He just stood, frozen, uncomprehending.
It was as if Yokumiru was speaking in an alien tongue, sounds audible but making not the tiniest trace of sense.
"Enji-san."
But how- How could Tartarus- Tartarus- With the worst, most powerful villains- You didn't keep anyone you didn't have to keep there-
"Enji-san."
"...what do we do now?" he asked, the whole world crumbling around him. It had crumbled once, yes, but back then it had been only his world. The only thing that he had left was at least the hope he'd help other people's worlds not to crumble. And all these efforts... ...were in vain. Their safe society was collapsing.
Yokumiru was quiet for a moment. "...I have a lot of connections overseas. A lot of specialists are observing what is currently happening in Japan, and comparing it to historic events. Their conclusions are uniform. The civil war is coming."
"...so what do we do?" Though he thought he knew the answer already.
"It's war, Enji-san. The citizens must feel they are protected."
Enji knew what Yokumiru's words would be even before he said them.
"Dead villains will not harm anyone anymore."
"...won't that prove the villains are right? That we are above the law? We kill people instead of putting them in jail?"
"Tartarus is destroyed, Enji-san. And I'm not telling you to just murder every petty criminal you come across. You know well what I mean and how to do it. You've done it before, Enji-san."
Yes, but it was when his anger had blinded him, when his fury had taken over his body before he could think twice. This... this was different.
"I don't want us to be villains either, Enji-san. But people are dying, out there."
He was right, thought Enji. The war was on their doorstep, already inside actually. The villains were wreaking havoc, the petty criminals also got emboldened. There were too many felonies happening everywhere for heroes to take care of even normally, much less now, in their weakened numbers. And the civilians started to take things into their own hands, thinking of Deika. But Deika was full of Yotsubashi's soldiers, carefully prepared for what had happened. And these people were dying, maiming themselves, killing other innocents in crossfire... Japan had fallen into the state the heroes had worked so hard to ensure would never happen again.
Enji closed his eyes. "At least, the government should declare a state of emergency."
"I know," said Yokumiru. "The Diet will debate this very matter today. But you know politicians, they are afraid of nothing more than losing support."
Enji growled.
"But they have to do it. I'll make sure of that," finished Yokumiru gravely.
"I understand. I am going back to the streets now."
"Make sure Hawks won't do anything stupid. He needs to recover."
"I will. I will bind him to the bed if necessary."
"Thank you," said Yokumiru, and Enji could hear all the sincere concern and despair bleeding into the other man's voice. Yokumiru, too, sacrificed a lot to keep this society in order. He had the same life as Hawks, if not worse. Enji could only imagine what could he feel now.
"We'll get it back, Yokumiru, we'll get the peace we were fighting all our lives for back."
888
Enji had never seen his bird as grave and quiet as he was now. No wonder, the boy always dreamed about the world in which 'heroes would have time to kill' and was rushing through every second of his life to see it as soon as possible. Enji, always the pessimist, doubted it would ever happen but he would never say it out loud to Hawks. And he had never ever wanted the world to prove Hawks wrong in such a horrible way. His thoughts again went to Shimura. How could the man enjoy what was happening now? Didn't he see all the suffering this chaos was causing? Didn't he see how tough had become the heroes' struggle to save as many kids as they could?
"We'll make it right again," he murmured to his bird, lying his hand on Hawks' much smaller one. "We won't let our efforts go to waste."
He heard the quietest of sighs. "Maybe I was stupid," murmured his boy. "Naive. I have read history books that should have taught me better. That should have taught me humans..." he sighed again. "Still, you could find safe, nurturing countries in history. There were societies with low crime rates, where even prisons were meant to help you, not to punish you. It's not impossible... or was it an exception to the rule."
"If it happened then it was possible, Hawks."
Hawks kept looking out of the window, at the roofs of the buildings, at the sky though which he couldn't soar.
"We'll make it happen," said Enji though he really didn't know if they really could. But it wasn't like he didn't want to do everything in his power for his kids or at least their kids to live in at least a tiny bit better place than they lived in. "I'll try to speak to Shimura's conscience. I saw what he is capable of doing with his Quirk during our fight with Shigaraki. He claims he wants a better world too, right?"
Hawks was still regarding the outside world darkly. It was so unlike him Enji's heart was tearing itself into pieces.
