PART 8:

I apologize for the lack of an update. I'm in the process of moving, and it's hard to sit and get all of this on to my computer while packing boxes. The next chapter is all about Switzerland. I'm writing it up now, so hopefully, it will be up soon too. Happy Reading! Enjoy.

Everything I knew was changed. Everyone I knew had changed. I could feel the changes in me occurring, leveling out over the last several days. It had taken a few weeks, but Dimitri mentioned that because I had been Strigoi for a longer amount of time, "coming down" as he called it, was taking its time. As the resentment and animosity faded, I was seeing much more clearly. My eyes were open again. Guilt. Guilt and regret were highest on the list of things I was feeling. Each repercussion of each action or decision made was returning to me rapidly.

It was Dimitri's turn to talk with me today. I didn't mind sitting with him, because he held less judgment. He'd been in my position too. When he offered a day out of my apartment, away from Court housing, I accepted. We spent the morning still flanked by two more armed Guardians, but Dimitri suggested a place that would be quieter on Court grounds, away from the eyes and ears of Court gossip. The soccer pitch was quieter, but not altogether empty. Bellamy, Jesse Zeklos, and Yuri Tverskaya were all on the field, kicking a ball around and having fun together. It was still a strange sight to see Bellamy and Jesse laughing, enjoying time together.

"She is so different." I commented, seeking some tactful way of bringing up all of the shifting emotions in me.

"Of course she is." Dimitri said, and I blew off the unintended sarcasm I could hear in his tone.

"She is happy. She never looked as happy as she does now. When we were together…"

"You were both young." He said. "You were inexperienced at life outside of the Academy." We sat in the stands, looking down at the field. "Bellamy has grown as a person. She has grown as a Guardian."

"She's still as stubborn as always." I half-joked.

"Some things never change." Dimitri and I laughed, even gaining a chuckle from the Guardians at our backs.

"I spoke to Bellamy last week, and I don't think I'll get to talk to her again until my trial." I brought up my upcoming trial with both Councils, letting Dimitri know that I too was ready for resolution.

"Even if you two aren't meeting until your trial, she is aware of the ongoing meetings you will have."

"Good." I wasn't hiding much anymore, allowing Guardians to know where I'd been. I had not yet given detailed specifics of why I had done what I'd done, but I also had not been asked for specific details.

"The last time we spoke, she said that if I want to ask more questions about when or why she changed, I should talk to Eddie or Aaron Drozdov. What do you think?" I asked the Guardian beside me as he too watched Bellamy and her Moroi.

"In my opinion," Dimitri was fully concentrated on the soccer field, "I would say your best bet is Aaron Drozdov." He too was aware of the strict rule that I was not to approach Eddie Castile yet. "If Bellamy says that he has answers to your inquiries, I would ask him."

I saw the look in his eyes shift as he turned to face me again. Despite answering my question, he had his own. Dimitri was visibly shaken by the notion that there was something others knew about Bellamy, that he did not. Hell, I was thrown by the same thought. Considering how close Bellamy had been with Dimitri at St. Vladimir's, I wondered what a royal, one who did not run in the same circles as my Dhampir ex-girlfriend, might know about her.

"As a precaution," Dimitri went on with hesitation, "I would respectfully consult Guardian Reyes about talking to his Moroi."

"Let me ask you a question," I was hoping for an honest straightforward answer from him, "Would you let me sit down with Christian if I asked?"

"I would." Dimitri was as forthcoming as I might expect. "But I may feel different than Shane. "You two have more history than you and I."

He made a good point, and for the next forty-five minutes made many more good points. I was going to have to nicely make my request to Shane about his Moroi. We talked for as long as we could, and it was nice to have someone better understand the changes, and why I wanted to better understand those around me. I was risking a lot for a small amount of insight and knowledge.

BELLAMY

"Sometimes I forget who you really are." His words were softer, but in truth still meant to be some sort of cutting remark, taunting me into this antagonistic banter.

"Who am I?" I was unwilling to let myself fall into the same pattern of antagonism.

"You mean besides the niece of the most celebrated, influential, and valued Guardian to grace the ranks? It appears that you have not surprisingly taken up that very position."

"You don't know what you are talking about." I did not like him bringing up Bridgette, or what she meant to /guardians, especially those who knew her.

