Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Kim Possible.
A/N: Remember to vote if you haven't!
Beta: Chaos-PSD and ANUBIS the god king.
Chapter XXIII: Ron The Man.
Last Time.
"Monkey Ninjas, attack!"
"Monkey, what?"
"His legion of Monkey Ninjas. We captured them too." Naruto replied as the cops shook their heads.
"Sorry pal, there are no Monkey Ninjas onboard."
"I taught them the way of the Ninja, and now they abandon me? No!"
Hideout.
The man appeared again and saw the monkey ninjas glaring at him. "Um, hello. This is a little embarrassing. But I must correct one thing in my last message. Apparently, some of us don't write very clearly." He said, glancing at the monkey on his shoulder before continuing. "Anyway, when I said the leader of the Monkey Ninjas would be unstoppable, what I should have said was that the leader would be Ron Stoppable. My bad."
"Hope that didn't cause too much confusion." He finishes and vanishes.
Later, Bueno Nacho.
"OK, this is starting to get weird."
Kim said in the booth as all three looked at the monkey ninjas practicing. "I know, but I can't get rid of them," Ron replied to her.
Now.
Mountain Range.
Shego climbed into a cave showing a metal wall inside before looking back to the edge where more ropes hung. Suddenly, Drakken and the henchmen climbed over panting. "Be ready to move on my signal."
"Shego, wait up."
"Huh?" She blinked, looking at the out-of-shape henchmen before the wall blew up behind her as she heard evil laughter before hearing a male's voice speak in a German accent.
"Victory is mine."
Drakken turned to see a short stocky yet muscular man with a black helmet, an open mouth showing fair skin, and a brown chinstrap beard. He's wearing a red military uniform jacket with black straps, black gauntlets, a belt, brown pants, and black boots.
"Professor Dementor?"
"Dr. Drakken." Dementor spoke, walking over to the villain. "Hello. What brings you here?"
"I plan to steal the pan-dimensional vortex inducer with which I will wreak much havoc."
Dementor held up a cylinder device with a line around the top and bottom.
"This pan-dimensional vortex inducer?"
"You can't steal it. I want to steal it." Drakken says trying to take it.
Only for Dementor to hide it behind his back. "Too bad. Come, my loyal henchmen." Dementor snaps his fingers and tall muscular men dressed in silver body suits with black belts, gloves, and boots with red jetpacks, front flipped out of the base.
Drakken looked at his out-of-shape or very skinny men. "To the skies!"
Dementor and his men flew off at that. "I really wanted that pan-dimensional vortex inducer."
Middleton High, Morning.
"Come on, girl. You don't think it's a big deal?"
Monique asked Kim as they were at her locker. "Not such. We've only been dating for six months."
"Kim, it's your half-iversay!"
"Weeell…" Kim holds up a metal wallet. "I did get Naruto a little something. What do you think?"
"Not the first thing I would get."
"It's only been six months, Monique, I don't wanna scare him by getting something too big," Kim replied to her.
"Good gift."
"Hey, Kim."
Naruto greeted as he hugged her from behind, before Kim looked back nervously. "Oh, before we go, I got you a little present."
Naruto blinked at that. "For what?"
"Well, today is our half-iversary," Kim replies as she turns to hug him.
"That's great! What the hell's a half-iversary?"
Smack!
"Ow!"
"Dating for six months. Half a year?" Monique replied as Naruto rubbed the back of his head.
"And that's how you treat your boyfriend at a very important celebration?"
"You didn't even know what it was until now," Kim said, crossing her arms.
"Still…" Naruto muttered before she handed him the wallet. "Thanks, that'll come in handy for missions…"
"You don't have to give me any…" She trailed off as Naruto held up a silver bracelet with her birthstone around it in several places. "Monique may have tipped me off."
"(Gasp!) Naruto! I love it!" She hugged him again before pulling back. "Now mine seems so…"
"It's alright, I found a sale," Naruto replied before putting it on her left wrist. "Or I'm lying so that means I'm the better one in the relationship."
She narrowed her eyes at him before he pulled her in for a kiss.
Later, the group is in a class when Mr. Barkin walks in. "Alright, listen up. I regret to inform you that Ms. Jenkins made a mistake many first-year teachers make. She ate the cafeteria meatloaf." The class gasped at that as he continued. "Now, until she's out of intensive care, I'll be covering her class. So let's begin with a pop quiz."
"Uh, Mr. Barkin, we were supposed to present our personal history projects today," Kim replied, holding her left hand up, bracelet shining in the light.