"Hawks, will make it right. We will, love."
"Ah," said Hawks. "No... I was thinking about something else..."
What else was burdening his bird's mind? Well, there was plenty to choose from and Enji hated that.
"Something else?"
Hawks sighed heavily. "D- Touya knows my name. Very few know it. And it certainly never leaked to the villain underworld. At least, not that I would know, and I am certain I would know cause someone would love to use it against me or at least to blackmail me, I'm certain of it."
Enji wasn't sure he grasped the significance.
"I understand," he said nevertheless, feeling like the thick idiot he was. Why would it bother Hawks so much?
Hawks glanced at him and smiled lightly. "Oh, Enji," he sighed and lifted Enji's hand for a light kiss. "I... I think it might have been my mother..."
Oh.
No, wait- Enji's eyes widened and his heart started hammering. Hawks nodded at that reaction.
"Can you... can you check on her? I've given you the address, right? You know where are my keys."
"I'll be there right away, love," his heart beating thunderously. The last thing his bird needed now was for his mother to have been kidnapped by the League!
888
'Dear Keigo,
I'm so sorry. Some horrible men barged into the house and threatened me about our family. So I had to tell them about you and your father. I'm really sorry. I don't want to cause you any more trouble, so I'm leaving. Please be well. I'm so very proud of you.'
Enji's eyes were on Hawks whose eyes stayed on the letter for a long time. He wanted to tell his little bird so many things but he knew better than to disturb the boy now. Finally, Hawks folded the paper and put it away, his eyes again on the sight outside.
"What do you think I should do?" he finally asked Enji quietly.
"You stay here and recover. I'll find her. I'll make sure she is safe."
"...yeah, that is probably what should be done," murmured Hawks but his expression fell.
"Love?"
"Yeah, that is what a good son should do," Hawks' voice was even quieter now.
"Hawks, sweetheart," whispered Enji.
"Yeah, we should do that," replied Hawks heavily.
"What is wrong, love?" Enji wondered, not for the first time, why would Hawks even want to be with someone as insensitive as him. He so often had no idea what his bird was thinking, had no idea how to help.
Hawks was quiet for some time. "No, it's nothing, Enji, love. It's nothing."
"Hawks, please, you promised to be honest. You know me."
"Oh, Enji, you are a good man, you are. I'll try to be better too."
Better? That was some sort of a hint, wasn't it?
"Better? Hawks, you always were great! It is not your fault they have tracked her down somehow, with her new name! It is the very fact it happened only now that shows how well she was protected!"
Hawks sighed.
"Let's just try to find her," he said despondently.
"I'll find her, I promise! You concentrate on your recovery, love. This is crucial. Don't risk getting out yet, please."
"I won't," growled Hawks and Enji could see him startle and immediately regret this small outburst.
"Hey," said Enji. "It will be okay, it-"
"Oh, Enji, it's not that!"
Enji fell quiet as he saw Hawks' face brimmed with pain.
"I... the thing is, Enji, that I... don't want to search for her." The anguish screamed now from his bird's whole posture. "I... I want her to be gone, Enji. From my life. I... hated visiting her. I hated that... my past is still there, in front of me." Enji never knew that, never even suspected that. He, of course, wasn't blind nor stupid – the visits to the woman who had neglected her own child so much had to be painful but he still never thought Hawks loathed her so much. His Hawks, always so kind, forgiving, simply good. Better than Enji. "I look at her and I can't stop thinking about that day... when she was just sitting on the station's floor and shouting at me, five-year-old, to go steal some money for us. To take the place of my father. I was a five-year-old. I remember when she would just beg my father to stop when... but she wouldn't try to stop him. I kept telling myself she's just broken, that they both were broken, when I was a kid. But Enji..."
There was an anguished pause.
"...I hate them. I was glad to be gone to the Commission. I hadn't looked back for years. I hadn't been visiting her for years. I wanted to forget that she ever was part of my life. ...some hero I am, Enji. Playing a good guy but this is who I am." His bird buried his face in his hands. He wasn't crying but the pain was screaming from every cell of his body.
"Hawks, love, sweetheart, you have the right, love."
"Enji, would you like any of your kids to do it? To just hate you and leave you forever?"
