunai tucked into her dress, twirling it absentmindedly before activating the Flying Thunder God technique.
The world spun for an instant, and in the next, she was back in Konoha—though not quite where she'd intended.
Inside the Hokage office, Tsunade reclined in her chair, the last rays of the day streaming through the window. A satisfied sigh escaped her as she sipped on her sake, her feet propped up on the desk, eyes closed in bliss. Beside her was a precariously tall stack of sake bottles, the result of a day's worth of indulgence.
Then came the crash.
The tower of bottles toppled, shattering into an explosion of glass and the unmistakable pungent scent of spilled alcohol. Something—or someone—had landed right on top of it.
"Dattebayo?"
Tsunade's eyes snapped open, her blood pressure skyrocketing as she took in the chaotic scene. There, in the middle of the wreckage, stood Naruto Uzumaki. Her pristine white hair glistened under the flickering light, her frilly black dress now drenched in sake. She blinked innocently at Tsunade, completely unfazed by the mess around her.
"Naruto!" Tsunade roared, her voice echoing through the office as she slammed her fists on the desk, cracking it slightly. "What in the name of—why are you teleporting into my office?! Look at this mess!"
Naruto tilted her head, her expression unchanging. "Naruto wanted to report the mission. Dattebayo."
"Report the—!" Tsunade groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. She could feel the beginnings of a migraine creeping in. "You couldn't just use the door like a normal shinobi? You had to ruin my sake stash?" Tsunade's eyes twitched violently as the last precious bottle of her imported sake rolled across the floor, its contents gleaming mockingly under the office's dim lighting. Her desk was now a battlefield, drenched in alcohol, with several toppled bottles lying in defeat. And at the center of this destruction stood Naruto, her pristine frilly black dress now reeking of the prized beverage.
"Naruto!" Tsunade roared, slamming her palms on the desk. "Do you have any idea what you just did?! That sake cost more than your annual mission payouts!"
Naruto, soaked and slightly sticky, blinked innocently, tilting her head like a confused bird. "Naruto just thought she'd surprise Granny with her quick mission completion. Dattebayo."
Tsunade groaned, rubbing her temples as if to physically push away the impending migraine. "A surprise? A surprise? Dropping out of nowhere like a drunken angel on my sake stash is your idea of a surprise?!"
"Yes," Naruto said simply, nodding with the confidence of someone who had solved a profound mystery. "Naruto thought Granny would be happy."
"Happy?" Tsunade repeated, her voice dangerously low. Her fists trembled, the desk creaking under her grip as she fought the urge to throttle the girl right then and there. "You've ruined the only thing keeping me sane this week, and you think I should be happy?"
Naruto's brows furrowed ever so slightly, a rare expression of emotion crossing her usually stoic face. To Tsunade's astonishment, the girl actually pouted.
"Naruto thought granny would be happy with her completing the mission," she said, her voice softer, almost... hurt?
Tsunade froze mid-rant, momentarily caught off guard. Her frustration warred with guilt for a brief second before she shook her head furiously. "I am happy, but—ugh, never mind!" Reaching over the ruined bottles, she snatched the mission report from Naruto's outstretched hand. "Fine. Mission complete, got it. Now, for the love of everything holy, get out of my office!"
Naruto, now slightly pouting, crossed her arms in a stiff, robotic manner. "But Naruto finished the mission, dattebayo. On time. With no complaints from the client. Doesn't that deserve a little praise, Granny?"
For a moment, Tsunade could only stare at her. Then she let out a long, guttural sigh, the kind that came from a place of deep, existential exhaustion. "...Fiiine. You did a great job. Give me the report before I do something we'll both regret."
"Dattebayo!" Naruto said brightly, her hands clasped in front of her as though expecting a gold star. Naruto obediently handed over the mission scroll, still slightly sticky from the sake. Tsunade grimaced but took it anyway, skimming through the details with a practiced eye. Her mood soured further as the faint scent of sake wafted up from the paper.
"But," Tsunade added, her tone sharp enough to cut steel, "you're still banned from teleporting into this office unless it's a life-or-death emergency. Got it?"
Naruto blinked, her head tilting again. "Naruto understands."
"Good," Tsunade grumbled, tossing the scroll onto her ruined desk. "Now get out before I make you clean this mess."
Naruto gave her a polite bow—stiff, awkward, and somehow entirely too formal—before turning to leave. The alcohol squelched faintly beneath her boots as she walked away, leaving a sticky trail in her wake.
Tsunade groaned again, sinking into her chair and burying her face in her hands. "That girl is going to be the death of me..." she muttered, already reaching for the one untouched bottle of sake hidden in the corner of her desk drawer.
