Zuko
As Katara helps me walk back to my room, I'm on cloud nine. I took her to the pond because it's where I wanted to tell her I loved her, and I figured that's where the conversation was headed when I saw how upset she was and how hard she was trying to hide it from me. Leave it to Azula to try and ruin the best day of my life. But she can't anymore.
I meant every word I just said. If the Fire Sages won't bless the marriage, we'll get married in the Southern Water Tribe, I don't care what the Sages or the People think of it. They'll come around to Katara. I can't imagine anyone knowing her and not loving her.
We get back to my room and Katara helps me lay down in bed. Everything, and I do mean everything hurts. Movement of any kind, walking, and breathing included. Katara can tell, and she gives me another healing session, briefly making all the pain disappear, and when it returns, it's not as bad.
Once she's done, she crawls under the covers with me and puts her head on my chest. Her closeness in this bed makes me want her in a way I can't have her yet. I know enough about Water Tribe Customs to know that unlike the Earth, Fire, and Air nations the Moon and Ocean spirits want their people to save virginity until marriage. Not everyone follows this custom, but it's clear that Katara holds her tribe and it's traditions much closer to heart than him. Her laying in bed with me, we're playing with fire. But I can keep it under control. I have to. Because I don't want her to go. Now that she's with me, it would be like an amputation for her to leave.
"I can't be here. Not in your bed." She whispers.
"I know."
"I shouldn't be here."
"I know." I say, holding her tighter. She giggles and squirms against me, and I let go when it starts to hurt to hold her too tight. But then she gets quiet and sits up.
"I'm a virgin, Zuko." She says, making my heart race. We're talking about this now? "Do you know why?" I brace myself and sit up, grunting with the effort.
"Not for lack of options or opportunity." I chuckle, knowing how beautiful she is and how many people before me have noticed that. But none of them have her in their bed. I do. "I was actually just thinking about this. I know the custom of the Water Tribe regarding virginity and marriage. Not everyone adheres to it, But I can venture a guess it's very important to you. So We'll wait." I say, and lean forward to kiss her gently. "I want you now, but we'll wait." She gives me a small smile and I chuckle. "I don't think I could have sex with you for the next few days even if I wanted to. Moving hurts too much." I Say and she laughs, Music to my ears, then she looks at me seriously again.
"And what about you?" She asks.
"What about me?"
"Have you…are you-?"
"A Virgin?" I finish for her. She nods and my stomach flips. I don't want to hurt her. I never thought when I was screwing around at brothels during my travels or sleeping with Mai after I got back would hurt Katara. I didn't even know her for most of it, and after I did I never thought we would ever be together. But I can't lie to her. I sigh. "No, Katara. I'm not a virgin." I say. She looks down, but doesn't say anything.
"How-" She hiccups. "How many before me?"
"Do you really want to know?" I ask, hoping she says no. She doesn't. She just looks me in the eye. I sigh. "A handful. Maybe five or six over the years. Most were at brothels when I was banished. Mai was the only one I was ever in an actual relationship with."
"Did you love her?" She asks. I take her hand, my heart clenching when I see her eyes are glassy.
"No. I liked her. I was attracted to her, sure. I didn't love her, though, Katara."
"But you slept with her anyways?" She asks, a couple tears falling, making my heart clench even more.
"Yeah. I did. I'm sorry, Katara. I wasn't thinking of you at the time. If I knew it would make you cry-" She holds up her hand to stop me, then curls up next to me and we both lay down.
"I know the Water Tribe is different. I can't be upset with you for something you weren't ever expected to do." She says, and a knot unties in my stomach. "You don't need to apologize."
"I wouldn't think twice of it if you hadn't waited either." I say. "But you did. And I'm going to be the first and only person to ever be with you, and I cannot tell you how amazing that is for me. I just wish now I could give the same gift to you." I tell her. She sniffs and nestles closer. "But I can tell you this, even without having sex, you've already made me forget about every other woman I've ever been with. They don't even exist to me anymore. That's just going to become more true when we're actually married and sleeping together. I promise you, you may not be the first, but you'll be the one and only from here on out and the last." I say firmly. She chuckles.
"Thank you. And I love how you say when we get married, not if. Like there aren't a thousand things in the way. You haven't even actually proposed yet."
"True." I smile and kiss her forehead, thinking of exactly how I'm going to do that. Water Tribes do betrothal necklaces, but the Fire Nation does golden rings that we forge ourselves if we're benders. And non-benders get them from benders. I think about forging her a necklace, but I don't think she'll want to stop wearing her mother's necklace. I'll make her both. She can choose what she wants to wear. "We'll cross that bridge soon enough. I hope I can count on a yes when I do ask." She giggles and nestles closer.
"I'll think about it. But it'll be hard to say no to a man who loves me enough to take not one but two lightning bolts for me."
"They were both worth it."
"I really shouldn't be here." She sighs, hugging me tighter from where she's laying next to me. It hurts, but I stifle any protest. She can hold me as tight as she wants.
"No, you shouldn't." I agree, not wanting to disrespect her tribe's traditions but also not wanting her to leave.
"I need to leave."
"You probably should."
"Zuko," She starts then is quiet for a second. "Can I stay?" She asks, making me grin. No, we're not going to have sex. We're not going to go any farther than we have so far. But she's staying with me, safe in my arms.
"Always." I whisper in her ear. "Stay with me."
We stop talking after that. Normally I have nightmares that wake me up in a cold sweat. More often than I'd like to admit they've been about Katara getting hurt, long before I joined the Gaang. Ever since she came on my ship. But with her nestled close and safe in my arms, I can tell as I drift off for once my sleep will have Peace.
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