As James approaches the beach, he is stopped at the entrance by the beach's sole lifeguard, Sunscreen Sulley.
"Sir, I can't let you go to the beach without proper protection from the harsh ultraviolet rays of the sun." Sulley declares, holding out her hand to block James from going any further. James holds up his phone for Sulley to see and turns on night shift, and Sulley apologizes for the misunderstanding, before returning to her lifeguard post, which is elevated two feet off the ground. James turns off his headlight and drives down to the sea turtle nesting grounds, where he is confronted by the Sea Turtle Oligarchy, the council in charge of making decisions regarding the sea turtle population.
"What business do you have here? We're making important decisions right now." says a member of the Oligarchy, turning to look at James.
"Has the lack of a moon affected how your hatchlings guide themselves out to sea?" James asks.
"Yes. We're currently gathering funds and resources to create a new one. We're gaining support rather quickly."
"I knew it! That smelly dancing man was wrong! I'll do whatever it takes to support you through these tough times, Turtle Oligarchy." James declares, forming his t-shaped brow into an f shape to show respect. Meanwhile, Joshua F. Kennedy sheds a single tear at the loss of the moon, and for all the money that it took to fake landing on it. Somebody catches this tear in a petri dish and puts it up on gbay. Cledit Card attempts to make a bid on the item, since it will inevitably skyrocket in price, but due to a typo in the search bar, Cledit has to shut down the entire operation. Sunscreen Sulley puts up a bid of 200 sand dollars, and moments later, Sandcastle Sandy one-ups her bid by putting up his own bid of 201 sand dollars. Sulley can't afford to bid any more, so she instead leaves an angry comment on the gbay page claiming that she deserves the tear more than Sandy because of how much she looks out for the environment. Tristander is currently taking a vacation day, which translates to being allowed to walk around town while Warden Woo keeps him handcuffed and follows him for the duration of the excursion. Tristander eats six pieces of roadkill and other dead creatures during his walk around town, which Warden Woo doesn't say anything about, not because he has nothing to say about it but because he just doesn't talk in general. Sulley notices her comment get downvoted, which infuriates her even further, so she decides to do what she always does when she encounters petty inconveniences such as this. Sulley brings out her Stand, O-Zone, and uses the pipes on its body to begin sucking the entire ozone layer out of the sky. James can sense that the ozone layer is in danger and that Sulley is responsible, even though he can't see her Stand, and he changes his brow into a v shape to indicate his anger. "You'll never take the ozone layer!" James growls, before tackling Sulley to the ground, causing the ozone layer to snap back into its position as Sulley's Stand is jolted back into her. The ozone layer makes a satisfying weird noise when it fits itself back in place. Sandcastle Sandy receives the tear, and immediately decorates his sandcastle with it, only to find that the magical properties of the tear cause Sandy's own sandcastle to turn against him.
"Oh no you don't!" shouts Sandy, before using his Stand, Beach Boys, to fling the tear away from the sandcastle. Sulley sees this and rolls away from James before catching the tear in a special container disguised as a bottle of sunscreen, since everybody on the beach knows better than to ever mess with Sulley's sunscreen supply. Meanwhile, Tristander stumbles upon the aftermath of the fight between ST3V3 and the Alpha Gamer Fly, which is just the Gamer Fly buzzing around aimlessly with various missing textures surrounding it. Without hesitation, Tristander takes a huge bite out of the memory-less Gamer Fly, which gets a scowl from Warden Woo but not much else.
