LAST SCION COMPANION STORY

by savannah0707

THIS IS A COMPANION STORY TO 'LAST SCION'. IT ISN'T REQUIRED THAT YOU READ 'ls' FIRST, BUT IT IS A GOOD IDEA. THIS COMPANION STORY FOLLOWS BELLAMY PEACE, GUARDIAN TO JESSE ZEKLOS, A MOROI ROYAL. BELLAMY IS FACED WITH A DECISION WHEN NEWS OF A LOST LOVE SURFACES. SHE WILL HAVE TO FACE HIM AND ASK THE QUESTION: WHY? WHY DID HE LEAVE? WHY DOES HE BLAME HER?

9. Chapter 9

PART 9: WHAT HAPPENS IN SWITZERLAND

Listening to the messages filling up my voicemail was not without its own efforts. Every Guardian I knew was calling, leaving messages of condolences, of apology, regret, or of justification. The first message I heard made me want to throw my phone across the room. Better yet, I would smash it with a hammer.

"Bellamy it's Dimitri. (Silence) Please, call me."

This was the fifth message he had left for me, and he was asking a lot under the circumstances. Alberta called, but I was in no mood to talk to any Guardians. Members of the Council called and knocked on the door to Bridgette's apartment where I was hiding out. They had all dropped the ball. My questions, my valid questions continued to either be avoided or completely ignored. The excuse that novices were not caught or seen because cameras around Seattle were not a priority, was a lie. After the Badica housemurders, and the Drozdov attack, Seattle should've been priority number one. I didn't like people lying to me, deciding what I should or shouldn't know. I went on refusing all calls. Then Yuri called.

I had to force myself not to pick up my phone. I didn't blame him. I simply couldn't talk to him. I couldn't listen to him yet, but I did listen to his voicemail.

"Bellamy." (Silence from him too) "Bellamy," He repeated, "I'm so sorry. If there is anything I can do, anything you need, don't hesitate."

I closed my eyes, focusing on his accent, the accent that thickened with his emotions. I was grateful not to hear him say 'how he wished he had been there, wished he'd prevented the tragedy, or that he might've done more'. The last few seconds of the call was the sound of his breathing. It was low and unsteady. Listening to Yuri's voice did a little to lift my spirits.

After news of Seattle and Mason's death, I was banished (more or less) to Guardian Court. Bridgette and I had been training in Budapest, but when the attacks first began and news of the Badica's hit us, she was more on edge. Bridgette was on her phone with Council members more often. And then I was sent here, to Court.

I couldn't sit and hide forever, but I also didn't want to see or speak to anyone. I was alone in one of the small Guardian training depots, lifting weights when the doors opened, closing rather loudly. I assumed the noise was meant to get my attention as I turned to see Kenley Price motioning for me to stop what I was doing. I set down my weights, and picked up my water bottle.

"I chose this facility so that I could be alone."

"I know you are hurting Bellamy." Guardian Price attempted.

"I have nothing to say to the Council. I thought I made that clear by not taking your calls."

"Nothing to say, aside from the unprofessional drive by letter of resignation you dropped on us. We are in a period of transition and in the middle of a crisis. You cannot just quit." Kenley lectured me.

Perhaps my method of abandoning this path had not been wise or professional, but it made my point. I did not want to be a Guardian anymore. It was the decision I was making for my life. I would be responsible for myself and no one else. If others died, it wouldn't be my fault.

"Bridgette would like you to meet her in Switzerland." Kenley's words were more of a demand than a request. This, I considered, was a learned habit, because Bridgette was also very skilled in her very specific tones.

"Switzerland?" What is in Switzerland?" I asked.

"Her job."

"She's on a mission?" I inquired. "That's why she sent me here to Court?"

Kenley did not elaborate on her response, so the only information I would be given was: A: I was summoned to meet my Guardian aunt in Switzerland, and B: She was on a mission. The many problems with both statements crowded into my head. The main problem being…

"I'm not permitted to be on field missions with her." I pointed out the most obvious fact. "I don't have that kind of clearance." In fact, no Guardians outside of Bureau Ten were permitted to be on missions with Bridgette. She was often tasked with doing things that I didn't want to think about most days.

"Nevertheless," Kenley went on, "she has asked for you, and you are being sent immediately."

Something wasn't right, but I wasn't going to argue. "I have no other choice but to accept. But, as you and the Council demanded I be put in the position of Guardian earlier than most, please give me the courtesy of a straight answer. Why am I being pushed from Court grounds so quickly?

"There are groups from the royal Court and Guardians from St. Vladimir's Academy on their way to our Court."

There it was. The truth.

"You are not particularly fond of Guardians at this time."

"Curiously," I brought up the sensitive topic, "exactly which Academy Guardians will be here at Court?" I made my question sound less demanding.

"Does that matter?"

"It does to me. I want answers from them. I want face-to-face answers."

"That is not wise Bellamy."

"I want to stay and hear what they have to say for themselves."

"The Queen will also be in attendance."

"Oh." I stopped my petition to stay at Court. The arrival of Tatiana Ivashkov was a whole different and complicated set of circumstances.

"You are most definitely not a fan of Tatiana Ivashkov."

"That is putting it mildly." I spoke softer. "I get it Guardian Price.' I gave her a reprieve. "I will fight her opinions and those of the attending Academy Guardians, and Tatiana will not hesitate to make me suffer for voicing my opinions."

"Exactly, Guardian Pearce."

"I haven't changed my mind. I'm still not interested in being a Guardian." I repeated. "The title is not necessary."

"Of course." She chuckled. "You will be further briefed by Bridgette upon your arrival." She left me to return to Bridgette's apartment to pack my things. I had no clue how long I would be in Switzerland, or what I would be doing, so I packed for all occasions.

Descending the jet stairs felt surreal. Being in a completely different country made me feel far more separated from the life I once clung to. There was a tinted SUV parked near the jet, and as I reached the last step, Bridgette exited the vehicle's driver side. She didn't speak at first, but her eyes and body language were full of apology. I didn't like her feeling sorry for me. I pushed through my own emotions.

"Switzerland." I spoke first, pulling the collar of my jacket higher, fighting against the wind and falling snow. "I thought you were still in Hungary."

She smiled in greeting. "With all of the conflict and utter chaos your friends caused in Seattle," I flinched at the mention of the events that recently occurred in Seattle, "the Badica murders, and the Drozdov attack, I could not sit by and do nothing. I have a job to do." Bridgette added a not so subtle dig at my decision to relinquish the title of Guardian. "I am here to help. And so are you."

"That's why I'm here? You are in on this plot to keep me from Court while Tatiana and Academy Guardians gather to justify their mistakes?"

"There is no secret plot, Bellamy."

"That's not what Guardian Price said." I used a sing-song tone, moving closer to her. "She made it transparently clear that my particular sense of opinionated logic might not be appreciated by some."

Bridgette nodded. "Guardian Price knows your dislike for Tatiana runs deep. If the Queen is in attendance at Court, it is best that you are not." She knew more than she let on, as usual. "Now," She was back in full Guardian mode, "we have business to take care of. Follow me."

She was all business and talking fast as we began a drive through mountainous terrain, assuming that I picked up on every single detail and nuance of her speech.

"I have an assignment that I need you to take care of."

"An assignment?" I only had a short window of time to voice my feelings on the matter. "Oh, I am not going to like this, am I?"

I could feel Bridgette roll her eyes beside me. "Please don't be dramatic, Bellamy."

"I'm not being dramatic. I am stating a fact. What sort of assignment have you recruited me for?"

"There is a Moroi I would like you to guard for the next week."

And here was the truth. "You want me to play Guardian? Bridge," I sighed, knowing I was disappointing her, "I've already told you and the Council that I am no longer interested in being a Guardian. My thoughts on the matter have not changed."

"I heard about what you said to the Council when you interrupted a very important session." She confirmed that she'd heard everything I said, or rather wrote, but clearly she was not listening.

"You heard, but you still don't understand why I made the decision."

"I need someone that I can trust to do this." She changed the subject back to this project.

"There are Guardians who are far better skilled than me."

"True." She agreed. "But, none who possess your uncanny ability to simultaneously charm, pry, and listen to others while reading their behavior at the same time." Bridgette explained much of the situation to me as we continued our long drive.

Bridgette was expected to escort Lucca and Larisa Drozdov back to Guardian Court, in order to discuss the new allocation of Guardians after the recent attacks. The Drozdov family, in its entirety, lost three-quarters of their Guardians. A waste under any condition. It was another moment in time that I personally felt that both Council's acted far too cautiously. While she would be at Court, Bridgette tasked me with guarding a royal whom I was somewhat familiar with. Aaron Drozdov. Aaron was having the worst sort of nightmares, having seen Guardians and family members die at the hands, and fangs of Strigoi.

"Try to get him to talk to you, Bells." Bridgette urged. "See what you can do to help. You two might have more in common than you think."

I agreed to help my aunt. I was already in Switzerland, and figured a week of babysitting couldn't hurt.

The Survetta was situated on one of the many mountain tops in St. Moritz, Switzerland. Upon arrival, it looked more like a luxury hotel than a Swiss chalet. The outside alone made one's jaw drop immediately. Humans stayed away from this side of the mountain we were currently on, mostly because of the warning signs that had been purposely posted along the route. I had seen them start at the base of this mountain, and continue all the way up our drive. Guardians kept watch here, for those who did not listen to the signs, as well as looking out for Strigoi. After all, that was the job. Below us, at the base of the mountain, was the entire town of St. Moritz, with its quiet and quaint homes, shops, people, and a lake. It looked picturesque during the day, dusted in a thick layer of freshly dropped snow.

As we entered the main building, chalet still seemed less appropriate a word. It was a hotel. There were ten rooms, each the size of a very spacious luxury apartment available within the main part of this place. Along with the rooms within the hotel, there were five cabins on the property that could be rented, within the perimeters, all more heavily guarded after the recent attacks. The cabins, while not attached to the main residence, were all as fully staffed, stocked, and guarded as the main chalet. Bridgette said that a private cabin had been rented for me, mentioning something then about needing time to myself and time to gain more clarity and perspective. Translation: She did not want me to quit. Perhaps I was also here to start my mourning process, but then again, I was also here, away from anything and anyone I knew, to make a clear and more informed decision about being a Guardian.

"Guardian Pearce." A Moroi man in his early thirties made his way over to me and Bridgette. "Lord and lady Drozdov are expecting you back in their suite. Everything has been prepared for you and we are ready for you to…"

"Don't tell me you are leaving me on my own right away." I remarked, not expecting to dive into this new mess with such little knowledge of what to expect.

"I am not staying. I am meeting Lucca and Larisa Drozdov to let them know you are here, and that you have agreed to try helping your friend." Bridgette put a stop to the man practically falling at her feet. "This is my niece." She explained to him. "She is also Guardian Pearce. She will be staying for the next few days and nights as an emissary to the Guardian Council, overseeing the care and Guardian duties for Aaron Drozdov. See that she has everything she asks for."

'Emissary to the Guardian Council.' An interesting title meant to press fear into others. This was the Council's way of diplomatically manipulating me to their will again. The Moroi man looked from Bridgette to me, smiling, pleased in a way that said he would be ingratiating himself to me for the duration of my stay.

"Guardian Pearce." I was brought to a halt by the helpful concierge guru, who made a point to introduce himself before any others could. "I am Bastien Müller." He said. "Should you require anything-anything at all, do please call on me."

I smiled back at the man, listening as Bridgette went on speaking and giving very clear, not to be ignored or changed directions.

"Why am I playing pawn to the Council again?" I asked Bridgette as Bastien beckoned to show me to an underground entrance leading to the cabin that I would be staying in.

"You are not playing the part of a pawn. You are a Guardian. I told you that I am here on assignment, and they want…"

"They want to keep me out of trouble."

Bridgette grimaced, knowing that I was on the right path to what the Council members were expecting from me.

"Bells, it is a few days. Take this time to reflect."

The first and probably not the only thing that Bridgette failed to mention was that the Survetta was a hidden escape. It functioned mostly as a place for Moroi and their Guardians to escape attacks. And, there had certainly been plenty of those lately.

"You'll need to change before meeting Larisa Drozdov." Bridgette mentioned, taking a closer look at my attire.

"Why am I meeting lady Drozdov?"

"Because you will be sole Guardian to her only son for the next week, and after the string of unexpected attacks, she is hesitant about such a young Guardian being brought in." Bridgette had not said any of this to begin with, and I knew why. I should've expected the bias against me. "I have assured Larisa of your skill and extensive training since your graduation. She insisted on meeting with you herself. Bellamy, you must not be rude or sarcastic. Please take this seriously. I am trusting you."

"When have I ever been rude to anyone important?" I should not have asked this question aloud.

"Last week." I was reminded. "To the entire Guardian Council."

I held my smirk back, not wanting to cause a row. "That was different."

"In what way?"

"They asked for my honest opinion. I gave it."

"Please go and get changed." Bridgette shook her head. She was not up to debating me on the subject. "If you're not going to act like a Guardian, you can at least look like one."

Is there anyone else here at the hotel, or in the other cabins?" I asked Bastien, joining him as he led me away, showing me around my own borrowed Council cabin. It was clear that the Council was feeling the need to convince me to stay a Guardian.

"Bastien looked wary to respond, but because of my status as a Guardian now, he gave up as much information as he could.

"Guests check in and check out each night. The only guests staying for a long period of time have been the few members of the Drozdov family. They are in the main house. They recently arrived, after…"

"After the attacks on them and on the Badica family and others." I let him know that I knew enough.

Bastien nodded, continuing to show me around. This was no ordinary cabin. It was outfitted not for visiting Moroi, but for the Guardian Council. Few Moroi were ever permitted to even see this cabin, unless strictly ordered from a Council member. The entire cabin was three stories if you included the garage that held two fully loaded SUV's. Bridgette said I was only allowed to take the cars in life or death circumstances. The next floor up was the main floor. It was guarded and secured like no other cabin. It was used only by the Guardian Council members, so the technology and security were at the top of the game. Hiding all of that security was comfort. Rather than the same strict over the top luxury of the main hotel, this cabin utilized a comfortable sense of luxury. Everything was designed in a Neoclassical style, with much attention to detail. From the Art on the walls to the presentation of the hand towels in each bathroom, everything was perfectly staged. Bastien left to return to the hotel a short time later as evening fell with another foot of snow falling with it.

A short forty-five minutes later, I had showered, changed into an outfit deemed appropriate by Bridgette, and made my way back to the main hotel.

"This is important, Bellamy." Bridgette repeated to me, buttoning the top button of my shirt.

"Of course it is, Bridge. Which is why I'm not complaining about having to walk into a claustrophobia inducing room with a smile, putting up with any and all insulting comments about my age, my skill, and the condescending looks meant to belittle me even before I start this favor for you. I can guarantee I'll walk out of that room feeling worse about myself than I do now. But, I will get through it all because you asked."

"Thank you." She smiled sweetly, kissing my forehead.