"If this was better for them, yes," said Enji decisively. It would pain, it would make him hate himself even more, but his children's well-being was everything. Why even bother being a parent if you thought differently?
Hawks looked at him. "You... you don't really think that, Enji. I know you and I saw how badly you love them. You want nothing more than for them to forgive you and love you," the words were soft and not accusing.
"No, love. I mean, yes, I want that, of course I do. I love them and they are everything to me. But exactly because I love them I want them to be happy. I don't want them to be burdened by me. I told this to Natsuo when he met me. I told him-"
"I know," sighed Hawks. "I was listening in."
Enji blinked, suprised.
"I'm sorry, but... with the situation with my mother... and then I met you and saw how hard you work to... atone for things. And I looked at Natsuo and thought about myself and my attitude to her... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."
"It's okay, love, you did not hear anything I wouldn't tell you if you asked," he kissed the blond hair.
"Still, I shouldn't have done that... very bad habit of mine."
"Hawks, it's okay."
Hawks took the letter again and unfolded it.
"'Please be well. I'm so very proud of you.'", he read again, quietly. "You see? She... she is trying. ' I don't want to cause you any more trouble'. And I just... I just hate her, Enji. I am not half as good a person as you or your kids," he whispered.
"She made you hate her, little bird. You love Yokumiru, right? You've been through hell with him and you love him. You never even hated the president or the Commission. So, you're not a bad person, love. It just shows what you had been through with your parents. What they have done."
But Hawks did not look convinced, his fingers tugging lightly at the paper in his hands. Then he leaned towards Enji and Enji buried him in his arms. The boy was so tiny without his wings. He wanted to seal him off in his arms forever, away from any pain and sadness and harm.
"...but I want to be better than that," he heard a quiet voice. "I don't want to die hating her. She... she'll never truly change and my past... I can't forget it. But I... don't want to die knowing I pushed her away."
"Hawks. You owe her nothing. She is your parent. She owed you everything." And what had she done? She had let her kid get raped, repeatedly, for food. She would just sit there and stare at the TV and do nothing when she had a tiny child she had been responsible for. She made Hawks believe life with Commission wasn't all that bad, compared to what he had been through. "And she let your life become hell. Her own child. My children forgave me, Hawks, but I have never done anything even remotely horrible to them as she did to you."
"But she did nothing," sighed Hawks. "That was the thing. She never did a thing."
"No, not even when your dad hurt you."
Hawks was quiet.
"Still... I want to be better than that," he finally said, repeating his previous words.
"Not at the expense of your own well-being, love. I can't let you do that."
"But in the long term... I'd end up hating myself. So..."
"Alright, love. I'll search for her."
Small arms tightened around him. "Thank you, Enji. This is... this is why I chose you. Nobody could even begin to understand... in no one I'd find support like in you. Thank you. I am blessed by you."
By Enji. By fucked up, thick, gauche Enji. He swallowed thickly.
"You're so stupid, birb. You are the best person that ever existed and I'll never stop wondering why are you with me."
888
"I just... don't want to endanger anyone," said his Izuku looking distressed and despondent. "He is after me. He is out of Tartarus. He is going to attack Yuuei for sure. And Yuuei is supposed to be a safe haven for civilians now."
"Zuku, love, this is supposed to be the safest place to be and this is exactly why you should be there."
"Dad, you saw All for One's power. All Might barely managed to defeat him."
"All Might had a grave injury."
"Yes, received in a battle with All for One."
"All for One can't even exist without his respirator and Shigaraki is incomplete."
"We don't know that, Dad. All for One might have found a way to make it work."
"Do you think he would? Shigaraki doesn't want to be controlled by him, he struggled, I heard that. All for One won't trust him."
Izuku fell quiet, his eyes turning distant. "I know, I saw him," he finally said. "When our Quirks touched I saw All for One trying to take him over, to squash him. He hated that. I... he was full of madness and hatred but deep inside there was a part of him that screamed for help."
"You're such a good kid, Izuku," murmured Enji worriedly. "But maybe be careful with that?"
"You yourself wanted to convince him he is but a victim, I remember that, Dad."
Enji sighed. "Yes, I know, and it could have cost us lives."
"But it didn't," said Izuku stubbornly. "He could have set Machia on us but he left."
