A/N: I know, I know, it's been forever since the last update. This chapter is so hard to write for some reasons. Took me a while to figure out how Tamsin and Bo would meet again. Hopefully it won't take this long for me to write the next chapter.
Chapter 30 - Darkness
After having been in captivity for five days (or so as Tamsin could only estimate since she did not have access to a calendar or sunlight inside a windowless room), Tamsin's patience - however much or little she had to begin with, had been depleted.
She tried to escape. Of course, she tried. That was the first thing that had come to her mind after having realized that Ylva couldn't be reasoned with, nor would she let her go.
Her right hand was handcuffed to the bed she was in, so she attempted to open it. It was a task that she had thought would be easy. She had a free hand after all, and she had opened handcuffs countless times before, many of which were under dire situations such as inside a burning building, during a high speed chase and under water. She was so experienced that the handcuffs should just pop open themselves when she looked at them, shouldn't they?
She couldn't be more wrong, because the handcuff that Ylva put on her was completely different from any other handcuffs she had ever seen. Unlike the normal handcuffs which usually consisted of two bracelets and something in between to connect them, this one looked like a single bangle that confined her wrist to the bed pole, with no rivets, screws or keyholes.
She tried to summon Knut. She couldn't remember how many times her faithful Fylgja had come to her rescue before. He would often take unconventional approaches and weasel his way in through methods that might seem impossible at times. However, this time, Knut did not show - whatever anti Fylgja force field generating technology that Valhalla had, Fólkvangr's must be lightyears ahead.
Anger and frustration simmered, pushing her over the edge. She yelled, screamed and cussed. She pounded the wall with her fist. She kicked the bed rails. She struggled violently, making as much noise as she could.
No one responded, though. In fact, no one but Ylva had come to the room to see her, and the brunette only showed up a handful of times in total since Tamsin had been brought in.
Each time, she brought Tamsin a portion of food and two bottles of water, and Tamsin quickly figured out the price - after eating and drinking, she immediately fell asleep and woke up drowsy.
The second time Ylva brought her food and water, Tamsin hurled the food tray at the wall and made a huge mess. She threw the water, as well as many verbal insults, at Ylva. The brunette, with the front of her shirt wet and her shoes stained by sauce, looked defeated and left the room quietly.
Moments later, two spherical robots rolled in. One cleaned the room and the other one brought her another tray of food and water.
"You must not waste food. Butter is scarce," the cleaning robot lectured.
Tamsin rolled her eyes and threw a sauce cup at it. The robot lost its balance and fell, spinning on the floor helplessly. The other robot helped it stand up.
"You must not litter," the cleaning robot told her while picking up the sauce cup. The delivery robot took the cup and placed it right where it had been on the tray before leaving the room.
Tamsin decided to let the food and water sit. She forced herself not to fantasize how good it would feel to let the cold water run down her parched throat, or how satisfying it would be to dip a slice of crunchy, buttery toast into that bowl of hot, steamy potato soup...
The next day, Ylva returned with fresh food and more water. As she noticed that food from the previous day was untouched, she sighed.
"Please eat something. I don't want you to starve."
"Thank you. I prefer food without sleeping pills."
Ylva clenched her jaw. She replaced the old food with the new, and left.
Tamsin gulped at the tray: a bowl of beef stew with a pilaf of rice and some steamed greens on the side, three of her least favorite foods which right now appeared more appetizing than anything she had ever had.
As she laid her eyes on the bottled water, she licked her dry lips. Her thirst was clawing her throat.
She closed her eyes and lay down, covering her nose with her arm so the delicious smell of the stew wouldn't enter her nostril.
She thought she'd sleep, but she was too thirsty. How long can a person survive without water? Was it three days, or two?
She caved and drank just enough water to soothe her throat.
She dozed off afterwards. Right before the whole world blacked out, though, she vaguely heard the door open.
Through her hazy vision, she saw Ylva walking in with the ridiculous cartoon mask on. The brunette stood beside her bed and ran her hand along the side of her cheek.
Tamsin turned her face sideways, avoiding the touch.
Ylva stopped and straightened her body. She gazed down at Tamsin, the look in her eyes changing.
It was a look that Tamsin had never seen in Ylva, and it somehow made her shudder.
