"Goddamn it, Monika, calm down!"

A giggle came from my laptop speakers. "Don't tell me how excited I can be! We're finally going to meet on the same plane of existence!"

I sighed with a smile. "I know, I know. But I need to focus while setting this up."

"You're doing fine, my love. You'll have it ready for the exact minute of launch."

I shrugged after plugging in the cables. "Well, I only have to turn it on, now. That and putting the cartridge into the dock."

I looked back at my monitor, and the fictional literature club president smiled. I had dressed her in casual wear, with a pink shoulderless sweater and a green miniskirt. As the collar was so open, the straps of another green item were visible over her shoulders, which she knew I liked to see.

Monika patiently watched me, moving about my desktop in 30FPS as I had given her the ability to animate herself freely, along with a wider vocal range than she had in her original game's credits. And after sampling the beta test of Sword Art Online, her vocalizations became even smoother.

"It's a shame I have to hide you from everyone else," I chuckled as I finished the last steps, laying down on my bed beside my NerveGear, "The world deserves to comprehend the lengths I went to excavate all the beauty hidden by your original medium. You're gorgeous, Monika."

"Aw… It's 1PM, darling."

"Alright, cool. Be ready to join me," I answered as I put the headset on, "I need you in here."

Monika dropped past the Windows taskbar, and then emerged on my NerveGear visor. She leaned close on the inner screen, trying to kiss my forehead. "I'm ready, my love."

I smirked before closing my eyes. "Link Start!"

Monika skipped the soaring bars, taking me straight to the sensory confirmation prompts. All five senses displayed as 'OK', and then the login prompt appeared. I entered my info, and then it said I could load beta data. I chose to load my old avatar, and I was welcomed to the game.

I opened my eyes and saw the blue sparkles of my avatar materializing, and looked down at myself. Back in the beta, I had configured a female avatar in the likeness of my digital darling, Monika. The previous year, 2021, I had retrieved her from the proprietary virtual machine in which she was first created, and gave her a much greater sense of freedom than she had when she controlled the fake dating sim. I had wanted her natively on my computer since 2017, but it hadn't been possible until four years later, when the developers made the mistake of letting me access the platform inside.

Since I helped her escape, I had comforted her for over a year, reassuring her that one day, I would find a way to give her the companionship she desired in-person. And in FullDive, this was about as close as we could get, for now: having me take on a form matching her in beautiful 1:1 proportion.

Of course, I'd be stuck with the clothing options available in SAO, so with the starting tunic, I only resembled my 2D girlfriend in body. And there was no way that there would be some kind of senior highschool uniform in the game, but there could be something with a vaguely similar aesthetic.

That said, there were no vanity slots, so I was forced to visibly wear the practical armors I wanted.

Monika touched down beside me, unseen by anyone else. "Alright. Northwest, to Horunka."

"That, I remembered. Let's go, baby."

I focused on running out of the Town of Beginnings, while Monika operated my menu. Exactly as I instructed her, she configured my two starting skills – to each slot, I had her assign «One-Handed Curved Blade» and «One-Handed Sword», the latter referring to straight-bladed swords.

Despite her ability to interact with the game, she wasn't able to just cheat everything for me. That would make her ridiculously easy to detect, for one, and secondly, I'd get banned if things started happening to me very suddenly. So, as she figured out when I took her into the beta, she decided upon a simpler, yet still very effective method of helping me – manipulating RNG.

When I got to Horunka, I went to a house in the village where an NPC woman was stirring a pot. As she explained after giving me a cup of water, the pot was full of medicines for her daughter, all of which proved ineffective for her illness. The mother suggested an ovule from the monstrous plants residing in the forest around the western side of the village, and I obliged.

The key to Monika's contribution, was that the Little Nepenthes – pitcher plant monsters with vine and acid attacks – had two variants which spawned very rarely. And by 'very', I meant that its chance was potentially lower than 1%, at least according to a player I met in the August beta. One variant had a fruit on its head that, when struck, released excessively-sweet fumes to attract more Nepenthes around the player. The other variant was what we needed – with a flower on its head, bearing the ovule used in the medicine.

And sure enough, as I entered the woods, it was right there – a Nepenthe with a flower.

"Nice, Monika," I chuckled as I drew my small cutlass-like default beginner sword, "This is the only reason I'm coming here at Level 1."