"I'd kill him if he did that." Would he be quick enough though? If Shigaraki had ordered Machia to kill them who knew if the giant would not have managed to kill someone before Best Jeanist arrived? They all were good enough to escape the powerful Number Two and the heroes supporting him after all. He could see in Izuku's eyes he was thinking the same.
"Still, Izuku you can't take any chances. Even if he can't steal your Quirk he can force you to give it up and you saw for yourself he's obsessed with that. He thought about nothing but you during that battle. Yuuei would be the best place for you."
"Dad, Yuuei is supposed to be a shelter for civilians now. And you know what they are saying on the campus?"
Enji felt anger rising its head in his chest. What kind of problem did people have with this purest child, this perfect hero who would gladly die for all of them, who wanted to save even Shigaraki? "I don't."
"They know All for One is after me. They're scared. They don't want me there."
"Who cares about their yapping!" barked Enji before he could stop himself, now furious. Those ingrateful-
"Dad."
He took a deep breath. "I know. They're terrified. They're just civilians." They're a bunch of morons. "I get it. Still, that's no reason for you to live outside of Yuuei."
"Dad, you don't get it. They're afraid to move into Yuuei. People are dying because they won't take shelter thinking their homes are safer. My staying there means people will die."
'Stupid people will die,' thought Enji angrily. People who don't even think twice about his boy who... he sighed. He was thinking in circles now, letting his anger cloud his judgment. Of course, they were scared to be near someone targeted by All for One and Shigaraki and Machia. They too had the kids they loved. Fuck.
"...but you'll be by my side all the time."
Izuku's face brightened up.
"And when I decide you're going back to Yuuei, you're going back to Yuuei."
"Dad-"
"Only on that condition, Zuku!"
Zuku's face went mulish.
"Zuku."
"Fine," mumbled Zuku, and Enji had a bad feeling his beloved child would still do what he thought was right, no matter what Enji asked of him.
"Zuku, love, you can't die. You know that. I just want to ensure that, love."
"Okay, Dad," sighed Izuku.
There was one more thing.
"Zuku, love... this will be different than our usual heroing. The power of villains is overwhelming, it will take some time before we rebuild Tartarus," Like it hadn't been proven Tartarus was nothing to Shigaraki, Machia, and All for One. "The society is in panic... we..." It was hard to tell to this purest boy. Damn, even hardened and much less empathetic than Izuku Enji hated this especially when he thought about Kurogiri's, Shimura's, and Shigaraki's past. They were supposed to be heroes, not villains after all. "We'll sometimes have to choose... more permanent solution. There might be no other way in this state of things."
Izuku stared at him with big, uncomprehending eyes.
"Izuku, I am sure we'll encounter situations when we'll have to... when we will have no other choice than to kill a villain. This is war, Zuku, love. Of course, I don't expect you to do anything like that, but you'll be witness to... horrible things."
His Zuku blinked, once, and twice, very slowly, a frown slowly dawning on his face.
"Dad, I understand you might not see another option, but we're heroes."
He recalled Izuku's reflection on Yokumiru's internship. 'I want to be a light even to villains. I don't want to be their enemy. They're people.' He had realized back then that maybe this really wasn't a job for his pure child. He should become a doctor or a therapist. He would get himself killed out there because he was too kind, too sympathetic.
"Zuku, villains will not hesitate even for a second to use your kindness against you. To search for a moment of hesitation and kill you, love. You don't deserve to die more than them."
"Dad, I knew I was taking up a dangerous job. You can die everywhere, at any moment. Dad... dad wasn't even killed in action."
Enji's heart tightened at the thought of Sparkle.
"He was killed only because he was a hero. Because there are people who hate and fear us. They wouldn't want to kill us if they believed us, if they knew we want to help them."
"Zuku, love, you are right, and I'd agree with you in a normal situation, but this is a civil war, love, this is something else. You can't survive war without killing people, as horrible as this is."
Izuku's eyes turned to look at the trees in Yuuei's campus, at huddling together anxious group of civilians whispering in scared voices the news from Musutafu, talking about heroes, wondering if their apartments were still intact, musing if it wouldn't be better to try to try to flee overseas.