Tamsin struggled to stay awake. The image of Ylva went in and out of focus. And then, everything was reduced to darkness.
Tamsin was back in the field of angelica and rue, relaxing under the bright sunlight while breathing in the crisp air.
Ylva was there with her, smiling, whispering her name, just as she remembered.
Tamsin turned to her, and noticed that Ylva had the mask on. It wasn't Ylva's face, but the smiling cartoon character that she was gazing at.
Fear seized her, yet she couldn't tell what exactly frightened her. That cartoon face with a rigid, frozen smile slowly deformed, melting into the image of "mother", the monstrosity that Bo and her encountered while investigating a suburban community.
"Revna..." the monster's mouth writhed. Her voice was part Ylva, part...something else. That voice...it was sweet, deep, and enticing, but at the same time, it made every hair on Tamsin's body stand.
That monster extended its limp towards her. It wasn't a hand but a tentacle-like structure, with a small mouth at its end, where rows of sharp teeth opened viciously.
"No...no...don't..." Tamsin muttered, throwing her head left and right. She wanted to open her eyes but she just couldn't.
Through the nightmare, she heard Ylva's voice.
"Go away..." the brunette hissed weakly.
Someone else said something. That voice sounded cold and evil.
"Stay out of my business!" Ylva bit out firmly.
The other voice softened, whispering something back. Even with her mind so hazy, Tamsin could sense that Ylva was somehow convinced by that voice.
Their conversation carried on for a while. Tamsin managed to grab a few words here and there, but wasn't able to piece them together.
Am I still dreaming? Tamsin wondered, holding on to their voices. Waves of nightmare receded briefly, allowing her to pry her eyes open.
She caught a glimpse of Ylva, who stood in the bathroom facing away from her. The brunette had both of her hands gripping the side of the sink like she was about to fall.
She whispered something, and then another voice whispered back.
Who is that? Who's in there with her? Tamsin frowned hard. Even though she didn't recognize that voice, it was strangely familiar.
She thought she'd get up and take a look at that person, but the drug in her system knocked her out again. She fell into one nightmare after another, with darkness, bloodshed, deaths and a broken heart...
When she regained her consciousness, she met Ylva's eyes. The brunette was standing by her bedside, leaning over slightly. Beside her, on the nightstand, there was a tray with a plate of pasta with meatballs, a small dinner roll and two bottles of water.
Tamsin closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Ylva, you'll have to let me go."
Ylva gave her a rather awkward smile. "Just a little longer, okay?"
"Just a little longer? For what? You think you keep me here long enough I'll eventually surrender or something? What the hell do you want from me?"
"I want you to stay, here, with me."
"I've already told you. I am not staying."
"You'll have to do this for me, Revna."
"It's Tamsin!"
As that left her, painful, dead silence devoured both of them.
Ylva, shocked, took a step back, the look in her eyes sad and broken, her lips quivering. She attempted to say something, but couldn't get a single word out.
She eventually left the room in silence.
Tamsin was alone again, with the roaring anger that had no outlet and a frustrating guilt that ate her alive.
After debating internally, Bo decided that her next mission would be rescuing her mother. She had a feeling that her mother knew a lot of secrets about Fólkvangr's operation, her past and maybe even things about the Vargr.
However, in order to do that, she'd need help, and a plan. With her cover blown, it would only be a matter of time before that doctor alerted the entire Fólkvangr organization. She wouldn't want to stay in a universe she wasn't familiar with as a target.
She headed to the nearest teleportation location - a cave in the mountains.
Instead of getting a car or catching a ride, she hiked on less traveled roads and hid herself from other travelers. As she headed further into the mountains, she noticed that her heart was racing while cold sweat would break out from time to time.
Oh no, please do not be bonding heat. Please do not be bonding heat! She prayed as she touched the back of her neck, where her Einheri brain was. She was relieved that it wasn't burning.
Am I walking too fast or something? She wondered, gasping like she had just ran a marathon.
She could barely focus. Her hands were trembling. Her heart was about to burst out from her chest.
It was then that she noticed that Fenrir was beyond agitated. The wolf ran in small circles repeatedly, sniffing, yawning and growling.
Bo pressed her hand against her chest. She looked down at the back of her hand, then at Fenrir.
