PART 4: VIENNA

I was in hell. Literal hell. My entire sense of concentration was gone. We'd been in the air for hours now, and the jet was too bloody silent and small. Eddie was keeping his distance, either angry, disappointed, or both with me after what I had done to him before take-off. Shane was doing his best to ease the conflict between us, but to no avail. Christian had tried sitting next to me, tried starting a conversation, but I was in no mood to find the simplicity of the situation ahead of us. I kept quiet for the most part too. And Dimitri was always quiet, and in his own thoughts before any battle. He was at the back of the jet, headphones in, his expression hardened and focused. He was so focused that I hesitated to move to sit beside him, ultimately deciding that I had no choice though. He only took notice of me when I put my hand to his forearm, taking his headphones from his ears.

"Hey Bells." He moved his arm from under my hand to my shoulders.

I rested my head against him. This was not easy on any of us, and I was about to make things harder and more uncomfortable.

"Dimitri, I need to ask you something. I need to pry into your personal life for a few minutes."

"What else is new?" He returned facetiously, allowing me to ask the questions I needed to.

"I need to ask you questions about when you were Strigoi."

"Bells." He removed his arm, shifting uncomfortably.

"I know." I disliked having to push him to relive the memories of that time in his life. "It's not the easiest subject for you to talk about. It isn't easy for me either. I hate to think of you like that. But you may be able to give me firsthand insight into more answers about Mason before we have to face this version of him.

"Okay." I could hear the difficulty in Dimitri's agreement. "What do you need to know?

"First, I need to know how you stayed off of the grid, especially in populated areas. How did you manage to stay off of the Guardian Court's radar?"

"Strigoi have their own technology and resources."

"Nothing as advanced as Guardians."

Dimitri gave a troubled look. "You're asking, how did I stay hidden without the help of someone like Bridgette?"

"Did you have help?" I had more questions. "Were there areas that you and others purposely avoided?

"A little of both."

I sat back, crossing my arms against my chest, considering the answers I was given. "The fact that Mason has kept himself off of our grids for so long means that he has become much more skilled at evasion."

"Which ultimately leads us to more questions." Dimitri commented, and I knew that he was trying to keep me talking, keeping my mind from my others troubles with Eddie and Christian.

But Dimitri did bring up a solid point. Suddenly, we had more questions than answers again.

"You didn't go home to Baia when you were Strigoi. Was that an intentional choice?"

I didn't have to look over to my brother to know that my question had confused him.

"Is Vienna significant to Mason in some way that you aren't saying?" He changed the subject, turning it around to me now.

"Yes." I told him, feeling my chest tighten with guilt and grief all over again. "Vienna is as significant as Dublin."

"Start with Dublin." I was instructed. "What aren't you telling me? What aren't you telling us?

I half smiled. "Dublin is easy. It's where I went to school before St. Vladimir's. It's where I grew up, had a life before Mason, and It's where Jesse and I disappeared to until his graduation. It isn't impossible to imagine me or Jesse wanting to stay invisible for as long as possible, especially considering the trouble we caused or took blame for in Montana."

"And Vienna? What is so important about Vienna?"

I was saved, stopped from answering Dimitri's question while Shane sat down across from us.

"What if he wants to be seen by Guardians now? What if he has come out of the shadows so to speak, for a reason?"

We had to consider Shane's inquiry seriously.

"What kind of reason?"

"He was in Dublin before Vienna." Dimitri was in deep thought again. "St. Sebastian's is in Dublin."

"Just on the outskirts." I confirmed.

"But you and Jesse haven't been in Dublin for years now."

"But the assumption could be that we would've decided to stay in Ireland?" I had to question Shane and Dimitri's hypotheses. "Son of a bitch!" I shot up from my seat, practically sprinting down the aisle, passing both Eddie and Christian, both brooding and still upset with me.

I picked up one of the phones near the front of the jet, dialing a memorized number.

"Dane?" I spoke when he picked up his cell phone.

"Hey Bells." He had finally stopped calling me Barbie. "Mom and dad said you left Court without Jesse. Where are you? What's going on? Why would you leave Jess…"

"Nothing I can discuss." I was not about to divulge anything to him. "I need you to answer an important question for me." He waited before I summoned the courage to ask and hear the answer. "When you were on vacation in Dublin a few years back, when you were hurt by that Strigoi, do you recall what the Strigoi looked like?"

"You're just asking now?"

"Dane." I used a warning tone, and he apologized. "Male or female?"

