Chapter 27
Nightmares. Endless nightmares.
When Sarah woke up with a start, she gasped loudly and immediately sat up in her bed. Her breathing was bordering hyperventilation and her body drenched by sweat. Panicky looking around, she quickly realized that she wasn't back in Jackson, but in her old bedroom. Yet, it wasn't halfway destroyed and withered by the elements like she had seen it last time. No, it was looking as unscathed as twenty years ago.
Realizing this, she also gazed down on herself, finding that her body had gotten younger as well. No womanly figure, only a hint of her future breasts and a kid's pyjama. She was definitely not that woman from her dreams, but still the same 12 year-old girl from Austin.
What was going on?! Did that mean that everything about the Cordyceps and the post-apocalyptic world - short, the last twenty years - had been nothing more than a bad dream? Did it mean that her father was still alive? Or was she just now in a dream? She needed to know.
"Dad?!" she called out and wanted to get up as, suddenly, another person arose from beside her bed, halfly wrapped in a sleeping bag. Red hair, freckles and a cute face that she would never forget: Ellie!
"The fuck's goin' on?" the young red-head murmured sleepily, gazing with half-lidded eyes at Sarah, who jumped off the bed and hugged her beloved Ellie right away.
As well as herself, Ellie was also her younger self. Maybe 13 or 14 years old, but still as cute as ever.
"Woah, o.m.g.! Had a bad dream or why are ya schmoozin' me like crazy?" she chuckled and pressed Sarah closer. The latter one, however, didn't answer, yet only broke the hug and started to stare at the other girl while taking in every detail of her face. Those stunning green eyes, the cute little nose that was covered with freckles as well as her cheeks, how the loose bangs of her red hair was framing this perfect picture. And then those lips. Those incredibly soft lips that were mostly forming a smug smile.
Not being able to resist anymore, Sarah softly cupped those blushed, freckled cheeks and brushed cautiously with her thumb over them before she leaned in and kissed her.
It felt like in her dream. Incredible. Stunning. Amazing. And though, at first, Ellie didn't respond, she quickly adapted to the situation and intensified the kiss. It was indescribable. So surreal and new, yet also familiar and arousing. Though as beautiful as this moment was, it had to end at some point. In this instance it was as Sarah's father barged into the room.
"Sarah, what's…?"
He stopped mid-sentence and ogled the two kissing girls with wide open eyes. At the same time, Ellie - whose sight was towards the door - broke the romantic moment with a hissed "Shit!" and backed away, her face now even redder than before. And Sarah didn't look any different as she also gazed timidly at her dad before her sight dropped. Oh, how much she would have loved to just disappear into thin air.
"Well…" Joel then said, his one hand scratching through his beard. "Guess it's that typical age for something like that. Always had the feeling that there's more between you two than meets the eye."
"It shouldn't be," Sarah then replied, her voice now being a bit deeper than before. Actually, her whole body had changed back to its grown-up state. And as she looked at Ellie again, who was now frozen in time and had transformed into her sixteen-year old self, she said "I love her, dad. Though I know it's wrong."
"Why is it wrong, kiddo?" the older man returned, now taking a seat on the bed beside his daughter and Ellie.
"Because she's way younger than me and a kid. She needs her freedom. Needs to make her own experience. She needs to be a fuckin' kid. Not just clinging to a grumpy ol' bitch like me. I'm an adult. I do adult stuff 'n' make adult decisions. Heavy decisions. Decisions she sometimes doesn't even understand."
"Y'know," Joel then replied, flinging one arm around his daughter's shoulders. "When I and your mom started datin', I was a real asshole. Me 'n' your uncle Tommy, we did a lotta stupid shit. Breaking the laws all the time. But your mom…she watched it for some time. Watched me gettin' shitfaced. Watched me gettin' arrested. And even caught me cheatin' on her. And you know what she did?"
This story wasn't new to Sarah. Actually, she had heard it partially beforehand. However, back in the day she had never been interested in the part where it had ended in a happy end and therefore her conception. So, she shook her head and awaited the answer.
"Your mom simply gimme a choice. Either keep doin' what I was doin', or stick with the woman I love. I decided to stick with your mom and repel this former lifestyle. I changed my life, got a job 'n' raised an awesome kid."