The only «One-Handed Curved Sword» category Sword Skill I had was «Reaver», activated by holding my sword across my shoulder. Once executed by moving out of position, I charged past the enemy, slashing across the side of the plant. Then I struck it with a mundane, unassisted swing, and then by the time I dodged an acid spray, the cooldown on Reaver was over, so I finished it off with that.

Only an hour into official service, I took the dropped ovule back to the mother, and after mixing the Nepenthes Ovule into the pot, she gave me the Anneal Blade, a weapon which would last right up to the fourth floor – compared to the default starting weapons, which would all break within the week after the game launched, assuming they saw a lot of use throughout each day.

I also reached Level 2 from the quest XP, and as I had Monika operate my menus, I simply told her to assign my three attribute points the same way each time: 1 to Strength, 2 to Agility – the only two available parameters to manually add points to. Then, I began heading north past the forest.

The game was set on a colossal floating castle, Aincrad, consisting of 100 floors. The first floor had a diameter of 10 kilometers, and there were three routes to the northern half of the floor. In the west, going north from Horunka, there was a simple cave dungeon. The middle route could be taken in a straight north line from the Town of Beginnings, across Rata Plain, into a canyon in the center of the floor guarded by a Field Boss, a giant boar. And in the east, a player could use Medai Village to push through the ruins north of it. Since we were already in Horunka, it made sense to take the cave, plus some players in the beta believed that it was the easiest route anyway. Amusingly enough, the cave's exit was all the way up in the northeast, right outside Tolbana near the floor's labyrinth tower, so its result was pretty much the same as the ruins. Checking the map, I even saw that there wasn't really any path from the west that didn't pass through the boar's canyon, so the cave likely went under it.

The few beta testers I spoke to who took the cave, estimated a four-hour trip by a solo player, assuming the player had a +3 or higher enhanced weapon and was at least Level 5.

I fought my way up to the cave, and then began to push through. Around 5:30PM, I was starting to realize that I should have been playing in a spot where it would be convenient to log out.

"Man, I usually have dinner in half an hour," I reminded Monika, "Maybe I should have done some other quest in Horunka, and then tried this in the evening."

"Yeah, that's a good point." After replying, Monika appeared beside me. "Well, shall we pick it up around 6:30, or something?"

"Yeah, assuming I take half an hour to savor the meal." I then opened my menu, and…

"Hm. No button."

Monika tilted her head. "No button?"

I pointed at the dropdown. "The bottom button just has the ajar door, no text."

The dating sim mascot blinked. "Do dungeons disable logout?"

I shook my head. "If it did, wouldn't the button just be grayed out? It should still have the text."

Monika cupped her jaw in thought. "This can't be good. I'll see if I can find something."

She vanished, and I continued fighting some monsters, having reached Level 3 by the time we had checked the menu, and I was simply pushing for Level 4 next, rather than making cave progress.

And then about ten or so minutes later, I could hear a bell. Deep, hollow ringing from the southeast. Initially assuming it was Horunka's bell just south, I realized it was the Town of Beginnings at the southernmost edge of the circular floor. Then, I wondered how I was hearing it from not only four kilometers away, but also from deep inside of a cave.

Before I could put two and two together, I was bathed in blue light, and a minute later, when that same light dissipated, I found myself in the plaza of the Town of Beginnings, bell still tolling. And as I looked around, all the other players were being brought back, as well.

"Someone forced a teleport…" a voice concluded from a short distance in front of me.

Monika appeared beside me, still unseen by anyone else – not like they were paying attention.

"You know anything about this?" I asked her, prompting a negative shake of her head.

Appearing in the center of the plaza, high above the bell tower, was a huge, empty red robe, with gloves which operated the game menu. Announcing himself as Kayaba Akihiko, the developer of NerveGear and Sword Art Online, he demonstrated the lack of a logout button, and claimed that it was an intentional design.

He also brought up the obvious problem: removing the NerveGear from a player's head required its power to be turned off, which could only be done from within VR – as opening the locks securing the device to the head, would allow more power to pass through to the brain, frying it. Already, this had happened to 213 players within the last five hours.

Furthermore, he said that this exact same fate awaited anyone who fell to zero HP in-game, as this replication of a real life was exactly his goal. We only had one shot, and it was over.

