Katara
I decide to sleep outside by the fire with Zuko, letting Jaing and Shin Lu use our tent. Something's going on with Zuko, what I don't know. He's been quiet the whole trip up to this point, but ever since he left the tent after Jaing told us her son's name, he won't even make eye contact with me.
It probably had to do with having to pretend that we're married. I figured when he didn't try to set the record straight after their assumption, he wouldn't appreciate me doing so either. He can't exactly go around telling people he's the son of the Fire Lord, and trying to explain things would only raise questions that might be hard to answer.
I don't like how much I enjoyed the idea of children when Jaing asked the Spirits to bless us. A little boy with brown hair and tan eyes, a little girl with raven locks and blue orbs. A Water Bender and a Fire Bender. I try to shake the thoughts out of my head. Unless Zuko changes sides, which he's adamant he won't, it's something that could never happen. I may care far more for the Fire Prince than I ever wanted to, or ever will admit, but I'll never be a traitor.
As time passes throughout the night, I lay cold on my sleeping mat. The cave is drafty, and we can't make the fire any bigger without smoke filling the cavern. I knew that the nights get cold here while the days get hot, but I didn't know how nice the tent has been this whole time.
I open my eyes, looking at Zuko who's laying on his side facing away from me. He's let me have the tent the whole time. Sure, he's a fire bender, but he can't regulate his body temperature when he's sleeping. He's been giving me the luxury of privacy in the tent while he's out in the cold all night every night. He swears up and down he's not going to join us, so why is he so kind to me?
I turn around and hug my arms close to my chest, trying to get warm enough to go to sleep. I think about back home, curling up on furs and skins next to the fire when we sleep, and how cozy it is. Or sleeping in my sleeping bag in Appa's saddle, with the whooshing of the wind lulling me to sleep. I even think of my bedroom on Zuko's ship, and how comfortable my bed was while the ocean rocked the boat, making it easy to lull off.
I don't know how much time passes with me hugging myself and counting penguins when I suddenly feel Zuko's very warm boy press against my back with his arm around my waist. He puts his other hand over my mouth before I can cry out in surprise.
"Don't read into it. They think we're married anyways, and you're shivering. Don't try to deny it." He says and takes his hand off my mouth.
"That doesn't mean it's ok for you to hold me like this!" I whisper, my face flaming.
"Fine. I'm not going to force you to stay, Katara. If you want to move, go sleep on my mat." He tells me. My heart is pounding out of my chest, and it annoys me that I'm pretty sure he can feel it.
I start to get up, but the second my skin separates from his I remember how cold it is. I really won't get any sleep on my own.
"Don't make this a habit, Zuko." I say and shift back against him, blushing as I enjoy the embrace.
"Whatever you say, Water Princess." He mumbles in my ear, making a rush go through my body. Nestled in his warmth, and feeling safe in his strong arms, I finally start drifting off to sleep. I think Zuko says something else, but by then I'm too far gone to catch it.
…..
Shin Lu makes everyone breakfast when we get up the next morning. They invite us back to their village with them, assuring us it's well hidden and out of Fire Nation control, but we tell them we need to head on. I use my water to heal Jaing's body so they can go ahead and make the journey back, and they set off.
"They were nice." I say as I break down the tent to pack it up.
"I guess."
"You guess? Zuko they named their son after you!"
"Only sorta."
"It may not have been your real name but it's the name you gave them."
"Okay they were great. But now we're like a day and a half behind. Can we just get going?"
"Someone's testy." I roll my eyes.
"Not all of us slept as well as you did last night." He says, making me blush.
He's not wrong, I got the best night of sleep I've had in weeks last night. I didn't even have any nightmares, only dreams. But they were dreams about Zuko, so he's never going to hear about it. I cough and clear my throat.
"Thanks for keeping me warm. I actually did sleep really well last night. I'm sorry you didn't. Sokka told me I'm a pain to sleep around."
"No, that…wasn't it." He says, looking at the ground. "Let's just get going." He says and finishes shoving the last of our stuff in his knapsack and getting up, walking briskly out of the cave.
"Well thanks for waiting up." I mutter sarcastically and scramble to follow after him. "Shin Lu told me that if we're traveling to Ba Sing Se we should keep going this way. It'll take us a little out of our way, but there are plenty of caves to give us shelter and he said a few even have natural springs inside of them.