Paul tries to figure out what exactly he's expected to do in this bathroom, and he notices that Cledit has begun to sob uncontrollably in front of the pull door leading out of the bathroom due to missing out on getting that tear. Paul looks around for any interactable objects in the bathroom, hoping to find items that he can use to improve his friendship rating with Cledit enough that he can comfort him. According to the official wiki strategy guide, Cledit gains the most friendship points from ingots of pure tellurium, but Paul isn't sure if he'll be able to find any of those. Paul finds the only interactable objects to be the bathroom appliances, the door, which is currently blocked, and Cledit's chromebook. Paul turns on a sink to create steam, which fogs up the mirror, revealing an arrow pointing to a handle on the mirror, which is actually a medicine cabinet that is only now able to be interacted with despite being unlocked. Paul interacts with the cabinet to switch it into its open state, and finds that inside is a background image of detailed stock medicine bottles, which are clearly not intended to be interacted with. Paul also sees several lower quality items in the foreground, which include a pair of tweezers, a bottle of isopropyl alcohol, and three unlabeled pharmaceutical containers, all of which are picked up by Paul, who proceeds to add them to his inventory squares. Paul uses the investigate function to examine the unlabeled containers, revealing them to be ibuprofen, antacid tablets, and fragments of philosopher's stone. Some Guy spawns into the room through unknown means while Paul tries and fails to interact with a slightly out of line floor tile that none of his items seem to help with. Cledit suggests that Paul check the strategy guide again, and Paul loads up a previous revision of a page, since the wiki has long since been abandoned by any moderators, and page defilers actively run rampant on it. Paul finds that he got bad luck with the contents of the medicine cabinet, and has to either restart or trade with another copy of the game. Before Paul can do anything further, though, Some Guy's presence induces a random encounter, and a toilet goblin appears in the room. Cledit makes a queasy facial expression, and the goblin lets out a guttural gurgle. Paul uses the tweezers on the goblin, plucking all of its nose hairs and doing minor damage. A wheel spins to add bonus damage, but unfortunately for Paul, it lands on the bad luck space, causing the tweezers to be broken permanently. The goblin throws dirty toilet water at Paul, which has no immediate effect. Paul uses his turn to delete the broken tweezers from his inventory to clear out space, and the goblin lets out a scream, causing Cledit to lose his next turn. Cledit advises Paul to wait until his next turn so that he can assist in a combo attack against the goblin, which has just taken random damage due to the negative environment, which also causes the goblin to throw up on the floor. Paul uses his turn to dispose of the vomit without actually touching it, which prevents it from being able to form into another toilet goblin. Cledit prompts a team attack with Paul, and Paul activates his end of the prompt so that the attack can go through. The goblin brings up its arms to block the attack and lessen the impact, and Cledit downs Paul's entire bottle of antacid tablets, which makes him well enough to be able to perform Chopper Bros. Chopper Bros is able to hit 8 consecutive times before Cledit fails his input, for which he apologizes profusely. Paul accepts the apology, which increases his friendship level with Cledit, but only by a miniscule amount. The damage from the team attack is enough to kill the goblin, which drops three ingots of tellurium as well as a small vial of goblin puke. Paul bestows the ingots unto Cledit, which is enough to make Cledit move out of the way of the door. The fact that Paul was able to get these ingots shows how the paid aspect of the JRPG content induced by Some Guy's presence gives an unfair advantage against free to play users, which prompts the angry ghosts of three former free to play players to try to block the door, though this is ineffective since free to play users are barred from interacting with other users' sessions. When the door is opened, an icon appears indicating that ignoring these ghosts will be important later, and Paul steps outside with Cledit in his party, causing a cutscene to activate emphasizing the grand open world which he's entered, though it is in fact a glorified level select screen. A fellow player whose name tag reads "Pbone67" seems to be complaining about the fact that somebody called the level select screen a world map.
"Hey, what's the recommended next level?" Paul asks, since the wiki doesn't cover content released in the most recent update of Escape the Bathroom.
"Probably Desiccated Melting Pot: Site of the First Sacrifice." Pbone67 responds. Paul's map is updated with a blinking marker of this location, but when he tries to progress, Paul finds that he's been locked out of going any further until he registers an account, which marks the end of the free trial of the paid version of the game. Paul is upset by this, and Cledit suspects that another player might be scamming them, since he already paid for the full version. Cledit dons his Clarity Goggles, which immediately reveal that Pbone67's out-of-game name is "Gollard Quay", and then start attempting to find any information of greater importance. Paul reaches into his back pocket and pulls out two crisp bills of indeterminate value, since he figures buying the full version of the game will probably be cheaper than paying Nightstand and Freddy. However, Paul doing this seems to alert Nightstand that the money is being spent for something other than compensating for the lost customer, which prompts him to call up a detective who he finds in the phone book.
"Aye?" Wiggles McGee picks up his phone, and Nightstand begins talking.
"This guy won't give us the money he owed us, and we don't know where he ran off to but we need to find him and bring him back so that he can properly pay for what he needs to pay for." Nightstand explains.
"Yeah, his name is Paul. He'll pay your fee once you capture him." Nightstand hangs up after this note, and begins to patiently wait for results.