Author's Note

Holy bananas, y'all really enjoy this huh? Well I'm sure everyone will enjoy this silly little chapter too.

Uploaded

10/20/2024

LEGEND BELOW

"Onii-chan, can we go out to play?" = Speech.

''Yo, Yuuki, how have you been?'' = Thoughts/Phone calls

Chapter 3

Rated-M

M rating for mature themes, mentions of death, nudity, language, and sex.

Music of the day

Minecraft - Comforting Memories

His eyes snapped open, inhaling slowly as he shifted around atop his bed. He felt lethargic, but not as much as he'd been the night before. If anything, he felt just a tad more relaxed than anything else. He glanced down to his chest, taking notice of the fact that he was dressed in sweatpants and a muscle shirt, something he couldn't quite recall slipping into…

He fell back onto the bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling above him. He knew he needed to get out of bed, things to do, people to see. Mikan was probably still sleeping, if his internal clock was anything to go off of, it should probably still be early morning.

Of course, from the sun shining through his window beside the bed, he realized that he had no clue so as to what time it actually was.

What time was it?

Did Mikan have school today? Or was it Saturday already?

Wait, no it was definitely Friday evening when Lala crashed into his bathtub buck naked and pronounced her acceptance to his marriage proposal.

Boy, that had been a crazy…

Wait…

Lala…?

He blinked, finding his eyes drawn to the side to find-

Nothing, his bed empty. He couldn't help the burst of anxiety that shot through him, making him feel weak.

Was it all a dream…?

Like all the other times he'd imagined sharing his bed with someone else, only to wake up alone?

He thought it had been at first, his encounter with her last night, but then he'd changed his mind. Had he made the wrong assessment again?

Were his dreams really spiraling that horribly out of control-?

No. Wait a minute, he was still wearing the clothes he'd put on when he was with her, and that definitely didn't happen in a dream.

Also, he could still smell the lingering hint of strawberries in the air.

He sat up, a yawn splitting his lips as he slipped out of bed. Whatever the case was, delirious as he was after barely waking up, dwelling on it now wouldn't help. And more than that, he was thirsty…

He shambled across his bedroom floor like a zombie, unaware of what the time even was as he opened the door.

That's when the scent hit him, the smell of eggs and bacon cooking. He blinked slowly, eyes widening when he gazed into the kitchen, catching a glimpse of Lala in an apron, tail wagging happily behind her. She seemed to not take notice of him, the young man almost not believing his own eyes.

At the very least, he'd gained the answer to one question. Last night, was no dream.

Not at all.

"Onii-san!" Mikan took notice of him standing in the doorway, rushing from the kitchen over to him. The sight of his little sister seemed to pull him from his funk, as he bent down to his knees to pull her into a hug.

"Morning sunshine…" He yawned out, completely out of it. "What's going on out here?" He murmured curiously, glancing down at her.

The little girl smiled meekly up at him, lips twisting into a nervous expression. "W-We saw you sleeping in a-and wanted to make food for you." She explained quietly, holding up her little hands to try and block his wandering eyes as they traveled over to Lala. "It was supposed to be a surprise!" She whined, pouting when he smiled a tired look.

"Well, then let's pretend that I didn't see anything. Kay?" He hummed playfully, patting her on the head.

She grinned up at him, giggling. "Kay!" She beamed, running off to join the pink haired woman. He stood up, unable to stop his wandering eyes from looking said alien woman over.

He was still coming to terms with the fact that she was real, that everything he was looking at was real, that it was happening. He still wasn't one hundred percent sure he believed her story about being an alien princess from space, it just seemed too perfect.

He'd always wanted a partner, a woman to call his lifelong partner, his lover. And in the depths of his grief, she quite literally appeared from the skies and demanded he marry her.

Either he was sent an angel from Kami-sama, or she was an alien. But either way, he wasn't going to turn her away, and if she was willing, he was going to love her with everything he had.

She didn't seem to notice him as he walked up behind her, his arms wrapping around her midsection as he pulled her into a hug from behind. Her eyes widened slightly, glancing to the face of the sleepy man currently resting on her shoulder. "Good morning, Rito-kun." She smiled happily, craning her neck to press a tender kiss to his lips. A pleased little moan slipped past his lips, eyes fluttering closed as he returned it with a hint of nervous apprehension.

