Chapter 2 - Nightmares

Stede

Stede watched Ed's form next to him on the floor as daylight slowly crept across the room. He twitched and moaned in his sleep, even crying out a few times. Stede was full of concern and a helpless feeling. He didn't want to change Ed. He loved everything about him. But if he could just lessen the pain Ed felt, get him to trust him somehow. True to Stede's word, they had taken it slow last night. They kissed gently before falling asleep in each other's arms. Then, Ed's night terrors began and Stede hadn't slept a wink since.

What were the demons that haunted his dreams, Stede wondered?

Ed suddenly began to thrash, moving his body back and forth on the hard floor, his hands curled in claws, he cried out.

"No! No! I don't want to kill them!"

Stede couldn't stand it anymore. He grabbed Ed by the shoulders and shook him.

"Ed! Ed! Wake up, Ed!" he said loudly.

Ed's eyes flew open. For a moment, the terror that had been in his voice filled his orb-like, brown eyes. Then he seemed to recognize Stede. He swallowed hard, still panting from the effort of fighting off his night terror.

"I'm sorry," he said, hoarsely. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's all right, Ed," Stede said quietly. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Ed stared at Stede, his eyes huge and fearful. There was longing in there, too, Stede thought. But then, Ed shook his head, turning over on his side to face the wall.

Stede, determined to love him no matter how hard he tried to push him away, hugged Ed close to him.

"Ed, you don't have to tell me about your nightmare," Stede whispered into his hair. "But if you want to tell me, I promise this is a judgement-free zone. I will accept whatever you tell me."

Ed said nothing, but nuzzled into Stede's arm wrapped around his chest. Stede felt his heart sink. Ed was closing up again. But then –

"I love you, Stede. I love you so much."

Stede's heart melted to hear the words, his throat constricting with emotion.

"I love you, too, Ed," he said. "No matter what."

Later that morning, the two of them talked through different tasks that needed to be attended to in order to turn their house into a liveable home. Trees need to be chopped down to repair the roof and floor, and for firewood for their fire. Someone needed to take the dinghy to the neighboring town to assemble some rations and order larger items, such as a bed and furniture to be shipped to them. Ed agreed to do the former while Stede did the latter. However, just as Stede began to row away from shore, he heard Ed yell to him.

"Wait! Stede, wait!"

Stede turned around in the boat to see Ed running through the water towards him.

"What's wrong, Ed?" he asked as Ed hauled himself into the boat.

"I want to come with you," said Ed, breathlessly, shaking the water from his hair.

"But what about the roof?"

"Ah, the roof can wait," said Ed, waving his hand dismissively.

"And if there's a storm tonight?" said Stede.

"There won't be," said Ed.

"Well, all right," said Stede. "I certainly don't mind the company. Or the rowing help!"

The small town did not have much, but they purchased some pots and pans, some spices, and some food items. They had plates and goblets they had brought from the Revenge already. Stede also got some good brandy to enjoy later tonight, hoping it might ease the tension and help Ed (and therefore Stede) sleep better tonight. They also ordered a linen and sheep's wool mattress to be made for them and an armoire to be delivered to them. Ed thought the armoire was a bit much, but Stede hated to think of the state of his clothes all folded up in that trunk – even if he really wouldn't have occasion to wear them anymore.

They had just finished shopping when they passed by a stall where a wizened old woman was selling tinctures and tonics. Stede stopped, drawn in by the aromatic scent of the herbs drying on the stall's awning.

"Can I help you?" asked the woman.

"Just looking," said Stede absent-mindedly. "You wouldn't happen to have anything for sleep, would you?"

"Essence of valerian root," said the woman, handing him a small bottle. "3-5 drops and you'll have a dreamless sleep."

"You're having trouble sleeping, babe?" Ed asked Stede.

Stede stared at him. "No, well, actually," he cleared his throat. "I thought maybe it would help, um, you."

"Help me? With what?" asked Ed. "I don't have trouble sleeping."

Ed began to walk away, but the woman winked at him and handed him the bottle.

"And when you need me next, do not hesitate to come," she said seriously. "I will be able to help you."

"Um… okay," said Stede, raising his eyebrows in confusion.

He paid the woman, who stared intently at him as he did so, then walked back to the dinghy, baffled by the interaction.

By the time they got back to land, the sun was at the western edge of the sky again. They walked past Izzy's grave, both of them pressing their fingers to it as they passed. Stede wondered how Izzy would really feel about his final resting place being at the house where the love of his life was spending his life with another man? Stede could almost hear him "You fucking twat". He smiled to himself.

They cooked the meat that they had bought at the market for dinner and salted the rest to preserve it. Still with no chairs, they sat again in front of the fire, tonight sipping brandy. That was when Stede heard the first pitter patter on the roof.

"Is that… rain?" Stede said.

"Mhmm," said Ed, sipping the brandy.

"But you said there wasn't going to be a storm tonight," said Stede, horrified.

"Yeah, I did say that," said Ed, averting his eyes.

"You're never wrong about the weather," said Stede, waiting for an explanation.

