Chapter 4 – Reflections

Author's Note: Well, there are some more... unexpected revelations, I guess, in this chapter. But don't worry. The endgame here is Anidala, I assure you, and it will happen in this fic. :)

~ Amina Gila

It's still the middle of the night, even if it's approaching early morning, but the clone patrols are everywhere. While Anakin knows that it would be easiest for them to slip out under the cover of darkness, he worries for the risks that will pose. He doesn't know if Sidious or Inquiere know he's still in the Temple, or if the new Sith apprentice is simply being… careful.

Either way, it leaves Anakin – and Reva – temporarily trapped inside. The girl can't fight, and Anakin isn't willing to put her in harm's way if he can keep her safe. He himself is worn out, exhausted, from the fighting and… perhaps from the Dark Side, too. He doesn't trust that he can take on a full battalion of clones and come out unscathed again, especially not when he still has Reva to protect.

So, instead of forcing his way out, Anakin withdraws deeper into the Temple, hiding them both away in a storage closet where the Temple droids stay. The door is well-concealed, built into the surrounding designs to make it less obtrusive, and the only reason Anakin can find it so well is because of all the times that he snuck down here when he was younger, still a junior Padawan.

They spend the night there, though it takes some coaxing before Reva is willing to lie on the floor next to Anakin and get some rest while he sinks into a light mediative trance. It isn't nearly as effective as true sleep, but it serves its purpose, and Anakin has lost track of the number of times on the frontlines when he used mediation in lieu of sleep; it's still refreshing in its own way, and like this, he can also keep a lookout in case anyone comes their way.

No one comes.

There are so many thoughts buzzing through his mind, but through sheer willpower, Anakin pushes them aside, forcing himself to do nothing other than drift in the currents of the Force and just be as he watches over Reva while she rests.

The sun has been risen for more than a couple hours by the time that Anakin senses fewer clone patrols and is willing to venture from the enclosed room. The Temple is quiet, but it's still soaked with the feeling of death, of darkness. He can still hear the screams echoing through the halls, the blaster fire. Their home has been desecrated but leaving will still be… hard.

Anakin senses a faint tremor in the Force, a disturbance near the front entrance, and he uses it to their advantage when clone reinforcements are called to help. One hand on Reva's shoulder, they sneak into the hangar bay of the Temple. It's… devastated. Almost everything has been destroyed, including all of the flyable starships, fighters, and speeders. He stands there, filled with dismay, before he shakes himself back to the present, scanning for the clone guards who are stationed here.

There are only six, and Anakin reaches out with the Force, wrapping it around their necks and crushing, killing them before they even have a chance to notice his presence and sound an alarm. At his side, Reva doesn't even seem fazed by the violence; unsurprising, given what happened last night. He makes a beeline for the back corner where he stashed a speeder that he had crashed and later repaired. On the outside, it looks like junk, but it will serve its purpose.

It's still there, thankfully untouched, and with it, is Artoo.

A wave of relief washes over Anakin when he sees his astromech. He would have hated to lose him, and he hadn't given it much thought, since while Artoo might be a friend, the clones weren't here to destroy droids; they were here for the Jedi, and Anakin's sole thought had been to protect them as best he could.

Anakin slips into the pilot's seat, and he fires up the engines, speeding from the hangar entrance as fast as he can before they're spotted. Yes, it's stupid and highly risky, but he can sense that there are not nearly as many clones left in the Temple, and he felt the deaths near the entrance. Whichever Jedi – or whoever they are – who were foolish enough to come here will keep the clones distracted long enough to cover Anakin's escape with Reva.

"Where are we going?" Reva asks quietly once they've made it into the traffic lines without anyone seeing or trying to stop them. Anakin doubts that their departure will be unnoticed for long, and he's counting on someone trying to track them, hence why he'll need to take a roundabout path to their destination.