Her tail wagged lowly behind her as he pulled away from the kiss, arms still wrapped around her. "I made you breakfast this morning. Mikan-chan showed me how to use your human appliances." She explained quietly, smiling meekly up at him. She felt her heart fluttering as his cheeks warmed, the man glad.

Reluctantly, he let her go, already missing that feeling of warmth as he pulled away. However, noticing the pouting glare from his little sister standing on a stool beside the stove, he covered his eyes as if he'd not known about the food and wandered back to the kitchen table. He played along and sat quietly for a few moments, ears unable to ignore the loud whispering coming from a certain nine year old brunette.

"N-No! Make it look like this." She whispered loudly, shuffling around the stove.

"Like this?" Lala asked quietly, sounding as if she was moving something on a plate.

"Mmhmm! Yep!" Mikan beamed quietly, before shushing the older woman as if she was the one guilty of being loud. He couldn't contain the little snort of laughter that escaped before he could contain it, but he kept his eyes covered.

He heard the plate slide in front of him, before he felt Mikan tug on his arm. "Kay! You can open your eyes now!" She declared proudly, standing atop her chair.

He did as was instructed, opening his eyes to find his plate sitting in front of him. It wasn't anything special, just eggs and bacon, a little candle sitting in the center like a nose.

It had been put together in a way that formed a smile, the eggs acting as the eyes while the bacon did the job of the mouth. It wasn't the first time he'd seen something like this before, some restaurants did similar things for the kids of parents who were feeling down, but…

Seeing it now, knowing that she'd gone out of her way to do it, touched his heart.

"H-Happy birthday, Onii-san…" Mikan murmured nervously, wringing her tiny hands together anxiously, waiting to gauge his reaction.

He didn't respond for a moment, eyes staring at the plate before him as if in a trance.

''B-Birthday…?'' He thought quietly, as if testing the words on his tongue.

He hadn't celebrated his birthday since he…

Since he was a child.

Not even his friends would do anything for him. He supposed that it was due to the fact that they didn't know when his birthday was, but no one ever cared enough to ask anyway.

No one, but his sweet little sister.

"O-Onii-san?" Mikan murmured quietly, afraid he was upset or didn't like her surprise, but…

When he pulled her into a soul crushing,(gentle), hug, she realized that he was happy.

"Thank you, Mikan-chan…" He murmured happily, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.

She wrapped her tiny arms around him, smiling brightly into his chest. "You're welcome, Rito-nii."

"Checklist time. Elbow pads?" Rito listed off.

"Check!" Mikan smiled, holding up her elbows for emphasis.

"Knee pads?"

"Check check!" She grinned, patting her knees.

The young man raised an eyebrow. "Helmet?" He asked in a knowing tone.

"It's-!" She exclaimed, reaching up to her head. Her little hands met her visor, and she smiled brightly. "It's on my head!"

He grinned. "Good job." He patted her on the top of her helmet playfully, before his attention shifted back to the space princess standing curiously beside them.

Lala stood dressed in her garish outlandish space princess outfit that made her seem like she was straight out of some cheesy anime dating game…

Not that he'd ever played anything like that…

He coughed, clearing his throat. "Were you… planning on staying here?" He asked lamely, still in disbelief that she was real, and unsure just what to say.

Her face lit up curiously at his question, tail wagging lowly behind her. "What are you gonna do?" She beamed curiously, tail wagging happily behind her.

"Shopping trip, need some groceries and stuff." He quipped quickly, motioning to the door beside him. "I don't have a car… My bike's only a two seater…" He muttered in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his head.

Her face was blank for a long moment, before she smiled in understanding. "Oh! I'll just stay here then, Rito-kun! Don't worry, I'll be good!" She placated with a beaming smile, hands behind her back as she rolled playfully back and forth on the balls of her feet.

His eyes twitched, definitely not believing a word she said, but ultimately decided to just go along with it. Blowing out a sigh he stepped out the front door with Mikan in tow. "Alright, then we'll see you in a bit. Have- fun…" He trailed off.

