Past and Present

Zack never spent much time dwelling on the past. He didn't see the point. It had already happened and couldn't be changed. Reliving it would be illogical. And since time travel was scientifically impossible, he figured trying to change the past would be a waste of time. And if time travel were theoretically possible, wouldn't it make more sense to move forwards instead of backwards? The young genius would have never guessed that these would be the thoughts keeping him awake one warm summer night after Charli's arrival.

Zack found it best to look ahead. Even when he was committed to McKinley, he was focused on what was in front of him at the time and did his best to put the Jeffersonian team out of his mind. At least temporarily.

He hated that he hurt his friends. If he could take it back, he would do so in a heartbeat. But such thoughts were not rational. They only served to relieve some of the pain and guilt he felt. But he felt he deserved the pain and guilt. Relieving him from them would not solve anything. He knew he had messed up, and he was willing to pay the price. It was the only logical thing to do.

Zack put these thoughts out of his mind. He went where he was supposed to go and did what he was supposed to do. It wasn't exciting or glamorous, but eventually he found comfort in the monotony. Zack never expected Charli's arrival to change that.

After that day in the Zen Garden, Zack and Charli began to see each other somewhat regularly. She made a point to talk to him whenever their paths crossed. He liked that. Sam would always wave or at least nod to him whenever they passed by each other. Sweets would greet him and make sure he wasn't in a crisis, but often the psychologist had somewhere to be and didn't stay to chat. But Charli stayed, and they talked. Zack wasn't sure when it started, but at some point, he began hoping he would run into her, even going out of his way on a few occasions in hopes of seeing her.

By Charli's third week, they were talking regularly. It had started as a simple "hello" in passing. The hello then became a "How it's going?", and they would discuss the events of their day or their upcoming plans.

This continued until one morning when he ran into her leaving the cafeteria after breakfast.

"Hi Zack," Charli smiled up at him. He enjoyed their 4-inch height difference, there was just something about it he found endearing. Charli also always remembered his name. He liked that too.

"Hello."

He wanted to say something more to her, anything, but he wasn't sure where to begin. Luckily, Charli took pity on him.

"I was going to take a walk around the grounds; do you want to join me?"

"Yes," Zack answered perhaps a bit too quickly. The idea of spending more time with her excited him. If Charli noticed his enthusiasm, she was kind enough not to comment on it. "I think I would enjoy the chance to have a longer conversation with you."

Charli smiled again. Zack found he was really beginning to enjoy that smile.

"I think I would like that too. I would really like pick your brain about forensic anthropology if you don't mind."

Zack hesitated. He knew he wasn't good with idioms, but would she think less of him if he admitted that to her? He decided the chance to spend more time with her was worth the risk.

"I don't quite follow," he began hesitantly. "But I sense you are using an idiom and do not wish to actually dissect my brain."

Charli laughed lightly. He liked that laugh too. It was kind and gentle, and nothing like the taunting laughter he had endured from his classmates throughout high school and college.

"No, Zack," she shook her head. "It just means that I would like to ask you some questions about anthropology."

"Oh," Zack breathed a sigh of relief. "Then no, I would not mind at all if you 'picked my brain' as you called it."

"Great, let's go!"

Zack followed Charli to the nearest exit, and they began to make their way around the grounds and up to the Zen Garden.

"So, Dr. Addy," she began. "What drew you into the world of anthropology?"

"I suppose I was always interested in bones to some extent, and I always knew I would end up in a scientific field. My intelligence allows me to do many things, particularly large calculations, in my head and this has proven to be quite an advantage."

"Very impressive," Charli replied and Zack's heart fluttered slightly. "What is it about the bones that interests you?"

Zack paused. He felt a bit embarrassed to be admitting this to her, but so far, she had accepted him. Logically, she should accept this too, right?

"It's something I can understand," he admitted. Charli remained focused on him as she jumped over a fallen branch in their path. He followed her, carefully stepping over the fallen foliage one foot at a time. "I…have often times found humans and their emotions to be confusing and difficult to comprehend."

"But bones make sense."

As usual, Charli's tone wasn't malicious but rather accepting. Zack was beginning to wonder if this girl was even capable of being mean. He hoped she wasn't.

But then why the handcuffs upon arrival?

"Yes," he responded, relieved his logic had not failed him on this one. "Bones make sense. They can tell you a lot about a person, and being rooted in science it comes naturally to me."

"Can they tell you how someone lived?"

"Yes, often there are occupational markers, or we can run a histological profile."

"Wow," Charli looked up at him in awe. "That's amazing. How far back can you go?"

"What do you mean?"

Charli paused to think about how to phrase her question.

"I broke my wrist as a child," she began. "Could you see that now, even though I was only nine when it happened?"

"Yes," Zack replied, happy that he was able to teach her something. "There would be evidence of remodeling from the bone healing."

They had made their way around the garden now and sat down on the bench overlooking the lake.

"May I ask you some questions now?"