"Nobody's perfect, Mate!" said Ed.

Stede raised his eyebrows. Ed looked at him and sighed.

"I may have lied about the storm," said Ed.

A large drop came down suddenly from the hole in the roof and hit Stede square on the forehead.

"You don't say?" said Stede, annoyed.

"I just… ugh, it's so stupid," he put his head in his hands.

"Babe, what is it?" asked Stede.

"I didn't want you to leave and not come back," said Ed into his hands.

Stede's heart plummeted. He still didn't trust him.

"Ed, I –"

"No, no, no," said Ed, taking his head from his hands. "It's the dumbest thing anyone's ever said or done. I know that. And now, we're gonna be all wet just because I'm a stupid idiot."

Another large drip hit Stede in the head, but he smiled. Ed's lie may not have been ideal and he was sad to think that he still trusted him so little, but at the same time Ed was talking about it, which was a far cry from the night before.

"Well, if I thought sleeping on the floor last night was an adventure," Stede said. "Tonight is going to be wild."

Ed stared at him incredulously, then burst out laughing. He laughed and laughed, spilling some brandy as he did so. The sound of his laughter made Stede's heart rise again, his whole body becoming 100 times lighter. A hurricane could rip through here and it would be worth it to hear Ed's laughter.

Then Ed did something unexpected. He scooted closer to him on the floor and wrapped his arms around him, still chuckling. He kissed Stede, then. It was a gentle kiss. Ed caressed his face as he did it. Stede felt waves of pleasure vibrate down his body with each stroke of his cheek. He had to fight to stay calm, to not wrap his arms tightly around Ed, tangle his fingers his hair, run his hands up the length of his body –

Then Ed stuck his tongue in Stede's mouth and he was a goner. He moaned, his hand going to Ed's lower back and he leaned forward, desperate to be closer to him. He remembered that one night that they had together. The feeling of being one with Ed. He ached for their bodies to be that close again.

He pushed forward, Ed leaning back on his elbow now and as Stede bent over him, running one hand up his shirt to touch his bare chest, muscled and toned after years of sailing. Ed moaned softly into Stede's lips at his touch. God, that sound was enough to drive Stede insane. He pressed his leg in between Ed's, feeling the hard bulge there. His own erection was throbbing inside his trousers. Then, unprompted and unwanted, a voice popped into his head.

Take it slow.

Stede groaned, but not from pleasure. The voice was right. As impossible as it was to rip himself away from Ed's body, if he wanted to regain Ed's trust, he had to show restraint.

He stopped kissing Ed and pulled back. Ed's face was flushed and his eyes full of a fiery desire that almost robbed Stede of all his inhibitions. He had to tear his eyes away from Ed's face and take a steadying breath.

"What is it?" asked Ed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," said Stede. "But I promised you we were going to take it slow."

"Oh, right," said Ed, sitting up and looking disappointed. "Slow."

As if to put a literal damper on the evening, the rain began to pick up in its intensity and there was now less of an occasional drip of water into the house as a steady flow. Stede put a bucket under the hole and hoped it would be enough to last through the night. They then retired to their (mercifully) holeless bedroom.

Edward

It took Ed awhile to fall asleep that night. Still half hard, he was cursing himself for saying "go slow". Then he remembered the flood of fear and panic he had felt when he saw Stede on that boat, rowing away from him and he knew he wasn't ready yet. The gail coming in through the roof right now was enough to tell him that. After much tossing and turning on the hard floor, Ed finally managed to fall asleep.

In his dream, he was with the crew of the Revenge. They were listening to Stede tell the story about the wooden boy. He should have felt at ease with Stede's soothing voice filling his ears, but something was off. None of the crew were looking at Stede. They were all staring at him. Then, Jim stood up. They picked up a cannon ball and walked towards him.

"No, I didn't do it this time! I didn't take the wheel off! I just want to listen to Stede!"

But Jim wouldn't listen. None of them would. They were gathering around him, hate and rage in their eyes, which were painted black with kohl. Then there was Izzy.

"Ed! Wake up, Ed –"

"I should have let the English kill you," Izzy said and held up a gun to Ed's head.

"Wake up, now, Ed, c'mon –"

Ed gasped awake. Stede's face slowly came into focus above his. He looked pale and wan, his hazel eyes full of concern behind his blonde lashes.

"I'm sorry," Ed croaked. "I'm so sorry."

"It's all right, Ed," said Stede patiently. "I'm right here."

Ed melted into Stede's arms, which always seemed to be open to comfort him these days.

"You said my name," said Stede.

"You were there. In the dream," said Ed.

"And it was that bad, huh?" said Stede, teasingly.

"I was listening to you tell the story of the wooden boy," said Ed. "We all were. But then the crew – they turned on me. No less than I deserve, I guess."

"Don't be ridiculous –" Stede began.

"You weren't there," Ed said quietly. "Trust me, I deserved it. Maybe not in my dream, but in real life I certainly did."

"Well, that's in the past now," said Stede, awkwardly. "Let's try to get a few more hours of sleep, okay?"