Shit-? What was he supposed to say to a girlfriend in this scenario?

He's never even had a girlfriend before, what was supposed to be normal boyfriend behavior at a time like this?

See you later babe?

Ugh, that sounded so awful.

Hmmm…

Maybe…?

Mikan ran off, giddy as she made her way down the apartment lobby. He stopped in the doorway, hands feeling clammy suddenly as he turned to face her. She frowned curiously, head tilted to the side as she saw him face her with a strange nervous expression that made him look dangerously adorable.

Then he stepped forward, placing a quick kiss on her lips before pulling away, cheeks burning. "Later, Lala-chan." He added with a crooked smile, before quickly vanishing down the flight of stairs.

She stood stunned in place, cheeks warm. She placed her fingers on her lips, tasting him on her tongue.

Then she grinned, giggling to herself as she poked her head out the door. "Later Rito-kun!" She beamed, waving at him as he left. The man stumbled a bit at her voice, turning back to wave nervously at her.

So cute!

He hopped on his motorcycle before speeding off, little girl in tow. Suddenly it was just her, alone in his apartment.

Their apartment.

She smiled to herself, shutting the door behind her as she walked back inside. Now that she was finally alone, she had a very important mission to accomplish.

Her lips quirked up into a dangerous grin, tail wagging eagerly in anticipation. She wasn't going to ruin this one, she wasn't going to blow up another relationship.

''Dad said I can't hold a relationship for more than a day…'' She thought sarcastically, huffing indignantly as her cheeks puffed out in a pout. ''I'll show him. Rito-kun won't ever want to leave me.'' She thought decidedly.

She quickly scampered off to his bedroom, peeking inside to find his laptop.

Mission start!

First things first, she needed to find out what it was that Rito liked. Once she'd gathered enough data then she'll know what to do to make him happy, and then she'll just keep doing that.

So simple.

And her dad said she wasn't thoughtful.

That'll show him.

She was going to be the best girlfriend in the world. Then maybe he'll stop harping on her to finally find a suitable partner.

Oh gosh, she'd gotten distracted again.

Right, back on task. She snuck inside, slipping into his spinning desk chair as she set her sights on her goal. Human technology was similar to Devilukian technology on some degree, with devices such as the one before her looking relatively familiar to her.

It wouldn't be too hard to handle.

As she sat down in his chair, her butt taking up more space than the chair seemed fully capable of handling, Peke changed back into his doll form, coming to rest on her lap. She'd been left in nothing but one of his white tee shirts and his black boxers, but she felt more than comfortable in them.

Clicking her tongue, she opened the laptop, pressing her finger down onto the power button. It took a moment before the screen lit up a bright blue, a few moments later saw a screen greet her.

Clicking the mouse button, the home screen opened to a search engine. Rito had left his tabs open, but she'd explore that later.

"Lala-sama, I believe this is the human equivalent of the Devilukian super library. Humans call it… Google." Peke hummed thoughtfully from her lap, her full breasts resting atop the doll's head.

"Really?" She mused curiously.

"Indeed! I oversaw many humans using it while in search of you. It seems to carry all the information you shall ever need." She hummed robotically. "All you have to do is type your inquiry into this space, and done, you'll know everything you need to."

The princess's eyes widened, practically sparkling in glee. Her fingers hovered above the keyboard, mind conjuring up exactly what she wanted to find out.

"Hmmm…." She hummed, eyes narrowed as she thought. Then it hit her. "Ah! How about… What is the best way to please your husband?" She murmured aloud as she typed out her inquiry into the search engine.

There, that's should answer her questions perfectly.

From what she knew about the many species throughout the galaxy, all males and females seemed to desire different things. Although the closer a species seemed to one another, the closer their personal preferences seemed to be.

At least, from her perspective.

The last alien prince she'd tried to marry wanted the same thing all other males in his species seemed to want. A woman who didn't talk and didn't make explosives experiments all day.

That relationship had lasted a single day.

