PART 3
'O Divine Art of Subtlety an Secrecy! Through You We Learn To Be Invisible, Through You Inaudible, and Hence We Can Hold The Enemy's Fate In Our Hands-Sun Tzu, The Art of War'
"No." After Yuri and I entered into the planning and strategy room, I'd spent the better part of this last hour debating "trouble spots" in any of my potential plans with everyone. "We will find another way." Now, we were busy arguing the finer points of our stringent laws pertaining to Moroi being in the field, versus our possible need for a spirit user with us on the super-secret mission to "retrieve" Mason after it was suggested that we bring along a spirit user, more as contingency than as a concrete strategy.
"We do not need a spirit user, but you want to put another life at risk in case of some unnecessary unlikelihood that the spirit magic in our weapons is not enough?" I was arguing with Stefan. "You want to risk a Moroi life, a life that wouldn't be needed with us in the first place?"
"Isn't that what you are doing?" Stef referred to the fact that I was stubbornly bringing Christian Ozera along with us. I immediately changed the subject, unwilling to let the tension I was building up in myself explode just yet.
"The only spirit users at Court right now are the Queen, Adrian Ivashkov, and Sonya. I am not going to explain to all of the nosy gossip spreading Court individuals why we are taking Lissa away from Court, or for how long. Besides, the Moroi royal Council would never sanction anything like that." I left out the argument of also wanting to keep Lissa out of mortal danger, when I'd chosen to bring Christian with us. I didn't need anyone throwing that back in my face again and again.
"What about Adrian?" Eddie offered. He and Adrian Ivashkov had spent a two year span of time in hiding together, becoming relatively close friends over time. And even after that, the pair were still pretty close.
I still had to refuse. "I'm not putting his emotional or mental health in jeopardy for this. Think about what his being in that situation would do to Jill." I used the fact that Adrian and Jill were shadow-kissed to keep Adrian from this fight.
"And you are not going to ask Sonya for similar reasons." Yuri added, and I knew that he too was still ruminating over my resiliency to bring Christian with us.
"Sonya has been through enough." The debating continued for another twenty minutes before my attention suddenly shifted to the other conversation being had in the room. It was also another potential problem.
"We have to pin down his exact location first." Eddie said over more arguing Guardians, quieting them. "Then we can debate the rest." He was referring to Mason's exact location.
I sat down silently listening as others studied, disputed, and tried to determine methods of attack. When the door opened again, Christian arrived tentatively. Dimitri said something quietly to his Moroi before sending him to sit beside me. I was happy to have Christian beside me, the closeness we brought to each other, with our original bond returning.
"We know one thing for sure." Shane spoke up. "We know that he is in Dublin somewhere. All we need is an exact location to determine our perimeter, how to hit him, and how to keep the area clear of humans and public record."
Eddie and I can help with most of that." I mentioned, sliding away from Christian to stand at the table, across from Eddie. "Over the last six months, Eddie and I have been writing code and developing a new program for tracking."
Eddie reluctantly admitted to developing new software with me. "Recognition software is not the only program type that the Guardian Court retains and puts to use. Bellamy asked me about eight months ago, to help her come up with a way of making it easier to seek and find specific Strigoi that the Council has Guardians out looking for."
We caught each other's eyes, and smiled. Eddie and I had had a secret for eight months, and no one, not even Jesse, Sophie, or Dimitri had known about this.
"We found it absolutely impossible to improve on Bridgette's program, so we decided to design a new program that improved everything else." I said
"Eight months?" Shane eyed me and Eddie, unable to stay quiet about not being let in on our secret. "You kept this secret for eight months?"
"Eddie wanted to make sure that it was finished and fully operational before we took it to either Court."
"How does it all work?" Stef stepped in closer.
Eddie and I went to work, setting up two separate laptops, and pulling our program up onto our screens.
"I'm in." I told him.
"Me too."
We started typing, ignoring the commentary being had around us while we worked, studying and narrowing down our locations.
"I don't see anything in Dublin."
"Neither do I." I returned, slowly scanning the area Mason was said to be seen in the week prior. "I'll run the outlying cities and towns through the system." My eyes tilted up to Dimitri as he cleared his throat, looking more impressed from across the table. "It works much the same as Bridgette's program," I explained to him, "but ours gets closer, plus it is connected to the Court's facial recognition software, as well as all of the security cameras in the cities watched by the Guardian Court."
