Content Warning: This chapter contains brief, non-detailed references to the topic of suicide.

'So?' The clock struck the hour, and Shadow pulled the IV lines out of his arm. The needles glimmered in his hand. The background noise of the recovery ward faded to a distant murmur, and he met Silver's gaze. 'If you're so convinced that I'm going to die, then how is it going to happen?'

Silver glanced down at the whiteboard in his hand. 'If I knew how you were going to die, then we wouldn't be in this position in the first place. But I think I've worked out what the possibilities are.'

Shadow put his legs over the side of the bed and pulled on his shoes, locking his inhibitor rings into place. 'I would hope so. Between the surgery and my recovery, you've had four hours to work this out.'

'There are three ways that this could go. The first is that you die from one of the procedures.'

Shadow grunted and shook his head. 'That's not going to happen. As long as I have enough Chaos Energy, then I can recover from any illness or injury.'

'Even cancer?'

'Even cancer.'

Silver spun the whiteboard pen in his fingers, then stopped. 'But you nearly drained the Chaos Emerald that you used to accelerate your recovery, didn't you? Are you sure that you'll be able to recover from something so … severe?'

Shadow glanced down, briefly materialising the emerald in one hand. The yellow gem had a dull lustre. It wasn't fully drained of colour and shine, but its power was only a quiet whisper now. 'I can find more Chaos Emeralds. I can also remove my inhibitor rings if the situation calls for it.'

'If you nearly dying doesn't call for you to remove your inhibitor rings, I don't know what would.' Silver stared at the rings on Shadow's wrists for a moment. 'The second possibility is that someone inside the hospital will make an attempt on your life.'

'Not likely.' Shadow began to unwind the bandages around his legs, waist and chest, revealing small scars that looked like silver threads woven into his fur. 'Between the doctors, the patients and their families, no one would have the motivation or the ability to kill me.'

'Then the third option is that someone or something from outside the hospital will try to kill you.'

Shadow got off the hospital bed and pulled on his uniform jacket. '… That's the most likely explanation.' He rested his hands in his pockets and looked out the window of the recovery ward, towards GUN's headquarters. 'Between the protests and the terror attacks, there are a lot of people calling for blood right now … but whose blood they're calling for is up for debate. Not that it matters, seeing as no mere human would be able to kill me.'

'Shadow?' Silver had turned pale, and his voice was strangled. 'What are you talking about?'

Shadow blinked. Then he yanked up the zipper on his jacket and sighed. 'There's been a lot going on. People have been protesting against GUN and the fact that they're still using me as a weapon. Depending on who you ask, it's either a rights violation or a national security risk. I couldn't give less of a damn about the details – what matters is that extremists have begun hijacking the protests for the sake of their own goals.'

Silver grabbed Shadow's arm, and his voice was tense. 'What goals?'

Shadow shrugged Silver off and glared at him. 'Don't ask me. I'm not a part of the official investigation. All I know is that some people are praising GUN for their past actions and saying that they've nothing wrong.'

'Wait.' Silver's hand hovered in midair, and his eyes glimmered like shards of broken amber. 'GUN massacred countless people during the Ark Disaster, and they staged the biggest government cover-up in the history of the United Federation in order to whitewash their actions … and you're telling me that there are people out there who still think that they did nothing wrong?!'

Silver's raised voice drew the attention of some of the nearby medical staff, and Shadow grabbed Silver's shoulder, digging in his fingers. 'Keep your voice down.'

'I'm sorry, but … Shadow, this isn't insignificant. Did it ever occur to you that this could have something to do with your death?'

Shadow's pulse quickened. 'People talk about me all the time, and GUN has been under criticism for as long as I've worked there. This isn't new.'

'It might not be new, but it is different. You know that, right? Why didn't you think to tell me?'

Shadow crossed his arms tightly. 'Like I said, I'm not part of the official investigation. I've had other things on my mind.'

