From the rubble of James' Godless Museum, a hand emerges, followed by another, and The God pulls himself out entirely, scratching his rear as he looks over a very lengthy grocery list and grunts groggily. He isn't sure where the nearest grocery store is, so he starts aimlessly lumbering around until he crosses paths with something awfully strange. It seems that Mildly Developed Vertebrate, with the help of Capital G, has evolved once more following the fire that burned down the Painforest, and is now Slightly More Advanced Vertebrate, or SMAV.
"Dictatorships am I right?" SMAV quips as it approaches the tired supposed-deity.
"Do you know the way to the nearest Kroger?" The God asks.
"Headed there myself, actually. You can just follow me." SMAV responds, before leading the way to the dreaded retailer. SMAV takes a very unconventional route, involving many obstacles and inconveniences, but The God follows nonetheless, slowly but surely arriving at the same destination as SMAV. SMAV enters Kroger in search of cereal and sour jelly beans, and The God begins going through his list one item at a time once he passes through the doors. Unbeknownst to the shoppers at Kroger, trouble is brewing outside, as the trio of ghastly homunculi have found their way to the store's parking lot. M'leech, still equipped with Korney's mask, is attempting to gain entry, but since Korney himself was banned from the store for stealing cartons of eggs, M'leech is being denied access to the store. M'leech had followed The God all the way to the store, with the intention of devouring The God and assimilating the power of his supposed godhood into itself. On the other side of the store, just out back, G'leech, having recovered from the explosion, is currently digging a hole with unknown motives, completely unaware of the other homunculi in the vicinity. B'leech, also unaware of the nearby presence of M'leech and G'leech, is lurking under a parked car, chewing on a piece of Korney's flesh it managed to salvage from the site of the fight with the other homunculi.
M'leech's attention is drawn away from The God as SMAV exits Kroger with his groceries, and begins guzzling down the cereal and sour jelly beans he bought. M'leech watches SMAV curiously, and as SMAV heads to the trash can to throw out the food containers once he's done eating, M'leech scurries after him. In doing this, M'leech misses The God exiting Kroger and entering a car that is probably not his. The God sits back in the car seat and starts chowing down on a borderline illegal and definitely immoral quantity of frozen broccoli florets. When M'leech loses interest in SMAV and runs back to the building, it is angered to find that The God is no longer inside, and begins looking around the area. M'leech sees The God in the car, but is unable to operate the door handles, and begins banging on the car angrily as it tries to find a way inside. M'leech jumps up on the windshield and prepares to break through it, but The God turns on the windshield wipers, smearing M'leech painfully across the glass before flinging it down onto the pavement, forcing M'leech to attempt to find a new course of action.
Meanwhile, deep in the Schmadow Bone, Creepo the Crep and Disbread have been trapped in an eternal standoff of sorts, with each of them trying to approach and pursue the other, but never being able to reach their opponent due to the effects of Draw Near and On Pursuit. However, their cycle is disrupted as a third figure crashes through the ceiling, and stands up, exuding dark energy around them in all directions, a twisted smile on their twisted face.
"What? Not gonna ask who I am?" The figure asks in a shrill, squeaky voice, looking at Disbread and Creepo as they run in circles. The figure reaches out a scrawny arm from its cloak of shadow and grabs Disbread with gnarled fingers, before unhinging its jaw and biting Disbread's face off, slaying the bready succubus. Creepo stops in his tracks, and eyes the figure, before beginning to approach them at the speed of approach.
"Fine! I'll ask for you! WHO am I?" The figure holds out its hand to mimic a mouth speaking to itself, before answering. "The TwOooOoOooOoOooOOOOOO!"
The Two raises her hands into the air as though praising the lord, and her enormous Stand, Two Days Grace, appears behind her. The Two brings her hands together into a praying position, and Two Days Grace holds forth one of its palms, casting a beam of holy cleansing light onto Creepo. As Creepo is enveloped in the light, Draw Near morphs into a smaller copy of Two Days Grace, and enters a bowing position, effectively disabling Creepo's Stand. With Draw Near deactivated, Creepo accidentally speeds up beyond the speed of approach, and does the unfathomable by actually reaching The Two. The Two throws her head back in a laugh, and spiny dark tendrils erupt from her shadowy body, before wrapping around Creepo, assimilating him into The Two's body. In doing this, The Two awakens the true power of her Stand, as Draw Near appears on Two Days Grace's formerly-headless neck, converting the Stand into Three Days Grace.