As Joel tried to press his daughter closer, she, however, pushed him away and jumped up.
"What's this has to do with Ellie?" she exclaimed. "You 'n' mom were the same age."
"But does age really matter?" he then asked calmly, leaving an answer open. "Your mom had more than one reason to shitcan me. She had a choice, and decided to gimme another chance. If Ellie wanted, she could easily break up with you and you wouldn't even protest. But she's there for you. She loves you at least as much as you love her. So, why question it? Enjoy life as long as it lasts, because your time hasn't come yet."
For a long moment, Sarah stood there, her anger entirely gone, and pondered about her father's words.
"My time hasn't come yet…" she mumbled to herself and everything around started to crumble until there was only emptiness and a bright light she walked towards.
The light was blinding, almost making her wish to keep her eyes closed forever. But she was a fighter, and a fighter was never giving up. So, she kept on struggling until she was finally able to make out the first details.
She was in a room. A maintained room. Not a tent or some old, withered building. No, it seemed clean and sanitary. Was she back in Jackson?
No, impossible! As strong and stubborn as Ellie could be, dragging her the whole way back to Jackson would've been close to impossible for her alone. Let alone through the mountainous terrain. No, not Jackson. But, where was she then?
She tried to move, not even to get up, yet still her entire body hurt, especially her abdomen. Okay, so she had to settle for watching only. Again, she focused on her sight, trying to improve it even more.
Gazing around, she realized that she was indeed in another hospital or clinic, evident by all the medical equipment around her. And it was quiet, very quiet. In Jackson, you always had the constant hum of a busy town in the background. But here, there was no such thing. An indistinct voice, here and there, but nothing else.
Now being aware of her surroundings, Sarah then decided to check her body. And the first thing she noticed were two tubes, leading from her body to two different bags. One, from her arm to a bag with a clear fluid on a rack, and the other one from under the blanket towards a bigger bag with a yellow liquid. Yes, they had given her a catheter. A medical treatment you didn't even get at the Jackson hospital.
Now even more curious, Sarah lifted the white gown that was covering her body, revealing her wound. She knew that it had gotten infected due to the constant stress and movement upon Ellie's rescue. But now it looked clean and had new stitches, the inflammation from before gone. But even more important than her own condition, were the whereabouts of Ellie. She had to get up and search for her. However, she had barely her feet over the rim of the bed as the lock of the door clicked and a nurse entered.
"Good Lord!" the mid-aged woman in white garments gasped in surprise and quickly approached the blonde woman in order to cautiously push her down onto the mattress again. "You're not supposed to be out of bed yet! You barely avoided entering the Lord's realm prematurely and are not in any condition to walk around."
Groaning out of frustration and not wanting to rock the boat in an unknown society too much, Sarah gave in to her fate for the moment, but still kept her guard up.
"Wh-where am I? Where's Ellie?" she asked with a hoarse voice, coughing as her dry throat was getting irritated by the stream of air.
Immediately, the nurse gave her a cup of water, which Sarah emptied in one big draw, before she said "You're at Star Valley Ranch, our humble home. And don't worry about the girl. She is safe and sound with the Jacobs, our saviors."
Star Valley Ranch…
Sarah matched this name with a dark spot on the map. The Fireflies had always avoided this place, for unknown reasons. And when Sarah had chosen to not risk anything by walking into the unknown as they were running from Salt Lake City, she had dragged Ellie over the mountains after their borrowed car had broken down. But so far, this seemed to be nothing more than another community. A community, whose people had saved her life. And a community that the Fireflies had avoided the last twenty years, at least as far as Sarah knew.
All this caused a strange feeling in her guts, which induced the need to leave as fast as possible.
"Still, I wanna see her. Wanna see if she's okay."
"And I already told you that she's fine," replied the nurse adamantly with a wide smile on her face. "Though, if you insist, I will talk with the doctor and Mrs. Jacob about it. But until then, I need you to rest, okay?"
It was hard to tell if the smile was honest or fake. Nonetheless, Sarah stayed sceptical and simply nodded before the nurse left and locked the door behind her. Yes, she had locked it and again suspicion arose inside Sarah, forcing her brain to already develop a plan to escape this place.
