Elsie was making her rounds in the hall of the family's quarters. She was trying to be as thorough as possible, but her mind slipped away to thoughts of Charles. In her mind he was now always Charles. Since their very important talk they had been spending more time together in the evenings. They chatted about many topics. Their likes and dislikes. Books they enjoyed or despised. They shared sherry and other types of wine from his collection.
He did not make a move to kiss or caress her, but she did not mind. Not much anyhow. She was getting a wee bit restless. She thought of his scent and good looks often. Wishing she could run her hand over his chest and into his hair. She wondered at the texture. It looked more soft than course, but it was a detail she did not know. And she reflected that she wanted to know everything. Her attraction to him was growing with the knowledge she gathered during their time together.
She wondered where they would go from here. Were they moving too fast? Probably, she had only known him for less than a year. She didn't think they were moving too fast. To her she had waited a lifetime for him. At 34 she certainly felt like a spinster. She chose this life, but it did not stop the wonders of something different. Something more fulfilling. She was content and happy with her position, but yearned for companionship and love.
She knew the family were making plans to stay in London soon. They planned on a few months, not as long as previous years. Wee Miss Lady Sybil was just over a year old and the family planned on taking all of the children. The family didn't want to be away from home too long with such young girls underfoot. She would miss him very much and it was a big undertaking to run the house by oneself for the first time.
She had big plans of a deep cleaning of the entire house. She also wanted to visit home. It would be her only chance this year. Her mother sent a few concerning letters in the last month and Elsie wanted to visit and see if she could offer her assistance.
Elsie made it to the second to last bedroom in the hall and noticed Clara making the bed. Elsie stepped into the room. "Hello Clara, how have you been? I feel we haven't talked in ages." She said with a smile. Grabbing the end of the sheet, tucking it into the corner,she silently offered her assistance.
Clara looked up and smiled. "Thank you Mrs. Hughes" indicating Elsie help in making the bed.
"I thought we agreed that you would continue to call me Elsie?"
"Oh yes, sorry Elsie"
"Clara, l'm sorry that we have not had much time together"
"I understand, I see you running around like a chicken with the head cut off." She looked up suddenly when she realized the implications of her words. "Not that I think your not doing a good job"
"I didn't take it that way," Elsie said with an amused smile.
"How do you think Margaret is working out?" She asked about the new housemaid and Clara's new roommate.
"She is working out well. You made a good choice. She is a chatterbox, that one. I have to remind her nightly that we need to sleep. Else she would talk into all hours of the night." Clara chuckled.
Elsie chuckled along. She continued to help make the bed until they were finished.
They made their way to the door "I think you are doing a wonderful job as head housemaid."
"Thank you, Elsie"
"You know you seem more jovial lately. You smile more. What's changed?"
"You have seemed more jovial yourself Elsie. I could ask you the same question."
Elsie looked down, a blush spreading to her cheeks. She was indeed more content, but could not disclose the reason why. Charles and herself had a silent agreement not to share their newfound understanding with anyone. Best to keep it secret.
"I asked first"
"I have met someone." Clara smiled.
"Oh"
"Yes, He is from the village, works in a shop".
"Which shop?"
"The general store". Clara said with a giggle.
"My My" Elsie knew of only one eligible bachelor who worked at the general store. A Mr. Benson. Timothy, she believed, was his first name. A very handsome lad only a few years older than dear Clara.
"Yes, I know. Who would have thought a man like him would be interested in little ol me?"
"I don't think it's far fetched. Clara, you offer much." Elsie said, reaching up to squeeze her arm in a comforting manner.
"He wants to take me out soon, do you think I can take my half day soon and in the afternoon?"
"Yes of course" she paused and questioned "Is this your first date? Would you like someone to go with you?
Clara blushed and looked somewhat embarrassed.
"Am I talking to my friend Elsie or the housekeeper?"
"Your answer sure does give me pause. I'm thinking that you should be talking to the housekeeper. Rest assured, I'll lay down the keys and you can talk freely."
Clara looked relieved "We meet every chance we can, not often obviously. But we have gone out a few times. Sometimes he comes here after making a delivery and we walk about the gardens. He is quite the charmer. Sometimes he tries too hard and I have to remind him that he is coming off too strong. But he listens to me, really listens and is respectful."
"I'm assuming there is no need for a friend to tag along them"
"No I imagine not," She said in a cheeky tone.
"He sounds like a nice man."
"Oh he is, very nice. I think I'm in love. I've never felt this way before. I can't wait to see him again and think about him constantly"
Elsie smiled at her.
"Have you ever been in love, Elsie?" Clara looked at her friend again coming out of her imaginings of Timothy.
