Out of the Woods (The Walking Dead)
PART 3
No Sanctuary:
Suzy could remember the time her father died clear as day. She had never experienced loss before. She remembered how it felt. The dread, the hopelessness, the uncertainty and fragility of life. She had never felt so alone. Her best friend, her second sister, made all the difference in the world. Lucy taught her all about grounding; how to breathe, how to remind herself of where she was and hold her down in reality. Whenever she felt herself drifting away to be swallowed by her own panic, her second sister was there to bring her back. How did it all go again? She had to remind herself where she was...Live in the current moment...Where was she now? Who was she?
My name is Susan. I'm from New York. The world has ended, making me end up alone. I'm in Georgia after losing my family to look for something more. And now I'm in a train car, sitting on the hot metal floor. I'm not alone anymore. I've been captured with my friends. And now Daryl is here, too. We've been brought here to meet our end...
There was no time for words. No time for a hello and nice to see you. There was no time for anything. The beads of sweat dripping from her brow dripped onto the train car floor as she tried prying off a piece of wood from the frame. It was sharp enough. She looked over at Daryl standing watch at the door, peeking through the small crack of light to see if anyone was coming. She couldn't read his expression when she approached and said his name. What did he feel? Joy? Anger? Fear? There was no time for a loving reunion. There were more important things to do. They had to focus on fighting their way out. They were going to make it. She would just have to wait until this was all over to finally get the answers she'd been craving since she left the prison.
"All right," Daryl called out, "Got four of them pricks comin' our way."
Daryl was right. They could hear the voices outside. There was only one reason these assholes would be coming to open the door. They were here to round them up to be taken to the butcher house. They could hear other innocent voices calling for help, probably a group of others from another train car. Suzy remembered the horrors she saw when she came across the butchers. A naked body getting sawed with other pieces of meat and parts hanging in the back like slaughtered pigs. It was sick. They couldn't allow one of them to meet the same fate.
"Y'all know what to do," Rick said. Everyone stood up and got on their guard to prepare to fight, "Go for their eyes first. Then their throats."
"You ready?" Abraham looked down at Suzy holding her broken piece of wood up to her ear. She didn't look back but nodded. She had to keep her eye on the door.
"Good," Abraham said, doing the same.
"Put your backs to the walls on either side of the car!" A voice called from outside, "Now!"
Just then, a beam of light came from above. Everyone looked up at the bright sunlight, seeing the roof of the car had been opened instead of the main door. A can dropped in the middle of them, clanking against the metal floor a couple of times once it came down. There was a moment of silence before Abraham could process what it was.
"Move!" He shouted.
Everyone turned in opposite directions all at once. Abraham quickly put his hand on Suzy's back to rush her back with him. It was for nothing though. Once the gas went off, everyone was in disarray. They were coughing, eyes tearing from the gas. They were dizzy and couldn't see a thing now from the cloud of fog the tear gas formed around them. Suzy reached out her hand and looked around as best she could. She couldn't find Abraham anywhere now.
"Son of a bitch!" She heard one of the Terminus men shout through his gas mask. She could vaguely make out Rick's coat and him being shoved to the ground.
"R-Rosita!" Suzy shouted then broke out into a serious cough. Her eyes were tearing and burning so badly she couldn't see anything. When she tried calling out for Abraham or Eugene, she felt someone grab her by the arm and hoist her up. For a second, she was relieved, thinking it was Abraham. It wasn't until she was getting shoved out of the train car along with Rick that she realized it wasn't Abraham at all. The fall to the ground hurt something fierce. She landed on both her hands and knees, scraping them badly. She got kicked on her back so she was lying face down.
"No!" She heard someone shout. It sounded so far away like an echo. As the gas began to clear, she saw Daryl tackle the man who was coming for her to gag her and tie her up. She watched as Daryl beat the shit out of this guy who stood no chance. It was only because the other guys who already tied up Rick, Glenn, and Bob were able to come over and pull him off.
"Go!" Daryl shouted at her as she got to her feet, "Go!"
Suzy stumbled back to the train car and all but crawled up the stairs. She screeched Daryl's name as she saw him get taken away with the others, gagged and hands bound behind their backs with zip ties. And just like that, the door was slammed shut in front of her again, locking her and the rest back inside.
