Phase 04: Intrusive Thoughts
The workday was almost ending for the employees in Orb's military facility. A lot of the staff were already packing up, some were already casually chatting on dinner plans or just some gossip.
"Hey Stacey! Almost going home? Guess what? I saw something very interesting a while ago!" One of the newly hired crewmen called out to her companion and they paused in one of the hallways of the massive Olofat headquarters.
"Yes, I'm about to sign off soon. What is it?" The other Orb officer, Stacey, stopped in her tracks, waiting for her friend to continue talking.
"I saw Representative Athha and Rear Admiral Zala were talking a while ago." She squealed in so much excitement like she was watching two celebrities interact.
"And? What about them talking?" Stacey seemed to be so uninterested. It was normal after all for Representative Athha to talk with personnel from the military, especially someone as high-ranking as Athrun Zala.
"They were whispering so close to each other! I don't know, somehow, they looked like they were a couple or something." The other girl continued talking enthusiastically, recollecting the scene from outside the conference room where the Representative had a meeting with several officials from Orb, EAF and COMPASS. "I don't know, there was just something about how Rear Admiral Zala was looking at Representative Athha… And they were really close!"
"Representative Athha and Rear Admiral Zala? A couple?" She reacted with so much disbelief. "That's impossible! Could it just be your imagination, Nina?"
"Eh? Why not?" Nina frowned at her friend's skepticism. "Both Cagalli-sama and Athrun-sama go way back in the first war! They were all heroes and fought together during the battle of Jachin Due! It's not unheard of that they would grow closer after that!"
"I don't think so? Even if that were comrades during Jachin Due, there's a lot that happened afterwards. They were doing different things after the first war. Representative Athha was in Orb, engaged to Yuna Roma Seiran, Meanwhile, Rear Admiral Zala was with ZAFT during that period and only joined Orb's military during the announcement of the Destiny Plan." Stacey retorted.
"The marriage with Yuna-sama was arranged when they were younger! And Cagalli-sama was kidnapped by the Freedom before they could be officially wed! I heard that the Freedom's pilot, Kira Yamato, is a very good friend of Rear Admiral Zala!" Nina countered with the rumors she's been hearing.
"I doubt that was the reason for Kira-sama to do that." Stacey shrugged. "The Seirans were corrupt and shady. They were the ones that pushed for the alliance with the Earth Forces after they burned our country in the first war and also cozied up with the Logos leaders. That's probably the reason Cagalli-sama was taken by the Freedom and the Archangel. They saved her from being dragged down by the Seirans."
"You're so annoying!" Nina pouted. They were close with each other, and these remarks are normal for the both of them. "You have an argument to everything that I say and I just really thought it was interesting seeing Cagalli-sama and Athrun-sama together."
"Well, it's also because I don't think a relationship between them is possible." Stacey said in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Why do you think so?" Nina probed, curious to why her friend said such a thing.
"Cagalli-sama is a natural and Athrun-sama is a coordinator. I don't think the public will like that very much…" Stacey commented.
"Huh? But that's pretty normal now. There are a lot of naturals and coordinators that are now in a relationship. It's not like it's still a taboo or prohibited these days." Nina insisted. It was true. Since Orb is a neutral nation and welcomes both naturals and coordinators, that kind of relationship was not unusual.
"Cagalli-sama is different, she's our Head Representative. While Athrun-sama is now a high-ranking officer, he's also the son of Patrick Zala… I don't think people can easily overlook that and they will be against a relationship like theirs. Theirs would be more complicated than the others..." Stacey mused, having really thought out her response to Nina.
"No way… But that's not Athrun-sama's fault… If anything, he went against his father's orders and stopped GENESIS from firing towards Earth… Nor was he at fault for the actions of any extremists still holding his father's beliefs…" Nina's voice trailed off, feeling a bit disappointed.
"Not that I'm against their relationship if they had one, but if you were to ask me, I am a fan of Cagalli-sama getting together with Prince Fredrik of Scandinavia!" Stacey's tone changed into a more cheerful one.
"Prince Fredrik?" Nina blinked.