"To a friend I know," Anakin replies, keeping his senses carefully attuned to any possible ripples in the Force. "She will help us." He hopes. He hasn't spoken with Padme much after the… incident shortly after Ahsoka left the Order, after all. Though he doesn't think that she's upset at him for so obviously avoiding her, it's possible. Either way, knowing Padme, she won't betray them; she isn't going to be any happier with the destruction of the Jedi Order, and there's no way that she doesn't know.

The smoke from the battle must have been visible across half the planet or thereabouts anyway.

Reva nods, wrapping her arms around herself as if trying to appear smaller, and Anakin reaches out towards her, gently brushing a hair back from her face. He doesn't know how else to help her, how else to offer comfort in the wake of her losing everyone she ever knew. It humbles him to see how deeply this child trusts him, looks up to him, even after what happened. She doesn't blame him for his failures at the Temple, even though there has to have been something he could have done better.

There always is.

Instead, she gives him the slightest of smiles, though the pain in her dark brown eyes never fades. Anakin returns it with one of his own before he refocuses on the drive and on all the thoughts that have been demanding his attention for hours.

He knows who caused this, who was behind all of this, but what he doesn't understand is why. Why did the clones turn on the Jedi like that? It doesn't make sense. Yes, he knows that they were raised to be loyal to the Republic, and he can understand why the Coruscant Guard would be willing to go along with such orders, but the 501st? His own men? No. It doesn't make sense. There must be something that he's missing, but what?

A vague wisp of a memory hovers on the edge of his consciousness again, just like earlier at the Temple, when…

"Negative, General. Good soldiers follow orders."

Anakin blinks, now having the presence of mind to actually think back to the last time he heard those works, and he can't quite stop the flood of horror that hits him when he remembers. Fives. Oh Force, how could he have forgotten? It was before the Outer Rim Sieges, back when he was still recovering from losing Ahsoka, but the whole incident with Fives had shaken him to the core. Thinking about it now, remembering what Fives had said to him…

"Well, there's a sinister plot in the works against the Jedi. I have proof of it."

"The evidence is in here. It's in here. It's in all of us, every clone!"

"Organic chips, built into our genetic code to make us do whatever someone wants, even kill the Jedi."

"The Chancellor will try to kill me!"

"He's in on it! I don't know to what extent. But I know he orchestrated much of this."

Anakin doesn't know how or why he ever overlooked it. He should never have trusted the official report from the Council and from the Chancellor. It – he listened to his superiors over his friend. If he hadn't, if he had done something differently, how much of this could have been avoided? Would Fives still be alive? Would they have confirmed his words?

Anakin has no idea, and he'll never know now. But then again, if he had discovered the truth, if he had realized that Fives was right when he warned that the organic chips in their heads had a sinister purpose, who would have listened to him anyway? He would have gone to Palpatine about it, foolishly hoping that the Chancellor himself might not be corrupt like Fives claimed even if everyone around him was. It – it probably would have gotten him killed.

Sidious would never have allowed anyone, even the person he apparently wants as his apprentice, to interfere in his plans.

It leaves Anakin feeling sick with guilt, though, at the knowledge that this all happened because of the Sith, that the men he slaughtered last night may have been forced into something against their free will. It makes sense, however, and it explains a lot, because no matter how much brainwashing the clones endured on Kamino, there is nothing strong enough to destroy the bonds between soldiers, between the Jedi and the clones. They fought side by side for years; they looked out for each other, and the clones' loyalties… some of them probably began to change. Some of the clones, though Anakin cannot speak as to how many, since he doesn't know them all, would have chosen their Jedi above orders.

As guilt overwhelms him, and fears for those who he knew rises, Anakin pushes aside all thoughts about the clones. He cannot afford to let himself fear for Obi-Wan, for Ahsoka, for – for Aayla, even.

There are many Jedi he knew, even if he didn't consider them friends.

Well, other than Aayla, that is.