'How could you not be part of the investigation when it directly concerns you –'

'Damn it, Silver!' Shadow snapped. 'They refused to let me join the investigation because they thought I would be a liability! I have no idea what the hell is happening over there, so give it a rest!'

'Can you two take this outside, please?' one of the nurses asked. 'You're disturbing the other patients.

'S-Sorry,' Silver said.

Shadow waited until the nurse had left, and then he lowered his voice. '… If you want to know more, then go to GUN's headquarters and ask Rouge to tell you what she's uncovered so far. Don't tell her about my death. Just say that you and I want to know whether the terrorism investigation has uncovered anything that could pose a security risk to me or the hospital.'

'Are you sure that you don't want to tell Rouge or Abraham what might happen?'

Shadow gave Silver a warning look. 'Not yet, at least. I don't want people to panic. I don't want rumours to begin spreading, either. I have enough to deal with already.'

'All the more reason that you shouldn't have to deal with this on your own –'

'Silver.' Shadow's hand found its way to the medals on his jacket, and he felt the familiar bite of their sharp edges within his closed fist. 'I may have taken those anxiolytics two hours ago, but they already wore off weeks ago. Do you understand what I'm saying? For both your sake and mine … drop it.'

Silver stiffened and wiped the whiteboard clean with a tissue, tossing it onto the bed. 'Fine. Fine. So I just need to go to GUN's headquarters and ask for Rouge?'

Shadow heard the sound of gurney wheels, and he glanced up to see two orderlies wheeling a hospital bed out of the operating theatre complex. He caught a glimpse of Makena's cloud-like hair, and he pivoted to keep her in her field of view. '… Yes.'

'Will you be all right on your own?'

'All the drugs I was on have already worn off. I'm fully capable of defending myself.'

'… That wasn't what I meant.'

Shadow's gaze snapped from the gurney to Silver, and for a moment, he was at a loss for words. 'Get out of here before I have to roundhouse kick you again.'

Before he had time to wonder why he had said 'again', Silver gave him an unimpressed look and stalked off, disappearing through the doors of the operating theatre complex.

Shadow walked in the opposite direction, scanning the bays in the recovery ward until he caught sight of Makena. He slowed to a halt. She wasn't awake yet, and she still had a venous cannula embedded in her arm.

'You doing all right?'

Shadow flinched as he saw Alex walking over to him. He swiftly averted his gaze as she stood beside him and leaned against the wall. '… I didn't have a seizure, at least.'

Alex sighed. 'I know midazolam can cause seizures, but that wasn't what I was asking.'

'What do you want me to say?' Shadow crossed his arms, focusing on Makena. 'I could have gotten some of your patients killed. I shouldn't be doing "all right".' His fingers dug into his upper arms, and he caved in, looking up at her. 'Why haven't you kicked me out yet? Hell, why hasn't the hospital called the program off?'

'It's not my call to make.' Alex followed his gaze to Makena and sighed. 'I asked our administrators to fax the original reports to GUN's biomedical department. Then their biomedical chief showed up here at the hospital. Once she found out that there weren't any immediate risks to any of the patients, she said that she urgently needed to talk to Commander Tower.'

Shadow grimaced. At some point during his surgery, Verity must have debriefed Abraham on what had happened to the hospital records. 'Then why did you still go ahead with Makena's surgery?'

'We didn't have a choice, Shadow.'

Shadow heard the familiar click of Iain's cane, and he winced, glancing up as the older man joined them. 'Director.'

For once, Iain wasn't smiling, and his tone was sombre. 'Once Dr Alexandrite had finished your surgery, she and I had to discuss your actions with Commander Tower and Dr Verity. I was the one who said that we should call off the program, but …'

'But what?'

'Commander Tower said that it would be in everyone's best interests that the program continues as planned.'

Shadow began to feel sick. 'Everyone's best interests? What about the patients that could have died because of my mistake?'