"Dad. If we start killing people this will be All for One's win. He wanted it from the very beginning. To show there is no difference between villains and heroes. That there is no point in such a concept as 'hero' at all. That all this is evil and corrupt and it's everyone looking out only for themselves world. We can't prove that he is right, Dad. We'll lose the moment we do it, Dad. Even if we kill him, we kill Shigaraki, the new world will be the world he would want."
"Izuku-"
But Izuku's eyes turned determined, hard as steel. "Dad, I won't force you to do what you think is not right, what you think endangers someone. But I will not fight like that. I won't. I love you, Dad, I respect you and I don't and ever will think lesser of you because of the blood spilled, but you're wrong."
And suddenly he jumped high in the air and was gone in a split of second.
Enji stared after his boy for a second uncomprehending what just had happened. He'd never just run away from Enji during any sort of discussion.
Enji must have had fucked up greatly this time.
He immediately reached for his phone to hastily type an apology. But would it be enough? What could it change?
Then a reply that filled him with horror came. 'I'll be fighting alone, Dad. I'll be fine. Don't worry. I won't let him catch me.'
'What have I done!'
No, no, no, no!
He started typing in at lightning speed again. 'No, Zuku, please, you can't, he wants that, he'll find you, this is a perfect opportunity! I swear I won't kill any villain, we'll do it your way, Zuku, I promise, please, come back, I beg you, he'll kill you if you're gonna be alone, Zuku!'
He sent it and started thinking fervently how else he could convince his child.
'Shouto will never forgive me that I made you go out there alone, you know he won't! Fuyumi will kill me! Zuku, please, I won't sleep a second knowing you're out there!'
No reply.
He needed to call Yokumiru. And Toshinori. And Nezu. God, and where was Shimura?! He needed him so badly now, that their world crumbled and the m-
He saw Izuku jumping his way back to him.
Oh God. He evaporated a tear of relief.
"Sorry, Dad," his boy murmured guiltily. "I didn't want to make you feel that way but we really can't-"
Enji just crushed him in his arms. "We'll do it your way, I swear, just don't ever do this again. Don't ever think of fighting alone, promise me that."
"I promise," and Enji could hear the sincerity in those words and could feel Zuku's arms holding him tightly.
888
Enji stared at the small group in front of him, all the boys but Izuku looking at him defiantly. Izuku looked defeated.
"No," he said immediately. He was not endangering all of them.
"We're not asking you," replied Shouto calmly. "If we're adult enough to have provisional hero licenses, we're adult enough to make decisions."
Izuku sighed.
"You're teenagers."
"The government should have thought its laws through, then," said Shouto, completely unmoved.
"Kids, this is beyond dangerous-"
"-and that's why we'll be there to save your sorry asses!" snapped Katsuki, small explosions igniting around his hands. "You've fucking seen us fight with Shigaraki already! Exactly what are we worse at than most of those pathetic excuses for the heroes around us!"
Enji looked into those eyes, blue of Tenya's, red of Katsuki's, blue and steely of Shouto's. All of them holding unwavering resolution.
"You all intend to defy the orders of very Number One and follow us no matter what," Enji more stated then asked.
"Of course not!" lied Tenya trying to sound as earnest as he could. When did this boy learn to lie? Probably recently since he was very bad at it.
"You bet we will!" snarled Katsuki.
"Look at you, displaying signs of intelligence, old man," said Shouto, his face completely impassive.
"You still need permission from Nezu."
"I'm sure you'll get it for us, old man," said Shouto completely shamelessly.
"You. Want me. Who is absolutely against it. To get you permission to do something I forbid you to."
"Yes," said Shouto completely undeterred.
"Have you thought about Izuku?" Enji used his biggest guns now. "What if something happens to you?"
"Have you thought about us? What if something happens to Izuku?" replied Tenya. He had apparently spent too much time around those little smartas- Around his kids.
"WHAT?!" roared Katsuki. "LIKE HE IS BETTER THAN US OR WHAT?!"
Enji started rubbing his temples. At least this way he would have them where he could see them. One should concentrate on the pros, one had to.
"You will listen to my orders, always. Even when you think you know better. You shall retreat when I tell you to."
"Like fuck I'm gonna retreat," growled Katsuki.
"Then you're outta this team this very moment."
"Old man, Katsuki has a point. His sacrifice will buy us precious time to escape. The heart of a very noble hero speaks through him."