Elsie was shocked by her question. Was she in love? Maybe?
"How does one know they are in Love?" Elsie murmured.
Clara gave her a questioning look, but answered "Well, it's like you can't breathe easily when you're apart. He is always on your mind. You question what would he think? Would he like this or that? Does he think of me? What is he doing right now? There is always this sensation in your stomach when you think of him. It's such an unusual sensation, like butterflies fluttering around. And when you're together you just feel complete. Does that make sense?" She said all of this without noticing that Elsie made her way back into the bedroom and sat herself in one of the side chairs.
Elsie's mind was racing. She felt all of this and more for Charles. Oh God she did Love him?
Clara finally noticed that Elsie was missing, she turned and noticed Elsie's seated position. She also noticed Elsie's expression. Shocked and surprised. Rubbing her hands down the fabric of her thighs. Realization made its way into the forefront of her mind.
"You're in love now, aren't yah?"
Elsie quickly turned her head and gasped. Forgetting that Clara was still with her. She needed to become better at hiding her feelings if she was to continue with Charles. He would never tolerate the other staff knowing his private business. She knew the importance of keeping their more personal interactions secret. They were their leaders and were to maintain the proper examples.
Elsie did not rely, but unfortunately Clara came to her own conclusions.
"Well Who could it be? The only man I see you converse with is Mr. Cars…" Further realization struck "No".
Elsie quickly stood, feeling a little shaky. She made it to the door, pulled Clara inside and closed the door.
"You can't tell anyone Clara. Please."
"Oh Elsie, You've put yourself in a tight spot."
"Yes I know, I couldn't help it."
"Elsie it's forbidden"
"I know that too"
Clara grabbed Elsie shaking hands and gave her a sturdy squeeze. "I don't know what to say. I'll say this though. If you truly feel for Mr. Carson, what I feel my Timothy then I will keep your secret. Love like this is too precious to throw away Elsie."
Elsie gave her a squeeze back "Promise me?"
"I promise, and I'm always here to listen."
Elsie took in a deep soothing breast, dropped her hands, and made her way to the door again.
"Thank you Clara, we best get back to work." Elsie said, pulling her housekeeper persona to the forefront.
They departed in different directions.
Later that night Carson joined Elsie in her pantry for their nightly meeting.
"How was your day Elsie?"
"It was good Charles, I have been planning the big clean while you and the family are away." Charles gave her a nod.
"I should hope that you write to me often while I'm away. You know about how the cleaning is coming along and such" He raised a cheeky eyebrow.
"And such," Elsie replied. Shaking her head with a smile.
"I do have something important to discuss with you Charles"
"Yes?"
"Well I had a very interesting run in with Clara today. She has a new beau, did you know?"
"I did not" He was relatively oblivious to the housemaids. Unless there was a problem brought to him, he left their care in the very capable hands of the housekeeper.
"Yes, well we had a conversation about…" She paused, not wanting to scare him with the L word. "Relationships."
"Go on," Charles said after her silence. She was trying to gauge his reaction before continuing. Unfortunately his expression did not give him away. Stoic man.
"We discussed how to truly know when someone is right for the other. She seemed very smitten with her lad."
She continued "And well she started describing how one knows and then guessed that I had met someone as well."
He looked at her sharply "How did she figure that out?" tension clear in his voice. "I don't mean to be rude, but she doesn't seem to be the most inquisitive sort."
Elsie smiled and patted his hand. Ignoring his sharp tone she said "She is a woman Charles and women notice a lot that men do not."
Charles grunted and took a sip from his sherry.
"The problem is Charles that she came to the conclusion that the man I met and fancy is you."
Charles sputtered his drink. Some even made it out of his nose. He started coughing and looked rather uncomfortable.
"How could she possibly have come to that conclusion Elsie?" His voice rose. He was searching for a handkerchief, and became frustrated by his lack of one and by the conversation.
Elsie handed him one of her personal handkerchiefs. "I think she saw it in my expression"
"Elsie," Carson replied in a disappointed sigh.
She nodded her head in acknowledgement of her wrong doing.
"I know Charles, she promised not to tell anyone. We can trust her."
"I hope you're right" He finished with her handkerchief about to pass it her way.
"No Keep it."
Charles smiled and stuffed it into his pocket. He planned to wash it and then return.
"Charles, how are we to continue? For it is my dearest wish to continue."
Charles grabbed her hand. The only intimate gesture he would initiate.
He rubbed his fingers against her, creating an addicting sensation that took her mind off the present conversation, for just a moment.
"Elsie, I don't want to give you up."
"I don't want that either"
"Do you think we are moving too quickly?"
Charles took a moment to gather his thoughts.
