Trigger warning: description of a nervous breakdown (a panic attack? Somehow none of the names for this kind of thing in English seems to suit it well)
Enji did not know whether it was the stress, or fatigue, or maybe the bed was truly as goddamn comfortable as the one he had at home - expensive and perfect for his always strained spine -but he felt like he slept dreamless sleep for an eternity. He immediately reached for his phone and cursed, reminded he had none. What could be the time? Izuku was out there, waiting for him. Enji cursed again. The place still seemed completely empty apart from sounds from the kitchen, that most likely was Kurogiri. He put on his suit and got downstairs.
"Good evening? Or morning?"
"Good evening." There was the slightest note of amusement in Kurogiri's voice, the first time Enji had ever heard it. Good. The other man motioned to the table where there were some cabbage rolls, actual burgers, potato fries, and some buns and cookies. None of these Enji recognized as Skyrim dishes. "These are what Tomura used to like, even with his little appetite. I would be grateful if you took those to him. I have noticed the food does not seem to spoil here, nor does it disappear when made, so he can eat it whenever he feels like it. Do help yourself to it too, obviously."
"These look delicious," admitted Enji. "You'll need to exchange recipes with my daughter. She loves to cook."
Kurogiri went stiff at that and got back to cleaning a pheasant without a word. Did Enji say something wrong?
"I meant it. Sorry if I offended you in any way. I'm not too... proficient in human interactions."
Kurogiri froze for a second. At 'human interactions'. 'Right, I am just a programmed Noumu'.
"...I just highly doubt it is appropriate of you to say lightly such things when you know well I am a villain and a murderer and could not possibly ever just exchange recipes with a hero's daughter," Kurogiri finally replied, sounding rather cold.
"Kurogiri-san, your friend is basically a god, from what I understood. You can do whatever the hell you want."
"...what I meant is I doubt any... so-called decent human being would want to interact with any of our League willingly. Is it truly so hard to understand our position, Number One Hero?"
Enji sighed. "Sorry, my words were thoughtless."
Silence fell. Kurogiri truly wasn't much like Oboro Shirakumo Shouta had painted. But who could blame him? He took some cabbage rolls onto his plate, took a bite, and sighed again.
"But this really is delicious. Is it Polish cuisine inspired?"
"Ah, yes. Tomura loves those. There is no meat grinder here so I had to make do with knives. I had to forfeit the rice too and go with mushrooms." Enji could tell the tension dissipated when Kurogiri started to talk about cooking.
"It is amazing. Which mushrooms did you use?"
"I had to use the 'Herbalist's Guide' since there are no known to our universe species here and chose... Blisterwort I believe it was called? And Fly Amanita. Perhaps I will add some Glowing Mushrooms later too. I also had to use chicken meat instead of pork which really is not too well suited for this dish due to little..."
Enji smiled to himself as Kurogiri visibly relaxed talking about his, obviously, favorite subject. And the rolls were truly delicious, the cabbage soft and juicy, the mushroom's flavor rich and complementing well the delicate poultry and the strong spices used.
"You look really nice in those clothes." Kurogiri was wearing a set of, what was simply called in the game, Fine Clothes. They looked fantastic there and looked even better in reality, like you were some rich medieval European noble. But Kurogiri went stiff again, his good mood ruined for some reason. Enji sighed. "I mean it. Sorry if you think I'm mocking you. I always loved that outfit in the game."
Kurogiri relaxed by an inch but his voice was still far from quiet joy Enji could hear when he was talking about the spices. "...A Noumu does not look 'nice' in any clothes so I would prefer if you refrained from empty platitudes."
"...If you think you look ridiculous in clothes, then you clearly haven't met many Mutant Quirk users," murmured Enji.
There was a pause.
"Thank you," he finally heard and it sounded genuine. "Maybe I am a little splenetic today and overreact."
"It's... a difficult time for many, I suppose," murmured Enji.
There was the slightest nod in response. So Enji decided to bring Kurogiri's favorite subject back.
"And what are those cookies?"
"Ah, there is no chocolate here so I was not able to make any dessert Tomura loves but the moon sugar appeared to-"
Enji choked on his roll.
