"Would the two of you care to explain yourselves?" Aegon asked, his eyes promising many ill things. From their places behind them, the guards who had escorted Rhaella and Aerys away from the dragon eggs shifted.
"Not really," she wanted to reply. Aerys, almost as if he could sense what she was thinking, cast her a warning look and she ran her tongue along her teeth, wishing to poke it out at him. She couldn't say that, unfortunately. But damn did she want to.
"Trying to get two dragon eggs away," Aerys replied boldly.
"And why did you want to do that?" he asked.
"To prevent you from putting all the eggs in one basket," she couldn't help but reply. Aerys threw her a withering look at her brilliant pun. She wrinkled her nose at him and Aegon's frown deepened. They had no taste, the men in her family. No taste at all.
"What Rhaella is trying to say," Aerys said, and if she didn't know him better, she wouldn't be able to tell he was smiling through gritted teeth, proving that Stannis did indeed share their DNA, "is that withholding two dragon eggs in case anything goes wrong could serve as a good backup. As it is right now, if whatever it is that you plan to do goes wrong and you lose the eggs, that's it. The last dragon eggs of House Targaryen, gone. For good," he replied.
It truly was a horrifying prospect, she thought. Without even the eggs they became no better than the incessant self important rabble that liked to call themselves the "nobles" of Westeros, though in her opinion there was more nobility to be found in Jack the Ripper.
Aegon's eyes flitted between the two of them, lips pursed. Slowly, deliberately, he said, "Aerys, Rhaella, I want you to be very honest with me. How did either of you even hear of the dragon eggs?"
"We heard it from an alternate dimension where an obese serial procrastinator who likely has a taste for hentai gave you a horrible death because he can't deal with any family that has more than 5 members."
The fact that she couldn't say that to his face was eating away at her faster than what one of those Valyrian fire worms. She really wanted to say that to his face. Him and his guards foiling their plan had really pissed her off. Her fingers twitched, itching for something, anything. For a second, she almost wished she still had her wedding pins in her hair. She needed to stick a sharp piece of metal into something. Or a dull one. Come to think of it if it was dull it would hurt more.
"Well, the whole timing of the trip to Summerhall was a little suspicious. Especially how many people you took with you." Aerys had his bullshitting face on. Rhaella scoffed, and then coughed to cover it up. He threw her a slightly dirty look before continuing.
"Furthermore, the nobles have been opposing any and all future reforms. So either you gave up on them, which is unlikely, or you're trying to find a way to bypass the nobles. So when all of that is taken into account, some servants gossiping about dragon eggs doesn't sound that much like gossip anymore," he finished.
Rhaella went from exasperated to mildly impressed at Aerys's bullshitting skills. And fortunately for them, it seemed so was Aegon, though it seemed he wasn't aware of the bullshitting part. He nodded grudgingly.
"Impressive. Attention to detail is an important trait for a future king," he said. "So, you figured out what we are here for, I take it?"
A horribly botched attempt at awakening dragons that somehow has 0 human sacrifices, she thought. Seriously, how could he think that? It was in his house words, fire and blood, how much more obvious did he need it to be that blood magic was involved. Honestly, it was no wonder he'd died a failure in the Tragedy at Summerhall.
"Yes," Aerys replied without further comment.
"Very well. In that case, would you mind explaining how exactly you got in the room to steal those?"
Rhaella smiled. "We snuck in," she said simply, and did not elaborate.
Aegon stared at her for a long second, eyebrow twitching. Then he shook his head and laughed. "The Seven gave me rebellious children," he said, "and now my children's children are driving the stake in."
That sounds like a you problem, she thought. It was after all his fault for how he raised his children. Instead Aerys was the one to reply first after a long pause.
"We suspected the place has secret tunnels, courtesy of Bloodraven," he replied. "We were right," he replied smugly. She didn't feel that smug about it. All the crawling through the dirt had really annoyed her. Why couldn't the man build more convenient secret tunnels? Honestly, wasn't he supposed to be some sort of omnipotent god?
"So, you went through all this, frankly extensive amount of thought and effort to sneak in, to do what?" Aegon asked, though a smidge impressed. As he ought to be. She was fairly certain they at the very least deserved a commendation for crawling through the spider webs. Her eye twitched at the memory.
"As we've told you to keep a dragon backup for our house," she replied. Did he have a bad memory? Was the dementia kicking in? It would certainly explain a lot about his plan. Actually, it would explain his entire frankly naively deluded reign. Helping the smallfolk in a medieval society? What the fuck was that, anyway?
"And why did you think one was even necessary?" Aegon asked, his face bearing the look of long suffering. Long suffering from everyone else, or illness?
"Well first and foremost, if the company here is any guess, a lot of them would be useless or outright detrimental. Dragons are creatures of magic. Their death snuffed out the glass candles. They were likely created with magic, and we know that they were made allies with magic. And yet, there are entirely too many maesters here for them not to be involved."