She knocked on the door in front of us, entering Larisa Drozdov's suite of rooms, before introducing me. I stepped around Bridgette, watching as the royal woman looked me up and down, effectively analyzing every part of me before she sat down in a large desk chair with arms.

"Larisa, this is Guardian Bellamy Pearce."

"Your niece?" The protest in the woman's tone and stare was undeniable. "She is…"

"She is a Guardian." Bridgette defended before Larisa could use the word 'young'.

"She is a young Guardian." It was said anyway. "Perhaps too young." I kept my mouth closed and my comments to myself. "Your aunt informs me that you have met my son."

"Yes." I gave a succinct response. What more could I say? "I attended St. Vladimir's for seven months. We ran into one another once or twice."

Larisa nodded, giving me a look that I recognized all too well lately. "Bridgette, when you recommended your niece for this position, you did not mention her exact age."

And there it was. I tried to keep the look of insult from my face, and saw Bridgette trying her best not to look back at me, silently telling me not to lose my temper. My age was the thing that most Guardians and Moroi tended to focus on first. Bridgette and other Guardians made it clear when giving me my title, there would be obstacles. I would find Moroi and Guardians alike who would question and refuse to recognize me as a full on Guardian because of my age. "Why put me in this position if that is the case?" I had asked. The only answer given: "It is necessary." What that meant, was still very unclear to me.

"Bellamy is very close to her eighteenth birthday. She is a full Guardian and extensively trained." Bridgette defended me. "I can personally vouch for her, as will any member of our Guardian Council. Aaron will be as safe in Bellamy's care as he would with me. He might be safer." Her compliment was not lost on me. She went on about the details of my training with her, Dimitri Belikov, Janine Hathaway, and also the many training sessions I'd had with our own Council members."

"Okay." Larisa ultimately relented. "I am willing to take your word and trust that this will work out safely."

One obstacle down.

"Bellamy, you are aware of all Guardian guidelines and duties. I will be traveling with lord and lady Drozdov. We will be at Court for the next week."

"While we are away," Larisa slowly said the words, coming to stand with Bridgette, "I have a request." Bridgette only nodded as the Moroi woman went on.

"We would like you to find out why my son is having such terrible incapacitating nightmares."

"That's an east one." I remarked. "Of course he is having nightmares." I had started considering this subject as soon as Bridgette brought up St. Vladimir's. The Badica's were all erased from the royal lines for no other reason than their royal standing. Then, the Drozdov's, their staff, and Guardians were next. Aaron was faced with Strigoi. That could terrify anyone. Was it any wonder that he was not doing well?

"When he does sleep," I listened to Larisa explain, "He often wakes in a cold sweat, screaming at times." Larisa and Bridgette also mentioned his lack of appetite, his anxiety, and all other signs of his current suffering. "He roams the hotel from time to time, refusing sleep."

Another forty-five minutes had passed. It was forty-five minutes of conversation with Bridgette, examining the reach and limits of the property perimeters, and getting to know the hotel staff, as well as its own hired Guardians. I was now alone in this lovely decorated and technologically advanced cabin that was being used as bribery against me. I was already feeling extremely claustrophobic. Being alone had me overthinking far too many details. I reviewed every inch and detail of what I'd been told about the events before and after Mason's death. I thought about Mason, Eddie, Christian, Dimitri, and even Yuri, and I was ready to scream out, at the top of my lungs. As day turned to dusk, and dusk turned to night, the wind grew colder and the sky darker. I had been in Switzerland less than twenty-four hours, and already I felt ready to leave. The fact that Bridgette had put me on an assignment of my own, meant that I was stuck for now. If I felt I could escape without Bridgette finding me within hours, I'd have already been on a train, headed anywhere but here, anywhere but trapped deep in these feelings of loneliness, sorrow, regret, and a feeling of being incomplete again. I was getting nowhere being on my own. I thought, I paced, I reviewed and revisited, I cried, I paced… and started the process all over again. I hoped to feel even a little less claustrophobic and disoriented by exiting my cabin. I could have a cup of tea in the main lounge. I had seen a small Bistro in the hotel, along with a bar. To my own disappointment, I quickly realized that being alone is sometimes better than being surrounded by others. Strangers all looked up at me as I entered, both Moroi and Dhampirs all watching as I crossed the expansive front room.

Bridgette made another point before leaving me on my own, to inform me that this place had one of her personal credit cards on file, and that they could charge any and everything I wanted to that card. I had no doubt that much of the staff in this place would ingratiate themselves to me and my needs for the duration of my stay, however long that might be.

"Guardian Pearce." Even after all of this time, I still searched the room for Bridgette when someone called either of us by title. "Guardian Pearce." I realized that the person was talking to me. It was Bastien Müller. As soon as I stepped into the hotel, he was helping me with my coat.

"Thank you." I was friendly with the Moroi man willing to help me in any way. "I was hoping to have a cup of tea in the bar." I explained, and Bastien was all too happy to make it happen, showing me in through to the bar and bistro.

He whispered something to the hostess, and I watched her give a small nod, peering around to get a better look at me. I was no longer dressed like a Guardian, wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a white t-shirt that clung to my waist, nothing that made me look like I should be sitting in this particular bar either. But, I was shown to a table immediately. I was offered a private booth to myself, and as I sat down, happy to keep to myself, I saw that might not be possible.

"Can I get you anything else, Guardian Pearce?"Bastien stood, waiting for me to ask. "Biscuits with your tea? Scones? Would you like dessert?"

"I am not very hungry." I refused, seeing the eyes of the man look back at me with the same sympathy of those who knew Mason had left me forever.

Had Bridgette warned people of the other reason why I'd been shipped here, and all that had happened? Was I also being catered to because of the tragedy of Mason's death? I chose not to dwell on any of that as Bastien disappeared, leaving me to my tea. Ten minutes into my first cup, as I sank deeper into the loud intense ravine of thoughts, trying to ignore the passing glances I received as people walked by, I was again interrupted.

"The Moroi gentleman two booths down has asked for you to join him." One of the waiters, whose nametag read 'Tobias', brought a second cup of tea to me.

I did not necessarily want to be alone, but the idea of sitting with some strange Moroi man was not part of my plans. I had just lost Mason, left Christian, and I had given up Yuri. Considering the idea of being around another man, who probably only wanted to get my clothes off, was not my idea of fun. I would have preferred swimming naked in the snow.

"Please tell the Moroi gentleman two booths down no thank you." I had no intention of letting some random guy think that my attention was so easily granted. "That is a nice offer, but I must respectfully decline."

The waiter nodded, quietly walking to his left, assumable to give my declined invitation to the man. I went back to concentrating on the cup of tea in front of me, watching the steam rise as my finger trailed along the top edge of the cup, circling over and over.

"If you will not join me," I heard a distinct voice mixed with arrogance and flirtation say as a man came to stand at the edge of the booth I occupied, "may I at least join you?"

I lifted my head, my eyes coming to rest on a familiar face. Aaron.

"I do hate to sit alone." He spoke in that recognizably flirtatious tone of his.

I smiled for a second, allowing him to sit across from me. At least he wasn't a stranger. And because I did not want to be completely alone either, I would take what I could get. Besides, it was my job to guard and get a read on his troubled behavior over the next week.

"What are you doing so far away from St. Vladimir's?" He had to know that Bridgette and I were related, and that she was guarding his parents.

"I graduated early." I told him, lowering my head.

He sounded surprised, but I recalled that less than a handful of people knew that the Guardian Council had made this decision for me.

"You're kidding." I heard him laugh a bit. "So, you're here…"

"On a Guardian assignment."

"Really." Now he was more intrigued. "Who?"

My eyes lifted, meeting his and he knew. "You're here as my Guardian?"

"It appears that way."

"Why?" He was asking more questions than I wanted to answer.

"Your parents are heading to…"

"Your neck of the woods." He joked. "Guardian Court."

"My aunt is escorting them to Court, and they all want to be sure that you are well guarded." I kept my ulterior motives to myself. "Bridgette mentioned that you are having trouble sleeping. Nightmares?" I read fear in his eyes, but defensiveness in his body language. "I have them too. After coming face to face with my first Strigoi, I had the worst nightmares imaginable. For weeks after that, I was afraid to close my eyes."

"What makes you think I'm having nightmares?"

"The circles." I kept Bridgette and Larisa's deeper concerns quiet.

Aaron lifted an eyebrow in question. "Circles?"

"The dark circles under your eyes. You haven't slept in…"

"I've slept."

"Not well obviously."

Aaron went quiet. "So," I approached the first matter, "why are you still here in Switzerland?" I asked him, curious about his opinion and thoughts about why he had not yet returned to his friends and the Academy. Security had since been tremendously increased in the last few days and nights, so I had to think that he might be safer with the Academy Guardians, rather than here or anywhere else where Strigoi were still hunting down royal families.

At the thought of answering my inquiry, I saw the regret and anguish pass over his face. As Aaron sat in the booth, keeping a distance across the table, I knew what he would say. I knew that look of hopelessness. I felt it grip me when Mason died.

"We escaped. My family and I barely escaped when Strigoi attacked. We are in mourning for the Badica family." He answered, and from the shifting of his body language and his quieting volume I knew that the mourning he spoke of had hit close to home.

I did not pry, but this time I did not need to. Aaron talked on his own.

"So many innocent people were killed in the…

"The attack on the Badica's and their Guardians." I finished, letting him know that I knew about the horrible incident.

Aaron lowered his head slowly.

"Aaron." My hands moved up to my face in shock and empathy for what he had gone through too. "I am so sorry." Emotions swelled and swirled within me, feeling the loss of Mason all over again. "I know what it feels like to lose people you care for to a Strigoi."

Aaron had not yet heard much about the escaped novices and Moroi back in the states. I told him what I could and what I knew, still mourning my own loss.

"How could they be so stupid? There are age and magic laws for good reason." Aaron was in angered agreement with me. "Those novices were not ready to find their way out of a bad situation like that. It's bad enough that Strigoi exist at all," he growled, "but to purposely go looking for them is absurd." He agreed with the fact that Mason, Eddie, and Rose needed more training before being thrown into the fray.

Aaron also shared a similar opinion on these Moroi issues. "Fighting at all is never going to be a good idea." He shook his head, drinking his iced tea. "Fighting with magic is a whole new issue. It is…that's never going to be accepted. It should not be accepted. Neither Council should ever agree to that."

"I wholeheartedly agree. Which is why I'm not allowed at Court." I sipped my tea.

The two of us talked longer, discussing the students at St. Vladimir's, laws that were being challenged at both Courts, we talked about Christian and about Vasilissa Dragomir, and then we started to talk about Mason. It was difficult to talk about, but for some strange cosmic reason, it helped. Talking to Aaron Drozdov was helping me to feel a little more numb. An hour later we were paying the check, and heading out of the establishment.

You really should try and rest." I suggested, looking at the time and the staff around us preparing for daylight hours. "I'm not asking you to sleep." I was not expecting him to agree so easily, and he expectedly started fighting me on the issue, until I offered to stay with him.

Aaron was spending much of him time within the confines of his rooms these days. A short elevator ride brought us up to the floor that Aaron and his parents occupied. One needed a key to access the floor, which made me feel better about security measures, but as we walked down the stretch of long hallway, I counted each security camera, and memorized any and all potential exits from this floor. We reached Aaron's personal suite, directly across the hall from Lucca and Larisa's suite of rooms.

"Come in." Aaron offered.

I entered through two large sturdy doors, locking them behind me. The décor in the foyer and main rooms was in blatant contrast to my Guardian cabin. It was darker, thanks to the blackout curtains, but still extravagantly decorated with reds and golds throughout.

"Do you want anything?" I was offered by my host. He was stalling.

"I said I would stay, but only if you lie down and rest. Please."

He smiled at me again. "Okay. I'll go change. Give me a few minutes."

I watched as he walked away, closing himself inside of the bedroom. Ten minutes later, the door reopened. Aaron had changed into a pair of pajama pants to be more comfortable as he granted my request.

"There is a couch inside." He mentioned, pointing to what was more of a loveseat than a couch.

"I'll stay." I stepped into his room, sitting on the couch. "I'll be right here." Still I listened to protesting.

"I hope you're not expecting me to sleep."

"I expect you to lie down and rest. Sleep is not my condition."

To my surprise, Aaron crawled up onto his bed, facing me as he put his head to his pillow, his arm tucked underneath for support. His eyes were closed two hours later, lulled into a moment of sleep before I watched the Moroi sit straight up, breathing as though he had run a marathon.

"No!" He shouted, and I instantly shot up from the couch, instinctively going to him. "Oh God, no."

"Aaron." I was sitting beside him, my hands touching his shoulders. Without another word, he reached out, his arms pulling me against him. "Aaron, it's alright." My arms wrapped around his waist. "You're safe. It was a nightmare." I could feel his fear. It radiated from him as he shook.

"It wasn't. It was real. I was there. It all happened. They died. They all died violent deaths." He held me tighter and I held him in return. "Please don't leave." He beseeched.

"I'm here Aaron. I'm not going anywhere."

His breathing eventually began to settle, and his heartbeat normalized as we sat taking in deep breaths together. I thought he might settle down again as his arms released me. Instead, he was back out of bed, throwing on a shirt, walking back into the main area of his suite.

"I cannot see that again." He insisted. "I won't watch people being ripped apart every time my eyes close."

Nope. He was not going to sleep today, and there was nothing I could do to change that. I didn't want to change it now. Seeing what Aaron was going through reminded me of my own experiences. The first time that I had killed a Strigoi, the first time I'd looked into the eyes of evil, I was terrified. I was lucky to have Dimitri with me that night. But, it did not mean that the nightmares did not plague me. I was affected by what I had gone through, and the Moroi I was looking after was going through much the same thing.

"I want to go for a walk." He insisted, and immediately I knew that any response I gave might cause a row.

"It's two in the afternoon." It was not exactly the best time for Moroi to go walking outdoors. Not that night was any better these days.

"So?"

"So, I'm not too keen on risking your health more by letting you pass out from exhaustion. Can we not think of something better to do for the next several daylight hours?"

"Bellamy," Here came the argument, "I'm not tired, I'm not hungry, and the walls are beginning to close in on me. Please can we get out and go for a walk?"

Who was I to argue that last point? I was no stranger to claustrophobic tendencies. Even so… "It isn't a safe idea, Aaron."

"Safe?" My logic was questioned. "It's the middle of the day. Strigoi aren't coming out for a fight."

I scoffed at his flawed argument. "You ought to know by now that Strigoi are no longer the only thing we need to worry about."

"Humans." He was starting to get that alarmed tenor to his voice, but it change in a matter of seconds. "I guess we could always stay here and find trouble of our own to get into." He implied, his eyes locked to mine.

I couldn't tell if he was bluffing, but I was not about to take a chance either. "Outside for a walk it is." I relented. "Don't forget to wear a jacket with a hood to cover yourself."