"-be equally sweet and with a comparably satisfying taste. Maybe he shall like those."
Enji wondered how to break it gently. "Moon sugar is... um, addictive."
"Ah, yes, I have read about it in the cooking notes I found here. Seems as addictive as caffeine or white sugar, so it is not all that bad."
Enji eyed the cookies suspiciously. "Is that what was written there?"
"Yes."
Well, it was doubtful they would just let the players here take hard drugs, right? Right? Besides, it wasn't like it was Skooma. ...did they have Skooma here?
"Alright." He took one of the cookies. Kurogiri was right, the sugar's taste was very sweet but not in a bland, nauseating way. It was rich and multifaceted and incredibly satisfying. And you wanted more.
"It is really good. I have never seen cookies like those in the game. You truly are an amazing cook to be able to create brand new dishes from ingredients you don't know."
"It is just years of practice," replied Kurogiri trying to sound modest but Enji could hear the note of pride in his voice.
"Truly amazing. I was lucky to get stranded here with you."
"Eat as much as you need. I like to cook, I shall prepare more."
Enji smiled again. "Thank you."
Soon he was on his way back to the shack. The sky was again nothing but unscathed by any cloud expanse of blue, the vibrant colors of the greenery below pleasing to the eye, the Sun quite low on the Western horizon. So he really slept the whole day. He noticed his Izuku lying on the grass among mountain flowers, behind the bushes near the hut, reading a book. There was no activity in the said hut; Enji could see through the open door that Shigaraki was still in the bed with Mon-chan by his side.
"Hey, love. I'm sorry I slept so long," he said as they hugged.
"It's okay. Though you might want to try to convince Tenko to eat something? I haven't seen him doing that at all. He did feed Mon-chan though."
"I'll try. Kurogiri has cooked quite a lot of food for him. Well, for everyone, considering the amount." He put down another backpack he had found in the mansion. "You might want to try one of his, sort of, burgers."
Izuku's eyes shone at that.
"Burgers? In Skyrim?"
"It's more like a venison chop in a bun with tomatoes and cheese but knowing Kurogiri it will be amazing."
Izuku already had one in his hands. "Smells delicious."
"There are also cookies with moon sugar there. Try not to eat it too much."
"...and how many have you eaten, Dad?"
"Just a few," murmured Enji defensively.
Izuku just laughed at that.
"So, where is Touga?"
Izuku sighed at that. "They had some sort of disagreement. At first, I couldn't hear what they were speaking about, then that woman appeared and Tenko went somewhere with her. They came back immediately, and Tenko started to tell or explain something to Touga, and that really did not go well. She raised her voice and only then I realised it was about Jin Bubaigawara. I think she wanted to revive him, just like she had been. I have deduced, from what she was saying, that Tenko told her that Bubaigawara did not want that? Or maybe it was Tenko who decided Jin would not want that? I am not sure... But then they, or rather Touga, calmed down. Maybe Tenko did convince her after all... But she left completely buried in her thoughts, hadn't even noticed me, and rather dejected."
Enji pondered on that. It seemed to shed some light on Shigaraki's current behavior.
"His friends start to realize. The extent of his power. He can shape reality as he wants. And, apparently, it is not as simple as it may seem."
"Yeah," agrees Izuku. "He can do whatever he pleases but everything will have consequences."
"And his friends will have demands. Everyone will."
"Still, it shows his core isn't what All for One wanted it to be. He didn't just plunge into destruction or self-satisfaction."
"No," agreed Enji watching the motionless figure on the bed. "He is better than that. Better than what we judged him to be. He actually is thinking about it all." Hopefully. Hopefully, it wasn't just him being broken and depressed right now but ready to get back to his old ways the moment he felt better.
"Alright, I'll bring him some food from Kurogiri."
He took his backpack, stood up, and led his steps towards the shack. Mon-chan was already jumping at him even before he got close.
"Hey, little one," he smiled as he took the small, enthusiastically wiggling doggie in his arms. "You missed me?" Many happy barks responded. Such a pure thing. Almost made him want to have a dog but he wouldn't do it to his cats. And to the dog. He could imagine the amount of bullying the poor animal would have to live with, among so many cats, some of them with truly difficult characters.