"Personal history project?"
"It's great. We each did a project that explores who we are." Monique smiled as Barkin looked over. "There was only one rule… Have fun."
"Have fun? No wonder the meatloaf got her; she's weak. Alright, bring on the projects," Barkin says as the students turn in their projects.
Later, Ron held up a bulletin board with pictures of him as a kid, a Jewish temple, and him reading in front of the synagogue and a certificate.
"We all know Ron Stoppable is "the man" but can we prove it? I believe we can, with this collage."
"Collage? That's a French word, isn't it?" Barkin asks as he leans to look at the pictures and papers. "Points off for that."
"It's all here, Mr. B… From birth to bar mitzvah and beyond." Ron smiled as Barkin looked at the certificate.
"I'm not so sure about this."
"Don't feel bad. Many people are unfamiliar with Jewish traditions. The Bar Mitzvah occurs when a boy is 13 years old. It's ferociously cool. You go to temple, read from the Torah, and, boom, you're a man. My rabbi even printed out a souvenir certificate, which he signed." Ron smiled and pointed at the certificate.
"Correction… Which he did not sign."
"No way. Rabbi Katz definitely…" Ron trailed off as he looked down at the certificate.
BAR MITZVAH
X_
"… Did not sign it."
"Some would say that you're reading from the Torah before the assembly. That's what's important." Barkin said to Ron who looked at him.
"Yeah? You think so?"
"I said some, not me. I'm a stickler for detail. You got a certificate here. You're parading around, and it's not signed!"
"Oh, no."
Stoppable Household Evening.
"I can't believe it. I've been living a lie all these years."
Ron said at the dinner, as his parents looked at him
Both have short blonde hair and glasses. His mother's wearing a pink turtleneck skirt and shoes.
His father is average height and stocky, wearing a blue collared shirt and brown pants.
"Oh, Ronnie, you have not been living a lie." His mother said to him.
"Have so."
"If it makes you feel better, drop by temple tomorrow and get Rabbi Katz to sign it." Mr. Stoppable said before his wife looked at him.
"Well, no, honey. It'll have to wait till next week. Rabbi Katz is at that Rabbinical conference in Vegas, remember?"
"Oh, right."
"Oh. So, I've got to wait a whole other week to be a man?" Ron whines before his father looks at him.
"That stuff is not what makes you a man."
"It's the only proof I've got."
"What's important now is what kind of man are you?" His father asks as Rufus eats Ron's plate.
"I don't know. Rufus, what do you think?"
Drakken's Hideout.
"Inadequate. It's the only word for it."
Drakken said to his men before showing footage of them failing to do their missions, training, or just eating at fast food places. "I stand corrected. It's not only inadequate. It is embarrassing."
"So, do what Professor Dementor does," Shego says, filing her nails from her seat.
"And what is that?"
"Visit Jack Hench." She replied, glancing up.
"Aah. Oh, please. Every villain on the planet uses Hench. Not me. I paddle my own canoe, thank you very much." He replies to her, having the villainess scoff.
"You're just too cheap."
"The man's prices are outrageous." He says as she stands and walks to the exit.
"Alright, I'll infiltrate his research facility and, you know, maybe I can find some free samples."
Drakken waved her off at that. "Please. Hench never gives free anything. He… Oh. You mean stealing, don't you?" He asks as realization dawns on him.
"Doy."
"Very good, then. Steal something wonderful."
Middleton High Next Day.
"Oh, hey."
A depressed Ron walked into Barkin. "Sorry, Mr. B."
"I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for your current funk." The teacher explained to the teen.
"Actually, I'm on to a new funk. My dad said the question isn't, "Am I a man?" It's, "What kind of man?" And I got to tell you, I'm just not sure."
"Well, that's easy. You're small and weak." Barkin replies.
"Excuse me?!" Ron blinks as he looks up.
"Stoppable, the ideal man is big and/or strong. You are neither."
"I get by," Ron says to him
"You get rescued by a girl."
"Sometimes. Naruto mostly, and would you say that to him?"
"No, but Uzumaki is a man, he used to play sports before dropping out to help save the world," Barkin says to Ron.
"So do I!" Ron says before Kim pulls him away with Naruto.
"Been looking everywhere for you, Ron. Hey, Mr. Barkin."
"Possible, Uzumaki."
"Kim, how often would you say that you rescued me?" Ron asks Kim.
"Uh, I don't know. Sometimes."
"Frequently for me." Naruto shrugged as they stopped at Kim's locker and opened it to show Wade on the computer screen.