Everyone who was left panted for air to not only recover from the gas but also to relieve all the tension. There was so much to process in such a short amount of time. Suzy didn't move from the door. She wanted to-needed to-break out of here and do something. It was such a helpless feeling. She couldn't believe after all this time apart, Daryl gave himself up so quickly-so easily to save her life. Was this a sick joke being played on her by the universe?
"You need to calm down there, little one," Abraham's voice brought her back from a trance she didn't even know she was in. She found her scraped hands on the door. She had been pulling, punching, anything to desperately try to get it back open and smearing blood in the process. She turned around to see everyone staring at her. Abraham, Eugene, Maggie, Carl, Michonne, Sasha, Tara, Rosita. Suzy decided Abraham was right and moved away from the door so she could keep her head clear. She used her shirt to try wiping the blood despite how much it burned.
"You could've run," Rosita said as she approached from behind, "You should've. It was stupid not to."
"No," Suzy replied, "It would've been stupid trying to run out of here by myself. You can't expect me to leave all of you behind."
"It doesn't matter. What's done is done," Abraham said with that authoritative voice, "Best we can do right now is keep doin' what we're doin'. Keep our mouths shut and try not to swallow all the shit that's hittin' the fan. Even if the others don't make it."
"They will," Michonne said firmly.
"I'm just sayin'-" Abraham was interrupted so quickly he didn't know what happened. Out of nowhere, the entire train car was shaking from a sudden explosion from the outside. He rushed up to the door to try to see if he could see anything, but there wasn't a good view. He couldn't see where the explosion came from. When Suzy went to also have a look, they could both see the walkers beginning to flood inside.
"What the hell is going on?" Abraham grumbled.
"This place might be going down," Suzy said, "Something's happening out there."
"Someone hit 'em?" Said Michonne.
"Maybe our people got free," Said Sasha. Eugene quickly rushed to the door and picked up the empty tear gas can.
"What the hell are you doing?" Rosita snapped.
"I might be able to use this shell to compromise the door," Eugene answered, "From the sound of things, there may not be anybody left to open it-"
"Eugene," Tara said, "I'm sorry, but shut up."
"Okay." Eugene sighed.
"Nice," Suzy said in a quiet and raspy voice, nodding her head in approval.
"Thanks," Tara replied. At least they had something quick to bond over.
"Hey," Carl interjected, "My dad's gonna be back. They all are."
"They are," Maggie nodded, "And we need to get ready to fight our way out with them when they do."
"So we're playing optimistic now?" Suzy rolled her eyes. Suzy decided to stay back from the door and let Michonne keep watch instead.
"It's like you said," Rosita said to her, "Can't leave each other behind. We're in this together."
Rosita and Suzy nodded to each other with not only understanding but the utmost respect.
"Here," Abraham tossed Suzy some torn cloth. He gestured to the piece of wood she had broken off. She looked down at his hand and saw what he was doing with his own. She nodded and began tying the wood down to the back of her hand.
"Hey-" Suzy felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around to see it was not Rosita, but Tara.
"What?" Suzy said, turning back to look at what she was doing.
"I just wanted to say thank you," Tara said quietly, trying to keep the conversation somewhat private.
"For what?"
"For saving me before. You know, when I fell," Tara gave an awkward and embarrassed chuckle, "You didn't have to do that. I just wanted to let you know I'm grateful."
Suzy was silent for a while as she took in what Tara was saying.
"It was nothing," Suzy replied, trying to sound as uncaring as possible. Tara gave her a playful nudge on the shoulder.
"I always knew you were cool," Tara said, "I would've done the same for you. We cool?"
Suzy glanced down to see Tara, once again, holding out her fist. She reached out her palm to push Tara's fist back over to her then went back to wrapping her hand.
"I'm not doing that," Suzy said. Tara smiled to herself, knowing what that meant. They were cool now, even if Suzy wasn't used to it yet.
After that, it was quiet in the train car. There was nothing but the sound of bullets flying and people screaming from being eaten alive. It sounded like a damn war or massacre out there. Maybe they were better off staying in the safety of the car instead of trying to break out.
"You think that's gonna be worth it, Eugene?" Suzy asked. She watched him fiddling with the can by the door, "You don't think we should wait until the others make it back? We don't know what we're walking into 'till then."
"Yes, I do." Eugene replied firmly, "The only correct thing we can do right now in this moment is be prepared for this scenario to go in any direction."
Suzy scoffed, going back to her wrapping, "If you say so."
"What's the cure, Eugene?" Sasha spoke up, drawing everyone's attention.
