A/N: The talk of panic attacks and their cure, if there really is any, is not going to be on a professional level. We are seeing through the pov's of such persons who have had much much worse conditions to live in since their childhood. Their understanding and take of such issues is not going to be like normal people. If anyone reading this minds the way I'm taking all these issues, I apologise.

Thank you so much to the Guest for your kind review. It means a really big thing to be told that my writing is good, and that you're liking this fic. Thank you so much, dear! :)

This is short, I will update soon though!

Ch 18

(A part of past-Il)

The redhead turned around at the sound of footsteps approaching him, finding Kai standing beside him with two cups of coffee.

The bluenette gave one to him and sat down beside him.

The day was almost to it's end and a cool breeze was blowing. Tala had dragged him out into the garden and currently, they were sitting on some wooden chairs that stood in one corner of the garden.

The wooden table was filled with papers and textbooks, scales and in between all laid Kai's laptop.

Kai picked up one of the papers, written on which were various mathematical problems.

He picked a pen and started solving them one by one, while the redhead scrolled mindlessly through his laptop.

Having found nothing that may catch his attention, he shut it down and leaned back in his chair.

"When is it going to be done?" He asked the other, watching the paper that was more than half filled.

"Not soon," Kai replied without looking up.

Tala sighed heavily, at which Kai continued further, "I need to get all this shit done by the end of the week, Tala. Not that you're helping."

Tala sat up straighter, "Who even told you to agree to Mr. Dickenson about joining the team?"

"I had no choice. Besides, if I don't listen to him, he's gonna start blackmailing me. All thanks to you for telling him everything," he rolled his eyes.

"But I-

"He told me that I needed to cooperate or else he wouldn't cooperate with me either. You know what it means? He was talking about my fucking issues!"

Tala raised his eyebrows. The old man didn't seem like that. But then again, when dealing with Kai, you had to use false tricks or else you would miserably fail.

"He told you that if you didn't join, he would get you to a shrink?"

"He didn't say that, but he meant exactly that, I know."

"When are you going to go?"

"Next week," the bluenette replied, looking at him, "This is the only week of peace I have."

He went back to his task, while Tala kept looking at him.

It had been six days since he had been here, and in that span, Kai hadn't had any panic attacks, not in front of him, at least. If he had one at school or two days ago when he had gone God knows where, that he didn't know of. But looking at him, it didn't feel like he had any. Not today, or the day before at least.

His fever had almost completely gone away, but his eating habits were still the same.

"Kai?"

"Hn?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Kai left the pen on the paper and turned to him. Usually the redhead didn't ask for his permission for asking yet another thing. Usually he just blurted out.

"What?"

Tala cleared his throat, gathering his words, before letting out, "What does it feel like?"

Kai raised an eyebrow.

"A panic attack, what does it feel like?"

Kai stared at him for a second before looking away.

"You don't need to know," he whispered, staring in front of him, before picking up his pen again.

Tala bit his lip, cursing himself for asking that question. He had upset Kai.

"Kai, listen-

"Tala, it would be better if you keep your mouth shut," the piercing glare accompanying the words shut him up.

He nodded slowly, fidgeting with his hands,while Kai got back to work.

He mentally kicked himself for being so stupid. Asking Kai something so sensitive so openly wasn't a wise thing to do.

Also, it would make Kai feel like a patient talking about his illness, and for Kai to accept that he was anything near vulnerable was a difficult thing.

The sun slowly set making the sky various shades darker, the stars and moon appearing through, combined with the clouds, creating an exquisite scenery.

Kai stood up and started collecting his things before picking them all up in a pile and making his way towards the doors.

Tala sighed and stood up, picking up the empty mugs and followed him.

By the time he went to Kai's room, the younger was already studying again.

He let out a huff and went back downstairs.

Snapping the book close, the bluenette leaned back on his chair, finally finished with the work.

He felt a headache appearing in his head, his eyes tired from focusing so much for the past many hours.

He stood up, clearing all the clutter on his desk and putting everything in place, before going downstairs.

Getting no sign of the redhead, he asked Vladimir, finding that he had gone out.

"Did he say where?"

The older shook his head, "No master, he didn't."

A frown appeared on his forehead, where had he gone?

The sound of footsteps behind him caught his attention, his eyes landing on the bluenette standing over him.

The night was breezy and dark, save for the half moon and the stars that provided a dim light.

Kai sat down beside him on the grass, watching the city lights below creating artificial constellations.

"Finished your work?" the redhead asked, watching the silent face.

The other nodded.

"It's dinner time, why did you come here?"

"Since when did you start caring about meals?" A smirk formed on the redhead's lips, which fell as Kai didn't say anything.

"Kai?"

The bluenette pursed his lips, staring blankly at the city below, "You find it amusing, Tala?" The red eyes were now cold, staring at him.

Tala shook his head, "Why would you think that?"

"Because I do," Kai turned his gaze back to the view, his voice blank and emotionless. "I find it amusing how I've deteriorated myself to this point."

Tala raised an eyebrow, watching him fixedly.

"I find it amusing how all my life I was trained to be something that I've become the complete opposite of today."

Tala opened his mouth to say something, but his words were cut off as the other started speaking again.

"What do you think?"

The redhead tilted his head in confusion, "About what?"

"About what it feels like."

A frown appeared on Tala's forehead, before he caught on to it.