"Niichan."
Enji glared at Shouto.
"It was just a joke," Shouto heaved a heavy long sigh. "You people have such a feeble sense of humor."
888
In the end, they had proven they had learned well. His boys worked like a perfectly tuned instrument, knowing well what was forte of each of them, and what were weaknesses. They listened to him too, not giving him any reason to worry this was a foolish idea. They combed the city for villains together and every action ended in seconds, minutes at worst with successful apprehension. People had been booing them, just like they had been booing every hero but soon it ceased. Enji heard a lot of voices of criticism towards everyone, from politicians to other heroes, but their particular group was welcomed everywhere grudgingly but without the aggression other heroes were experiencing. To Enji's utter surprise, more and more voices on the Internet started claiming it was Endeavor that should have been Number One instead of All Might and then it wouldn't come to this. Enji saw absolutely zero logic in this. During All Might's times, Japan was peaceful. All Might made villains drop their weapons and turn off their Quirks with his very presence. Everything had crumbled when he had been defeated and the baton had been passed to Enji. So, how could they think that? He kept reading the comments searching for an answer. Apparently, some people thought it was the eternal anger Enji showed to everyone that would have spoken better to villains. They were saying All Might's unceasing grin was proof he supported this world ignoring the cracks that finally led to its collapse. They also said Enji had been always more efficient, taking care of small cases, uprooting the problem at its source, helping citizens in their everyday struggle, not concentrating only on great villains and big catastrophes. They were pointing out the Commission counted too much on only one person and that Endeavor showed that teamwork was what was most important (him? teamwork? Everybody knew he was horrible at that, right?). They were speaking about Endeavor's defeat from All for One and emphasizing that even if Endeavor wasn't as strong as All Might he'd still get up no matter how badly beaten up and he would still do everything he could with what he had, not only relying on his own abilities but being able to lead effective teams.
It made no sense.
It was horribly unfair to Toshinori too.
In the past, these kinds of words would have made Enji beyond joyous, now it just sounded wrong.
But then again, at least people started to have some sort of symbol again. They started to have a hero to look up to, despite the very dark times. It was important, even if their reasoning wasn't exactly right or kind.
Still, he did his best to criticize 'all this bullshit' whenever Toshinori and Hawks visited them in one of their safe apartments, bringing them whatever they needed, especially warm homemade food the boys devoured (even if Katsuki would always pick holes in it). Toshinori had not sacrificed his whole goddamn life to saving people, to have to listen to all this now. The blond kept assuring Enji he was used to criticism and all that mattered was that people saw Enji's hard work but Enji would still show his support to him, the man deserved that. All the boys would always back him up in this, especially Izuku, and Toshinori could claim all he wanted he did not care about whiners on the Internet but Enji could see clearly how happy this support was making him. Fucking stupid Internet idiots.
This was how a couple of weeks passed. They were fighting on the streets, slowly and methodically reducing the numbers of criminals, spending the evenings listening to Tsukauchi, Yokumiru or Hawks' reports on what they had managed to discover about Shigaraki (nothing substantial), dreaming uneasy dreams during the night. Enji had not managed to locate Hawks' mother – the turmoil made it impossible. There were no neighbors to ask, no police force to spare in order to search for one missing person. Shimura also did not make any contact with him.
Until one night he did.
Enji had just ended all his family calls – to Okinawa, to his other kids (and Untenmaru who was with them now in Yuuei), and to Hawks, when Shimura appeared in his bedroom, unceremoniously like always, his face displeased. Had he finally realized Enji was right about upturning the society's peace?
"Bird's mother is dead," said Shimura without any preamble. "Dabi found her. Burnt her to a crisp. He sent pictures to Hawks but luckily I intercepted them."
All Enji's thoughts about yelling at the other man for the sea of blood that was spilling because they hadn't killed Shigaraki dispersed. Hawks.
"He still should probably know."
Probably? Shimura truly had no idea what parents were to you. Well, not that Enji blamed him but still, how insensitive could one be?
"He should definitely know," barked Enji. God, Hawks.
"I hope the idiot won't be blaming himself. They'd get her anyway. With her stupidity, it would be hard not to."
Enji's teeth gritted.