There was little sun showing outside, thanks to the clouds and wintery weather, but it was still bright enough to drain the energy of a Moroi who lacked sleep and an appetite. I had already walked the perimeters of this place, so it was easier to map out when we were into dangerous territory. Actually, being outside, away from the hotel gave me a chance to talk and discover how far the strain went in Aaron.

"I hate feeling this way.' He said before I found the words to approach. I could sense all of his frustration. He wanted to yell as loudly as he could. I wouldn't have judged if he tried to topple the trees around us with a good shout. "I don't know how to stop feeling so…"

"Scared? Helpless? Alone? Panicked?" I tried, hitting all of the right words this time.

He nodded.

"I know how it feels. I wish there was something I could say or do to make it all disappear. There is no profound solution."

We walked in silence for a few more minutes, listening to nature around us. It was deafening.

"Thank you by the way."

"For what?" I was grateful when Aaron started to talk again.

"For still being next to me when I woke up."

He had assumed that I would leave once his eyes were closed? I liked to think that I deserved a little more trust.

"I gave you my word that I would be beside you."

To this he simply hummed a reply. "How do you really keep your nightmares from overwhelming you?" He kept asking questions.

This time I gave more consideration to my answer. More insight to his problem gave me better clarity. "I fight." The look on his face said he feared the way I might handle my own personal demons. "In order to erase the images that plague my sleep."

"What I meant to say is, we have to fight an internal battle. It is a battle that many Guardians struggle with."

"Really?" Aaron sounded almost comforted to hear that he was not the only person to find himself walking through this dark tunnel.

"We fight the demons that tell us we aren't strong enough to come through the opposite end of the horrors we have seen. We fight the thing that says we are too scared, or that we should hide, ignore the problems. We fight." I said.

"You're still fighting." Aaron noticed, and I couldn't deny telling him the truth.

"I've seen a lot of death in the last year of my life. Strigoi included."

"That's right." He chuckled low. "I never got to say congratulations to you."

"What are you congratulating me for?"

"Back at St. Vladimir's, some of the Moroi would talk. It was mentioned that you got your first molnija mark by killing a Strigoi outside of the Academy gates. You kept us safe that night." He brought up my fight with Brooklyn and the same pain returned to dig into my heart.

"That was my mother." I said to him, letting him in on one of my own secrets.

"Your mother was Strigoi?"

This was about to start a whole new conversation, and frankly I did not need the rude comments and disgraced looks from him too.

"Yes, and I would rather not discuss it."

Aaron easily accepted my request. "Is that also why you are here in Switzerland?"

"No." I told him. "I am here for many reasons. I'm here as a favor to Bridgette, I'm here because Mason died, and I'm here because I cannot be trusted to keep my personal opinions from being spoken to the Queen who is currently on Guardian Court grounds with Guardians from St. Vladimir's. Oh yeah, also I'm here because I quit. The Council is less than happy with me for that decision."

"Quit? He inquired. "Quit what?"

"A couple of days ago, I decided not to be Guardian anymore."

Aaron frowned and his eyes were full on confliction. The idea of me not being a Guardian looked to be a harder concept for him to accept. "Can you do that? What does that mean?"

"It means that I am guarding you this week, as a favor to Bridgette. After this, I will find a new path. My own path."

"Hmm." He hummed again, making it clear that he did not entirely approve or truly understand. "So you just quit being a Guardian." His head now shook in amusement. "I can't picture it. I watched you train at St. Vladimir's. You are," he smiled, "incredible. Bellamy, the only fighters better than you at the Academy, are the Guardian instructors themselves." He complimented, making me feel good about my skills, but also slightly conflicted.

""Thank you. "I said. "But, what's done is done. I've made my decision."

"Did you quit because of what you've seen? Is it because of your nightmares?" Aaron was looking straight back at me, searching for this answer specifically. "If you don't mind my asking."

"Partly." I was honest with him. "I also can't imagine doing this job without Mason. I quit because Mason died, and there was no good logical reason for him to die. Being a Guardian seems rather pointless if we are getting killed for nothing."

"No, I guess not." His tone still held an edge of deep dissatisfaction with my answer.

After not being able to sleep through the day, Aaron kept to his room into the night, tossing and turning in the darkness. I was forced to leave his room a few hours in, called down to answer a call from Kenley Price. She made sure of my safe arrival, my updates from Bridgette, and my current assignment. I knocked on Aaron's door when I returned, only to return to a bitchy Moroi.

"Please go away." He mumbled, pulling his blanket over his head. I had literally been gone for ten minutes. When did he have time to go through such a swift mood change?

"Okay." I agreed to his moody request. "I'm going back downstairs. I am going to pop down into the bar for ten to fifteen minutes. You can either go on feeling miserable in your small space of the world, or you can join me in my misery with alcohol. Your choice." I backed out of his room, leaving the door open a crack. I had a new plan, and a new way of going in depth to his problems.

Ten minutes after ordering three shots of vodka, I was finally joined by my temporary Moroi. He still looked exhausted and broken. I found myself feeling sorry for him, and everything he'd been forced to see. He had bed head, his shirt was wrinkled, and he wore the same pajama pants he'd had on when I left his room.

"You look like you just rolled out of bed."

"I did just roll out of bed."

I saw the bartender walking by, so I indicated for more drinks to be brought my way. He complied, pouring two more shots at first. I handed one to Aaron.

"For future reference, when I ask you to join me, I expect you to wear proper clothing. You are a Drozdov for God's sake."

"You sound like my mother." He drank his shot, making a face that told me he was not anticipating the strength of the alcohol. "Why are they serving you drinks?" He then inquired.

"I'm a Guardian." I replied, drinking another shot, sliding a second over to him. "Guardians are more often than not, eighteen years of age. Everyone here assumes that I am of age, and I am in no state of mind to correct them."

"Enough said." Aaron agreed and drank the second shot.

"What would you like to do tonight? We can do anything you'd like. Within reason."

He contemplated a response for less than a minute of time. "This." He said to me. "I want to do this."

"We cannot sit here and drink all night long."

"Why not?"

I did not know how I should answer his question. Truthfully, I was not opposed to using the next several hours to find my way to the bottom of a bottle or two.

"If Bridgette or your parents call, we should be sober. Relatively sober." I used Bridgette and his parents as an excuse, knowing that at some point I should expect a call or two.

"You are determined to get me out of my room."

"I think I've accomplished that part." I smirked back at Aaron, motioning to the surrounding area. "It's not my job this week to get you out of your room, Aaron. It's my responsibility to see that you are well protected."

"So, my mother didn't ask you to "talk to me" She didn't convince you to go digging around in my head to find out why I'm so…"

"Destroyed?" I knew the exact word to use this time. "Of course she did." There was no way to hide the request Larisa made from him, and I was not willing to lie to him about this. "Your parents are concerned. I am concerned."

"Given the opportunity," Aaron then tried using logic against me, "after Mason's death," he added the use of my own grief against me, "wouldn't you rather be in bed with the lights off, shutting the world out for a little while?"

He had me there. It sounded like a great idea, if it were actually possible. "Sure I would." I confessed. Lying in bed was a nice thought. Shutting out the world sounded like the easiest idea in theory, but I couldn't do it. Not now anyway. "I don't have that option." I explained. "I can't stay in bed and ignore what happened. If I crawl into bed now, I won't get up. What does hiding from my problems really solve? The world keeps moving, and time doesn't stop for death or grief." I watched Aaron's reactions as I spoke, telling him how I really felt about these things.

"Besides, every time I crawl into bed, I think about Mason, what happened, why it happened, and how it all could've been prevented. I think about the Guardians who were not there when they should've been. I think about Christian ignoring the things I've said to him about mixing magic and fighting."

"You understand." Aaron stopped me from rambling. "You get it."

"More than anyone, I understand what you are going through. That's why I think we should talk. Everything you have seen I've seen. I know the loss, the strain, the panic- I know it all so well."

His hand touched to my arm, his fingers slowly pulling away. "How did you conquer it?" He was asking the same question as earlier. "How the hell are you still standing right now?"

We both drank and I gave him a real answer this time. "Truthfully, I haven't conquered anything yet. I learned how to compartmentalize. I don't focus on it. I can't yet. If I do, I don't make it through the day or night. I fall apart, and picking myself up in pieces, becomes a full time job."

"Don't think about it." He considered. "That night is all I see. When I close my eyes I only see the blood, I hear the screaming of innocent people, I feel the hands of Guardians grabbing me, pulling me to safety as others suffered and died."

My heart sank as I watched him reliving vivid nightmares. I touched his hands, still examining his reactions and expressions.

"I have those nightmares too. Sometimes I wake up mid panic attack."

"You too?"

"Yes." I said.

We were doing more talking than drinking after a few more shots, and I had suddenly gained a better concept of where Aaron stood after the attacks, and how I might be helpful. Hours later, the sun was on the rise yet again. Aaron was quiet and comfortably sprawled across a couch in his hotel suite. He had no intention of lying back down to rest, and suggesting it was a mistake I would make only once. Instead, he was on a mission to annoy his Guardian by rapidly flipping through channels on the television. The sounds of changing voices, violence, and movie genres changing in rapid succession was grating. I could only handle it for so long.

"Must you do that?" I finally snapped, stopping him. He landed on a French news channel and met my eyes.

"It bothers you?"

"Very much." I returned. "Please settle on a channel and stick to it."

"I'm sorry." He needlessly apologized. "But, everything is in French."

"Yes. Because one of the main languages people speak here is French."

"Well, I don't speak French. Do you?"

"Yes."

"Of course you do." His response was not derisive, but unsurprised by the fact I had provided.

"And those last two movies you flipped past weren't in French. They were Romansh."

Our mainly mundane conversation halted as soon as my phone rang. The number was a familiar one. It was the hotel concierge. When I picked up, Bastien did not sound happy.

"There is a visitor here at the desk, asking to see you Guardian Pearce."

"Who is it?" I was not expecting anyone I knew to randomly show up in St. Moritz of all places. No one knew that I was here, except Bridgette and members of the Guardian Council.

The concierge master either wouldn't or couldn't reveal the identity of the visitor over the phone, so I instructed him to have the person wait downstairs. My Guardian spidey senses were on alert, and my nerves were only made worse when Aaron insisted on tagging along. We argued for what felt like an hour, but in reality was about ten minutes. I relented as we both entered the elevator, taking the short trip downstairs. The moment the doors re-opened, I could feel that this was not right. Literally no one in the world would come here to look for me. This sort of situation had me questioning each decision I made. It had me looking around the entire room before exiting.

I took in a sharp breath and felt my heartbeat speed up. Aaron and I stepped out past the bank of elevators just in time to see the dark-haired woman turn towards us. It was impossible not to recognize her.

"I thought you said that no one knows you are here." Aaron had the same questions in mind. "What is she doing here?"

"I think that she is here to see Bridgette." I kept my voice low. "She asked for Guardian Pearce. Aaron, I need you to quickly turn around and go back upstairs to your room. Stay there and don't let anyone in." There was nothing ambiguous about my tone, but I could see him resisting, fighting the urge to follow my orders.

"I'm not." He refused. "I'm not leaving. What is so wrong that I have to leave immediately? Is she a threat?"

""Bellamy?" His question went unanswered as my name was called out in surprise from the lobby.

I spun around, keeping Aaron at my back as much as I could. "Hello, Tasha." The visitor was none other than Natasha Ozera. Bridgette had carelessly mentioned something about Tasha causing trouble in Idaho, questioning Moroi politics and laws. She was also causing more friction between Bridgette and Dimitri.

"What are you doing here?" She hugged me.

"My job. I'm guarding a Moroi for a few days." I feigned enough of a light tone.

Again, the look of surprise and confusion. "You're a Guardian now? Has the Guardian Council given up and decided to start employing children to fight wars now?"

Her question was met with more indignation than I should've shown. "I'm hardly a child and hardly inexperienced."

Tasha said nothing in response, but I could see bitterness in the dark of her eyes. Her gaze shifted to Aaron as he subtly came to stand on my right.

"I expect you are here to see Bridgette rather than me. She is…"

"Where is she?"

"On a mission." That was something that Tasha would've known if Bridgette had sent for her. And it was highly unlikely that Bridgette would send for Tasha while on duty.

"I did come to see Bridgette." She confirmed what I already knew. "But you will do. I need your help."

"How can I help?"

Tasha motioned to the sitting area in the lobby. I walked in behind her, my glance moving to where Bastien stood behind his desk, also watching. Did he recognize Tasha? Did he not trust her sudden appearance too? He nodded and I knew that I had his attention. I sat, keeping Aaron by my side.

"I was coming here to speak with Bridgette about these outdated laws."

"Outdated?" Sure, some of our laws were somewhat antiquated, but why would it bother Natasha Ozera enough to take so much time to seek out Bridgette?

"The magic laws." She clarified. "No doubt you have heard about the recent discussions about fighting with magic. Even the Queen has been unusually vocal." Tasha leaned back in the chair she occupied.

This was not a debate that I wanted to have right now, or right here. It was a useless and futile argument. Not to mention it was inappropriate after all that had recently occurred. It was a short stretch of luck when my phone rang again. I looked at the caller, and made a snap decision.

"If you will excuse me. It's Bridgette. I need to take this." I stepped only feet away from Aaron as I picked up my phone, and began speaking. When I hung up, I was back standing beside Aaron within seconds. I had become much faster over the last several months.

"How did you know to come here specifically?" I asked Tasha, placing my hand to Aaron's shoulder. "If you don't mind my asking."

"Is that important?" Tasha sat up, preparing to stand as well.

"I'd say it's important. Your showing up here, out of the blue, compromises the safety of others. It compromises Bridgette and her job. How exactly did you locate her?"

"That was the easy part."

"You're lying." I argued, knowing the truth, gaining more of it as she spoke. "It would not be an easy task. It should've been impossible. Bridgette never gives away the location of any mission. It's against every procedure and code ingrained into her. Hell, I don't know where she is ninety percent of the time, and I'm family." I put my hand to Aaron's back. "Aaron, it's time for us to leave." Without any hesitation, Aaron stood, allowing me to pull him behind me. He took hold of my hand, and I knew he was uncomfortable.

"You talked to Bridgette and she told you about Dimitri, didn't she?"

Yes I was gaining more information by the minute.

"She doesn't own the man. She discarded him. They broke up. He owes her nothing. If he wants to be my Guardian, she should not have a say in his choice."

"Have a restful day Natasha." I said as much as I needed, keeping my tone as civil as I could manage.

"Bellamy, I do hope to see you again before I leave."

'Fat chance.' I wanted to say, but held my tongue. Instead I smiled, ushering Aaron away from the room. He made a movement towards the elevators, but I resisted, making another snap decision.

"This way." I ordered, both of us walking calmly to the heavy steel entrance leading to my private cabin.

"I need to call Bridgette."

"Who was that on the phone?" Aaron asked as we walked at a fast pace through the long steel corridor that lead to my cabin.

"No one. That was a way of getting information from Natasha. She should not be here." I angrily said. "She should not in any way, shape, or form, know where to locate Bridgette."

