Despite being pretty tired following the battle at the graveyard, and enjoying a deep night's sleep, Harry was still awake early, and when he headed downstairs to see if he could grab some breakfast, he found Voldemort was already seated in the dining room. The dark wizard looked as relaxed as Harry had ever seen him.
"How are you doing this morning, Harry?" Voldemort asked as the young wizard sat down opposite him.
"Good," Harry replied with a thoughtful nod. "I feel free."
"You are free," Voldemort said solemnly. "The world is your oyster, and you can now do whatever you like with your life. Just as long as you remember that you'll always have a home here with us, and Hermione, Jean and I will always think of you as family."
"That feeling is mutual," Harry admitted. "Although there is someone I was hoping to speak with today. Sirius."
"Ah, your godfather," Voldemort said with a nod. "I am happy to honour the promise you made to him last night, Harry. At this stage, I have no intention of starting more skirmishes with what remains of the Order. Providing they keep out of my way and do not cause me any trouble, they can get on with their lives."
"Does that mean Sirius didn't fight?" Harry checked. "It was rather hectic, and even though I didn't see him, I couldn't be sure that he'd left."
"He left," Voldemort confirmed. "Lucius saw him leave. So if you want to reach out to him, then go ahead. I just hope it works out how you want it to."
"It's a chance I'll have to take," Harry said with a shrug. "Although I do have a couple of favours I want to ask you."
When Harry told Voldemort what he wanted, the dark wizard happily obliged on both accounts. One of the things Harry asked for couldn't be done immediately, but the second request only took Voldemort a few moments to fulfil.
"Are you taking Hermione with you when you go to see Black?" Voldemort asked.
"No offence, but I don't think her presence will help matters," Harry said with a slight snort.
"I don't suppose it would," Voldemort agreed with a chuckle. "Although knowing my daughter she will not be happy with you going off without her, so if I were you, I would finish my breakfast quickly and be gone before she rises."
"Now that is a very devious suggestion," Harry remarked with a laugh.
"I wasn't a Slytherin for nothing," Voldemort retorted with a smirk.
As Harry finished his breakfast, he asked about the results of the battle and Voldemort admitted that he had lost a few Death Eaters, but none that Harry would likely know. He also admitted that while the Order had sustained losses, not as many of them had stayed to fight as it had seemed. He also confirmed that when he and his Death Eaters had left the graveyard, they had left everyone else as they were. Of course, they had taken their own dead to be buried with respect, but they had left the dead Order members to be afforded the same courtesy, and anyone who had simply been knocked out or injured badly in the course of the battle had been left alive. Although it was also made clear that they would only stay alive if they kept out of Voldemort's road and didn't interfere as he took the final steps of gaining ultimate control of Wizarding Britain.
Leaving Voldemort to get on with whatever he planned on doing for the rest of the day, Harry headed back to his room to grab his coat and he quickly left the house before Hermione woke up and tried to convince him to let her go with him. As nice as her presence would have been, and she likely could have explained things better to Sirius, he knew this was something he had to do alone. And it was also something he had to do before he could truly move on with his life.
It was only as Harry was partway through apparating to Grimmauld Place that it occurred to him that he might no longer be welcome at his godfather's home. However, it was too late to change course, so all he was able to do was brace himself to be rejected by the wards surrounding Sirius's house. Although it proved to be unnecessary as Harry slipped past the wards easily and he appeared right behind the front door, which was the usual apparition point in the house.
Ignoring the portrait of Sirius's mother, who started to yell about being woken up, Harry headed in the direction of the kitchen. However, when he passed the door to the living room, he spotted Sirius lying sprawled on the sofa. Stepping into the room, Harry could smell the alcohol, and he spotted an empty bottle of firewhisky and a glass lying on the floor beside Sirius.
"Sirius," he called, nudging his godfather's shoulder.
After a couple of prods, Sirius began to stir, but it took a jet of water in his face to wake him up properly. Although no sooner had he woken then he rolled off the sofa and landed on the floor with a thud.