"I always knew you'd be an extraordinary Guardian."

I laughed quietly. Truly he had no real clue as to what really happened in the time between my being a novice and becoming a Guardian. "You spend a day here and there with other Guardians and you think you know who I am now?"

"You are changed. I'll give you that." Mason was willing to concede.

"You're talking to the wrong people." I provided him a clue. If he wanted to know what I'd done and why, he could talk to others if they were willing to talk. "You want to know the real story, what happened after you died, maybe start talking to the right people, and ask the right questions.

"The right people?" He was still questioning. "The way I hear it, you are the go-to Guardian when you're here at royal Court."

I was shaking my head with amusement by the time he finished his assumptions, standing, preparing to leave his apartment. Our time was finished, and now that both Councils were present and accounted for on Court grounds, the trial would begin soon. My job was done.

"Who does know? Dimitri?" Mason inquired, still on the wrong path. "Jesse?"

"Nope. Aaron knows." I suggested, half realizing what I was doing.

"Drozdov?"

"The one and only."

"What about Ozera. He must know." I was getting nowhere with him still.

"You're looking to the wrong people. Christian still doesn't know. Yuri knows. And Eddie. Eddie shouted at me for an entire day when he heard that I gave up; when I quit."

"He wants to talk to Aaron?" Shane walked right into my kitchen. "Why would he ask to talk to Aaron? What possible reason is there?"

This was definitely my doing, and now my friend was freaking out. "I know." I said, letting Shane know that I was aware that Mason might request an audience with Aaron. "It may have been my suggestion."

"What? Why would you suggest that?"

"Mason has questions."

"So?"

"So, I thought you and Mason were buddied up again. Why is this such a problem for you?"

"He wants to speak to Aaron alone. He doesn't want any Guardian interference or influence."

One-hundred percent not the safest of ideas, but as I gave more consideration to the thought of sending Aaron to see Mason, I recalled what I had said to Mason last we spoke. I was the one who suggested Mason talk to the "right" persons if he wanted the right answers. I was putting Aaron in a precarious position, causing Shane massive anxiety, but there were only three people who had knowledge of my "in between" time Mason was not permitted to go anywhere near Eddie, and Yuri wanted to repeatedly punch him in the throat. Aaron Drozdov was literally the only person Mason could talk to about these things.

"Let him do it." I advised Shane. "Let Aaron sit down with Mason. What harm could it do?"

"What harm could it do?" I could answer my own question, but really did not need to provide my friend with more concern about his Moroi. "You're not serious Bells."

I suddenly realized that I was being used. Shane, like me knew every direction this conversation could take, and he had come to me. I was currently the least likely person to ever place anyone near Mason Ashford. Why come to me?

"You were hoping I would say no." I surmised. "You were hoping that I would say no, so that you could blame me when you refuse Mason? That is a shitty thing to do, Reyes. I'm not going to be your scapegoat. If you want to say no, do it yourself. I am however on board with sending Aaron over to see Mason."

He looked remorseful enough after my berating of him, also acknowledging the crappy position he put me in.

"Why?" He asked, leaning onto his elbows. "Why are you on board such an uncontrollable idea like this?"

"It's not uncontrollable. Even if you and I aren't there with Aaron, I wouldn't go in without a plan."

"Why?" He questioned me again, wanting my reasons.

"It's personal." I kept the details to myself, but that was not good enough. "Aaron knows a part of me and a time in my life that you and others don't."

"What time? What does that mean?" Now Shane like Mason wanted more answers.

I was not ready to provide him with those answers yet. "Ultimately, this will be Aaron's decision. He must decide to talk to Mason. Before he does, I would like to speak to him on my own. Please."

Shane had no issue with me talking to Aaron alone, but evidently, his "trust" in Mason only went so far. Big surprise. A knock on my office door, close to evening hours, interrupted any work I was catching up on.

"Bellamy." Aaron slowly opened the door, smiling as he saw me. "Shane said that you want to see me."

I stood as he entered, trying to keep the look and feel of panic from my face. "Come on in. Have a seat."

Aaron sat in one of the chairs across from my desk, leaning back comfortably.

"You want to explain why you and Shane are acting so shifty the last few hours?"

"Are we?"

"Bells, what is going on?"

