*Jun: I'm alive.*

This bit lingered in my head after i read the chapter. Even after i went to bed, it remained at the forefront of my mind when i woke up. My Jun Stan voice told me that it wasn't meant to come across as something flippant despite that being how Motoko interpreted the message.

After some thinking, i realized why it lingered. It reminded me of the "Su cuy'gar" from Karen Traviss' take on the Mandolorians and how despite being used as "Hello" it literally meant "So, you're still alive." Now, i'm paraphrasing this from memory, so i might be wrong or it might be my own personal take on it, but for a culture that revolved around Mercenary work and thus conflict, such a greeting has in essence two meanings.

"I'm glad you made it out of the last job alive/well" and "I hope you remain alive when i see you again next"

And i felt that Jun's words could be interpreted in this fashion, because he's in a Gang War where he'll be sent from front to front, to conduct a variety of missions with a adhoc group of fighters. To the point that seeing someone he once fought with again would laden his " Still Alive " with the same context.

So i decided to build on that. On how "I'm Alive" is in truth both a promise, a prayer and a wish to his sister by showing what it means to him and the other fighters on the Front.

Su cuy'gar! - "Hello!"; literally: "So you're still alive."

BRATATATATATATA

Despite knowing on a intellectual level that it won't help much, Jun ducked his body even further downwards as the rain of bullets from the Maelstrom borg continued to pepper the the building they were in.

"JUN! GO TO THE ROOF, WE'LL COVER YOU! TAKE HIM OUT!"

"YOU SURE KENZO? A HIT FROM THAT HMG IS CERTAIN DEATH!"

"WE DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER OPTIONS, GO!"

With a nod to the rest of the crew, Jun moved towards the ladder leading to the roof as the rest of the crew drew the attention of the borg via shooting him with whatever side arms they had on-hand.

It felt like it took an eternity to reach the roof and to then find a position that allowed him a shot at the rampaging borg. The wet thunks of High Impact bullets meeting flesh and the cries of "KAASAN" , " TASUKETE" constantly filling him with a sense of urgency that drove him into near-impatience as he zeroed his SOR-22 at the borg, but the patience and experience from what was now months of war allowed him to keep his cool.

The cross-hair of his scope moved slowly, steadily as it drew a bead on the Maelstrom Borg's forehead. A brief exhale. A gentle pull of the trigger.

BAAM

As the Borg fell dead to the ground with a third eye, Jun allowed the sense of urgency to take hold.

" STILL ALIVE KENZO?"

" STILL ALIVE JUN! NICE SHOT!"

Dear Motoko,

If you're reading this message it means i'm dead. I'm sorry for disappearing to fight this war, but the friend i mentioned to you before was in truth my output and someone who would have been my wife.

I have some Eddies saved up in a account that i left to Hiruzen Ojisan to manage, he should be contacting you about it soon. Use that money to do what you want Motoko. You have a good friend in Hiromi and i'm sure she can help you with laundering the funds so that you can live in the sun.

Apologies for this letter being so short, there is so much more i wanted to tell you but it's about time for those Maelstrom fucks to make another attempt at rushing us again, i'll continue if we survive this wav-

The sound of chirping birds broke Jun away from his attempt at a farewell letter. He had heard rumors about hearing it and what it meant since he was a boy listening to Tousan talk about some of the raids he had been in.

Moving to a nearby window, Jun took a quick peek out of it before sticking his head out fully when no gunshots came to ventilate the tempting target his head presented. The first thing that caught his attention was the strong smell of ozone before his optics presented him with the glory sight of clumps of Maelstromers looking as if they had being charred from within.

A flicker of movement caught his attention and with a slight mental nudge the binocular vision of his optics brought the contents to view before him. Jun watched with awe at the sight of one of the Clan's few Named Solos removed his right arm from the cooling wreck of an APC, the arm still sparkling with the high voltage needed to force a Short-Circuit via mere touch.

A Message notification pop into view, knocking Jun out of his shocked state

HATAKE KAKASHI: Still Alive Jun boy?

KUSANAGI JUN: Still Alive thanks to you Kakashi San. I own you a beer

HATAKE KAKASHI: I'll hold you to that. Stay Alive Jun kun.