"Our program also moves faster than most others used by the Courts." Eddie added.
"When did you two get so good at computer programming?" Stef questioned us, and I heard Dimitri mumble a familiar phrase.
"A Guardian is never just a Guardian."
I smiled, but pointed to Eddie. "It was mostly Eddie. Turns out, he is a super genius at computers and software. Also, he can code faster than most Guardians at Court."
Eddie rolled his eyes as I complimented him.
"He is not in the outlying areas of the city either." I mentioned, running through our program features.
"Let's back up." Eddie suggested, meaning that he and I should expand our search area again.
"How far?"
"Won't checking city by city take too long?" Dimitri asked, and I caught the smirk cross Eddie's face.
"We don't need to search city by city with our program." I replied, keeping any complaints or sarcastic comments about our work out of Eddie's mouth. "Let's spread out. We'll do a country search."
Eddie nodded, looking up slightly at me, sensing what I had said to Dimitri was meant to silence him.
"Nothing." I said. "There is nothing."
"Are you sure your computer skills are as good as Bellamy claims?"
Both Eddie and I gave Shane dirty looks.
"He was in Ireland last week when the cameras caught him, but he has since fled that country."
"So," I saw Alberta sit beside Eddie, leaning in to examine his work, "you can get access to any city camera used by the Guardian Court?" She was as fascinated as Dimitri.
"Guardian and Moroi security cameras." Eddie corrected.
While the two talked about how the program worked, and all of its different uses, I kept my eyes on the prize, widening my search until my screen had full maps of every world continent and country, at my disposal.
"There!" I shouted, turning every head in the room. "Gotcha."
"Where are you?" Eddie was immediately concentrated again.
It took me another few minutes to answer him as I zoomed back in towards the stationary red dot that my search centralized on.
"I'm in Vienna." I tried keeping my confused tone quiet.
"Vienna?" But clearly I was not the only confused person in the room.
"How did he go from Ireland to Austria? That's an odd change of heart."
"No, it's not." I said, not giving any more information than that. The significance of the city was a closely guarded secret between me and Mason alone.
"We have to go now." Eddie stated firmly, before he moves again.
"He's stationary. It's day there." I looked at the time. "It's two am here, which means it is eight over there."
"Bells." Eddie and Shane must've figured I was procrastinating.
"If we left now, it would be six in the evening when we stepped off of the plane."
"And?"
"And I don't want anyone to know I'm going after him until we are right up on him. We can leave at one or two in the morning, and arrive in Vienna at noon. That would give us the time we need to get there, get set up, plan accordingly, and do our job correctly."
"In that case, I say we leave at ten tonight. We will get there at eight am…tomorrow?" Shane was hilarious when he tried to do math in his head. He made a good point though.
"Your math is right." I confirmed. "And ten is fine. The jet will take off at ten." I settled any debate that might be had, and as plans were made to leave sooner rather than later, I sat back down beside Christian, leaning into him as his arms circled me. I stayed quiet, half listening to the others while still contemplating more of a plan for the Council on my own.
"Silence is never pointless where you are concerned." Yuri sat with me and Christian.
I looked over to him. This man knew me so well, and I was not going to deny his observations. I was contemplating strategies and tactical control of the looming fight.
"There has to be a reason he has been able to go unseen for so long. How the hell has he stayed under the radar for so long?
"Besides the fact that we were under the impression that he had died in Seattle?" Shane overheard my questions. "We weren't looking for him because as far as we knew, he was…"
"It's more than that."
Dimitri was studying me still as I put pieces of another puzzle of information together in my head.
"I recognize that look in your eyes." He smirked smugly, knowing he had learned to read my expressions better over the years. "You're thinking philosophically. What are you considering?"
"I was thinking about logic and politics. More importantly, I was thinking about strategy. The big ball of weird in my head started mixing soccer plays with the strategic structures in 'The Art of War'."
Dimitri laughed out loud. "Only you would be clever enough to merge those two things together."
"It's borderline genius." Alberta agreed. "What exactly do you have in mind?"
I stood, moving back up to the table where Eddie and Stef had spread maps out.
"'All warfare is based on deception.'" I said. "In other words, in laying plans, we never let on what we have planned. We do not all six surround him in the field, and if he does show, we do not show our force at once."
Dimitri was leaning back in his chair now, grinning, his chin resting to his palm.
"Am I missing anything?"