Out of nowhere, I felt as though I would cry. Recalling everything Aaron and I had talked about in Switzerland was bringing back memories, and doubts. He was now well aware of why Shane and I had jetted off to Vienna. He knew many details about Mason's return to Court, and I was pretty sure Shane had filled him in on things that many at Court weren't privy to. I wondered exactly how much Aaron knew, and I might've asked if he didn't start the conversation first.

"How are you doin, Bells? We haven't seen much of each other since you came back from Austria." I knew that he and others were worried that Mason's return might break me all over again, but Aaron also knew that I was stronger than that. "Jesse mentioned that you haven't been feeling like yourself lately."

"You talked to Jesse about me?"

"He's concerned. We are concerned. Mason's return has hit you the hardest."

"Speaking of Mason," I took the opportunity to change the subject, "I know that Shane mentioned that Mason wants to talk to you."

Aaron nodded, his eyes now looking tense.

"I'd like to ask you to do the same thing." I moved from where I stood, sitting in the chair next to my friend, taking his hands with mine. I knew what I was asking him to do, bringing up that same urge to cry again. After the tragedy and trauma he had suffered at the hands of Strigoi, I couldn't expect much from him. I was positive that he still had nightmares. I was also positive that I was running the risk of triggering some post-traumatic-nstress episode in him.

"I know what I'm asking. I know that this is no small favor I'm asking you to do, but you are the only person I can ask."

Aaron pulled his hand from mine, placing it under my chin, bringing up more memories of a time gone by. "You know that I would do anything for you." He surprised me. "Can I ask…"

"He wants to know about me." I replied before he could ask. "He wants to know about the side of me that only you know."

"You're asking me to tell him about Switzerland?"

"No." I stopped him. "I'm asking you to answer his questions. Leave Switzerland out of it."

"Will you be there?"

"No." The next shoe was dropped on Aaron, and now I could sense the trepidation radiating from him. "No Guardian interference or influence. Mason said he doesn't trust you to answer honestly if Shane and I are with you. I saw his refusal coming. "I know what I am asking you to do, but just because Shane and I cannot be there, does not mean that I would send you defenseless and alone. I'm sending Jesse with you."

I thought he might laugh. "Jesse? I hope you have a good plan. Sending in someone who is looking for a reason to kill your ex doesn't sound too wise."

"Jesse won't touch Mason unless he has to, and if that moment comes, Shane and I will literally be feet away."

I wasn't sure how convinced Aaron was, even after agreeing to see Mason, but as I'd anticipated, Jesse was all to wiling to join Aaron on a visit to Mason. I didn't enjoy sending two Moroi into Mason's apartment alone, if only for the fact that they both held long standing grudges against the man, but if there was anyone I could send in this particular case, I trusted Jesse. If any dangerous or tense moments crept up, I would know immediately. Jesse promised not to mask his emotions no matter how troubling.

"Shane and I are not allowed in the apartment with either of you, so I need you to be my eyes and ears in there Jess." I explained to my Moroi all over again while we stood in the visitor's Courtyard, a few feet back from Shane and Aaron. "I need you to stay in control. Aaron is there to answer simple questions that he knows the answers to. But, Mason has had time to become a master at his own manipulation tactics."

"You can trust me, Bells. I can do this for you." He took my hand

"I know. Anything goes wrong, if things go sideways, you call. I'm right out here."

"I assume you won't allow me to hit the guy." Jesse gave a short amused hum at the thought of punching Mason, walking ahead of me as I pulled on Aaron's awrm after Shane finished his own set of restrictions.

"I want you to be careful in there. I want you to be mindful of your surroundings, and if you need to walk out of there for any reason…"

"Bells," Again he put his hand beneath my chin, bringing me slightly closer, "Bells, it'll be okay. I agreed to this. We won't be in there long and he won't know anything you don't want him to." Aaron's voice was soft and reassuring. "Don't worry."

AARON

I walked through the door, into the front room, my eyes adjusting to the lighter surrounding. The room was pretty sparse. Two couches, a chair and table, a flat screen on the wall, and some electronics spread throughout. Compared to most other apartments, this place was lacking in space, décor, and amenities. Fit for the man who had willingly turned Strigoi, pushing the woman he claimed to love into the darkest pits of fear, pain, sadness, and grief. It was unbearable to think about what Mason had done. It was unthinkable and impossible to imagine what he was putting Bellamy through all over again.

