Zuko
My heart is pounding as I force myself to walk to their group. I've risked everything to do this, I've betrayed my nation, forfeited my position as a prince, all to train the Avatar in Firebending and defeat my father. As I approach them, I look to see who all is there. I see Sokka, Toph, the Avatar, and…and Katara. I pet the Bison's side before I step out around him, trying to think of what to say. Katara hates me, more than the rest of them and for good reason. She'll never want me near her, and the others will listen. They're never going to trust me. And I deserve it. But I have to try.
"Hello, Zuko here." I say as I step out from behind the Bison. Inwardly, I cringe. What a great way to start this. They all immediately take a fighting stance, like I figured. I try to talk fast to make sure they know I'm not about to attack. "Hey, I heard you guys flying around down there so I thought I'd just wait for you here." The bison takes a step forward and growls in my ear, but then licks me. It's sticky and wet, but the last thing I want to do is hurt the bison in front of the Avatar. Then I'm actually glad he did, when I see it makes him drop his fighting stance. "I know you must be surprised to see me."
"Not really, since you've followed us all over the world." Sokka says. This is not going how I'd hoped, but at least they don't look ready to attack anymore. Except for Katara. She may have dropped her stance but I can see murder in her eyes.
"Right, well, uh, anyway…" I try to start "What I wanted to tell you about is that I've changed." I say with a little more confidence. "And I, uh, I'm good now. And well, I think I should join your group. Oh! And I can teach Firebending. To you." I tell the Avatar. Why didn't I lead with that? They all look shocked, and after a second I look at Katara. She's staring at me in hate and disbelief.
"You wanna What now?!" Toph asks. More like accuses.
"You can't possibly think that any of us would trust you, can you?" Katara yells, confirming what I feared. "I mean how stupid do you think we are!"
"Yeah! All you've ever done is try to hunt us down and capture Aang!"
"I've done some good things!" I say, desperate for them to hear me out. "I mean, I could have stolen your Bison in Ba Sing Se, but I set him free! That's something!" The Bison licks me again, which I hope helps my case.
"Appa does seem to like him." Toph says.
"He probably just covered himself in Honey so that Appa would lick him. I'm not buying it!" Sokka says. He and the Toph look at me distrustfully and confused, like they're trying to decide what to do. Katara on the other hand just looks fierce. Angry. No compassion or hint of trust as I've seen her look at the others, as she looked at me in the crystal catacombs in Old Ba Sing Se, or so many times before traveling together or on my ship. Now, there's Just hatred. And I know I deserve it.
"I can understand why you wouldn't trust me. I know I've made some mistakes in the past."
"Like when you attacked our village!" Sokka yells.
"Or when you stole my mother's necklace to track us down and capture us!" Katara shouts.
"Look, I admit I've done some awful things. I was wrong to try and capture you. And I'm sorry I attacked the Water Tribe. And I never should have sent that Fire Nation Assassin after you." I regret the words as soon as they're out of my mouth when anger and shock come back across their faces. Why did I say that? They didn't know that! "I'm going to try to stop-"
"Wait, you sent Combustion Man after us?" Sokka exclaims, bringing out his boomerang again.
"Well, that's not his name, but-"
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to insult your friend."
"He's not my friend!" I yell, getting frustrated. Toph points to me.
"That guy locked me and Katara in jail and tried to blow us all up!" I wince, letting go of my rising anger. Finally I look at Avatar. I look to Aang. "Why aren't you saying anything? You once said you thought we could be friends." I remind him, thinking back to the night I rescued him as the Blue Spirit. "You Know I have good in me. He's silent for a moment, which almost gives me hope. But then he speaks.
"There's no way we can trust you after everything you've done. We'll never let you join us." Any hope building inside me crumbles and turners to despair, No, they have to. I gave up everything for this. And if nothing else could hurt worse, Katara is the next one to speak.
"You need to get out of here. Now!" She warns. I can't give up. I have to keep trying.
"I'm trying to explain I'm not that person anymore!" I say and take a step towards them. Sokka raises his boomerang.
"Either you leave or we attack." He tells me with an edge to his voice. And I believe him. But I can't just leave.
"If you won't accept me as a friend, maybe you'll take me as a prisoner." I say and get on my knees before them.
"No! We Won't!" Katara yells, then I get hit with a blast of water so hard it knocks me back and takes the wind out of me. "Get out of here! And don't come back! And if we ever see you again…Well, We'd better not see you again!" I know she means it. I get up, defeated, and walk away, wondering what I'm going to do now.
