Memories

"Oh, hi Siobhan." Carol smiled, standing in the hospital waiting room, pacing beside the coffee machine.

"Hi." Shiv said nervously, "Am I allowed to be here?" She asked, not entirely sure of hospital rules. She'd never been in one.

"Yes, of course." Carol nodded, "He's out of surgery. He came round about half an hour ago but he's still in and out of it." She explained.

"Did the surgery go ok?" Shiv asked.

"Yeah. Well, the surgeon said it was a success." Carol said, "They're estimating eight months for his recovery."

"Oh… that's a long time." Shiv said, "He'll be out for… two seasons." She calculated.

It had only been last night at the school's football game where Daryl had suffered an incredibly nasty leg break, to the point where the bone had broken through the skin. She had been in the bleachers with a few friends when it happened. She swore she could have heard a pin drop amongst the crowd as they watched him get stretchered off. She'd never felt so sick and worried in all her sixteen years of living.

"He's got a long way to go before he plays football again." Carol nodded, "Honestly, I don't know if he'll be able to play again." She said, "The break caused fractures in his kneecap. They had to put steel plates in." She told Shiv.

"But with the right recovery and physiotherapy, I'm sure he'll be able to play again." Shiv said. She couldn't imagine a world where Daryl didn't play football. It was what he lived and breathed for. Sometimes, when they were hanging out in his bedroom (when her parents thought she was having a sleepover with her girlfriends), he'd just be lying there, throwing a football up and down.

"Hopefully." Carol nodded, with an unconvincing smile, "I'm not very good with all of this. Brian always handled the sports stuff." She admitted, referring to Daryl's father who had been dead for almost two years, "It's like he still has that connection to his dad when he plays. And now he won't be able to." Carol sighed stressfully as Shiv watched, feeling a lump in her throat. She hated when other people got upset. It instantly made her want to cry.

"Can I go see him?" Shiv asked.

"Oh, of course." Carol wiped under her eyes, "He's just in that room on the right." She pointed over as Shiv nodded.

"Thanks." Shiv nodded awkwardly, the way only a sixteen-year-old knew how to do.

She walked a little down the corridor and headed into the room which Carol pointed to, looking over at Daryl lying up in bed with his leg propped up on a large pillow. She was glad to see him awake, but not so glad to see how pale he looked.

"Hi." Shiv smiled, walking over to the bed.

"Hey." Daryl said with a croaky voice.

"I'm Batman." Shiv croaked back, trying to replicate his voice, which made him instantly smile at her goofiness.

"They've just pulled all these tubes out my throat from the surgery." Daryl told her.

"Do you want a drink?" She asked him, noticing the jug of water on the side table.

"Yeah, please." Daryl nodded, watching her take the jug and pour some into a cup before handing it over to him, "You've not been here all night, have you?" He asked before taking a sip.

"No, I went home when you went into surgery." Shiv said.

"Does your mom send her love?" Daryl asked with a sarcastic smile.

"They were in bed." Shiv said, "Someone from school set up a Daryl's leg memorial page on Facebook, though." She let him know as he scoffed.

"Jesus." Daryl shook his head, "Can you find out who and then punch them?"

"It's probably one of your stupid friends." Shiv said as Daryl nodded, agreeing once he thought about it.

"Was it as bad as everyone is making out?" He asked her as she sat down by the bed on the armchair.

"It literally happened to you. Didn't you feel and see how bad it was?" She asked with confusion.

"I didn't feel anything." Daryl told her, "Doctor told me that's normal, though. Those kinds of injuries just make people numb and… go into shock, I guess. I felt nothing." He told her.

"The bone from your shin was literally sticking up and out of the skin." Shiv said, "Pretty bad from where I was standing."

"Don't forget the shattered kneecap." Daryl nodded, "Which apparently is now being held together with a steel plate and some bolts." He said, impressed.

"Your bionic now." Shiv said, "Hey, does that mean when you go through security at the airport, you'll set the alarm off?" She grinned as Daryl chuckled.

"Didn't cross my mind until now." He said. It was impossible not to feel brighter around her. There was only one person he wanted to see when he came round from surgery, and it was her. To hear her sweet little laugh and her bad jokes. It was the best remedy he'd ever find, for any injury or sickness.

"At least they didn't chop it off." Shiv shrugged.

"That is a positive." Daryl nodded.

"Is it sore?" She wondered.

"It is now." Daryl said, "But they got me on some good drugs." He nodded, "And apparently, if I press this button here, I get more when I'm ready for them." He held up the remote with the green button.