He entered the hut and his eyes met with Shigaraki's irritated ones. Did they awake him?
"Hey, villain." Shigaraki bristled at that. "Well, you're the one calling me 'hero' all the time."
"Well, you're the one who wants to be called a hero. It's literally the path you have chosen in life," Shigaraki snapped back and turned to the wall.
"Kurogiri made you some burgers and fries and cabbage rolls. They're amazing."
"Of course they are," came the murmur.
Enji took out some rabbit haunches for Mon-chan, to a little explosion of enthusiasm, and then put some more food on the table.
"You know freshly cooked is the best, right?" he tried again, though here it might not necessarily be the truth.
Shigaraki grumbled something but slowly and heavily got up. He was still covered in dirt from lying on the ground yesterday.
"I'll bring you some water from the stream to clean up."
Shigaraki shot him an ugly glare and all the dirt on him decayed.
"...I thought you could use it only through your fingers," murmured Enji.
"I can do whatever I want now."
"So you have some active Quirks now?"
Shigaraki sat by the table. "It would be stupid not to, in an alien Universe. Those idiot archers proved that."
"...Especially when walking armorless," added Enji, careful not to say naked. Which Shigaraki, incidentally, still was.
Shigaraki took a single fry and started chewing on it slowly.
"Did you know that Kurogiri blames himself for not having helped you?"
The other man blinked. "He's been literally helping me all the time?"
"No, I mean, from All for One. He said he had been a coward."
Shigaraki stared at Enji for a short moment, as if uncomprehending. Then he heaved the longest, most annoyed sigh Enji had ever heard.
"You all just won't fucking give me a moment of peace, you just fucking won't."
"I just-"
"Shut up," growled Shigaraki as he stood up and started putting on the robe. So Enji did shut up and watched him in silence. The other man dressed himself up and left the shack.
"Hey, eat a little bit more."
"Shut up."
Shigaraki took the same path that led them here and started to slowly climb up the mountain. Enji could easily fly them both up but he wasn't suicidal enough to offer it. Only Mon-chan's happy barking was breaking the silence between them, and Enji felt he really was grateful for this little ball of unabated joy.
It was already dark when they reached the entrance to the cave, Mon-chan asleep in Shigaraki's arms, his short legs having given up an hour ago. The mansion was very quiet, the kitchen empty, apart from an impressive amount of food. Enji suspected Kurogiri was probably in bed at such a late hour. Then again with all that had happened maybe he was still awake, thinking about Shigaraki and about his own life?
"Bedrooms are upstairs," he told Shigaraki
Shigaraki uttered an irritated huff but headed toward the stairs only to see Kurogiri on top of them.
"Tomura Shigaraki," the other man said quietly.
"Leave us," Shigaraki snapped at Enji, so Enji went back outside, into the small courtyard, where he found his Izuku.
They both heard Shigaraki's distant voice and found themselves hovering near the door conveniently left ajar by Enji.
"Not very nice to eavesdrop," murmured Izuku as quietly as he could.
"It's for a bigger cause," murmured Enji back.
With the door open, and Shigaraki not bothering to go to any of the rooms to have the conversation in, all it would take was to sneak back in. They looked at each other, both thinking the same thing.
"I'll go alone," said Enji quietly. "At least he will only be angry at me."
"No."
Enji sighed and they entered the mansion again. The closer they were the clearer Shigaraki's voice was, especially since he started to sound louder.
"-Nomus were made. When I say 'programmed', I don't mean that! You know you can't just 'program' a brain. He had struck the terror into you and coerced you to look after me. Just because you don't remember that part doesn't mean it's not true. We can go back in time and you'll see."
"I think I might prefer to pass on this."
A pause fell.
"But you still think I am forced... to care for you," said Kurogiri quietly.
"I... You shouldn't, Kurogiri. All those years weren't yours, it is time for you to have your own life! You don't have to be chained to me anymore!"
"...So I am not a friend to you."