The wolf paced back and forth, visibly anxious. He barked as if danger lurked in the thin air. Every time a nervous bark left him, Bo's heart would thump.
She finally realized that she was having a panic attack because Fenrir was having one.
"What's wrong?" She cupped her wolf's face and examined him.
Fenrir started to dig. Then, he jumped and barked again with his ears stood and his teeth bared.
"Someone's coming for us or something? What is it?!"
Fenrir hopped a few times, before he stared far away for a few seconds. Then, he leaped and dashed towards the direction they had come from.
"Hey! Where are you going?" Bo yelled as she ran after Fenrir.
The wolf sprinted, so fast that Bo could barely keep up. He led her all the way to the other side of the mountain where a conspiracy of ravens gathered near a rustling creek.
In the center of the raven circle, there lay another raven. As Bo laid her eyes on that raven, her heart stopped.
It was Knut. The black bird had his eyes closed, his wings sprawling and a small white plaque between his beaks. He wasn't moving at all.
Petrified, Bo stood there. Fear knocked her numb, making her head buzz and her ears ring.
Fenrir circled her, grunting and pushing, urging her to go check on Knut.
Right. We are bonded. If she...if she's...Knut is totally not dead because I'm still breathing. He's fine. She's fine. They are both fine. She has to be. Bo ran towards the raven.
She gently slid her hands under his wings, folding them slightly before picking him up. A teary smile bloomed on her face as she felt his heartbeat underneath her palm.
She held him like a mother would hold a baby and rocked him softly. After a minute or two, the raven opened his eyes, only briefly, to give her a judgmental stare as if he was scrutinizing her for not showing up sooner.
He let out a mutter of croak, and passed out again, dropping whatever he was carrying between his beaks.
Bo took a shirt out of her backpack and lay it flat on the ground. She placed Knut on top of it and examined him. It pained her to see how many injuries she had found: his left wing wouldn't fold because one of the bones was broken; his stomach had deep cuts that still oozed blood; a patch of feather was missing on top of head; one of his legs was bitten by something and was swollen.
She attended his wounds as gently as she could. As she put some rubbing alcohol on his wounds, he woke up and complained softly. He tried to stand up but with one leg injured he wobbled hard and fell.
He hissed at his leg, then at Bo and Fenrir, throwing a huge fit.
"Hey, stop that." Bo held him and stroked him on his back.
Knut popped on his one good foot and picked up the small white card.
Bo frowned at the item: an access card of some kind, but with no names or photos besides an embossed wolf symbol. She shrugged and tossed into her bag, before she offered Knut some water.
The black bird happily chugged down at least an inch of water. Then, he tucked his head into Bo's backpack, croaking.
Bo sighed, shaking her head. She turned her backpack upside down searching for peanuts - carrying them with her had become habitual since Knut would constantly demand them. Sometimes the bird would even place peanuts in her pockets or shoes at night.
She found a handful and offered them to Knut. The black bird devoured them while complaining that she couldn't shell them fast enough.
Running her index finger along the top of his beak, Bo murmured, "if you are here, that means...she's here, right?"
The thought of Tamsin might have come to this universe to be with Ylva made Bo's heart sink.
But why would Knut be here in the wilderness, injured and agitated?
"Is she in some kind of trouble?"
Knut shrugged, and Bo interpreted that as "she's in some kind of trouble but it won't kill her".
"Where is she? You need to take me to her. "
Knut swallowed the last peanut. He scanned the surroundings and tried to take off. However, his wings wouldn't function properly.
He hissed angrily while frantically flapping his wings.
"Whoa! Stop! You are gonna hurt yourself even more!" Bo held him close to her chest. She wrapped him firmly with her arms so he wouldn't injure himself further.
Fenrir, worried, approached him and nudged him gently.
Knut turned to him. The two of them held their gaze for a second or two. Bo had no idea what they were doing but could swear that they were communicating with their minds.
Vague shapes and colors started to appear in her mind, too vague for her to comprehend.
Seeing that she was beyond puzzled, Knut's patience ran out. He yelled at the wolf, and the wolf barked back.
Knut jumped out of Bo's embrace. The next thing Bo knew was that both the wolf and the raven disappeared.
In front of her, a large shadow emerged: a winged wolf twice the size of Fenrir who was covered in gray fur and dark feathers.