"Male."

"Good. Do you remember hair color?"

"Ginger with a bit of brown mixed in."

"One more question. Did he look like he had been Dhampir or Moroi before he was Strigoi?"

"What kind of question is that Bellamy?"

"A valid one if you can recall the details. Please think back."

"Dhampir, I guess." Dane hummed softly as he tried to remember details from a terrifying experience. "If you need details, his upper body was broader than a Moroi."

"Dane, thank you." I stopped him from providing in depth details, fearing it might send him spiraling into more fear.

"When are you coming back?"

I exhaled slowly, keeping my voice low. "Soon sweetheart. I will be back soon."

I listened for a few short seconds as Dane breathed into his phone, not fully accepting my response.

"Dane, I have to…"

"Bellamy, whatever you are doing, whatever it is you won't discuss with Jesse and Sophie, be careful. Don't do anything stupid."

"I promise Dane." I hung up the phone, staying put with my back to others, gathering my thoughts as I stared down at my shoes. I needed to recover any composure and semblance of a poker face I could manage before I returned to my seat.

"What was that about?" Shane asked as soon as I was back beside Dimitri.

I didn't answer right away, mostly because I could not be sure of my hunch yet. But as I started to put more pieces together, little things that had not made sense to me before, and things that I had not considered before now, started to come together. And they were all starting to pique my animosity and my pragmatism.

"Bellamy." Dimitri touched my hair with his fingertips, gaining my attention again.

"Dane Zeklos and his friends were surprised by a Strigoi in Dublin shortly before my wedding. The Strigoi that hurt Dane was male, likely a former Dhampir, and had red hair." I mentioned to the men with me.

Shane caught on pretty quick. "You think it was Mason?"

"I don't think it is out of the realm of possibilities." I leaned back, furious at the idea that Mason, even a Strigoi version of him, would go after a member of my family.

And while I thought on the matter, growing more and more agitated, I was thrown another challenge. Eddie was standing over Shane, the two quietly talking while Eddie glared every few seconds at me, mild contempt written in his eyes. This petulance of his would not do. I stood back up, indicating for my friend to follow me.

"We need to talk."

"If our talk has anything to do with your reasons for keeping me from fighting, we don't need to talk."

"It's not about that." I said. "We need to talk."

"Fine." My friend followed me to the back room of the plane, used mostly for injured persons. I entered after Eddie, locking the door behind me, blocking it as I turned.

"I lied." I said, watching him grow more irritated..

"Let me back out of here."

"No."

"Bellamy, move."

I continued to block his only exit. "You'll have to physically move me."

I saw his eyes briefly contemplate his best decision, wisely choosing not to touch me.

"What is going on with you?" His tone was angry. Resentful. "Why are you acting like such a…"

"Say it." I dared him. "Finish that sentence. I'm acting like a controlling bitch. You're damn right I am. And you need to hear why. You need to hear what I have to say."

"I've heard what you have to say. I am not as detached from the "target" as you and Shane. You're afraid I'll hesitate. You don't trust me."

"Of course I trust you." I let my guard down. "Ed, I haven't told you everything about why I made this decision. Please stay and listen."

Eddie suddenly looked less confrontational. "I'm listening."

"I spoke to Jillian before we boarded the jet. She came to me." I informed him. "She stopped me and Yuri. If you had seen or heard the fear in her, you would understand. You are more than just her Guardian. You made the decision to tell her where you are going and why. She is afraid of losing you, and she is not the only one." I swallowed hard. "I've lost you before Eddie. If I lose you in a fight, no matter who it is with, I won't get you back. If I lost you in this fight, it would ruin me. I'm not saying that I would not put you in a fight. You are a great fighter. This was not an easy decision for me. I knew it would cause conflict."

"But you still think that I can't separate myself in this situation."

"It's bad enough that Mason has an arsenal of information to use against me, and he will. When face to face, he will attack me in any and every way that can potentially hurt me. I will not let him use you against me, and I won't let him confuse you too."

Eddie was still somewhat defiant when Dimitri knocked on the locked door, but he was now listening.

"The pilot says we are starting our descent. Come on out."

"Are we done?" Eddie questioned. "Are you going to let me out?"

I unlocked the door, moving to the side. This time, Eddie sat across from Christian, still brooding, and looking as though I had offended him in some way, but at least I had been honest and given him my justified reasons for keeping him away from Mason. A short time later, our plane touched down on the Austrian runway. We were still a short distance outside of Vienna, but that much closer to our Strigoi target.