As we entered the room, Jesse saw him first, a sharp breath escaping him.

"My God." I said, my eyes resting on him, feeling as if I had walked through a portal into some alternate universe. "You really are alive. You really were Strigoi." The last word felt as though it would tear my insides to shreds. I pulled myself together, knowing that Bellamy was counting on me, and I'd meant it when I promised to do anything for her.

"You asked me here to talk.' I moved in further and Mason peered around me.

"Your watchdog?"

To my surprise, Jesse kept his cool, not reacting to Mason's insult

"Are you going to get to the point of this meeting? What is it you wat to know? " I tried to do what Bellamy asked. I tried hiding my true feelings, tried keeping personal opinions to myself, and resisted the surge of anger and resentment.

"I am trying to understand Bellamy. After all of these years, she is a different person. She mentioned something cryptic that caught my attention, but when I asked her to elaborate, I was told to ask the right people."

"You and Shane are friends." I found myself mentioning the obvious. "And still, he doesn't want me here talking to you. He thinks it is a bad idea." That was the truth. He hadn't stopped telling me that he was not thrilled with me talking to Mason on my own.

"Hmph." Mason made a small noise. "And yet you are here. Why?"

"Because Bellamy approves. She asked and I'm here for her. No other reason."

"No other reason." He repeated my words with a stretch of venom, studying my words, twisting what I might say or think. Mason sat down, leaning to the side as he spoke. "She convinced you to come here alone, talk to me, and divulge her cryptic secrets, and you agreed, despite the fact that your own Guardian is against it." He analyzed the look I tried to hide, sitting across from him.

"Are you in love with her?" He reached for anything he could that might antagonize. "You wouldn't be the first Moroi who's fallen for her charms."

Jesse chuckled.

"Don't be ridiculous. She's my friend."

"That often makes unrequited love harder."

"You'd know." I spat back at him, pleasing Jesse as he stayed behind me, listening to the conversation as Bellamy had likely requested. "You talk to Rose lately?"

"Talk is a strong word." Mason said. "How long have you been in love with Bellamy?"

"That's enough." We both heard Jesse protectively growl his own command.

At that, Mason shut down any accusations, moving on with his purpose.

"She quit. She said that she quit. After I was gone, she decided not to be a Guardian."

I could feel Jesse doubting and denying what I knew to be factual.

"Why?" Mason asked me.

"Why do you think?" I couldn't help my tone, but it was a stupid question to ask. I gave a short pause, studying his reactions in return. "She was overwhelmed. She didn't want to lose anyone else. She lost who she was; lost who she is."

"Okay." The former Strigoi, former dead man seemed to understand the truth in my words. "Why do you know all of this? How did you get firsthand knowledge of these things? Bellamy said that no one knows that she quit, except you, Eddie, and Yuri Tverskaya."

"I want to know the same thing." Jesse chimed in. Had Bellamy not considered that Jesse would find out that there had been a possibility she never might've been his Guardian, or anyone else's for that matter?"

"I was there right after she quit." I hadn't told anyone, including Jesse these secrets I now revealed, and it was not easy with his eyes on me instead of Mason. "I was in a bad place mentally and emotionally. Bellamy was there to help me after my family and others were attacked." I was careful about what I mentioned, and how it was told. "We talked for days and nights. She told me what she had done, and I doubt I was alone in my shock. I told her she was crazy to quit. She is one of the best Guardians I've known. She lost faith, she lost her purpose, and ultimately she lost the person she was before you…" I did not need to finish my sentence.

I was another half hour before Jesse and I were walking back out of the apartment. I felt drained and weak after recalling so much. I must have looked the way I felt, because Shane and Bellamy had Jesse and I driven directly to one of the feeder's buildings.

BELLAMY

"Is Aaron in love with you?"

"What? I sounded offended, although it wasn't the first time the question had been asked. Bridgette once posed the same question, using the same words.

Standing outside of neighboring feeding rooms, I had to respond in a much more diplomatic way after the questions Mason asked.

"Why would Aaron be in love with me?"