Aaron still wasn't seeing the bigger picture, and the bigger problem with anyone arbitrarily deciding to show up here. I was trying to keep the way in which I conveyed this trouble calm. I was not looking to stress Aaron out any more than he currently was. He was having enough trouble containing his nightmares. Neither of us needed to think we should be looking over our shoulders at sketchy Moroi too. I wondered if Tasha showing up at the Survetta meant that she was looking for a way to discredit Bridgette? She had mentioned Dimitri, and clearly there were issues between the three that I was unaware of, but it made me think.

"What did she say to you?" I questioned Aaron as we reached the door. I pulled out my key, and unlocked the doors to the Guardian cabin.

"Nothing." Aaron entered after me. His eyes were wide and he was avoiding my eyes. I could tell he was lying, keeping something from me. "Wow. This is a nice cabin."

"It's a bribe. I've got everything you might need here." I pointed out everything within my cabin. "Entertainment on the first floor, bedrooms on the second. Kitchen is that way." I pointed towards the back of the cabin where I had a small personal sized kitchen. There's blood on hand if you need or want it."

"I should've listened to you." He quietly spoke. "I should've gone back upstairs. She asked if you were planning on becoming my permanent Guardian." Aaron hesitated, finally confessing some of what Tasha said when I'd stepped away. "Before I could answer, she made a very rude comment about you not being good enough to guard Christian."

"Oh." I replied. It was good to know how people really felt. It made me sad to hear Tasha's real opinion of me and whom I might guard. This was not something Tasha would admit to me, but in the end, it no longer mattered. Chris and I weren't together anymore.

"For what it's worth," He noticed my change in demeanor as I considered the comments made, "she couldn't be more off the mark if she tried."

"Thank you." I smiled up at him. "Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to call Bridge." I stepped away as Aaron went into the living room, picking up and playing with the many remotes used throughout the cabin.

"What did she say?" Bridgette was immediately questioning Tasha's motives and sudden appearance as I explained the situation. "What did she want?"

"Some outrageous notion about changing the magic and fighting laws. She mentioned that Tatiana is now voicing opinions on the matter." I paused, hearing the deep sigh Bridgette gave, indicating stressful situations. "Bridge, how bad is all of this getting?"

"Bad." She admitted to me. "There are arguments on both sides of that issue, but it will not be resolved any time soon." She gave another long stressed groan. "Bells," She said my name, and I knew this sound. I had done or said something wrong and she was going to reprimand me. "Bells, why are you ignoring Dimitri Belikov?" She was talking to Dimitri again? Had they made up? Did she know about any trouble between him and Tasha?

"I got his voicemails." I verified that he continued to leave me multiple messages. "I don't have anything to say to him."

"This is a difficult time for him too Bellamy." I really did not want to listen to this argument from anyone. "He is fighting for you. Talk to him, please." So, Bridgette was on the Guardian side of this issue. Forgive and forget.

"I don't have anything to say to him." I repeated.

"So don't say anything." She continued to push. "Let him talk. You cannot see it past your grief, but Dimitri needs you right now. Please call him."

I yielded. I would call Dimitri. I would hear him out. But really, what was he going to say that I didn't already know? I was tired of apologies and excuses from Guardians. Bridgette finished our call by mentioning that she and Larisa were preparing for their return. Lucca Drozdov would make his way to royal Court to further petition for Guardians. Their return to Switzerland did not mean that I was of the hook however. I was contracted to finish an entire week.

I hung up and returned to Aaron, who had figured out how to draw the blackout shades, use the dvd player, and he'd found the coffee bar.

"How is Bridgette? Did she say how things at Court are going?" He asked as I sat down.

"She and your mum are on their way back to Switzerland. Your father will stay and come to an accord with the Queen and Council. Probably another day before they get here, depending on their departure schedule."

"Does that upset you?" Aaron was currently reading my crossed arms and tense mood

"No."

"But you are upset."

I leaned back, not realizing his arm was resting behind me. Without thinking, I let him pull his arm around my shoulders. "I'm not upset. I'm in a position that will require more courage than I have, and I have to do something that requires a level of civility that I am maybe not ready to feel or show."

He kept his arm around me as we both looked up at the subtitled movie. "Bellamy, you are one of the brave ones. After everything you have told me, everything you have conquered, including death, I think that whatever you have to face should be easier than you imagine

"Maybe." I wasn't sounding as confident as Aaron.

As the movie we were half watching finished, my sense of relaxation disappeared. I'd had a two hour reprieve from my problems, but now had to face it.

"You can do this." Aaron encouraged me as I stood, pulling out my phone again, dialing a number that I probably still knew better than my own.

"Belikov." He answered his phone in Russian, not recognizing my number yet.

"Dimitri." I already sounded short and annoyed.

"Bellamy? Bells, thank God. I have been so worried." His usual soft peaceful tone was gone. He sounded both frantic and relieved. "Did you get my messages? Are you all right?"

Was I alright? What the hell kind of question was that? I didn't answer and Dimitri was smart enough to know that my silence spoke volumes.

"That was a stupid question. I apologize."

And here were more of the apologies, I thought.

"Bridgette insisted that I call you." I let him know that this call had not been my idea, and if given the choice we would not be speaking yet.

"I'm glad." He went supremely soft spoken again. "I have been worried. I asked Bridgette about you."

"Bridgette is at Guardian Court."

"I know." Dimitri returned. "Many of us have been back and forth to Court these last several days. Your aunt has been extremely vague about your whereabouts and about your state of mind."

"You've been at Guardian Court too?"

"Yes." He answered. "And I was hoping I might see you there."

Another piece of this shifty puzzle revealed. I had another clue as to why the Council had shoved me away from Court so swiftly. They were in cahoots to keep me away from Dimitri as well as Tatiana.

"I'm doing a favor for Bridgette."

"And you can't tell me where you are?"

"No." Any other time, I wouldn't have thought twice about discussing becoming a Guardian, or my current location with Dimitri Belikov. He'd had my unconditional trust. But, things had changed. It wasn't that I couldn't tell him where I was, and what I was doing. I didn't want to. Not to mention I did not need a twelve hour bitching from him about my decision to no longer be a Guardian.

"I'm glad you called me Bellamy. I want to say I'm sorry. I…"

"I don't want an apology." I kept my voice low, moving out of the room, away from Aaron. "I want to know what happened." I sounded less angry, but more determined to hear the truth.

Dimitri was silent, wary to provide details. He, much like the Council, was deciding what I could and shouldn't know.

"Here is your chance to talk to me, Belikov." I let him know that I was not letting him off the hook. "Give me answers, because I don't understand." He began by telling me what he knew, and what I already knew about the escape and the chaos in Seattle.

"I know all about Seattle." I cut him off again. "I want to know about your role. I want to know why you weren't there to stop this. You are far too vigilant to not notice something like this happening. It happened on your watch." The emotions I'd tried suppressing temporarily were resurfacing as I reflected again on all of the damage done. "What was more important to you that it blinded you from doing your bloody job?" I was growing angry and antagonistic with him.

"That is harsh Bellamy."

"It's honest." I corrected. "Talk."

"I'll tell you what I told the Council. I…"

"No!" I shouted at him through the phone. "I don't want to know what you told the Headmistress, the Queen, or either damned Council. This is a conversation between you and me."

"Alright." I heard him relent, and this time his tone was different. He sounded shattered. He sounded as though he too was on the verge of a breakdown. Not once had I ever heard this tone of voice from Dimitri Belikov. I wondered, was I being too harsh on him? Was I asking too much? No, I decided quickly. I did not think so.

"It all happened so fast." He was finally speaking honestly. "As soon as we heard that the students were missing, we did everything we could to locate them. I did everything I could to…" He cleared his throat, a sure indication that he was struggling to hide his own emotions.

"You didn't do enough." I also needed to be honest with him. I needed to tell Dimitri how I felt.

"That's not fair."

"The man I loved was just needlessly killed. He died because Guardians were too wrapped up in their own shit."

"Bells, stop." Dimitri demanded.

We were up to not just arguing but fighting. I'd never fought with Dimitri like this, and it didn't feel good. That didn't stop me. I was making him angry by not keeping my words and opinions to myself.

"You weren't there Bellamy. You don't understand."

"You're right." I wasn't going to argue that point. "I don't understand. I'm asking you to help me understand. Tell me what I don't know. Tell me what everyone else doesn't want me to know. "Tell me the truth." Stop treating me with kid gloves. I'm not some child who can't handle the bad stuff."

"Okay." I heard in his breathing that I had set him off. His reply was full of what I guessed was defensiveness or hostility. Either way, I was fully expecting him to unleash his own harsh views. "The truth is, your friends got hurt, and Mason Ashford died because they made foolish choices. You know it and I know it."

Welcome unrestrained harshness.

"The truth of this matter is, had any one of them thought things through, we wouldn't be in this situation. We wouldn't be answering to the Guardian Court, and to the Queen. The decision made only proved the lack of judgment your friends hold." His voice grew incrementally louder. "This did not happen because Guardians were lolling about, not doing our jobs. It happened because a group of novices thought that they were smarter than anyone else."

He was mostly right. I couldn't do a lot of arguing to the points he'd made. I wasn't going to admit that out loud, and it still did not excuse the fact that a significantly large number of Guardians allowed novices and Moroi to escape a supposedly "secure facility".

"If I had been there…"

"But you weren't Bellamy." Definite hostility showing.

"I wasn't." I agreed. "And I have questioned my decision every day since leaving St. Vladimir's. If I had stayed, if I'd been there, would this have happened? Could I have prevented Mason from…"

"It wasn't going to change things Bells." Dimitri softened. "Mason was as stubborn as you." Another good point. "He was going to find a way to go. That is the harsh truth. You wanted the truth. There it is."

I wanted to start crying again. In fact, I was going to start crying again. I needed to end this repeat conversation before new tears started to fall.

"I have to go Dimitri. I have a job to do." My statement was more unforgiving, as well as an unnecessary dig at his recent lack of giving a shit. I said it anyway.

"I miss you Bells." He was so good at pulling at my heart strings. My tears were already falling, rolling over my cheeks, and falling to the floor in front of me.

"Bye." I hung up and allowed every oncoming tear to fall. I was crying, and then I was sobbing, falling to the floor, and pulling my knees to my chest, struggling to catch my breath.

I didn't want to cry again, but it was impossible to stop the flood of emotions I'd kept pushing back. I was sad, full of regret, and still unable to come to terms with Mason's death. Then I'd fought with a man I still respected more than most. Even when Aaron entered the room, I couldn't stop.

"Bellamy, what happened?" He rushed over, picking me up from the ground and circling his arms around me. "What horrible person has upset you this much?"

I immediately pulled myself together when asked questions that I did not want to answer.

"It's nothing." I kept the truth from him. "I knew that my conversation with Dimitri would be rough."

"Dimitri Belikov?" Aaron inquired. "The Guardian from St. Vladimir's?"

"I'm still so mad at him, at the Academy Guardians, and at Court Guardians. They could've done so much more."

"Bellamy baby," Aaron chuckled, holding me, "it doesn't work like that. You can't blame the Guardians for what happened."

"Why not?" I glossed over the fact that he'd called me 'baby', pulling away a few inches.

"It's not Guardians leading the raids on royal families. It's Strigoi. Keep focused on the real enemy." Aaron stated far too logically for my liking. "If Guardians hadn't been there the night my family was attacked, things would've been much worse." He pointed out and I wholeheartedly agreed. "Sometimes Guardians can't be everywhere at once." His comment sank in and made sense. "Don't blame Guardian Belikov. I've seen his dedication firsthand. I'm sure he did all he could, and all that was in his power to do."

I compared what Aaron said to the things that Dimitri had stated. Damn I hated being wrong. I was still upset, but I needed to apologize to my friend. I needed to correct my own mistakes. I'd said things to Dimitri that I shouldn't have. What happened wasn't his fault, and it was unfair of me to blame him. Unfortunately, he was not answering my calls. I hung up my phone and set it to the side after my fifth message to Dimitri.

"Bridgette and you mum are back tomorrow." I mentioned again. "We will stay here until then. I want to be sure Tasha is gone before I take you back."

Aaron hummed again before questioning me. "Will you stay, or will you go?" He asked me, referring to the end of my time in Switzerland, and this time I was not sure how to answer his question.

"I don't know."

"What if I said I don't want you to leave? I like having you as a Guardian."

I was almost gutted to hear him say something like this, and I found myself wanting to stay near him as much as he wanted me to. Aaron and I stayed held together, one hour passing, then a second. I worried briefly, hearing and feeling his breathing slow. His heartbeat slower against me. I turned my head to see the Moroi fast asleep. For the first time in a long period of time, he was properly sleeping. His arm stayed wrapped around my shoulders, holding me close. I leaned back , feeling his head rest against me, soon feeling my own body tiring. My eyes started to close minutes later, letting my guard down for the first time in days.

When I woke, Aaron was in the same spot. The clouds outside still covered the sky in dark grays, snow covered the ground, continuing to fall, but evening was creeping in again. I shifted my body, hearing Aaron make a sound on my right.

He sat straight up, his arm dropping away from me. "Oh my God." He spoke, sleep straining his voice. "Did I sleep that long?"

"Yes." I twisted to face him. "We both did." I stood, stretching my body.

"I haven't slept like that in…since the attacks." He was full of surprise. "I didn't have any nightmares."

"I noticed." I moved to check my phone, hoping to see a call back from Dimitri. Nothing.

"So," Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aaron watching me, analyzing my own behavior and my actions, "at some point we will talk about you, right?" He questioned in a non-challenging way. "Can we talk about why you made the choice not to be a Guardian? I'm tired of talking about me." He sighed, leaning back into the couch again. "I'm so boring."

"Hardly."

"Why are you really here?"

So, he wanted to play psychiatrist. I laughed a bit, not seeing the harm in this game.

"You obviously have a stellar reputation already. Otherwise the Councils would not have promoted you so soon." Aaron surmised. "My mother never would've agreed to this arrangement if she did not believe you are as good as others believe you to be."

I smiled at him as he continued his attempt at analyzing my current circumstances.

"To be fair, I'm not here because of your mother's faith in me. I'm here because of Bridgette. Three –quarters of the royal families, including Tatiana Ivashkov, have petitioned to employ Bridgette Pearce as a head Guardian if and when she ever decides to give up being a field operative Council member. Your family is especially keen to contract my aunt." I mentioned as politely as I could. "I am nothing more than a pawn in royal politics to your mother."

"I don't think that is true." Aaron disagreed with me.

"Then you are more blinded than you think."

He had the same look on his face again as he grew reflective of what I said. His thumb and index finger rested to his chin, elbow holding him up. I knew what the next question on his mind would be.

"And you?" He wanted this answer. In fact he sounded very similar to the psychiatrist that Bridgette made me see before requesting I come to Switzerland. "You are certain that there is no royal family that you could see yourself protecting? Is there anything, or anyone who might change your mind?"