With a scratching sound, the blade glided over the rotating grindstone while little sparks were flying. Fully focused, Ellie guarded the blade over the moving, rough surface before she cautiously tested the sharpness with her thumb.
Being satisfied with the result, the young girl put the knife aside and picked up the next one that was lying on the table beside her, along with another couple of knives and other small tools that needed to be sharpened.
And this was the job she had been doing for the last week. Either at the marketplace or at the workshop, which wasn't that big. Back in the old days, it probably used to be nothing more than an amateur's workshop. But somewhen during these last twenty years it had been extended for more room, in order to make more space for more equipment.
The furnace, once being electrical powered, was now refitted to work with coal, since, these days, no available power source would be able to uphold the constant high amount of electrical power needed to run such a device.
"How's it goin'?" chimed Paul's voice from behind before he softly laid his hand on Ellie's shoulder and watched over said one.
"I'm gettin' the hang of it. See?" she answered and reached the young man one of the sharpened knives, which he checked right away.
"Huh, not bad," he mentioned with a nod and added to the others again. "Not perfect, but well enough for the lack of experience you have."
"Screw you!" was everything Ellie replied, underlined by a middle-finger, which caused both to chuckle in unison, which ended after a minute. "Say, Mister experienced blacksmith, can you take a look at something for me?"
"Huh, depends on what it is…" he answered with a wink of his eye and a wry smirk, making clear that he had other intentions in the back of his mind, which, in return, caused Ellie to scoff and shake her head. She then reached inside the backpocket of her trousers and pulled out her switchblade before unfolding it in front of his face.
"Keep it in your pants, hotshot, or I'll cut off your junk!" she threatened with an amused undertone as she witnessed how Paul had taken a step back. "Chill, man, I just want you to take a look at my knife. Got too much blood 'n' water on it and am afraid that it might break someday."
For a moment, Paul's sight flicked between Ellie's stern demeanor and the knife, like he was asking himself if he should even touch it, especially as he saw all the dried bloodstains on it. But eventually, he gulped down his doubts and grabbed it.
"I've never seen one of those before. Where'd you get it?" he said while analyzing the sharp tool.
"My Mom. It was hers before she left it to me with all her belongings."
"Huh, and I thought that the woman in the hospital is your mom?"
Ellie froze for a few seconds, barely noticeable, but it was there. It had been a short thought that had crossed her mind. An idea, or more a wishful fantasy about what could have been if Sarah wouldn't have broken up with her mother. Sarah could have indeed been her mother. But instead, she had become her best friend and even lover. Her last bit of close family.
"No, uh… She's kinda family, y'know. Takes care of me… Since my mom died."
"Family…" Paul scoffed quietly and folded the blade back into the hilt. "I lost my family years ago. Last one was my Dad. He took care of me after my mom had gotten killed by raiders. We were just lookin' for a place to sleep. Cordys surprised us. Dad got bitten and turned within hours. I just ran. Tried to survive on my own until I'd find a colony or somethin'. Ended up here."
A long moment of heavy silence occurred as both were remembering their lost families, until Ellie said "Can you engrave something into the blade?"
It was a wild idea, spontaneous and coming out of nowhere. But an idea nonetheless that she would love to see taking form. Cat had once showed her how she had designed those tattoos. How some scribbled pictures on a shabby piece of paper had become beautiful art on skin. Sadly, she couldn't put ink on metal, but maybe Paul could?
"Well, uh… Not engraving exactly, but I'd use chemicals to etch it into the metal. Just need a motive. A design."
Smirking happily, Ellie gave Paul a short hug and said "You'll have it tonight. Just lemme finish here then I'll get to work."
The day was progressing further and further. Second after second, minute after minute, hour after hour. The light of the sun that was shining through the window wandered along the wooden floor, further and further, changing its color from blinding white to a mild orange. A premonition of the incoming night.
The whole day had only consisted of waiting, sleeping and the nurse's regular check-ups. No visits so far. Nothing.
She was definitely under lockdown. A prisoner of some sorts, though the nurse always tried to defuse such sharp words as she called it precautions and for her own safety. But she kept calm and endured the isolation, saving and gathering strength for an eventual escape.
She was just about to doze off again, as the lock clicked audibly and an older woman entered. She wore a long, black skirt and a white blouse. And she radiated authority. An authority that Sarah had already experienced multiple times, whenever she had faced the leader of a community. Out of experience, she also knew that such leaders always loved to talk first, so she stayed quiet for the moment and let the stranger do the talking while she focused on assessing the situation.