Iain's grip tightened on the handle of his cane. 'The commander was quite clear that this wasn't his decision. He knows full well that his grandson being in the program presents a significant conflict of interest on his part.'

'I don't understand. If it wasn't Abraham's decision to continue with the program … then whose was it?'

Iain gave Shadow an uncertain look. 'Abraham Tower is GUN's highest-ranking military commander. He may be your superior officer, but he doesn't have the final say on decisions like this, especially those decisions regard non-military matters.' Iain hesitated and said, 'Much like our hospital, GUN has a board of directors. My understanding is that Abraham relayed their decision to us. It was never his decision in the first place.'

Shadow's pulse began to quicken again, an unwelcome reminder of the cross-examination he'd endured at Abraham and Verity's hands mere hours earlier. 'So? Who cares whether GUN's board of directors thinks that it's in everyone's best interests for the program to continue?' Shadow pressed a hand to his chest, saying, 'I was the one who originally warned you that GUN doesn't have your patients' best interests in mind, remember?'

'I know.' Iain looked down at the linoleum, and his shoulders slumped. 'But you're also a part of GUN, aren't you?' He gestured at the GUN logo on the armband of Shadow's jacket. 'And while you may have been misguided at times, I saw how far you were willing to go to help us.'

Shadow shook his head, and he could feel his shoulders tensing. 'Don't say that like it's a good thing. I went too far. '

'Your inability to be stopped is both a strength and a weakness, Shadow. I wasn't just talking about your recent indiscretions, either. I was talking about everything you've done to help us since you first came here.'

Shadow said nothing for a moment. 'I may be here on GUN's behalf, but my actions don't reflect their motives. They sent me here in an attempt to clean up their public image, and what's worse … it's working.' His voice tightened, and he said, 'You took my willingness to help you as a sign that GUN had good intentions, but at the end of the day, they only care about themselves. It was their very self-centeredness that caused me to go behind their backs and put people in danger in the first place.' Shadow blinked in confusion and stared at Iain. 'Why can't the hospital just withdraw from the program?'

'Many of our patients are already being prepared for the procedures that you'll be assisting with,' Alex said. 'Some of them are already undergoing the irradiation therapy or chemotherapy. If we pull out of the program, many children like Makena will be left stranded … in more ways than one. If GUN is already willing to permit it … then the circumstances require us push on for their sakes.'

Shadow buried his face in one hand and looked at her through the gaps in his gloved fingers. 'You told me that many of the families who joined the program are in bad financial positions. Please tell me that they aren't paying for preparative regimens on top of everything else.'

Alex shrugged helplessly. 'We've been underfunded for years. We can only cover the primary costs of clinical trials and experimental programs. If we attempted to cover the patients' secondary costs as well, then we would have to close our doors.'

Iain coughed, and his expression soured. 'On that note, Commander Tower relayed another sentiment from GUN's board of directors. He said that GUN would be willing to financially compensate the hospital for any inconvenience that was caused by your actions.'

Shadow's eyes widened in horror. 'What the hell? Are you telling me that GUN tried to bribe the hospital so that you wouldn't pull out of the program?'

'That isn't what I said.'

'But that is what you meant, isn't it?'

'Shadow.' Alex gave him a strange look. 'You truly don't see yourself as one of GUN's agents, do you? If Director Hawthorne was more forthright, then you could relay his words to GUN, and then they could sue the hospital for slander or defamation.'

Shadow slammed one fist against the wall, startling a passing nurse. 'They're the ones who tried to bribe you in the first place!' He exhaled, and his hand fell back to his side as he leaned against the wall, anchoring himself. 'Well? Did you accept?'

'Of course not,' Iain scowled. 'We may need the money, but bribery is a serious offence. This isn't the same thing as a hospital director using personal donations to influence what goes on in the hospital.'

'Still, you should have taken them up on it,' Shadow muttered. 'You could have done far more good with that money than GUN could do in a hundred years.'