As he thinks of the Twi'lek Jedi Master, he can't quite stop the blush from spreading across his face as he remembers their… friendship. He had needed someone after Ahsoka left, after he and Padme went way too far, doing things that friends don't do. He had needed someone as the war got worse and before the Outer Rim Sieges began. Aayla had been that someone. She had been willing, more than willing, and they had been lovers for a short time. They knew that it wouldn't last, not only because Anakin was in love with Padme, even if things between them were a million levels of awkward, but because they were Jedi, and Jedi are not allowed to have relationships.

He never told Aayla about Padme, though he sometimes wondered if she knew or at least suspected he entertained feelings for another. They had been clear to each other about what they were from the start: a way to unwind and a means of intimacy with another. Both had been extremely stressed, so it worked. He never used her, and they had amicably broken things off before the Outer Rim Sieges began, when they had to part ways.

Anakin hasn't seen her since, not in person, at least, and on brief occasions, he has found himself thinking of her and wanting.

But Aayla is not Padme. She is not the woman who has taken his heart, the woman to whom he has sworn himself, the woman he has promised to leave the Order for and marry – though he doesn't know how that will ever work out now, what with the Jedi's destruction and all, not to mention whatever else has happened that he is unaware of.

Though Anakin and Padme never talked about a relationship much after the Clone Wars began, he knew it was often on their minds. But they never promised they would never spend time with another. They never said they wouldn't take a lover. They only swore that they would, once the war ended, marry and start a family of their own together.

He never considered being with Aayla like that to be a betrayal of Padme, though perhaps he might have if not for… Zygerria, for her. Maybe there is a part of him which felt unfaithful after that, though he never did anything, never chose anything. Maybe he is not as alright from that mission as he likes to pretend. It's not something he's ever spoken to Padme about. He's never told her about Aayla either. And he knows that, when they can and do pursue something like they both so desperately want, he will have to tell her everything. There can be no secrets between them for a marriage to work.

As Anakin flies the speeder towards the landing platform of Padme's apartment, he pushes all idle thoughts from mind. It's time to focus. He needs to find out from her what all has happened, what all the galaxy knows about… last night, and then, he needs to ensure Reva will be safe here before he goes after Sidious.

**w**

The moment Obi-Wan heard about the coded message being broadcast from the Temple, he knew that he had to go back. He could not, in good conscience, try to protect himself when so many Jedi survivors could be misled and return to the Temple, to their deaths. Master Yoda had, unsurprisingly, agreed with him, and the emergency session of the Senate which has been called gave them both the opportunity to slip to the Temple undetected.

And maybe there is also another reason for his desire to return, a reason that he cannot bring himself to think about too deeply. Thinking will mean hoping, and hope is a very dangerous thing to have in these dark times. So many Jedi have died, and Bail knows of no one other than Yoda as of yet. But Obi-Wan has not given up all hope that there are still other survivors out there. He just doesn't know if – if –

(Anakin, please be alright. Please. Please.)

There are clones guarding the outside of the Temple entrance, clones from the Coruscant Guard, and Obi-Wan doesn't hesitate to kill him, he and Yoda moving on opposite sides of the entrance as they cut down the resistance. They have to be thorough, because they cannot afford to let an alarm go out, not when the lives of so many Jedi survivors may be at stake, if indeed there still are many survivors.

The Force is clouded, dark, and that darkness only deepens as they step into the main hall of the Temple. Obi-Wan can feel the death hovering in the air, clouding the Force, and he can see the smoke and debris, the blasterfire burns on the walls, the dead bodies on the floors. The deeper they go, the worse it gets. Not only Jedi are lying here, but some clones as well, and it makes him wonder how many of them died here if they haven't even had time to remove all of the bodies.

"Not even the younglings survived," he whispers, horrified, stopping next to the body of a young boy. There are a few younglings here, lying dead on the floor, and there are clones crumpled against a wall, heads twisted at an unnatural angle that makes him feel nauseous. If he probes outwards, beyond his shields, he can feel the Dark Side tainting everything. Rage, fear, hate, pain. It's all so much, and he shudders back from it, keeping his shields firm.