"Maybe by other's standards we are moving rather fast." Elsie nodded in agreement.
"But, now that you have opened my eyes I can't reclose them. I want to be with you Elsie." He took in her expression. She did not look guarded or unconvinced. She looked into his eyes with a look of total agreement.
"We don't have many options. Only three that I have come up with." He then stated.
"You have been thinking about how we can be together?" She said in delight. She was starting to realize the depths of his feelings. Her stomach was fluttering wildly.
"Of course I have, how can I not after we both revealed our feelings?" He gave her a questioning look. Somewhat questioning if he should continue.
She placed her other hand over the hand covering hers. Nodding at him to continue.
"Our first option would be to tell his load and ladyship. Most likely the outcome would be our removal from our positions. And we would have to leave. The second is to put in our resignations and find alternate work. Maybe in a shop. I don't have much money, but enough to survive for several months."
"We can't do number two Charles. You love your work and I need mine to help my family."
He inclined his head in understanding "I should like to understand your family dynamic soon Elsie, if you don't mind".
"I should like to know about yours as well Charles, we will get there."
He nodded and continued "Our third option would be to stay here and conduct ourselves in secret. No one else can know."
She was again deep in thought going over options one and three. His next works sunned her into continued silence.
"I also want to add, in all of these options I have imagined up, they all ended with you marrying me."
She stared at him with wide starry eyes.
"Well blow me over with a feather."
"It would have to be a mighty feather to blow you over Elsie" he thought about what he said and doubled back. "I hope you don't take that in the wrong way, I think you are very slight. I was alluding to your strong nature."
She smiled at him, a doppy love struck smile, a smile he returned.
She didn't take office, but thought him cute for his concern.
"Well what option do you think best?" He moved the conversation along from his last remark.
"Practically, I would say number three Charles"
"Yes, I believe that is our best option"
Charles clasped her hands in his and guided her up from her seat. He looked into her eyes with an adorning look. Still holding her hands he bent down on one knee.
Elsie gasped.
"Elsie, would you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?"
Elsie slid down to the ground with him and with quick succession ripped her hands out of his and sprang herself into his arms. She hugged him tight and whispered into his ear "Of Course my love"
Charles felt tears gathering into his eyes. He never thought this could happen to him. He pulled back from her looking for confirmation in her expression. He saw the love they shared reflected in her eyes. Eyes that had their own tears gathered as well.
"I love you, Elsie. Very much."
Elsie cried out in the moment and leaped forward to kiss him in a bruising fashion.
Charles returned her kiss with great pleasure. Caressing the back of her head and neck.
Elsie had never felt a sensation like this before. She moaned into his mouth when she felt his tongue slide against her lips, asking for entry.
Their kiss continued, each relishing in the new passion they created.
Elsie moved into his lab, she pulled back and looked into his face. She wanted to see if her move was met with acceptance. Charles moved to kiss her again. She reciprocated by not only returning the kiss, but also moving her hands into his hair. She memorized the texture. Finally discovering one of her questions. His soft hair felt amazing cascading through her fingers.
Charles released his own moan. Her caressings felt outstanding. And her place in his lap euphoric. He would need to stop this soon or have an embarrassing situation occur.
"Elsie my love, We need to stop"
Breathless Elsie nodded her head in agreement. She moved off his lab preparing to stand. Charles offered a hand for her to stand and then she returned the favor by pulling him to his feet.
Both stood looking at each other. Both astonished, but reflective on their love for each-other.
Elsie reached up towards his face to caress his cheek. She moved her fingers to his lips. She noticed how red and swollen they were. She drew her hand back and touched her own lips. Realizing they were in the same shape. She thought they probably looked like a fine pair.
Charles was again having similar thoughts. He strayed to how disheveled they both looked and how they could not be caught by anyone when they made their way to their rooms.
"Elsie I hate to ruin this beautiful moment, but I have to emphasize that our marriage will need to be secret."
"I know Charles, we will manage somehow."
"Yes we will figure it out, I have no doubt. And if we need to leave, we will manage."
"We will be creative, I'm sure. No need to think of leaving quite yet." She emphasized the "We". She wanted him to know she was counting on him to find a way as well.
Charles smiled and leaned down to give her one more kiss.
She smiled against his lip.
When he pulled away he said "We must go to our rooms, although I don't know how I will rest when my mind is so full."
Elsie chucked. "Yes how indeed" She reached up to smooth his hair. Once satisfied that he didn't look too disheveled, she dropped her hands.
They shared one last smile and made their way out of her sitting room.
Once in her room she heard the familiar knock at their shared door. However this night was different. Instead of one knock, there were three in succession. She smiled largely realizing the knock's new meaning. I Love you.