"Lucky you." Shiv scoffed, "Nice hospital gown, by the way." She smirked.

"Shut up." He smiled, leaning his head back on the pillow, "You just wanna look up it." He said as she chuckled.

"Wouldn't hurt to peek." She said as he chuckled loudly, turning his head on the pillow and looking at her.

"Is my mom ok? She was in a bit of a state earlier before I went in for surgery." Daryl said.

"She seems ok. She's outside getting coffee." Shiv said, "I think she's just worried about you. She probably misses your dad at times like this."

"Yeah, he dealt with the more serious stuff." Daryl nodded, "She kinda has to be mom and dad now." He said.

"Brian would be in here saying, you should have carried on playing, kid." Shiv smiled.

"You're probably right." Daryl chuckled as Shiv smiled, reaching her hand over and squeezing his.

"If you need anything, I'm here." She nodded.

"I know." Daryl smiled, lifting his head from the pillow, and looking out the window of the room, "Would be a good time for a kiss." He nodded to her as she smiled.

They'd been sleeping together for over a year, sneaking into each other's houses at night, ditching their friends and hanging out together after school, sneaking looks at each other in the corridor between classes. It wasn't that they didn't want people to know, they just didn't want to let people into this safe space they'd created with each other. They had been best friends for the longest time and it all just happened without them realising. Making out because they were curious had turned into them spending most nights in each other's arms.

She leaned over and pressed her lips against his, kissing him softly before adding a little more heat, cupping the back of his head with her hand, deepening the kiss with her tongue as he reciprocated and cupped both of her cheeks.

Shiv jumped back when the door opened, sitting back down on the chair, turning around and thankfully seeing it was only the doctor.

"How we feeling, Daryl?" Doctor Clark asked, the doctor who had been dealing with Daryl's surgery.

"Sore." Daryl nodded.

"Yeah, unfortunately that is normal." Doctor Clark nodded, "But your surgery went well. I do expect to see you back for another surgery in about six months time. A break as nasty as this… we need to make sure the bone heals in the correct position."

"Another surgery?" Daryl shook his head with confusion.

"Yeah." Doctor Clark said.

"I've got football, though. I thought I'd be back next season. It's just a broken leg." Daryl said, turning to Shiv with confusion.

"It's not just a broken leg. There's a lot of damage. Especially to your kneecap. We had to remove pieces of cartilage and bone. The only thing that will help you bend your leg now is the steel plate we've put in." Doctor Clark said, "And even with that… there might be more surgeries required."

"But I can get physio, right?" Daryl nodded.

"Yeah. Of course." Doctor Clark nodded, "But… I'm not sure you'll be back at football anytime soon. This is a nasty injury, and your recovery will be long." She said. It was her job to be honest.

Daryl just nodded slowly, trying to process what the doctor was trying to say in a subtle way. If he missed two seasons of football, it was guaranteed someone would have to take his position, and all hopes of a scholarship would be out the window. He felt like his whole world was crashing down on him.

"I'll let you rest." Doctor Clark said, leaving the room as Shiv looked at Daryl.

"Was she… Was she trying to tell me that I'm probably not gonna play football again?" He asked Shiv with confusion.

Shiv didn't say anything, instead she just took his hand and squeezed it tight.

"I hope you didn't feel pressured into telling him. That's now what I wanted you to do." Punk said, lying in bed with AJ later that night.

"I wouldn't have told him if I didn't want to." AJ said, "But sometimes hearing that someone else has had a shitty time, makes you feel less alone. And he… he talked for at least an hour about prison, telling me all kinds of things." She said, "I think me telling him about my attack maybe gave him some courage to talk about prison."

"Well you're a brave lady." Punk said, cupping her cheek as they faced each other in bed, "And I'm sure it meant a lot to him." He said as AJ nodded.

"I'm just glad he's talking to us. It's a shame he had to drink himself into oblivion and get in a fight with Finn to realise he needed to talk." AJ said, "But the more he talks, the more he'll start to feel that weight lifting from his shoulders. I mean… his prison experience sounded awful. Fights. Food strikes. Awful cell mates. Awful guards. He's a tough kid." AJ concluded.

"Yeah, he is." Punk agreed, "My heart physically hurt when he was crying in my arms. He's still a kid, and he's been through so much already." He said.

"Yeah." AJ nodded, "He'll be stronger for it."

"What about Shiv?" Punk wondered.