Naruto wandered through the village streets, her frilly black dress swishing lightly with each step. Despite her robotic mannerisms and stiff gait, there was a slight bounce to her stride. Something inside her felt... strange. Light. Warm. She didn't know what to call it, but it felt almost... pleasant. Her chest tickled again, a sensation she couldn't quite place.
"Naruto thinks it is time for ramen. Dattebayo," she muttered to herself. It wasn't as though she needed sustenance, but ramen was comforting. Or so she remembered.
The familiar wooden stand of Ichiraku Ramen came into view, and the sight alone was enough to make something akin to excitement well up inside her. Pulling back the curtain, she stepped inside.
"Naruto-chan!" Ayame called warmly, her smile bright as ever. Teuchi, wiping down the counter, glanced up and chuckled.
"Well, if it isn't our favourite customer. What'll it be today?"
"Naruto will have miso ramen. Extra pork. Dattebayo."
Ayame giggled at the flat delivery. "Coming right up!"
As Naruto settled onto the stool, her pale, slender fingers drummed rhythmically against the counter. She watched as Teuchi expertly ladled steaming broth into a bowl, adding noodles and toppings with practiced ease. Ayame worked beside him, handing over the finished product moments later.
"Here you go, Naruto-chan!"
Naruto stared at the bowl for a moment, her glowing sapphire eyes reflecting the golden broth. Then, with a mechanical precision, she picked up the chopsticks and began to eat. The noodles were perfectly cooked, the pork tender, the broth rich and savoury.
And then it hit her.
A burst of something unfamiliar. A sensation that didn't compute with her usual systems. Her taste receptors, dormant and neglected for as long as she could remember, seemed to spark to life. She froze mid-bite, chopsticks hovering in the air.
Was that... flavour?
Her mind reeled. It couldn't be. She wasn't designed to taste food. That function had been deemed unnecessary long ago. Yet here it was, an undeniable richness coating her tongue, warm and comforting.
"Naruto?" Ayame's voice broke through her daze. "Is everything okay? You're not usually this quiet while eating."
Naruto blinked slowly, her stiff movements betraying her confusion. "Naruto thinks she tasted the ramen. Dattebayo."
Ayame blinked in surprise, glancing at her father. Teuchi raised an eyebrow but didn't comment, though a faint smile tugged at his lips.
"Of course, you tasted it!" Ayame said, laughing softly. "Our ramen's the best, after all."
Naruto stared at the bowl, her glowing eyes narrowing slightly as if trying to solve a puzzle. Was it real? Or was it an anomaly in her programming? A glitch? She couldn't tell. But she wasn't going to stop eating.
She slurped down the rest of the noodles, each bite bringing that same inexplicable sensation. Her robotic mind catalogued every nuance of the meal: the umami of the broth, the saltiness of the pork, the chewiness of the noodles. It was overwhelming and oddly... satisfying.
When she finished, she placed the bowl down with a soft clink, her expression unreadable.
"Naruto enjoyed the ramen. Dattebayo," she declared.
Ayame beamed. "I'm glad! You always eat so quickly; I wasn't sure if you actually tasted it or just loved the idea of ramen."
Naruto tilted her head, her white hair swaying slightly. "Naruto does not know. Perhaps... Naruto is imagining things. 2B cannot taste food."
Teuchi finally spoke, his voice warm and reassuring. "Well, maybe it's not about being able to or not. Maybe it's just about enjoying the moment."
Naruto stared at him for a long moment, as though processing his words. Then, she nodded. "Naruto will enjoy ramen moments. Dattebayo."
As she stood to leave, Ayame waved cheerfully. "Come back soon, okay? We'll have another bowl ready for you!"
Naruto nodded again, stepping out into the night. Her chest tickled once more, and she touched it absentmindedly.
"Naruto feels... happy again," she murmured to herself, her voice softer than usual. "But Naruto is not sure why."
She walked away, the lingering taste of ramen—or what she believed to be taste—still vivid in her mind.
Naruto entered her apartment and paused. Her glowing sapphire eyes scanned the chaos before her. The place was an unholy mess. The usual scattered scrolls, half-written notes, and stray kunai were now joined by an assortment of random clothing, a half-eaten bowl of cereal, and what appeared to be a broken fan in the corner.
Naruto's gaze shifted to the couch. There lay Karin, snoring loudly, dressed in nothing but a tank top and shorts. A well-worn Rent-A-Girlfriend manga rested haphazardly on her face. Her glasses were perched precariously on her nose, and her hair stuck out in every direction like she had wrestled a porcupine in her sleep—and lost.
Naruto tilted her head. She approached the couch with stiff, precise movements and gently poked Karin's shoulder.