"Killed not by clones these younglings were," Yoda notes, his gimer stick tapping on the floor as he moves closer, his ears drooping with sadness and grief. "By a lightsaber they were."

Obi-Wan kneels by the body, looking at the stab wound in the young boy. "Who? Who could have done this?" he asks helplessly, desperate for answers. Who among the Jedi could have turned on their own and led the clones against them? It must have been a Jedi, right? All the Sith are dead, gone, or captured in Maul's case.

Yoda doesn't answer; he doesn't know any more than Obi-Wan himself does. As they move deeper into the Temple, towards the control room from which they can dismantle the signal, Obi-Wan can't help but look at the bodies, desperately wondering if he'll find one here which will shatter whatever is left of him.

(Anakin. Anakin –)

He doesn't, and he doesn't know if that makes it better or worse.

"I have recalibrated the code, warning all surviving Jedi to stay away," he reports minutes later.

"For the clones to discover the recalibration a long time it will take," Yoda replies.

Despite himself, Obi-Wan turns towards the security recordings, a desperate desire to know. "There is something I must know," he murmurs, stepping towards it. He can feel the Grandmaster's eyes on him, but Yoda doesn't stop him as he enters the code and pulls up the recordings, trying to get an idea as to what happened here in the Temple.

(Where is Anakin? Where is he? Is he still alive?)

His breath catches when he finds the footage of Anakin in the Council chambers when the attack started, and he desperately takes him in, hoping that this won't be the last time he ever sees him. He watches as it progresses, as the younglings come, as the clones come, as – as the children die and Anakin loses it entirely, tapping into the Dark Side and Falling.

Numbly, Obi-Wan fast-forwards the footage, pausing at another moment later and watching with equal parts shock and horror as Anakin slaughters the clones like it's nothing, like they're nothing, like this isn't even hard for him. He Force chokes them, several at a time, snapping their necks and tossing their bodies aside like rag dolls. The clones never stood a chance against him, and how could they? Anakin is so powerful; he's the Chosen One, and maybe it wasn't until this moment that Obi-Wan begins to understand what that really means.

Years ago, the Council had hesitated to accept Anakin, labeling him as dangerous.

Obi-Wan never saw it. He knew Anakin had a great propensity for the Dark, but he never thought that it would be an issue. He had hoped that Anakin would come to him if he ever struggled. Seeing Anakin Fall isn't as devastating as it might have been if Anakin was against them rather than for them. He Fell, sacrificed himself to protect the Jedi, and Obi-Wan can't be angry at him for that, not when it means that Anakin survived.

He's lost so much in the past day, so many friends are now dead, but Anakin – Anakin is not. He is alive, even if he has Fallen, but Obi-Wan is too grateful that he survived to care. "We have to find him, Master," he states firmly, shutting down the recordings that show yet another scene of Anakin's carnage. "We have to find him. He can help us destroy the Emperor."

"Hm. Agree I do. Find young Skywalker we must."

"But how?" Obi-Wan asks, suddenly realizing how impossible of a task they have. "I don't know where he might have gone."

"Use your feelings, Obi-Wan," Yoda tells him cryptically, as if that is supposed to help anything, "And find him we will."

Final Notes: If you want to join our Discord to receive updates or just hang out, here's the invite link, and please delete the spaces! :) discord . gg / nqSxuz2

You can find us on tumblr at fanfictasia (which is our more serious blog which does have controversial posts on it; I won't be offended if you choose to block it, promise), and disastertriowriting (which is our fun blog with crack posts or incorrect SW quotes; we also advertise our SW gift exchanges on there)

And! We have a YT channel for tributes! Please delete the spaces in the link. :D youtube channel / UC_g1M5rSCxJUzQCRS29B6pA

Finally, if you're interested, you can submit a SW gift fic request via the following form (delete the spaces): forms . gle / rmXWtRomMMaULuPa6