"THE TWoOOoOOooOOOoOoOoOOO!" The Two howls in delight, before melting into a puddle of shadow, which then seems to evaporate into nothingness.
"What do you mean you don't make eggs here?! Isn't this a restaurant?!" Starskate demands, having found himself in quite the aggravating situation.
"You fool! Don't you understand how this works? The number of folds in a chef's hat indicates how many ways they can prepare an egg. Now, look at my hat, why don't you?" Chef Wahoo points at his perfectly smooth chef hat, indicating that he doesn't prepare eggs at all.
"Shit and garbage." Starskate scoffs.
"Well, if you were looking for eggs, maybe you shouldn't have come to 'Anythin' but Eggs'!"
"That's not what this place was called on the map!"
"Oh yeah? Prove it!"
Starskate takes out a small piece of paper containing his map of Costa Brava and the surrounding areas and unfolds it until it covers the entire floor of the restaurant. Chef Wahoo steps out from behind the counter and uses a magnifying glass to zoom in on the location of the restaurant.
"See? Look, it says nothing about the lack of eggs." Starskate smirks. The restaurant is in fact completely unlabeled. Chef Wahoo takes out a can of silly string and uses it to draw a "no eggs" symbol onto the map.
"Now it does." Chef Wahoo asserts. Starskate flips a table in anger, before folding up his map and storming out the door. As it would turn out, he's far from the only one to make this mistake, because an unknown vandal has been tormenting this restaurant and it's rival restaurant, "Anythin', but Eggs" for several years by swapping the comma from one sign to the other. Chef Wahoo watches Starskate storm away through the parking lot, and then hears the distinct sound of an egg delivery truck approaching. Chef Wahoo growls and sneers, fetching his sniper rifle from under the cash register and using it to shoot out the tires of the truck, causing it to tip over and crash as it skids off the road. Chef Wahoo doesn't care if the truck was here to deliver eggs to the other restaurant, he just cares that less people have any reason to believe that his establishment sells eggs.
An unaligned vigilante by the name of SWAT POLICE hears the truck crash, and steps out of his car to investigate it. He's been monitoring the feud between Anythin' but Eggs and Anythin', but Eggs for quite some time, but has never taken any action because he, too, cannot tell the restaurants apart due to the dastardly comma vandal.
"Who could have done this…" SWAT POLICE murmurs to himself as he crouches down about five meters away from the crashed truck, looking for any incriminating evidence. SWAT POLICE finds one of the sniper rounds, and notices that it is distinctly not an egg, so he bags it for future use.
"Hold on, what's going on here?" Starskate walks over to SWAT POLICE, intrigued by the situation.
"Someone shot out the tires of this truck, causing it to crash. I have reason to believe it was the guy who doesn't sell eggs." SWAT POLICE explains.
"Oh yeah, that guy's a real jerk." Starskate nods. "You look like a cop, why don't you arrest him?"
"Oh no, I'm not authorized to uphold the law, I just like this uniform. I'd love to do something about this, but someone keeps switching the restaurants around, and I don't want to condemn an innocent man."
"Well, I'd say you should just get both places shut down. They're clearly nothing but trouble, and the fact that they made their names and locations so close in the first place to me indicates that they know exactly what they're doing."
"Okay, I'll go in there and interrogate whoever is running the place, and see if they can explain this shit-show." SWAT POLICE barges into one of the restaurants, and inside is somebody who looks exactly like Chef Wahoo, but his hat has a ludicrous amount of folds.
"Ah, greetings. Welcome to Anythin', but Eggs!" Chef Yahoo says as SWAT POLICE and Starskate walk in.
"Alright, I need a brief rundown of the history between this restaurant and the one across the lot, and make it snappy."
"I see. Well, we've been rivals since the very beginning, because it seems that we always end up getting the other restaurant's customers. If it weren't for the fact that it's hurting both of our businesses, I would be certain that the one responsible for messing with the signs was the guy running that other place."