…
I get two chances later to change things around. I blow the first one, but manage to save my ass and everyone else's too the second time.
The first, Toph seeks me out at night, but I didn't know it was her and sent fire her way, burning her feet.
Why am I so Bad at Being Good?!
Later, The assassin I hired attacked the group. For some reason, He keeps trying to kill everyone after I tell him I won't pay him anymore, and after I say I'll pay him double to stop.
I'm not enough to stop him, but I throw him off enough to give everyone else time to fight back. By the time Sokka kills him with his boomerang, I've thought of a more articulate speech when I climb up the vine back to solid ground. Aang accepts me as his teacher. Along with everyone else. Except Katara, but she says she'll support Aang's decision. But she made it clear she doesn't want me here. That hurt, but it's a start just being here. I'll earn her trust back with time. I know I can.
…..
"So, here you go, home sweet home." Sokka says as he shows me to my room. "I guess, you know, for now. Unpack…Lunch soon. Umm….Welcome Aboard?" I turn to give him a slight smile as he leaves. I overhear him talking to Aang, saying this is really weird, and he's right. But even if I don't have their full trust yet, they trust me enough to let me be here. I'll build on that. I can fulfill my destiny.
As I unpack, I come across a painting of my uncle. I remember years ago when we came here looking for the Avatar, for Aang. I remember how I said I would spend the rest of my life searching for him, to capture him and restore my honor. How stupid and stubborn I was. I wish I had listened to Uncle Iroh sooner. But I made the right choice now, and if I ever see him again I hope he's proud of me for that.
I hear someone come to the door, and I turn to see Katara. I start to smile as I get up, naively excited that she sought me out, until I see the stern look on her face. It's venomous. My smile falls off my face, and she speaks up, poison dripping in her words.
"You might have everyone else here buying your transformation; but you and I both know you've struggled with doing the right thing in the past." She walks right up to me, and I remember on my ship looking at her chocolate locks, blue eyes, and tan skin and realizing for the first time how truly beautiful she was, and every time I looked at her after that. She's still as gorgeous as she ever was, but I wish she was still wearing her gaze of compassion instead of the look of hatred she gives me now. "So let me tell you something right now." Looking at me closer and if possible harsher, my stomach lurches with anxiety. "You make one step backwards, one slip up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang, and you won't have to worry about your destiny anymore. Because I'll make sure destiny ends right then and there. Permanently."
She leaves no room for doubt, no room for me to question if she's serious or not. And I can't blame her. I remember her telling me about her mother, and how it was my nation that killed her. I remember the weeks we spent together playing Pai Sho on my ship, her healing me, the way I felt like my heart stopped when I found her unconscious in the desert and the days it took to wake up, and how it felt every time I touched or kissed her on the way to the city. I remember betraying her for Azula, after we went through so much together, saving each other's lives more than once. Katara hates me, and I deserve every bit of her distrust. But I'll prove her wrong. I have to.
….
In the weeks that follow, a lot happens. I lose my skill with Firebending now that I'm not relying on anger anymore, so Aang and I track down the ancient Sun People civilization and learn that not only are they still Alive, but they're housing the last two dragons alive. And I learn how to draw my bending from the sun instead of my anger, which immediately makes me twice as strong as I've. ever been, maybe more, and it gives Aang an immediate leg up on his Firebending.
Soon after that, I help Sokka on a rescue mission to save his father from the Boiling Rock, My Nation's most guarded prison. While we're there, Sokka ends up saving Suki too, a Kyoshie warrior. I get the feeling that there's some awkward tension between them, like at one point they were more than just friends and comrades, but whatever it is I'm sure is over. Sokka gushes about Yue every chance he gets.
I see Mai at the prison. Her Uncle is the warden and gave her a message when he realized I was there. And I see how much I truly hurt her, and that sucks. But I don't regret ending things, and as Delicately as I can I tell her as much. I expect to be 'accidentally' thrown into the boiling lake, but that's not what happens. She sacrifices her freedom to help us escape, even after I told her I didn't love her back. I don't really know how to reconcile with that, especially since I'm pretty sure Azula had her and Ty Lee thrown into the lake after betraying her. One more thing to live with, I guess.
Those two side adventures were great, but I should have known the good times wouldn't last. Azula tracks us to the Western Air Temple, blowing it up to force us out. During the chaos, Katara almost gets crushed by falling rocks. I tackle her to the ground to keep her from being crushed, and have just enough time to realize it's the first time I've touched her since…well, since the Crystal Catacombs in Old Ba Sing Se where she touched my scar, ready to heal it. And of course, hatred for me still running through her veins, instead of a thank you she just yells at me to get off.
