WANTED: BRRRR
Regina Jones: Motoko, i got a job for you. Scav Den in Kabuki, need you to wipe them out. I heard good things about your work from Wakako.
Okay Motoko, you can do this.
Taking a deep breath and with Briar Rose in hand, Motoko stomped over to the door and open it with a kick.
" THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK! ARE YOU ALL READY TO die?"
Contrary to her expectation, instead of a group of scavs brandishing weapons ready to fufill their role of filling up the BRRR Meter, she found a crime scene.
There were bodies lying around the open space looking as if they had ran face first into a hurricane. She spotted bodies lying crumpled up in heaps or in weird animeesque shapes.
Here was one body taking the shape of a C. There was another one drapped over a railing in a fashion that indicated it's backbone had been pulverized. A step closer brought her to one of the bodies that looked oddly wiggly and a nudge with her foot had it crumpled in a fashion that indicate all the bones within had been shattered while leaving the outside strangely intact.
Upon fully entering the room, the sound of water dripping caused Motoko to look to it's source. Raising her head skyward, she found herself confronted with droplets of blood falling from a multitude of bodies embedded in the roof as if some kind of reverse whack-of-mole game happened.
Eyes moving in horror and fascination soon found their attention caught by the body stuck in one of the steel pillars holding the roof of the building, a closer examination showed that the body seemed to have all it's joints dislocated in addition to being forced into said pillar.
It looks like he was hit so hard that he spun and dislocated all his bones before impacting the pillar! That's crazy! I didn't even think that was physically possible!
Wait.
If they're all dead. What about my BRRRR !?
Motoko: Regina i think the Gig's done. Looks like someone got here before me. See photos for proof
Regina: Ok, wow... Yeah, i'll mark this Gig as closed.
Motoko: WAIT! Don't hang up! You er got any other similar Gigs lying around? I'll be more then glad to do them!
Regina: Well, someone's enthusiastic. That's a very excellent attitude for a Edgerunner. I'll see what i can find!
Motoko: Yep! Enthusiastic! That's Me! No other reason then that! Haha!
Unfortunately, Motoko found herself unable to make good "her enthusiasm". Each and every Scav Den Regina found for her were all wiped out before Motoko could get any action.
NO! This won't do! It's been a week without any BRRRs! I need to change tactics!
Wakako: You told me you could handle Stealth Gigs. Now prove it. Need you to sneak into the attached company and steal the following data from the CEO's private terminal.
Ok, new plan is a go! Give up on Shoot BRRRR and get Sneak BRRRR! This will totally work!
Sneak, Sneak, Sneak
Sneak, Sneak
Sneak.
With the power of the BRRR Gods, Motoko found herself quickly locating the fire escape leading to the CEO's Office. To her great joy, the blessings of the BRRR Gods continued to shine on her, as if to make up for the lack of BRRRs from the past week for she found herself catching the tail-end of the conversation he was having with his employees.
"...yes. That sounds good. You can proceed and brief me on the details when you return."
As the call came to a close, Motoko watched as the BRRR Gods continued to work their magic as the CEO left the office without bothering to manually shutdown his terminal. Taking advantage of her lucky streak, Motoko exited the Fire Escape and moved towards the Terminal as the Office door swung shut.
Quickly plugging in her data jack, Motoko ran a scan of the terminal to find the Information Wakako had sent her for.
1 Scan,
2 Scans,
3 Scans.
No matter how many scans of the Terminal she ran, Motoko found herself utterly unable to locate the file in question.
FILE GONE?
WHY FILE GONE?
MOTOKO SNEAK GOOD!
Beginning to panic, She quickly launched a search on the Terminal for the file access records to see if the file had been moved.
As if to mock her, the result appeared stating that the file in question had been transferred less then a minute ago and all trace of the files had then been wiped.
A Minute Ago.
As in that period of time where she was waiting for the CEO to finish his stupid call?
Which meant that the person she saw handling the call wasn't the CEO but some kind of Super Spy?
As if to congratulate her for coming up with the right answer, the door of the file cabinet sprung open dumping the man she had just saw walk out of the office onto a pressure plate causing alarms to start blaring and instantly removing her Stealth Status and thus all the BRRR she had gotten from sneaking.
The night and all her planning were wasted. The BRRR Meter was once more empty. Filling Motoko with such indignation that she couldn't help but scream
"ARRRGHHH!"
And as the sounds of footsteps heading towards the office start to become louder, Motoko's got a message from Wakako.
Wakako: Motoko, Gig's cancelled. You're were taking too long to get me that data, i hired another Edgerunner by the name of Twilight and he just got me that data. I think you should stick to Solo Jobs from now on. Heists don't appear to be your thing.
Anya had a good day today! The kids in her class at Arasaka Academy were super impressed by the size of Bond and were all talking about getting their papas to get a doggo for them of the same size or bigger.
But until then, Anya was BOSS of the Class! Letting out a hum, Anya continued waiting for the bus when a weird chant started repeating in her head.
NO BRRRRRR. WHERE BRRRR, ME NEEED BRRRR. NO BRRRRRR. WHERE BRRRR, ME NEEED BRRRR. NO BRRRRRR. WHERE BRRRR, ME NEEED BRRRR. NO BRRRRRR. WHERE BRRRR, ME NEEED BRRRR. NO BRRRRRR. WHERE BRRRR, ME NEEED BRRRR. NO BRRRRRR. WHERE BRRRR, ME NEEED BRRRR. NO BRRRRRR. WHERE BRRRR, ME NEEED BRRRR.
The source of the non-stop chanting appeared to a girl who had all the signs of the kind of people Papa and Mama had told her to avoid. Missing a shoe, holes in her clothes and stumbling from side to side.
She must be one of those Saika Tacos that Papa worked with! Anya was just about to go over and ask if they knew Papa when she remembered what Mama had told her about Saika Tacos.
===================
"Miss Anya, although your father is working with Cyber Psychos, he's trained to do so. If you run into a person acting weird, just stay away from them ok? You won't want to make his job harder right?"
YOSH! Anya is a good girl and will listen to Mama! She'll stay away from the Saika Taco!
Even as she made her decision, dispatched EMTs arrived and start guiding the Saika Taco into a Van. Even to Anya's inexperienced eye, they seemed to be good at their jobs considering how they were calmly escorting the taco into the van and politely ignoring her sudden shouts of:
"BRRRRRR WHEREEEEEEEE!"
Did a Take 2, because i wasn't satisfied with the humor of the first one. I focused more on the BRRRR part this time round, since that's my punchline.