Iain sighed, and he put a hand on Shadow's shoulder. 'At the rate things are going, I don't think we want to become any more indebted to GUN than we already are.'

'You're not indebted to them. I'm the one helping you.'

'We know that, and we're grateful for your efforts. But GUN is still the one facilitating the program. You wouldn't be allowed to help us without their approval, would you?'

'It doesn't matter what I'm allowed to do.' Shadow closed his eyes briefly. 'And it doesn't matter what GUN says. I still don't trust them, and neither should you.'

Iain heaved a sigh. 'You were right, you know. You're doing far more to restore the public's trust in GUN than they ever could on their own. You're like a poster child for the organisation. Their golden boy, if you would.'

Shadow's skin began to crawl, and he started scratching at his arm through his sleeve. 'I chose to come here, but if I'd realised just how much they would benefit from it … Maybe I would have chosen differently.'

Iain's gaze was fixed on Shadow's arm. In the sudden silence, Shadow realised how loud the sound of his fingers scraping against his jacket sleeve was. He stiffened and tightly crossed his arms.

'Dr Alexandrite,' Iain said. 'Would you excuse us for a moment?'

Alex shrugged. 'You got it. I just came here to monitor Makena's condition as her anaesthesia wears off.' She left, stepping into Makena's bay and out of immediate earshot.

Shadow gave Iain a sharp look. 'What is it?'

'I meant to ask you this sooner, but it kept slipping my mind.' Iain tapped his cane on the ground as he seemingly searched for the right words. 'A fair few of us have read your medical records over the course of the program. I noticed that you have C-PTSD.'

'What of it?'

Iain looked Shadow up and down, and his expression was sympathetic. 'Do you also have hyperarousal?'

Shadow's brow creased. 'What is that?'

Iain's eyes widened slightly. 'It's also known as hypervigilance. It's a symptom of PTSD … the mental health condition that you were diagnosed with.'

Shadow scoffed, and he felt the knot in his chest begin to loosen. 'I was never formally diagnosed with anything. GUN must have slapped a label on my memory issues at some point and called it a day.'

'Shadow, you were definitely diagnosed. And according to your records, your C-PTSD diagnosis was made back in 2005.'

'It was?' Shadow frowned, and then realisation dawned on him. 'Oh. I joined GUN in 2005. They made me self-assess for risks and sign a waiver during the onboarding process. I don't even remember what box I checked on the form.'

With every word that left Shadow's mouth, Iain looked more and more horrified. 'Shadow, self-assessment isn't the same thing as a diagnosis, and your records indicate that you were clinically diagnosed by a doctor. Don't you remember?'

Shadow shrugged. 'I thought they were just stating a fact.'

'What do you mean?'

'I kept having flashbacks, and I've had memory problems for most of my life. I just didn't know there was a name for it until one of GUN's medical doctors told me.'

Iain seemed dazed. 'Shadow … PTSD isn't just about whether you have flashbacks and memory loss. There are many more symptoms, including hyperarousal.'

Shadow shifted his weight and gave Iain a glare. 'You keep bringing that up. Are you a diagnostician?'

'No, but I used to be a field medic. Even though it seems that you developed PTSD before you joined the military, I've still been around the block a few times. I know what it looks like.'

'So what if I have PTSD? It doesn't affect my combat abilities.'

Iain flinched. 'While PTSD doesn't automatically disqualify someone from joining the military, it's a miracle that GUN let you enlist in the first place.'

'Why?' Shadow dug one heel into the wall, and his thrusters began to hiss. 'What's so shocking about it?'

'That waiver you signed should have asked you to provide a history of effective treatment, stability, and a period of time free from symptoms. I don't know whether your condition has deteriorated since then, but your symptoms are … self-evident. That's why I asked whether you had hyperarousal in the first place. You check all the boxes for it.'

'It doesn't concern you.' Shadow could feel anger beginning to simmer in his chest, and he tried to temper his voice. 'What damn boxes am I checking, anyway?'