Bo noticed that the monster wolf's eyes resembled both Fenrir's and Knut's. She also noticed that two of its eight wings looked droopy, just like Knut's injured wings.
The monster growled at her, which sounded something between a bark and a cacaw, urging her to mount.
"Oooookay..." Bo muttered as she obliged.
The thought of seeing Tamsin again so soon made her stomach clench.
She didn't know what she'd say. She didn't even know if she was ready. She wondered if Tamsin would want to see her right now.
She also wondered what kind of trouble Tamsin was in. Was she captured? Did she have a falling out with Ylva? Or did she piss off someone she shouldn't?
Well..I'm just gonna make sure that she's okay, then I'll just...let her be. Bo thought bitterly as the beast took off.
Tamsin jolted at the opening door. She clenched her teeth as she watched Ylva appear at the doorway.
A part of her found it strange that Ylva seemed nervous at first but relieved the moment their eyes met, while the rest of her screamed and yelled protesting Ylva's treatment of her.
She stopped after a few minutes, frowning at the amused look on Ylva's face.
The brunette leaned against the wall with her arms crossed in front of her chest and a small smile at the corner of her mouth - she was enjoying Tamsin's fuming anger somehow.
Tamsin gaped at her. It was then that she noticed the small inconsistencies: her eyes seemed too warm, her posture was more relaxed, her scent was different...
Tamsin's eyes shot wide open. With her heart racing, she swallowed. "Bo...?!"
The brunette grinned. She let her eyes linger on Tamsin's handcuff, before she said, "I didn't know you were into bondage."
Tamsin rolled her eyes. "Stop staring and get your ass over here to help."
"Before I do anything, I just want to make sure. You totally didn't want to be handcuffed, right?"
"Do I look like I want to be?!"
"Oh I don't know, Tamsin. Sometimes you say one thing but act the very opposite."
"Keep smart mouthing and you are gonna get your ass kicked."
Bo chuckled as she checked on the handcuff. "Somehow I distinctly remember that someone bragged to me that she was able to open a handcuff underwater once."
"I did escape while being handcuffed underwater before! This handcuff is impossible!" Tamsin growled in frustration.
Bo took her dagger out, ready to pry, but couldn't find anywhere to wedge her blade in. She examined the handcuff and eventually found a seam. As she jammed the tip of her dagger in, it slipped and she almost cut herself.
She cursed, scanning the room, looking for something she might use as a wedge.
"There's nothing here that I can use!" She complained, after going through every item in the room.
"Well, find something!" Tamsin urged.
As she watched Bo rampaging through the room, she found herself relieved and somewhat...excited. This wasn't at all how she had imagined their reunion would be, but strangely she found herself at peace.
"If you have time to be bossy, maybe you can come up with a solution," Bo drawled as she tried to take the clock off the wall.
"What are you gonna use the clock for? Where is your damn lockpick kit that I gave you?"
"I would have used the lockpick had there been a lock to pick, Tamsin. I mean, I've only been here for like five minutes. You've been here for days now. Have you found the keyhole yet?"
"This thing doesn't have one!"
Bo took the clock apart, by brutal force. Among the pile of gears and parts, she selected a few that she thought might work as a wedge or leverage. Unfortunately, none of them would work.
"Damn this thing is...how did they put it on anyway?!"
"I wouldn't know. I wasn't awake."
"What do you mean you weren't awake?" Bo frowned.
"Isn't that obvious? Ylva knocked me out and dragged me here. She handcuffed me to this fucking bed and wouldn't let me go!"
Bo barely managed to contain her chuckle. "I thought you'd never lose a fight, or so as you told me multiple times."
"I wasn't given a chance, chuckles," Tamsin bit out. "Now figure out a way to get me outta this damn thing!"
Bo tried again, this time by grabbing it with both hands and pulling.
"Right, like you can just pull it apart."
Bo clenched her jaws and pulled harder. As she was doing that, the badge she had obtained while posing as Ylva accidentally swiped against the handcuff.
With a weak beep, the handcuff broke into two parts and fell. The parts where the two halves would connect looked so smooth that Bo had a hard time believing they could be put together like that.
"How did you-where the hell did you get that?!"
"At the frontdesk of their headquarters," Bo replied as she examined Tamsin's wrist. She was relieved that it was only mildly swollen.