"Yup!" She nodded excitedly. "I like how he professed his interest in Cagalli-sama in the media. It's like he's publicly declaring that he wants to court her! If I were Cagalli-sama, I would have fallen for him. I feel like they're a perfect match and straight out of a romantic story book. The Prince of Scandinavia courting the Princess of Orb!" She had a more enthusiastic tone now as compared to just a few moments ago.
"Ah so that's how it is, you're rooting for Fredrik-sama…" Nina clasped her hands.
"Athrun-sama is handsome and he's also a catch but Fredrik-sama…[1]" Stacey's voice trailed off and her eyes were even sparkling like a girl in a beautiful daydream. "He's really like a prince charming from fairy tales! Blonde hair, blue eyes, gentle, kind, smart, the aura of a prince… He has it all!"
"You're ri-" Nina was about to say something more but was interrupted by a loud voice.
"Hey Nina, Stacey! What are you two doing gossiping in the hallway? We're waiting on those documents you know!" It was Miriallia with her hands on her waist, looking a bit peeved. They were expecting to receive some papers to progress with the meeting, but since Nina wasn't arriving, Miriallia had to step out and look for her.
"Ah! I'm sorry Miriallia-san! I will head there now! Please excuse me!" Nina snapped out of it and rushed to the conference room. Stacey bowed first before running off in another direction before she scolded even further.
"Geez, those two." Miriallia shook her head in disbelief. They were all rushing to finish preparations for the joint operation in a few days so to see them casually gossiping when their shifts weren't even over and there were urgent tasks needed from them made her raise her voice a bit.
Miriallia then turned to her left where Athrun was leaning by the wall, with his arms crossed. He kept himself hidden from them as they talked. "You heard everything?"
Athrun nodded and sighed heavily. "Pretty much, yeah." He stepped out a bit to go to the bathroom and overheard everything when he was about to head back. It would be awkward if he were to suddenly pop out when the two girls were deep in conversation about him.
"Don't let it get to you." Miriallia comforted him when she saw his dejected face. He looked like he got punched in the gut, hard. "They were just carelessly gossiping. They didn't intend to be malicious or anything."
"Yeah… Don't worry, it doesn't bother me..." He was saying that, but his face is full on frowning. He could be quite insecure about their relationship since they were keeping it a secret and everyone who's anyone has their eyes on Cagalli's hand in marriage.
Miriallia wasn't convinced but there was no point in trying to push it further. If Athrun wasn't going to say anymore, then it was probably best to leave it at that. "Let's go back?" She motioned; they still have items that they need to finalize before going off for the day.
"Yes, let's go." They walked back towards the direction of the meeting room.
"Good work everyone. Thank you for staying for a bit more today." Athrun expressed his gratitude for everyone in the room. It was already past their usual time to be going home. They had just finished a big chunk of the prep work for the joint operation, and he was quite pleased that everything was going as planned.
"Thank you, Rear Admiral Zala." Everyone started to exit the room after a hard day's work. He waved Miriallia goodbye when she also excused herself.
He looked at the time and it was already past eight-thirty. Cagalli would have been wrapping up the dinner with Murrue and Mwu. Even if he left now, they would have gone home by then.
He went inside his temporary office and booted his laptop. Since he was stationed in Morgonroete, he doesn't have any permanent workplace here, so they set up a temporary office for him while he was here. He decided he would quickly answer some urgent messages before heading out.
He reviewed Kira's email which they discussed last night. He requested the OS for the rest of the staff to be calibrated to the conditions of the island and based on the pilots' current stats. Kira was able to make the necessary changes immediately and send it over to him. As expected of his best friend, he was in a class of his own when it comes to programming operating systems.
As Athrun continued with his work, the conversation between the two girls from earlier replayed in his head.
Representative Athha and Rear Admiral Zala? A couple? That's impossible!
Cagalli-sama is a natural and Athrun-sama is a coordinator.
While Athrun-sama is now a high-ranking officer, he's also the son of Patrick Zala… I don't think people can easily overlook that…
Miriallia told him to not let it bother him, but the truth of the matter was, he was very bothered by it. The words of the crewman, Stacey, hit him like a truck and it made him incredibly gloomy.