"Are you happy? Look at what is happening! Look at all the people dying! Children dying! We should have killed Shigaraki while we could! And don't tell me you couldn't kill All for One either! You could have reached Tartarus with your Quirks! You could have made the guns malfunction and showered him with bullets!"
Shimura sent him an annoyed look.
"Children are dying all the fucking goddamn time all over the fucking goddamn world. Which is perfectly normal and acceptable and you can't do a thing about it unless it's the first-world, middle-class children, then, oh my God, we need to stop this slaughter of innocents!"
"Shimura," growled Enji. "How exactly killing first-world, middle-class children will save third-world poor children from dying?"
"I have told you," replied Shimura irritably. "You need to demolish a house to build a new one."
"It's gonna be exactly the same one!" spat Enji bitterly.
"You should fucking change your hero name from Endeavor to Resigned or Compliant," Shimura snapped back and disappeared.
Enji huffed angrily to himself only to see Shimura reappearing again.
"Just don't forget, in all that righteous indignation at me, about Hawks."
"Like I would!" he snarled.
"Tell that stupid bird it's not his fault and he was always a son much better than those two trash deserved." Shimura looked like he was about to spit with disgust for a second but then just disappeared again.
Enji blinked. So did the villain care about the two of them, despite how he was behaving? The memory of Shimura hovering by his side back then, the night after he had found out about Touya, recurred. Why had he? He had come with no sensible reason and stayed longer than usual even though he hadn't have anything to say. Even then Enji had found it strange and unlike him.
So, did he care?
Enji sighed. No matter. Villains' minds were something completely else. He might care for Enji and Hawks. He might want a better world. And at the same time, he loved the destruction he saw. He did not mind sacrificing innocent civilians for his cause. It was better not to ponder too much. Enji owed him, yes, and he would do his best to help him but he wouldn't have too much hope it was possible at all. And in this very moment, it was Hawks that mattered.
888
"I need to meet you today, as soon as possible, Hawks."
"Sure. What happened?"
Enji fell silent. "...we'll talk in private."
"Ah, alright. Is it something bad?"
"...I don't want to tell you this on the phone." Damn, Enji was bad at this, making Hawks worry even before he even told him anything at all. Ideally, he would prefer to simply drop by police headquarters where Hawks was usually spending the nights but in the current situation there was no schedule the bird was following so Enji needed to arrange the meeting.
"...okay, Enji. Did someone... die?"
Fuck this shit. Enji wasn't able to just wait to tell him though he knew he should, he knew he should be by his bird's side when the boy hears it. But he just couldn't stand thinking about Hawks waiting impatiently for whatever ominous message Enji was going to deliver. He couldn't stand knowing the boy's mother was dead while the boy did not know about it.
"It's your mother, Hawks. Tell me where you are and I will be there immediately."
888
His bird wasn't crying. He just kept looking out of the window of one of the safe apartments that was nearest to the place he had been in when he received Enji's call, his eyes more tired than Enji had ever seen. He was sitting in Enji's lap and all Enji could do was hold his tightly, since what words could soothe the pain?
"...I thought I'd be relieved. All my life there was a part of me, barely conscious, that hoped something would happen to her. That she will be gone. ...but I'm not happy."
"I know the feeling, love," murmured Enji. "There was nothing that could be done," he added, doubting these words could actually help in any way. "You gave her everything you could. You gave her a job and house and therapy and a new identity. You protected her best you could."
"Funny. I always thought I would be a bad son if I never visited her. But if I never did, no one would find the connection. She would be alive."
"Hawks, love, you know you can't say that. They might have found her anyway. And didn't she want your visits?"
Hawks nodded slowly. "Yeah. I know she was happy to see me... very pained, always awkward, often unwittingly unpleasant, struggling with depression and guilt and anxieties, and, maybe, I don't know... her feelings seemed so complicated. She so easily got hurt with everything, like when she wasn't part of our wedding. But I know she wanted to keep seeing me. I could feel it." Hawks sighed. Enji took one of his hands and kissed it.
"And you, Enji, how are you?"
"I'm okay, love. Think about yourself."
"Enji."
Enji fell into stubborn silence. This wasn't about him, it was about Hawks. And besides, there was no lying to yourself – it was Enji's fault Touya killed her.
"Enji, please. Touya chose his way. He chose to become a murderer. To kill the mother of a man his father loves. It's what he chose to be. It is not your fault, Enji."