He sat back up, his smugness still showing. "'If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles'"
This time I laughed. "You're quoting Sun Tzu to me?"
He shrugged.
"I'm impressed, Thor."
"Bells," Shane spoke again, "how do we all keep from surrounding and subduing the enemy?" I was not the only one who noticed that Shane had replaced Mason's name with the word 'enemy', but none of us said anything yet. "Wouldn't it be better, or wouldn't we have a better chance with more Guardians on the offense?"
"Of course it will be easier to subdue him with more Guardians, but no one, even Strigoi is daft enough to jump into the center ring of a fight with experienced Guardians. We need the element of surprise. Chris and I will be out in the open." I clarified. "We will bait the enemy into gracing us with his presence. I can antagonize him into an attack. I'm good at antagonizing others with my words." I winked at Christian and Dimitri. Yuri laughed out loud in agreement. "His attack first will provide me with cause to attack in return. Before I attack, Stef and Shane will be signaled to join the ambush."
"Bells, there is just one fault in your plan." Yuri had once referred to 'The Art of War' as my Guardian handbook. Like me, he knew it well. The word 'fault' was also a reference from the philosophical battle guide. I did not question, but waited for him to continue.
"Christian." He said. "I believe the phrase in war conditions goes 'over-solicitude for another exposes one to worry and trouble'."
The not so subtle reference to Christian was not lost on me. He would be the one I would worry about in a fight with Mason, or any Strigoi.
"It also exposes your weaknesses." Dimitri added.
"Christian." I said his name. "You are right to think that I don't want to see Christian in harm's way. I will worry terribly and my focus will be distracted. It is not just hesitation that gets you killed. Distraction can be one's downfall too."
"So, what do you plan on doing so that you are not distracted?" Christian asked, hoping I had an answer.
"The fact that I have even considered involving you in this fight, in any capacity does not sit well with quite a few people, including your Guardian." I met Dimitri's gaze again. "But, if anyone for a moment thinks that I would not have plans and multiple contingency plans in place before involving you, if anyone thought I would let anything or anyone hurt you, then they do not know me as well as was thought."
Dimitri acknowledged the truth in my comment.
"I am officially Jesse's Guardian. He absolutely comes first, but unofficially, I will also always protect Christian. I will do the same for Aaron, Jillian, and Lissa." I looked at the other Guardians around the table, and each one knew that I would stand between any enemy and all of our guarded Moroi. "Dimitri will grab Christian, and get him to a safe place as soon as Shane and Stefan are in place. Alberta, Eddie, and Dimitri will hold the perimeter in different positions." All five Guardians and Christian stayed quiet, possibly looking for flaws.
I was prepared for their confutations.
"We can make any changes to our plans, or add to them once we can properly see, and map out the area we will be in."
"What do we do about a spirit user?" The problem persisted.
And I had no real answer to my biggest hitch in the plan, so I shrugged. "We will either find a spirit user to bring, or decide on a better path before we board the jet."
The conversation went on much longer, as the Council had demanded our plans be recorded and appropriately delivered. Once finished however, most of us were in agreement about the way things would hopefully work out. Eddie however was not happy about the way I had managed to keep him from fighting, or going anywhere near 'the enemy'. I would hear much on this subject soon enough, but he was on his way back to speak with his Moroi, Jillian Mastrano-Dragomir before we would leave Court.
We all exited the strategy room, and I needed to talk to Jesse and Sophia. I had no clue what I was going to say to him, how I was going to keep him composed, and how I was going to ask him to keep any of this silent. Yuri was all for honesty in this case. Honesty in its most straight-forward way.
"I trust you." My conversation with Yuri was cut off at the quieter voice coming up on my left, fingertips touching to the lower strands of my hair. It was Dimitri. He looked apologetic. "I trust you with Christian."
"I know." I replied.
"I trust you absolutely with his life, as much as I trust myself or Rose."
I stopped walking, twisting to face my half-brother. "I know that you trust me, Dimitri. I also know that you are still skeptical about involving him. You know that he will always be our Moroi. You are his official Guardian, but he is equally as important to me."
"Sometimes I forget how close you two are." Dimitri reflected. "But, if anything God forbid, were to happen to Christian, I would be at fault."
"No, you wouldn't." I revealed. "That was one of the conditions to being allowed to involve Christian. The Council made sure I would take full responsibility. I have taken temporary accountability for Christian's health, life, and well-being."
