Warning : - I don't own Fairy Tail.

The light breeze of the evening was making her hair wave, like a crown around her head, while her gaze was lost in the water streaming in front of her. She was wearing her armor, in this downing time, the protection or at least the sense of protection it was bringing her was more than welcomed.

Sitting with her knees pulled up against her chest, her mind was wandering in the memory of everything that had just happened.

Tartaros have been defeated and with it the remnants of the Balam Alliance, the victory being once again claimed by Fairy Tail. Alas the joy was bitter-sweet, the Guild building was in ruin, as was a large part of Magnolia after Acnologia joined the chaos at the battle's end. And now, Fairy Tail's master had just announced that the Guild will be disbanded and the building never rebuilt…

Erza couldn't figure out why the master was taking this decision, many of her guild-mates had tried to talk and convince him to not go to such an extent. He remained firm in his choice. She knew she could only obey, knowing the master had his reason. But after what she had just endured in the hands of the Tartaros's demons the only thing she wanted was to be near her family, not to see it be fractured and scattered to the four winds.

Seeking a moment of loneliness, she had come here near the river, to try to reflect on the situation and just stop thinking for a moment, by losing herself in the water below and the sky above her, like she had done so often in the past.

The Sun was beginning to set slowly behind the horizon, the sky taking on a pink golden hue as her eyes were more lost in the shadows of her memories than in the scenery.

Coming from behind her she heard footsteps and lethargically detached her gaze from the downing sun dancing in the water's reflection, to see who was coming to her, daring to disrupt and save her from her thoughts at the same time.

Her surprise was colored with a bit of relief when she saw Gray, wearing a white buttoned shirt with the sleeves rolled up and his hands in his pockets, his coat seemingly having been discarded somewhere only he could know.

He nodded at her with a small smile before stopping at her left. Erza watched his face turned toward the now orange sky. She was a bit curious to know what could be passing through her friend's mind. He stayed motionless beside her, still looking in the direction of the sun, fixating a point only he seemed to see. He just stood there for a moment, breathing the cool air of the evening.

She stayed her eyes on the river again. The only sound was coming from the melody of water streaming and the wind singing.

After a few seconds Gray finally turned his head to her.

"So, what's making our knight in shining armor this melancholic ?" He said with a bantered smile.

Once again Erza looked up at him. His face, lit with the same shade as the horizon, was harboring a grin.

She sighed while closing her eyes trying to figure out how to avoid the conversation, while preparing for it, knowing she couldn't dodge it.

Seeing no trace of answer to his question, he sighed too and sat next to her. His legs crossed at his ankles level and his hands behind his back.

"Sorry… I was just trying to lighten up the mood".

"I know Gray, don't worry about it." she responded with a voice, calm and melancholic.

He was watching the river too now, not knowing how to approach the subject. "I'd like to apologize" He simply said in a neutral voice. Erza tilted her head and stared at him with puzzled eyes. "Why so ? You did me no wrong Gray."

"Maybe not directly, true, but indirectly a little for not being a really good friend." His answer carried the taste of sorrow.

"What are you saying, you're one of my best friends, if not my best friend." She said, her eyebrow raised, the quizzicalness visible on her face.

"Yes, but what a terrible one uh ? I mean, I heard that you've not really been treated well by Tartaros."

Not treated well, that was quite an understatement. A slight chill runned down her spine remembering her time in jail and her fight against Kyoka, and with it, all the memories inside the Tower of Heaven.

"Yeah, I would prefer not to talk about it… It was not pleasant and it brought back long memories I would have liked to forget."

"You shouldn't have to face it alone, you shouldn't have to face this situation at all. I had swore to protect you after the Incident at the Tow- with the Etherion's incident. And here you were, suffering in the hands of another captor."

"And you do not need to apologize for that Gray, you could have done nothing to help me." She tried to grin at him but her eyes weren't smiling as much as she would have liked, she once more turned her head toward the river.

"Precisely, that's the whole point." He mumbled in a whisper, his head bowed in front of him while watching his shoes.

"What did you say ?" She turned back to him genuinely asking.

"Nothing. Don't worry, I'm just thinking out loud." Gray said while shaking his head.

She paused for a moment, wondering if she really wanted to continue this strange talk. She decided to take the opportunity to shift the conversation.