"Kurogiri," Shigaraki growled angrily. "The very fact I fucking climbed my ass back up here shows something different, doesn't it? I wouldn't fucking move my little finger for anyone else. Well, maybe for very few else."
Silence responded.
Shigaraki spoke again, this time much quieter, his voice like nothing Enji had ever heard from him. "I used to treat you like shit, Kurogiri," he said lowly. "It... you deserve to look after someone better."
"You were just a kid." They barely heard Kurogiri's murmur. Good that acoustics were amazing in those huge rooms.
"Uh-huh, so that's an excuse?"
"This was what sen- All for One was teaching you from the moment he took you... under his care."
"Ah, yes, he's been teaching me the Noumus are nothing but highly-developed animals and slaves and our toys and servants. Even though you looked and behaved like a normal human being, always."
A beat of silence.
"If I believed All for One, then it'd mean I was a pretty daft kid, wasn't I?"
"Tomura, I do not blame you, I never did."
"If you want me to stop fucking hating myself for how I treated you why don't you stop hating yourself for the fact you have been always there for me, idiot."
Another pause.
"Tomura, I have been there, watched him doing all-"
"Oh my God, Kurogiri, for fucking Christ's and his holy balls' sake! I shall fucking stay here for the whole eternity if you want to keep repeating the same shit!"
"You are exhausted, Tomura, and-"
"I'M FINE! I will be fine if you stop being a MORON!"
Enji and Izuku exchanged glances. Shigaraki really wasn't in the best state for delicate conversations now. Was he even ever?
Another pause fell. Then a breaking voice came. "...I'm just so sorry, so sorry, Tomura. I'm so sorry."
"You fucking stupid idiot," Shigaraki replied quieter. Another pause fell and then the voices were so quiet Enji could not hear a thing.
Finally, they could hear Kurogiri's louder voice again. "You look terrible."
"I always look terrible."
"It should stop."
Shigaraki did not respond to that.
"Are those two heroes treating you well or merely aggravating you?"
"Stop worrying about me being aggravated," said Shigaraki, sounding annoyed. "I'm not on drugs anymore, my skin doesn't itch and nothing hurts so maybe little things will stop making me-". He paused.
"I am glad. Still, maybe you should stay here? I would cook you anything you want."
"I... really appreciate it, Kurogiri, but... I just don't want to be in a... space like this right now."
"I understand."
"The stupid forest and rain ease my mind, apparently. And Mon-chan loves it there."
"Does Endeavor take good care of you?"
"Doing his best, I think. At least he is not irritating. He knows to keep his mouth shut and not bother me too much."
"You need someone to bother you, Tomura."
Shiharaki just huffed. "And Mon-chan likes him. He takes good care of my dog. I mean, I would too. But... I'd lie if I said I'm not glad I have someone to do it. I need... some time."
"Have you eaten anything I made you?"
"Of course. It was delicious."
"Tomura."
"...I will. And it did smell delicious," murmured Shigaraki.
"You have to eat to recover."
"I know. Stop worrying."
"If you haven't been eating then he's clearly not taking good care of you."
Enji almost huffed at that. As if Shigaraki was that easy to deal with!
"He is doing fine. I just started eating your food when he told me about you so I rushed back here. If not for that, I'd eat it."
"Couldn't he have waited after you finished eating?"
"Have you met him? His people skills are even worse than mine."
Now Enji really huffed, while Izuku smiled and squeezed his hand.
"Well, then, he is really not-"
"Yes, he is!"
There was a pause.
"But we strayed from something important. Kurogiri... do you-" It was rare to hear Shigaraki hesitating. "Do you want to live like this? To live with everything that has been done to you? Our part of the multiverse apparently has reincarnation. Souls and shit that I wouldn't believe in before. I could make you be born into a nice family. You could live a normal life."
"No."
"Do you really mean it?"
"Yes," Kurogiri sounded agitated now.
"Funny, Twice gave me the same answer, and he lied. He said so only because he thought he owed his life to us, that he should continue on for us, his friends. But deep inside he hated his Quirk, his history, his heart jumped when I told him he could have a normal life, not as an outcast, not as a villain. And he still said 'no', for our sake."
"And what have you done?"
