Charles was in his pantry at the end of a busy day. Unfortunately he found himself alone. This was the first evening after his and Elsie's defining conversation that he was without her for the evening. He missed her delightful company. Strange Indeed. He was having a hard time settling down for the night without her.
Elsie had come down with a cold earlier in the day. In fact, he had needed to order her to rest. She had almost collapsed while supervising the cleaning of the library. Apparently swaying so much, she needed to catch herself on one of the couches in her attempt not to fall. One of the maids found him after the incident, stating they were unable to convince her to leave.
After his summons he took one look at her pale face and sent her to the staff quarters. Concerned immediately by her appearance.
Of course she tried to protest, going on about the amount of work still needing her attention. She looked somewhat embarrassed. He could not discern as to why. All the while sniffling, she looked exhausted. Sporting a red nose and rosy cheeks. She swayed on her feet again before he stepped forward and physically guided her towards the servants stairway.
He knew she was tough and determined, but was starting to see her stubborn nature. He shook his head with a smile. She truly was amazing. Her stubbornness even more endearing to him.
He found himself quite unsure of what to do with the remainder of his evening without her. They had shared many evenings and time together over the past month. He tried to soak up all the attention he could from her. He was leaving in a week's time. This year he was not particularly happy about being away from Downton. He could not gather enthusiasm for seeing London a hard time baring the thought of being without her for a few months. Goodness, when had he turned into such a soppy man?
Charles could not shake his feelings for her and simply didn't want to give Elsie up. He hoped time would move quickly while away. He planned on diving into his work, hoping that would prove an adequate distraction. He was elated to think about the outcome of finishing the season. They would meet up and be married.
How his life had turned since her arrival. He never thought he would go down this path. He had hoped during his time on stage that he and Alice could be together as husband and wife. It was not to be though.
He knew he should not move forward with Elsie. Society and the Family would not approve. Ultimately, he knew he could not live without her. He could not make do with her being just a colleague either. He wanted all of her.
He smiled with the thoughts of her, he was a lucky man to have secured her love. She was smart and beautiful. She cared for the staff and made herself available to all under this roof. She was confident and outgoing. Not afraid to greet new faces and form relations. And she knew her trade, not just the physical requirements, but the finesse of paying attention to details. Of observing the family's needs before they communicated them.
His mind drifted to her other appealing physicalities. Elsie had the most alluring eyes. So blue in color. Reminiscent of ocean waters. He felt constantly drawn to them. He had to be cautious around others, to not draw their attention to his distraction and gaze upon her. She was very attractive. Her curvaceous, but equally slight figure. He could admit to his excitement for their wedding night.
He needed to distract himself out of his current thoughts. For they were most ungentlemanly. He looked around the room for something to do. He looked over his bookcase, figured he could try and find something to read. Or re-read in any case. He perused the titles. All of which he had already read. Guiding his fingertips over the spines he took out an old cover. One that was given to him by the previous Butler.
From the corner of his eye he saw the vinyl backing of the bookcase coming loose in the corner. Reaching his hand out he tried to smooth out the vinyl into its rightful place, knowing he would need glue to actually fix the problem. He felt the most curious thing in the corner. A poke from the corner of paper, it looked like an envelope sticking out just the tiniest amount.
Regrettably he tore the vinyl away from the back further. There he saw an envelope stuck to the backing. He pulled it loose. Holding it in his great paws, he read the name upon the envelope. Ruth. He drew his forehead together in question. How on earth did that get there? And who was Ruth?
He took the envelope to his desk and sat down. The back was open. He undid the flap and retrieved the letter. Surprise followed after reading the contents.
"My Dearest Butler,
How I have missed you these last few months. My heart fills with joy whenever one of the hall boys brings me the post and your letter is there. I have been very busy indeed and I imagine you have been just as busy, If not more. Because of this, your letters are that much more special. I was most glad to hear from you. How I can live without you is a true conundrum. It's so strange that we manage every season. I guess it's the thought of our reunion that keeps me going. I hold our key every night and think of you. Hold it to my bosom as I wish to hold you there.
Thank god we have found this happiness together, thank god for our predecessors and their cleverness. I know this message is short, but I do not have any gossip or new information from my last letter.
May time fly, so you can be in my arms again my love.