"Hawks, don't think about me now, love."
"I will. I will think about you more than I will think about my mother. I love you, Enji, and I don't want to see you hurting yourself anymore. Enji. It is not your fault. I am her son, her only family, and I, of all people, have the most right to tell you it isn't your fault."
"I will be fine," murmured Enji since what else could he say?
"We will be fine," repeated Hawks tiredly. "Let's promise ourselves that."
888
It had been a while since he had seen his boys chattering animatedly like that (well, Katsuki was grumbling, as usual).
"Her Quirk will truly turn tables!"
"Yes, that power is not something even All for One could trifle with!"
"I know it's ridiculous but I really wish she'd sign my notebook."
"For fuck's sake, stupid nerd, you and your stupid notebooks!"
"It really feels like the dawn is coming, isn't it?"
"What are you, a poet now?"
"It certainly does."
"How is she like, All Might, in person?"
"Amazing," Toshinori beamed. "Truly kind, smart, dedicated to her mission. There are a lot of good, kind people out there but once in a while you meet someone whose character outshines them all like a diamond," he looked at Izuku fondly while saying that.
It was hard not to smile listening to this conversation. It was hard not to feel optimistic.
Star and Stripes was coming to help them, after all.
888
Additional scenes
888
Hawks was turning a bowl of tea in his hands slowly. On the other side of a small chabudai was Yokumiru, his eyes on the younger man. They were full of compassion and concern.
"Well, it wasn't like I loved her or anything," murmured Hawks. "...I'm just being emotional."
"I'm not judging you, little bird. When I wanted you to cut all your ties and forget about her, it wasn't me judging you to be emotional or wanting you to be a better agent. I wanted you to be happy. You know you deserve it, my ray of sun."
Hawks smiled weakly. "'Ray of sun.' It sounds so weird in your mouth, Micchan. Nobody'd believe it if I told them. I love it."
Yokumiru's face softened. "I have no idea what you mean by that. Are you saying I am a person considered incapable of showing feelings?"
"Who, you, nev-"
The explosion shattered a bulletproof window. A woman jumped inside, her turned into a rifle arm immediately aiming at Hawks.
And then blood exploded from her head as a bullet hit her straight to her temple. Her body fell forward heavily.
Both men stared at the familiar figure, their eyes wide, the realization of how nearly they were missed by death visibly sinking in.
A silver-haired man wearing a worn-out black tracksuit was standing in a corner of the room.
"I just killed a woman I wholeheartedly understood. A woman broken by the Commission, a woman that saw this rotten hero world for what it was. A woman you people put in Tartarus because you were too scared of her, her abilities, her knowledge. After all the years she had served you."
"Shimura..." said Hawks quietly. "She..."
"I know," barked the other man. "That's why she's dead. You, little bird, never deserved to die. She should have never done this. But you, Commission trash-" he turned to Yokumiru. "You'd better start working very hard to repay me for saving your disgusting hide."
And he was gone.
888
All for One was displeased, Spinner could see that.
"So, our little plan to make Deku rash, to lure him out of his little hero party by killing his dad, proved unsuccessful." The man uttered a long sigh. "To think someone as accomplished and driven as her failed such a simple task. That must have been a particular bad luck ...or they truly protect their president well. Surprisingly well, I would say. Are they hiding an ace in their sleeve? Well, after taking care of their American friend, we will have to find out."
Author's Notes
Sorry, dear Tenya fans, that I haven't rewritten previous chapters yet. I will, I promise. Not that he will do a lot, but he will still be fighting bravely alongside Shouto.
Those of you surprised by Hawks' attitude to his mother. I was just rereading the corresponding chapters of the manga and paid much more attention than when I read it a long time ago. What is hard not to notice is that canon Hawks is sort of relieved his mother is gone, even though at the same time, he feels bad about himself for feeling that. And I think it tells a lot when you are glad your mother is gone, especially in such dangerous times, and especially someone as helpless as her.
Also, sorry to all you Lady Nagant's fans :(. I don't think in this AU, in those circumstances, she would be sent after Izuku, not when he is as bamf as he is, and with the team he is part of. But killing Hawks would certainly make Izuku do something stupid, at least, this is what AfO hoped for.