"No." I replied. "As I have said, I do not think that I can live my life waiting to watch others around me die. I don't want to be the person responsible for the deaths of others."

"That's bullshit, Bellamy." He called me out. "You cannot let the death of someone who knowingly did something stupid stop you from being what you are meant to be." He reminded me of what Dimitri said to me. "You are too good a fighter to give up on us. You are too good a person to let one setback bring you to this point."

We both stayed silent for the next few seconds. I stood up, growing uncomfortable with the conversation focused on me.

"You mum and Bridgette are expected early tomorrow evening." I changed the subject again. "Until then…"

"Can we stay here awhile longer?" He looked relaxed in my cabin. "It's comfortable here. I don't feel cornered or claustrophobic." Before I could protest, he had my hand in his, pulling me back down to sit with him.

Awhile turned to hours, and as night came we ordered food, continuing to talk. At one point, Aaron had me laughing to the point of tears. He and I had more in common than I had ever assumed ; more than I'd ever thought to assume. Aaron's mood shifted as I took notice of the color once again changing in the skies outside.

"It's almost dawn.' I pointed out. "We literally talked all night long."

"I like talking to you." He said to me, genuine feeling to his words.

I smiled at him. "I like talking to you too."

"If you had told me six months ago, even three months ago, that you and I would be sitting here having an interesting and necessary conversation, I would've laughed the idea off."

"I guess life is not always what we expect it to be. Sometimes tragedy steps in to crumble the facades around us."

Aaron shrugged. "The point is, I'm glad you are here. I'm glad it's you guarding me."

"I'm glad too, Aaron."

We walked together out of the cabin, making our way back to the main building. So long as any potential danger had disappeared, I felt more at ease returning Aaron to his own space. Plus, I felt better knowing that Bridgette would return soon enough as well.

"Good night Aaron." I said, reaching his suite, sensing disappointment from him.

"You won't stay?" He offered me entrance to the room.

"I won't be far from you." I reassured him, Right out here." I stayed in the large living room.

"Okay Bellamy." He slowly leaned down and kissed my cheek, touching his hand to mine. I was not expecting the strange comfort that reached me. I didn't pull away, but gave a small hum. It was an unpredicted reaction to us both.

"There is a low key numb feeling I am experiencing right now." I explained. "I'm taking in the moment. You kissed me and for those few seconds, I didn't thinking about all of the chaos in my emotions that I haven't been able to shake off."

I hadn't closed my eyes for a full minute when I felt his lips touch to mine.

"Aaron!" I jumped back, placing my hand between us.

"I'm sorry." He immediately moved to apology mode, my shock throwing him back into a panic. "God, I'm so sorry. I misread the situation. I am a terrible judge at reading women." His eyes would no longer meet mine. "If you want to leave, I would completely understand."

I moved my hand to his arm, trying to get him to look back at me. I stepped in closer.

"Why would I go?" I pulled myself together swiftly, doing as much damage control as I could before Aaron fell into another panic attack.

"Because, I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have just assumed…"

""True." I did not disagree. "But, I'm not an easy person to read." Finally his eyes settled on mine again. "I'm not going anywhere." I assured him. "I'm your Guardian." He smiled and nodded. "Perhaps, you would know better what I do want, if you knew better what you want." I was reading the words in his sudden apology. "It's actually very simple."

"Is it?" He was not convinced of my logic.

I stepped back again, moving back into the spacious living area. "What do you want?

He stayed quiet, keeping his position across the room near his room.

"What do you want from a woman?" I clarified. "What is the first thing you want in a potential partner?"

He shrugged. "Are you talking about looks and personality?"

"No." I watched him become intrigued by my question now. "Forget about all of that for a minute. What is the first thing you think of when you meet someone you are interested in?"

"Do they like me for me?" He stated, and I could absolutely understand what he meant. "I always question why. And I ask myself' what does this person want from me?'" He sat with me.

I couldn't help but grin. "You are so innocent." I was not trying to insult him.

"I'm not that innocent Bellamy."

"You may be the most innocent person I know. Please don't be offended. I find it endearing."

"In that case…"

We both gave a laugh.

"Can I ask you a question?" Aaron returned, and I was willing to answer. "How many relationships have you been in, and which was the best?"

"That's two questions." I returned, but still answered both questions as truthfully and as best as I could. "I've only been in three real relationships. Liam back in Ireland, Mason and Christian at St. Vladimir's. My best relationship was with Mason, but what I had with Christian was unpredictable in some of the best ways. Our relationship was blood, fire, and wild desire all in one."

Aaron didn't say anything at first, but thought about what I had said. "And, what did each of them say after those relationships ended?"

It was my turn to go silent for a bit, recalling these moments in my life.

"Liam was angry. I didn't care about what he said or did. I found out that he was with me, looking to spy on me and feed information to Guardian Council members.'

Aaron looked sympathetic but I brushed the look off.

"Mason ended our relationship just before he died." I swallowed hard and felt a hand rest over mine. A comforting feeling. "He ended things so that he could date someone else. Christian hit me harder though." I said, and it was the god's honest truth. "I broke up with him shortly after leaving St. Vladimir's. And he said that 'he will always care for me'. It was a slap in the face. He was still so nice."

"Well, you are lucky." He came back. "My exes were not as kind as Mason or Christian. Lissa left without a word the first time. She ran off one day and disappeared." He was referring to the incredible and long escape Vasalisa Dragomir made with her Dhampir friend before both were eventually found and returned to St. Vladimir's. "The second time she broke up with me was worse. She actually looked me in the eye that time."

"Harsh."

He smirked. "Mia was next. Hell hath no fury. When we broke up, she shouted in public and told me that she could do better. This was after I found out that she was shagging Jesse."

"I thought those two seemed unusually close."

"Worst was Camille." Aaron went on, trying not to recognize my last observation. "What is it with you women knowing exactly how to humiliate us after break-up's?"

"Please don't group me in with Mia Rinaldi or Camille Conta." I insisted.

"Sorry. Maybe you haven't purposely humiliated a guy."

"I'm not saying that."

"Camille held semi public forums around the Academy, telling anyone who would listen that I am the worst she's ever been with in bed."

"Bad at sex?" I confirmed, receiving a slight nod. "Well, even if that were true, it doesn't matter."

Again he shot me a look of skepticism, this time mixed with disdain and insult. "Hear me out."

"I'm listening."

"What do all three of those women have in common?" I asked him the not so obvious question.

"Besides enjoying my heartbreak and humiliation?"

"Besides being lucky to be with a good guy in the first place." I attempted to heal the clear trouble the subject caused him.

He smiled. "Thanks for that. What do they have in common?" He challenged me to answer.

I had to carefully consider the words I used, wary to damage his already fragile sense of being.

"They lost you."

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

"Why did you break up with Camille?"

"I guess I wasn't happy." He said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Why weren't you happy?"

He thought about the answer. "You are a little too good at digging Bellamy." He avoided the answer to my question.

He was not wrong though. I could pry into people's lives and sensitive subject matter with little regard to their wanting to talk or not.

"I just see what I see, and I want to know why I see it."

"What do you see?"

I smiled at him now. "I see you. You're right. Perhaps you are not as innocent as I first thought, but trauma will do that to a person. It takes our innocence from us."

He agreed without hesitation.

"Wait." Aaron furrowed his brow. "You used the word blood when referring to your relationship with Christian."

I was hoping he would either forget I'd used that word, or that he had missed it all together.

"Did you two…"

"Once." I knew what he was going to ask me. "And it is not something that I will do again. I was curious, and now I'm not." I was honest with him about the fact that I had let Chris bite me.

Bridgette and Larisa returned to the hotel a short time later, pulling up in the standard blacked-out SUV. Both were eager to see Aaron and any potential changes in his demeanor. I shouldn't have been surprised when Bridgette stopped me, pulling me to one side of the lobby, asking for a full account of my time here thus far. She looked exhausted and drained. I could only guess that it was from dealing with Guardians and Moroi from both Courts.

"So, how was your trip to Court? Are there going to changes made so that what happened in Seattle doesn't happen again?"

Bridgette rolled her eyes.

"Do the Drozdov's have new Guardians?"

"They have been given two new Guardians for the time being. They will both be arriving shortly. I will stay on with Larisa and Lucca Drozdov for the next two weeks until both Guardians are up to speed."

"Good." I was glad to hear that the family would have any amount of protection. "So, I am still free to leave in a few days?"

"Bells." Her voice changed and I knew what was coming. She was going to throw the same argument at me.

"Bridge, I don't want to discuss this anymore. I…"

"You need more time to think." She was offering. "You need time to consider this before making this sort of life-altering decisions Bellamy."

"No I don't. Please don't try to convince me otherwise."

"Okay." I was not anticipating such a quick surrender from Bridgette Pearce. "I have something for you." Out of her jacket pocket, she pulled out an envelope. "It's a letter."

"From whom?"

"From your friend." Eddie Castile."

She was holding a letter from Eddie, addressed to me. I was at a loss of how to react. Did Eddie know where I was? Had he been at Court to give Bridgette a letter? It wasn't possible.

"Eddie gave you this?"

"No." Bridgette sounded as though she might laugh at the possibility of that happening. "Dimitri Belikov gave me the letter. He knew he couldn't give it to you directly, so he handed it off to me." Her eyes lowered. "He is still very concerned about you Bellamy."

"Did you two do a lot of talking at Court?"

Bridgette rolled her eyes again. "We talked entirely too much. The two of us being in such close proximity is still very painful. We talked and still resolved nothing. He is very stuck in his opinions."

"So are you." I mentioned with a hint of sarcasm and seriousness.

"And that will always be our biggest problem."

I could not argue that.

"Tell me about Aaron. How is that going?" She changed the subject before I could go on questioning her about her journey.

I crossed my arms, preparing to provide as much information as I could without betraying Aaron's trust and confidentiality. "It will be a long road ahead. He's gone through something difficult that cannot be recovered from so easily. Moroi don't see Strigoi every day. There is no quick-fix Bridge. He's talked more than I expected him to in these last several days. He has ventured out of his room, showered, and I got him to eat."

Bridgette looked pleased.

"I decided I should hide him in the Guardian cabin for the last twelve hours until Natasha left."

"Tasha is not gone." She informed me with no love loss.

"She gave an unsolicited and unnecessary opinion about me to Aaron. Fortunately, Aaron does not feel the same as Natasha."

Bridgette and I discussed Aaron's very small progress awhile longer until our Moroi were in need of us.

AARON

By the time my mother and Bellamy's aunt returned to Switzerland, I was starting to feel more like myself. It was astounding what one person could do by simply having a conversation. I knew that in the coming days Bellamy would find a way to discuss the attacks and what it was doing to me, but her presence so far was doing wonders for me. I was no longer afraid to close my eyes. The nightmares weren't gone by any means, but I was learning to control them with her help. Knowing that there was someone else that I could talk about these things with was starting to help me. Bellamy already had multiple Strigoi kills tallied, so she was fully aware of the mayhem even one Strigoi could cause. She had seen the same bloody images repeated in her sleep. I enjoyed having her near me, but wanting her near and having her near were two separate things. Really, I knew that there was only one way to guarantee her staying near me, and it was not going to be an easy or quiet fight. Bellamy was adamant about giving up being a Guardian when she left Switzerland. I needed to find a way of convincing her not to quit the thing she had been working so hard to achieve all of these years. Before I approached Bellamy however, I would need to have a serious conversation with my mother and Bridgette Pearce.

Bridgette and my mother offered a few moments to me, and I could feel by her exhausted expression as I entered, that Larisa Drozdov was not going to accept my request easily. As I entered the office my mother used in her suite, I passed by one of the new guards given to my family. He'd arrived only hours ago, but already I could see that he was nothing like Bellamy. I secretly wondered if Bellamy could take him, and the thought made me smile.

"I haven't seen you smile like that in weeks." My mother noticed as soon as she saw me. "I have missed your smile." She rushed over to put her arms around me, kissing my cheek, introducing me then to Dominic Hartley, one of the new Guardians we had received. She then promptly dismissed him from the room.

"I assume that your time with Bellamy Pearce has been productive?" My mother started the conversation, sitting beside Bridgette as I stretched out on a chaise.

"My time with the other Guardian Pearce has been well spent."

My mother gave her best fake smile, hoping to bypass the conversation about Bellamy being or not being a Guardian at current.

"Has she talked to you?" Bridgette asked me about her niece. "Has she talked about Mason Ashford or about his death? You don't need to provide details." She wanted to know.

"I'm just…"

"Concerned?"

Bridgette nodded.

"Mostly we have talked about me. A few times she let me in, and she mentioned Mason, but she has not specifically discussed his death or what it has done to her."

"You see it to?" Bridgette noted that I had noticed Bellamy's change.

"She is destroyed by his death. She isn't the same person she was at St. Vladimir's." I paused, watching both women agree with what I thought and witnessed. "She has also mentioned Dimitri Belikov."

"Yes." Bridgette said. "That is going to need settling too."

"She called him."

"I know."

"It did not go well." I pointed out the contention Bellamy still felt towards most Guardians, including Belikov.

Bridgette only frowned. "I know."

"As it happens, this time spent with Bellamy has made me consider my own future more. I am going to need a Guardian of my own soon, and I am going to ask Bellamy to be my Guardian permanently after graduation."

This pleased Bridgette briefly, but her hopefulness quickly turned to what I believe looked like grief. "Bellamy has made the unfortunate decision to walk away from being a Guardian when she leaves Switzerland."

I nodded my head in agreement. "Convincing her will be a hard sell, but I am hoping that if I plead my case well enough, she might consider staying for me."

"Her?" My mother chimed in with her opinion. "Really?"

"Yes. And, there is something I will need before I ask."

The conversation between the three of us went on for another forty minutes, until I was ultimately able to convince the two that I knew what I was doing. Sure Bellamy had sworn to quit being a Guardian after this week, but maybe, just maybe she would stay for me.

"There is a function this evening that I would like you to attend for a short time if you are ready." My mother pressed, as if coming out of my room meant that I was fully prepared to rejoin the world and its horrors.

"If you decide that you are ready to attend tonight, you should bring Bellamy as your Guardian. She may be a help to you if the festivities prove to be too much." Bridgette then advised.

"I will mention it to her."

The idea of attending a crowded Moroi function was intimidating, and an overwhelming thought, but if I had Bellamy to lean on, perhaps I could get through the night without much trouble. I could also prove what an asset she was to me.

BELLAMY

We were picked up just after dusk, chauffeured in a very expensive car from the Survetta, driven to Dal Mulin. Aaron and I were expected to make an appearance at the European style restaurant just within the borders of the sleepy ski lodge town. The party or "function" as it was being called was small scaled in comparison to most that I had seen. But this night was not officially sanctioned by the Court. Besides Aaron and I, there were only fifteen other people, not including Bridgette and Larisa, who had yet to walk in. At first look, I counted exactly four other Guardians inside of the private establishment. There were likely more Guardians outside, but I did not assume. I took position near one of the doors, watching Aaron do his best to mingle and finally speak to other royals after so many weeks in hiding.