"What?" Tamsin's frown deepened. Then, she finally paid attention to the fake scar on the side of Bo's neck, and the raven pendant she was wearing - things she had seen the moment Bo had walked in, but was too distracted to give a second thought.
"Are you...are you fucking impersonating Ylva?! Why?!" She growled.
"Because it's a damn good disguise! In order to come here and gather information, I needed to become her."
"Come here and gather-who put those words in your mouth?"
"Does that matter?"
"Yes, it fucking does! Please tell me you are not working for Valhalla."
"Well, technically I am not working for them. I'm just...freelancing."
Tamsin shot her a cold stare and grabbed her arm. "Are you insane? Don't you remember that they tried to put you in a coma?"
"Yes, I remember, Tamsin. They tried to put me in a coma, and they almost killed you. I will never forgive them for that, but I can't have them hunting our asses down forever. I told them I'd freelance for them, if they would stop treating us like fugitives."
Tamsin closed her eyes and sighed. "Whatever. We'll discuss this later. Let's just get outta here."
"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" Bo asked, mostly teasing, but a small part of her really wanted to know.
"Yes, I want to stay here, Bo. I want to stay here so badly that she had to handcuff me to a bed!"
"Why did she do that anyway? I thought you guys were...like, you know, close...or something," Bo murmured.
"Long fucking story," Tamsin grunted.
"Ugh huh," Bo examined Tamsin briefly, noticing her cracked lips, slightly sunken eyes and dark circles under them.
She frowned at the half empty water bottle on the nightstand, and at least three full, unopened ones. "Why aren't you drinking enough water?"
"It's drugged."
"What? Why? I mean...She did this? Why is she treating you like this?"
"I don't know!" Tamsin combed her hair in great frustration. "She's...she's acting all weird and she's fucking...fuck, I don't know, Bo. Let's just get outta here."
"That bad, huh," Bo murmured as she handed Tamsin her own water bottle.
"How the hell did you find me anyway?" Tamsin asked breathlessly between gulps.
"Knut found me. They...I mean, him and Fenrir, they kind of shapeshifted to this winged wolf thing and brought me here. I had to come alone though. I think there's a...some sort of invisible barrier that stopped them from getting close to this building..." Bo took out her last two candy bars. "Kitkat or Snickers?"
"Yes." Tamsin grabbed both and inhaled them.
Bo was about to make a joke, but the opening door interrupted her.
Bo flinched as she saw a masked Ylva walking in. She captured the look in Ylva's eyes - thick animosity.
Bo had seen that exact same animosity before, but she couldn't remember when or where.
Ylva, who seemed to be shocked by Bo's presence, paused there and gaped at her.
Tamsin took a step forward, standing between her and Bo. "Look, Ylva, I'm really happy to see you alive."
She waited until Ylva turned to her, and continued, "I'm sorry for...for whatever shit you think I have or haven't done. I mean it when I said I'd help you figure out who placed the stones at the wrong location under the tree that day, but this-"
She waved her hand at the small room, the handcuff on the floor and the bottled water over the nightstand. "This is fucking insane!"
"I...I just want you to stay," Ylva muttered in panic. She reached out but wasn't brave enough to hold Tamsin's hand.
"I've already told you that I can't stay," Tamsin told her firmly as she took a deep breath and stepped back to Bo's side.
Ylva shook her head. "No...this isn't right..." she groaned, as if she was in grave agony. She held her head with both of her hands and shook it hard.
"Are you okay?" Tamsin frowned hard and reached out.
The moment her fingers touched Ylva's arm, the brunette threw her head up and shot her a stab of vicious glare. "You are supposed to be mine!" She growled.
"Hey, back off. You don't own her!" Bo hissed.
"Bo, I got this," Tamsin gave her a nod, before she turned to Ylva again. "We are leaving, Ylva. If you need my help, you know where to find me."
"No!" Ylva yelled, grabbing Tamsin's arm, so tightly that her fingernails drew blood.
Tamsin pulled her arm out in reflex and shoved her away.
Ylva stumbled and fell. It was as if that push had taken everything out of her. She collapsed beside the nightstand, mumbling and groaning, her eyes suddenly out of focus.
Fearing that she might have pushed too hard and injured her, Tamsin went to check on her, but when she met Ylva's eyes, she took a step back.