"Harry?" he muttered, squinting up at his godson.
"I came to talk to you, but I don't know if you're in a fit state," Harry said with a sigh.
"I can talk," Sirius slurred, clutching at the sofa as he tried to haul himself to his feet.
"Maybe once you've sobered up," Harry muttered. "Go and get yourself a shower and see if there's any hangover potion in the bathroom. I'll make you some strong coffee and a bacon sandwich."
Sirius didn't argue as he finally managed to get to his feet and stagger off up the stairs. While Sirius was sorting himself out, Harry headed into the kitchen and started frying some bacon. By the time Sirius returned, freshly showered and looking a bit more sober, Harry had a large bacon sandwich sitting on the table and he was pouring two cups of coffee. Setting one cup in front of his godfather, he waited until he'd drank half of it in one go before topping him up and taking his own coffee and sitting down opposite him.
"Where do I begin?" he mused as Sirius gobbled up his sandwich.
"The beginning is usually a good place," Sirius remarked, sounding much more like himself.
"I suppose the beginning goes back to before I can remember," Harry said softly. "But for me, it all started when I was six and for the first time in my life, I made a friend. Living with the Dursleys, I hadn't had any friends, Dudley had made sure of that. But then I met a girl at the park, and we became friends. That was Hermione and I was soon spending all my free time with her."
"At six years old?" Sirius questioned with a slight frown. "Didn't your Aunt Petunia have anything to say about that?"
"I wasn't at home, getting in the way, so Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon couldn't have cared less," Harry snorted. "They never wanted me, Sirius. I didn't receive one scrap of affection in that house. Instead, I found a friend and she and her mother showed me what being part of a family is really like."
"So they groomed you when you were too young to know any better," Sirius said with a bite as he shook his head, clearly imagining his young godson had been manipulated and taken advantage of.
"I wasn't never forced to do anything, not then and not now," Harry insisted. "It was through Hermione and her mother that I learnt about magic, that I learnt that I was a wizard. They also told me the truth about my parents, and what had really happened the night I became an orphan."
"You mentioned something about Lily turning to the dark last night, but you're wrong, Harry," Sirius insisted. "I knew your mother, and she would never do that. She would never serve him."
"Whoever said she had agreed to serve him?" Harry questioned with a snort. "I said she had done a deal with The Dark Lord. You know about the prophecy, and you know how Dumbledore decided that it was either about me or Neville. You also know that Neville's parents refused to play into the prophecy, and they refused to let Dumbledore play a part in how they raised Neville. You should also know that my father didn't make those same objections."
"It wasn't exactly like that," Sirius argued. "Yes, Frank and Alice were reluctant to allow the prophecy to influence how they raised their son, but in the end it didn't matter. Dumbledore studied it further and decided that it was about you, and not Neville. He knew what sort of reaction You-Know-Who would have to the prophecy, and he convinced James that you needed to be protected. That you needed to be raised, knowing how to protect yourself."
"And you still believe this after last night?" Harry scoffed. "Can you honestly look me in the eye and say that there's no chance Dumbledore manipulated the situation to get what he wanted? The Longbottoms didn't want to play his games, so he focused on my family, and found my father will willing to go along with him."
Sirius opened his mouth to object, but as Harry had said, the previous evening had proved to him just how dangerous Dumbledore could be. And as he reminded himself last night, he was also a charmer and had always known how to get people to see things his way. Plus, as much as Sirius didn't want to admit it, James had sort of idolised the headmaster, and they'd certainly been getting closer and spending more and more time together in the months before his death.
"As I'm sure you're also aware, The Dark Lord admired my mother and her magical abilities," Harry continued. "He wanted her to join him, which she obviously refused time and time again. But then my father fell under Dumbledore's spell, and she was worried about what sort of future I would have. She feared I would be raised as a weapon to use against The Dark Lord, and when she spoke to my father about her fears, he dismissed her. Eventually, she got so worried that she went to The Dark Lord for help. She still refused to join him, but she promised him that if he could help get her and me away from the Order, she would ensure that I was never used as a weapon against him. She promised him that I would never fight against him. And that is a promise I have also made to him."
