Chiron sighed, adjusting his posture in his wheelchair. He had lived a long life. A very long life. He had trained countless heroes, seen countless disasters, and dealt with far more demigod nonsense than any immortal should have to.
And yet…
This situation? This was still new.
Across from him, sitting on the porch railing, was the grinning little ghost of Percy Jackson, happily kicking his feet. Next to him, Cerberus had curled up in the dirt, his three heads resting lazily on the ground, sending occasional puffs of hot breath into the air.
The other Percy—the mortal one who was actually supposed to be here—was still staring, looking very much like someone struggling with a system crash. Annabeth sat next to him, arms crossed, eyes narrowed. Grover was in the middle of what seemed to be an existential crisis.
And behind them, quietly snickering in the background, was Dionysus.
"Let me get this straight," Annabeth finally said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "He's a ghost. An eight-year-old ghost. Who used to be Percy Jackson. Who lives in the Underworld. And somehow, he escapes every few years because… he gets bored?"
Chiron nodded tiredly. "That is correct."
Little Percy beamed. "I like fun!"
Mortal Percy just rubbed his face. "I can't believe I'm the mature one in this situation."
Dionysus snorted. "Miracles happen."
Chiron shot him a warning look before continuing. "No one knows exactly how Little Percy died. He doesn't remember, and Hades isn't sure how he ended up in the Underworld in the first place."
Little Percy shrugged. "I think I just… woke up there! But I don't mind. Cerberus is my best friend!" He turned and gave one of Cerberus's heads a big hug. The giant hellhound wagged his tails so hard the Big House shook.
Annabeth clutched the armrest of her chair like she was reconsidering her entire life. "Okay. But why does he keep escaping?"
Chiron sighed again. "No one knows. Not even Hades. He's tried everything short of actual fences, but nothing keeps Little Percy in Elysium for long."
Dionysus chuckled. "Hades' realm is full of unbreakable laws. None of them apply to that kid."
Little Percy just grinned, completely unbothered. "I like visiting! And adventuring! And snacks! Are there snacks?"
Grover whimpered. "What even is our life?"
Chiron ignored him. "Normally, this wouldn't be a major problem. However, Percy has arrived at a… rather inconvenient time."
Mortal Percy blinked. "You mean because of the whole 'lightning bolt was stolen and we're about to go on a super dangerous quest' thing?"
"Yes," Chiron said grimly.
There was a pause. Then Little Percy gasped dramatically. "A quest?" His entire face lit up like it was the best thing he had ever heard.
Annabeth stiffened. "Oh no."
"I love quests!" Little Percy cheered. "I'm coming too!"
Grover let out a strangled squeak. "But—but you're—
"Dead?" Dionysus offered helpfully.
"That," Grover yelped, "and you have a giant hellhound with you!"
Little Percy frowned. "So?"
Mortal Percy waved his hands wildly. "So we're supposed to be sneaky! You think people aren't going to notice this?" He gestured at Cerberus, who let out a happy woof that shook the trees.
Chiron cleared his throat. "Yes, well. That is a concern. But, on the other hand…" He hesitated, then gave a small smile. "Not many monsters would dare challenge a child traveling with the literal guardian of the Underworld."
Little Percy beamed. "See? We'll be safe!"
Annabeth groaned. "This is a disaster."
Dionysus just sipped his Diet Coke, clearly entertained. "I don't see the problem. If the brat gets vaporized, he'll just respawn in the Underworld like usual."
Mortal Percy turned to Chiron in alarm. "What does that mean?!"
Chiron coughed into his fist. "Ah. Yes. If something happens to Little Percy, he simply reappears in Elysium a few hours later, usually with no memory of what occurred."
Annabeth looked horrified. "So he just… pops back into existence?"
Little Percy nodded eagerly. "Yup! One time I got squished by a Cyclops, and then—poof! I was back in Elysium! It was fun!"
Grover buried his face in his hands. "I can't do this. I can't do this."
Chiron exhaled slowly. "Regardless, we cannot send Cerberus into the mortal world in his current form. He will have to—"
"—Shrink down?" Dionysus finished dryly. "Yeah, good luck with that."
Little Percy pouted. "But he's comfy like this!"
Chiron gave him a patient look. "Percy."
Little Percy sighed dramatically, then turned to Cerberus. "Okay, buddy. You gotta be small for now."
Cerberus let out a low rumble, clearly displeased, but after a few seconds, he shrunk down to the size of a regular large dog.
The campers collectively exhaled.
Annabeth muttered, "That's still a three-headed dog."
Little Percy scratched behind one of Cerberus's ears. "But he's so cute!"
Dionysus raised his soda can. "Well, this should be fun. I can't wait to hear how this quest turns out."
Annabeth groaned. "This is going to be the worst quest in history!"