Dimitri gave that all too familiar sigh. "You shouldn't have done that." He said.
"I did. It's done."
Two hands gripped my waist, keeping me standing in place as Yuri took a single step to his right.
"Hi Chris." I didn't need to turn to know that the hands holding me were Christian's.
"Hi." He said into my hair. "Can we talk?"
"Yes." I agreed, fully aware that I still needed to speak with him alone before we jumped on a plane to Vienna, away from my husband and his girlfriend, the Queen. "But first, I need to speak to Jesse. He needs to know what is going on. He needs to know why I am leaving him here at Court. Go and pack your things. I will meet you at Rose and Dimitri's apartment."
I pulled away, but was kept in place by his arms.
"This can't wait." Christian said, now pulling me away from Yuri and Dimitri.
"Okay." I let my eyes fall to the Guardians, signaling for them to go on without me. "Let's talk now Chris." The two of us walked in the opposite direction, my arm linked to his as we kept our silent bubble as long as possible.
"What's going on Christian?" I had to ask him after ten minutes. "What is so important that it couldn't wait until…"
"What if we didn't have to bring a spirit user to Vienna?" He inelegantly blurted out. "I know that you are trying to keep as much of your operation under wraps. Bringing other Moroi would complicate that."
I sighed, knowing he made a good point, but that I was still stuck. "But Chris, we might need someone with spirit to stake Mason. We need spirit magic."
"What if you don't." He was being annoyingly cryptic, and the look I gave him said that I had no time or appreciation for it. "Why can't you do it?" He questioned me. "Why can't you stake Mason yourself? He would never expect it from you." That just was not true.
"Because I'm not a Moroi, and because I don't have spirit magic."
"Exactly."
"Do I need to leave and come back when you make more sense?" I countered his obviously absurd question.
"I have a theory. Hear me out." He appealed to my reasonable side. "Spirit is the most obscure and improbable magic used by Moroi. But, what is more improbable or impossible than a Moroi with spirit?" He asked as though he expected an answer from me. "A Dhampir with Moroi magic. What you can do is far more implausible. You are literally the only person like you."
He was confusing himself as he tried convincing me that I could somehow maybe use my magic as a conduit to save Mason. He made some good points again, and I had to admit that at least most of us could give explanation to spirit magic at this point. That however did not change the most fundamental parts of this thought. Fire and spirit were different types of magic. Still…
"If you're not willing to take Lissa," a decision that Christian was ever so thankful I'd made early on, "and you don't want to risk the mental stability of Adrian, what are you going to do? What choice have we got Bells?"
"Even if you are right, even if I could counteract spirit through my impossible magical ability, I'm a fire user." I pointed out. "It could backfire. I could kill him. I could kill others. That is not a risk I'm willing to take either. There's got to be a better way."
We left it at that, but neither of us stopped thinking about the partially formed idea. It was something to think about, mostly because it was crazy enough to consider working. I could use Moroi magic, which made me even more impossible than spirit users these days. I would have to carefully bring it up to the others.
On the way back to the Zeklos residence, I quickly had to decide on the best way to tell my Moroi about this mission, and what it would mean for the long term. Honestly, I was not too keen to tell him so much, but with the chaos of things to come looming in the distance, he had to know. Sophie was still awake when I returned, the shades drawn, rocking Ivy back to sleep. Yuri was going to talk to her while I dealt with Jesse, but as I reached the door to his and Sophie's bedroom, I hesitated.
"Jess, "I moved into his room, sitting down beside him on the bed, "I need you to wake up."
He groaned, rolling over to his side away from me. "Bells, it's not even three in the afternoon yet."
"Yuri is talking to Sophie, and I don't have a lot of time sweetie." I could sense his anxiety now and I knew his eyes were open. He was listening. "I have to tell you what is happening right now. First I need you to know why we rushed from one Court to another without warning." I took a deeper breath, preparing to let him in on this reason.
"I have to assume you have some monumental reason that supersedes anything else. Aaron was quite put out by your demand that he and Shane return to Court immediately. They were on vacation in Switzerland." Jesse faced me, lifting up onto his elbow.
I made sure that my expression did not shift at the mention of Switzerland. "My reasons absolutely supersede any and everything." I said, looking down, willing my emotions to stay buried.
Jesse still winced, feeling more than I wanted him to again. "Bellamy, what is going on?"
"Budge over." I told him, laying down next to him as he made room, placing my head to his chest.