"Okay. Love you," Ed said, automatically.

Ed felt Stede's chest swell underneath his head.

"I love you, too, Ed."

The next morning, though, Stede looked rather worse for wear as they mopped up the floor from the rain and debris that had been washed in with the storm.

"Babe, why don't you go lay down," said Ed. "You looked dead on your feet."

"I'm fine," said Stede, rubbing his eyes. "How are you not tired?"

"Why would I be?" Ed asked.

"You have nightmares all night long!" said Stede.

"I do?" said Ed.

He knew he had had a bad dream that woke Stede up last night, but he didn't realize it had been going on all night.

"Yes, you do," said Stede, sighing. "Are you sure you don't want to talk it out?"

"I don't really remember the dreams in the morning," Ed lied, shrugging.

"Well, I think you should at least try that tincture I got yesterday at the market to help you sleep tonight," said Stede.

"Ugh that witch potion? I dunno, man."

"Please, Ed, for me," said Stede, imploringly. "Besides, it's not a potion. It's just a plant extract that's taken from –"

"Oh fine, fine, fine," Ed grumbled.

They chopped down two trees for their purposes. Stede went to work mending the roof and Ed mended the floor. It was not a neat job, but it would have to do. Later in the afternoon, some of the furniture they had ordered arrived, including their bed. Ed fixed up the old four-poster bed frame in their room so that it could support their mattress. Between that, the armoire, and the fact that they now had kitchen chairs, things were looking much homier than they had before.

"Hey, this place is really coming together," said Stede, smiling around at their home.

Ed watched him looking around at the work he had done and his heart swelled with pride. He walked over to Stede, wrapped his arms around him, and kissed him.

They ate dinner and then went to bed early. Both of them were tired from the day of manual labor, plus Ed was not exactly sleeping as well as he pretended to be. He took the witch potion, like Stede asked and fell asleep within seconds of laying down on their new bed.

Ed did not dream all night. He woke, warm in their bed, with Stede's arms wrapped around him, spooning him, feeling more well rested than he had in years. Their bed faced the window and Ed watched the sun come up over the eastern side of the cove for a while, blinking sleepily into the dawn. Then, Stede made some small noises. He was moving his body against Ed's and Ed could feel that he was aroused. Smiling, Ed glanced over his shoulder. Stede was still fast asleep and Ed could be fairly confident about the contents of his dreams.

Poor boy. He really had been teasing him these past few days. Stede never complained about taking it slow, but Ed could tell that he was desperate for physical intimacy again. Desperate to fuck Ed again. The thought turned Ed on so much, he turned around to face Stede. Ed moved his hand down Stede's chest and down the side of his leg until he could get under the night shirt that Stede was wearing. Then he traveled his hand back up Stede's legs until –

"Oh," Stede gasped, his eyes fluttering open.

"Good morning," Ed said, smiling devilishly, his hand slowly stroking Stede's rock-hard erection.

"Oh my God," Stede said, his eyes closing again in pleasure, but then opening again just as quickly. "Ed, you don't have to do this –"

"Well, I certainly couldn't keep sleeping, with your cock grinding against my ass all morning, now could I?" Ed teased.

"I'm sorry –" Stede started, but Ed silenced him by crushing his lips against his.

Stede melted into him, moaning softly as Ed's hand movements became faster, harder.

"Oh God, Ed –" Stede gasped, clutching Ed tightly.

The sounds of ecstasy that Stede made as he climaxed were almost enough to make Ed cum too. When he was spent, Stede laid on his back, still breathing hard, but with a look of angelic contentment on his face. Ed kissed him again, softly this time.

"Was that okay?" Stede whispered, a look of concern suddenly flitting across his face.

"I was about to ask you the same question," said Ed, smiling.

"That was," Stede breathed a laugh, "a wonderful surprise. But you really didn't have to –"

"I know I didn't have to, mate, but I wanted to," said Ed, firmly. "I really, really wanted to."

Stede smiled and then his eyebrows raised. He knew Stede was feeling Ed's own erection against his thigh.

"Shall I return the favor?" Stede asked.

Ed's body was screaming "yes!". The thought of Stede's hand on his cock, their bodies pressed together again as Stede stroked him until he was spent too, sounded like heaven. But a voice in his head said, Do you really want him to see you like that? Vulnerable? Weak? A normal, boring human man?

"Nah, I'm good," Ed said, moving away from Stede and trying to will himself back into softness. "We should probably get up, anyway. Lots of stuff to do today."

"Oh, okay," said Stede, looking slightly disappointed.

"I'm actually gonna go for a quick swim. I'll be right back."

Before Stede could say anything, Ed jumped up from the bed and walked out of the room. The morning was already warm and sticky with humidity. Ed walked across the beach, stripping as he went. His erection was still very much present, so he was glad they were the island's only inhabitants. Once he was deep in the cool water, floating on the gentle waves of the cove, Ed brought his own hand to his cock. He stroked it, thinking of the way that Stede looked as Ed had touched him, the noises he had made, and fantasizing about another life where Ed could just be a normal man.