TW: This chapter mentions surgery, gore, and has the major character death I listed in the tags. Please proceed at your own risk.

Dear Diary,

I think I just realized my new worst fear: losing Luz.

I had this horrible nightmare last night, and it's been replaying in my head all day. I don't know why it happened, it just did. Like most of my nightmares, it started off all sweet and saccharine but went downhill really fast. Despite the heavy reading I tried to do or as many conversations as I tried to hold throughout the day, I still can't fully shake off what happened.

Luz and I were at Grom together, the one I couldn't bring myself to ask her to, dancing the night away as the newly named Grom queens. We were having the best time, we even taught each other a few dances. She taught me something called the bachata (I hope I spelled that right), and she told me that she and her mom did it all the time back home. It took me a while, but I eventually fell into her rhythm, and we danced like it was only us in the room.

After Luz taught me her dance, Principal Bump called us up to the stage to formally recognize us for defeating Grom. He announced us as co-queens, and he announced our royalty dance. Luz took my hand, and we talked together to the middle of the dance floor. Our classmates parted as we walked through them, and they took their seats in the bleachers along the walls of the gym, leaving us alone in the middle. The house band started playing this little doo-wop song, and we began to sway to the music. I was initially really anxious, having to dance on the fly in front of all those people. But, being with Luz gave me a massive confidence boost, one I wish I had before the night even began. I guess the adrenaline of fighting Grom got me through our first dance. While I was lost in thought, Luz wrapped her arm around my waist, and I wrapped mine around hers, coming back into reality then losing myself once more, this time in the moment. We waltzed around the room, dipping and spinning each other, much to the excitement of our classmates. The dance was slow and sweet, a lot less swingy than the one we had somehow managed to pull off when fighting Grom. We may or may not have stepped on each other's toes a few times, but it was such a beautiful moment. It felt like we were the only girls in the world.

It was bliss.

After the song ended, the normal, more-peppy music resumed, and everyone returned to the dance floor. I don't know what came over me, but a little voice told me I needed to confess. In that moment, I decided to tell Luz the truth about the note, and why I was so afraid to face Grom myself. I told her I needed to talk to her privately, and we walked into the hallway. To escape the noise and commotion coming from the dance, we walked a few hallways down and stopped over by the auditorium. The hall was so quiet that I almost heard my pounding heart over the click of my heels on the tile floor. To say that I was nervous was an understatement, I felt like I was about to explode.

Luz asked me if I wanted to apologize for stepping on her during the dance. She said that, if so, it was totally okay. I laughed it off, and said "no, it's not about the dance". I then stuttered and said that it actually kinda was about the dance. I couldn't form the words I wanted to say, so I dug around in my dress pocket until I found the larger chunk of paper. I handed it to her, and she unfolded it. She asked me why I gave her the bottom half of the note, she said she already saw it and realized that I was afraid of getting rejected. So, I found the smaller slip of paper, and handed it to her.

As she unfolded it, a look of confusion spread on her face, which turned to shock as she read her name. It took her a second to put it together, but once she did, she looked up at me and smiled.

"Amity," she said, "why were you so nervous to ask me to Grom? You know I would have said yes, right?"

My jaw almost hit the floor. I sat there speechless, my mind reeling at her revelation.

"You know, I guess that makes two of us," she continued, a blush spreading across her cheeks. "I actually kinda wanted to ask you to Grom too, but I just didn't know how," she said, rubbing the back of her neck and looking down at the floor.

I felt my eyes well up with tears and a smile grow across my face. All the fear I had in me dissipated at that moment, and I finally mustered up a reply.

"I was so scared to ask because I didn't think you liked me like that. Sure, we've started to become friends, but I didn't think we could make it as anything more, given our history," I said meekly, almost unable to meet her eye.

After a moment of silence, Luz looked back up at me and began to close the gap between us. I had a feeling of what was about to come next, but I was frozen in place, unable to do anything.

She put one hand on my shoulder, one hand under my chin, leaned in, and kissed me.

I have no words that can fully describe how amazing it felt. It was like millions of little lightning bolts were striking, and everything felt warm, in a good way. The best way. It felt like the world stopped spinning and everything froze in time. I couldn't hear, see, or feel anything other than her.

It was beautiful.

After the initial shock wore off, I returned the kiss, deepening it. To risk sounding really cheesy, I wish that moment could have lasted forever. It really felt like it did.