"Our base is a fifteen minute drive from here." Stef informed me, disembarking, loading bags into the waiting SUV's waiting for our use.

We would be staying at a former Monestary, hidden on the southern border of the city limits, but impossible for Strigoi to breach. It was still considered hallowed ground, so keeping Christian inside would keep him safe. Our plan was to get settled into our borrowed rooms, and meet up to map out our plan of attack at sunrise. Eddie and Christian were still not on full speaking terms with me, so I rode to our destination with Shane and Dimitri. Once arrived to Heiligenkreuz Abbey, it was decided that Christian and I would share a room. I shrugged indifferently, noticing Christian did not seem to mind either. Dimitri and Eddie were paired together, as were Stef and Shane. Alberta was the only one to find a single room. We were less than thirty minutes from the Vienna city limits, tucked away in a small but noticeable part of the Vienna woods. And the best part about staying at the Abbey, was its rule of silence, designed to be strictly obeyed within its walls. This meant I didn't have to hear Christian and Eddie bitch about whatever decisions I made. I could concentrate on this mission, and everything that would come with it, in silence.

"Alright Bells." Christian closed the door of our monastic room, the tenor of his voice changing, "you need to talk to me."

"Shh." I silenced. "There is a rule of silence here." I reminded him with a whisper, placing my bag to the foot of the bed I chose near the window. "Unpack and rest. We have work to do later."

"Tell me what is going on." Christian continued.

"What do you mean?"

"Bellamy," He sat at the edge of his bed, using the same warning tone Dimitri used when I pushed him too far, or when I wasn't listening. No doubt Christian had heard the tone enough from his Guardian too, "you haven't said a word to me since we left Court."

"That's not true." I attempted to justify my short monosyllables or hummed responses on the plane ride. And I intentionally had not spoken to him in the last several hours, believing he was cross with me.

The look he sent across the room spoke many volumes. "It has been exactly four hours since you said a single word to me. It's been radio silence between us for nearly half of that plane ride. What gives?"

On instinct, I moved to his side of the room, sitting close to him. His arms held me closer in place, and I felt warmth return to us.

"Tell me what is going on with you Bells. You are never distant from me, even in the worst of situations."

"I'm scared Chris." I could see the nihilism in his eyes. "I'm afraid to walk out there. I'm afraid of seeing him again. I'm in an argument with Eddie because I don't think he can disconnect from one end of the spectrum to the other, but it's me who is afraid to face either version of Mason Ashford. I'm…scared. I'm properly scared."

"Nope." Christian wasn't buying it. "There's more to it than that." Shifting me from beside him, he stood, crossing to the opposite end of the room. "There is something you're not telling me."

"Chris."

"No way. You are not afraid of Strigoi. You're Bellamy Pearce. You are the wife of Yuri Tverskaya, the niece of Bridgette Pearce, the half-sister of Dimitri Belikov, and you are the badass protector of Jesse Zeklos, a Moroi who now sings your praises. Who would've expected that?" He made me smile. "You aren't afraid of anything."

"I'm afraid of this."

"Why?" He truly wanted to know, because until he did he could not believe my fear was real, or even a consideration.

"I've lost too many people in my life already. I lost Mason, or thought I had, and then Dimitri, I lost Bridgette, and I have come too close to losing you, Yuri, and Eddie on multiple occasions. Back at St. Vladimir's, I could defeat Mason one on one without trying most days. He is Strigoi now. He is stronger, faster, very irrational, and more unpredictable. He is dangerous to us all. He won't hold back, and I'm afraid that if I don't fight, someone I love will be killed. But if I do fight him, I might actually kill him. How do I reconcile either side of that challenge?"

I felt my hands starting to shake as Christian held them, his sympathy for my situation on higher alert.

"You don't. You can't reconcile those arguments, Bells. Come here." He kept hold of my hands, leading me to my bed. He laid down on his side, letting me curl up next to him. It had been so long since he and I had been this close, and it still felt natural to both of us. Sleep came to me for a few hours, until my phone rang just before dawn. Dimitri was as ready as I was to start formulating a more solid plan. I let Christian stay asleep, hoping he would sleep most of the day. I met Dimitri and Stef outside of the Abbey walls where we could talk openly but privately.

"This whole vow of silence thing is mind-numbing. Who chose this place as a base of operations?" Stef was already complaining.