"...Nothing. I let his soul go on to the next life. I wouldn't bring him back to the life he hated."
"Tomura. Are you saying you will kill me, thinking it will be best for me?"
Izuku's hand squeezed his tighter. No wonder, this was going in a horrifying direction. It reminded them of the power Shigaraki now wielded and how easily he used to hand out death.
"I WON'T! I'D NEVER! That was something else, he died already! I saw his heart aching for a better life!"
"And what do you see in my heart, Tomura?"
"I don't have such power here."
"I want to stay by your side, Tomura. I want to be who I am, with all the burdensome past I have."
"You hate it. You look at yourself and you see a Noumu, and you loathe it. Tell me it's not true."
"Do you see a Noumu in me?"
"No."
"Neither did Yamada nor Aizawa. Neither do Deku and Endeavor."
"I don't want you to keep suffering for my sake, or because you think you owe something to me, or you think I won't make it on my own. That Endeavor idiot has apparently decided helping me is his mission now, and so does that idiot brat of his, so I won't be alone."
"If the day comes I die, I'll die, but do not rush it for me, Tomura."
"I just-"
"I know. Thank you. I never regretted meeting you."
"If not for me, you'd be alive, a hero."
"If not for All for One, you mean."
A very long pause fell.
Enji couldn't help but wonder, were they hugging? Crying? He had a hard time imagining Shigaraki doing anything like this. Which was a horrible thought, this was a human being too, despite everything.
"At least eat some tomato soup?" Finally came Kurogiri's voice again. "It is delicious here."
"Alright," said Tomura tiredly. "Also, Kurogiri. Is this how you want to be still called?"
"Yes. My past, all of it, is part of me. I shall do with it whatever I can, but it is a part of me. And it is a nice name. Someone I am rather fond of gave it to me."
"...you're so stupid. What was your... deadname?"
"...Oboro Shirakumo."
"...Would you mind if I took Oboro for my name? I hate Tenko, given to me by my father, and Tomura, given to me by All for One."
"...I would be honored," said Kurogiri in a choked voice.
888
"I will be warping myself to you regularly, Oboro."
Somehow it sounded vaguely threatening, noticed Enji with a carefully hidden smile. Shigaraki just rolled his eyes. "I know, I will be eating, and sleeping, I will. Go to bed Kurogiri, I bet it's past midnight."
Kurogiri had his eyes on Shi- Oboro for some time, then he turned them to Enji. "You better mean all this," he simply said.
"Kuro, don't be naive. He is doing this because he is afraid of me."
Kurogiri crossed his arms. "Now, that won't do. I can't leave you with a man with such an attitude."
Oboro looked like he regretted his words immensely. "Kuro, I'm just being an asshole, you know me. He is doing fine, and it's not like I need anything from him anyway. I need my peace and I'll be eating the god- the food."
Kurogiri was still glaring at Enji, at least if Enji could judge his, covered by the dark mist, expression. He shrugged. "I would never hear the end of it from Izuku if I did not try to help... Oboro the best I can."
"Hey," said Izuku. Enji'd swear Kurogiri smiled at that.
"Hey, since when we're on the first name basis?"
"So what am I to call you now?"
"My Lord. God. The Supreme Ruler."
"Right."
"Night, Dad."
"Goodnight, Oboro."
And they both disappeared in a swish of Kurogiri's Quirk. It truly was late, definitely after midnight, just as Oboro had judged. The other man went into the shrubs and Enji entered the sha- He heard the sound of vomiting.
"You alright?" asked Enji stupidly. "Do you want me to help?"
No response came, naturally, as the vomiting continued, so he decided to risk his life and go and see Oboro in this, definitely embarrassing for him position.
"Hey, I'll help," he said seeing the man doubled over, but Oboro just waved him away.
It did not take long, but as far as Enji could judge, the man had to lose everything he had eaten while they had been in the mansion. That was worrying.
"Here," he approached Oboro with a mug of water when the man reappeared. "I have a healing potion too."
"It's not that," said hoarsely Oboro after drinking a little. "I just... kept from Kurogiri that I really shouldn't be eating too much now. Because of the whole process of adaptation to All for One's Quirks."