"Fine." Zuko grumbles, then readjusts his pack and keeps walking. I jog to catch up to his quick strides.
"You've been carrying the pack every day for over a week. I'm over the Desert Sickness now, I could-"
"No." He cuts me off. I roll my eyes, thinking of Sokka.
"Do all guys think their masculinity is threatened if a girl dares offer her help?"
"That's not why." He says. "Can we just walk without talking for a while? I could use the quiet." He walks ahead before I can answer.
"Spirits he's hot and cold." I breathe, exasperated, and jog to catch up again. He goes from holding me prisoner to saving my life from lightning, kissing me then burning me, tracking us and fighting me to saving me from the desert and now from holding me all night so I could sleep to not even talking to me. Am I ever going to figure this moody firebender out?
We keep walking until dusk in silence like he asks, and he eventually slows his stride so I don't have to jog to keep up. My thoughts won't stop turning, though. Zuko, Aang, Sokka, Toph, Gran Gran, and Dad all go through my mind.
What are they all doing? Is there a way to get Zuko to switch sides or is it a fool's errand? Why was he banished? How did he get his scar?
Also, why does my heart keep beating faster whenever he looks at me? Why can't I help but notice how good he looks with his hair growing out? Why with all the awful stuff he's done to us can't I stop thinking about how it felt when he kissed me? Why does it hurt so bad that he clearly has moved on when I need to be doing the same thing? But when I close my eyes I just see him without a shirt with me straddling his lap, each of us kissing the other so deeply we're hardly two separate people anymore.
I snap out of my thoughts as thunder rumbles above us. I look up, and black storm clouds are rolling in, blocking out the sun.
"Guess we're making camp here." I say and go to grab the knapsack, brushing his muscular shoulder.
"Why would we do that?" He grumbles, continuing to walk. I step in front of him, gently putting my hands on his chest to make him stop. he flinches but doesn't pull away. I know I'm being stupid but it's like I'm being propelled by some invisible force! Ever since last night, the pull to be touching him is a thousand times stronger.
"Zuko it's going to be pouring any minute. I may be a water bender but even I can't stop rain." I tell him.
"Fine." He grunts, setting down the pack and gets to work setting up the tent. right as he finishes the rain starts to fall, lightly then harder. I'm surprised to see he still sets up his bedroll outside the tent.
"Zuko are you crazy?!" I yell at him over the rain and wind. "Just get inside the tent! You slept next to me last night it can't be that bad!"
"That was to keep you warm, Katara. Your benefit, not mine."
"You'll be the one freezing if you stay out in this!"
"That's my problem, not yours. Just get inside the tent." I grit my teeth and clench my fists, but don't respond right away. Finally, I make an overhang of ice to protect him from the downpour, bend him and his bedding dry and go inside the tent.
"That won't hold forever." I tell him. "Go ahead and freeze." I close the tent flap and try to get some sleep.
…..
I sleep, but not well. My body's resting but I can still hear everything going on around me, Including Zuko's constant tossing and turning. But I gave him an ice roof, and I told him the tent's open if he needs it. So if he wants to sleep on the cold wet ground, that's up to him.
I am worried about him, though, which is why I can't fall more than half asleep. It's also why I'm able to immediately wake up when in the middle of the night he finally comes inside.
"Zuko!" I say, sitting up. The poor Fire Bender's shivering and soaking wet. He looks sheepish.
"I thought you'd be asleep. I was going to just get dry and leave before you woke up."
"I told you, you can stay in the tent." I say and bend him dry, sending the water back outside.
"Thanks. He mutters, pulling his knees to his chest.
"I wish you had come in sooner."
"Don't say that, Katara, or I'm going back out in the rain."
"You have got to be the most stubborn person alive." I roll my eyes. "Why is it so hard to let People care about you?!" I blush at my own words, but I don't take them back. I do care about him, wether I want to or not. But Zuko just clenches his fists.
"Katara. Stop."
"Stop what? Caring about you? Sorry, I can't! I wish I could hate you Zuko! I should! You're the prince of the Fire Nation for Spirit's sake! But for whatever reason, maybe it's because despite everything you've done you've saved my life twice, maybe because even though you won't tell me what happened I know you're hurting, missing your family and your home even if it is the Fire Nation, but I can't help it. I care about you, Zuko! So yeah, I'd rather have you warm and dry in the tent than outside soaked and shivering!" I scoot closer to him, and push him against the side of the tent wall. "Stop pushing me away. It hurts. Please." I tell him, cursing myself for the treasonous words spilling out of my mouth, but not taking them back. Zuko's tan eyes just stare into mine in the darkness, hesitant and searching. Then clear.