Cagalli, despite being a politician, has gained the support of the masses. They treat her like more like a celebrity now. From fighting in the Jachin Due with only three ships, to volunteering to lead Orb after the first war, to saving Orb from being burned down by ZAFT and protecting them from getting hit by the Foundation. They treated her like their hero and goddess. All that she's done for them, she received love back a thousandfold from the citizens.
She was always a trending topic on mainstream media and online. It would mostly be about the policies and reforms that she's done to improve the country. But other times, it would be simple things, like her interests, what she wore and sometimes her personal life. The public was keen to know everything about their beloved Cagalli-sama. They were protective of her too!
Athrun was very happy that she was getting the love and appreciation from Orb citizens, but sometimes it was a bit much. They would want to know more of her personal life than what she would allow. That also extended to the level of scrutiny that they have for anyone vying to become her partner.
After the incident with Djibril came out, the masses were angry with the Seirans. They felt that they manipulated their beloved Cagalli-sama, who was young and just lost her father, into the marriage to weasel their way to the leadership position. They also felt like it was the Seirans that didn't value Orbs ideals as it signed an alliance with the Earth Forces, the ones who inflicted so much damage and suffering to them during the first war.
When that happened, he saw the outcry of the citizens unfold. As Cagalli captured the hearts of the masses, they treated her like their own daughter, sister or friend. They were utterly disgusted that anyone would treat their beloved representative like that.
Which is why, anyone that was linked to her was scrutinized immensely.
Celebrities? They have such a scandalous lifestyle!
Military officials? Rumor has it that some men cheat when they are away from their wives. Infidelity towards Cagalli-sama is unacceptable!
Orb nobles? None of them are good enough for Cagalli-sama!
There was a time where an Orb noble, Waid Rabby Nadaga [2, publicly declared his love for her. But all he received in return was backlash. He was criticized for being too flashy but that he was all talk. They dug up his background and they weren't satisfied with his less than stellar performance in the military and got some equipment stolen from him.
Mostly, the citizens thought he was also using her to gain more fame and power, as he hailed from one of the lower-class noble families. It was like the story of the rise of power of the Seirans!
Athrun personally hated this man's guts. Waid was shameless and bold in pursuing Cagalli. He did not care what anyone thought. He spoke multiple times in public that he was serious in pursuing her. In one function they both attended, he was acting very familiar with her and even made her slightly uncomfortable. He had no concept of personal space and grabbed her hands too many times. There was a point in time when he knelt on one knee to profess his undying love for her and wanted her to be his wife.
Athrun was in Morgenroete when that all unfolded, but if he was there in the same function, he would deck him then and there.
Cagalli rejected him thoroughly which Athrun was relieved about. But the public? They were angry. They said it was so tacky for Waid to pull such a stunt to pressure Cagalli-sama into saying yes. It showed how he had little regard for her feelings to put her in such a situation. That was doing it for fame and to get more influence. They hated him with a passion.
Even with Athrun's distaste towards him, he had to admit he felt sorry for all the criticisms and insults that he received. It got to a point that Waid's father had to speak out and apologize for all the ruckus his idiot son has caused. Waid now stays on the downlow.
This just goes to show that Orb's citizens expressed their dissatisfaction at anyone who tried their hand for her marriage. At this point, the only candidates they accepted were the Freedom's pilot and the Prince of Scandinavia.
But the Freedom's pilot was Kira! Her brother! But the public didn't know that! They did appreciate that he took Cagalli away from a miserable life with the evil Seirans.
Since the Freedom's pilot moved to join COMPASS and it was known that he was in a relationship with Lacus Clyne, the public's favor went to the Prince of Scandinavia, Fredrik Nikolai Arik Haward.
Athrun had to admit, when you hear about Prince Fredrik, he was indeed the ideal man. So ideal that he would be someone that could stand next to Cagalli. He was handsome, well-educated, a charismatic person that the Scandinavian people adored and most of all he shared the same ideals as her. Their country was always the first one to support Orb's views on very important matters, not to mention they were the ones that allowed the Archangel to take refuge and hide in their territory in the second war.