"Don't you have a brand new body?"
"Does it look like brand new?"
"It looks like your old body, actually. From before your..."
"...joining with sensei, yeah. But, still, I haven't been eating for months-"
What?
"-just, you know, fed through IV and shit. Probably I have to get used to it again."
If Oboro had a new body, then it sounded more like something in his psychic to Enji but he, of course, would not say it out loud. After all, he wasn't a specialist and it was doubtful the other man would take it well anyway.
Oboro went back to the shack, drank some more water, and, admittedly, poured himself a very small portion of the vegetable soup. Then he sat down on the threshold, eating slowly, his eyes unseeing, Mon-chan snuggling into his lap.
Enji sat by one of the trees nearby and took out 'The Brief History of the Empire' ('brief' being more than five hundred pages, and it was only the first tome). They sat like that for some time, Oboro not paying attention to anything or anyone, Enji more involved in the book than he initially had expected. Finally, it hit him the sky was getting slowly paler and Oboro was still sitting like he had before, Mon-chan asleep on his legs.
"Hey, shouldn't you rest a little?"
Oboro blinked and slowly turned his eyes towards Enji. It hit Enji again how sick and exhausted the man looked.
"Look at you," the man murmured. "Trying so hard to fix me. So terrified of what happens when I come back." There was a sneer in his voice, but the weariness took the edge of it.
"Well, yes," agreed Enji. There was no point in lying. "I have friends there, family. And there are plenty of little kids like you out there too. Yes, I am afraid of what will happen when you overturn the society."
"Hmph. 'Little kids like me'." There was a pause. "It not necessarily will be bad for those children. I..." he stopped there, eyes distant for a moment again. "...anyway I won't hurt your family and friends. You're that brat's father, and I respect him even if he's most irritating thing that existed. And you're that Aizawa's friend too. Kurogiri cares for him."
"That is... comforting though it would be utterly egoistic if I thought only about my close ones."
"But isn't it how the world works? You care about your kids. You don't care all that much about others. You'd do everything in your power to put Dabi in a mental facility instead of Tartarus. You'd do me no such kindness."
Ah, that was a difficult topic.
"I... You can't help everyone. When I was young and stupid I thought I would. I thought I would be better than All Might. That I'd become Number One and make the world if not perfect then at least much, much better. But you can't. So you start with those who are closest to you."
Oboro hummed at that. "When... after I killed my family I wandered about the streets, mad, terrified, hurting. I was looking at all those families and thinking, if I were your kid, you'd run to help me. But I was a stranger's kid, so they were turning their faces away."
Enji felt horrified. Had truly no one reached out a hand? "That's-"
"It was All for One's work. He probably used some Quirk on those people, to scare them away from me. He had planned everything perfectly well. And that moment too, a moment that defined... what I thought I was. To show me nobody cares, nobody will help, not a civilian, not a hero, not a policeman. It stayed with me. It was all a lie." There was a pause, Oboro again not seeing Enji for some minutes. "Still, it is a fact. You will always value your kid over a stranger's kid. Your approach to Dabi shows it well. Your child is more of a human being to you than other humans."
"It's... it's not only that," protested Enji quietly. "I am his parent. It's not only about me loving him more than I love a stranger. It's about my responsibility. I made him into what he is. It's not his fault he had a horrible father."
"That's bullshit," Oboro spat. "He is his own person. He is making his own choices. Children are not your dogs or horses to be trained and shaped how you want. He is who he wants to be and you're fucking diminishing him as a person saying shit like that."
"Oboro," The man glared at Enji using his first name again. "This is how things are. Your parents do shape you whether you want it or not, they are responsible for whether you'll grow up into a healthy strong human being or a broken one, unable to connect with others. I know it from my own life."
An actual fury flared in Oboro's eyes. "You fucking self-conceited know-it-all asshole! Look at you, thinking you've gained all the wisdom of the fucking world just because you're old and a Number One!"
"I don't-"
But Oboro was truly angry now. "My life is MY LIFE! I'm not just a puppet of my fucked up father! Don't you fucking be degrading me to a poor broken victim who is not capable of making any choices of their own! All for One did play me, he did, but my parents have no power over me! No one does anymore!"