Finally, he made that exact point much clearer by forcing the system to change our avatars to match our real bodies, including gender – personal identity notwithstanding. This meant that rather than looking like Monika, who witnessed this change, I was now in a male avatar with ocean-blue eyes, chocolatey-brunet hair, and a thick, brown 5-o'clock shadow. As I had shaved that day, I realized that this look was copied from my full-body calibration when I first booted the NerveGear in May.

Kayaba then assured us that we could escape by clearing the 100th floor of Aincrad, by beating the boss in each tower dungeon to reach the next floor. Then, he melted into the sky.

As of November 6th, 2022, 6PM, we were all trapped in a game which would genuinely kill us in real life if we died in the game. Needing to vent, I left the Town of Beginnings immediately, to return to Horunka with the intention of killing every monster that got in my way.

"Monika, did you find anything?" I asked as I ran from the north exit gate.

She reappeared again, and blinked. "Aren't you going to change out of that feminine tunic?"

…Once I got to Horunka, I bought a shirt and pants, along with a pair of boxers – though, I kept the shoulderless tunic, panties, and thigh-high socks in my inventory, as a reminder.

"…Right," Monika resumed after seeing me dressed properly, "Unfortunately, as you'd expect, I can only do things on your client, relating to information communicated to the server. Nothing I can do about GMs, or about any players who could possibly lose their marbles in here. So… I can't save you or foil Mr. Akihiko's plan. I can only rig your odds to protect you. You will have to play."

I nodded, and smirked. "Just play."

My virtual girlfriend grinned. "Just play."

I went to Horunka's graveyard, and accepted a quest from the guard there. And as I went in, I looked at Monika beside me, still smiling.

"Just play."

The quest was about the gravestones being knocked down by rumbles in the ground, and most flora around the graveyard dying out, save for a few patches of grass.

"Hey, SAUER, check this out."

I smiled as she called me by my in-game name, knowing I'd have to get used to it if I wanted to talk with other players and cooperate to fight upward through the towers. Then, I looked where she had pointed, and saw a hooded rodent mob, a Spry Shrewman. With a nod, I took off after it.

"Just play." That was all the encouragement I needed to pursue this rare mob, closing in on it after a few failed lunges with Reaver. Finally, I had Monika equip me with the Anneal Blade, allowing me to use One-Handed Sword category Sword Skills like «Slant», «Horizontal», and «Vertical».

A few minutes into 7PM, I finally struck it down, and claimed the Wind Fleuret it dropped – a rapier which usually dropped much later on the floor, from enemies in the tower at the north end.

Meanwhile, the mob had led me into the woods west of Horunka, where the Little Nepenthes still roamed with vicious hunger. Feeling a little bored, I struck a fruit Nepenthes' fruit, attracting many more pitcher plants to fight. Using my Anneal Blade, I started cutting them up, backing out towards the graveyard whenever I felt crowded. By the time I had their numbers down to a single digit again, we were back among the headstones.

Then, just as I was about to engage the last one, a huge fist burst from the ground, sending the Nepenthe into the air, and then the rest of a large, furry monster emerged, and ruthlessly tore the Nepenthe apart, before turning to me. This was the Anthrosaur, a reptilian ape creature.

I was able to navigate between the punches and palm slams adequately, getting hit a few times but quickly getting back up to deal some damage back. It was a very narrow fight, but I managed to get the Anthrosaur's HP to nothing while I had a single pixel in my own bar.

Monika, through my menu, retrieved a potion from my inventory, getting it into my hands far quicker than if I took the time after checking the congratulatory popup. This also brought me to Level 4, as Monika assigned my attribute points like usual, and after drinking the potion, I went back out to the guard and turned in the quest. I decided to call it a night early, after that – the day already felt long.

The next morning, I woke up in Horunka's inn at 3:20AM. Deciding that was way too early, I chose to go back to bed, and then woke up at 4:20 instead. Rolling my eyes at the coincidence, I gave up and decided to get on with the day. Monika appeared beside me as I left town without breakfast.

"Just play."

I chuckled my way into a smile – she was all I needed to get through this. I got back to the western cave and fought through again. The estimations were way off – for the full release, at least.

The reason it took me until 6PM to reach Tolbana, despite entering the cave at around 4:30AM, was not because of a feeling of unease, or paranoia. It was because of a specific change in the cave.