He admired the Prince of Scandinavia for a lot of his good traits. At first, he was a bit wary and insecure of him as he was someone that the Orb citizens rooted for when it came to being Cagalli's partner. But he was at the stage now that he was a bit more confident that she would not be whisked away from him. Unlike before when he was writhing in jealousy when Yuna riled him up on purpose.
It also helped now that he and Cagalli now communicated more openly. If before he would just stay quiet and simmer with rage, now he told her how he felt. That way, she could provide him more reassurance.
At the end of the day, it was his ring that Cagalli was in possession of. It's not on her finger right now, but at least she wears it on her person as a necklace. Knowing that he had her affection makes him feel more secure.
But that and the public's judgment on their relationship was a different matter. He knew that she loved Orb and prioritized it over him… What if there came a time when the situation would become too difficult that they were forced to part ways…?
No, he won't accept that. Not now, not ever!
Would the people not really accept him? He wasn't the Prince of Scandinavia, but he'd like to believe that he also had some redeeming traits about him…
Would he always be weighed down by the sins of his father? He knows that his father's transgressions against naturals were too great, but he wasn't like his father, and he was doing all that he can to atone for it. He was working so hard to help Cagalli maintain peace.
He was doing the best to support her and be a man worthy to be by her side and share her burdens.
Wasn't that enough?
Wasn't he enough?
Athrun sighed in defeat and closed his laptop. He was finished with all the remaining work and now he badly wanted to see her.
Athrun arrived at the Athha mansion almost at 10 o'clock. Work took longer than expected thanks to his musings, but he hoped that Cagalli was still awake.
He walked through the hallways of the mansion with his first stop, her office. Often, she would still be by her home office after a long day of work, still looking through documents or preparing for the next day.
When he entered, he was surprised to see that she was not there. So, she did go retire to bed early tonight. He sighed heavily. It was a pity that he couldn't talk to her tonight… He badly wanted to. Tomorrow would be another busy day, they might not even see each other in the morning.
He debated between going to her room or letting it go and ultimately decided to retreat to his. He wouldn't want to disturb her if she was already sleeping. If she wasn't asleep yet, she would try to stay awake longer just to spend some time with him, which he appreciated.
He opened his room to find that Cagalli was inside, in her sleepwear. She was sitting on top of his bed, her back rested against the headboard and on her lap was her computer. The moment she saw him, she smiled excitedly and closed the laptop, placing it gently on the bedside table.
"Welcome home, Athrun!" She greeted him a big grin when he entered.
"Cagalli…" He was a bit stunned but collected himself and smiled back. "I'm home…" They rarely get to spend time together in a physical sense so him saying that to her made his heart warm and fuzzy. Going home to her, it was as if all the worries outside this little world didn't matter for now.
"Good work today." She cheered him on, knowing how hectic things were for him in the past two or three weeks.
He walked towards the bed and sat down next to where she was. "You're here… What about Mana-san…?" He asked worriedly. Cagalli going to another man's room so late at night… Mana would have given her an earful about how it was unbecoming of a lady such as her.
"I snuck out of my room after I said I was going to bed." She stuck out her tongue playfully, that made Athrun afraid of the consequences in the morning. Kisaka always told him that as a child, Cagalli did whatever she pleased despite the scolding and punishments she got from her father. She climbed trees, ran away from her tutors, played rough with her friends… She was handful, even until now.
"Hey… she'll also chew me out tomorrow…" He reminded her that she wasn't the only one that Mana would give a lengthy sermon to once she found out. She would nag him that he should also act as the voice of reason for Cagalli too.
"I'll just wake up tomorrow earlier so I can sneak back in before she even notices." She shrugged and wasn't the least bit concerned at all. "That's fine, right?"
"I suppose so." He didn't have the energy to argue even further and if he was being honest, he wanted her here with him too. He then allowed himself to lean on her, his head buried on her shoulders and his arms wrapping around her waist. He inhaled his scent and closed his eyes to relax. She smelled really nice. Her hair and skin always had that citrusy floral fragrance from the products she used and Athrun couldn't get enough of it.
"You must be tired." She returned the hug and patted his back, her way of telling him that she appreciated all the work he was putting in. She then petted his hair as he held her.