"And you, how are you doing Gray ? I heard you had managed to defeat Mard Geer with Natsu. It's truly impressive, I am so proud of you two !" She said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, thank you…" He raised his right hand to rub his head, his cheeks flushing a bit. "But I must admit I had a bit of help" He continued by showing her the new mark on his arm. She gave him a curious look, she had seen this mark on him just after the battle with Tartaros earlier this evening, and by what she had heard this had something to do with his father being one of the Nine Demon Gates.

"It's kind of… a legacy. If I can say so." He chuckled by saying the two last sentences, but his eyes were veiled by sorrow for a second.

She smiled at him a little. As always, Gray being Gray, he had answered absolutely none of the questions she had in her head on the subject, but looking at his friend she knew that he would not want to talk much about this for now. Since the time they both knew each other they knew when some things could or needed to be discussed, and when not to push things.

He gave her her smile back while looking in her eyes, the sound of his voice now a bit worried. "And you, you're alright ?" He then smirked "I mean… you've said you didn't want to talk about it and that's fine, but Happy and Lily have told us that you've vanquished one of the strongest Demon Gates of Tartaros. On your own ! That's worthy of the great Titania."

"Honestly, that was one of my harshest fights." She snorted. "But I did it thanks to all of you, I did it for all of you, and I could never have done this without my family in my heart."

He nodded seemingly satisfied with the answer, or like Erza knowing that he was not to push his like by delving deeper on the topic.

They stayed in silence gazing at the sun slowly disappearing, the warm pink-golden rays of light letting the place to the night. Soon the stars would shine above high in the celestial vastness.

The temperature was slowly dropping, their breath beginning to form small clouds of condensation.

Soon her mind wandered once more in the past of her memory. She sensed it would be the perfect moment to finally approach the topic that was bothering for a long time.

"When was the last time we sat like that because you had found me alone crying or melancholic ?" Erza asked.

"Uh.. ?" Responded Gray a little taken aback by this question "I don't know… a while I'd guess." He paused. "Something like 6 years ago." He stated while watching his legs in front of him.

"That's so long." She sighed. "You always had like a 6th sense to know when I was feeling down. And one day it just stopped. Did your magic compass leading you to me break ?" A sound of nostalgia audible in her voice as she looked at him with her head laying on her crossed arms on her knees.

"You wish I'll give you my secret eh ?" He cracked a smile "It wouldn't be as fun if you knew it ! Wouldn't it ? I even assume that you may have come here a few times without really being sad just because you wanted to speak a bit" He said, giving her a playful stare.

"Well, maybe once or twice." She watched as his brow rise and she chuckled "Ok, ok, maybe a bit more than that."

Her smile faded until only a small part of her right lips stayed raised.

"But you didn't answer to why you stopped coming. You know, I continued to come here even if I knew you would not come, just in case."

"I know…" he whispered.

"Then why ? Did I do anything ?" She asked with a tint of sadness in her voice.

Gray paused, not sure of what to say, nor how to say it exactly.

She waited for him to talk, knowing that none of them was great with words, even more with that kind of topic. Since he stopped visiting her near the river those years ago, she had wondered more than once if she may have done something that could have hurt her best friend to the point that they were not close like they used to be.

She watched him uncross his ankle, lay on his back while folding his knees an putting his arms crossed behind his head, a sigh escaping his mouth while he closed his eyes for a couple seconds.

"Nah, you never did anything, I mean, not anything bad." He paused again, his stare lost in the stars above, a stern expression settled on his face. "Since the Guild will be disbanded, I guess I can tell you now. Even now I still don't know how to say this correctly uhm….. I had a crush on you, you know." He turned his eyes to her, remaining serious despite his cheeks progressively blushing.

Erza's eyes opened wide as she stared at him like he had just grown a second head.

"W-W-What ?! But, how ? When ? What ? Why ? What are you even saying ?" she managed to say while her face was turning the color of strawberry.

"Ahem, well…" coughed Gray while looking away, still laying on his back. "I don't… I don't really know when it started. I mean, at first I kind of hated you, I found you annoying. Then we met there and I saw you cry. I saw that you were not just a blunt rude kid, that you were maybe just as broken as I was, that your attitude may have been a way for you to protect yourself from the world. Then we spent more time together and with our other mates, I started to like you more and more and I truly hated seeing you sad." He coughed again in embarrassment.