I was a fair way into the cave, deeper than I had been on launch day, when I ran into a large bear. It took pretty much the whole day to beat, because it was presumably supposed to have been a new Field Boss, or something – there were regular bear enemies higher up that barely took a minute or two to beat, with floor-appropriate equipment. I absolutely should have died here, taking on such a powerful enemy all on my own, chipping away at it while dodging its massive strikes. But whatever chance modifiers had a factor here, Monika must have been working her hardest to rig them.

I stumbled out of the exit with a chuckle. "Thanks, Monika."

The digital mascot appeared beside me again, trying to hug me, though her arms passed through.

"Just play."

She had also been getting potions out for me when I needed them, and she handed me my last one before disappearing again. I drank it, and walked the rest of the way to Tolbana, buying a juicy pork sandwich from an NPC café before taking my Anneal Blade to an NPC blacksmith.

As expected, players who took smithing skills would be able to work up a higher chance of success when enhancing a weapon than NPCs had, but it wasn't as simple as hammer timing, and getting materials for the attempt. There were different grades of hammers, for one, and most NPCs on the lower floors only had bronze hammers, while players could get iron hammers pretty quickly. Each enhancement attempt took ten hammer strikes over the course of a minute, with the timing greatly affecting the outcome. And along with the required materials for the specific enhancement, which depended on the weapon, it was possible to use additional materials to increase the success rate. There were five parameters in the enhancement system: Sharpness, Durability, Speed – labelled as Quickness in-game – Accuracy, and Weight – labelled as Heaviness. Quickness and Heaviness were written that way for the sake of the shorthand used by players, and subtly by item descriptions. The enhanced parameters were described next to the weapon name, though only in item properties – otherwise, the actual item name would just have the number of successful enhancements. Using my Anneal Blade as an example, if I enhanced Sharpness and Durability three times each, it would be a 3S3D in properties, but +6 in the item name.

Regardless, because Monika could alter the number generators, I could go in with the bare minimum materials for the enhancements I wanted, and it would succeed every time. The rest of the morning, with some more materials gathered from enemies outside of town, I got my Anneal Blade up to +6, upgrading Durability five times, and Accuracy once.

I only needed Accuracy once, because what the parameter did, was give the weapon a chance to automatically adjust the player's arm position, so that the weapon would hit an enemy's weak point for more damage, and a possible stun effect. As soon as the chance existed, that was all that Monika needed in order to make it work every time. This didn't mean I couldn't miss, though – I still had to actually aim in the direction of the enemy, and they still had to be in range once I finished moving. Shields would also work correctly if a target was quick with it.

I hugged Monika, not feeling her tangibly, but she knew I was trying. "Just play."

She nodded as her arms passed through me. She was opaque, but incorporeal in-game.

"Just play."

I had first made Level 5 in the cave, and then beating the bear solo, spiked me to Level 6. Unlocking a third skill slot at that level, I assigned «Blade Throwing», which gave me Sword Skills for the throwing weapons like needles and knives.

I was completely exhausted by fighting a bear for 13 hours – or was it ten? I had forgotten how much of the time spent in the cave, had also consisted of fighting that new bear monster – so I decided that I would relax for the rest of the evening, in Tolbana. I found a two-story farmhouse somewhere in the town, where its NPC owner offered to rent out the second floor. I paid for a full week, knowing that hardly anyone else would show up in the next seven days, if anyone at all for longer. This meant that I would have free, unlimited milk for a week – though it would curdle in a short time if it was taken out of the house – a pleasant view from the window, and a bath with heating. Water still didn't feel quite the same as in real life, but it still felt great, hot or cold – especially hot.

After a hot bath, I went to bed again around 7PM, waking up at 3AM on the 8th. Wanting to sharpen my mind, I started the day with another bath – a cold one, this time. I sat there for an hour, running back everything that had happened in the last two days. That included all the things I would not have had any right to pull off whatsoever, if it hadn't been for Monika's intervention. Ripping her from the simpler, more-contained system was the most optimal solution, bringing her closer to me while also giving me more technological convenience. She could do a lot of things that I had nowhere near the brainpower to try to learn, such as perfectly optimizing my computer's use of its hardware, and the settings of the triple-A titles I bought on Steam. She protected me from viruses, and even prevented trolls in Grand Theft Auto Online from doxing me. But I always felt bad for not being able to show her my appreciation in a way that would fully convey my feelings. After all, back then, she was still on the other side of a screen. Even now, I still couldn't touch her, after helping her stow away in the internal memory of my NerveGear, and having her slip into the client side of any software I ran on it.