They continued on as before, meeting in the night. It was beautifully different though. Their conversations deeper and more kisses shared.
One morning after work instructions for the day were distributed, Mr. Carson turned to Mrs. Hughes at the breakfast table and said "I need to run into the village. Do you have any present errands?
Elsie put down her tea cup "I do, several"
"I could go, in your stead"
Elsie inclined her head, but he could tell she was disappointed. He was proud that she was better able to hide it from others. Something he could tell she had worked on in the last few weeks.
Not wanting to extend her insinuation he continued with his original favored plan.
"Or you could join me" again she hid her reaction well and inclined her head in agreement. He could tell she was pleased, her eyes were more alight.
"Would you like to go after the family's breakfast?" said after taking another sip from her cooling tea.
"That is agreeable".
They were on the path to the village. Walking in a contented silence side by side. Hands swaying, far enough apart for fingers to brush.
Charles looked down to her and appreciated her natural beauty. Her hair was in its normal tidy form, but he noticed the shine and enhanced color as the sun shined on her. He loved the feel of her hair. The softness. He appreciated all the soft aspects of her.
Elsie felt his gaze upon her and looked into his face. She could see the love in his eyes. A profound feeling indeed. She smiled at him and did not attempt to hide the blush that was surely staining her face.
Charles murmured "You look beautiful" he could not help himself.
Elsie's cheeks felt even more aflame. "Oh Charles, no one has ever told me that before."
He raised a surprised eyebrow "That's hard to imagine".
"I will admit that a few chaps have tried to work their charms on me, but I have always been determined in my work, Charles. There was one man I thought of marrying. We walked out together back in Scotland. He asked for my hand, but told him I needed to think on it. I got the letter from Downton and asked that he wait a few months. When I was offered my current position, I wrote to him. I'm assuming he did not take my refusal well. He never wrote back."
"I'm very glad you did not refuse me"
"How could I when you have stolen my heart."
He smiled down at her. He didn't need words to express his shared sentiment.
They continued down the path.
"Charles, we need to devise a plan. How are we to be married and stay a secret?"
"I can honestly say I do not know."
"Mrs. Smith hinted to staff past who indulged in inter-staff relationships"
Mr. Carson spun towards her in silent outrage.
"Oh, don't give me that look or you are indeed a hypocrite."
"I know you are right, but the thought of others hiding in plain sight…"
"Gives you a hopeful outlook, I know"
"Or a disturbed one" She looked up at him again and laughed. Charles smiled and joined in.
"She said something like, notice all the hidden places in the house. Look in the odd places, and something about books. Do you know why she would say something like that to me?"
"Hummm, She did seem very fond of the previous butler. Makes you wonder."
"Interesting"
"Yes, you know she said something to me before she left." He smiled at her.
"Yes? What" She said, a bit exacerbated after his smile grew.
"She wanted me to live a little, said something about thinking of myself and not just service."
"The old coot wanted to play matchmaker."
"Or she knew of the draw between Butlers and Housekeepers from the past."
"If that is true, there must be evidence. Maybe some guide from couples past on how they hid their affections."
"Yes, I like your line of thinking. How they hid ways of being together in private" He said deep in thought.
Elsie blushed again.
Charles looked down at her again shyly "I'm sorry that was bad conduct"
"No Charles, you are to be my husband. It is important to have these conversations."
He agreed, nodding in her direction.
"I do have an idea Charles. Once we are married it would be most beneficial to find a way to open our shared door."
"Yes" He thought for a moment "Yes, you are brilliant. At least we could share the same bed. We would have to figure out how to get a bigger bed of course."
"We can think of the bed later" She said cheekily.
Charles laughed.
"How to find the key?"
"I'll start by trying all of mine first."
"Yes that is the obvious route, I don't think it will be as easy as that"
"Elsie while the family is away, please direct that beautiful creative mind into finding a way to open that door."
"Alright, I shall."
"Which brings me to my next request." He stopped her from walking further and looked around. When he noticed that they were truly alone he grabbed one of her hands.
"I should like to marry you right before the family returns. I could come back a few days early and meet you in Thirsk or Ripon. Although we should choose a place further away."
Elsie rubbed his hand and said "That should work Charles, I'm going to Argyle while the family is away. I could plan on going towards the end of their stay and meet you somewhere on my way back."
Charles smiled at her. His smile lighting up his face. She thought him most handsome with a smile. More so when directed at her.
"Oh Elsie, I'm entirely pleased"
"Me too Charles, me too."
They took a moment to settle their plans in their minds and continued to the village.
He started humming in a happy tune. Elsie smiled. Both happy to be in this together.