Yours entirely,
Ruth
Charles was baffled and a tad embarrassed. Finding a love letter in his pantry was unexpected. Finding a love letter to his predecessor was unimaginable. He had only known Mr. Ainsworth as a gruff and intimidating man. Charles supposed he trained him well, but Charles never pictured Mr. Ainsworth having a secret love. Who could this Ruth be? A Housemaid? Certainly not, Mr. Ainsworth was even more stern and by the books then he himself. Truly baffling.
Well he would definitely show Elsie and inquire about her thoughts. Hopefully she would be well soon.
Unfortunately Elsie was not able to join the staff for the next two days. He missed her terribly and was happy to see her at breakfast that morning. She was seated at the servants dining table when he joined everyone. She immediately locked eyes with him. He could see her love. She also looked far better.
He regarded her with a nod and took his seat next to her. Breakfast started and he fully enjoyed their silent reunion.
"How are you fairing Mrs. Hughes"
"Much Better Mr. Carson"
In a quieter voice he said " I should like to talk to you when you have a free moment"
Elsie inclined her head "Yes, we will find time. No matter how busy we become" Her double meeting towards life in general not lost on him. God he missed her and her calming strong presence.
Later that day Charles invited Elsie to his pantry.
He was serving her tea and said " I have found a letter most interesting"
"From who?" She said as she took the cup from his hands.
"It's not addressed to me, but I believe the previous butler"
"Oh" she said in confusion. Taking a sip of her tea, she realized he made her cup exactly as she liked. She was impressed.
"Here let me show you" He moved to his desk and collected the letter before handing it to her. Then motioned to his bookcase "I found it behind the vinyl."
Charles moved to the seat opposite her and served himself tea.
She looked most curious and started to read.
Once finished she looked to him in surprise "Well, another secret relationship under this roof." "My, My. Maybe it's a tradition of sorts for the butlers and housekeepers to fall for one another."
"What do you mean butlers and housekeepers"
"Well you said it's addressed to the previous butler"
"Yes?"
"Charles did you never know Mrs. Smith's first name?"
"Why would I?"
"Charles!"
"What!?"
"A person's first name is their first identifying essence. How could you not have known her first name in all the years you knew each other?"
"Elsie, I don't know, I just didn't"
"Well her first name is Ruth"
Charles was stunned. To think the previous heads of the staff were involved with each other. How many other past butlers and housekeepers were involved? Maybe it was a tradition as Elsie said. A most inappropriate tradition.
Elsie noticed his stunned expression. She patted his hand "This is quite extraordinary Charles, just think we can manage. We can be together. We can make this work. How could we not when it has been done before?" She said in wonder.
"Yes Elsie," He said. His eyes sparkled with this new information. He was mesmerized. By her and their situation.
Charles clasped her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He then brought it to his lips and gave her a loving kiss.
Elsie smiled and blushed under his gaze. She then gasped because of a sudden epiphany.
"Charles the key, The Key!"
"What Key?"
"You silly man, mentioned a key in the letter. "
"Oh Yes, but a key to what?"
"I believe it is the very key that we seek, Charles" Elsie got up from her seat, went to turn the lock for his pantry door, and turned back to him. She then moved into his lap, moved her arms around his shoulders, and kissed him.
"The key that will insure we can be a true married couple" She said reluctantly pulling back.
Realization overcame Charles. He tightened his grip on her hip and with his other hand drew her head back to his for another kiss.
Elsie giggled in elation. "We must search this office for more letters"
"My poor bookcase"
Elsie sighed in fake exacerbation and hit his chest "Charles!"
He chuckled and said "I would tear this room apart if it meant a lifetime with you" Squeezing her sides to indicate that he wanted to get up. She took the hint and moved to stand.
Charles made his way to the bookcase once more. He proceeded to start moving books off the shelves.
Elsie surmised what he was doing and started to intercept his movement to the desk. She took the books from him in order to help and started making piles upon his desk.
Once all the books were disbursed Charles peeled back the vinyl. He indeed found two other letters. He turned with a smile to Elsie to show her his find.
"Well then, hand me one to read while you read the other" She reached her hand out and smiled at him.
He nodded and handed her one while he sat across from her once more.
"Unfortunately, this letter did not give more information about the key. Although it's a bit risque"
Charles raised a brow to her and said "I hope nothing truly indecent. I would hate to have that in my head"
"Oh Charles!" She laughed. "These were private letters, not meant for others' eyes. I'm sure I'll send you some rather scandalous letters in future."
Charles looked quite pleased and gave her a mischievous smile. "I guess mine was rather boring in comparison"
Elsie laughed again "Anything about the key?"
"No my dear, I'm afraid not," He said in disappointment.