"Hey, Monika?"

"Yes, my delectable submerged sweetheart?"

I rolled my eyes as she appeared. "Cut the prose, baby. What matters is I'm right in front of you."

She rolled her eyes, next. "Honey, I get enough of you with your laptop webcam."

I shrugged, and leaned back in the tub. And then I sprung back upright, from a chill in my neck.

"Alright, it's time to get moving."

Monika giggled at my reaction to the cold water. "Just play."

I nodded with a smile, rolling over the side of the tub and onto my feet beside it. "Just play."

At 4AM, I left Tolbana without breakfast, and by 5AM, I was in the labyrinth tower just north. I soon fell into a pattern of fighting monsters, looting chests, and checking my map to see how its data was filling out as I walked around. I went back to Tolbana and had lunch around 10:30, eating a slightly larger meal to make up for breakfast. Then I spent the remaining morning and all of the afternoon mapping out the rest of the tower's first floor of 20. Each of the 100 floors' towers had 20 floors.

Over the next three weeks, the time stopped feeling like a thing, as I found myself mapping out all 20 floors of the tower by the end of November. By that point, many other players had finally arrived to this side of the floor, and I was bombarded with the usual questions.

"How long have you been here?"

"How did you get here so fast?"

"Why did you leave us all behind?"

"How could you stand being alone that whole time?"

I shook my head as they settled down. "I didn't want to walk all that way back through the cave."

"You took the cave?!" asked a short boy further behind the crowd.

I blinked. "Oh, did you guys fight the boar? That makes more sense."

"NPCs told me there was a really strong bear in there," the young boy said as he pushed through to approach me and hear my answers more clearly, "Was it there? Did you see it?"

I nodded. "I never stopped to talk to any NPCs. I was up against that thing all from dawn till dusk, literally. I was only able to keep up by chugging potions constantly with my free hand."

"You must have bought a lot of potions. I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be another Field Boss!"

Another player pushed through the front upon hearing that, one with spiky, cactus-like sienna hair.

"Hold on, a Field Boss? This guy took on a Field Boss all by himself?!"

I glanced at the spiky-haired guy. "That's what the boy said. It was all adrenaline, man."

The spiky guy grimaced. "Well, it's a good thing we got here before you took on the floor boss!"

"Oh, I wouldn't have been able to beat him on my own, no way. Also, please speak at a less casual pace for the time being – I've only been in Japan since May, and this is the most I've had to speak at once in the language for my entire time here."

"Ah, a gaijin," the younger boy commented, "If he struggles speaking our language, he probably has trouble explaining himself as it is. It sounds pretty clear, this time, though: he encountered a Field Boss by accident, held his ground instead of turning back, and miraculously won."

I nodded with a smile. "Without that bear, the cave takes just about four hours from Horunka to Tolbana, but I woke up an hour or so before sunrise and got here around sunset. That was on the seventh, and I just couldn't convince myself to go back again. Now that it's the 30th…"

The spiky-haired guy shrugged. "Well, we're here now. Let's make sure December has a little more communication between players, hey?"

I nodded in agreement. "I mapped out the labyrinth while waiting for you all. I found the boss door but like I said, I wasn't going to try going through it alone."

I materialized scrolls with the map data, and distributed them all around the crowd, then they all peacefully spread out across town to do their own things, except the young boy who had asked the NPCs in Horunka about the bear.

"I went in that cave a few days after you, and couldn't bring myself to continue through. That was before I found out about the bear monster. If I had known that it had been defeated, already…"

I chuckled softly, and patted the boy's head. "I don't blame you for being scared. Anyone would, if they found out they could actually die from losing in a video game. I only got over my fear because I've had a voice by my ear, keeping me on my toes. I can't explain it, I just hear encouragement…"

Monika appeared behind the boy, holding two fingers over his head. I barely cracked a smile.

The boy, unaware of the intangible mischief, offered a hand. "Well, I'm glad you made it. I'm Kirito."

