I'm a few chapters ahead in writing so I thought I'd post another before I return to work tomorrow and have little to no time to write and update.
I took a large gulp of water and steadied my breathing, sweat dripping from me. Adam and I had been at in the ring for hours, he'd really been pushing me to my limits as we tried several new moves and worked on my fitness in general. I wiped my brow with a towel and stood back up ready to go again.
"Not bad" he smirked at my resistance.
"I'm not letting the massively hungover guy out do me" I joked lunging at him, we locked up and again began to grapple with each other.
"You underestimate how much I can drink" he chuckled putting me in a headlock and getting down on one knee.
"This coming from the guy who I found passed out outside my door last night" I retorted countering the headlock and drop kicking him to the matt.
"You're getting better at this" Adam smiled jumping up, without responding I clotheslined him climbed to the top rope and leap frogged across the ring landing across Adam.
"1…2…3" I counted before rolling off and laying next to Adam on the matt, we lay in complete silence both catching our breath. He reached out playfully placing a hand over my face, I stuck my tongue out licking his hand causing him to recoil quickly.
"Ew…" He laughed sitting up wiping my saliva off his hand on to his gym leggings.
"Want to talk about last night?" I asked throwing him a bottle of water and sitting opposite him in the middle of the ring.
"What's to talk about?" he asked taking a big drink.
"Adam, I found you unconscious outside my room and Stu had to help me get you in" I told him "What possessed you to get yourself in to that state?" I asked him, he looked down in to his now half empty bottle of water.
"Like I said, seeing Beth was a lot harder than I anticipated" he shrugged rolling out the ring and making his way to the changing rooms, I jumped up and chased after him.
"Adam talk to me" I sighed standing in front of him to stop him walking away "I want to know you're ok"
"I'm fine" he told me bending down to kiss my cheek before walking round me to the changing rooms.
I leant against the passenger side of the car scrolling social media on my phone waiting for Adam to appear. It wasn't like him to take this long getting changed after the gym, after 20 minutes of waiting I walked back into the gym and towards the men's changing rooms. I burst through the door, thankfully it was completely empty apart from Adam sat on a bench in the corner, his feet also rested on the bench as he stared straight ahead absentmindedly not even noticing me walk in.
"ADAM" I shouted from across the room, he jumped a look of horror on his face as he realised I was currently stood in the middle of the men's changing rooms. "You're not even changed" I sighed gesturing to his attire.
"Jay what the hell" he said bursting in to fits of laughter "What are you doing?" he asked through laughter.
"Me?" I said in disbelief "I've been stood by the car for god knows how long and you're sat in here staring into space" I scolded picking his bag up "Get dressed, we're going for lunch and you're telling me what's going on" I told him throwing his bag into his lap and walking back out of the room and towards the car.
We sat eating our lunch in a small diner out of the way of anyone who would see or hear us not wanting to be disturbed. I looked down at my chicken salad and grimaced, I knew Adam was right when he said we had to eat better as well as train, but I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to eating this rabbit food.
"Want to talk yet?" I asked looking up from my food, Adam cleared his throat and set his cutlery down.
"Do I have a choice?" he smirked raising an eyebrow at me.
"Not really" I replied with a laugh.
"Ok…" he took in a deep breath "It's got nothing to do with Beth" he sighed "In all seriousness I think I knew the relationship was over for a while" he admitted looking down at the table.
"Before you proposed?" I asked dipping my head to get him to look at me.
"Yeah" he admitted still looking down at the table completely avoiding my gaze. "I feel like an ass" he spoke quietly, I reached out and grabbed his hand in comfort.
"You're not" I told him squeezing his hand in reassurance.
"I proposed to someone I knew I couldn't spend the rest of my life with" he said "that's pretty big arsehole behaviour" he said.
"Why did you do it then?" I asked still holding on to his hand.
"I thought if I proposed that what we used to have would come back eventually but all we did was argue" he explained "I think maybe she had a point" he muttered.
"What do you mean?" I probed trying to get to the bottom of his behaviour over the last 12 hours.
"It doesn't matter" he shook his head.
"Adam, I deserve some answers" I told him taking a deep breath to muster up the nerve to bring up the things he had said or tried to say the night before "You said you had to walk out yesterday when I tried on my gear because I drive you crazy" I told him.
"I don't remember telling you that" he chuckled sitting back in his seat without letting go of my hand "But yeah that's why I left" he admitted, he stopped for a moment seeming to think over his next sentence "I've told you before that you drive me crazy, why are you surprised?"
"Why did you leave because of it?" I challenged.
"Look Jay" he leant forward so I could hear every word he had to say "It's not easy to see someone you're crazy about look that good and know you can't do all of the things you want to do to them" I pulled my hand away from Adam and sat back in my chair creating some space between us.
"Why are you saying all of this?" I asked.