"OK, Wade, we're here. What's the sitch?"
"We got a hit on the site from a Jack Hench."
"Who?" Kim blinks before Wade types and replies.
"This guy is a total mystery. Nobody knows what he does. Whatever it is, he makes some serious cash." He says showing a picker of a fair-skinned man with slicked-back black hair wearing a black suit jacket over a purple shirt and pink tie with tan pants.
"Wait till you see his private jet."
They turned to see a very advanced and expensive silver jet land outside like a helicopter.
Hench-Co.
"Oh! Why you must be Kim Possible, Naruto Uzumaki, and Ron Stoppable!"
The three in their mission wear walked into a room where a blonde-haired, fair-skinned man sat at a desk with a headset on.
"I'll let Mr. Hench know you're here. Please, please, take a seat."
"Thanks," Kim replies and they sit on the couch by the wall as the man answers the phone.
"Hench-Co. Hold, please."
"I don't like this." Kim sighs, arms crossed.
"Me, either," Ron replies looking at a magazine. "These questions they're asking. "Manliness Quiz?" Ha."
"I meant the whole Hench-Co vibe." Kim sighs and walks up to the man. "Excuse me, could you please get me some bottled water?
"You bet." He nods and walks off.
Kim then walked behind the desk and looked through the files. "Anything?" Naruto asks as Kim looks at each file.
"Señor Senior, Sr.? Professor Dementor? This guy Hench deals with every villain bent on global conquest."
"OK. My manly score could not be that low. Kim, check my math?" Ron asks, walking over until Kim pulls him towards Jack's office door.
"Come on." She hacks it with her Kimmunicator and they walk in to see it is a hall.
They then stopped as men in purple bodysuits came out of hidden doors on the walls and ceiling. Naruto and Kim then started beating the men as Ron got out of the way.
"People, people."
They stopped as Jack Hench walked up to the group. "Miss Possible is my guest."
The men then went back into the hidden doors as Jack clapped and turned to the teens as Ron spoke to the men. "That's a good call, fellows 'cause, you know, I was primed to make my move."
"The hero and the sidekicks. Classic." Jack says as he walks up to them.
"So, this was a trap?"
"Not at all. According to your Web site, you help people, and, Miss Possible, I need help."
He takes them to his office where a gold ring is on his desk. "You're showing us a ring." Ron muses as Kim looks at him.
"It's no ordinary ring, Ron." She said before scanning it. "It operates on a molecular level, right?"
"You are a smart one." Jack smiles as he picks the ring up. "That's exactly right. This is my molecular muscle enhancer."
He then brings up a video of a skinny man putting the ring on, twisting it, and growing very muscular and taller.
"That rocks," Ron says as Jack smiles.
"That's what I said when those crazy kids down in Research and Development came up with it.
"Instant muscles," Kim says as Jack nods.
"Exactly. Does it get any better? I don't think so. Then that jerk Drakken had to send in Shego." He sighs and sits on the couch in the room.
"Drakken?" Kim raised an eyebrow as Ron looked over.
"Shego?"
"She stole the whole batch. Except for this one." Jack explained holding the ring up.
"And we should care about this, why?" Kim asked Jack.
"Miss Possible, Kim..."
"Miss Possible."
"OK, fine." He waved his hands at that. "Anyway, you fight a lot of villains, right?"
"Yeah." She nods in reply.
"And they usually have henchman, right?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Where do you think the name came from?" Jack smiles as he stands. "Here at Hench-Co, we're building a better henchman. I'd like to think that we're performing a service for the community."
"The evil community."
"But sure, this guy runs a shady business but, I mean, come on. That technology in Drakken's hands?" Ron whispers to her.
"Good point. OK, we're on it." Kim said to Jack before walking out.
"Great!" Jack smiled before Ron, who was last, took the ring.
"And this will be crucial to our investigation." Ron then left with the others.
Stoppable Household.
"Oh, great, you're home."
Ron's father said from the couch, reading a newspaper as Ron got to the stairs leading up. "I've been wanting to talk to you about your crisis."
"The crisis? Oh, oh, no, that's over." Ron said as he turned from the step he was on.
"Really? That fast?"
"Let's just say I found an instant solution."
"Oh?" His father blinks. "But I worked up some real good advice about manhood."
"Oh, really? That's cool. Um... hey, you give Rufus the download. He'll brief me later." Ron pulled Rufus up and had the mole rat go to the couch and sit with a notepad.
"Uh... OK."
Ron meanwhile walked into his room and put the ring on before twisting it, gaining muscles.
