Chapter 30

I do not own skip beat! Yoshiki Nakamura does.

A peek into their lifes-part 1-

He finished his email and closed his laptop.

Ren smiled, they would be happy to hear from him and to know that he had arrived on Scottish soil for the filming of his new role. He had re-established a semblance of contact with his parents for three years. It wasn't much but he couldn't take it anymore and it was the least he could do after all this time. Ren hoped that coming back would take him less time but he knew that in the end, it was without doubt for the better. Even now, he had no idea how to talk to them when he saw them face to face.

He always avoided calls. He missed his parents but he only allowed himself emails with them. At least, like that, he could talk about everything and nothing without having to tackle the annoying subjects. He was so afraid of disappointing them.

But at the same time, such joy crossed him from the simple emails they exchanged.

He hadn't planned to contact them before actually returning but time had passed, weeks, months and finally years. Loneliness had consumed him since she left. Much more than before I knew it. Before, he was not even aware of it, being alone had always been natural for him, now she haunted him. He took refuge inside only to silence the deafening noise from outside. But even when he enjoyed his only company, she was always there with a friend, nostalgia, pain. As if loneliness, her lifelong friend, had become a double-edged sword.

He had called her of course. Every two weeks at first but she was distant and wouldn't still talk about what happened. Then, three months into her acting stage, she got into an American agency. He knew it would happen, she had so much talent. He was proud of her but she started to be much busier and he was not outdone on his side.

Time passed and he ended up calling her only once a month. He felt that she wanted this distance and refrains from being too pushy. Because, during their conversations, she spoke less and less of her, always evoking more vaguely the roles and jobs that she got. Then the circumstances made them begin to miss certain calls. She called him back later, but the time periods without him getting any longer increased. And as she had stopped confiding in him, Ren had felt the fear of losing contact again taking hold of him.

Even on the phone, he noticed that she was changing. Her voice was slightly less acute, her way of speaking became different. Sometimes he felt like it was his kyoko he was talking to, and other times he felt like she was becoming a whole different person. She didn't let him in anymore, didn't leave any more openings on how she felt. Just talking on the phone made him waver this past year. He had barely heard him half a dozen times and was asked if he would lose the connection he had with her despite his best efforts. He'd even gotten angry when she denied keeping her distance. Begging with angriness to know the source of this avoidance.

Oh, how much had he dreamed of going to find her, to go to see her, if only once ...

He had bought several plane tickets, money wasted on each of his aborted attempts where he had turned around. It was not a question of desiring it with all his might, nothing would have prevented him from seeing her if it had been up to him. But the memory of a conversation in which he had tried to rush the subject came back to him each time. There had been such sadness in her voice. She had pleaded with him to understand. That she needed time on her own. And he had known.

Right then, right there that no matter how much it killed him, how much that gap between them undermined him, hanging on to her like he did hurt her. She was rebuilding herself, he had realized that. But the emptiness of her absence could not be erased. Her smile, her voice, her eyes, the exchanges they shared ... The slightest idea, the slightest memory of her remained with him at all times. Her words engraved in him followed him ... Her words, one of the only things that remained today ... The words that continued to push him, push him to move forward, to not to let go.

Today, he could no longer say that he knew who she was, what she had become ... And that was tearing him apart from the inside ... He could accept that they could not be more… but the idea of not even knowing her anymore ...

He had followed her advice though ... The words that had helped him so much.

He had tried his best to open up to others.

In tribute to Rick and her.

He couldn't really feel complete without her but he was doing his best to keep going.

He had obtained jobs all over the world, Italy, France, England and even in Russia, he was careful to scrupulously avoid the United States for now. But he knew it wouldn't last longer, soon he would have no choice but to go. For a bit more than three years he had become an international actor and well-known at that. He had focused on Europe or other part of the world but the time was coming. He had already started model for American brands again.

He closed the door behind him as he got out of the room.

Maybe he would cross her path…Maybe he would see her…Maybe…was unlikely. But Maybe was all that remained in his heart. Her words and a maybe.

His phone rang and he picked up to the thunderous annoying voice of kijima and the more subdued deeper one of Taku in the background groaning at the loudness.

He grinned inwardly and greeted them. The expression whitened by a pale sadness but a brave crooked smile screwed to his lips and a merry perfect tone in the voice. He was happy to hear them it's just that sometimes the heart was not there with them. He had taken the step of accepting other people nearby. But the more he let them approach, the more difficult it was for him to hide the emptiness in the depths of his being.

"Hi guys"

PS: So…I'm leaving you there, part two is coming. I'm writing it right this moment. To the ones wondering is Ren stayed stuck for all this time, you can already see it's not the case( Yeah, I'm talking about you Kaname671). I never planned to let him rot without him doing anything. I'm so glad I finally reached this moment of the story. So yup, because of Kyoko words, Ren's finally able to open himself to others a bit and made friends. There will be a few that you already know ( like Kijima) and are canon and a few that aren't. Well because Ren doesn't have many friends in the manga. I'm sure you already noticed for Kyoko in precedent chapter but she will have also a few new friends.( it's mostly the OC part mentioned in the resume of the story I warned from the beginning)

Don't worry I'm not forgetting Kanae but I have two problems, first point both girls and now women are very independent and though they can count on each other at important times the manga never gave me the feelings they were sharing everything, quite the contrary actually. And as Kyoko is herself the kind to share serious things with friends, that won't be a point that change even with OC new friends.

Second and I apologize in advance for Moko-san(Kanae) true fans, I'm happy Kyoko got a friend but I'm not always fond of her pushy kind of tsundere attitude. Not a big fan in short. I like her for standing for Kyoko at times and her beliefs but not really for her attitude. Of course, I will put scenes of them together but as it's a bit hard for me we won't see it maybe as much as in other fanfics and I'm sorry in advance is those scenes aren't satisfying in the slightest. Can't deny how I feel about it though.

Kisses.

Sorry for the short chapter. God, i really need to stop the long chats at the end...

Author out.