Cameras… all around the house, even in the bathrooms according to Ryuk.
The thought of L watching his family, His little sister, go about their days without the knowledge someone was watching their every move, infuriated Light.
Did his father know of this? Most likely.
Which means the NPA (L) suspects someone in the Yagami household, most likely him.
But of course they wouldn't rule out anyone, hence why the cameras aren't just in his room.
Now the question was, how does he continue to kill criminals while simultaneously being watched and coming off as just a regular (high achieving) teenager?
While out on his 'walk' he picked up some mini disposable tvs, knowing they'd come to good use.
Now all he had to do was direct L's attention to something Other than him being Kira.
Even if L decided that Light was in fact not Kira, there was no doubt he suspected Light of hiding something, and Light was going to direct his attention to that 'something'
L wanted a show? Well Light would give him one.
Turning his attention back to his homework, he pretended to study it intensely.
The contents of the paper were high level math problems, a nightmare for most students his age.
He already knew all the answers to them, not that whoever (L) was watching him needed to know.
He let out a frustrated groan, slamming his fist onto the desk in faux frustration, making sure he appeared distressed over the problems on the paper.
Quickly he pushed himself from his chair and began to pace the length of his room, whilst tugging roughly at strands in his grasp, pulling a distressed face.
Ryuk watched with confusion and interest as the boy paced back and forth.
After about 5 minutes of his constant pacing and tugging, he brought his attention to one of the drawers located in his desk.
Slowly as if almost hesitantly, he walked to the desk, grabbing the metal handle to the specific drawer.
He carefully, as if not wanting to make any noise, pulled it open.
He made sure every camera saw the shake of his hands as they unsteadily held the handle, every tab wire heard his deep breaths catching in his throat.
Distantly he wondered if his father was watching through the cameras right now.
What would he think of what Light was about to do?
If he was watching… Light almost felt a semblance of pity for the man.
He quickly shoved the emotion down, this was necessary to ensure the success in creating the new world, for the guarantee of him raining as the new world's one and only God.
His father would understand one day, after Light shapes the world to perfection, he will understand why he did this.
Light grabbed ahold of a small polished wooden handle sitting in the drawer.
A pocket knife, a gift from his dad, he never brought it with him, not seeing it as necessary.
But now it would finally come to use…
Light was a tremendous actor, he could pull tears on the happiest day of his life if he wanted to.
Light let out a choked sob as he pulled the knife from its sheath, letting tears fall down his cheeks as if this was all real.
He lifted the left sleeve of his shirt, running his fingers along the smooth unmarked flesh.
That would change in a minute…
And just for extra effect he added "why can't I do anything right, why can't I be perfect" before bringing the blade to his wrist and dragging the sharp edge into his skin.
He shook and cried as he did this
He wanted to laugh, he couldn't believe he was doing this.
The blade stung against his arm, but it wasn't real, God's didn't feel pain so it was all an allusion.
Pulling the blade across his skill 3 more times, he was left with four horizontal cuts, blood slowly seeping out of the wounds.
He had made sure not to cut to deep, he couldn't be the God of the new world if he died of blood loss after all.
He threw the knife onto his bed away from him, as if horrified by it, burying his face in his hands.
He could help but smile manically behind his fingers. He wanted to laugh, but he couldn't, so he acted as if the shivers and shaking of his body were the sobs he released.
L watched with Chief Yagami as his son cut open his wrist violently with a pocket knife.
L was shocked to say the least, he had expected a lot from Light Yagami, in fact he had imagined hundreds of scenarios of what he would see when he watched the boy.
This had not been in any of them…
The detective turned his head slowly to look at the man beside him, he was staring wide eyed looking horrified at the screen as his son sobbed into his hands, blood dripping down his arm in a slow trickle.
The man looked frozen, as if a statue.
"Mr. Yagami, I think it would be best if you sit down, I will have Watari bring you a glass of water ". The man didn't object, he fell heavily into the chair behind him, he looked paler than usual.
Quickly sending a message to Watari, L brought his attention back to the screen that held Light Yagami's room.
Now the boy had pushed himself against the back of his bed, with his knees to his chin, he still shook with sobs, and the blood from his arm was getting onto his clothes, not that Light seemed to notice.
Now L wasn't heartless, he held sympathy for those struggling, whether it be with their mental health, drugs, or anything else.
And a part of him felt sorry for the boy, he was just a teenager trying to live up to everyones high expectations of him, and L could kinda relate to that.
But another part of him, the detective in him told him this could be an act, Light Yagami was considered a genius among his peers, who's to say he's not manipulating L where he stands with this show of self harm and self hatred.
For all L knows he could be aware of the cameras and is toying with L like he was a part of a game.
He could not dismiss this idea, he would keep it close to him, but he knew he couldn't tell Chief Yagami of this, or he could end up with a black eye.
He took another glance at the man and noticed he was holding a glass of water, hands slightly shaking as he held the glass tightly, his eyes were downcast, no longer looking at the tv.
Watari stood behind him in a polite manner. When did he get here?
The man sent him a glance and then looked at Yagami then back at him. L did not like what Watari was implying
He shook his head violently, how the hell do you comfort someone, especially in a situation like this.
Watari glared at him, L sighed, knowing there was no way he could win this.
He moved so he was right next to the man beside him. It seemed the Chief was avoiding looking at the screen any longer.
He lifted his hand to pat his back, but decided against it and brought it down quickly, Instead opting to clear his throat.
"Mr. Yagami… how are you… doing, now that you have seen… that" L asked awkwardly, he could hear the sound of a palm slapping against a face but chose to ignore it.
"I-I don't know what to-to think, my son he-hes hurting himself, he-he's, has he done this before? why would he do this to himself?!"
The man rambled desperately, his voice shook with too many emotions L couldn't be bothered to decipher.
L doubted he was actually speaking to him, but he listened to the man anyway.
"Well considering the lack of scaring, it's possible this is the first time on his arms, or maybe he just didn't cut deep enough to make them scar" Yagami began to stand, looking like he was ready to jump from his seat and strangle the air out of L.
And he might have, if Watari hadn't stepped in "Mr. Yagami I think it would be best if you went home for the night, it seems your family needs you, and you could use your family"
"Yes you're right I-" Yagami stopped himself "what do I do, how do I face him, how do i face any of them, after- after seeing… what I just saw"
"I may not know or understand how you are feeling nor what you are going through, but may I suggest, reaching out to your son, seeing how he is doing, you don't have to mention anything we just saw, but it is clear the boy is struggling, and he could use familial support right now…" Watari spoke kindly, a sad smile on his face.
Chief Yagami had collected his belongings, not letting his eyes go anywhere near the tv, where the live feed of his son's room still sat.
He was heading towards the door "I- thank you Watari, I will try and talk to him" the man said before he rushed out the door.