"Whoa. The last time you crawled into bed with me, you had bad news."
"Jesse," My voice cracked, "at the Guardian Court, I was shown a security video. It showed a Strigoi in Dublin."
"So?" He seemed to be urging me to get to the bad news quicker.
"We rushed to this Court so that I could show the video to some of the other Guardians here. Actually, we rushed here so that I could show other Guardians who knew Mason Ashford."
Jesse was running his fingers through my hair-an action that usually calmed us both.
"The Strigoi on the video was Mason." I made myself say the words, and Jesse sat up straight with me.
"Mason Ashford is dead. We went to his funeral. He died in Seattle, being reckless and stupid."
I told Jesse everything then. Well, almost everything. I intentionally left Christian out of my plan to go after Mason. If I told him I was bringing Christian with us, Jesse would throw one of his royal tantrums. I had not seen one of those from him in a long time, and I did not have the patience to deal with one now.
"Bells, are you going to kill him, or…"
"I don't know, Jesse." I answered the difficult question honestly. "I really don't know yet."
Jesse was feeling conflicted about what I told him, but he was also feeling protective.
"Okay," He faced me, "I am not usually so overemotional, but I am going to hug you now, Bells."
I lifted my eyebrows, not expecting the gesture from him.
"Don't be so shocked." He said. "This is one of those extraordinary circumstances things. You aren't leaving me here, so that you can run off somewhere nice and happy. You are going to fight Strigoi. You are putting yourself in close and mortal danger." He shook his head, sensing my dismissive demeanor.
"Please do not be so flippant about this Bellamy."
"I'm sorry." I apologized. "I get that this is not an easy situation, but it will be okay. I will come back. I promise."
"No." Jesse scooted closer to me. "Don't promise that until you are on the jet, on your way back here to Court."
"Okay."
He put his arms around me as I returned the gesture. Knowing that Jesse was not always a big hugger, this action and larger show of affection meant a lot to both of us.
"I need you to come back Bellamy." Jesse whispered. "Would you do me a favor?"
"Anything Jess."
He paused, "Would you call me when you arrive in Vienna? Your flight takes off here at ten, so with the time difference you should get to Austria around midnight. Six here."
Jesse was smart, and much to my surprise, he liked math. He always had mathematical answers before I did.
"Yes, I will call." I swore. "Now, go back to sleep." I smoothed strands of his hair away from his eyes. "I've got to go and pack before I finish up a few more last minute things."
"Seriously?" He was unlikely to take my sleep request without difficulty. "You think that I am going to sleep now?"
I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Don't look at me like that. You'll get frown lines." I stood, but Jesse stayed sitting up, bringing his knees up to his chest. "I have to go, but I will find you before I leave." I left the room, and made my way through the still dark residence to meet up with Yuri in the front room, where he was still sitting with a concerned and somewhat distraught Sophia.
Unlike Jesse, Sophia was all for shows of emotion, whether they were extreme or slight. She rushed to me as soon as I entered the room, hugging me as Jesse had done.
"You don't have to go. This Strigoi mission is optional."
I sent Yuri a look of trouble. Had he told her that this mission I'd agreed to was optional? I could see why he might say that, but it bothered me that he had. Did Yuri feel that I had some sort of option in this case?
"It's going to be okay, Soph." I soothed. "I will call you and Jesse, and Yuri as soon we land in Austria, and then as soon as we are on our way back here."
"Jesse asked you to call." She put two and two together after hearing my comment, letting her arms drop. "He must be very worried."
"He is better now." I reassured. "Soph, you don't need to worry about this. I'm not going on my own. There are other Guardians coming along too."
"Those Guardians are not you and Yuri." She argued. "Bellamy, this scares me. What if something terrible happens? What if…"
"I also promised Jesse that I would find him before I leave. I will see you before I leave Court." I changed the subject quickly before she could finish her what if questions. "I promise this is nothing for you to be so worried over."
Once Sophia was less troubled over my impending absence, Yuri and I took our cue to exit, letting all of the Zeklos Moroi sleep soundly.
A short time later, Yuri was walking me to Rose and Dimitri's apartment. I had promised to meet Christian with his Guardian after I finished with Jesse, and he finished packing.
"Guardian Tverskaya." Both Yuri and I turned, unsure of which one of us was being requested. It was Jillian Mastrano- Dragomir, Lissa's half-sister. She was headed straight towards me and Yuri, with the same look of concern I had seen on Jesse and Sophie.