"It's classified," Eugene replied.
"We don't know what's gonna happen," Michonne chimed in.
"You leave him be," Abraham chimed from the back.
"We need to keep workin'," Said Maggie.
"Yeah, but it's time to hear it." Sasha insisted, "'Cause we don't know what's coming next, like Michonne said."
"What's next is we get out of this," Tara said.
"Even if I told you all, even if I provided step-by-step instructions complete with illustrations and a well-composed FAQ and I went red-ring, the cure would still die with me."
"I'm not gonna let that happen," Abraham replied.
"He just insulted y'all, you heard that, right?" Suzy gave a sarcastic chuckle, making Abraham and Rosita give her that familiar glance of judgement to keep her comments to herself.
"Listen," Eugene said, "The best-case scenario, we step out into a hell storm of bullets, fire, and walkers. I'm not fleet of foot. I sure as hell can't take a dead one down with sharp buttons and hella confidence."
"You could if you tried," Suzy said in almost a sing-song tone, her voice really rising by the end in a completely teasing way. This caused Abraham to let out an annoyed grunt. Suzy looked at him confused, "What?"
"Zip it," He said in a low voice.
"But we can," Michonne said, continuing the original conversation, "And we will. Sasha stood.
"You don't owe us anything. Not yet," Sasha said, "But we just wanna hear it."
"You don't have to," Rosita spoke up. Suzy looked up at her since she was sitting on the floor now and Rosita stayed standing. She admired that blind trust Rosita had. She had forgotten what that was like. Suzy looked back at Eugene and watched the wheels turning in his head. They made eye contact for a brief second, causing her to raise her eyebrows at him. He could read her expression very well. He wasn't getting out of this conversation without giving an answer. He stood up slowly, looking around the room at everyone waiting for what he was going to say.
"I was part of a ten-person team at the Human Genome Project to weaponize diseases to fight weaponized diseases." Eugene said, "Pathogenic microorganisms with pathogenic microorganisms. Fire with fire. Interdepartmental drinks were had, relationships made, information shared. I am keenly aware of all the details behind fail-safe delivery systems to kill every living person on this planet. I believe with a little tweaking on the terminals in D.C., we can flip the script. Take out every last dead one of 'em. Fire with fire. All things being equal, it does sound pretty badass."
Suzy stood and let out a big sigh. She wasn't sure if it was from relief, annoyance, or amusement, or everything at once.
"At least it doesn't sound stupid," Suzy said under her breath while Maggie encouraged everyone to keep working.
Almost instantaneously, the moment they had been waiting for was hitting them right in the face. The train car door was opened, revealing the horrors of what was going on outside. There was fire, thick-black smoke, a herd of walkers had overrun the entire station. Rick had opened the door, yelling for them to fight their way to the fence, their original getaway point before getting locked in here.
"Do not leave his side!" Abraham yelled as they ran down the steps one by one.
The gunfire rang in Suzy's ears, the smoke clouded her lungs. However, the adrenaline coursing through her veins was stronger than ever. She called Daryl's name over and over as she fought her way down the road. The monsters were everywhere. She used her piece of wood to stab anything that came near her right in the eye every time.
"Here!" Daryl called out. Suzy turned and saw him tossing her a big knife he had gotten from the butcher house. She caught the handle swiftly and they worked together to fight their way to the fence. It was just like old times. She had forgotten so quickly how well they worked together. They didn't need words or signals. They had an ability to almost sense what the other would do and follow suit. She kicked one walker at the knees then stabbed it in the temple. Daryl grabbed one coming up behind her and threw it against the wall of one of the burning buildings and whacked it with a metal pipe he had broken off. She sliced another to the point where its blood splattered all over her front, staining her entire chest red.
"Up and over!" Rosita called out. She had gotten to the fence first. Everyone ran in her direction. Abraham got there next to help lift everyone over.
"Come on!" Abraham yelled. Rick was still shooting at some remaining Termites will Daryl and Suzy attempted to keep him covered from the herd.
"Daryl, go! We're right behind you!" Suzy screamed over the gunfire as she stabbed another up through its neck. Daryl did as she said and got to the fence.
"Rick!" Suzy grabbed him by his shoulder. The herd was closing in on them. There were too many to take down by themselves. They couldn't stay here another minute, "We need to go!"