"Spirits Damn it, Katara." He says, then grabs the back of my head, weaving his fingers into my hair and pulls me into a kiss. It shocks me at first, but not like it did on his ship. So this time, I don't use bending to knock him away from me, even though it would be so easy under a full moon with all this rain.
I surrender to the heat running through my body and kiss him back, moving my hands in his hair and on his neck.
"For Spirit's sake, Zuko!" I breathe in between the kisses.
"It's your fault." He growls, making me even hotter.
I don't know how long it is before we finally break apart, or even who it is that stopped the kiss. But we just stare at each other in the darkness, until he finally breaks the silence.
"I'm not a traitor, Katara. No matter how much you want me to be." His words stab me with hurt and frustration, but not surprise.
"I know. I'm not either." I whisper.
"This is why I've been sleeping outside." He groans, dragging his hand over his face. "You're too hard to resist."
"So that's why you've been so distant and quiet? You've been trying to…resist me?" I ask.
"Yeah. It's why I Didn't want you to come with me."
"I thought you hated me."
"I know. I thought it was better you thought that. I thought you hated me too. But You're not the only one with feelings here, Katara. Clearly."
"But neither of us is willing to switch sides." I sigh. He's quiet for a minute.
"No." He finally whispers.
"So where does that leave us?" I ask quietly, stroking his hair then without thinking lean forward and start kissing his jaw, his neck, and gently biting his ear. He growls and tosses his head back.
"I don't think I can keep my distance anymore unless you keep it from me."
"I don't think I can either. Not after this."
"So we either split up and head our separate ways. Or…"
"Or…We just understand that this is temporary. That we go our separate ways in Ba Sing Se."
"And we try to get there fast." He finishes. I swallow hard and nod. "If we do this." He starts, twining his fingers with mine. "If we do this, Katara. It can only go so far. Nothing-"
"Nothing more than has already happened." I finish. He nods.
We sit in silence for a little bit, my heart fluttering like a humming-bee, but my stomach is twisting in a way that makes me feel nauseated.
What are we doing?
"So what now?" I ask quietly, scared of his answer. Through the darkness, I can hardly make out a small smile on his face. It calms my stomach down a little. Zuko smiling is so rare.
"Now, Water Princess," He tucks a stray hair behind my ear. "We go to sleep." He lays down, pulling me with him. My legs tangle with his as I use his arm as a pillow, nestling my face against his chest as he pulls the blanket over us.
"Only because I need to keep warm, Fire Prince." I tell him. He chuckles, making another heat rush through me.
"Whatever you say. Sweet Dreams, Water Princess."
…..
The next few days go so much better than before. I'm grinning almost non stop, and Zuko's in a good mood pretty much the whole time, despite the fact we crossed out of the desert and into the rainy season, as it's at least drizzling almost the whole time.
Each morning, Zuko wakes me up with a soft kiss on my mouth and forehead, and every night I get to have a peaceful sleep, warm in his arms. Being born in a time of war, it's been a long time since I've felt safer, if I ever did.
During the day we move a little slower, yet somehow the time seems to pass faster. And before we know it, we're just a couple days away from Ba Sing Se.
I don't want us to go our separate ways. I keep thinking of how I can convince him to join us, and how to get the group to accept him if he agrees.
Toph will be the easiest. She's never really had any of the bad experiences with him that we have. Sokka will be tough, but hopefully he'll trust me if I vouch for him. And Aang…I don't know. And is by far the most forgiving and merciful of our group, but he can also be extremely selfish sometimes. And as much as I pretend he doesn't, I can't actually deny that he likes me. A lot. And the second he sees me and Zuko together, he's going to feel betrayed, which is wrong since Aang and I are not even together. Other than the Omashu caves, I've never given him any indication that I like him, and I shouldn't have kissed him there. I was just so desperate to feel wanted by someone, and now I have to deal with the consequences of using Aang for that. But hopefully he'll see past his jealousy and understand he needs to learn firebending anyways. I guess we'll find out. But that's only if I can convince Zuko to join us in the first place. He's made it clear I'm not even allowed to breach the topic. How can I change his mind if I can't even talk to him? I only have a day or two left.