The attack forces our group to split up. Katara's dad helps everyone get through the tunnels while I fight my sister and Katara, Aang, Sokka, Suki, and Toph escape on Appa.
If there's one good thing about this, or at least satisfying, is that I can honestly say after my training with the dragons and drawing my power from the sun, I'm finally a match for my sister. The match ends in a draw, with both of us falling through the air towards the ground. Katara saves me, pulling me into the saddle, while Azula blasts herself onto the side of the mountain and waits for her soldiers to help.
I can't believe she made it.
We fly until we're far enough away we can't be tracked, and cook dinner around a campfire as the sun goes down. Other than Katara, everyone seems happy and at ease, something I'm not used to being around.
"To Zuko! Who knew after all the times he tried to snuff us out, today he'd be our hero!" Sokka raises his cup. Everyone around chatters their agreement.
"I'm touched." I say. "Truly, I don't deserve this."
"Yeah, no kidding." Katara spits, then gets up and walks off.
"What's with her?" Sokka asks. I stand up.
"I wish I knew." I tell him as I follow her. I know more than I'm letting on, but it's clear Katara didn't tell anyone that we traveled through the desert together to Ba Sing Se, and she definitely didn't tell anyone about the relationship we had along the way, so they don't know the depth of how badly what happened in the Crystal Catacombs hurt her.
Despite this, I still feel frustration building up in my chest. I know I blew any chance for us to be together, but does she have to be so hostile all the time?! Aang, Sokka, Toph, and Suki have all accepted me into the group and decided to trust me despite everything I've done in the past. Why can't Katara?
"What is it with you?" I snap at her as I walk up. "Everyone else seems to trust me now, why can't you?" Katara turns around and glares at me.
"Oh, everyone seems to trust you now? Well I was the first person to trust you, and you turned right around and betrayed me!" She screams. I swallow my frustration. She's right, she deserves to be angry. I deserve anything but forgiveness.
"What can I do to make it up to you?" I ask her, hoping for even a chance.
"You really want to know? How about you reconquer Ba Sing Se in the name of the Earth King! Or, I don't know, How about you bring my mother back!" She storms off, leaving me to think about how it's impossible to do either thing she just said.
So How Can I Fix it?
I think of what Katara said when she yelled at me, and what she said to me the last time I saw her, in Ba Sing Se. Her Mother. I know she has a lot of anger towards the Fire Nation for her mother's death, and a lot of anger at me for…well, everything. If I can help her reconcile what happened with her mom, maybe she can forgive me. Or at the very least, not hate me anymore.
I make a beeline for Sokka's tent, making him jump when I walk in without knocking or anything . It looks like he was writing something, but he quickly sits on the papers. I don't really care, that's not what I'm here for.
"Um Zuko! I totally wasn't writing moon poetry for Yu-you know what, Nevermind. What's on your mind?"
"Your sister. She hates me, and I don't know why!" I start, lying through my teeth about not knowing why she hates me. "But I do care what she thinks of me."
"Nah, Katara doesn't hate anybody. Except some people in the Fire Nation." He freezes at his words and stumbles over the next ones. Not people in the fire Nation who were bad but are now good, only people who were bad and will never be-"
"Stop! Look this might seem like it's coming out of nowhere, but I need you to tell me what happened to your mother."
"What?" He straightens. "Why would you want to know that?"
"Katara mentioned it earlier when she was yelling at me, and then again back in Ba Sing Se. I think she's connected her anger at that with her anger at me." Please Tell Me.
"It isn't a day I like to remember." He says, and tells me the story.
A very short raid, with only one casualty: Kaya. That means that unless the Southern Water Tribe had overwhelming force Sokka just didn't mention, she was targeted, but why?
"Can you remember any details about the main ship?"
"Yeah. Their flag had sea ravens on it."
"The symbol for the Southern Raiders. Thanks Sokka."
"No Problem. Good Luck with Katara, Zuko." He says as I show myself out, and he pulls his papers out again to write more as I close the flap.
I head over to Katara's tent, but she's already asleep. I'm not going to wake her up, so I sit outside her tent. She'll get up in the morning.
When she finally comes out, I can hardly keep my head up I'm so tired.
"You look terrible."
"I waited all night." I tell her, then wish I could take back my words when i hear how creepy they sound.
"What do you want?" She asks as she starts combing through her hair with her back to me.
"I know who killed your mother. And I'm going to help you find them."