nordo returns to the mortal plane in a new vessel for his soul, becoming lordo, colossus of leather and steel. In the distance, Jonnnny obtains a new summon that he might never use.
"Oh fUck I left the oven on." exclaims lordo. lordo feels the pain of this loss and begins to regret everything he did; helping Billy, falling in the Sole Fountain, challenging the Canobie Rabbit, and every other poor decision he's made plagues lordo's mind like a million bees trapped in a minivan, and to top it all off, his home is burning to the ground and nobody is around to stop it. After having this crisis, lordo stops feeling sorry for himself, and goes to wreak havoc in the nearest city-state. lordo is approached by a diseased citizen of the city-state named Lung Cha'al, who has a rare non-contagious illness which has no effect other than making Lung Cha'al look nasty and exhibit many common traits of the diseased. lordo bestows the gift of un-life unto Lung Cha'al, who lets out one last disgusting hacking cough before disintegrating, his ashes blowing away towards the city of Costa Brava. lordo continues his path of destruction, but before he can get too far, he is stopped by a rather slippery and well-greased fellow, who he just can't seem to get a good grip on.
"You dare threaten this city-state? I will use all of my power to defend it!" declares Wudee Fordee, taking advantage of his natural slickness to avoid being hit by lordo's big meaty sword. A rustling can be heard from the nearby bushes, and Puncture Man jumps out and rushes towards Wudee with a spear. Wudee greases up the spear before it can puncture him and redirects it towards lordo, who gets a nasty scrape on his shin. Puncture Man attempts to grab the grease nozzle out of Wudee's hand, but Wudee positions it out of his reach and uses it to grease the floor beneath them. However, as Wudee is not immune to his own slippage, he falls flat on his back, which allows Puncture Man to successfully puncture him. The puncture causes all of the pressurized WD-40 inside of Wudee Fordee to explode outwards violently, coating the surroundings with the multi-use product. In addition, one of the wadley stones, specifically the W stone, is found inside of Wudee's body. Wudee also dropped one of his shoes, which for some reason enrages lordo, along with the fact that in order to get the L stone, he'll have to die again. lordo picks up the W stone and yeets his way out of the unnamed city-state, fueled simultaneously by a desire for revenge and a desire to bring together all six wadley stones. As lordo is searching for these stones, DayTony nearly runs him over with his car, which makes lordo's leg injury hurt really badly.
"Watch it loser!" snaps lordo.
"Ahm sorry man, yew shouldn hav sa in ta rohd." DayTony remarks.
"Do you even know with whom you are messing? I'll have you know I've died two times now, and yet here I stand!" lordo hisses angrily.
"Oh tha's good, tha means ah can't be sued." DayTony says, and lordo takes a big heave and drops his big sharp metal slicey sword-like metal thumb right onto DayTony's car. "MAH CAH!"
"What's your name, stranger?" lordo asks, ignoring DayTony's angered hand signals.
"Mah nam DayTony, an yew jus kil mah cah!" DayTony says, exasperated. After hearing this, lordo extra kills DayTony's car to ensure that he can't escape, since this individual could be key to obtaining the D stone. "Yew kil, mah cah!"
"That's the idea. Can you guess who's next after the car?" lordo teases.
"MAH CAH!" DayTony yells.
"Damn right it's you, now get over here so I don't have to go over there." lordo states, and DayTony begins seething with rage.
"YEW KIL CAH!" DayTony enters his car form and starts trying to intentionally run over lordo. lordo stands his ground, and due to his immense weight and solidity, DayTony's car form gets stuck, and is forced to reverse.
"Daytonie, you've vroomed your last broom! Time to get goblinerated!" lordo declares, only to be caught off guard as DayTony reverses directly into him and knocks him out of his sturdy stance. However, lordo manages to recover fast enough to embed his thumb into DayTony's hood, which stops him from falling to the ground as well as damaging DayTony's engine.
"MAH ME!" wails DayTony.
"Shhhh, it's okay this won't hurt." lordo says, before twisting his thumb around to maximize damage. This is enough to kill DayTony, but it also results in lordo's thumb being painfully broken to the point of no longer being there whatsoever. lordo considers this a fair trade for the D stone, though, and obtains the rock before heading to the hospital. After arriving at the hospital, lordo is greeted by someone who is easily recognizable as a hospital man.
"Hello, my name is E-Merge And See and I'll be you hospital man today." says the hospital man.
"My thumb gone." lordo states, gesturing towards the empty void where his thumb would normally be.
"Have thumb on you?" asks E-Merge.
"Thumb stuck in car."
"Replacement thumb, have?"
"No."
"4300 dollar."
"Let me get my insurance guy." lordo responds, before calling up his main man E value=8 to discuss financial matters. lordo realizes that he'll need to kill either his doctor or his insurance guy, which is a tough choice, since one will pay for a new killing utensil, while the other will be providing it.
"Have thumb?" E-Merge asks again.
"I got the money right here." lordo says, printing out whatever file E value=8 just sent him.
"This say insurance not cover this." E-Merge declares after looking at the document.
"Let me see." lordo snatches the document back and prepares to make any needed changes with a skerple, which E-Merge doesn't seem to notice. On the other hand, All-Seeing Ayaan and his many eyes do spot this deed, but he's not a snitch so he keeps his mouth shut. "Here you go officer." lordo hands over the altered document to E-Merge.
"Now this say you still need pay 10." says E-Merge.
"Right here sir, it's under the chair." lordo lies, and E-Merge starts looking underneath the chair while lordo tries to get E value=8 to provide the 10 dollars. E value=8 is unable to provide the necessary funds, so lordo is forced to attempt to pickpocket E-Merge, while Ayaan starts drawing a sketch of lordo for potential future use on his Kindle. E-Merge doesn't notice this, and lordo is able to successfully snatch the money out of E-Merge's pocket. "Money right here, thumb time." E-Merge turns around and takes the money, and a thumb grows out of the ground, which E-Merge takes and merges to lordo's hand. After getting his thumb, lordo slays the doctor in cold blood, but E-Merge's dead body immediately merges into the floor, and the E stone starts to merge as well. While lordo quickly goes to pick up the stone, Ayaan silently and delicately tapes a blank note to lordo's back, which he had been trying to get rid of but nobody would take it. lordo picks up the E stone, only to find that it merges with his own body, which causes him to become eordo, which is extremely inconveniencing and disappointing, as it means he has been set back one stone. All-Seeing Ayaan sees the name change take place and quickly adjusts the title of his drawing to match. eordo starts to leave the hospital, but detects the distinct scent of a possible wielder of the A stone nearby. Ayaan realizes it might not have been the best idea to hold on to his scratch-n-sniff Kindle, and quickly throws the device away. eordo tracks down the Kindle and immediately swallows it whole, but the scent remains, and eordo knows his target must be around here somewhere.