Iain gave him a weary look. 'You frequently have aggressive outbursts.'

'I do not –' Shadow froze, and the memories began to trickle back. He had yelled at Rouge for accepting his medals on his behalf, and he had nearly choked Abraham unconscious in a fit of rage.

'You're also constantly tense and on guard.'

'It's part of my training …' Despite his best efforts, Shadow couldn't help but remember the words Abraham had told him in his office. I'm not a threat to you. You're not on the field right now. You're safe. Shadow had been standing in one of the most secure locations in the country at the time, but his muscles had still been coiled tighter than steel springs.

'You frequently engage in reckless and destructive behaviour.'

Shadow stiffened. Iain was likely thinking about the risks he was taking at the expense of his health, not to mention the stunt he had pulled by altering the hospital records. But Shadow was thinking about what Rouge had told him at the shooting range. I've watched you chainsmoking on the roof in the rain, and I'm watching you try to drown out your thoughts with gunfire, and I'll be damned if watch you end up at the bottom of a bottle at Club 'Rouge'.

'You already told me that you have flashbacks.'

Shadow looked away, resisting the urge to begin clawing at his arm again. He'd always had flashbacks, but ever since he'd stepped through the doors of the hospital, they'd gotten even worse. It felt like there was something that would remind him of his past around every corner of every corridor. His flashbacks even haunted his dreams. He'd relived Maria's death over and over for 50 years, and his memories still shaped his nightmares to this day.

'Some people have difficulty concentrating.'

'I don't have that,' Shadow retorted, but he immediately recalled standing beneath the dissipating showers of red paint in front of GUN's headquarters, dazed and disoriented as Rouge tried in vain to get him to focus on what she was saying.

'Some people have insomnia or nightmares.'

'I don't need to sleep.' But deep down, Shadow knew he avoided sleeping because he didn't want to know what was waiting for him if he fell beneath the surface. And in the rare instances that he did risk closing his eyes, sleep often wasn't forthcoming.

'Some people exhibit emotional numbness or avoidance.'

Shadow tensed up and crossed his arms. At the hospital alone, he had insisted that things didn't affect him time and time again. He had also made the mistake of asking Iain whether he had to interact with the patients, and it had come back to bite him.

'Some people have a low threshold for startle responses.'

Shadow remembered the moment that he had turned on his heel and snarled at Iain moments after they had first met, all over a mere misunderstanding.

'Some people frequently experience sensory overload.'

Shadow said nothing, and fractured sensations flashed through his head – the texture of red acrylic paint, the stench of antiseptic, the beep of heart rate monitors and the clink of the medals on his chest.

'Some people have a sense of guilt –'

'Stop saying "some people",' Shadow snarled. 'You're clearly talking about me, aren't you?'

'I don't know you personally, Shadow. Doctors can only assess a problem by examining the symptoms that we can observe, and even then, our diagnoses aren't always correct.'

'Is that what I am, then?' Shadow tightened his grip on his upper arms. 'A problem?'

'You're a person, which is why I'm not willing to blindly guess what symptoms you do or don't have.' Ian looked down, and his gaze landed on Shadow's hands. '… Some people experience shaking and trembling.'

Shadow followed his gaze, and he froze. His fingers were twitching. He took a shallow breath and said, 'It doesn't matter. None of this matters.'

'It does matter, Shadow. Chronic stress and hyperarousal can lead to an untold number of health complications –'

'I don't give a damn!' Shadow splayed one hand against his chest, and anger bled into his voice. 'No matter what happens to me, my body can still withstand it. My condition doesn't affect my combat abilities, and as long as I don't make any more stupid mistakes, it won't affect my work here either.'

'That may be so, but do you really want to live like this for the rest of your life?'

'Of course I don't!' Shadow snapped. 'But I don't have a choice!'

A deathly silence swept through the recovery ward, and his words echoed loudly. Shadow's ears flattened against his head. He leaned against the wall, avoiding the stunned stares of the nearby doctors and nurses.

