The Purple Stuff (My Hero Academia)
*beep*beep*beep*
I awoke to the beeping of a medical device.
"How are you feeling?" an old woman asked, the arcane noises created by the various medical devices letting her know he was awake.
"Not… bad," I replied as I tensed and relaxed various muscle groups, searching for any sign of pain.
"Surprising," she muttered as she looked me over, leaning on a giant syringe?
"Why's it surprising?" I asked, wondering what had happened to land me in the hospital.
"You had a metal spike rammed through your temple just before taking a near lethal amount of voltage. I'm frankly surprised you're conscious and not in a permanent vegetative state," she said bluntly.
"Yeah, I get the surprise now," I replied. "How did all that happen?"
"What do you remember?" she asked.
"I… huh," I said with a frown. "I got nothing."
"That's understandable," she said, "short term memory loss is easily disrupted."
"Um… no," I corrected her, "I remember nothing… at all."
"Complete amnesia?" she asked, eyebrows raising.
"I don't remember my name or personal history," I agreed. "Who am I?"
She sighed, leaning heavily on the giant syringe she was using as a cane. "You are Minoru Mineta AKA The Fresh Picked Hero, Grape Juice, aspiring hero in training, class 1-A of UA highschool."
I just stared at her for a moment before I said, "That is the craziest thing I've ever heard… that I remember."
"Name or profession?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied dryly, getting a snicker out of her.
"I have a feeling you'll be using that line a lot," she said. "I'm known as Recovery Girl, I'm the nurse for UA. I'm going to notify your teacher that you've recovered, physically at least," she said before bobbing out of the room.
I took the opportunity to examine myself. I'm in decent shape, not nearly as well muscled as I'd expect an aspiring hero to be, but not bad. I really need a mirror, but I'm not seeing one nearby and I've got so many sensors on me there's no way I can get up without setting off all sorts of alarms.
A flood of young people entered the room, all trying to talk at once and a blond guy threw himself on me crying and apologizing for something. I think I know these people or at least most of them, but one other thing suddenly struck me. "How fucking short am I?" I asked in disbelief as everyone but the crying guy shuts up. Denki, his name is Denki.
"How can you not know how short you are?" someone asked.
I ignore the question. "Dude, stop wrinkling the bedding."
That's the point when the nurse and a hobo pushed their way into the room and through the crowd.
"Hey! I know that hobo!" I exclaimed, which the students all winced or smothered laughter at.
"Are your memories returning?" Recovery Girl asked hopefully.
"I couldn't tell you," I replied with a shrug, "but I think I know most of these people."
"What?!" exclaimed at least half a dozen teens.
"Mineta is suffering from retrograde amnesia, presumably caused by a combination of brain injury and electric shock," she explained.
Denki started crying loudly.
"Yo Sparky, zip the water works," I ordered.
"B-but it's all my fault!" he whined.
"Did we die?" I asked him calmly.
"No?" he offered, confused.
"Then it's not worth wasting tears over," I told him.
"B-but I almost killed you," he said, tearing up.
"He had to go all out and didn't know you had a spike through your brain," Deku quickly explained. "You were surrounded by villains."
"Would we have survived if you hadn't done that?" I asked Denki.
"Not likely," Jiro said, "the spike through your head was the worst injury but it wasn't the only one, they were out for blood."
"So… he's apologizing for saving my life?"
"I… um… I didn't look at it like that," Denki admitted, no longer looking quite so upset.
"Well start looking at it that way," I ordered him, "because I quite like breathing and you probably do too."
"Yeah," he admitted, smiling slightly.
"Thanks for saving my life," I told him.
"Anytime," he said, looking like the weight of the world had just dropped off his shoulders.
"You sound…" Mina's voice trailed off.
"Different," Deku said.
"Do you remember anything about who you are?" the hobo- erm, Eraser Head asked.