"The Queen." I pointed out. "She thought it might be good idea for us to settle in a place of peace, to gain better perspective, considering the job ahead of us."

"I agree with her." Dimitri spoke in a still softer tone.

"While we have these hours of daylight, we need to go over this plan." Shane and Eddie arrived ten minutes later. "Do we have the maps of the city?

I handed over a stack of our maps to the two men who went straight to work.

"We do have another very challenging obstacle." Alberta also joined us. "Did anyone happen to see the posters and flyers along our drive here?"

"The Opera Ball." I had seen the posters littered along our drive, thinking about how disappointed Jesse would be, knowing that he could not be here for that experience. "Tonight is the start of the Vienna Opera Ball. It is the premiere Ball of the season, it takes up a lot of space in the city center, and there are other performances throughout other areas."

"How much space does an Opera actually take up?

"This one takes up blocks. Whole buildings. And, the main area that everyone gathers into is also exactly where we need to be to draw out Mason sometime in the next few nights.

"The Palace." Dimitri confirmed, both of our brains going into strategic overdrive.

"Our main plan hinges on not drawing attention to ourselves, and not frightening the Viennese people and tourists who may be out."

"Can we get around the event?" Shane asked. "If we don't get out there tonight to get a feel for the area…"

"If we don't get out there tonight, we won't be seen." I explained. "I need Mason to know me and Christian are here. Maybe we can use the Ball to our advantage. Strigoi won't stay away from an opportunity this easy. They are less likely to attack in a crowd such as this, but they will still hunt."

"They will follow their prey throughout the night." Dimitri followed up on my thought, bringing his own detailed knowledge to us.

"We just need to make sure that Chris and I are that prey."

We followed up all of our thoughts and ideas with a short trip to the city center, mapping out the streets, alleyways, and buildings we could use to our advantage.

"It goes without saying that we do not break anything here, especially the buildings." Dimitri made another point to say.

"Especially Hofburg Palace." I added. "It's nearly as old and revered as Moroi Court. It is the seat of power in this country. We do not need to piss off the Austrian Government."

After many hours of talking, mapping, and planning, our first plan was set, our minds and bodies being prepared. Christian was still asleep when I returned to our small intimate room, so I chose to take a walk through the Abbey. Everything and everyone remained perfectly silent within the walls. No tourists were present at the Abbey during this time of year, so I was grateful for that as well. If I were not looking to face Mason, and either kill him or bring him back, this was the sort of place that would put my mind at ease. It was a place to reassess choices and priorities, as well as relieve stress, or seek contemplation. For the next week, I found different places around the monastery to sit in silence, attempting to make a very difficult decision. The Guardian Council had insisted I keep a running record of what occurred on this mission, so I sat, journaling things we had or had not seen, things said, the important changes to our plans or ideas, and my own thoughts on this mission.

NIGHT 1: NOTHING. SUBJECT REMAINS UNSEEN.

NIGHT 2: STILL NOTHING. BOREDOM SETTING IN ALREADY. THE SILENCE IS WEIGHING HARD ON ALL NERVES.

NIGHT 3: ONE STRIGOI CONFRONTATION NEAR CITY'S CENTER. FEMALE STRIGOI. OUR ATTEMPT TO SUBDUE HER WENT SIDEWAYS AS SOON AS SUBJECT GOT CLOSE TO GUARDIAN REYES, GOING FOR HIS THROAT. STRIGOI WAS ELIMINATED.

NIGHT 4 AND 5: ALL'S QUIET ON THE "HOMEFRONT". FRUSTRATION AND BITTER JUDGEMENT INCREASING THE LONGER WE ARE HERE, LOOKING FOR A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK. THINKING THE SUBJECT MAY HAVE MOVED ON, BUT ASKING EDDIE (GUARDIAN CASTILE) TO HELP WITH THE COMPUTER SEARCH SEEMS UNLIKELY RIGHT NOW. OUR BOREDOM IS CAUSING SMALL PETTY DISAGREEMENTS (AND CHALLENGING MOMENTS) AMONG GUARDIANS (AND MOROI).

As I sat filling out a notebook full of paperwork and thoughts for each Council member(because there was little else to do besides train and plan during the day while others slept), a familiar shadow approached, blocking out any sun I felt overhead.

"Can I ask a favor?"

I wanted to laugh, or at the very least, scoff at his request.

"Ask anything. After all these years Dimitri, you shouldn't need to ask. What sort of favor would you like?"