"I don't know," he shrugged, staring at the city the same way Kai was before, before turning to look at him. "We can only feel something when we have actually experienced it, right?" He let out softly.

The crimson eyes looked pained for a moment before they turned away.

Tala put a hand on Kai's shoulder. "Look, I can't really fully understand what you are going through, and I don't have any idea about how it's supposed to be cured. Because, seriously, what would talking to a complete stranger once in a while do? If you were to go, you wouldn't even talk. You'd just glare at them the whole time. (He chuckled a little.) Or if there are other ways. And also, what about your nightmares? Your eating habits? I don't know what is going to take it all away. But still, Kai, know that we're all here for you."

Kai stayed quiet, though the words caused a stir in his heart.

The wind was picking up speed now. It seemed like it was going to rain.

"And don't even for a fucking second think that you are troubling us."

Kai nodded at him, getting a small smile before Tala continued, "Rather…"

A slate eyebrow rose.

"Rather, if someone troubles you," he pointed to himself, "I'll take care of them."

The calm expression on Kai's face broke, he scoffed, before a chuckle escaped him, "And how would you do that? Your arms resemble twigs."

Tala, feeling indignant, shoved him down, "Yours are no better!"

Kai, still laughing lightly, stood up, "Let's go."

Tala followed his lead and stood up too, looking up at the clouds.

"We should hurry.".

"I wasn't the one who came here in the first place at this time."

Tala hit his arm in response, getting a smirk in return. He huffed and started his way back, leaving Kai a few steps behind, muttering to himself.

Kai shook his head, looking up with widened eyes as small drops of rain started to fall. He ran behind Tala to catch up with him, both of them reaching the mansion in time for a full blown downpour to begin.

Tala let out an unflattering whistle as he made his way out of the bathroom, rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

After having a look at his hair in the mirror, he groaned and flung the towel in a far away corner – which he was going to pick up before Kai came back – he threw himself on the bed.

It was his – he counted on his fingers – seventh day in Japan. He was missing his teammates, but he didn't want to leave either, at least not yet.

In actuality, he was going to have to leave eventually because Kai had to go join his team.

His team, consisting of: a big-mouthed kid whose unreal ego needed a little breaking, a blondie whom he had been feeling disgusted by since the day he had seen him jumping around being sugar high, a kitty boy, the one Bryan had hurt, who gave him a suspicious feeling, seemingly close to Kai, as if, a nerd, whom he didn't give a second thought.

Among such a hideous company, how was Kai going to survive? Especially when he had enough trouble to deal with himself.

Hadn't Kai given that a thought? Weren't his teammates going to notice anything? What if an attack occurred to him in front of them? The chances were pretty high. They were going to make a big deal of it.

And he knew Kai himself wouldn't ever live it down if they saw him in such a vulnerable state. He got so worked up even when it was him trying to take care of him.

And then came the bigger question, was Kai going to get better? He hadn't had a panic attack since the day he had come to Mr. Dickensons', and hadn't had a nightmare since his fever had broken.

But, his almost unbreakable habit of skipping meals wasn't going down at all. He had gotten much much skinnier than he had been a few months ago.

Wasn't it going to be difficult for him to get back in shape for beyblading?

He sighed and sat up, sitting cross legged on the bed.

Mr Dickenson had asked him about how things were going, and he had told him, but honestly, what were the chances that things were not going to get worse?

He was no doctor, he didn't know any way of correcting anything, he was just there, giving Kai company, and maybe that change of surroundings had done a little for him.

Mr. Dickenson was surely going to get into this matter after he was gone.

He sighed, these thoughts were making him really worried. He stood up and went to Kai's desk, raking his eyes over the numerous books stacked up to find something to avert his attention.

After going through most of the books, he sat back against the chair, he hadn't found even one book to interest him. All these were textbooks, none literature or a novel.

He glanced down at the drawers, before opening one. It held stationary, some diaries, scissors, tapes, sticky notes etc. The other one was locked.

He frowned.

What could be in there?

He looked over at the items on the table, a few books, some pen stands, a notepad.

He raised an eyebrow, looking back at the locked drawer.

He opened the other drawer again, searching through it. At the very back of the drawer, below a small box of paper pins, he found two keys.

He used the first, it didn't fit. The second one did.

He opened the drawer, it was filled with papers. He picked one up, finding it to be a letter, talking about some business or whatever.

Fully opening the drawer, he found a small wooden box, also locked, at the very end.

He used the key that hadn't fit the drawer lock, eyes widening as the lid threw itself backward, presenting a stack of envelopes lying in it.

He picked one up, it was dated to three months ago.

He opened the envelope, taking out the letter.

A gasp left him, it was from Voltaire. He looked back at the envelope just to confirm, finding the name there.

It read,

"Kai,

You must know that your previous ignorance towards my callings has not gone unnoticed. I require for you to come and meet me. There remain things unsettled and undecided.

I acknowledge that the happenings of the past have raised you against me, but remember, all the property, all the money, everything, where it has arrived from. I must remind you of the promise that you gave me when-

"What the fuck are you doing?" A deadly cold voice resounded in the otherwise silent room, making him jump, and for the letter to fall from his hands.

His eyes widened as he locked onto the figure standing at the door. Darkened crimson eyes glaring hatefully at him…

Oh no! Hope Kai's not too mad at Tal!!

Thanks for reading!