"I suppose you should continue your search in here and I'll tear my pantry apart"
"Yes, good plan"
She took his hand again. She loved the new physical contact they now shared. She always wanted contact with him. It was becoming a challenge when they were not alone. Constantly keeping herself in check. Constantly being aware of her surroundings. She would not trade this new stress for him though. She desperately wanted to be his, even if in secret. She hoped he felt the same.
"Charles, I'm going to miss you. Very much." She said in a melancholic tone.
Charles stocked her hand "As I will miss you. But I'm excited for the end of the season. Marrying you will be the greatest reward for my time away."
She smiled at him "We really should solidify our plans"
"Yes my dear, you know I have requested a special licence in Thirsk. We shall meet there at the end of our respective journeys."
Charles continued " I hope we can meet four days prior to the family's return. The first three days can be our honeymoon. We can rent a room and explore Thirsk. The last day we can travel back. I don't think we will have any problem with anyone seeing us on the train. We can just say we caught the same and travel back together. "
"What a planner you are Mr. Carson"
"I can be a plotter when times call for it. You are most important to me Elsie. I want to make your dreams and mine come true." Elsie's smile brightened by his words. Tears sprang to her eyes.
"Don't cry my darling" he frantically stood to embrace her. Securing her into his arms, he ran his hand up and down her back. Trying to sooth her. He was not typically a comforting person, but he found this action came more easily with her.
She appreciated his comfort, but she pulled away and said "These are very happy tears my love, I never thought this path could be mine."
Elsie felt him kiss her hair "We will be together Elsie, mark my words."
"Yes Charles, we will." She moved further into his embrace. Cherishing his hold and love.
The day of the families and Mr. Carson's departure arrived. Elsie felt a mess. Physically and mentally. There was still much to do. Bags to pack, one more luncheon to be served, and the packing of the carriages. Her day had hardly begun, yet she felt strained already.
Elsie was about to head up to help pack the children when Charles intercepted her.
"Might I have a word Mrs. Hughes?"
"I was about to help with the children"
"It won't take but a moment" he then proceeded to guide her down to his office. Not giving her a chance to object with his hand hovering over her lower back.
Once the door was closed Charles turned and pressed her up against the door. His lips attached to hers. Elsie moaned into his month despite the surprise.. God she was going to miss him.
Their kiss lasted longer than was decent. After a while Charles pulled away "I just wanted to catch you alone, one more time before I go. We will probably not have another moment to say goodbye." he said sweetly into her ear.
She pulled him to her again and kissed him deeply. It was now his turn to moan into her mouth. Her unexpected response excited him. God he was going to miss her.
"I'm going to bloody miss you" He said aloud, kissing the corner of her mouth and then moving to her jaw.
"Mr. Carson, such language" She laughed. She enjoyed the new attention bestowed upon her person. She never knew another could make you feel so good and tingley. She gasped as he met a specific spot on her neck. She tilted her head to give him better access. All the while moving her hands about his back, exploring his body in return.
They normally didn't go this far in their affections. Sticking to hand holding, short embraces, and kisses. But perhaps their parting drove him to express himself more. Not that she minded. She could not wait for them to be married indeed!
The thought of their marriage brought her to her senses and she pulled away.
"Charles, we need to stop." She held him at arm's length and looked into his eyes. She was astonished by the want she saw in his eyes. She was about to move towards him again when he spoke.
"You are right my dear. As you can imagine I can't wait to marry you." He kissed her forehead and moved his arms around her. Content to be in her space.
"I love you and I will miss you very much," Elsie relied.
"I can't wait to meet you in Thirsk, to make you my wife." Charles said thinking of their plans. He felt giddy and prideful.
"Did you book the hotel?" She said as she rested her head on his chest. Soaking up all that she could before they were pulled apart.
"We are to stay at the Golden Fleece Hotel" Smiling into her hair.
She looked up into his eyes "The Golden Fleece? Charles, that is much too fine, too expensive."
"Don't worry my darling, I have already booked the room. No need to fret."
"Oh Charles, we have never discussed money. How have we come so far without having that conversation?"
"None of that my dear, we will figure it out. I have a bit put aside. And we will have that conversation. Just not now."
"We should probably get back to it" he signed, giving her one last squeeze before releasing her.
Elsie nodded, she didn't want to have an argument before his departure. She knew it was going to be an important conversation. They also needed to disclose to one another about their respective families.
She leaned up on her toes to kiss him goodbye.