There was nothing but hatred in those eyes, hatred that Tamsin had never seen before in Ylva. It was as if Ylva loathed not just her as a person, but the very existence of her.
"Tamsin, c'mon, let's go," Bo dragged the Valkyrie out of the room.
As Tamsin took a last glance at Ylva, who stared back at her like she'd skin her alive, that strange thought once again came back to her.
Who exactly was under that mask? Was it really Ylva?
It took almost half an hour after Tamsin and Bo had escaped for Ylva's pounding headache to settle.
Consumed and heart broken, she scrambled to pull herself up from the floor, knocking her own mask off.
With an empty stare at the doorway, she wrapped her fingers around her raven pendant as she allowed her old memories once again to flood her mind bringing her smiles and tears.
Revna was alive. She was back with her but was gone. The thought that she might have lost her Revna for the second time reduced her to muffled sobs.
I'll find her again and bring her back. She told herself as she wiped her own tears off. Yes I will.
She tried to calm herself down by picking up the mess in the room - the utensils, the handcuff, the broken clock. As she caught a glimpse of her own reflection off the mirror-like surface of the back of the clock interior, her eyes shot wide open.
She stumbled, shaking, as if her own reflection was the most frightening image ever.
"Go away..." she muttered, curling up in the corner of the room, wrapping her arms around her head and burying her head between her knees.
With her eyes squinted shut and her hand clinging to her pendant, she bit out, "you are not real."
"I am real. It is you who isn't real." Her reflection replied.
"No, no, I am real. I am here and I am alive. I am...I am Ylva. Seer Signe told me so."
Her reflection grinned. That mouth curved into an impossible angle, revealing all the teeth.
"But Seer Signe is dead. You remember that, don't you?" Her reflection whispered.
Ylva shuddered. Broken images stabbed her mind: Signe's wide open, reddened eyes, a bloodied blade in a blood soaked hand, flickering lights, a fallen metal shelf with boxes...
"NO!" Ylva screamed. Her tears poured out.
She screamed, hitting her head with her own fists. She was so confused by everything that she had witnessed and remembered, that she laughed, giggled and cried at the same time.
A group of people rushed into the room: her loyal lieutenants, medical professionals and servant robots.
"She's having another episode!" One of them announced in panic after examining her briefly.
"We need the doctor. Where is he? Is he not here? We need him right now!" Another yelled.
"We don't have time. We have to sedate her. NOW!"
Stop! Stop! Stop! Ylva screamed on top of her lungs. There was too much noise and too many colors for her to comprehend.
She was forced to lie down, strapped to a bed and then put to sleep.
She was trapped in the dark void again, alone, terrified and defeated.
Signe was not there, for she was gone forever.
Her wolves weren't there, for they were gone forever as well.
Revna wasn't there either. She wasn't gone but she wasn't with her anymore.
Ylva gasped rapidly as she held on to the only comfort she had - her pendant.
But, she wasn't alone. Someone else was there with her.
No. No. Go away. She begged silently.
"Ylva, where are you?" A voice called.
Ylva covered her ears and shut her eyes. She imagined the dark void to be a maze, a fortress, or a stronghold, in which she could hide and be protected.
Reducing herself into a fetal position, she held her breath and wrapped her fingers tightly around her raven pendant, hiding its dim light from the intruder.
"Don't you hide from me. You can't exist without me," that voice drilled into her head like an electrified spike.
She's not real. She's not real. Ylva repeated to herself.
"Oh but I am real. Mama Signe loved me just as much as she loved you."
Ylva clenched her teeth and held herself tighter. Go away. Leave me alone.
"I won't leave you." that voice hissed. "I am all you have."
Ylva curled up more, practically making herself into a ball. She forced herself to think about all the nice, warm things that had happened to her: Revna's smile, the wet nose of her wolves, the smell of the forest after rain, a crackling fire, a bowl of hot stew, Signe's lullaby...
Signe's lullaby, it had always comforted her, no matter how worn out, scared or defeated she had been.
She sang the song in her heart. It was a song about silk, fur, soft pillows and impending doom.
It was as if Signe's warm hand was once again stroking her hair.
It was as if she was once again in Signe's warm embrace.
Ylva let out a small smile as she succumbed to the darkness.