"Hello Princess." Yuri greeted.
I smiled at the young girl. "Jill, you really should be asleep."
"I spoke with Eddie." She said rather clearly, and I knew exactly why she was not asleep. "May I ask a favor?" She directed her question towards me, and there was no way I could refuse as she spoke.
Once our impromptu conversation with Jillian wrapped up, we were again headed in the direction of Rose and Dimitri.
"Are you going to do as she asked?" Yuri inquired about Jill's request.
"Probably." I said. "It would actually make sense. I was already worried about how he might react and respond when faced with the enemy." The 'he' I referred to was Eddie, and I would have to prepare myself for a bad conversation with him.
Yuri simply put an arm around me, doing his best to quiet the situation. After knocking on the apartment door, Yuri left with Stefan Chase, the two men happy and willing to get out of any line of fire when Dimitri and I talked.
"I asked Christian to meet me here." I informed Dimitri as he came to the door after Stefan.
"He called a few minutes ago. He is on his way now." Dimitri let me into his apartment.
"Where is Rose?"
"She is already packed for her trip, but Lissa had a packing emergency that requires the assistance of her Guardian."
"Which likely means that the emergency has nothing to do with packing," I pointed out, "and more to do with the other situation at hand."
"Most likely." He agreed. "Bells, while we have a few minutes alone, can I ask you something?"
I sat down on the couch in his front living room.
"Bells, this sighting of Mason, do you think this is really the first? It has been years. It is one thing to keep a low profile, but do you think the Guardian Council could've or would've kept any other sightings from you? It would not be the first time they have…"
"Do I think they have spotted him before this, and purposely not said anything to me or anyone else? No." I answered him. "They would not have kept this from me if they knew." I was resolute in my answer to him. "They would not be smart to keep something this important from me. Not after Brooklyn."
"Are you sure? They have…"
The knock on the door brought our conversation to a halt.
"Bells?" Christian's voice called, entering into the room.
"Christian." I called out his name as he rounded a corner, dropping one of his packed bags. "Are you properly packed?"
"The rest of my things are on the way to the jet." He took my hand with his, attempting to lead me back out of the apartment.
"We do not have much time left to prepare." Dimitri informed us.
"I need to talk to him alone for a few minutes." I let go of Christian, telling Dimitri in a quieter tone. "I need to know that he is doing all of this for the right reasons. I need to know that he is not doing this for me."
"Of course he is doing this for you, Bellamy." Dimitri pointed out an obvious truth. "We all are. I mean, we all want to help bring Mason Ashford back, but the truth is," his index finger brushed away a stray eyelash, "there are those of us who will rally without hesitation or question for you."
"Yes, well," I hesitated myself for a moment, "I also want to know that he is okay after regaining all of those compelled memories."
This Dimitri understood, and seconds later, I was pulled out the door, my hand linked with Christian, the two of us walking aimlessly through different areas of Court.
Walking through one of the royal gardens with Christian, I had not realized how quiet, or even how long I'd stayed quiet until Christian brought the silence up.
"Sorry Chris." I apologized.
"I would say that you must have something important on your mind if you're so quiet," my friend turned, "but you had a lot on your mind even before we started to recover memories of St. Vladimir's."
"How do you feel about all of that Christian?" I found myself asking him.
"Bells," He tried to cut me off, but I wasn't finished. I wanted specific answers from him. I did not want him to mollify my feelings like Dimitri and Jesse sometimes managed to do. "I know it is so much to process in a short amount of time, and I shouldn't expect you to have processed it all yet. That is why I am giving you an out on this mission. What we went through is a lot to deal with, and I am not going to push more onto your shoulders. It is not your job to do this sort of stuff in the first place. I've always taught you that, and…"
"Bells," He stopped me from starting to ramble, "do you remember a few years ago when you said that there was still a small part of you that would never fall out of love with me?"
I shot an uncertain look back to him, undecided about which direction he was taking this conversation.
"Well, when all of these memories started returning, gaps started filling in, and I recovered that same part within me. I had forgotten how deeply I had once loved you. I always knew I loved you, but now I know how much I really cared."
"Again Chris, I am sorry." I felt the need to apologize again. "If I had known then…"
"Don't apologize Bells." His hand touched mine. "It was my choice, remember? I have always loved you. That did not change because of a compulsion. But, forgetting all of the bad shit made it possible for us to move on. I was able to love Lissa, and you were able to love Yuri. You are happy."