As duty required, I moved around the perimeter of the room, discreetly studying each exit, making a 'just in case' plan, all while keeping a close eye on Aaron. I returned to my post to see the royal suddenly surrounded by four royal girls, similar in age to us. He didn't look overwhelmed, but I spied the discomfort written on his face a few times. I feared that his recent memories and nightmares might be triggered if one of the girls dared to mention those recent attacks. I made ready to jump in and save Aaron if need be, but as the evening progressed, I let down my guard as much as I could manage. The girls whom Aaron had befriended whether willingly or unwillingly often made their way through the somewhat crowded gathering, but they always returned to wherever Aaron seemed to be. There were times as I kept watch, when he looked helpless and cornered, and then times when I swear he was flirting. It was an interesting show at times.

I got a break from it all as Bridgette walked up beside me, keeping her voice hushed.

"I received a call from Kenley Price." She referred to a member of the Guardian Council and High Court.

I gave a slight nod. "Any news on security upgrades or more Guardians for the Drozdov family?"

"No." Bridgette said, the sound of disappointment clear in her tone. "Kenley was calling about you." I turned to face her, fearing what might be said next. "The Council would like you to…" Her sentence and request went unsaid as I felt someone come to stand behind me.

I spun around. "Aaron." He had taken a break from the scene. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Not especially." He extended his hand to me. "Dance with me, Bellamy."

I gave a quick refusal. "I am here to guard you. Not dance with you."

"You can multitask." He fought my rejection. "Besides, technically, you have decided to no longer be a Guardian. One dance."

I heard Bridgette sigh, likely from hearing Aaron use my non-Guardian status against me. Saying the words and hearing them from others only made it more real.

"One dance." I agreed, suddenly very aware of Bridgette's exasperation, and wanting very much to escape it

Aaron took my hand, leading me to the middle of the dance floor.

"Everyone is staring." I I noticed, but he said nothing.

One palm touched to my lower back, bringing me closer while the other stayed clasped with mine. As he kept me close, holding me against him, I could feel his breath run across my neck. I could hear him low in my ear. It was strangely reassuring. It made me feel better for a few brief seconds. It also scared me. It terrified me to my core, panicking me.

I pulled back, looking into his eyes, searching for reason. "Aaron, why dance with me? " I questioned him. "You are surrounded by beautiful girls this evening. Any one of them would be overjoyed to be here in my place."

He grinned slowly. "Remember our conversation. You asked me what I want." I recalled the conversation we'd had. "Well, I need to take a deep breath. I want to dance with someone I actually like, someone I get along with." He explained as best he could. "I want just a few minutes in the presence of someone who doesn't have an agenda. You don't want anything from me. Do you?"

"No. I don't want anything from you." What more could I say?

We danced through the entire song, pressed close together, silently enjoying each other's company. Once the slow ballad came to its end, so did our hold. I backed away, letting my hands drop back to my sides.

As I stood back, Aaron's eyes shifted around the room, searching and anticipating danger. I saw those around us wondering what the young royal might do next. He looked fragile again, the lighting in the room suddenly illuminating his features, showing the struggles he quietly dealt with.

"Bells," He said my name, reaching for me again, "I need to get out of here. I need to go outside."

I worried as he spoke, hearing his extreme uneasiness resurfacing.

"Okay." I agreed. "We can step outside for a few minutes." I offered, letting Bridgette know that we would not be far.

Once outside of the restaurant, in the frigid temperature of Switzerland in winter, Aaron and I sat.

"Are you alright?" I got up the courage to ask him after several minutes.

"Yes."

I was not wholly convinced. "Are you sure?" I placed my hand close to his, feeling warmth radiating from him. "Aaron, we can leave if you'd like. I think you have fulfilled your obligation for the evening."

"Can we hide out in your cabin for the rest of the night?" He sounded so hopeful that I could not refuse.

After informing Bridgette of my plan to escort Aaron back to the hotel, she informed Larisa. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Larisa watching as I took Aaron away from the crowd indoors. I even thought I saw her smile. She looked pleased for a change, and it made me feel good. Aaron and I were in the same car, being driven back to my cabin before others could notice our abrupt disappearing act. The ride back was silent. Aaron stared out of the window, staring into the night. Once arrived, the car parked a few feet from the front door of my cabin. As I unlocked it, I felt Aaron starting to crumble again. He took my hand and we entered into our combined isolation.

"I had to get out of there." Aaron finally started speaking again as I closed and locked the door, doing my usual safety and perimeter checks of the place.

"I understand." I led him to the open area, sitting beside him on the couch. The fire was going, so I did not feel the need to readjust it.

We sat together for a bit longer, holding hands still, and watching the fire as it crackled and burned.

"You were there for me the whole time. Tonight was easy because you were with me."

I heard myself scoff. "You seemed to be doing just fine on your own." I couldn't keep the tone in my voice as neutral as I'd hoped to. "A night surrounded by girls falling on your every word." Why did I sound so suspicious?

He laughed. Did I sound as if I cared more than I should? Probably.

"That was my cousin Sophie. She and a few friends are visiting from St. Solomon's."

"Oh." I definitely sounded as though I cared far too much.

"Is it just me," Aaron joked, "or do you sound a little jealous?"

"I'm most definitely not jealous." Suspicious maybe, but jealous I was not.

"Oh." The joking tone he used turned to let down. He relaxed after several more minutes, his nerves finally settling.

"You didn't eat anything at the restaurant." I had noticed. "Dal Mulin is known for its amazing food. The chef is extraordinarily talented." With all of the food set out, Aaron had not touched a single thing. "Are you hungry? Should we order in? When was the last time you fed? There is blood downstairs in the refrigerators."

"I'm fine Bellamy." His eyes were closed and his head was leaned comfortably onto the couch. "Order in if you like."

News of Seattle and the mistakes made had now reached the European Continent. Switzerland in particular. It was all anyone could talk about in the main lobby of the hotel when I made my way through the room to check in with Bastien. Royals and novices being harmed and even killed was almost unthinkable to most, so the topic was certainly heated at times. Opinions and tempers were running high. With Aaron still resting in my cabin, I took the time to breathe. Bastien made sure not to question me personally about Seattle, and the students involved. I worried that he had already been informed of my own tragedy, or how close I was to most of the students. He offered to send tea and cookies to my cabin with a smile.

Once alone, I pulled out my phone one more time, hoping to get better results. Sitting in an empty part of the lobby, still listening to Moroi talk amongst themselves, I dialed the same number again. I got his voicemail.

"I don't know what it is like on your end, but over here there is so much commotion and confusion. Moroi and even the Guardians here are discussing the possibilities of Dhampir needing more training after graduation. It's an interesting idea. They are also fighting about royals being caught up in the field. Damn Christian." I kept my voice light and friendly still, urging him to call. "I have my own opinions on that matter, but I was hoping to hear your views as well." I wanted him to call. I wanted to apologize to him for my atrocious behavior in our last call. "I know that we may not be on the best of terms right now Dimitri, but please call. I know that you are concerned." I said goodbye and hung up, hoping to hear my phone ring immediately.

"Don't be discouraged." I heard Bridgette say from beside me as she walked up. "Aaron mentioned that you called and talked to Dimitri."

"I did."

"He also mentioned that it did not go well."

"It did not. I acted like a child. I told him he didn't do enough in Seattle." I stood, facing her. "He must be very upset if he hasn't called me back yet."

"She shook her head. "He has a lot on his plate right now. He has been very busy. He will call Bells. Give him time."

"I was not very polite or understanding during our last conversation, Bridge." I admitted, but she did not seem too concerned.

"You may not be understanding, but Dimitri Belikov is always understanding when it comes to you. I am certain he knows what Mason's death has done to you."

Nope. Not a subject I wanted to discuss.

"You look tired." She changed the subject.

"You trained me yourself." I made a point. "So, I can go without sleep for nearly forty hours before I crash."

Bridgette looked proud, knowing that I had passed all of her tests in Hungary. I had gone without sleep, and stayed on my game while tracking and hunting Strigoi.

"Aaron is finally resting. I took a few minutes to call Dimitri again, but maybe I will go and try to catch up on a few spare hours of sleep."

I turned but stopped as my aunt made a sound of uncertainty. "Before you go Bells, are you alright?"

I was pretty sure of what subject she was poking at this time. "It seems that you haven't spent much time grieving yet. Mason…" She apprehensively said his name.

"Bridge, I'm fine. Really. I'm not ready to face this, or ready to grieve him yet. I need more time."

"Understood. But Bells, Kenley contacted me." She mentioned cautiously. "The Council would like you to return to Court when your time here in Switzerland is finished. They want you to…"

"What do they want from me this time? Blood? Sweat? Tears? They've taken all of those from me."

"Bellamy, have a seat."

I crossed my arms and leaned back defensively. The Council wanted something from me, and Bridgette was in on their plans again. "I will stand. What do they want from me?"

"They are going to ask that you attend the funeral of Mason Ashford."

I blanched, unsure of what to say to Bridgette or the Council. "No." I insisted. I was not ready to start my own grieving process for Mason, let alone have it staring me in the face. Not to mention that Mason's family was allowing his funeral to be held at the Academy. I would have to face Christian, his new girlfriend, Dimitri and the other Academy Guardians, and I would have to face Eddie Castile. I was not ready to see Eddie without others around to keep me from taking a swing at my friend.

"No." I repeated. "I can't do that."

"They still want to talk to you at the end of the week Bells. I am sending you back to Court."

"I should check in on Aaron." I needed to get away from this conversation as quickly as possible.

I returned to the Guardian cabin a few minutes later, walking inside to see Aaron still relaxed and comfortably resting on the couch where I'd left him. I walked across the room, over to the granite topped bar. I stood still my hands gripping the sides of the structure, threatening to crumble the marble into dust as it cracked under my fingertips. I could feel my entire body starting to shake all of a sudden. It rippled through me, spreading everywhere. I could feel fear, regret, and mourning overwhelming me. All of my emotions were spiraling out of control and I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to explode in this very spot. I was not focused on anything in particular, continuing to feel myself spiral after my very short conversation with Bridgette. My mind was not focused on anything around me.

"You're back." I vaguely heard a soft voice say from behind me. "Where did you go?"

"I was talking to Bridgette in the lobby." I recognized Aaron talking to me. I held my voice from shaking, but could not stop the rest of me from continuing to shake uncontrollably.

A pair of hands took hold of my arms, trying to pull me away from the bar. I couldn't move. My feet and hands were glued to this spot, but without any warning, Aaron let go of my arms.

"Bellamy!" He shouted at me, but it didn't register as shouting. Was he experiencing fear? Having some sort of regression moment of his own? I still could not force myself to focus on him. "You're on fire." His voice was sounding warped and mumbled.

Did he say that I was on fire? Was I? I looked at my arms. "Huh." I said. "I am on fire." My voice squeaked, not realizing that I had just made a huge mistake in judgement.

"Bellamy, you're on fire!" Aaron repeated, his voice coming in more clear as I snapped out of my short daze.

"Oh fuck!" I fought for control of my emotions. I needed to get a grip on myself. I was currently on fire, and Aaron was going to ask questions. I could not avoid this problem. I moved the fire from my arms into my palms, rolling it into a ball before extinguishing it completely. Aaron looked horrified. He looked awestruck and intrigued.

"I'm sorry." I said, turning to face him. "When I lose control of my emotions, I sometimes…"

"Randomly catch fire?" There was no hint of sarcasm to his question.

"Can you honestly tell me that you don't sometimes still lose control of your magic?"

"Sure." He agreed to the point. "But, I'm Moroi. I'm supposed to have magic. You're Dhampir."

"Yes I am. But I am a Dhampir with Moroi magic. "

"I don't understand. It's impossible."

"That's me." I answered him. "Pretty, deadly, and impossible."

A few deep breaths, eyes still wide, and more moments of consideration, Aaron reflected on what he had seen, experienced, and he extended his hand to me.

"We should talk. Who else knows about this?"

"Bridgette, Dimitri Belikov, other Guardians at St. Vladimir's, Mason knew, and Christian knows."

"That's it?"

I grimaced. "The Guardian Council knows."

"The Queen doesn't know."

"No!" I almost shouted, my fear showing. "No she doesn't know, and she won't. She would…"

"She would use you to her advantage if she knew." Aaron was more aware of the problem that I realized. He saw the danger, the liability, and the use for me in the wrong set of hands.

We sat down together and talked for hours longer. Again, it was nice talking to him. Aaron asked many questions, and I answered as many of them as I could. By the end, we were both exhausted.

"Can I ask one more question." Aaron sounded uncomfortable again.

"Anything."

"You have mentioned your relationship with Christian Ozera a few times. You indicated that there was a difference between that relationship and the one you shared with Mason Ashford."

All of a sudden I regretted agreeing to answer any question Aaron might pose. "What is your question Aaron?"

"Well, you also said that your relationship with Christian was full of fire and bllod."

Yes, I was definitely going to regret my promise to answer him.

"I am wondering if you ever… I mean," He hesitated to ask his question, "did Ozera ever… Did you ever let him…" He sighed in frustration, trying to tactfully ask me.

"Are you trying to ask if Christian ever bit me?" I wasn't so tactful.

Aaron nodded, and so did I, answering his question honestly.

"Once. I was curious."

"And?"

"And now I will no longer be curious about that. The sight and smell of blood makes me nauseous. The sight and smell of my own blood freaks me out."

He accepted my response and moved on quick enough, hopefully unwilling to revisit the subject ever again.

"Why don't we have dinner in town tonight. Just you and me. We can get away from this place for a little while." Aaron suggested. I didn't see the harm in a quiet dinner with him, so I agreed.

AARON

We agreed to leave at eight later that night, giving us the day to relax. It also gave Bellamy the opportunity to get a few hours of exercise. I figured she was going to go stir crazy soon enough. It also gave me the short span of time to slip away and get in a short conversation with the other Guardian Pearce. I looked for Bridgette everywhere within the hotel, and it took me some time to locate her. I happened upon her in the midst of her training the two new Guardians joining my family ranks. It was a somewhat violent yet inspiring sight to see Bridgette Pearce in the training rings. She moved fast, she was quick on her feet, and she could strike a serious blow with her fists.

Back at St. Vladimir's, there had been a rumor or two circling that Bellamy had singlehandedly fought off four Guardians at once during one of her novice training exercises. At the time, I'd heard the rumor, but shrugged it off as nothing more than academy gossip. I thought back to that moment as I watched Bridgette Perace fighting, and it became clear that if Bellamy had spent any amount of time training with her aunt, the rumors were more likely to be truth.

Bridgette didn't notice me standing in the wings of the Guardian gym until I coughed. She turned to me, guiding the two Guardians to spar with each other, before stretching her fingers and pulling off the wraps around her hands. She made her way over to where I stood, allowing me to enter the training facility. As I approached her, I immediately took notice of the concern crossing her face.