"Does that answer your question?" she asked after we finally broke it off.

I could only nod and give her the biggest hug I could. We eventually parted, and we started to walk hand-in-hand to the gym, reveling in the moment we had just shared.

"So, does this mean you-" Luz began.

"GET HER!" a loud booming voice interrupted. Suddenly, Coven scouts began filling the hallway, swarming Luz and I like fire bees. We gave each other a nod and began to fight them off as best as we could. Luz started wailing on them with her glyphs, and I summoned an abomination so tall that it nearly broke through the ceiling. Our attacks only wiped out about half of the guards, we were somewhat spent from our earlier battle against Grom. Ultimately, it was only the two of us against what felt like a whole army. We were too far from the gym to get any help. It was up to us to defeat them.

But, we couldn't.

In one fell swoop, Luz was knocked out, and dragged out of the fight by a small demon lady. I think it was Kikimora, but I'm still not sure. I don't wanna be sure. She almost looked more horrific than her, if that's even possible. I screamed and began clawing at the guards that surrounded them, all to no avail. The remaining guards swarmed the kidnapper and escorted them out of the school. I tried to run after them, but I was held back by a force field of some sort. I looked back to see what could possibly be preventing me from rescuing my Luz, and I saw him- The Golden Guard.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the youngest Blight," he said, looking me up and down. "It looks like you've become pretty close to the criminal. Emperor Belos doesn't want any rats spoiling his plans, I think it's best you come with me," he said as he put the now-glowing tip of this staff towards my throat.

I could feel the energy radiating off of it, and it caused my body to start shaking. Swallowing the fear that had since reemerged, I swiftly summoned two abomination arms from my side satchel and attempted to snag him. He started to put up a fight, and zig-zagged through the hall in blasts of gold light. With his immense speed, he wound up behind me and bound my hands together, causing me to lose control of my spell. "It's no use, Amity. She's gone, and you won't be far behind her. Let's go, princess," he said before he knocked me out with the melody of a bard's pennywhistle.

I came to with a pounding headache, and my sore muscles nearly bound me to the bed. Fluttering my eyes open, I saw a wooden slab above me. Swiftly rolling off the one I was laying on, I immediately began looking for Luz. She was nowhere in sight, and I soon realized that I was sitting in a cell in the Conformatorium. I called out for her, anxiety lacing my voice. But, I got no response.

"Shut up and quit your screaming, kid. It's not gonna do anything to help you," a Coven Scout said. "Here, change out of your dress and into this," she said as she threw me a prison uniform similar to that of the detention track's back at school. As I changed, I saw the cuts and bruises that had been left on my arms and legs, signs of the fights I had just lost, and cruel reminders that I had just lost the girl of my dreams. Looking at my once pristine purple dress, I found that it was now adorned with tears, dirt, and what looked like some blood stains.

I thought of school and what had happened before we were captured. I wondered if anyone noticed that Luz and I were gone. I was sure the dance had ended. From the little bit of light seeping into the cell from the window, it looked like it was early the next morning. Ed, Em, and Eda must be out looking for us, right? Surely Willow and Gus had noticed too, they were with us from the time we got back until Luz and I went into the hallway.

Until I pulled her into the hallway.

It hit me. This was all my fault.

If I had just told her how I felt the morning before, none of this would have happened! She wouldn't have taken my spot as Grom Queen, we wouldn't have had to both get our hearts broken, and we wouldn't be wherever we were right now.

As I sat in my cell trying to sort out the hundreds of thoughts that were flowing through my mind, the familiar boy with the really annoying voice came over. "Oh good, you're awake!" he said with a smirk. "The emperor said he had something to show you," he said as he lifted the bars that held me inside. "And don't even think about trying to use any magic while I'm taking you to him. The walls are reinforced to deflect any spell back to its caster, and you'll just make what's about to happen to your little girlfriend a thousand times worse," he whispered evilly into my ear.

Oh fuck, Belos had Luz.

Hunter led me into a room with a single chair and a glass window that looked out onto an empty operating table. There was an accessory cart sitting next to it, full of what appeared to be sharp scalpels and other little medical tools. After shoving me into the chair, he secured me onto it using some metal cuffs that went around my wrists and ankles, rendering me immobile.