Iain dismissed the onlookers with a flick of his hand, waiting until the hospital staff had resumed their work before he spoke again. 'You were right.'

Shadow pressed his hands against the wall at his back, and he could feel his claws threatening to pierce through his gloves and sink into the drywall. 'About what?'

'It's becoming more evident to me that GUN really does only care about themselves. Because if they cared about your well-being, then they never should have let you enlist.'

'They were the ones who invited me, and I wanted to join. I chose this.' Shadow glanced down, and he tensed as he noticed the faint gleam of keratin through the stitching in the seams of his gloves.

'That's even worse, Shadow,' Iain repeated. 'They knew about your history, and their greed still won out in the end.'

Shadow jerked one thumb toward the swathe of emblems pinned to his jacket and said, 'My condition doesn't matter! I'm still capable of fighting. If I weren't, then I never would have been able to earn all of these damn medals in the first place. This is what I wanted!'

Iain forced a smile. 'Well, we don't always want what's good for us.'

'I was made to be a weapon,' Shadow said, and he could feel his desperation clawing at his ribcage, as though he was trying to break free of his own body. 'And I was made to be a cure. I don't know how to do anything other than what I was made for.'

Iain paused, considering Shadow's words. Then he stepped forward and leaned against the wall as well. 'I know your circumstances are unique. However, many people choose to believe that they were made for a specific purpose. "You were created for a reason" and all that. Mileage may vary based on your worldview.' Iain pried Shadow's hand from the wall, leaving faint prick marks in the off-white paint. 'But people also like to believe that "you are more than what you were made for".'

Shadow stowed his hands in his pockets. '… I'm not following you.'

'Take Commander Tower, for example. We might call him that, but he's not just a military commander, is he?'

'No.' Shadow shook his head in a daze. 'He's a tactician, and a mech pilot … and a grandfather.'

'Now you're getting it. What about that female friend of yours? The one you're constantly on the telephone with? What's her story?'

Shadow gritted his teeth and said, 'Rouge. Her name is Rouge. She's an intelligence agent, and a treasure hunter, and … my partner.'

'And what about you?'

'I'm a weapon, and a cure, and I'm …' Shadow looked down at his hands. To his dismay, he realised that they had begun to shake again.

'Steady on,' Iain said. 'I imagine you must be sick to death of this joke, but you truly do have all the time in the world. There's no rush.'

Shadow felt a bittersweet twinge in his chest. Why was it that he had only begun to glimpse the answers he was searching for after his immortality had already begun to slip through his fingers?

Iain glanced at Shadow's trembling hands, but he didn't stare. 'Shadow, I understand that even if GUN hadn't let you enlist, you likely wouldn't have taken no for an answer. But didn't they ever try to help you?'

Shadow stowed his hands in his pockets. 'They forced me to attend mandatory military counselling until my assigned counsellor shot himself in the head, and that was the last time they tried to "help" me.'

Iain exhaled slowly. 'Was this person one of GUN's employees?'

'Yes.' Shadow lowered his gaze to the floor. 'He'd devoted his entire life to working for GUN, and when I told him the truth about what they had done to me … it broke him.'

'That's madness. They should have sent you to a third-party service provider instead.'

'I said the same thing.' Shadow cleared his throat. 'I even warned GUN about what could happen, but they still refused to let me see someone else. They wouldn't let me discuss classified events with someone outside the organisation.'

Iain began to tap his cane against the ground again, and his knuckles were white. 'Classified events? Wouldn't most of these events be public knowledge at this stage?'

Shadow nodded tightly. 'I said as much, but GUN said they were still concerned about the risks. They probably wanted me to be afraid that I would get someone else killed … but no doubt they're just worried about how what I might say could reflect on them.'

'That's … dreadful.' Iain shook his head and rested his hand on Shadow's shoulder. 'You poor boy. You've been pushed from pillar to post, playing soldier because Uncle Sam asked you to, and now you're playing doctor instead.'