Drakken's Hideout.
"Molecular muscle enhancement. I love it!"
Drakken laughs at his now muscular men. "Now that you are manly men, we will steal the pan-dimensional vortex and do so, which was ours to steal in the first place. Shego, have you located Professor Dementor's latest lair?"
"Yeah, but it looks like nobody's home." She replied looking over her shoulder from the computer.
"Oh, revenge was to be mine but now Professor Dementor has vanished without a trace. Oh, cruel fate. Maybe I should call him. I've got him on speed dial." Drakken pulled his phone out and hit a number before hearing Dementor's voice.
"Hello?"
"Where are you hiding, you cursed-?"
"I can't take your call right now."
"The machine." Drakken sighed.
"I've taken my entire staff AND NEWLY ACQUIRED PAN-DIMENSIONAL VORTEX INDUCER! And we're off to Las Vegas. Leave a message at the tone! (Beep!)"
"(Groan.) He's so brazen." Drakken groaned, hanging the phone up by throwing it on the floor.
Middleton High.
"Awesome."
"He's awesome."
Ron smiled as he walked down the hall with his muscles and came to his locker. "Man, can't see past my pecs. Ah, well."
He then tore the door off as Kim, Naruto, and Monique walked up. "Ron, what happened?"
"Molecular muscle enhancer," Kim replied to her as Ron flexed his arms.
"See, I never would have guessed that." Monique smiled at that as Kim narrowed her eyes at Ron.
"Take it off, Ron."
"No way! I finally feel like a man."
"Muscles do not make a man." Naruto sighed.
"Spoken like a jealous one."
Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose at that. 'I swear sometimes I think I'm in some sort of TV show.'
"Stoppable?"
Naruto looked to see Brick with the football team walking up. "Yo, Brick."
"You seem... different." Brick blinked, not realizing Ron's muscularity.
"It's just me. You know, hanging. Being manly." Ron smiled before the team spoke together.
"Cool."
"Yeah. It is. Who's the man?"
"OK, since when do you care what Brick and those other guys think?" Monique asked Ron who looked back.
"Since just now when they accepted me."
"Ron, look."
Beep, Beep Ba-Beep!
Kim stops and answers her Kimmunicator. "Hey, Wade. Guess who decided to try out the molecular muscle enhancer?"
"Ron."
"How did you know?" Ron asked, smiling at his muscles.
"The enhancer gives off a weird energy signature." The genius replied, holding a cup of soda.
"Oh, yeah. Hey, Kim, what's an energy signature?" Ron whispers to Kim before Wade brings up a shot of the school with a green dot.
"Ron, you are here."
"Hey, you're the dot." Monique smiled as Ron moved and saw the dot follow.
"The manly dot."
"So, Wade, if you scan for a bunch of green dots…" Kim trailed off as Wade came up with a smile.
"We'll find out where Drakken is. Already did it. He's in Vegas." Wade spoke as Kim blinked
"He's where?"
"At Las Vegas, Las Vegas Resort." Wade replied showing a resort with a bunch of dots on it.
"The manly resort."
"Ugh." Kim sighed before walking as Naruto followed.
Nevada Las Vegas, Las Vegas Resort.
"Las Vegas, the place where vengeance will be mine."
Drakken smiled outside the resort as Shego walked up to him and his men. "I spotted Professor Dementor and his boys."
"Poised to threaten the free world with that pan-dimensional vortex inducer?" Drakken asked as Shego pointed to the fence showing Dementor lounging on a pool float drinking from a glass.
"Uh... No, actually, they're chilling by the pool."
"How does he find time to relax? Why does he get to have it all?" Drakken growled, walking over and tried opening the gate. "Stupid gate."
"Uh, sir, the pool area is for hotel guests only. You need a room key," An employee said, walking by the gate on the inside.
"Fine! We'll check into the hotel, then we will steal the stolen pan-dimensional vortex inducer, and then vengeance will finally be mine!" Drakken yelled, waking inside, and saw the man at the counter dressed in a 1950s suit.
"Welcome to Las Vegas, Las Vegas, pally." He greeted him in a Jersey accent. "What can I do for you?"
"Yes…" Drakken looked at the nameplate before continuing. "Jilly from Jersey. Hmm. I need a room."
"Sorry, baby. But we are booked with the cuckoo conventions."
"Fine. Whatever. Just hand over a key so I can get into the pool." Drakken sighed holding his hand out.
"Easy, Clyde. The swim is for registered cats only, you dig?"