"Where exactly are you going with this conversation?"
He gave a short laugh. "It's just that the last time I could recall these deep rooted feelings for you, there was no Lissa. There was no Yuri. There was just you and me."
"There will always be you and me Christian." I reassured my best-friend. "That never changes. You and I have learned over the years to become better friends with our bond, rather than two people in love, in a complicated relationship. I know that Lissa is worried." I made sure to let him know that I was not oblivious to his girlfriend's reservations. "She isn't just worried about your safety. She is also worried about you and I being so close while we are in Vienna. She and Yuri aren't there to keep an eye on us."
"So, is Yuri as worried about this dangerous adventure as Lissa?"
"Mm-hmm." I hummed, my thoughts all still jumbled and chaotic. "More so I think." I squeezed Christian's hand with mine. "In his case though, he is less worried about you and me, and more worried about me and Mason. I get the feeling he thinks that in my haze of anger, I'll shoot first and think later. Every once in a while he sees my emotions overriding my training and duty. He sees that once impulsive novice he trained, running head first into danger."
I half-laughed, thinking about the person I used to be.
"Are you going to kill Mason?"
"Christian!" I heard my voice full of shock, but realized that he was not the first person to ask me this question. Was I really so unpredictable?
"Are you?" He wanted an answer.
"Not if I can avoid it. The truth is, I want as many answers as everyone else." I turned a corner, pulling Christian along with me. "Let's go get Shane. I told him I would stop by the Drozdov homestead and pick him up."
Christian and I picked up a golf cart, taking the drive to where Aaron and Shane stayed while at Court. Our approach to the front doors was halted as a large Guardian stood under the frame, blocking our entrance.
"Guardian Pearce." The Guardian's stoic façade didn't fool me.
"Dom." I used a less formal and shortened version of Guardian Dominic Hartley's name.
We both smiled slowly as the façade of formality disappeared. Suddenly the big Guardian's arms were around my waist, picking me up into a friendly hug.
"How the hell are you, Bells?"
"I have missed you, Dom."
"Life at Court is a bore. You should convince your Moroi to move here."
"Not happening." I refused. "Is Shane still around?"
"Packing." Dominic and I separated, my eyes landing on Aaron, standing inside behind Dom.
"I am sorry that I have to take him with me."
"Are you?" I guessed that Shane had said more than was necessary, and Aaron was clearly not happy with Shane and I were walking into this dangerous situation either.
I moved inside, closer to the vexed Moroi, hoping that neither Chris nor Dom would take notice of the hesitation or the closeness Aaron and I still drew from each other after our time together in Switzerland. If I told Aaron more about what we were about to do, and why, he would understand. But, it was not my place to say.
"I don't want this mission on my hands. I'm more sorry than you know." I replied quieter. "I don't want to go. I don't want Shane to go.
"Can I ask why you are stealing my Guardian to pick up Strigoi? Why can't another Guardian go?"
"No. You cannot ask me why. You promised you wouldn't." I put my fingers to his wrist, forcing him to not only look me straight in the eyes, but to also find a calm place. "And I am not stealing Shane. I'm borrowing him. That means I will bring him back to you."
"Can I ask another question?"
"Sure." I granted, knowing there were things I couldn't say yet.
"When you and Shane say that you can't say where you are going, or why, do you really mean to say that you won't say?"
I couldn't disguise my smirk. Aaron was often as smart as Jesse, and as infuriating as it could be, their intelligence also meant that they knew when not to push some secrets kept by their Guardians.
"Can't…won't… Does it really make much difference in the end, Aaron?"
He shot me a look that I recognized without question. I'd seen it for the first time in St. Moritz, and a few subtly placed times since. "I'm sorry Aaron." I rested my hand gently to his face. "This is something that for the time being, needs to stay between a small group of Guardians."
He gave a nod. "You and Shane don't keep many secrets from me, Jess, or Sophie, so when you do we assume it is for our safety." His fingers then touched to mine. "I just want to say one more thing before you go."
"Anything."
"Be careful." His eyes were full of concern. "Don't do anything that will take you away from all of us."
I wanted to reassure him. I wanted to say that everything would be fine, and that we would all be back on Court soil before he knew it. Instead, I kept silent for a minute, my eyes glued to his. I could not pacify Aaron like I could Jesse or Christian.