"Very much…" He grumbled at the thought of what was to come in the next few days. "There's still so many things needed to be done…" He held her even tighter, trying to recharge his fill of her as much as he can. He knew she was the last person he should be complaining to with the amount of workload that she had to deal with, but he couldn't help it…
"Don't think about it for now…" She rubbed his back to soothe him. "Just relax for the rest of the night, okay?"
He liked that he got to be coddled like this by her. While he was determined to always be her pillar of support, shouldering some of her burdens and worries, there are some days that he just wanted to be on the receiving end. Even just for a little bit, he too wanted to be doted on and spoiled by Cagalli. In these very brief instances, he allowed himself to be a bit more selfish and needy of her attention. He would show this side of him only with her.
They stayed like that for a little while, with Athrun's eyes closed and his breathing calm. She started to lightly poke him.
"What?" He mumbled, not moving from his current position. He was so content snuggling up to her.
"You should freshen up a bit and change from your work clothes. You might fall asleep like this…" She warned him, sensing his exhaustion.
"Hmm, maybe later…" He lazily replied. He really didn't want to move if he didn't need to. It didn't seem like she was uncomfortable with their current position either.
"Hey, don't put it off…" She playfully poked him again. "Athrun... hey…"
"Do I stink?" Athrun asked her in a whiny voice, trying to feign hurt from her words. "Is that why you want me to get off of you?"
"N-no!" She stammered, shocked at his question. "That wasn't what I meant! It's just that, you'd be cozier and more relaxed after a shower."
"Just a bit more… If I go now, when I get back, you might already be asleep. I want to spend more time with you…" He moaned, hugging her even tighter, not wanting this moment to end.
"I won't fall asleep!" She swore up and down to convince him. It did happen a lot that she dozed off while waiting for him finishing showering. "I promise, I won't fall asleep!"
He lifted his head up and raised his eyebrow, doubting her ability to stay up if he left her alone. "You promise?"
"I already said I promise didn't I!" She pouted, mildly offended that he didn't have faith in her. "I was well-rested from last night and I also got to nap in the car before having dinner with Murrue-san and Mu-san. I am fine!"
"Okay then…" He lifted himself from her and kissed her forehead before he stood up. "I'll be back soon."
Athrun blazed through showering, brushing his teeth and then changing into a shirt and boxers. After drying his hair, he hung his damp towel on the rack and exited the bathroom. True to her word, she was still awake when he finished his business.
"See, I told you!" She grinned as he slipped behind the covers and inched closer to where she lay down and held her.
"Thank you." He smiled at her and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. He was happy they had more time to talk. "How was the dinner with Mwu-san and Murrue-san?"
"It went well. We really didn't talk so much about work and the upcoming operation. In fact, we caught up on things happening in our personal lives. I was really surprised with what they shared with me!" She exclaimed.
"Oh? What is it?" He asked, now curious to know what it is.
"You see, Murrue-san is expecting!" She excitedly told him. "She is apparently in her first trimester."
"That's great to hear!" Athrun made a mental note to congratulate them both when they see each other tomorrow.
"Right?" Cagalli nodded, clearly happy for the milestone of her close comrades.
"So, Jenny will be a big sister now." Jenny was Mwu and Murrue's 4-year-old daughter. The natural couple got married right after the Foundation incident and had their daughter a year after. Athrun has seen her a few times and while she looked a lot like Murrue, she was mischievous like her father.
"She will! Mwu-san was so excited to make another nursery room for their new baby. They were just waiting for the gender. I've already promised to send them a few baby items as gifts." Cagalli laughed as she recalled the fun dinner conversation that they had.
She continued to tell him about the topics they discussed during dinner and he listened to her intently. Jenny was going to school now and Cagalli was cooing about how cute she looked in the photo that Murrue showed her.
Mwu and Murrue decided to live in the capital of Orb when they got married. With the peaceful days becoming a more commonplace, COMPASS had more luxury of time and flexibility. Murrue could afford to work from home while she looked after their daughter. Mwu was often sent to missions or stationed somewhere for a brief time but got to spend time with his family frequently.
That's nice… Hearing about their comrades were moving onto the next phases of their lives made Athrun a bit envious. Not in the sense that he wanted to have kids now, but that they could finally prioritize their own happiness after all the things that they've suffered through and worked for. Before they were all dragged into the embers of war, but now they were all free to choose their own paths.
