CHAPTER THREE:
When she woke up, Felicia noticed two things.
First, a pile of clothes at the end of her bed.
Second, she was in a bed.
An actual bed.
She was confused for a moment, wondering how she got in a bed. Then she wondered whose clothes they were.
Sitting up, she stretched her arms and stood up.
Felicia picked up the shirt and noticed it was made to her measurements.
Most clothes from the children's section didn't fit her, simultaneously too big and too small.
Yet this shirt would, she knew.
Putting it on, Felicia knew she had been right.
Underpants and a bra were under the pants, making her sigh before taking the shirt off and getting dressed.
Hunger had Felicia roaming the floor to find a kitchen, or just food. She wasn't picky.
Someone tapped her shoulder, and she jumped, before turning around.
There was a man, deep brown hair, and glasses on his face. "Sorry," he apologised. "You must be Felicia. I'm Bruce."
"Uh, yes. I'm Felicia. Nice to meet you, Bruce. I was just looking for the cocina. That is not what I meant," I muttered, irritated at myself. "Cocina, cocina. Why can't I remember the word? You wouldn't happen to know what I'm talking about, would you?" I asked.
"I know what word you're meaning, but I can't remember it either."
"I believe the word you're looking for is kitchen, Ms Glass."
I jumped a foot in the air at the new voice, looking around for the speaker.
"Thank you, JARVIS. Sorry about that. JARVIS is an artificial intelligence, basically a robot butler. Tony created him. Based off his human butler from when he was a kid, I think."
"Correct, Dr. Banner."
"All right, let's go to the kitchen, then."
She followed him to the kitchen, and he instantly started making a pot of coffee.
She stood there a second before deciding to make eggs.
Except that when she opened the fridge, she met an obstacle.
"Why are there no eggs in the fridge? Where are the vegetables, the meat? And why is there so much take out in here?" Felicia demanded, rifling through the fridge.
She looked at the date on the milk.
"This expired a month ago, why in God's name would it still be in here?"
"Tony had a chef that made every meal for him, not that he'd necessarily eat it, but he can't cook to save his life. I don't cook very well, but I can cook. Pepper only really knew how to make a salad."
"I grew up making almost every meal I ate. And I know for a fact that this much take out isn't good for you. I've found what I'm doing today," she decided.
They heard a set of footsteps running.
Bruce rolled his eyes and held up a mug, filled with coffee.
Tony stopped, grabbing the mug and taking a drink from it.
"Leigh, take these."
He held out his hand and dropped two pills into her waiting one.
She looked at them and back at him.
"What are they?"
"I think I've made a repressant for your powers. J says there's a 76% chance they'll work."
"Actually, sir, I said an 84% chance," the British voice responded.
"Even better."
With a roll of her eyes, Felicia took the tablets with some water.
"Your fridge is in a terrible state. I've decided to clean it out and restock it with fresh food. "I've also decided that neither of you are allowed in here, bar for coffee. And no more take out. That much is not good for you."
"What?" Tony asked.
"Where are my car keys?"
"No, why are you deciding to go after our diets?"
"I'm sorry, would you like to live to be older than 60? I assume you do, seeing your reaction to my suicide attempt yesterday."
She looked around the kitchen for her keys. "Why are there so many alcohol glasses in here?"
"Sorry, did she say suicide attempt?"
"Yes, I did. I'm right here, Bruce. That was my eighth attempt this month."
"How many have you done in total?"
"Honestly? I've lost count. Probably about twelve hundred."
"Twelve hundred?"
"No, definitely more. Uh, more like twelve hundred and fifty. That seems closer. Let's say the margin of error is ten, either side, to be safe."
"Honestly, she needs more help than you do, Jolly Green."
"Why do you call him Jolly Green?"
"You don't know?"
"Wait, now I recognise you. You're Bruce Banner. Your work in Gamma Radiation is magnificent."
"Do you not know about the Hulk?"
"Oh, no, I do. I just don't really care. You're both people. And you both need to eat your fucking vegetables. Oh, fuck it. I'll walk."
"I eat vegetables," Bruce feebly called after her.
Felicia turned on her heel to face him.
"There are no vegetables left over in the fridge. Vegetables are almost always the most left over. So, logically, you are lying. I don't appreciate being lied to. Don't do it again, or I'll put you in a time out." Felicia looked over at Tony. "That goes for you, too, mister."
Then she walked out.