"Only what I've been told and my personal observation that I appear to be really fucking short," I replied. "That wasn't a side effect of anything, was it?"
"No, you've always been of small stature," Recovery Girl assured him.
"No big deal then," I said dryly, getting a couple of snickers.
"Is he fit to return to class?" Eraser Head asked.
"Physically yes, however we're going to need to test his memory to see what he's lost, if anything beyond his personal memories," Recovery Girl said. "Regardless, being around familiar faces should help his memory recover quicker, so I'll be sending him along in an hour."
"Just about time for lunch," Denki said cheerfully.
"Good, I'm feeling a little hungry, or rather a lot hungry which I hadn't noticed until now," I said and then frowned. "Where's the nearest bathroom, I really have to pee."
Recovery Girl gestured towards one of the doors and he started pulling off sensors. This was going to take a while.
Lunch Time
"Hey guys," I greeted them as I joined them at the table, taking the open spot between Deku and Jiro.
"Mineta, how are you feeling?" Deku asked.
"Short, really short," I replied.
"You aren't that short," Deku said.
"I'm so short that if I tell a girl her hair smells nice she's legally allowed to smack me," I replied.
There was silence for a second before the entire group burst out laughing.
"Dude," Denki said as he snickered, unable to finish what he wanted to say.
"You've lost your lisp," a dark haired girl noted.
"I had a lisp?" I asked, surprised.
"You did, it's gone now and your voice is deeper," Deku offered.
"What he's trying to say is you sounded like a prepubescent girl who had her front teeth knocked out before you woke up," a spiky blonde haired boy said.
"Bakugo," several people chastised him.
"Huh, good to know," I said, "thanks."
"He has amnesia," Bakugo said bluntly, ignoring their response, "blowing smoke up his ass isn't going to help him, it'll just make things worse."
"He's right," I told them, "according to the doctors I need to connect to things I've actually experienced to regain the memories attached to them. Good or bad I need to hear the cold hard truth, not a comforting lie."
Jiro turned to me. "You were a complete pervert who annoyed the hell out of me."
I smiled. "Thank you Jiro, I really appreciate your honesty. I'll try to be less of an annoyance to you in the future."
"It's good to hear," Jiro said, relieved but trying to hide it.
"I-I'm not very good at giving people hard truths," Deku admitted nervously. "While what she said is true you were also working hard to become a hero and help people."
I nodded as I ate, the massive stack of food in front of me slowly vanishing.
"You found out there was a hole drilled in the wall between the boys and girls locker room on the first day and I had to keep you from using it," Deku said with a wince.
"Good man," I told him and slapped him gently on the back. "That's exactly what you should have done in that situation."
The teens looked surprised, but relaxed a bit as they took turns talking about things I'd done, quite a few of them perverted… okay, ninety percent of them perverted.
"Yeah, I can see how my power would have twisted me into becoming a pervert," I admitted.
There was silence for a minute as the teens exchanged confused looks.
"How the hell do you figure that twisted you?" Bakugo asked.
"Well," I said, setting down my chopsticks and raising my pointer finger, "I absorb feminine chi to enhance myself." I formed a ball of pinkish chi on the tip of my finger. "The safest way to extract feminine chi is to absorb it from clothes worn by women, underthings having the most contact and thus absorbing the most chi that women naturally generate."
"That is not your quirk," the dark haired girl, Momo said as they all stared at the small ball of chi I was balancing on the tip of my finger.
"Really?" I asked doubtfully. "Because I can sense every piece of female undergarments in this wing of the school, tell you their size, age, and how long they've been wearing them."
"You've got to be shittin me," Bakugo said with an angry frown.
"I'm perfectly serious," I replied. "Momo's underwear are approximately three weeks old while her sports bra is less than an hour. Why is it less than an hour old?"
"The seam gave out on the one I was wearing in gym and I had to make a replacement," Momo admitted.
"You have psychic underwear power?" Deku asked, shocked.