"And just to make sure there's no funny business during the procedure, I have a few friends that will be watching you while I help the emperor," he said as two figures entered the room. When I could finally summon the courage to look at them, I realized they looked like Edric and Emira, except with a permanent smile plastered to their faces. It looked like they were almost happy to see me in pain. It was like they were disfigured by an illusion, or under some sort of oracle command.

"Don't try to pull anything, Blight," Hunter said. "Or else, you'll end up like her," he said, gesturing towards the operating room, where a trio of "surgeons" wheeled in a nearly lifeless Luz, who was adorned with a long white cloth, the edges of her coat and tutu peeking out underneath it. I could see her chest moving ever so slightly, my heart leapt knowing that she was still alive.

"Luz!" I yelled, attempting to wake her from my seat. "What, did you do to her?" I growled at Hunter, venom dripping off every word.

"No need to worry yourself about that, Amity." he said while turning to leave the room. "You should be more worried about our main event."

As he left, I looked back out to the operating room, trying to figure out how I could stop them before they hurt Luz. They were all wearing dark blue scrubs and matching masks with a Healing Coven sigil on them, but there was no mistaking the sea-foam green bun, Abomination goo-soaked beard, or horribly scarred face poking out of them. A few moments later, Hunter arrived in a matching set of scrubs, ready to aid as needed. He handed Belos a scalpel, and watched as his superior made the first incision into Luz's chest, dragging the blade deeper and deeper into her soft skin.

"Look at that, a human heart," Belos said as he pulled it out of her. It beat a few times, pumping the little bit of blood it could through her body. I could see her body fighting, trying to keep thriving in any way possible. Her chest was slowly rising and falling, breaths getting more ragged by the second. I felt hot tears welling in my eyes, unable to pull them away from the spectacle going on below me.

Then, with one final breath, she went limp.

"LUZ!" I yelled out, blinking to see if what had just happened was real. She didn't hear me, she didn't move.

"I haven't seen one of these since- well, that doesn't matter. It doesn't seem to have any bile sac connected to it, it's practically useless to me," Belos declared, forcibly shoving it back into her. My parents murmured in agreement, and they began looking and prodding at some of her other organs as if they were doing some sick human anatomy lesson. I don't know if they realized what they did to her, I'm sure they did, but they just didn't care.

They didn't care that she was gone. They didn't care that they killed the love of my life.

I tried to bust out of the chair so I could save Luz, and murder Belos and my parents while I was at it. But, the restraints held me back, and my "siblings" began to taunt me. They began to laugh at my struggle, and at the show occurring on the other side of the glass. Noticing the noise, the four murderers looked up to the booth, and saw the twins laughing at me. They began to join them, staring at me as I made yet another futile attempt to escape their clutches. Their laughing overpowered everything around me and consumed my thoughts until I let out a shrill scream in an attempt to drown out their torture. After I screamed, the room started fading to white, and I began hearing my name. At first, it sounded like Luz, and I started calling out for her again. Then, the tone of the voice shifted, it almost sounded like Emira, then Edric. Their calls sounded more flustered than the Luz-like ones I heard, but their voices faded with the room.

I was awoken from the twisted dream to the twins shaking me, calling my name and asking if I was okay. When I recognized who had just woken me up, I immediately yelled at them through hot, raging tears to get out of my room, which they did without hesitation. I think they were as scared of me as I was angry at them. I kinda hoped I didn't wake mom and dad, I didn't have the energy or control to not go off on them too. My mind was still stuck in dream mode and believed they all had actually been accomplices in a plot to hurt my girlfriend. When I finally returned to reality, I found my heart pounding and my pajamas and sheets drenched in sweat. After the full gravity of the dream hit me, I began to silently break down, crying out of shock, fear, and confusion until I had to leave for school. I avoided the twins, mom, and dad while getting ready, so none of them would see me and ask me what happened.

When I got to school this morning, I saw Luz standing by her locker and talking with Willow and Gus. I had to do a double-take through puffy, tear-stung eyes and make sure it was her, tiny remnants of the nightmare still clouding my judgment. I don't think I've ever run up to her faster or given her a bigger hug. It took everything in me not to start crying on her shoulder. She was a bit taken aback by the sudden embrace, but I told her everything was okay, and that I was just really happy to see her. She seemed a little wary at first, noticing the difference in my eyes. I mean, I think she's gotten lost in them enough to know when something's up, but I gave her a grin that seemed to mask the actual meaning of the hug. The four of us chatted until the bell rang, Luz gave me a kiss on the cheek, then we went off to our respective classes. I really needed that today.