"I know it sounds insane." Shane held onto the suspicious tone in his voice. "But the way he looks at you sometimes, the way he talks to you, and the way he reacts, it's almost as if…"

"Please don't read too much into it. Your Moroi is not in love with me."

"He broke up with Mia.' Shane mentioned.

"Again?"

"Something about not being able to fully commit himself."

Not that I was totally surprised by this bit of news. Mia and Aaron had already split up at least five times since losing the baby Mia carried. It was a sad loss, but it made keeping them together far more difficult.

"The funny this is," Shane continued, "I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. He is often willing to drop everything if you ask."

"That doesn't mean anything more than we are friends." The truth was, if anyone other Guardian had high-jacked Shane Reyes for a dangerous mission to Vienna, Aaron would've thrown a week long tirade and tantrum for the world to see.

"Something happened between you two and I want to know what it is."

"Fine." I caved.

"I want to know about Switzerland." I wasn't expecting him to say that. My chest tightened around the request. "I know it has something to do with you two. When we land in St. Moritz, Aaron grows sullen and nostalgic. Plus, I've heard both of you mention it."

"Switzerland is just a place."

"It has something to do with your connection to my Moroi."

"Almost everything." I softly voiced. "Okay." I agreed. "You are right. You should know. A Guardian should know everything about their Moroi. If it were Jesse, I'd want to know. Let's go back to our compound. Aaron and I will explain everything."

Shane, Aaron, and I were gathered in the main receiving room of the Zeklos compound as Aaron and I prepared to tell our Guardian friend all the details of what happened in Switzerland. The pounding knock on the front door didn't concern me until I heard Dimitri's voice in the foyer.

"Where the fuck is Bellamy?"

"Bells?" Jesse faltered, slowing opening the door and poking his head in a few seconds later. "Guardian Belikov is here. He would like to know where the fuck you are. His words not mine."

My heart dropped and my stomach was doing Olympic style cartwheels all of a sudden. My half-brother burst through the doors, past Jesse, and into the room. He knew, I thought. He knew what I had done, and he was pissed. I had agreed to let Aaron explain the events of the time shortly after Mason's presumed death. I should've expected the fallout to follow. A rumor at royal Court could spread in no time. The truth, in all of its salacious glory, traveled at miraculous speed. Did Mason go straight to Dimitri after the conversation with Aaron?

"Why would you hide something so important from me? Explain to me." Dimitri insisted. "Tell me why you would do something so irresponsible."

"Dimitri." Rose was at his side. "You said you were going to stay calm."

"I am calm." He growled, staring down at me.

"I don't want to talk about this with you?" I used the last word in a way that said he was an exception to all others.

"With me?" He was stone cold, and it did no less than worry me. He couldn't understand why I would not want him to know what I had done. "After everything we endured together Bellamy, how could you make such a permanent decision? Why did you never say anything to me? Why didn't you come to me? You ignored my calls. Explain yourself."

.."Why didn't I come to you?" Yup, I knew what he was on about, and it was time to come clean. "You were the enemy, Dimitri." My sentence was as matter-of-fact as I could make it. "Mason had just died, and I had very little clarity. People can do and think the worst things when emotions overtake reason. You were there in Seattle, and at the time, I blamed you. You let him die. I blamed all Guardians. Everyone around me let Mason die."

"What did you do, Bellamy?" It was Rose questioning me this time, trying to keep Dimitri from flying off the handle.

"I quit. I didn't want to take on the responsibility of killing, watching others be killed, or being killed. I didn't want to be responsible for another life." I confessed to Rose, Dimitri, Shane, and Aaron. "After I quit, things only got weirder."

"You blamed me." Dimitri sat down slowly. He sounded saddened by what I had confessed. He had not expected it. "You still blame me?"

"No. Of course I don't. I gained the clarity I needed while I was in Switzerland."

"Switzerland again." Shane breathed out. "What is it with Switzerland? What is it that connects you, Aaron, and Switzerland?

"Mason said that Aaron is one of three people who knows the details of that time." Dimitri added. "Why does he think that?"

I closed my eyes. The time had come. "You're all going to want to sit and get comfortable."

"Bells." Aaron nervously stopped me.

"I never should've asked you to keep secrets from Shane, and I should've been brave enough to talk to Dimitri." I shifted over as Aaron traded places with his Guardian. "We're going to tell them now."