"Aaron, where is Bellamy?"

"She went for a run. " I said. "She won't be gone long, so I don't have a lot of time. I need to talk to you about her."

"Okay." Bridgette was not too happy about my purposely sneaking away from Bellamy, but neither did she address it. "Let's sit." She offered me a chair closest to the entrance. "Is Bellamy alright?"

"No." I shook my head back and forth. Bridgette sat down beside me. "Guardian Pearce, please don't make Bellamy attend Mason Ashford's funeral."

"Aaron, I…"

"No, you don't understand." I hesitated to tell her about Bellamy's extreme moment of anxiety back in her cabin. "Please don't make her go. She can't handle that yet."

"It's sweet that you are so affected by her, but Bellamy is capable of handling much more than you give her credit for."

My tone shifted, and I was now pleading with the Guardian sat beside me.

"I don't doubt that. But not this." I still insisted. "She cannot handle his funeral."

Bridgette twisted her face up. Did she think that I was making a bigger deal of this than it was?

"The decision has already been made. It is out of my hands."

I couldn't let this go. For Bellamy's sake, and for her state of mind, I could not let this issue drop. "She caught fire." I stated, looking down at the ground. I kept my eyes on the floor, feeling as if I were ratting Bellamy out to her parents. I felt awful. I felt sickened.

"She caught what on fire?"

Well, I had gained her attention.

"Herself. Her arms. It was fire. I felt it." I was doing a rough job at explaining what I had seen. "What I mean to say is, she accidentally caught fire. She didn't mean to use her magic." I mentioned that I was now aware of Bellamy's secret gift. "Emotions make the elemental magic more unstable."

"I know." Bridgette commented. "Before she knew what it was, this would happen when her emotions ran high." She was in deep thought as I spoke. "Tell me exactly what happened."

"When she returned to her cabin earlier, she was having a full blown panic attack. I assume it was caused by the demand that she go to the funeral. Her arms lit up with flames, and she was able to extinguish them in her hands like it was nothing."

"I'm sure that must have frightened you." Bridgette reassured, but I didn't want to respond to that.

"She talked." I mentioned to her instead. "Bellamy finally gave up a shred of information regarding how badly she is internally handling all that she is going through.." I knew that Bridgette was concerned for her niece, and everything that Bellamy had to accept and deal with. "She touched on Christian Ozera, Dimitri Belikov seems to be a sore subject with her, and she may or may not punch Eddie Castile in the face if she sees him. Facing all of this is having a serious effect on her. If she goes to that funeral now, she is going to have a mental breakdown."

In an instant, I saw the same look of concern return to Bridgette's face.

"I will speak with her." She assured me. "Thank you for coming to me Aaron."

I gave a nod, still feeling as though I may or may not have done the right thing. "I'm taking her to dinner tonight." I also felt the need to mention this. "It might do us both some good to get away for an hour or two."

Bridgette agreed. I didn't know if I should tell her that I planned on asking Bellamy my biggest question. I didn't want to get either of our hopes up yet. I left the training facility in a hurry to beat Bellamy to her cabin. I didn't want her to know that I'd snuck out to talk to her aunt.

I ran through the hotel entrance, through the tunnel connecting the cabin. I arrived just minutes before Bellamy, greeting her from the lounge chair as she entered through the front door. She was still breathing hard from her run, and she looked even more exhausted than before.

"Come and sit. You look like you need the rest."

Bellamy walked over and fell onto the couch. She was asleep in minutes while I too got in an hour or two of much needed rest. The sight of blood spilling on the floor woke me. I could not watch the scenes in my head again. Nor could I expel them completely. Bellamy was still asleep when I woke. I watched her, seeing all of the trouble, fear, and anxiety erased from her face while she slept. She was beauty, death, and chaos all in one. How could someone so sweet and in tune with me also be one of the deadliest people in my world? I touched my fingers to her face and she stirred. Her eyes opened and I felt struck by more than her beauty.

BELLAMY

I woke to a hand, gently caressing my face. My eyes opened to see Aaron, barely a foot from me. I had fallen asleep for hours, and wondered how long he had been watching me. He was sat on the floor beside the couch, staring at me in the most pleasing manner. I might've found his behavior strange, if he himself were not so terribly endearing.

"Hi." He said in a low soft voice.

"How long did I sleep?" I stretched out.

"Not long. A few much needed hours. " Aaron returned. "I didn't mean to wake you. You look so peaceful when you sleep."

I looked over to the clock on the wall. Five o'clock. "We should both be up anyway." I brushed off his compliment. "We have dinner reservations at eight."

"Right." I could've sworn I heard a hint of disappointment, but it disappeared in an instant.

Dinner alone with Aaron was nothing short of spectacular. He had rented out a small establishment in town, giving us hours to talk, laugh, and eat together. There were violins playing in the background, a soft candlelight atmosphere, and a wait staff catering only to the two of us. After two and a half hours, we were three courses in, and on to dessert. It was something wonderfully Swiss and covered in chocolate. I was having a remarkable evening with Aaron. He had turned out to be a surprising person.

"Bellamy, I have an ulterior motive for asking you to dinner tonight." Aaron soon confessed to me, making me apprehensive . "I have a question that I would like to ask you."

"If this is about Christian again…" I approached, but he stopped me. I was in no shape to continue the conversation of Cristian, or my blood.

"It's not. I swear. What you and he did in the privacy of your relationship is your business."

A wistful and somewhat captivated look then washed across Aaron's face. His features were far more intense and clear in the light around us. He smiled.

"I wish more than anything that I had taken the chance to get to know you better when we were both still at St. Vladimir's." He expressed his regret in not gaining my friendship until now. "Bellamy, you are without a doubt the most amazing person I've met in I don't know how long. You're not like other people. You are strong, you're wise beyond your years, and you fight for what is right. And most f all, you don't put up with my shit."

"Well, you are not so hard to deal with once you let people in." I replied sweetly.

Aaron reached across the table, placing his hand over mine. ""You make others want to be better than they are Bellamy. You make me want more for myself." He smiled again, slyly this time. "You know, before Bridgette brought you here to Switzerland, my parents and your aunt had me "talk" with at least five therapists." A fact I had not been aware of. "Not one of them got through to me. Not one could relate to what I had been through, or what I had seen with my own eyes. You knew immediately. Turns out all I needed was a friend. A Guardian."

I had a feeling that I was now in for a troubling conversation now.

"Bellamy, I know you have said that you don't want this life. You say that you don't want to be a Guardian, but you have been at my side this entire week without question or resistance. Guardian is not just a title for you. It's not what you are. It's who you are Bellamy. And that is more important than anything."

A short silence passed as we sat staring at each other.

"You said you had a question."

"I do." He lowered his eyes slightly, pulling a box from his jacket pocket. He set the small box on the table, opening it before giving it to me.

I stared blankly at what he had just handed to me, unsure of what to say exactly.

"This is a ring." I stated the obvious, picking my jaw up from the floor. In truth, it was not just a ring. It was the most flawless sapphire that I had ever laid eyes on. Why was he giving this ring to me?

"It is a family ring." Aaron told me. "It has been in my family for generations.

My eyes turned up to his. Big mistake.

"What is it for?" My question was vague, but he knew precisely what I wanted to know.

"Well," He leaned forward, his hand returning to mine, "its purpose is to be given to someone that I care for. It's supposed to be…"

"An engagement ring." Yup, now I was sounding panicked. "I don't…I can't… We're not…" He had me at a complete loss for words. My head was spinning.

"Bellamy, breathe." He laughed. "You're cute when you're nervous. Don't worry. I'm not asking you to marry me."

"Then what are you asking me?"

"I had a long talk with my mother the other day when I told her I want you to have this ring." I now knew that he'd gone to Larisa for the ring, which likely meant that she knew its purpose. "She agrees with my decision to ask you to be my Guardian. Permanently."

He was offering me a job. A royal guard position. The idea of guarding someone that I got along with was intriguing. I looked back at him again. His eyes were full of immense hope. My heart fell, and I wanted to say something. Anything. But then, how could I outright say no to him? I didn't have the heart to do that. Plus, strangely, I felt part of me wanting to accept the offer.

"What happens when you change your mind? What happens a week from now, or a month, or even six months from now when you want someone else?" I tried not to let the sound of my voice reveal too much, but it was hard. The pain I still felt was ready to show itself.

"Is that what this is all about Bellamy?" Aaron inquired. He and I had discussed my own issues here and there, and not surprising, Aaron was more understanding than most. Sometimes he could read me as well as I read him. "You refuse to be a Guardian because you are afraid a Moroi will leave you? Like Mason?" He had hit it on the nose, but I was not going to have a discussion like this right now, in a restaurant.

"I don't have an answer right away Aaron." I returned to the subject at hand. "I think I need…"

"Time." He suggested. "Sure. Take your time."

"I need to talk to Bridgette."

When we arrived back to my Guardian cabin half an hour later, we were silent. Nothing more had been said about Aaron's request or whether or not I would even consider it.

"Do you want to come in?" I asked the Moroi as he walked with me to the door. I realized as I thought about him stepping away, that I was not ready to be separated from him just yet. His presence was… well, it brought a sense of peace. No. Not peace. Something more.

"Don't you want to talk to Bridgette?" For the first time in days, I could not read his tone.

"I can talk to Bridgette in the morning." I decided. "If you want, we can hang out here for the night. Right now, I feel like I need you near me. Please stay." I asked him, knowing he would.

Aaron agreed, taking my hand, and walking into the cabin with me. I couldn't let go of his hand. He felt like a lifeline to the past and present.

"This might sound out of place, but for the last few days, I've felt like a fog is clearing from my eyes. I've begun to feel like facing death is not going to be the end of me." I squeezed his hand gently with mine, and he stopped in place. "I have you to thank for this Aaron."

"Me?" He was visibly bemused by my gratefulness towards him. "Why me? I've been a PTSD mess for you to handle."

He wasn't wrong. He was a mess. But, I was more of a mess. I just knew how to mask it better.

"When we are together; when I'm near you like this, I feel numb."

"Thanks?"

I clearly needed to re-phrase what I tried to convey to him. "It's not a bad thing, Aaron." I clarified. "It's wonderful. I don't feel any guilt, regret, or sadness plaguing me at all hours. Talking to you started out as a job, a way for each of us to cope with tragedy and trauma, but I realized a short time ago, that you have also been helping me to see straight."

"By making you feel numb?" He still couldn't grasp my thanks.

"Yes. Feeling numb makes me feel whole for a little while. Like I am me again."

His fingers linked with mine a few moments before, were now moving across the side of my neck. His piercing eyes stared down at me. He touched my skin lightly, distracting me from every logical thought in my head. As I stared back at him, I did not want to think about anything important now. I needed a night off. I did not want to deal with the questions I had surrounding Mason, Christian, Eddie, the Council, or being a Guardian. I didn't want to deal with the life and death questions and decisions that might dictate the rest of my life. I wanted to feel numb for as long as possible.

"Aaron," I moved in closer to him, pulling my hands around his neck. I kissed him.

He pulled back a few inches, far more uncertain of my mental state now. "Bellamy, the last time I kissed you…"

"This time I kissed you, and I'm going to kiss you again." I let him know.

His hand moved into my hair, pulling me as close as he could before I kissed him. This feeling of being anesthetized was freeing. The best I had felt in weeks.

"Come on." Aaron urged, leading me further into the cabin. "We are going to crawl into bed, turn off the lights, and shut the world out for the rest of the night. Tomorrow we decide what we will and won't face yet."

I complied, just wanting to be closer to him, and to go on feeling this numbness. I walked us both up to the second floor, allowing him to enter the bedroom I had chosen. He turned on the table lamp beside the bed as I closed all of the shades, and took a few minutes to change my clothes. Once ready, I returned to see Aaron sitting on the edge of my bed. He lifted his head when I crawled up on the bed, and then joined me, his arms circling around me as I turned out the light and kissed him once more.

When I awoke, Aaron was asleep beside me. I stayed in place, trying not to wake him too. I felt his hands shift over my leg, and realized that I was half dressed. What had I done? Well, I knew. We spent a few hours making out half dressed. Normally it wouldn't be such a big matter, but this happened directly after he'd requested that I be his Guardian.

Aaron began to stir a few minutes later, his arm wrapped at my waist, keeping me close as he kissed my neck again. My fingers dug into his hair, further enjoying the need I had for him.

"I don't know if I can let you go Bellamy." He whispered to me. "Even if you aren't my Guardian, I don't want to be away from you."

In an instant, my biggest predicament resurfaced. I sat up, releasing the hold his arms had.

"Did I say something wrong?" Immediately the anxiety I felt could be sensed.

"No."

"Do you regret what happened last night?" He asked, resting back into a pillow, his arms moved behind his neck.

It was a valid question. "No. I don't." I replied slowly. I did not regret kissing him. Again, I had made a choice, but I was now doing everything I could to avoid his questioning stares. "You're not the first guy I've made out with. You're not even the first Moroi."

"No." He agreed. "But I am the first since Mason…"

"Yes." I stopped the rest of his remark.

"I thought I might hang out in my suite today." Aaron said to me, picking up his clothes. "You can take time to consider my offer, and discuss it with Bridgette. I think I will meet the two new Guardians assigned to my family. I'll see if they're as tolerating of me as you are."

I laughed out loud. "You're going to drive them nuts within hours." I retorted. "If they need a break from you, you can come back here."

He was happy for the offer, and kissed my forehead before going downstairs to find a cup of coffee. I took the next twenty minutes to shower and get dressed.

It was time for me to talk to Bridgette. I knew that she had been troubled by my behavior and well- being. I had not been willing to talk to her about my thoughts and feelings on everything, not because I blamed her specifically, but because of her support for the Council and other Guardians. Now, I needed her help. I asked her to coffee, knowing that neither of us had a whole lot of time for an in depth long chat. While waiting for her, I read through the letter given to me days ago. It was finally time to face Eddie.

When she sat down at the table across from me, I kept quiet until Tobias brought a pot of strong coffee. Bridgette poured a small cup, drinking it without filters. I added my cream and sugar before starting my inquisition.

"Did you know?"

Bridgette cleared her throat. "Be more specific. Did I know what?"

I slid the ring box I'd been given the night before across the table, my eyes staying on her, searching for a reaction.

I watched her eyes grow in size as she slowly opened the box. "Bells, this is a…" The ring caught her as off guard as it had me. "This is an engagement ring."

"No." I steadied her nerves too. "It is an offer of employment." I corrected. "It's an offer from Aaron. He uh… Last night he asked me to be his Guardian."

"Oh." She stared back at me silently.

"I haven't answered him."

"Because you don't want to hurt him? Bellamy, you cannot just disappear on him."

"I know. Actually, I haven't answered his request because I find myself giving consideration to it." Had I shocked her? No. Shocking Bridgette was near impossible. She had seen it all. "This week with Aaron has given me time to think about my choices, and why I've made them. Were you expecting me to reach this point? Did you know that I might find myself realizing what I am? What I want to do?"

