A/N – For everyone wondering why, this pairing activates a sleeper cell in me. Lizard brain go brrr.

This fic is based in an AU where Danzō dies early and doesn't get to scheme a lot. The timeline is: Danzō dies No war with Iwa (in the anime it is implied that Danzō orchestrated the event that started it) Sakumo, Rin and Obito don't die (Kakashi still has the sharingan through different circumstances) No Tobi and so there was no Kyūbi attack Kushina remains Jinchūriki and Minato is alive No tension between the village and the Uchiha Clan No Uchiha Massacre.

I also overpowered the Byakugan because it only makes sense. The Ōtsutsuki can do shit like read minds and see the fate of a person and the Hyūga just can't??? The Sharingan can do shit like yeet you into another dimension or rewrite fate and it seems everyone and their dog has a stolen sharingan, whereas the Hyūga are glorified x-ray machines and that was enough for them to create a seal that is basically slavery??? Makes no sense..

So far the evolved Byakugan powers are:

Hinata – Heightened Empathy. Sees the feelings of the people being looked at. Theoretically helpful in interrogation.

Neji – Capable of seeing the fates of people. Took him a while to realise that the fates change all the time with actions.

Tokuma – Can find whatever needs to be found. Helps with reconnaissance.

I don't have one for Hanabi yet.

In this AU, The Third Shinobi War happened against the Akatsuki.

Also, characters may be OOC because of different life-experiences.

More exposition will come as things happen.

As a Kage level shinobi, Kakashi has faced quite a bit in his 35 years of life. Nuke-nins, Uchiha Madara, his father's demands for grandchildren already, Pup, I'm not getting any younger and neither are you, but none of it worse than his greatest nemesis.

Paperwork.

Scrolls upon scrolls, seated upon his desk, taking up space that could be taken up by something infinitely more pleasing. Like the newest collector's edition of Icha Icha Office, gifted to him by the great Jiraiya-sama.

'Or a lovely assistant'

But unfortunately, there were no lovely assistants, and the way things were going, there weren't going to be enough trees left for Konoha to be the Village Hidden by the Leaves.

"Senpai, please stop daydreaming and get back to work. The documents for the irrigation system upgrade need to reach the Water Department by noon."

Kakashi gave a truly world-weary sigh. One would think the man hadn't been hours late to his job for the past three days. "The documents can stand to wait five minutes, Itachi."

Itachi simply raised an imperious eyebrow and looked outside the window. Kakashi looked as well. The sun was reaching it's zenith.

"Damnit!"

The next half-an-hour was spent furiously reviewing and signing the documents needed. At a few minutes to noon, Itachi left to deliver the documents and Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief. Itachi would be gone a while, Shikamaru was definitely napping somewhere (he and Kakashi had an understanding that when Itachi and Hinata are not in the office, they leave each other to their business. Not the best way to conduct yourself when you work at the Hokage's Office but fuck it, he's the Hokage.), and Hinata was on a mission. He could get a chapter in, maybe two if he prioritised speed over truly appreciating Jiraiya-sama's genius. He looked at his desk. It was still half-covered in 'allegedly' urgent documents.

Usually Hinata, his lovely, wonderful assistant, kept things from getting this bad. She had a gift for organisation that was incredibly useful in the Hokage's office (And she was also kind enough to give an hour or two of breaks throughout the day for his reading). But she had been at the Capital for the last three days and Itachi seemed to think that Kakashi was a beast to be put to use at every hour of the day. Which meant that even papers that could wait a couple days would be better signed now. Slave-driver.

He looked at his desk. He looked at Icha Icha. He looked at the desk again.

'Five minutes. I'll take five minutes. Maybe ten. Fifteen if Itachi gets lost somehow'

Just as he went to pick up his book, the doorknob turned.

"Kakashi-sama – "

"Ugghhh," Kakashi slammed his head down on his desk. "What!" he said sharply. Then the voice registered.

"Ano... is everything alright?"

He looked up to see his lovely assistant looking at him in concern. A quick yet thorough glance confirmed that she looked just as she had three days ago when she had left. The same uniform (with the much appreciated stockings), same earrings and earcuffs, same pretty face and beautiful eyes and the green crescent with three diamonds on each end of the Byakugan seal on her forehead. He immediately felt all irritation disappear.