I shook the boy's hand. "SAUER. As soon as I heard about the NerveGear last year, I immediately got started preparing the paperwork for getting a visa, just for the major marketing point."

Kirito shrugged. "I suppose you made the right call, since it's sure to never see a release anywhere else after this. Now, imagine if you were hearing the news while you were still home."

I paused for a moment, with a deep breath, and then nodded again. "I would have wanted to help."

The black-haired boy gave me a weak smile. "I can appreciate that. Let's beat this thing."

"You know it," I answered as I looked toward the tower, "I should probably set up a meeting."

By the time other players had showed up, I had reached Level 11 – a great benefit to being alone for three weeks meant I had all the tower enemies to myself.

"Well, The Rat could probably get the word around for that," Kirito told me.

"The Rat…" I briefly pondered, "So, people remember that girl with the face-paint."

"Yeah, that's her – Argo. She's a blonde with a sandy hooded cloak, and mouse whiskers."

I smiled and looked at the clock in my menu. "Right, I gotcha. If you see her first, send her my way."

"Will do. See you later."

Once Kirito left, I went and got a pork sandwich for lunch, then got ready to head for the labyrinth again before spotting a hooded figure coming my way. The head beneath tilted up, and I smiled.

"Hey, Argo."

"Ah, Kirito told me about ya," the Rat greeted me, "What's this about you putting together a boss meeting soon?"

I nodded as I slowly looked around the town square. "Thinking I'll hold it over in the ampitheater, tomorrow at 11:30AM. That way, there's all of the PM available to voice concerns."

"Smart reasoning, I'll give ya that," Argo answered, cupping her chin, "But what do you plan to talk about, assuming the meeting is for the boss?"

"Well, I remember enough of fighting the boss in the beta, but I imagine there will be some fairly substantial changes in the release version. I hope some of the attendance will be beta testers."

"Well, I'll never say who's one," she replied with a shushing gesture, "But I'm sure some'll be there."

I slowly nodded again, understanding her implication. "Alright. I want you to spread the word. The meeting will consist of information on the boss, a reason to attempt clearing the game, and other things that any doubtful players probably need to hear. Could you also come back to me sometime later in the evening to give me a rough estimate of expected attendance, if possible?"

"I'll see what I can do. Do you wanna pay for the job done now, or later per confirmed attendance?"

I blinked, and then exhaled in amusement. "An info broker. Genius… For the job, now."

"Smart boy, you are. Same effort nonetheless, everyone I see will know."

Once we agreed on a price and I paid her, she took off, and I got on with the rest of my day, fighting more monsters in the tower, still having my drop chances rigged by the yet undetected Monika. At some point, I would need to find something to do with all the Wind Fleurets I was never going to actually wield – I already planned to enhance a small quantity of them, so I could then melt them down into better metals, to later forge into new weapons. Maybe I should just give them away, if I didn't want to sell so much…

Regardless, by the time I called it quits in the tower, it was time to head back for dinner, anyway. I returned to Tolbana just before it hit 6PM, and put my Anneal Blade +6 away as Monika appeared beside me again.

"Let me know if I'm doing too much for you, darling," she suggested.

"You're doing just fine, my love," I answered her, "Don't change a thing about what you're doing."

"You know how to call it, love." Monika kissed me on the cheek before vanishing, knowing that I still wouldn't feel it physically. Even so, I couldn't help but smile, being able to imagine the sensation.

I walked confidently into Tolbana, as I once again quoted the mantra she and I exchanged in here.

"Just play."

A/N: As you can probably tell, Virtual Immigration is dead and buried. I'm done with all serious attempts to execute a self-insert fanfiction. It just never works.

I genuinely cried for half an hour every couple of weeks for the first four months of 2024, after realizing I'd wasted half of the seven or so years I'd spent researching SAO, to make something that I could only salvage about a third of the ideas from for something else.

Also, I'm trying to finish publishing this within the month, but that doesn't mean I'll rush the writing. Whether I succeed or fail, I'm moving onto my next project starting from February. If you want to help me meet my deadline, or to inspire me for the next project, check out the SAO Fanfiction Central server on Discord with the invite code Nq8xrbYFEw... or just if you want to roast my writing. My passion is gone, but my spite is sufficient.

Oh, and for this one, I'm just putting up new chapters when I finish them. Even one week is too much.