Shadow said nothing. His throat hurt from being intubated during surgery. His eyes burned from the constant flow of the air conditioning in the recovery ward. 'I'm not a child.'

'Are you really an adult if you never got to grow up?' Iain squeezed Shadow's shoulder. 'GUN may have put you in an icebox for half a century, but existing isn't the same thing as living. I know you ride a Harley Davidson, and I know you use expletives like commas, but you're not fooling me. How old are you supposed to be, son?'

'I'm …' Shadow looked down at his shaking fingers. He had been created as an ageless being, but he had only lived for a certain number of years. He had lived on the Ark for four years, and it had been a decade since he had first fallen to Earth. He looked up at Iain and gave him a weak smile. 'I-I think I might be young enough to be one of your patients.'

Iain gave him a regretful smile in return. 'In an ideal world, we would be the ones helping you, instead of the other way around.' His smile faded, and his voice had a certain gravity to it when he spoke again. 'I know you think that you have no choice but to live the rest of your life like this. But there are people out there who can help you, Shadow, despite what GUN might want you to believe. It sounds to me like GUN has taken far too much from you already. Don't let them take your future as well.'

'Shadow?'

It took a moment for Shadow to register the sound of Makena's voice. He turned, pushing off the wall and slowly walked over to her bed. The faint beeping of a monitor filled his ears. 'Hey.' He sat on the edge of the bed, and his voice sounded like it was coming from far away. 'You okay?'

Makena sat up with a wince, but she had a smile on her face. She held up one arm, and he could see the outlines of her bones beneath her skin. 'Better than ever!'

Shadow tore his gaze away and looked up at Alex. 'D-Did it work? Is she … '

'She's fine.' Alex pulled her surgical mask down and smiled. 'It will take several months for us to be fully confident that the transplants were successful, but we've cleared the first hurdle.'

'"She" is right here,' Makena said pointedly.

'Yeah.' Shadow stared at her, unable to believe his eyes. '... Yeah.'

It had worked. The damn procedure had finally worked. It had taken more than 50 years, but he had finally … cured someone.

His throat began to hurt again, and he cleared it with a cough. 'Makena, where's your mother?'

'She's at work.' Makena winced. 'She really wanted to be here, but her boss told her that he'd fire her if she didn't show up to work again, and she can't lose this job.' Her hand flew to her mouth, and she looked around. 'Oh! I told her I'd message her once I got out of the theatre, but I haven't gotten my phone back yet …'

Shadow dug into his pocket and pulled out his battered burner phone, passing it to her. 'Here.'

'… I don't know how to use a flip phone.'

Shadow bit the inside of his mouth, trying and failing to suppress a smile. 'I don't either.'

She stared at him for a moment, then she burst out laughing. 'Ok, give it here. It can't be that hard.'

'Good luck.' Shadow watched her squint at the keypad, and he heard the faint chirps and clicks of pressed buttons. He hesitated. Then he turned to Alex and leaned forward, motioning with one hand.

Alex sat down in the chair beside the bed. 'What is it?'

Shadow reached into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out his wallet. He unzipped it. Behind his driver's license was a credit card that he never used, in the same way that he never spent the money he received from GUN's paychecks. He pressed the credit card into Alex's hand.' Here.'

Alex's eyes widened in shock. 'Shadow, you don't have to.'

'I know I don't.'

'You don't have to try to make up for what you did.'

'I'm not. I may work for GUN, but I don't think like them. That's not what I'm trying to do here.' He looked over his shoulder at Makena. 'The kid should have her mother with her. That's all.'

Alex bit her lip. Then she gave him a fierce hug, and the edge of the credit card in her hand bit into his ribs. 'Now I know how you got that scar on your back,' she murmured. 'You must be an angel that lost his wings.'

The irony was bittersweet, and he let her hug him without pulling away. '… If only you knew.'