"Okay. Well, the other guy just shot out the tires of a delivery truck and made it crash, which is really dangerous."
"Was the bullet an egg?"
"No, it wasn't."
"Then it was most definitely that fiend across the lot. Go and get him!"
"Hang on, you're at fault, too, here. Which one of you guys made your restaurant first?"
"It was me, of course! The other guy is a no-good copycat!"
"Really? It seems like Anythin' but Eggs is a much more sensible name than Anythin', but Eggs."
"No, no, that was the genius of it! Until HE ruined it!"
"Look, this guy clearly has a legitimate establishment going on, and the other guy is a jerk and a truck-shooter. Let's go and get him." Starskate interrupts. SWAT POLICE nods, and stomps across the lot, entering Anythin' but Eggs.
"You'd better not be here for eggs." Chef Wahoo says with a sneer.
"I'm here to get this place disestablished." SWAT POLICE says, holding up the bag with the sniper round in it.
"That could be anybody's! If it were an egg, we'd have an obvious culprit, but since it isn't, there's no reason it has to be mine in particular."
"How did you know I was even gonna say the bullet was yours, huh?" SWAT POLICE stares at Chef Wahoo, who stares blankly back. Chef Wahoo is unable to scramble for an answer, since if he knew how to scramble, he would know at least one way of preparing eggs, so he just remains completely silent.
"Ooooh, outed." Starskate snickers.
"Hmph. Looks like he knows his rights. I can't use anything against him if he doesn't say anything. Oh well, I'll just call some REAL police here." SWAT POLICE grabs his phone and dials up the Station. After explaining the situation, SWAT POLICE puts away his phone and looks back at Chef Wahoo, only to find that he's disappeared. SWAT POLICE runs into the kitchen to try and find him, but instead he finds Chef Yahoo tampering with the kitchen equipment.
"Hey, stop that!" SWAT POLICE demands, as Starskate scratches his head in confusion.
"Wait, isn't that the guy from the other restaurant? Where'd the no egg one go?" Starskate asks. SWAT POLICE rushes across the lot into the other restaurant, and inside he finds Chef Wahoo stealing from the cash register, being careful to not interact with any eggs.
"Hey, hey, STOP! The other guy is in your restaurant and you're in his, you can't do that!" SWAT POLICE yells at the chef, but gets no response. SWAT POLICE runs back outside, just in time for a police car to pull up to the scene with Weeb Woo and Word Woo inside.
"Alright, what's going on here?" Weeb Woo steps out of the vehicle and approaches SWAT POLICE.
"You know what, at this point, I think it's safe to say that the owners of both of these establishments are rascals and criminals, you should lock them both up." SWAT POLICE states.
"Do you have any evidence?"
"Yeah." SWAT POLICE hands Weeb Woo the bag with the sniper round in it. "One of them shot out the tires of that truck over there, and then they're both messing with property and stuff right now. They're no good."
"Gotcha." Within just a few minutes, Weeb Woo has both Chef Wahoo and Chef Yahoo tied up back to back like a couple of Scooby-Doo villains, which is a questionable but effective method of arresting them. As Weeb Woo drags the duo into the police car and drives off, Word Woo stays behind, furious at the prospect of a comma-moving vandal and wanting to make sure he catches them in the act, no matter how long he has to wait.
Starskate glances around at his surroundings to make sure nobody is watching him, and then crawls into the crashed truck and scoops up several handfuls of egg innards from the broken eggs inside, before skedaddling off to somewhere nice where he can cook them up. After eating the cooked eggs, though, Starskate finds himself sick with food poisoning, because one of the eggs was actually a fake egg that Chef Wahoo had snuck into the batch to try and taint Chef Yahoo's supply.
"Mmmm, my flavorite." Starskate says as the poison from the fake egg seeps into him, turning him into Toxiskate.
"Fuck this community and fuck the mods." Toxiskate declares, using his newfound ability to speak in raw toxicity. "Positive feelings are for chumps!"
Toxiskate stands up and looks at his map to track down some sensitive individuals. Toxiskate sets his sights on the small town of McFreakguin, which isn't too far from Costa Brava. Toxiskate readies his Clotgun and heads out to mess some losers up, since McFreakguin has a reputation for harboring weaklings and other lowly types.