"Karin. Dattebayo," Naruto said softly.
Karin jolted awake with a snort, the manga sliding off her face and onto the floor. Her red eyes blinked blearily up at Naruto before widening in horror. She scrambled upright, nearly tripping over the blanket tangled around her legs.
"Naruto! I-I can explain!" Karin stammered, her voice a mix of panic and resignation. "I swear I was going to clean up! I was just—uh—taking a break! Yeah, a break!"
She braced herself, expecting Naruto to unleash a barrage of robotic praise-taunts or cold critiques, as was her cousin's unnervingly consistent habit. But instead of the predictable tirade, Naruto simply stood there, blinking.
"Karin did not tidy the apartment," Naruto observed.
Karin winced, preparing for the verbal trauma.
But Naruto did something entirely unexpected. Her expression softened—or as much as her stiff, doll-like features could manage.
"It is cousin-bonding time. Dattebayo," Naruto declared matter-of-factly.
Karin froze, her jaw hanging open. "W-What?"
Naruto turned and headed toward the small kitchenette. "Naruto bought food from the market. Naruto and Karin will cook. Dattebayo."
Karin blinked several times, trying to process the words. "Wait, wait, wait. You bought food? Like, actual food? Not ramen?"
Naruto nodded. "Correct. Naruto bought fish and ingredients for paratha. Naruto will cook."
Karin rubbed her eyes, certain she was dreaming. "You're telling me you—the girl who lives off ramen—are going to cook fish curry and paratha? Are you feeling okay?"
"Naruto feels fine. Dattebayo," Naruto replied, pulling out the ingredients with robotic precision.
Karin stared at her cousin like she'd grown a second head. But, curious and a little touched, she decided to play along. She shuffled over to the kitchen, tying her unruly hair back.
"Alright, let's see how this goes. Don't blame me if the kitchen ends up on fire."
Naruto blinked. "Naruto does not understand. Why would the kitchen combust?"
Karin sighed, shaking her head. "Never mind. Let's just cook."
Together, the two cousins began preparing the meal. Naruto's movements were precise and calculated, chopping vegetables and rolling out the paratha dough with the efficiency of a machine. Karin, meanwhile, worked on seasoning the fish, throwing in spices with the practiced ease of someone who actually knew what they were doing.
"Naruto thinks Karin is very skilled at cooking. Dattebayo," Naruto said, her monotone voice surprisingly sincere.
Karin paused, her cheeks flushing slightly. "Thanks... I guess. You're not too bad yourself, considering this is probably your first time making something that's not instant noodles."
"Naruto learned quickly. Dattebayo," Naruto replied.
Despite their vastly different approaches to cooking—Karin's more relaxed and intuitive, Naruto's mechanical and exact—the two worked surprisingly well together. The aroma of spiced fish and freshly cooked parathas soon filled the apartment, making Karin's stomach growl.
Finally, they finished. Naruto carefully plated the food while Karin grabbed a couple of drinks from the fridge.
"Naruto suggests eating on the rooftop. Dattebayo," Naruto said.
Karin raised an eyebrow but didn't argue. The two climbed up to the rooftop, carrying their plates and drinks. The evening sky was painted in shades of orange and pink as the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the village.
Sitting cross-legged on the rooftop, the two cousins began to eat. Karin took a bite of the fish curry and let out a contented sigh.
"This is... really good," she admitted, glancing at Naruto. "I can't believe you actually cooked this."
"Naruto is pleased that Karin enjoys it. Dattebayo," Naruto replied, taking a bite of her own.
As the two ate in companionable silence, Karin found herself stealing glances at Naruto. There was something different about her cousin today. She wasn't entirely sure what it was, but Naruto seemed... calmer. Softer. Less like a walking anomaly and more like... well, family.
Karin leaned back, gazing at the horizon. "You know, this is kinda nice," she said, her voice quieter than usual. "Sitting here, eating good food, not having to deal with any weird drama or life-threatening situations. It almost feels normal."
"Naruto is glad," Naruto said simply, her glowing eyes reflecting the setting sun.
Karin chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Is this a dream? Because if it is, I don't want to wake up."
Naruto tilted her head, considering. "If Karin is dreaming, Naruto suggests enjoying the dream to its fullest. Dattebayo."
Karin laughed, her earlier frustrations forgotten. For the first time in a long while, she felt a genuine sense of peace. Whatever had caused this change in Naruto, she wasn't going to question it.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the village in twilight, the two cousins sat together, sharing a moment that was as close to perfect as either of them had ever known.
Û~Û
Author Note:
Minato was successful!
I hope you liked this chapter.
Drop your thoughts in the review section. Your words inspire me to write faster, better and with more depth.
Till next time!