When I got home, I tried to somehow rationalize my nightmare to make myself feel better. I thought that maybe if I counteracted the dream with reality, maybe I could shake it out of my head. I glanced at the picture I have of me, Luz, Willow, and Gus, and instantly remembered what really happened at Grom. Sadly, I didn't get to admit my feelings, and we didn't kiss in the hallway, but we still had an amazing night together. Willow and I started to reconnect, and I got to know Gus. They're some pretty amazing people, and I'm so proud to call them my friends.

Now, onto the harder part of the dream- why my family was in it. I obviously know why Belos and the Hunter were in it, they both want Luz in their clutches (well, the GG wants her in Belos' hands, he's just his right-hand man) for the "crime" of her standing up to them. Willow told me that Hunter isn't as bad as he seems, that he actually let her and a few others go when they were fighting against Darius. I wanna believe that Willow thinks he's good, but sometimes she's too trusting of others, kinda like Luz. If he was such a good guy, why would he give Willow a fake name? And why would he try to bring them to the Emperor's Coven? They're all still kids, none of them (none of us, really) are ready for their sigils, and none of them should even be in the Emperor's Coven!

My parents, well, aren't always there, especially dad. I know he said he's trying to be a better parent, but I don't know how much he'll see that through. Mom, though, has always put the business (and her happiness, for that matter) over us. It seems like every deal she makes means more to her than any of the kids she thought she wanted. No wonder she'd be in the operating room.

As for Ed and Em, I have no clue why they'd be in there. Our relationship has gotten a lot better over the past few months, especially after the night at the library. They've genuinely become nicer, and I feel like they have started caring about me more, though we still have our minor sibling fights every once and a while. I guess we have Luz to thank for that!

Maybe the dream was fueled by what happened at the Bonesborough Brawl yesterday. I was so scared of seeing her get hurt in a fight, but I knew that she would be kicking ass and taking names. But still, I can't get rid of the idea of the love of my life getting hurt. She's making her own way here on the Isles, but she might come along someone who's a little too strong for her one day, and I don't wanna even begin to think of the fallout from that.

After I somewhat finished deciphering my dream, I went to go find the twins. I knew I owed them an apology. I found them chilling in Edric's room, taking a break from their homework. I knocked on his door, and told me to come in. I stood in the doorway for a sec, they looked up at me worriedly, and I asked if I could sit with them. They said yeah, and they made a spot for me on the bed. I began telling them why I had acted out this morning and went into the details of the dream. I had to catch my composure a few times, but I ultimately did it. They listened without saying a word, and Ed even started tearing up a bit. I finished the story with an apology, and they both gave me a long, tight hug. They told me that they love Luz as much as I do, and they see her as family now that we're dating. They also said that they're happy to see me happy and would never intentionally do anything to hurt me or those I love. They wanna help me protect her, and to help her protect me, as much as possible.

With this whole Day of Unity mess coming up, and I know I sound really dramatic by saying this, I don't know how much time we'll have left together. While I don't know exactly what's gonna happen yet, I have a feeling that it's not good. And I still don't know what Terra meant when she said that Belos was looking forward to meeting Luz again. I know they must have met during Eda's "failed" petrification ceremony, and he got the portal from her, but what else would he want with her?

Diary, I'm so scared of what my future holds. I've barely begun to live, but it feels like the world is about to collapse. Luz and I have been together for about a month and a half, and we haven't been able to do much as a couple. I don't wanna go into whatever Belos is planning without her by my side. She's my everything, she's part of why I'm the person I am today. She's my rock, and she's taught me so much in the short time I've known her. I love her, so much. More than she'll ever know. I don't know what I'd do if I lost her. Part of me thinks that I would try to join her.

I need to go find Luz, I just need to be with her right now. Maybe I'll explain the dream to her, she might be able to better help me figure out why I had it.

Scared and scarred,
Amity

A/N: This was one of my favorite chapters to write (if not, my favorite so far). I wrote a large chunk of it the day after Clouds on the Horizon premiered, back while I was supposed to be writing chapter 6 of this story. But, I've been tweaking it since then, and boy did it come out to be *something*. Hell, the death wasn't even in the original idea, it came to me at the beginning of September '22. (See how long I've had this one in my reserves for?) The more romantic aspects were inspired by COTH (and of course, Enchanting Grom Fright), but anything else was just my mind wandering.