"I don't know, maybe unconsciously by always being there for you, it was like it was also me that I was helping. You helped me to stop being that angry and grumpy kid. Well, at least being less this kid… And with the time passing by, I saw you less and less like that impenetrable fortress and more like that cute girl with a hurting past. And, huh you… were also becoming more and more like a woman than a girl." He said this while becoming as red as Erza who looked like she could bury herself on the spot. "N-Nevermind ! Erm… Could we forget my last sentence ?" He did everything possible to not look at her or even in her general direction.

"I-I uh." She stuttered like a young teenager, absolutely not knowing what to respond to that, watching with zeal the grass in front of her. She could see, or at least sense, that Gray, even if he was as embarassed as her, was a bit amused by her reaction. Part of her wanted to hit him for having fun at her expense. But, she could understood him a bit, after all it was not every day that Erza Scarlett was cought off-guard and even less blushing and losing her words.

She tried to regain her composure by taking a long breath.

"UhmUhm" she coughed "Even if it was the case… that doesn't explain w-why you stopped being around me then. It's even more strange if in fact you really were in… l-love with me" She hesitated on this last part, but progressively succeeded to dissipate her redness, she was starting to think back of her relationship with Gray who she considered her best friend when she was younger.

They hung out often, she liked his company very much, it was like they knew each other by heart. Of course they never really talked about the past, none of them was inclined in sharing such a sensible subject, nor was asking for the other to reveal it. But Gray was right, they knew that they were broken children, they could sense it, they had come up with different ways to cope, but the result was the same and they knew it.

She wore her armor on her to not be hurt by the world again while Gray wore his armor in himself, his angry-grumpy-sad attitude acting like a shield.

Thinking about the fact that he may have had a thing for her all the time they were here near the river made her nearly re-blush like ten seconds earlier.

She remembered the times she was crying and he had his arm around her in an embrace, calming her and comforting her.

The time he tried to steal her cake once and she chased him for ten minutes while he was laughing and teasing her, before she beated him for his insolence. The time she offered him a perfume for Christmas, a fragrance of mint and lavender and she had smelled it on him, nodding in agreement after he had tested it on his bare torso. Now that she is thinking about it, he still uses this perfume up to this day.

When they stayed up late gazing at the stars, her head resting on his shoulder.

When he offered her a…

"Hem, I-I said I had a crush on you, not that I was head over heels or anything." He said, his cheeks still bright red, snapping her out of her thoughts. He glanced at her while trying to regain his serious tone and expression. "Plus, it's precisely because I had… a thing for you. That I started to distance myself." He exhaled with force, a note of melancholy coming from his breath.

"I started to do so when you succeeded in the Class-S exam. See, I knew you were stronger than me, you've always been since the first day we met." He was looking at the stars and speaked like he was talking to himself more than to her. "That's also a reason why I always wanted to fight you before we got closer, I wanted to be stronger than you. And this feeling remained after. I trained every day and at least this stupid ash-brain gave me the opportunity to exercise myself. You know, mixing the useful with the enjoyable." He grinned wide while saying that, before returning to a more stern face after a few seconds.

"But when you came back that day with the title of Class-S mage, I knew, I knew deep down that I could never be any match for you… You were far beyond my level, and even if I trained harder I still couldn't reach your level. At this moment I felt weak, it disgusted me. I viewed myself as your shield, supposed to protect you, be there for you, to prevent you from being hurt or sad. How would've I done this when you were so strong you didn't even need anyone else. I felt utterly pitiful and useless." His mouth curled slightly in disgust. The light breeze of the early night brushing the grass and his hair.

"...Never. Never once have I thought that of you. You are not useless, you are not pitiful ! Say that, once more, and I promise you that I'll shatter your jaw until you can't speak such nonsense anymore. You can't possibly think that of yourself…" Her jaw and her fists were clenched, so tightly that blood was not flowing anymore in her fingers, the anger in her voice competing with sadness. She was still sitting, her face hidden in her arms which were resting on her knees.