It was so boring! How in the world did he expect her to sit still all day and not experiment? It was like, one of her favorite things to do! Make new experimental technology, or experiment on her partner, or do both. That's all she wanted to do.

Was that too much to ask?

Apparently it was, because the prince had demanded her daddy take her back.

Rude!

Hah, she didn't want to marry that guy anyway. It had certainly left her a little disheartened, however. The last thing she wanted to do was marry another Devilukian, because all of them were afraid of her or upsetting her father. She was tired of being treated like a glass doll.

So boring…

But it was going to be different this time! She was going to do her best to keep this husband, and no lame desires were going to stop her.

As she saw the webpage loading, she couldn't help it as her mind began to wander. What did human males want? What made them tick? That's what she wanted to know.

And that's what she was going to find out.

A few moments passed before the page loaded, the most relevant results appearing at the top of the page. The first result was from a website named Reddit with the following article name, (How to please my husband from a man's perspective.)

Her eyes widened, happy that she'd found something so quickly.

Haha, take that! She was great at this reconnaissance thing.

She hovered over the website, bringing up the top answer. Her eyebrows quirked upward curiously as she read the top result out loud. "Keep his belly full and his balls empty…" She murmured, sitting back as she raised a hand to her chin. "Hmm, that sounds really simple." She hummed aloud.

Maybe she needed to do more research?

Yes, more research was needed!

She'd keep that little bit of knowledge at the ready, however. Because she was confident she could do both of those things.

Momma taught her really well.

She scrolled further down, the second result coming up. "Men like to be praised and rewarded for doing good…" She murmured, glancing down to Peke. "What do you think that means?"

"Maybe it means Rito-sama would like rewards for doing good things?" She mused aloud helpfully.

Lala's eyes sparkled in understanding. "Ah! Ok…" She nodded thoughtfully, moving up to click the first result from before. It took a moment to load, before a discussion popped up.

Just below the title was a question, or it was the title to another post made in the same vain as the last.

She wasn't sure…

But what it asked got her attention.

-For women who are worried their men will leave them, and how to make sure that they don't. By Rumi Usagiyama, the love bunny.-

-Girls, do you feel that your man is too good looking? Maybe you're worried that he'll forget about you because you're too demure, because you think that your husband wants a quiet wife who will do the chores and not cause a mess?-

Her eyes slowly widened as she read through the post, feeling as if this human woman was talking directly to her. She must've been the best detective in the entire galaxy at this point!

Rito-kun was going to be so proud of her!

-Maybe you were taught that the norm for you girls is that you need to be in the background, not getting in his way, and staying out of sight when his guys friends are over?-

Ugh, that sounded just like that one Balkean who tried to marry her. He just wanted her to stand in the background like a statue, something she tried for approximately thirty seconds, before she lost literally all of her patience. The guy was super boring too, so she didn't feel that bad about leaving him.

-Well if that's your case, then listen up! Take everything you think you know about how to be a good girlfriend and throw it out the fucking window! This post is for the ladies who are about to learn how to wrap their man around their fingers. First things first, if your man's balls are full when he's going to work, you're doing something wrong!-

"Ooooh!!" Lala exclaimed in awe, bubbling with a sudden burst of excitement, eyes glued to the screen.

-If your man is a hard working, sweat trailing down his stone abs type of man that's bringing home the bacon, you've got to make sure he knows he's appreciated for his hard effort. Trust me, a good morning blowy is sure to make his entire day right from the get go. Empty those balls, he'll have a clear head all day, and he'll be thinking of you the entire time. You've got to stake your claim.-

The sounds of synthetic clicking echoed out as Lala's thumbs sped over the touch screen of her space phone, taking notes like her life depended on it. She had to make sure she had this information available at all times in case she came across a situation where something vitally important like this was needed!

If there was anything anyone could say about her, she was certainly dedicated to trying her best…

-Number two! You've got to make sure he knows that you appreciate him for not only the big things, but the little things. You know, you ask him to make a quick last minute run to the store for something you forgot and he really doesn't want to, but does it anyway because you asked him to. Give him some encouragement, something to look forward to. If you ask him to make a grocery run and flash your boobs when he's leaving, he'll be back before you know it. Or if he already left, give him a little surprise when he gets back.-

"Oh! That's a great idea!" She giggled to herself, feet pulled up onto the chair as she wrote more and more notes in her phone.