"That's what I'm trying to do, you annoying little poser!" Drakken grabs Jilly at that.
"Uh, get the hands off the suit... quick."
"You... get... I… Shego!"
He walks off just as Kim, in her mission outfit, walks up to the counter. "Welcome to Las Vegas, Las Vegas, chickie baby."
"Yeah, hi. Have you seen this guy?" She brought up her Kimmunicator with Drakken's mugshot.
"A ring-a-ding-ding."
Outside, Kim tried opening the gate to the pool as Naruto sighed. "Really couldn't lie and say we had a relative in the resort?"
Kim ignored her boyfriend as she had Rufus jump over and hit the handle open. "Ta-da!"
Later, the group is lounging, looking around before Drakken, Shego and their men rappel down the building. And had Dementor's men open windows and cut the ropes, having them fall in the pool. They got out as Dementor walked up holding the device. "Looking for... this? Hmm?"
"The pan-dimensional vortex inducer!"
"The pan-dimensional vortex inducer?" Kim asked, raising an eyebrow as Ron leaned over.
"What do the rings have to do with the pan-dimensional vortex inducer?"
"Obviously Drakken needed to steal from Dementor, so thought the rings gave him a leg up," Naruto replied before hearing Dementor see them attack and leave as Kim pulled her Kimmunicator up.
"Wade, what have you got on Professor Dementor?"
"OK. Several days ago he stole a pan-dimensional vortex inducer from a research facility in the Rocky Mountains."
"Why am I just finding out about this now?" Kim asked him, narrowing her eyes.
"Um... local, federal, and international law enforcement are on the case. They... thought they didn't need you."
"Well, I guess they thought wrong. Come on, guys. Let's move."
"Way ahead of you, K.P." Ron spoke, going to a door and pulling it off. And revealed a group of rabbis inside. "My bad."
"Excuse us." Kim pulled Ron away before walking down the hall and into Drakken, having them fight before Ron was thrown back into the previous room.
He blinked seeing one he recognized. "Rabbi Katz?"
"Ronald?" Katz helped Ron up. "Ronald Stoppable?"
"Yeah. What are you doing here?" Ron asked as Katz gestured to the other rabbis.
"It's a rabbinical conference. Ronald, have you been working out or something?"
"Nice, huh?" Ron smiled before blinking. "By the way, did you know you forgot to sign my bar mitzvah certificate?"
"Really? Certainly, I'll sign it as soon as I get back to Middleton."
"No, no, it's not necessary." Ron waved him off at that.
"I would have to agree. The bar mitzvah ceremony itself is what counts, Ronald."
"What counts is this." Ron flexes as Katz blinks.
"What, your muscles?"
"Let's face it. If I got any more manly the world couldn't handle me."
"Ronald, I think you're confused," Katz said before Drakken's men got to the door.
"You better lay low, Rabbi K. I got to take care of Business... Ron style."
Ron ran over to tackle the men as Kim and Naruto ran to the escalator and saw the device on the railing. Kim grappled up and grabbed it before fighting with Shego, having it get knocked over to Drakken with the top and bottom lines glowing red and started beeping. "Thank you, Kimberly. What's that beeping?"
"It's been activated," Dementor said as Drakken blinked.
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Don't you have any idea what the pan-dimensional vortex inducer does?" Dementor asks him.
"Something very dangerous, I'm sure or else it wouldn't be top secret."
"How dangerous?" Kim asks the villains.
"The vortex it creates will be a contained disruption in the very fabric of reality!"
"States... time... energy?" Drakken muttered before Dementor continued
"All will be twisted in a vortex of pure chaos!"
Drakken then tossed it into a vent and walked away. "Let's get out of here!"
"Did I mention that the vortex will be the size of the state of Nevada?!
"Oh, ho, ho. We're in Nevada. How ironic." Drakken says as Naruto jumps in it and grabs the device before slamming it to shut it off.
"It's off!"
Stoppable Household Night.
Ron, talking with Katz and his father, concluded that he didn't need muscles to prove he was a man before having the rabbi sign his certificate and having his mother hug him and kiss his cheek.
"There you go, Ronald. Now it's official."
"My little boy is a man. Again."
"Congratulations." His father smiled before Ron yelled.
"Boo-yah!"
To Be Continued.
A/N: Thanks for reading and let me know of any mistakes
Beta: Chaos-PSD and ANUBIS the god king.
Remember to vote if you haven't!
Next to be updated will be Totally Spies, Dattebayo!
Nothing else to say.
Talk To You Later,
Lone Wolf Out.🐺