Ah, so this was the sore spot. Enji was no therapist but thought that it would be good to help Oboro understand that he was wrong, fundamentally wrong. Understanding yourself was crucial to changing your ways after all, he knew it from his own experience.
"Oboro, isn't your need for destruction a way for you to deal with the fact that you, a little child, have killed your own father?"
Oboro froze. A familiar madness started tinting his eyes.
Enji continued nevertheless. "You have never forgotten that, have you, that you wanted to kill him." The madness intensified and Enji's self-preservation instinct tried to kick in but he shoved it away. "You were just a kid and he was your parent. Your parent. And you wanted to kill him and did kill him. This is not a thing any child can handle. And from that moment on you had to continue on this path of murder and destruction or else you'd gone completely mad, a little kid that you were. You had to keep justifying that murder with other murders, you had to tell yourself killing is fine or else you wouldn't cope."
A violent shudder tore through Oboro's body and Enji recognized a nervous breakdown coming. He recognized he had fucked up and badly, playing a therapist.
"Calm-"
"Shut up," heaved Oboro, pale as death, another shudder shaking him. "You fucking shut up! I wanted to kill him and d-did!" His teeth started clattering. Enji was reminded of what his kids had told him about the USJ attack, how Oboro, Shigaraki back then, would seem completely unhinged and thrown off his balance just because one of the cut-off hands had fallen onto the ground. He recalled future Shimura, Oboro, mentioning the drugs. What were those drugs exactly for? Enji knew close to nothing about this man, apart from the fact that he was broken and, being an idiot, decided to play the doctor. "You f-fucking know NOTHING! I k-killed him and it was my d-decision! I d-don't regret it! I never d-did!" His body went tense, muscles taut as he hugged himself, fingers driven into his arms, the violent shudders so strong it almost seemed like an attack of epilepsy. Mon-chan woke up and whined worriedly. "I d-don't regret k-killing anyone! T-they all d-deserved to die! I'll k-kill everyone, everyone t-that d-dares to stand in my way!"
"Oboro, please, let me help," Enji said quietly, moving closer. "The warmth and pressure helps, I know, I have seen attacks like this..."
"G-go fuck yourself!" Oboro fell heavily onto the ground, obviously trying to curl himself up but his body wouldn't cooperate.
Fuck this shit.
"I will take you in my arms, alright? I will squeeze you, pressure helps. It helps. You will feel better, Oboro."
Enji could barely hear the reply now from the clattering teeth but he could recognize a "no".
"Oboro, please. Tenko. It will help. It will."
Another inarticulate protest.
Enji hesitated and then did what truly felt wrong. But it felt even more wrong not to do a thing.
He took Oboro into his arms and kept him there tightly. "It will be fine, Tenko" he whispered.
"L-leave m-me or I'll k-kill you!"
"No."
Oboro's fingers drove painfully into his suit, and pain, the sharpest, most blinding he had ever felt radiated from there. His arms turned to dust and before he could blink the Decay reached the torso too and the darkness enveloped him.
Notes:
Sorry for ending in a moment like this but I realised it's here or else the chapter would be so unbelievably long. Anyway, I think we all know Enji won't die here, right? In the next chapter, we will deal with Enji's behavior and shed some more light on Oboro's poor state of mind (and body) that finally caused him to have this attack. I mean, there is only so long that you can try to be calm, and also self-neglect yourself. Also, Spinner and Mr Compress will reappear. And, nobody tell Kurogiri what happened or else he's gonna warp Enji into the most closed-off room in a Dwarven ruins to die, and never leave Oboro's side again.
Ah, right, I hope you didn't find the whole attack weird, but I still remember clearly that Shigaraki really was easily getting into panic attacks or something close enough. He is not that tough at all, All for One made sure of that. A 'weak' mind is easy to conquer, right? And AfO needed it to control poor Shiggy's body. But he's gonna be slowly healing from now on, now that Enji kindly and very skillfully made him face what hurt him so badly (well, one of the things).
Also, Kurogiri in Skyrim's Fine Clothes is just so perfect, he is.