Au: so..wrote this is 2024. forgot about it. •_• rating is uh changing. not quite yet but im going to premptivly change it because in the next few chapters language- hinted scenes/actions are going to be more adult. characters are now somewhere between 17-18.
probs plenty of spelling/grammer mistakes(i write in my phones notes app)
...
Day 804
After the run in whith Adonis, beastboy's panic attack's had become more frequent. At first he wasnt sure why they kept happening, things that should've brought him comfort now sent him spiraling. It wasn't until he was mid battle with Doctor Light again that he started to connect the dots. It was always the thought of her that brought on the attacks. There was something wrong with him, something twisting at his insides, desperate to rise to the surface. Demanding control.
Forcing complete submissiveness willing or otherwise. Suddenly his feelings for his brooding teammate seemed unlucky. If he could hardly stand to be near her without wanting to scent her normally how would these new feelings be? This new carnal language taking over his thoughts?
The thought scared him more than the attacks did.
Day 810
The thoughts were becoming more and more possessive. And the change is what terrified him the most. The others had an idea of what was going on but really only Vic and Robin knew just how bad things really were.
Cy said he was trying to find a way to suppress it- the beast- as they had taken to calling it; but Beastboy feared it wouldn't be soon enough. And as a result he decided to start distancing himself to be on the safe side.
Day 860
The change in their friendship had been startling to say the least. Raven had been so sure that they had slowly but surely started growing close and yet with the past month the amount of distancehas become nearly tangible.
Their mornings; spent drinking tea and watching the sun rise had all but disappeared, an empty table greeting her each morning, the occasional empty mug in the sink still there showing that it's space had at one point been inhabited.
The chess board in the common room was beginning to collect dust, and the notes had all but stopped. But the place she felt the most change in was the battle field, they no longer fought side by side, when catching criminals he was now the farthest from her, his eyes never in her direction. She hadn't realized how fond of him she had truly become until it was all gone.
She found that she wished he'd make the attempt to get her to laugh, like he used to, with silly pranks and jokes.
She missed his asinine ways.
Day 932
Resignation.
She no longer felt the need to close the gap he had made. Felt no inclination to know why, she had plenty of reasons she felt could be the cause so no need to go search for the answer. Whatever social habits she had started to form quickly withered. Instead she threw herself into training harder and felt less inclined to spend her time in public areas of the tower. Instead she purchased a electric kettle and took her morning teas in her room, she made appearances when needed and aside from hero work never sought out any company.
"Friend Raven, do you think mustard would taste well with pudding?" Except for Starfire that is.
The Tameranian having easily become her closest confident over the two and a half years she'd been apart of the team.
Still, that empty feeling, like something was missing always lingered.
"I suppose you'll have to find out."
Yes things were fine.
Just fine.
Day 1015
Staying away, felt like a starving mam watching someone eat through the window. It was tasteless and left one feeling more ravenous then before.
He felt nigh obsessive, he wanted to drown in her. Revel in her taste, fill his lungs with her scent, he wanted to grovel at her feet and pay worship to her in anyway she'd deem fit.
God, to taste her on his tongue.
The thought alone had his eyes rolling back into his skull. If he was a man of God he would've prayed to the lord above to give him the strength he needed to stay the fuck away from her. But he wasn't. And he couldn't. Nor did he really want to, which is why he found himself in this same position night after night. With a stolen item of clothing pressed tightly to his face as he writhed around in his sheets at the mear smell of her lingering in the fabric gripped tight in his hand.
He had long over stepped what passed as acceptable, he knew it was wrong. But fuck did it feel good, his mouth salivating as he opened his lips to lave at the fabric. He wanted her in the worst way.
Back arching up off the bed,a whine building at the back of his throat as he gripped himself tighter.
Fuck.
Day 1142
Raven lingered near the entry way to common room; body concealed beneath her heavy cloak, as she peered at her group of team mates crowded around each other on the large couch. Excitedly passing exchanges back and forth ideas as for what to watch for team movie night.
She watched as Beastboy bumped his shoulder into Starfire's as he pointed out a film on the screen. How could he be so close to the rest of them yet avoid her like the plague? They barely spoke anymore and the times she's tried to step into his space he's dodged her like she was infected.
Some would say she was type to take the high ground. Turn the other cheek, give him the space he so clearly wanted. She'd turn the other cheek alright-the other asscheek, fuck him and his weird ass avoidance.
Tonight she was feeling especially petty. It was one thing for her to pull these types of stunts, but for him? After years of him shoving his way into her space? Nah. Stay toxic.
Slipping out of the common room unnoticed she made her way to his room. If he wanted to ignore her so bad she was gonna give him a reason as to why that was a bad idea. Because ultimately she liked the way he looked at her, the way his gaze practically burned a path along her skin. She liked the way his ears perked in her direction if she so much as breathed near his vicinity. She loved the way he made her fall for him without her ever noticing; till it was too late and she was in too deep. The way he made every single platonic interaction feel charged, like they were one step away from doing something practically taboo.
Maybe she wanted to invade his space, push his buttons, make him notice her the way he had made her.
So when she had slipped into his room, her eyes immediately zoomed in onto his bed. Her chest felt tight and her hands and knees practically thrummed with energy. Something she hadn't thought she could feel so strongly. Excitement. His unmade bed had never looked so enticing, her hands made steady work on unhooking her cloak, letting the fabric slip to the floor.
The feeling of his sheets on her bare skin felt near sinful, and with what she was about to do it might as well been. Only one thought repeated through her mind.
Will he know what I've done?
AU: yuh so I'm not dead, just on the inside. See ya'll in anywhere from a week to next year