"Sure," Charli agreed. "What would you like to know?"

Zack hesitated. He had several questions, and didn't know which ones, if any, were appropriate to ask. Charli's blue eyes remained locked on him, the slight breeze blowing her jet-black hair around her face.

"I can see the wheels turning in your brain."

The anthropologist blinked.

"My brain doesn't have wheels."

That pretty laugh again.

"Just an expression, cutie," Charli explained. "It means I can see that you are processing a lot of thoughts in your mind right now. And you seemed a little overwhelmed by it."

"Yes," Zack was impressed. Only Hodgins and Gianna had ever picked up on his discomfort before, and there were still a few times it went unnoticed.

"As I mentioned earlier, human interaction is difficult for me," he began uncertainly. "And I have been told that sometimes the questions I ask are either inappropriate or offensive."

"I'm not easily offended," Charli assured him. "Try me. I'll let you know if it's too much."

"Okay," Zack thought through all his questions trying to pick the best one to start with.

"Why do you enjoy psychology?"

"Similar reasons to why you enjoy anthropology," she began. "I've always been curious about people, and I find human behavior fascinating. Psychology explains it in a way I understand and even helps me in my own relationships."

That was a good answer, he thought. Charli does appear to have an exquisite understanding of human relationships. He wanted to know more.

"Helps you how?"

Charli hesitated before responding. Zack briefly wondered if he had upset her, but she had said she would tell him if that was the case, right?

"With my sister mostly," she answered. "Despite sharing a face, Callie and I were sometimes quite different people. Psychology helped us to see the other's perspective and come to a resolution."

That's kind of beautiful.

"How long ago did she pass?"

Charli's face fell, and Zack instantly began apologizing.

"I'm sorry, it appears I have crossed-"

"No, it's ok," Charli cut him off. "You didn't do anything wrong. Her death is just difficult to talk about sometimes."

"Because you miss her," Zack concluded.

"Yes," Charli answered. "Every day, but to answer your question…about six months ago."

Charli was frowning again. Zack didn't like that. The sad expression seemed odd and out of place on her usually cheerful face. Charli was a happy person; he wanted that for her. Maybe there was a happier question he could ask her? Visiting Day was on Sunday; seeing Hodgins always cheered him up.

"Is someone coming to see you this Sunday?"

"Probably just my lawyer this week," she responded. "But my grandmother is coming next week. She wants to visit more often, but travel is sometimes difficult at her age."

"Will your parents come with her?"

"No," Charli's voice was flat and emotionless this time. He didn't like that. "My parents haven't been in the picture in a long time."

Damn, why did everything happen to this girl?

Zack waited, but Charli didn't elaborate. He wondered how much she had actually been through. She looked like she was around his age.

"How old are you?"

The question tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop it. Hodgins had told him early on that he should never ask a lady her age. But, as usual, Charli answered him without showing any sign of indignation about the question.

"Twenty-six," she answered. "You?"

"Twenty-seven," he replied.

He couldn't help but wonder just how much had this girl been through in her short life.

Zack tossed and turned in his bed that night. It was unusual for the genius to feel overwhelmed, but for once in his life, Zack felt there was too much going on in his head. How had he gone from a criminal's apprentice only avoiding prison by pleading mental incompetence to having a pretty girl by his side willingly spending time with him?

Zack had felt excluded, and that had been his downfall. He knew any exclusion he felt was unintentional, so he never spoke up about it. He knew his friends cared about him, but they were busy with their own lives. Hodgins and Angela were trying to find her first husband and then dealing with the subsequent fallout once they did find him. Dr. Brennan was working almost non-stop between homicide investigations and teaching her graduate students. In the rare moments she wasn't working she was attempting to mend her relationship with her estranged father or being dragged into something by Agent Booth or Angela. Cam was always nice to him, but being a department head was quite time-consuming. And Agent Booth had always had his own agenda. So, Zack carried on, silently, with his insecurities intact.

Until he met The Master. The Master paid attention to him. The Master provided the guidance Zack felt he had been lacking. The Master told him he needed him, that he depended on him even. And Zack enjoyed feeling wanted. He always knew The Master was a criminal, but how could he go against what, at the time, had appeared to be sound logic? Especially if he thought what he was being asked to do was helping?

Zack had not expected it to hurt so much when his friends found out what he had done. He could not hear the words they had spoken outside of his hospital room, but he knew he would never forget the looks on their faces, and the tears that mixed with own as Dr. Brennan kissed his forehead. And yet, despite their disappointment, they had stayed by his side until the moment he was escorted from the hospital in handcuffs. Even Agent Booth had lost his gruff exterior in that moment, standing there with a stoic look on his face and an arm around Dr. Brennan's shoulders.

Zack was terrified of disappointing his friends again, so he had begun running almost every thought in his head by either Hodgins or Sweets or both. He would have to ask them both about the best way to go about pursuing a friendship with Charli. He really enjoyed her company. And this time, with her, he was determined to do it right.