"The maesters are the keepers of our knowledge," Aegon replied with a raised eyebrow.
"And also believe magic isn't real," she retorted. That was so infuriatingly stupid, she felt the need to strangle one with his own chain. In this world, how could one not believe in magic? There had been literal dragons flying around a century ago! Even worse, how would one even think to remove magic? It seemed to be one of the few cool things about the shitshow of a continent they were on, and the grey chucklefucks seemed hell bent on rooting it out. Meanwhile, the faith of the Seven were most likely determined to do the same. They were probably just jealous that their lame-ass gods didn't have any powers.
"That may be. But they still have knowledge that is useful," Aegon countered.
"Very well. In that case all I'll ask is, where are the sacrifices?" Where are the freshly cut still beating hearts? The rivers of blood? she wanted to add, but decided it might not help.
"Our house words are fire and blood. You cannot birth dragons without blood magic. Surely you know that," she said instead.
"Trust me, my granddaughter," he said with a patronizing tone, and if she had little interest in saving him before, she was even less keen on it now. "Wiser and more learned people have been consulted on the matter, and while blood magic is indeed needed, the magic is in our blood, the blood of Old Valyria."
Well, maybe if you sacrifice cousin Maegor, that could work, she thought, but she was pretty sure that wasn't what he meant. A pity; that would at least make Aerys happy and get him to stop having gaming induced hallucinations fueled by his paranoia, no matter how much he insisted they were perfectly logical.
"Well even so, the possibility of failure is there, is it not?" Aerys stepped in.
"Yes," Aegon grudgingly agreed. She wanted to stick her tongue at him at that. Way to go Aerys!
"Then why risk everything? If two dragon eggs survive, then we can try again. More than that, the dragon eggs are a symbol of legitimacy. We lost the dragons themselves. The Crown of Aegon I was lost in Dorne, Blackfyre was lost to the Golden Company, and Dark Sister with Bloodraven. The eggs, are the last true heirloom of House Targaryen," he finished.
"That is true," Aegon said with a nod.
"And finally, five eggs are more than enough," he said, and she quickly went from wanting to cheer for him to wanting to slap him. This shit again? Really? He wasn't wrong – though she would never admit that to his face, he'd be far too smug – but she was so sick of his obsession after having had to put up with it for so long.
"Is it really?" Aegon asked challengingly.
"Why yes," he said with a bold smile. "Me, Rhaella, you, and mother and father."
Rhaella withheld a groan as the king's expression darkened.
"And what of your Uncle Duncan?" he asked.
"That is a terrible idea. Why would you do that to the succession?"
Even as he blew up their prospects of pulling this plan off, she had to agree with him there. Honestly, the more she saw of Aegon, the more she became convinced he wasn't the sharpest knife in the Jon Snow.
"Are you implying your Uncle would try to claim the Throne for himself?"
"Not at all. Mayhaps not even his sons or daughters? With a dragon, power is at everyone's fingertips, is it not? A grandson, married into an ambitious family, hearing so long that his line comes from the firstborn son of Aegon V, that deserve to be above the spawn of Jaehaerys II. At the very least, Prince Duncan didn't marry his sister, right?" he said, emphasizing his words, before taking a pause.
Personally, Rhaella would be insulted if one of her descendants got taken out by one of Jenny's. She found the woman fun enough, she supposed, but she had no spine.
"And so, eventually this grandson would become convinced that maybe the Throne would indeed be his. And with a dragon at his beck and call, he'd have the power to enforce that!" he said, gesticulating dramatically. "Would he not, grandfather?"
"Mayhaps," Aegon said grudgingly. "And yet who can predict the future? There's no telling what may happen."
Good gods. He really did want a second Dance, didn't he? Not that Rhaella was necessarily against it as long as her side won, of course, and put on a great show doing it – a good civil war was always effective in putting a ruling family on edge – but still.
"No, there is not, but should you not take every precaution? Think of your legacy," he added. "Presuming the dragons do hatch, what do you want to be remembered as? The Good King, that made the smallfolk of the Seven Kingdoms actually be treated like human beings, and who restored House Targaryen to heights never before seen, or the second Viserys I, who in his mismanagement of his family set the stage for a second Dance?"
Once again, Rhaella was reminded of how Aerys was the best bullshitter to have ever bullshitted in Westeros. She was shocked the flies hadn't started sticking to him yet.
There was a long pause after that, no one daring to say anything.
"What exactly do you propose?" Aegon finally asked, breaking the silence.
"Just give us two dragon eggs. Call it a late wedding present? Or an investment into the security of House Targaryen. There's nothing to lose, and everything to be gained," he finished with a smile.
As Aegon nodded, Rhaella looked at Aerys, in large part pride and joy, but also squinting, wondering just how much snake oil he had sold back in their world. She was almost sad they hadn't gotten the chance to swindle people together. But oh well, this life was more interesting anyways.