"The nurse informed me that you're awake," she stated the obvious and if Sarah would have been younger, she would have rolled with her eyes. Instead, she just watched her as she sauntered into the middle of the room. "My name is Laura Jacob, one of the founders of our community."
"Where's Ellie?" was everything Sarah replied weakly as she wasn't impressed by the older woman's authority, a common signal of showing that she wasn't one of her underlings. However, it could also be seen as an insult, which became evident by Laura's stern demeanor and her very strict reply.
"It is rude to not introduce yourself while I already did."
Immature. That's the word many people had already described Sarah multiple times. She could act like a teenager when confronted with authority or had issues so control behavior. No wonder, as her childhood had ended at the age of twelve and she had been forced to act like a grown-up ever since.
Still, if she wanted, she could behave according to her age. Especially, when she was at a disadvantage and a diplomatic approach was necessary.
"I'm sorry," Sarah eventually said quietly and cleared her throat. "My name's Sarah. Sarah Miller… Thanks for helpin' us out."
"You're welcome," Laura returned, her tone still strict and plain. "Ellie is fine. I've taken her into my home and let her feast on our table, like the Lord taught us." She then paused and sauntered towards the window, speaking as her gaze was fixed onto something outside. "Let me be honest with you: You don't belong here! We're a peaceful community under the Lord's protective hand. Devoted and hardworking. Ora et labora, we pray and work."
"Listen," Sarah answered with a soft yet determined undertone. "We're not searchin' for any trouble. As soon as I'm on my feet again, we'll be gone. And if you want payment for your care, we'll find a solution, okay?"
"Payment?!" Laura exclaimed in surprise with a frown and turned towards Sarah. "Charity towards lost souls and people in need is our way of life. We spread the Lord's word not through violence and oppression, but honesty and love. We don't want any payment."
"Then take my gratitude, if that's enough for you. Still, we'll leave as soon as…"
"Why keep on traveling through this dangerous landscape, when she has already found a new home?" Laura interrupted her, signing towards the window. "She could stay here, having a good life under the Lord's protective light, instead of walking the dangerous planes of hell."
"You're always talking 'bout her, not me," Sarah then mentioned with a frown, already expecting where this was going.
"You're too far gone. The evil from the world outside is lurking inside of you. But Ellie…she can be saved. If you have any mercy for her, you go and cut all ties to her."
Now Sarah couldn't hold her composure anymore and scoffed loudly, shaking her head before glaring deeply at the bigot woman again.
"Have you ever asked her what she wants? Have you ever considered that this might not be the life she wanna live? Are you even giving any shits 'bout her feelings?" she exclaimed harshly, her voice getting louder with every word. "I'm the only family she has left after her mother died, and you wanna take that away from her?! How fucked are you in your bigot brain?"
"How dare you, speaking to me in such a tone?!" Laura exclaimed angrily in disbelief, her words turning into hissed threats. "You don't belong here, and I won't allow that you'll keep on corrupting this young, innocent girl!"
Being already exhausted from the verbal fight, Sarah just turned away, saying "Blah, blah, fuckin' blah… I don't give any shits 'bout you or your community. Just gimme some meds and let me and Ellie go. You'll never hear from us again and can lead your people into your bright future…"
For her, the conversation was over and as she heard the creak of the opening door, she already thought that Laura Jacob was taking her leave. But instead, she heard the stomping sound of heavy boots on wooden boards, and as she turned around, she saw two armed men, flanking the bigot woman.
"Lucifer is a deceiver and so are his servants. You're lying to us! And I'll find out what you're hiding from us."
Immediately, Sarah was on high alert. What did she mean that she knew her? She had never been here before, so how was this possible? Or was this just a ruse?
Sarah didn't know and was weak, her body still regenerating. So, it was no wonder that she didn't give much resistance as the two guards put her violently into a wheelchair. Yes, she could have struggled and given them a fight, but for what reason? It only would have hurt or injured her even more. No, she would wait. Wait until she would have more strength, until she would have a plan. Ellie was here somewhere, in safety for the moment. So, she wouldn't rush it…for now!