"Female underwear," I corrected him and absorbed the ball of chi.
"If that was your true quirk and you were hiding it, fearing negative public reaction then you have to pretend to be using a mutation quirk, unless the mutation compliments the-" Deku rattled off, muttering to himself which I listened to with half an ear.
"When we were attacked you were begging me for my underwear saying you didn't want to die a virgin to cover for the fact that you were going to use them to power up!" a transparent girl exclaimed.
"Probably," I told her, "it fits, but I could also have been serious if my quirk had twisted my personality to that great a degree."
"How are we supposed to help you regain your memories if what we thought was happening wasn't what had occurred?" Deku asked himself.
"If not for the little ball of energy I'd think that was just an excuse to try and get us to throw our underwear at you," Mina said, the pink skinned alien looking girl pulling her arms into her shirt. "Gimme a second, I wanna actually see you pull the energy out of my bra."
"What?!" half the teens exclaimed in shock.
"Sure," I replied, almost done eating.
"You can't be serious," Jiro said, completely flabbergasted.
Mina's arms popped back out of her shirt and she handed me her bra from across the table.
I accepted the plain white bra and closed my eyes, pouring male chi into the acid resistant material, causing it to glow before pulling all of the chi out of it, my eyes popping open and feeling like I'd just drank three pots of coffee. "Whoa!"
"He's jittery," Momo noted, "and I think his eyes are slightly dilated."
"You are an atomic reactor of female energy," I told Mina as I returned her bra.
"How enhanced are you?" Deku asked, blushing from having seen Mina's bra.
"Arm wrestle him," Baku suggested/ordered.
"Okay, Kacchan," Deku agreed, moving his food tray so he could put his arm on the table.
I quickly finished my food and shoved my tray in a ki pocket so I could kneel on the bench and grasp Deku's hand. I really don't like being short.
"Where did the tray go?" Jiro asked.
"Shoved it in a ki pocket," I replied, "it's fine."
"And that just brings up more questions," Momo said.
"On three," Bakugo said, "one two three… go!"
I slammed Deku's hand down.
"How?! What?! Did that happen?!" the teens gasped out.
"Deku, stop being a lazy bastard and put your back into it!" Bakugo demanded.
I let Deku get himself ready and we clasped hands again, his teeth gritted in determination.
"Go!" Bakugo called out.
Green lightning began to spark as Deku slowly forced my arm down.
"Did you let him win?" Bakugo asked as Deku massaged his arm which was red and a bit swollen looking.
"I'm not going to break his arm to win an arm wrestling match," I replied.
"How strong are you while high on Mina's juices?" Denki asked only to get smacked by the pink skinned girl.
"How long will that charge last?" Deku asked.
"What's a ki pocket?" Momo asked.
"Depends on how much of the energy I use up and the rate I use it up," I told Denki and Deku. I turned to Momo. "It's a conceptual thing, kind of like an inventory from a video game."
"Ki, chi… are you a ninja?" Ochako asked.
"No, but I know all their tricks," I replied with a shrug. Ninja were just martial artists trained in being sneaky after all.
"I mean like in the animes," Ochako said.
I nodded. "Their best tricks aren't as flashy, but yeah I can do all the anime ninja tricks, at least the ones I remember."
"And all this time you've been limiting yourself for social reasons which has just pushed you to be perverted which had even more negative social effects," Deku muttered, trying to figure out an equation to add to his notes on Mineta.
"Probably," I offered with a shrug. It made sense but didn't feel like the whole answer.
"What all can you do with chi and ki?" Momo asked eagerly.
"Just about anything," I replied honestly, stunning them all into silence. "What?" I asked as they just stared. It wasn't that unusual, was it? Man, I really needed my memories back.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows
AN: Guess who Mineta just became the reincarnation of!
TN: Oh, so I guessed right that this is a previous life thing, but with amnesia throwing a twist into the works? Sweet! All things considered, my guess is Happosai.