The wake was in truth unlike a usual Tyger Claws affair. The usual somber affair of prayers to the dead replaced with the raucous party as requested in Ishida San's will.

Jun couldn't help but feel out of place. He barely knew Ishida San beyond participating in a raid or two with the man before being in the last raid when Ishida San bit it after volunteering to hold the Maelstromers back so that the planted bomb could go off.

To his surprise however, he found that he knew most of the people participating in the "wake". Most of them were older experienced members of the Claws who had long earned their stripes and Names, while the rest were new upcoming blood who had achieved great merits in the current war. It made him feel like a fraud considering he participated in the War not for the Clan but to avenge Deunan.

" Still alive Jun!"

" Well, you know i don't need to worry about your fat ass dragging me down, so staying alive was pretty easy after i got assigned into a different squad Kenzo San."

"Wow that's mean Jun. Normally, i'll say that calls for you buying me a bottle of Junmai daiginjo Sake to soothe my wounded heart. But since Ishida's Will calls for the wake to continue till the eddies he had left runs out, you got lucky! Make sure to Stay Alive Jun! My wounded heart might need soothing again!"

Jun watched in bemusement as Kenzo drunkenly stumbled his way towards the bar to make good his threat on fulfilling Ishida San's last wish.

" Still alive i see Jun kun."

" Hai Kakashi San. Still Alive despite the Maelstrom's wishes."

"That's good. Make sure to stay that way. i'm feeling maudlin now that i'm drunk, so here's some advice for you Jun kun. Don't get so caught up in your revenge that you forget about those you left behind."

" Kakashi San?"

" Come now Jun kun, most of us know why you're volunteering to be on the front for this war. Don't insult our intelligence. I'm just saying that you also need to remember you have a Imouto waiting for you.

I'm sure you've noticed by now how when we greet one another You're Still Alive is what's being used over Hello or How are you. The War has led it so that seeing a comrade you fought with still alive is a pleasant surprise and every raid is done with the expectation of potentially dying to ensure it's success.

But at least us soldiers on the front have that. Those left behind though? What do they have to show that us soldiers are alive? OPSEC ensures that there's no way they can find out beyond us making the effort to tell them. You might think that not telling them anything keeps them from worrying, but i'm telling you that it is that fear of the unknown that will drive them to make stupid decisions like sign up to fight as well.

So talk to your sister. And stay alive Jun, i'll get my beer from you next time."

Jun found himself at a loss on what to tell Motoko. He wanted to take Kakashi San's advice and relieve his sister's worry about what he was doing, but all that sprung to mind were stuff that would make her worry.

Kakashi San saving his ass and the joy of realizing this wasn't his day to die

Kenzo playing distraction for a Maelstrom Borg, and the relief at having made that shot.

Watching as the point man of the squad set-off a booby trap that flayed the flesh off his bones and thinking to himself "It was my turn to take point".

Bullets whizzing past him as he raced to take out the Maelstrom Snipers before they could take him out, that ice-cold prick of fear up his spine after firing each shot wondering if it would be his last.

Blowing up a residential block to take out the fortified Maelstrom safe-house in the basement and hearing the wailing of the civilians living in the block for lost family members in the aftermath of the blast

Interrogating a prisoner to find the next place to hit, of constantly grabbing new tools despite the prisoner's pleas to stop

Assassinating a Maelstrom lieutenant when he was out on a walk with his daughter and the sharp scream of the girl as her father's blood splashed on her face.

Shooting a Maelstrom ganger that looked to be Motoko's age because the brief called for No Survivors. Ignoring how in death, the kid stillness reminded him of Motoko lying in that hospital bed.

In the end, all he could do was mustered up the following words to her:

I'm alive.

So now that i had Jun's take on what "I'm Alive" meant to him, i have to convey why he decided he could only use that to talk to Motoko. And the thing that sprung to mind is that this is a Gang War, which means pretty dark shit must have been done by both sides.

Yet, how could Jun be willing to share the horrors of war to his sister? In the end all that he could convey was that he's alive because the telling of how he remained alive and what he did to remain alive isn't stuff you would share with your loved ones.

So from my POV, it might be lacking for Motoko but that was all Jun could and was willing to share to someone he cares about.