"But how can you know all of this?" Sirius demanded. "And how could Hermione and her mother have known this? They couldn't have told you all of this before you even started school."
"Ah, but they did," Harry said. "Not right away, as I was too young to truly understand when we first met. But as I got older, they told me their story. Hermione's mother had always known about the bargain my mother had made with The Dark Lord. And as for what happened the night my parents died, The Dark Lord had enough mental awareness to send his wife the truth before he was rendered incapable."
"And what exactly is he claiming happened the night James and Lily died?" Sirius demanded. "Is he denying killing them?"
"The night they died was the night he planned to help my mother and I leave," Harry explained. "He's not sure why it happened, but my father came home unexpectedly. A fight broke out when he realised my mother was leaving him, and in the chaos, she was killed. My father and The Dark Lord continued to fight, and yes, he admits that he killed him."
"And yet you're still happy to be on his side," Sirius sneered. "He murdered your father, Harry."
"A father who was going to let Dumbledore raise me as a weapon to be used in this sodding war," Harry spat. "I won't lie and say it's not complicated and I have mixed feelings about the whole issue, but I've made my peace with what happened. I can accept what happened, because of the choices I have been given. Despite what you may think, I didn't vow to join him before I started Hogwarts. I went to school with my eyes open, and over the years I've seen enough to make my own mind up on which side I wanted to be part of."
"You say you made your own mind up, but the seed of doubt was already planted," Sirius argued. "I can hear it in what you're saying. You went to Hogwarts already hating Dumbledore."
"I went to Hogwarts aware of how manipulative certain people thought he was," Harry countered. "But I saw that manipulation for myself in that very first year. He brought a dangerous object into a castle full of children, knowing that it would draw The Dark Lord to it. He didn't try and hide the Philosopher's Stone somewhere out of way, where no-one would get hurt, he hid it inside a castle full of children. And the adults who should have known better, who should have convinced him it was a bad idea, ended up helping him protect it. Even at eleven years old, I could see the influence he wielded over people. And not just any witches and wizards, but some of the smartest and bravest people I've ever met. Think about it Sirius, he had the likes of Professor McGonagall going along with his madcap scheme, and she's not the sort of witch to simply go along with something she doesn't think is right. Yet, where Dumbledore was concerned, she followed him like a lamb."
Sirius was quiet as he allowed himself to think on what Harry was saying. To be honest it fit with some of his own thoughts the previous evening about how powerful and charismatic Dumbledore could be.
"I can see why you hate Dumbledore," Sirius eventually admitted. "And after what I learnt last night, I hate him as well. I saw it in his eyes when you said he meant to sacrifice you, it was true. He would have let you go to your death, claiming it was for the greater good."
"Indeed he would," Harry agreed with a nod.
"But what about everyone else?" Sirius asked. "Why turn on the rest of the Order? Why betray the rest of us like that? Or did any of them know about his plans?"
"I don't know if anyone else knew," Harry admitted with a shrug. "But I weighed up my options with the rest of the Order before helping Hermione devise her plan. I've spent years around these people, and I came to the conclusion that if they did know the truth, they would have still gone along with Dumbledore's plan. I believe he had more than enough sway over the Order to get them all to agree to his plan, even if it did mean killing me."
"You didn't think the Weasleys would fight for you?" Sirius checked. "They love you like you were one of their own."
"No, they love the idea of me," Harry scoffed. "So many people love the idea of me. The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One, the saviour of the wizarding world. If sacrificing me was what was required to keep their family safe, then I believe Molly and Arthur would have gone along with it. They might have felt remorse and wished there was another way, but I don't believe they would have fought for me and my life. I don't believe anyone would have done that. Not if it meant going up against Dumbledore."
"What about me?" Sirius whispered in a hurt voice. "Didn't you think I might have fought for you."