"I don't know. I think they just have to figure things out for Brianna. Whether that means they co-parent or they try hard to be friends." AJ said, "They're always gonna be in each other's lives now. They have to find a way to make it work."

"Yeah, but they clearly still love each other." Punk scoffed.

"How is it clear? They've spent the past couple weeks fighting non-stop." AJ shook her head.

"They're only so angry with each other because they still love each other. It's textbook. Catch up." Punk said as AJ chuckled and shoved him under the sheets.

"So you're going to start playing matchmaker again?" AJ asked, "I wouldn't advise it."

"I'm just saying… I haven't locked enemies in a fridge in a long time. Might work." Punk shrugged as she smiled.

"Don't be ridiculous." She scoffed.

"Ok, I'm joking." He nodded, "But I do think they still love each other. They just aren't very good at communicating how they feel. They're both so wrapped up in their own feelings. Maybe now that Daryl is going to talk more and tame his panic attacks… maybe him and Shiv will be able to have a decent conversation." He shrugged.

"I hope so. For Brianna's sake." AJ nodded, "Maybe you're right. There's just so much history between them. It's like no matter what, they can't shake each other off." She said.

"Sounds like a familiar feeling." He smiled to her.

"There's a reason he went to you tonight." AJ said, cupping his cheek and stroking it gently with her thumb, "He could have broken down in front of anyone, but he went to you. Cause you've always been there. And you know… I didn't know his dad very well, I just knew he was a great guy that everyone loved. But I think if he was here right now, he'd thank you for looking out for his son." AJ nodded as Punk smiled.

"Kid means a lot to me." Punk nodded, "I just want the best for him."

"I know." AJ said, leaning over and kissing him softly.

Shiv was sat in her living room on the sofa with the box she'd collected from her mother sitting opened on the coffee table. Inside was some official documents belonging to her, as well as a few trophies and pictures. With that was also the mail she'd received since she'd been away from her house, most of which were letters from Daryl.

She looked through the photographs first, smiling at some pictures of her when she was a kid, posing for the camera. She hadn't realised until now how much Brianna looked like her as a kid. She could finally see it so clear with these pictures.

She flicked through more and came across some of her and Daryl, one when they were thirteen out Daryl's back yard with his parents. Another of them sitting out on the dirt track which lead up to her parent's house. Some they were being goofy, her on Daryl's back, him making a face behind her, and some made her teary. Selfies on the digital camera of them in his room. A picture he'd taken of her doing homework at her desk. Memories of all the time they spent with each other, in their own little bubble of comfort and safety. She hadn't looked at the pictures in so long, but every one of them made her smile and tear up.

She looked at the stack of letters sitting on the coffee table and figured it was time to bite the bullet. She picked the first one up and opened it, taking out the letter with his scruffy handwriting which she always teased him about when they were at school.

Shiv,

I really miss you. Days feel like minutes in here. I thought you would have written back to me by now, but I assume you're busy at college. I was thinking about the sandwich shop close to your campus the other day that we went to. I'd kill for a sandwich right now. The food here is worse than when Finn tried to make Carbonara. Anyway, there's not much to do here but read, write, and do sit-ups which means I'll be getting out of here more ripped and intelligent than ever before. You're welcome.

I just want you to know that I think about you every day, and I know you didn't want me to do this, take the blame for what happened, but I'm glad I did. Even if this is the worst place on earth, nothing would be worse than letting you go down for it. I'd never let anything bad happen to you, and I just hope you're doing ok. Whenever I ask Phil or April about you, they just tell me you're busy at college, but I really wished you'd reply. You're the only one I really want to talk to. But I'm glad you're keeping yourself busy I guess.

I just remembered… did you go see Taylor Swift with Becca last month? I remember the girls got you tickets. I know how excited you were. I don't see the hype, personally. Her songs are ok. Thinking about you having fun is a good thought though. Sometimes I think I didn't tell you enough that I love you. It was implied but we never really said it a lot. Being in here gives me endless amounts of time to think about literally everything and anything.

Been thinking about my dad a lot. He'd be stoked about us being together. He loved you. Always told me that girls like you are few and far between. When he was dying, near the end, and we were sitting with him at the bed, I remember one night it was just me and him and he told me I should marry you one day. I thought he was just doped up and in pain or trying to make a joke. But I think he saw it before we did, whatever it was between us. I do hope one day I can marry you. I'm sure you'll move on eventually, though. And I wouldn't hold it against you. It's just… something I've been thinking about.

Please write back.

Love,

Daryl