hmm...I don't know what I did. But somehow, He was mad with me. He never showed up last night. I had gone to check up on him and he didn't answer me. I frowned staring down at the plate in front of me. "Master...? are you going to eat?" Baker asked. "Sorry...I..." I had just lost my appetite. It was the first time I have ever had Nemo mad at me. It was the first time he had ignored me. So...this is how it felt. I fell tears starting to fall down my cheeks. "Master? What's wrong?" I sobbed in answer. Baker tried to calm me down, but I quickly fled from the mess hall.
Now that I thought about it. He has always been very supportive toward me; and all I have done in return is make problems. Maybe it was better to make more distance between us. Perhaps that was better...he didn't want to see me right now anyways. I asked a marine to let him know I would put distance toward us from now on. I must have hurt him pretty badly this time without knowing it. Maybe just being Master and Servant in just connect is how it should be. I had locked my door after I got back to my room. I felt depressed. Maybe because it been so long...sense he wasn't next to me trying to help me. When did I start count on him so much? I cling a pillow against me.
I count on him way too much...Because I shouldn't. Because one day he will disappear. He is a servant after all...His time here is limited. Sometimes I forget that. It will not last forever...I have to remember that. One day...he will leave me. I could feel tears running from my eyes again. when that happens, I will be alone again.
Nemo...
I heard a panic knock outside my room before long, "Master! Are you in here?" It was Nemo. I tried to ignore his voice. The marine must have told him. "Please...I'm not mad! Really, I'm not! Please open your door!" I took the pillow I had and rapped it over my ears. "Please! I-I don't want distance between us..." He sounded like he was begging now. "...Master." Feeling panic was putting this lightly. When Marine told me she wanted distance between us. I lost it. Why...would she even want that? Was...it because I ignored her...? Was it because she thought I was mad at her? She wouldn't answer me no matter how many times I called out to her. I found out she had been crying in the mess hall too. She had fled to her room after that. She couldn't even eat her lunch baker had made for her.
How could I not panic?
I begged her to open her door again. She had locked the door. I couldn't get it even if I tried. "Sara, please..." I begged again. I couldn't blame anyone but myself. If only I had been more honest with her this wouldn't had happened. More Honest. "Sara..." I have to be fully honest with her. With what I meant to say. "...What if..." I started to say. "What if I wanted to get married to you one day?" I plainly told her. I'm sure she was shocked listening to me. I could hear her moving around in there. "That's...what I meant to say yesterday..." I told her. "Why? Why would you even say that?" I heard her ask. "Why? your time here is so limited..." I understood the problem than. "You will disappear one day."
She was fearful...of how much time I have left. It was true...my time is limited. I am a servant after all.
"I will be alone again..."
"Master..." I couldn't say anything to calm her down. Because she was right. I will disappear one day.