Looking at Cagalli, laying down next to her and excitedly chatting about her day, he wondered when things could finally be like this all the time. Going home to her or waiting for her to get home, getting to spend most nights like this, waking up to the sight of her, finally getting married and possibility having a family…
That would be nice…He mused to himself.
Then he remembered the conversation of the two Orb military officers from this afternoon, which made him a bit sour.
"Athrun…?" She probably noticed that his mind was somewhere else.
"Oh, sorry!" He snapped out of his thoughts. They were having such a nice time tonight. Did he really want to dampen the mood by telling her what he heard that day? "Were you saying something? I spaced out bit…"
Did he want to tell her what happened? That he knew that their relationship and future marriage would be frowned upon? If he told her, and then what? A part of him dreaded her response. He made his feelings known that he wanted to stay with her and that he loved her. But if the Orb citizens were involved… he wasn't too confident about his place in her heart when weighed against the people that Cagalli love so much.
They were already in a committed relationship but the next steps… making their relationship known to the public, marriage, having children… They never broached those topics yet. Athrun had always been comfortable with the status quo, communicating every day, getting to be with her physically every few weeks, getting to spend quality time with her. It wasn't the most ideal, but he was satisfied with things for now. Thinking about it taking it to the next level scared him because he himself didn't know how they would get to that state and when. It wasn't as easy…
"I was just asking if we can have breakfast before we both leave for work." She smiled understandingly, thinking it was only because he was already exhausted and not because he had something weighing on his mind. "So, don't leave before having breakfast okay!"
He nodded, not wanting to miss it. "Of course I will."
She then cuddled to him and sighed heavily. "Tomorrow is another long day. Are you tired?"
"A little bit..." He told her, sensing that she was already preparing to sleep. He tried to stifle a yawn and called out to her. "Cagalli…" His tone hinting that he wanted to kiss her before they finally called it a day.
She already knew what he was asking and leaned over to kiss him. Athrun expected that it would be a quick peck and then she'll snuggle up to him, but she didn't stop there. Instead, she deepened it and straddled on top of him. He did not expect this coming, but he welcomed it.
She pulled away and looked at him provocatively, her fingers tracing his lips. "Hey Athrun… Are we really going to sleep so soon?" She asked with him in an innocent voice, but he knew her intentions weren't. He was now more aware of her soft breasts resting on his chest. When she shifted her position, she made sure it grazed his crotch, which earned a groan out of him.
It's as if his exhaustion flew out the window. If she was tempting him like this, then he'd give her what she wanted. He would be idiotic to pass on an opportunity like this since they barely get to spend time with each other as it is. He wanted her so bad in this sense too, but he always held back for her.
"We're not sleeping anytime soon… Are you fine with that?" Athrun's body was heating up and his eyes were full of desire as he gently caressed her cheek.
She nodded with certainty and kissed the palm of his hand that was on her cheek. When she leaned back to claim his lips, it was more heated, and she was moving her body to rub him hard.
Athrun chose to drown in this pleasurable sensation tonight and decided against telling her about the incident this afternoon for now. His hands on her bottom cheeks, squeezing it lightly as he lifted his groin area to apply more friction to where Cagalli was making circular motions on, which earned a sharp gasp from her.
"A-Athrun…" Cagalli purred out his name in between their kisses, she started it, but it seemed like Athrun was quickly taking control of the situation once again. She could only let herself go along with his rhythm.
"I'm right here." He assured her, looking intimately at her, as he continued to rub her.
Tonight, he wouldn't think about anything else, just heat of their bodies melding together and how he would make Cagalli mewl out his name repeatedly as he made love to her.
Notes:
[1] I don't know if I ever mentioned this in the previous chapters, but my vision for the Prince of Scandinavia is that he looks a bit like the blonde Howl Jenkins Pendragon. HAHAH
[2] Waid Rabby Nadaga – For those that haven't read the manga, he's a character from Gundam SEED Astray and it is canon that he does have feelings for Cagalli and wants to replace Yuna as the husband-to-be. It is also canon that Cagalli's IWSP pack was stolen by Sven.