"Come on, little one!" Abraham called, using his hand to gesture for her to get over as fast as possible. Suzy sprinted to the fence and took Abraham's boost up by putting her foot in his hands. He pushed her over so easily like she weighed nothing. She landed on her back on the other side, but Rosita was there to help people over. She grabbed Suzy's hand and hoisted her back up from the pile of leaves and on her feet. Once Rick flew over, Abraham finally joined, just in time before the herd could officially close in.
Rick took a quick look around, making sure they had gotten everyone. He counted in his head then nodded once he saw everyone was there. They did it. They all made it out together. Once everyone caught a breath and knew they were all together, they went further into the woods. Daryl was clearly tracking something up ahead with Rick. Once they got about a quarter mile away from Terminus, they stopped. Daryl pointed something out and pulled a small shovel out from a pile of leaves. Next thing they knew, Rick was digging like hell in the dirt.
"The hell are we still around here for?" Abraham said, already getting annoyed.
"Guns, some supplies," Rick answered as he kept digging. He had buried a bag of stuff out here in case things went bad, how typical, "Go along the fences, use the rifles. Take out the rest of them."
"I'm sorry?" Suzy said, placing a hand on her hip.
"They don't get to live," Rick looked back at her and the rest.
"Rick, we got out." Glenn said, "It's over."
"It's not over 'till they're all dead," Rick replied.
"The hell it isn't-" Rosita snapped right by Suzy's side, "That place is on fire. Full of walkers."
"I'm not dickin' around with this crap," Abraham sighed, "We just made it out."
"The fences are down," Maggie insisted, "They'll run or die."
"We got a win," Suzy said, "It'd be nice if we could-you know-keep it that way."
All odds against him, Rick finally accepted what they were saying and silently agreed to not go through with his plan. Suzy clutched her knife in her fist when she saw a sudden moment coming from behind Rick. After taking a closer look, she realized it wasn't a walker at all. It was someone alive. And Daryl wasted no time running up to her.
Suzy's jaw clenched so tightly her teeth grinded together as she watched it. Daryl automatically getting so excited to see Carol again to the point of tears. He hugged her so tightly it lifted her off her feet. Why was he so thrilled to see Carol instead? Why didn't he react the same when he saw her again for the first time in literal months? She wasn't even allowed to be angry about it because they all found out pretty quickly it was Carol who saved them in the first place. None of them would be standing here if it wasn't for her. Suzy didn't know whether to scream or cry. Rosita looked over at her and saw how intense her eyes were as she witnessed this reunion. She knew what it was. Rosita tried putting her hand on Suzy's shoulder to comfort her, to show she empathized and understood how she felt. However, Suzy immediately shrugged her off in silence so she could turn around and stand at the back of the group to collect herself. She didn't want anyone else to see how she really felt. She had to take multiple deep breaths to prevent herself from causing a scene. She couldn't take Daryl's moment from him. She just wished she could've been a part of it.
Carol then led everyone further out, about another mile, to a cabin. There, Rick and Carl sprinted up to it at the sight of a now bigger baby Judith. Suzy remembered holding her for the first time, thinking about if she could ever be a mother with her own little baby. She wasn't sure if she was the type. She was even more unsure with how she was now. Even Sasha got a loving reunion with her brother after being so uncertain whether or not he was alive. Suzy stayed back with Abraham and Rosita. Clearly she wasn't part of Rick's group anymore. Not enough for anyone to be happy to see her alive. At this point, she'd be surprised if any of them-especially Daryl-cared to see her at all. How could she blame them though? She was the one who left.
"We need to go," Rick said.
"Yeah, but where?" Daryl asked. Rick looked up at the smoke coming from Terminus.
"Somewhere far away from there."
Rosita gave a look to Abraham to silently ask if they were recruiting them or if they were going off on their own. Was it already time to start moving again? They were on a mission after all.
"We'll talk to him," Abraham said, "Not just yet."
Once everyone started moving down the tracks again and into the other side of the woods, Suzy thought about if she should try. She caught up to Daryl and placed her hand gently on his arm.
"Daryl-" She started but he didn't give her the chance to finish. Just as she thought, now that they weren't in life-threatening danger, there wasn't much to worry about anymore; nothing to cloud his feelings. He shrugged her off and let out a small grunt like he usually did. He pretended he didn't even notice her and kept on moving. Suzy bowed her head in shame, knowing exactly why he was doing this. She left. She didn't deserve a loving reunion. He wanted nothing to do with her.
And she knew she deserved every piece of it.