"Erza…" Gray snapped back to earth and gulped, hearing the tension in his friend's body and voice, he straightened up slightly, understanding that he may have hurt her, and may have brought his own undoing. "I - I didn't really think that, you know it right ? I mean, yeah I am intellectually aware that this is false. But that's what I felt back then… And I sometimes continue to feel it. I feel that I am falling behind you and Natsu. We may have defeated Mard Geer, yes, but I could've never done it without the power someone else gave me. It was not my victory, but the one of my father" He said, showing his right arm, his fist clenched before unclenching it.

"I knew I wasn't useless of course… And I knew, and still know today, that this idea has never crossed your mind. Sometimes what we know and what we feel can be contradictory. We both may not be very good with these kinds of things but we both know and can understand that." His voice was no longer as cold as it was just a few seconds before, he had talked and shared too much.

"You're such an idiot Gray Fullbuster." She laughed, her eyes wet but the tension in her body had left. "I will always be amazed by your ability to be one of the smartest people I ever encountered and at the same time such a complete moron. It's fascinating !" She smiled while rubbing her thumb on her eyes to wipe the tears that were starting to form."You believe sincerely that you are weaker than us, but you forget that none of us could be there today with just 'its very own strength'. Lucy is strong because she trusts all her friends and foremost her Spirits. Natsu is strong because he loves Igneel and he received his power from him, just like you just received your power from your father. And I, I am strong only because I have all my guildmates, my family, in my heart."

She pointed her right index at his guild mark on his chest. "You included."

She raised her head and stared at the nocturnal sky, the stars were now appearing and seemed like they were rivalising to catch her gaze. "You don't understand that, have you never been there for me, I would have never been able to become an S-Class mage in the first place. I did it, not because I wanted fame or glory, I did it because I wanted to protect my family and also, partly, so I could one day take you and Natsu on S-quests with me."

She again sticked her gaze on the river, a guilty expression on her face.

"But you have a point I must agree… Afterall how could I not see how you felt about me ? You've always been able to read through me like an open book. What kind of friend was I, not seeing what you felt, and worse… What kind of friend would let her best friend, who is attracted to her furthermore, feel so bad about himsel…" She didn't have time to finish her sentence that Gray had straightened up completely and was sitting next to her.

"NO. Not. Once. Have I thought, felt, or whatever those damned exact words are..! That it was your 'fault', I didn't blame you then, don't blame yourself now. It's no one's fault, especially not yours. You did nothing wrong, absolutely nothing Erza. I was just afraid and a bit… no… and very stupid. I didn't know how to react to the feelings I had for you." He sighed.

"I was a young teenager and so far, all the people I'd loved died in front of me.

My parents, my old friends back then, Ur…

I was starting to have feelings for you..." She turned her face toward him, and his eyes locked into hers. "My biggest fear back then was to lose you too. And to be fair, it remains one of my greatest fears."

She smiled shyly at him.

"Why didn't you just tell me back then ? Instead of distancing yourself for many years."

He raised an eyebrow, his face still harboring a sadness but a little smirk cracked on his face.

"Would you have answered positively ? How do you think you would have reacted exactly ?"

She frowned a bit, starting to think what could have happened, she too was just a teenager back then, she had no real knowledge of love and she had no idea that her best friend was crushing on her.

And right now she was pretty sure she wouldn't have accepted his feelings. In all the simulations she could run in her head at this instant, none was great.

Her beating Gray… Her fainting… Her running away… Her stopping talking to him… Her crying…

"Okay, yeah, you may have this point Fullbuster." She sighed, Gray was not good at knowing himself but for sure he knew her well.

He chuckled.

"See ?"

"Still, there should have been a way to sort this without you stopping from being my best friend…"

"Yeah… surely. If I could rewind time, I may do differently. But still, I wouldn't have a magic solution to offer."

"And why didn't you try to get closer to me once more after that ? Up until we start being close friends again with the arrival of Lucy and we formed the team, you could have come to me."

"I could have… But I still had a crush on you for the most part, and after that. Well, you were always on a quest, and I did exactly the same, the occasions to speak with you were few." He exhaled loudly. "And beside that Erza, in all these years did you really try to reach to me too ?" He glanced a teasing eye at her.

She bit her lips, he may have another good point here too. When he had distanced himself from her, she had felt betrayed. She did try one or two times to talk to him about that at the beginning, but he always found a way to dodge the subject. She remembers really well now that he was embarrassed and blushed often. After that she had not insisted, she was too proud and stubborn.