-You don't have to worry about your size, girls, because if he loves you he won't care either. But for those a little top heavy, a little bouncing around will turn your puppies into mind controlling weapons. Never be afraid to use them when the time demands it of you!-

"Lala-sama, this woman is a library of sagely wisdom. I surmise that it should be necessary to learn directly from her one day to further your intimate knowledge of these mysterious womanly powers." Peke exclaimed in awe, shaking her little arms with barely restrained excitement.

As for the pink haired woman, she was too caught up in taking notes to even respond.

-Third. If you see your man working on his car or his motorcycle if he's one of those types, he's probably going to be a bit grumpy. Life happens, and things might get him down. But you know what? A nice cold drink delivered by the girl he loves who's dressed in his favorite skimpy bikini is sure to rip him out of the dumps and slap that smile right back on his face. Trust me, he'll be rushing to get that thing fixed to come back inside.-

-Forth. Now listen close to this one. Sometimes your man might not want or need any of these things. In these moments it might become clear that he is starved for attention, and it's likely that all he really wants in that moment is to cuddle you like some oversized stuffed animal. Pet names aren't mandatory, but very much appreciated.-

-In my next post I'll go over the intricacies of my favorite spicy ways to get him off, but that's for later. Follow these steps, and you won't have anything to worry about.-

Lala frowned in disappointment when she realized the post had ended. But that disappointment didn't last long as the excitement of all her newly acquired knowledge took root in her mind. She knew she was going to have to learn more from this mysterious bunny-like woman in the future, but before she did that she had to test out her newly gained knowledge on Rito.

She did have one more question she wanted some more immediate answers to. Quickly scrolling back to the search bar, she typed out her next question. "Best way to drain my hubby's balls!" She exclaimed in a singsong voice as she typed it out.

Many pages popped up, and she knew she was going to in for a long day of learning…

Soon enough, however, she heard the tell tale sound of keys jingling at the front door as she realized that Rito had returned home. She jumped up from the chair so quickly she sent it crashing to the floor in her eagerness to rush to the front door before he could open it.

She giggled knowingly to herself as she slid to a stop a short distance away from the front door, tail waging at dangerous speeds behind her as she reached up to take hold of her straining white tee shirt.

She watched the door handle click and turn, the door slowly opening to reveal the man in question. The brunette had about two second to question why Lala was standing in front of the doorway in nothing but his boxers and shirt before she pulled her shirt up without warning, oversized tits flopping out to bounce nakedly before his greedy eyes.

"Welcome home, Rito-kun!" She beamed brightly, bouncing slightly on her feet, the motion having wondrous effects on her oversized chest pillows.

"Wha-?" The strangled noise of surprise that slipped past his lips was only surpassed by the fiery blush that exploded over his face, eyes glued to her freely bouncing boobs that practically screamed for his attention. ''Wow, her boobs are actually bigger than I thought…'' He noticed absentmindedly, before his mind nearly completely malfunctioned.

She giggled proudly at the response she'd been able to elicit from him, before yanking her shirt back down over herself as she took the bags from his stunned hands. Placing a kiss on his lips, she spun around to walk away, his eyes immediately draw to her bubbly ass as her tail wiggled teasingly at him.

Well…

He was definitely awake now, no coffee needed. He was also uncomfortably hard.

"Onee-san, c-can I help put the groceries away?" Mikan asked nervously as she slipped past her comatose older brother, little bags in her hands.

"Absolutely!" Lala beamed happily.

Chapter

3

End

End notes

Hahaha! I was dwelling on this for a while, specifically how Lala was going to learn about human customs and how to be the best girlfriend/wife for Rito then thought to myself. What if she looks it up on the internet super bluntly, and just goes with the first response she gets and takes it like its the gosple? The second that thought came to me I realized that it's absolutely how all the expected shenanigans are going to come about, and poor Rito has no idea shes been rifling through his laptop.

Unfortunately, he never set a password...