"I hoped." Bridgette spoke again. "I did not have any expectations. But I wonder, what has you hesitating an answer?" She sounded more sympathetic to my dilemma.

"Emotion." I informed her. "If I say yes, feelings will be involved at some point.

"Aaron has feelings for you?" Bridgette surmised.

I half nodded. "Maybe. I'm not altogether sure."

"You have feelings for him?"

"No." I said. "Not like that. He's great, but after Christian, I'm sure that I don't want to be involved with anyone I choose to guard."

"You know who might be better at helping to solve this sort of predicament?" Bridgette smiled slightly. "Dimitri."

Nope. "I do not want him to know that I quit. I don't want him to know that I'm no longer a Guardian. I can deal with your disappointment to a point, I can deal with the Guardian Council being disappointed, but please don't make me face Dimitri's disappointment in me."

Bridgette chuckled softly. I know how you feel. I hate disappointing that man too."

"Please don't tell him, Bridge."

Reluctantly she agreed, additionally telling me that she hadn't said anything during their wanted or unwanted conversations at Court either.

BRIDGETTE

Aaron was right. Bellamy was not doing well. I could see it written all over her face as she talked. I gave it a little more time, but it was not getting better. Her time in Switzerland was coming to its end, and as I checked in on her, I soon saw that she'd made her decision. She made time to call the Guardian Council to review her recent conduct, and to make amends.

As she video called to the Court, I was on edge, waiting to hear what she might say in defense to the Court. Each member of Council decided to be in attendance for her call, also waiting to hear what she might say this time. The last time she'd confronted this group of people, she had thrown down her stake, and given them a letter of resignation. At least this time, she was willing to speak to them.

She took in a deep breath. "I should start by apologizing to the Court for my behavior these last several weeks." She was off to a good start. "The truth is, I love, loved Mason Ashford. After I was told he died, my love and conviction for this job slipped." She was justifying her actions, and it was caught.

"This is not the first time that you have slipped Bellamy." Rhys was quick to point out. Guardian Bowen had always held a soft spot for Bellamy and all she endured, but her recent actions did little for him.

But Bellamy was prepared for his remarks. "Unlike Hungary, I had a moment of weakness because sometimes it feels like no matter what we do, and how much we do, nothing ever changes."

"You must learn to tread carefully Bellamy." Kenley held a more reasonable tone. "Your emotions often cloud your judgement."

"My emotions have made me stronger." Bellamy pointed out. "And they are the reason I am still willing to fight. Over this past week I have seen how many changes we can make to Moroi lives. I learned that many lives were saved during the recent attack on the Drozdov family. We have Guardians to thank for that. Guardians who have sacrificed and dedicated their lives to a cause. We don't just take lives when necessary. We save lives, and we keep Moroi alive and stable. That is what I want to do."

She had made her decision. She was a Guardian again. She was a Guardian still. I never doubted that she would come back and reconsider. Her love of this job runs too deep. Now, she only had to accept and handle the next hurdle. Mason's funeral. The Council demanded her back to Court, which meant that she would also need to make a decision about Arron Drozdov's offer. After demanding her return to Court, the Council requested the return of Lucca, Larisa, and Aaron to Moroi Court. Their new Guardians would be trained there. I agreed, make a note to stop one other place before Court.

I was busy with paperwork in Larisa's office when the doors swung open. Aaron looked like he'd lost everything dear to him. He was frantic.

"Where is Bellamy?"

I hesitated. "She is in her cabin. She is packing." I was less than sympathetic, but I had a feeling I knew which way Bellamy was leaning when it came to Aaron. She had become quite fond of the royal, even relying on him a few times for support, but her concern and reason for his feelings would likely win out. "The Guardian Council has made their demands very clear to her. She is instructed to return to Court, and then attend the funeral. There is nothing she or I can do to change the decision."

"You are leaving too." He noticed suitcases to the side of the room.

"I am escorting you and your family back to royal Court. First I will stop at St. Vladimir's and call a meeting with Guardians there. They will be made aware of Bellamy's mental and emotional state."

As night rolled around, Bellamy met me in the lobby. She had tears in her eyes, and as I peeked behind her, I saw Aaron towards the center of the room.

"Bellamy!" He called out to her. I stepped back, allowing the two to talk. "Bells, I don't care if you're not my Guardian. I told you before I still don't want to let you go. We can be together."

I was not expecting him to say anything like that. What the hell had gone on between these two in a week? What were they talking about? And what were they really doing together? I wondered if approaching Bellamy with these questions was wise? The parent in me wanted to give her a Guardian inquisition before she stepped foot on the plane back to Court, but I also did not want her to rebound and bolt.

"I can't make that decision yet Aaron." Bellamy said to him, touching his face very sweetly. Clearly the two had a connection in some way. It was nice to see. "I need to get through the funeral first."

A wise decision on her part.

She returned to me after kissing him goodbye. It was a kiss that said something had happened between them, but I made the choice to keep quiet. Bellamy was on her way back to Guardian Court, the Drozdov family was shortly on their way to Moroi Court, and I had a pit stop to make before joining them.

DIMITRI:

The entire campus was silent. For the first time in weeks, I could hear the trees rustling in the wind, and I could hear the water from the lake hitting against the small rocks at night. It was almost more unsettling that the reasons behind the silence. Students and Guardians all made their way around campus, to classes, and to wherever we were required to work, but after the tragic events of Seattle, no one had much at all to say yet. My own task of conducting security checks at the main North gate were only put on hold as the device in my ear began to sound.

"Belikov." I heard. It was Alberta, and she sounded frustrated. "Belikov, I need you in Headmistress Kirova's office right now." She commanded, and I was not about to refuse the woman.

"On my way." I did not need any more bad news. I could not handle any more bad news. The school could not handle any more bad news, but as I drove across campus, my intuition said that being called to the office of Ellen Kirova could only mean one thing. As I parked the blacked out SUV alongside the correct building, I pulled up beside another familiar vehicle. It carried flags on the front, signifying its importance. It was one of the vehicles used by the Guardian Council, and clearly they too were in with the Headmistress. Once out of the car, I sprinted up the multiple levels to where I needed to be.

Imagine my surprise as I knocked and the door swung open. Alberta was already seated inside, her foot tapping impatiently. I should not have been so surprised to see Bridgette Pearce as well. After the death of a novice, especially the death of a novice who was incredibly close to Bellamy Pearce, I should not have been surprised to see any member of the Council trying to smooth this tragic event over. I had trouble believing that Bridgette Pearce would do damage control for the Guardian Council. Not to mention that she was technically no longer a sitting member of either Council. Bridgette Pearce was now part of Bureau-Ten. She was now part of that secret elite society of Guardians, who saved the world from more threats than just Strigoi. Strigoi were easy in comparison to everything else that hid in the shadows of our world. And Bridgette Pearce was one of the few who stood between us and those terrible threats. But here she stood again. Why?

"It is good of you to finally join us Guardian Belikov." Bridgette expressed her impatience. She did not move. She did not even turn. And after all of this time, I could not blame her. After our own breakup, things between me and Bridgette were strained. I was hurt when she let go, so I refused contact. After all of the years that she and I had been friends, I refused her any communication, and it had hurt her just as much in return. We'd spoken once or twice recently at Court, but the conversation was short, to the point, andgave no real information.

"Good to see you too Bridgette." I moved by her, taking a seat beside Alberta, waiting for either Bridgette or the Headmistress to say something.

"Now that we are all present and acquainted, is this about Bellamy?" Alberta was first to speak. "How is she? Where is she? I know that she and Mason Ashford were very close. Is she…"

"Guardian Petrov." The Headmistress halted the barrage of questions we had. "I am quite sure that Guardian Pearce is willing to answer your questions once you give her the opportunity to do so."

Alberta quieted, but I had the same questions.

"Bridgette." I implored her.

"I have come here as a favor." Bridgette finally sat down calmly, folding her hands into her lap, and keeping all of her well-guarded walls up.

"A favor to whom?" I knew that she could not actually say whom she had agreed to do this favor or most other favors for. Her position would never allow it. Still, I asked.

Her head shook. "Let's just say that I am here at the behest of a royal individual." I watched as she lowered her head a few degrees, and touched her index finger to her right temple. If there were recognizable actions that could speak volumes and clue me in to what Bridgette was thinking or feeling, it was the subtle ones. She was keeping something important to herself. She was keeping something important about Bellamy from us, the other Guardians who also cared for Bellamy Pearce.

"I am here to give you a heads up." She said as matter-of-factly as she could.

"A warning?" I leaned back into my chair, crossing my arms as Alberta stood nervously, on edge at the thought of any new warnings or threats.

"It is a heads up about Bellamy. This is about Bellamy." Bridgette clarified.

My interest was piqued and certainly prolonged as Alberta sat down beside me again, also anxious to hear any news on one of her favorite young Guardians.

"How is she?" The question was repeated.

"She is surviving."

I studied Bridgette as she sat across from us, talking about Bellamy in such a cavalier manner.

"That is the official answer." I said.

"That is the answer I have been sanctioned to give." Bridgette challenged me, but I could not back down now.

"How is she really doing?"

We both glared defiantly, unmoving, willing the other to back down. And, I was pleasantly surprised when Bridgette yielded first.

"She is not the same girl you knew, Dimitri." She sighed exhaustively. "She is not the same lucid and cogent girl that I raised. She still won't talk to me. Not really. She will not accept that what happened to Mason Ashford was not her fault." Bridgette explained. "The Council is afraid she might run. If she does, they won't find her. And she will not return the next time."

"Next time." Alberta and I muttered in unison, but Bridgette shrugged off the mention of Bellamy's proclivity for running.

"Not important." She looked so much sadder now, talking about Bellamy. "With his death," she referred to the death of Mason Ashford, "she lost so much of herself. It took me, the entire Council, and one of your novices to convince Bellamy not throw all of her training and hard work away. I am still not convinced that she won't run."

"One of our novices?" Alberta was curious too.

"Eddie Castile."

I knew the name right away. Eddie Castile had been part of the group of novices and Moroi who ran to Seattle. He had been hurt and drugged by the Strigoi who captured the group. He had also been the closest friend to Mason. Again, I was not surprised that he had been the one who'd gotten through to Bellamy.

"Mr. Castille's letter did something to help Bellamy. Whatever he wrote to her made her want to see this through and continue. So much so, that she has allowed the Guardian Council to offer her many assignments. She has chosen her assignment." Bridgette did not look happy about Bellamy's chosen Guardian assignment. "Actually, it appears that this assignment was all Bellamy's idea. She won't say much about her choice, other than she has her reasons, and that she needs to help this Moroi if she can."

"Which Moroi royal has she selected?" Alberta asked, but it was clear that even Bridgette did not know the answer yet.

"Until the Council confirms her assignment, even I don't know."

"When will she return to the Academy?" I requested as much professional information as I could get out of Bridgette. If she insisted on keeping things strictly professional from now on, I would do just that.

"Bellamy will arrive back here with her orders the day after tomorrow."

"The same night as Mason Ashford's funeral."

"Do not force her to attend if she refuses." Bridgette made it irreproachably clear that Bellamy was not to be forced into going to or dealing with the upcoming funeral for Mason, and I agreed.

Bridgette was stopped outside in the hall after the short meeting came to its end. She was speaking to Yuri Tverskaya of all people. He too recognized Bridgette, and was likely questioning about Bellamy.

"Do you want to tell the truth and tell me what is really going on with Bellamy? I know that you wouldn't show up at the Academy, and call a meeting unless you were worried. More worried than you let on. What is going on Bridgette?" I beseeched more information from her.

"You would know the answer to that question if you had called Bellamy back." Bridgette spun rapidly on her heels. "Why haven't you called her back?"

"I thought she should calm down before I spoke to her again."

The Guardian standing with me looked enraged. "After everything she has been through with the Council, her mother, Mason Ashford, and the inept decision making skills of her friends, you expect her to be calm? That is asking too much of her." The protective mama bear was fighting for her cub in this moment.

I pushed still. "We should expect more from her."

The look Bridgette sent me told me to go fuck myself.

"She has enough problems to deal with without you adding to them. Get over yourself, pick up your goddamn phone, and show a little empathy."

"Empathy." I almost spat the word back at her. I couldn't believe she was telling me that I should show empathy.

"Put yourself in her shoes. If you lost the person you love to Strigoi. Imagine having to hear the gruesome and violent details of that person's death second and third hand. How would you feel? Would you be in the right frame of mind a week later? I seem to recall that you were almost inconsolable after Ivan…" She went quiet, careful not to throw the death of our friend in my face. "Bellamy is struggling, and you have not made things any easier on her, so grow up and do the right thing."

In this moment, Bridgette sounded so much like Bellamy it was scary. She had a good point though. One of the reasons I hadn't called my friend back yet, was pride. Bellamy had wounded me and my pride.

"She looks up to you, and you are destroying her.' Bridgette chastised. "She is at Court until the funeral. If you call now, you can catch her between training sessions." Her words were more of an order than a suggestion. Without another word, she walked off in the opposite direction.

My phone felt foreign to me in my hand as I held it, staring down at the numbers I needed to dial. Any other time, I could dial Bellamy's number blindfolded. This time, fear and pride kept me frozen. Ultimately, I made myself punch in all of the necessary numbers. She answered on the third ring.

"Dimitri." She said my name slowly. "You took your time." She tried making a joke.

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. Part of me was afraid of what I might say, so I kept silent.

"You don't have to say anything. I'll start." Bellamy spoke softly. "I want to say I'm sorry. I was out of line when we talked before. I should never have said what I said. I let my emotions speak rather than my head. I let emotion cloud my reason. I know you have been worried about me, and I recognize that."

I could hear the intense emotion spilling into her voice. I recognized the sound of heartbreak and loss. I had experienced those same things not too long ago.

"I will do anything I can to fix any damage I've done." There was silence on both ends of the phone conversation now. "Are you still there?"

"I'm here." I answered, keeping my own voice soft and level. I heard a sound on the other end that sounded much like a catch in her throat. "Please don't cry Bells." I hated myself for causing her any more emotional distress. Bridgette was right. I was only making things worse. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her tight.

"I should've called you sooner." I stated.

"I should've kept my mouth shut." Bellamy added. "I have a proclivity for saying things that I shouldn't at inopportune times."

"You are going through a lot, and I failed to recognize how much, and how deeply."

She and I talked for another thirty minutes before both needing to return to work.

"I will see you soon Bellamy."

"I will be there in a few days." She said before hanging up, refusing to say goodbye.

READERS:

I KNOW THAT THIS CHAPTER TOOK A TON OF TIME TO FINISH AND POST. APOLOGIES. BUT I FINALLY FINISHED IT. I AM SPLITTING THIS CHAPTER INTO TWO PARTS. THE NEXT PART (WHAT HAPPENS AT St. VLADIMIR'S), WILL BE POSTED SOON. IT IS SHORTER AND EXPLAINS UNEXPLAINED IN THIS CHAPTER. UNTIL THEN…