"Goodbye Charles, I can't wait to meet you in Thirsk." She moved her hands down his arms and to his hands. She brushed her fingers through his, staying in contact as long as she could. She was about to turn and leave before he grabbed her hand and said "I love you Elsie. I'll see you in Thirsk."
He then released her. She gave him one more meaningful look and left.
Later on that day the household staff were bustling about. Most were out in the drive sorting carriages. Loading cases and strapping them down. Elsie was among them, directing which cases went to what cart.
"Peter that goes with her ladyship's carriage" she counseled one of the hall boys.
After her dear meeting with Charles, her day had been a whirlwind. Helping pack three wee ones cases was a bigger task than she anticipated. Young miss Mary was full of opinions, particularly about which dresses needed to accompany her and what toys to bring along. A few fights broke out between the two oldest about said toys. Edith wanted to bring her prized rocking horse, but Mary scolded her younger sister. Picking until the young girl started crying. This prompted Elsie to stop folding clothes and putting them into cases. She instead turned to the girls.
"Miss Edith, the rocking horse is much too big to go along. Why not pick one of your other lovely toys? You don't perhaps have a smaller horse around here?"
Edith looked into Elsie's eyes, somewhat surprised. She was not used to the new housekeeper. At four years old her dealings with household staff narrowed down to Nanny and a few others. Edith thought she had a funny accent. Not having heard her speak before now.
"But I want my big horse" Edith whined not ready to give up her fight quite yet. She rubbed at her teary eyes, but never directed her gaze from Elsie.
"I know my dear. Do you have another horse figurine you could show me? I'd very much like to see your other toys." Elsie said softly, having spotted a few toy horses in the children's toy box earlier.
Elsie smiled when Edith nodded and ran to one of the toy boxes in search of a horse to show off. All the while, Miss Mary looked on and observed the scene. Elsie was well aware of Mary's gaze upon her. She thought Mary was a bit snooty for a six year old. Mature beyond her age in some aspect, but still a child. Bickering with one's siblings was entirely normal, just not conducive for the housekeeper to organize the girls for their trip.
She was left alone with the oldest two, while Nanny packed for Miss Sybil. She didn't mind much. She wanted to finish this task and more on to the next, but was not able to leave until Nanny was back. Elsie could admit that she did not have much experience with children. Her former positions not having children within the households. Of Course she had experience with Becky, but that was entirely different. She could admit that these two were pretty cute. Especially little Edith with her sunkissed ringlets.
Edith finally found the toy she seek and toddled her way back to Elsie. She proceeded to hand Elsie the toy. Proud to show off one of her many toys.
"My, what a fine horse you have here. Looks like a horse ready for a long journey." Elsie said while turning the horse in her hand, inspecting the craftsmanship. What a lovely toy indeed. She had never had anything so fine as a child.
Edith giggled and nodded her head. Elsie indicated to Edith's case "Should I pack it now or would you like to hold onto it?"
Edith indicated with her hand that she would like it back then. Elsie placed it in Edith's small hands.
"Now Miss Mary, what toys would you like in your case?"
Mary perked up when Elsie's attention was directed at her. She looked directly into her eyes and said "I don't want any baby toys, I'd like my papers and drawing utensils."
"Yes Milady"
Elsie silently chuckled to herself. Thinking of this little girl's strong nature, trying to emulate the adults around her. Knowing the role of the first child, Elsie could sympathize.
Elsie continued the packing and once finished drew the staff bell for someone to come to the nursery. She had much to do and figured someone else could stay with the girls until Nanny was back.
Clara answered her call and Elsie left the girls in her capable hands.
Elsie was brought out of her musings by said little girls coming into the drive with their parents. The carriages now packed she indicated for the servants to line up and bid farewell to the family.
Charles was now present, having followed the family to the drive. He looked most handsome, she thought. She took him all in, trying to memorize his presents and stature.
He then looked her way and inclined his head slightly. He probably could feel her eyes on him she surmised. She did not smile, but gave a small nod back.
"Mrs. Hughes, the house is now in your hands." Said Lady Grantham. She looked Elsie up and down, as if to measure if the new housekeeper was up to the task.
"Yes Milady" She bowed her head and looked on while the family situated themselves into the carriages.
Charles looked her way once more before climbing into the front of the first carriage. She could already feel the distance between them. She felt a sudden burst of sadness. The thought of being away from him was strong and unsettling. She was somewhat reassured that he probably felt the same way.
Horses were instructed to move forward and the party went on their way.