Except for waiting a few times at the riverbank expecting him to come to see her, she never tried to talk to him about the subject nor did she try to be closer to him.

It was him who befriended her in the first place and in her mind it was to him to do the effort again.

Of course, they talked and spoke and interacted like they did with the others in the guild, they didn't go silent. But there was no more this spark of complicity between them.

"I uhm, I had my reasons." She muttered, her face harboring her famous expression while turning her head to look at the grass.

He snorted and smiled, but did not respond. He knew her and knew that even if she was not the teenager she was a few years back, she still had her pride and stubbornness, just like him.

"And now ? Do you still have a crush on me ?" Erza asked after a minute of silence,she was not blushing like a teenager anymore, but a flash of pink could be seen on her cheeks.

After a small pause of a few heartbeat he said.

"Does it really matter now ?" He was still smiling a bit at the sky but replied with a neutral tone.

"What ?" She said, a bit taken aback by his answer, her brows raised but wanting to frown at the same time.

He resumed the position he had at the start of their discussion, his legs laid in front of him, his ankles crossed and his hands on the ground behind his back.

"Well, I mean. We have a pretty good relationship now, like it was back then. If I still had a crush on you, would you like me to stop and let it maybe once more threaten our relationship ?

If I still had a crush on you, would you be able to close your heart to…" He resisted the urge to say the name of Jellal knowing full well this was going to embarrass Erza and she could take this as a vitriolic attack. "Someone else." He succeeded to say before her eyebrow could take an accusatory position. "And if I don't have a crush on you anymore would you be disappointed or relieved ?" He asked her with a bantered grin but serious eyes.

Damn that smart moron of Fullbuster she said internally, biting her cheek. She had absolutely no idea what answer she could give him, really. She knew that she liked the relationship she had with him since they formed the Team Natsu, she was more than happy to have found her dear friend again after so long.

But she didn't know if he still had a crush on her. She didn't know if she could even like him back like that too, she didn't even had time to really process entirely his revelation. And even if she could ever love Gray like that, she couldn't forget Jellal, not now, and certainly not before a very long time… He was engraved in her heart, she loved him but she didn't know if they could one day be a true functional couple.

And to the question, would she be disappointed if he was no more onto her ? Well, maybe, just a little, after all it's always a bit hurtful for a lady to know that someone who loved her had finally stopped, at least that's what she had read in one of the Sorcerer Magazine once.

A look of resignation on her face, she sighed tiredly "I guess you're right, it doesn't matter for now."

His left eyebrow raised in a surprised manner, he had expected a direct rejection. He heard well, but chose not to respond. Be it by choice or by surprise.

"Well…" With a small smile he lifted himself to stand, hands in pockets to rest his gaze on her face bathed in the selenic light before turning to stare at the heavenly body rising above them.

"It feels weird to know the Guild is no more… It will not be the same." He said softly.

"I have full trust in Jii-san" Said Erza, her face was peaceful but in her voice one could sense a bit of regret. "I'm sure he has his reason. What about you ? What will you do now ?"

"I will return to Isvan, I will grieve for my father, for the second time…" He responded with a cynical smirk. "After that I'll see where my pilgrimage takes me. As for you ?"

"I have no idea. I will surely stay to help the inhabitants to rebuild the city, then I will maybe give a hand to Crime Sorcière, I don't know. the Balam Alliance may be dead, but dark guilds are not yet an issue of the past."

He smiled to himself, the wind caressing his face one last time before he turned his back. "Good by Erza, and good luck. I hope we'll be able to see each other soon my dear." He raised his arm and waved slightly his hand while walking away. He had managed to strip his shirt in the meantime she wasn't watching.

"See you soon Gray." She answered as she looked at him getting farther from her, before she looked back at the empyreal marvels in the sky. She took a deep breath, a small mist of condensation exiting her lips as she closed her eyes.

When she opened them up again, she noticed next to her that the infamous shirt he had left was lying on the ground next to her, where he had sat.

Gray, you moron… She thought with a hopeless grin on her face while sighing.

The sense of mint and lavender reached her senses the moment she picked it up, still smiling.

Yeah. You smart moron…

It's my first fanfic and english is not my first language, don't hesitate if you have anything to say so I can improve my english or my writing skills.