"Everything's just fine. Welcome back, Hinata-chan." He said with an eye-smile, already feeling all listlessness evaporating away. "Mission Report?"

Hinata bowed. "Daimyō-sama agreed to the new terms. He was hesitant, but we could convince him that increasing the expenditure on the academy would be helpful in the longer term, especially if we could get the resources for proper Genin counselling."

"That's great." Kakashi grabbed a random scroll and tried to look like he wasn't procrastinating when she found him. The amused little smile that she quickly covered told him he didn't succeed. He gave up halfway and rested his face on his fist. "Where's Sasuke? He was supposed to be with you."

"We came across Itachi-san on our way here. I came ahead to give the mission report and Sasuke-kun stayed back to speak with him." Hinata said as she came up to his desk and started sorting a stack of paperwork.

Kakashi weighed his options. Generally he gave his shinobi at least a day off after a mission, unless absolutely necessary. He should do this here as well.

'But...'

"I suppose now I have to wait for Itachi to get back." Kakashi said, slouching miserably in his seat. "My wrist hurts from signing all day. It seems like the urgent pile just won't end."

"Urgent?" Hinata looked through the scrolls again, brows furrowed. "Kakashi-sama, this needs to go out by next week. Some of these don't even need to be signed by you?"

Kakashi did not have to fake his surprise hearing that. 'Did I do something to piss Itachi off unknowingly? Usually I get to enjoy annoying him more before I suffer the consequences'.

Hinata continued, looking at the rest of the desk. "Why don't you take a break and I can sort all of these into what needs to be signed by you."

Kakashi did his best to seem unsure. "I couldn't ask that Hinata-chan, you just got back. I'm sure I can get this done myself."

"Of course not, Kakashi-sama. It is no trouble." Hinata said, smiled and took a seat at her desk that had been woefully empty for the past few days.

"That's very kind of you Hinata-chan. Let me know when you need me." Kakashi smiled and sat back with Icha Icha.

Five minutes later, Sasuke entered the office to Kakashi reading (not very attentively. There were some glances at the woman seated near him) and Hinata signing scrolls.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, walking up to the desk. "We just got back and you've already got her working again? What happened to days off Kakashi?"

Kakashi gave an innocent eye-smile. Sasuke's face said that he did not trust the smile at all (for good reason really). "Well I was going to, of course, Sasuke. Hinata-chan has been instrumental in regards to our diplomacy with the Daimyo's court. But she noticed that Itachi gave me next week's scrolls labelled as urgent and kindly offered to help."

"Hn." Which translated to 'Can't see why he would do that, but he must be up to something'. "Sucks. Anyway, you got the basics," he nodded towards Hinata. "I'll get you my mission report tomorrow."

Kakashi waved his hand and dismissed Sasuke.

As he left, Hinata looked up and asked. "Kakashi-sama, where is Shikamaru-kun? He should have been helping you with this."

Kakashi wondered for a moment if he should throw Shikamaru under the bus, but quickly discarded the idea. Both Itachi and Shikamaru suspected he had feelings for Hinata, and although Itachi took pleasure in pestering him about it, Shikamaru solidly filed it away under 'none of my business', which Kakashi did appreciate.

"I have him downstairs, assigning missions. Iruka was busy, so Shikamaru is filling in."

"Oh, is everything alright with Iruka-sensei?" Hinata asked, concerned.

"Anko and Shisui got him." Kakashi said with a wink (which was just a blink. It was the one thing he hated the most about losing an eye.)

Hinata blushed, understanding what he was implying and both continued work in silence.

A couple hours later, Genma entered, frazzled.

"Kakashi, we've got a problem."

Kakashi felt a headache forming. He hoped it wasn't what he thought it was.

"Yes, Genma?"

"It's Naruto and Sasuke again. They've destroyed Training Ground 17."

Great. They destroyed the one training ground he needed in one piece for the academy students' field trip.

'Ughh'

A/N – Me: this is just an excuse for smut. There's not going to be a lot of focus on the politics and shit.

Also me: *spends an unreasonable amount of time figuring out how Konoha would be different if the people who had died were alive*