"One of kindness." My half-brother sat across from me. "I am asking you to look beyond…everything you are wrestling with, emotionally. I am asking you to show the compassion I have always seen in you."

I recognized the pause in his words, understanding immediately what he was asking for, and why he was asking. "You don't want compassion. You want clemency." I reworded his diplomatically spoken words. "You want me to show mercy to Mason."

"Yes."

"Because you are all so certain that I won't. You think you're the first to question me?" I had trouble holding back my arguments, tired of my motives being suspect. "You are all so sure that I will act before thinking; that I'll fall back into that pattern of recklessness you once saw in the novice I once was, because it is him I'm facing."

"No. I'm not sure what to think, Bells." Dimitri argued back. "For the first time in a long time, I don't know what you are thinking. None of us does."

"This might be hard for you to believe Dimitri, but I still have a heart when it comes to Mason. This is not easy for me to think about. It's difficult for me to resolve any choice I make. I won't kill him unless I have to."

"Unless you have to?"

The inquiry was putting me further on edge.

"I don't understand why you should all of a sudden think that I might give up on the laws and lessons I choose to follow as a Guardian. The idea that I could kill without considering the consequences…"

"But you could kill him," It was Eddie's voice cutting through my words now, rounding a nearby corner, adding to this current debate of conscience, "couldn't you?" He was more accusatory than inquiring, and I had to be upfront with my own thoughts.

"If it came down to him or me, I will protect the people in my life who need it. I'd give my life for the people I care for, but I will take out the threat in the process."

"The people you care for." Eddie grew contemplative. "Is this about Christian still? We are back to that stupid love triangle all over again. You are not Christian's Guardian." He made sure to remind me.

But his last sentence only fueled my own frustrations. After all these years, my best friend still did not get it.

"Yes Eddie, this is about Christian. It's also about you, and Yuri, and Shane, and Dimitri. Most of all, it is about Jesse."

"Jesse is back at Court. He's thousands of miles from here. Admit it Bellamy, this is about you and Christian versus you and Mason all over again. You can't make up your mind. You may have been in love with him, but you've also always had feelings for Christian." Eddie finally confronted me about this subject. It had taken him years to say anything because there was never a need to, but with Mason no longer dead in the way we'd thought, pent up frustrations and ideas were resurfacing.

"So what if I have?" I shot back at him. "Yes, I was very much in love with Mason. But, I also fell in love with Chris. That was a long time ago, and now the truth has changed. The truth is, Mason lied to me. He lied to all of us, and it puts my mind at ease. It is what will help me concentrate and face him. I can't focus on the past version of him."

"And you won't put me into this fight because it is your personal and professional opinion that I might not keep my concentration. You think I will drop the ball."

"Exactly!" I swore louder than normal, lowering my voice as soon as Dimitri tried stepping in between us. "Jesus Eddie, if you or I , or any of us hesitates for even a second because we are not able to see and separate Mason from this thing he chose to become, then all of this planning, all of this work, and the entire fight goes to hell. This is not your first Strigoi. You know how this works. If you hesitate, he gets by you. And if he gets by you, we lose. He gets to others like Christian and Jesse, and Jill."

"Leave Jill out of this. Jill isn't here either. She and Jesse are not here." I had clearly hit the right nerve.

"But that only adds to my point Ed." I used my most calming pacifying tone. "I am Jesse's first line of defense in a situation like this. Even if he is not with me, he is at the forefront of my mind always. I fight for him. You fight for Jill. No matter how far apart we may temporarily be, no matter what the threat is, we protect them."

"Well argued Bells." Dimitri finally spoke up again. "When it comes to someone we know and love, fighting, the actual fight itself becomes that much more difficult." He defended. "After listening to her reasons, her strategies, and mindset, I must agree with Bellamy. If I found out that Bridgette or Ivan were Strigoi, I would willingly remove myself from the fight. The Council has not given Bellamy that option."

"Conflict of interest." Eddie agreed. "I get it. But why is it a conflict of interest for me and not her?"

"Because," Shane and Stef both rounded the corner, "she was in love with him." Clearly both were also unable to sleep. "She would've jumped in between Mason and that Strigoi in Seattle if she'd been there. She would've risked her life for his. And, she is doing the same thing for Jesse, Christian, and others now. She is making the difficult choice we are all faced with at some point as Guardians."

I felt my cheeks redden from tears falling again as Shane spoke, clearing up any debate, and explaining everything I couldn't with clarity and definition.