"I did consider it several times," Harry admitted with a sad smile. "Then you would say or do something that reminded me how close you were with my father. He was my own flesh and blood, and he was willing to listen to Dumbledore and raise me as a weapon, even against the wishes of his wife. What if you'd been the same? What if you'd been under Dumbledore's thrall as well? I'm sorry Sirius, but I couldn't risk it. Maybe I was wrong, about you, about the Weasleys, or about anyone else in the Order. But I made my choices, and I stand by them."
"Even now?" Sirius asked softly.
"Especially now," Harry confirmed. "Now, because of the choices I've made, I'm free. I get to live a life of my choosing. I get to do whatever I want for the rest of my life. I don't have to play a role anymore. I don't have to live up to everyone's expectations. Gone is the weight of being the Chosen One. I am simply Harry."
"And what does the future hold for simply Harry?" Sirius asked. "More fighting for You-Know-Who? A joining of the Death Eaters?"
"There won't be any more fighting unless the Order, or what's left of it, continue to try and stand against him," Harry said with a shrug. "With Dumbledore gone, there's very little standing in his way as he aims to take full power. As for my future, I haven't decided where it lies just yet. But I would like to think there will be a place for you in it, if you want it."
"But what does my future hold?" Sirius asked, pushing aside the revelation that Dumbledore was indeed dead. He didn't feel remotely sad at the loss, and he would consider later what it would mean for him personally. "Isn't he going to track down the rest of the Order and take them out?"
"No, he doesn't want any more fighting," Harry said. "Feel free to pass the word around if you want. He will only retaliate if he is attacked first. If you simply leave him alone, you can all get on with your lives."
"And what will my life look like, Harry?" Sirius snorted. "In case you've forgotten, I'm still technically a wanted criminal. Dumbledore always said my pardon awaited at the end of the war."
"He could have cleared your name long before now if he'd wanted to do so," Harry snorted in derision. "I don't know for sure, but I think he could even have possibly stopped you from going to prison in the first place. But then again, it suited his plans for you to be out of the way, that way it was easier to give me to my muggle relatives that wanted nothing to do with me. But that is beside the point. What I was planning on telling you was that I can get your name cleared. When The Dark Lord takes power at the Ministry, he can have your name officially cleared, and he will make sure the truth will come out so that you can truly be a free man again. But, if you don't want it, if you don't want to feel beholden to him, which I know you might not want to, he's promised me that no attempt will be made to find you and return you to Azkaban. You will simply be forgotten. The choice is yours, Sirius. Neither can happen right at this moment, but all you have to do is say the word, and when it's possible, you'll either be a free man or a forgotten one. Either way, you don't have to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder."
Not sure what to say, Sirius merely bobbed his head in thanks. Harry's words about Dumbledore had stirred up long buried suspicions, and now he was once again wondering if his going to Azkaban could have been avoided. Could Dumbledore really have stepped in to save him all those years ago? And could he also have won him a pardon long before now?
"I'll leave you to think things over, Sirius," Harry said as he got to his feet. "I would like us to remain in each other's lives, but I'll understand if you don't think that it's feasible. Oh, and there is one more thing," he said, pulling a vial of swirling silverly memories from his pocket and placing it on the kitchen table in front of his godfather. "I know you still might not believe what The Dark Lord said about my parents, so these are his memories. I saw them a long time ago, but he gave me fresh copies this morning. These are all his interactions with my mother. Watch them and you will see that he was only trying to help her. Yes, of course he was helping himself as she promised him that I would never fight against him, but he was also helping her. He was willing to do the right thing, and for that alone, I am happy to stand at his side. Goodbye, Sirius, I hope to hear from you soon."
Leaving his godfather to digest everything they had spoken about, Harry headed back to the home he shared with Hermione and her family. He was sure that if his best friend had been with him she could have helped him put his point across more succinctly, but he thought he'd done a pretty god job of explaining things to Sirius. And if Sirius couldn't accept the choices he'd made, then so be it. He'd done all he could to keep a relationship going with his godfather, and now the ball was firmly in Sirius's court.