"Okay." I agreed, rather than asking him not to worry. "No needless heroics."
"No needless heroics, no acts of martyrdom, no unnecessary feats of recklessness." Shane spoke up, entering the foyer, a bag packed and pulled over his shoulder.
"I see he gave you the same spiel."
"And I intend on heeding his advice this time."
I watched as the two said their very brotherly farewell for the next …undetermined amount of time. But, I was back in conversation with Dom and Christian when Aaron's arms wrapped around my mid-section, pulling me off to the side, his voice low, his gaze more mitigated.
"Be careful Bellamy. Whatever reason you've chosen to do this, I need you to be careful. Think before you act."
"I promise." I tried to stop him as he leaned down, kissing my cheek.
At nine-thirty, Guardians were already gathered in the hangar for this long flight to Austria. It was silent as Shane, Christian, and I arrived. Christian kept walking through the hangar to a group of more official looking Guardians. As they parted, I saw why he had not stopped. Lissa's flight was taking off before ours. He stood with her, reassuring and kissing her. I had not noticed that Rose and Dimitri were not far to Lissa and Christian's left side until Rose beckoned me over to speak with her as well. Reluctantly I stepped away from Yuri, Jesse, and Sophia for a brief time.
I was all too aware that this would be a conversation that should've come sooner. Her eyes were full of sympathy as I approached, and I did not like others looking at me with sympathy and pity.
"I want to say thank you before you leave."
Now I was confused. "Why should you need to thank me?"
"I…" Her voice was a strange blending of fear, guilt, and sadness. "I don't think that I could do what you are doing. I don't think I could face him like this. I don't know if I can forgive him."
My eyes wandered shortly to where Dimitri stood, feet away, allowing me and Rose to talk quietly. I smiled, knowing that he was still here with me, and part of my world, because of his own wife. If Rose had not been brave enough to go after him, he would still be lost to me and others.
I turned back to Rose. "Saving him, bringing Mason back as a Dhampir, doesn't mean that I forgive him." I clarified first. "It means that I will do what I have to do. But, you and I are more alike than we think, because of this situation." I gave a weak laugh. "I never could've faced Dimitri the way that you did when he was Strigoi. I never could've put that stake through his heart. It would've killed parts of my soul."
Rose laughed a little then too. "I'd like to think that I know how hard this must be for you, but I was not in love with Mason the way that you were."
"I think that if anyone comes remotely close to understanding how I feel, it is you. You may not have been in love with him, but…"
"Thank you." She interrupted.
Rose and I had a particularly productive habit of interrupting each other when we talked. It was as though we could speak in code. She and I could have full conversations this way.
"Does it change things?" She asked me the real question she had been waiting to ask.
"What?"
"Not being in love with him anymore. I was still in love with Dimitri before, during, and after. But you…"
"It is probably the biggest difference, but it changes nothing, morally speaking. It might be different or more difficult down the line, if and when Mason is Dhampir again, but not in any way that alters my life or my beliefs." My head turned to the side, watching Yuri as he spoke to Jesse and a Court Guardian. "I like to think that I've made peace with Mason and our past. He may not have died as we all assumed, but we broke up years ago. I have a husband who adores me, and I wouldn't be the person I am without him. I enjoy my life."
"Which is still hard to believe considering you are Jesse's Guardian."
We both laughed then, closing our conversation about Mason as Lissa sauntered across the way to us.
"Don't let him get into your head." She reminded me. "It's not him. And don't let him get ahold of you. While you are trying to subdue him, he'll be on the offensive. He will try to subdue you too. "
"I am not afraid of Mason Ashford. When I look into the eyes of my killer one day, they won't be his."
"Good luck in Austria." Rose quietly wished, taking only a few steps back to stand beside Dimitri while I faced the Queen once again.
"You will keep him safe, won't you?" The concern of the Queen was still in no way a surprise to me. "Please keep Christian safe. I honestly don't know what I would do if anything happened to him." Her comment suddenly sounded half concerned, half threatening.
"Nothing and no one will touch Christian Ozera. Lissa, I would give my own life before I ever let that happen."
"Let us hope it does not come to that either." Her hand rested to my arm, the same look of sympathy Rose had shown, now present in Lissa's eyes.
Both Rose and Lissa then boarded their royal jet, followed by a handful of Court Guardians joining them. I was happy to have a little more time with Yuri, Jesse , and Sophie.