"First of all, you need to stop biting that lip" he laughed I let go of my bottom lip, I hadn't realised I had been biting it until he drew attention to it, something I only seemed to do with Adam "Secondly…" he gestured for me to get closer to him, I did as I was told leaning in, our faces just inches apart "you asked the question"
"Adam, you think this is some kind of joke" I laughed standing up to leave.
"No" he stood up with me his expression serious "I don't think this is a joke Jay" he gestured for me to sit back down.
"I need to know" I spoke sitting back down "Why is it every time I think I understand your behaviour you do or say something that throws a spanner in the works?"
"I'm sorry I'm confusing you" Adam apologised plastering a smile on his face "I forget myself sometimes and I promise I'll try and stop" he said.
"Are you ok?" I asked registering the sad look in his eyes.
"I'm going to be just fine" he responded leaning over grabbing the back of my neck and planting a kiss on top of my head "Come on let's get back to the hotel, we need to pack to catch our flight tonight" I sighed as we paid and left the diner, I still wasn't fully convinced that Adam was being 100% truthful with me but I was comforted feeling I was a little closer to knowing what was going on in his head.
I folded my clothes neatly packing them in to my suitcase, I had said my goodbyes to Adam and left him to go and pack his own suitcase. A low knocking at the door pulled me away from my packing, as I opened it, I found Stu stood in the doorway.
"Hey" I grinned stepping to the side to let him in.
"We need to talk" he sighed walking straight past me and into the room.
"Umm…Ok" I said, surprise evident in my voice as I closed the door.
"What was last night about?" he asked turning to face me.
"He was drunk, and he passed out" I shrugged it off resuming my packing trying to play it down.
"Jay come on" he huffed throwing his hands up in exasperation "I can't keep pretending like this is normal, I've thought about this all-day Jay, and I'm just not convinced he doesn't have feelings for you"
"Then leave" I shrugged opening to door, a look of shock came across his face as I looked at him "I'm not prepared to lose him" I stated "I like you Stu and whatever this is" I gestured between us "I'm enjoying it…but if you don't think you can let me be friends with Adam then this won't work" We stared at each other long and hard neither backing down, silently he walked to me and grabbed my face in his hands.
"I've never been a jealous person" he whispered "but something about you makes me act in ways I never thought I would" he said looking deep into my eyes slowly he lowered his head to mine placing a feather light kiss on my lips "I'll give you some time" he whispered exiting the room. I took a deep breath and shut the door behind him, what the hell was I doing?
I pulled the slinky black dress up over my hips and tried to zip it up at the side, I struggled to get a grip huffing as I fought with the zip, it was new years eve, we had been in Atlanta, Georgia for a few days getting ready for the Day 1 PPV, I hadn't seen Stu since he had walked out of my hotel room back in Florida, we had texted back and forth but something was different, he had basically given me a choice and I hadn't chosen him, that must have hurt but it's not like I had said I didn't want to continue pursuing things with him I had just told him I wasn't willing to change my friendship with Adam for a relationship. I had spent the last couple of days going between training with Adam and training with Paige, she was the only diva still talking to me since Beth and Adam had split up, Beth was well respected in the locker room and upsetting her was not a good idea if you wanted to make friends. Paige asked no questions about the situation, something I was incredibly thankful for. I stood looking in the mirror still trying to zip up the side of the dress Paige had helped me pick out for this New Year's Eve house party that everyone was going to, she had even leant me a pair of black heels to match. I knew Stu would be there and I wanted to speak to him, I figured it would only help my cause if I put in a little extra effort. A knocking at the door distracted me from my frustration I was feeling at this tiny little zip.
"Hello?" I shouted through the door not wanting someone to catch an eyeful as I opened the door with my dress undone.
"Jay?" I heard Adam call back, I breathed a sigh of relief and opened the door "Jay, are you…" he began as he registered my half-dressed state, he gulped looking me up and down "You look…wow" he stammered.
"Help?" I sighed in defeat trying not to laugh stepping aside to let him in, a smirk spread across his lips as he ran his hands over his face and through his blonde hair. I shut the door and walked back to the mirror, Adam followed me stopping behind me and grabbing the zip in between his fingers, he slowly pulled the zip up the side of the dress allowing his fingers to trail my bare skin as he did. His touch sent shivers down my spine. A million memories that I had done my best to block out came flooding back, memories of me and Adam in bed our lips moving effortlessly together as our hands ran over each other's bodies. I drew in a sharp breath at the memory of him stood behind me his hands moving over my body as he kissed my neck, I had blocked out how good it felt but one slight touch from him and I was back there again. He took a hold of my long brown hair that I had curled and took it to one side, revealing my neck. He let out a low growl from his throat as he set his eyes on my now bare neck. I heard him take a sharp intake of breath before suddenly snapping out of the trance he was in placing his hands on my shoulders.
"We should get going" He smiled giving both my shoulders a quick squeeze.