"Great," muttered MK. "Bet I won't hate this."
She stood at one end of the centerline in the indoor court while Lauren stood opposite on the other side. The bleachers on both sides were filled up with Mercutio, Tracy, the Grads and the nine other Dropouts. Two dodgeballs laid on the centerline, one near the left and one to the right of the very center.
Mercutio tapped a microphone. Unfortunately for everyone else, as he spoke into it, his voice was far more amplified than he was expecting. The sound made the sound system in the court screech.
"WELCOME, EVERYONE, TO THE FIRST EVER ELIMINATION ROUND!"
The sound had contestants jamming their hands to their ears. Zee let out a scream that was muffled by Mercutio's voice, then the likely stoner collapsed backward, falling off the bleachers. The Russian host pressed a button at the side of the mic, fixing the issue.
"Ah, isn't that better? Students, sometimes in this competition, there will be surprise elimination rounds. In an elimination round, the contestants either in the bottom two, or perhaps that received any votes whatsoever, must compete in a miniature challenge. The difference between these challenges? To lose in an elimination round is to be eliminated from the competition. Therefore, tonight, we're going to watch a quick round of dodgeball between Lauren and MK. Whichever one is struck with one of the two balls first will be eliminated."
Confessional - Matcha
"Thanks to this revelation, now the risk of elimination from receiving any votes whatsoever has just risen exponentially. I don't like the randomness of Mercutio's system. I wondered how different he really was from Chris McLean, but I guess this might be the start of those differences."
End of confessional
MK eyed Lauren and the absolute insanity that constantly surrounded her. "All right, circus freak," she muttered under her breath. "Just you and me."
"Wait!" Lauren chirped. "Mercutio, I'd like to volunteer someone else besides MK to face me!"
"Oh, good," MK murmured, taking steps towards her team's bleachers. She let any veneer of competitive spirit drift into nothingness.
"Hold it," Mercutio halted her. "Lauren, moy milyy, sumasshedshiy drug, that isn't really the way elimination rounds work."
"But MK offers no challenge, no drama! I could tear her spirit from her being inside of ten seconds!"
"That's metal," Zee murmured from where he was now lying on the floor of the court, staring up at the ceiling.
Lauren pointed to one individual in particular. "I challenge Izzy to face me!"
Izzy formed a sinister grin. "So, you do, do you? Yoodle doodle do you do do you do you you you do you you?"
"No way," Bowie shot the idea down instantly. "We're not risking our teammate just to settle whatever it is these two have. We won."
"Yeah, homie, we won," Fish added.
"Yeah!" Londyn perked up and shouted once Fish did.
"Hey, personally," MK mentioned with a smile, "if you were to ask this klepto her opinion, I'd say there's nothing wrong with it. Spice things up a little, right?"
"Easy for you to say when it means you aren't on the line anymore," Noah countered.
"Uhm... I think I like the idea, too," Athena peeped.
"Mercutio!" Jayshawn yelled. "Why does it matter what these Dropouts think? Of course they goin' be biased, they don't wanna lose any teammates!"
"Enough!" Mercutio snapped. "You're teenagers; you're all biased! You're all selfish! Why is this being news to you people?"
"Actually, Mercut," murmured Tracy, "they're, uh, not all teenagers this season."
His palms to his face, Mercutio grumbled, "Tracy, just shut up. Now then, here's my verdict: I'm going to allow it. Izzy, come replace MK."
"Oh, you're kidding!" Bowie complained.
Izzy eagerly leaped down from the bleachers, rushing to take MK's spot at one end of the court.
"I kid not, Bowie. All right. Izzy. Lauren. Are you both ready?"
"Are sharks and I attracted to blood?" Lauren peeped back jokingly.
"I will rid this plane of your sacrilegious existence," Izzy guaranteed.
"You are nothing but a dust mite to me. I will eradicate you from the face of the globe."
"I am gonna rewrite your place in the history books."
"I will undo your entire genetic makeup."
"I'll make your bones into maracas, then dance the dance of the Tiki tribe."
"I will bathe in your blood."
"I'll use your saliva as conditioner," Izzy shot back.
"Jesus H, just get started already!" Mercutio ordered.
Izzy cracked her knuckles while Lauren cracked her neck. The cameras showed us multiple creative, dynamic shots, upping the cinematography of the pair's last showdown. Soon enough, both girls raced for a ball. The cast's eyes went wide at the intensity of the moment. The girls shot the balls at each other in sync, while each was able to duck right in time.
Ignoring the centerline completely, Lauren grabbed Izzy by one of her legs and flung her, giggling away as she swung her around like a cat playing with a mouse. She bashed the redhead into the floorboards, then proceeded to toss her into a wall. Closeby laid a ball, so Izzy reached for it while Lauren grabbed the other. Izzy tossed the ball, but it bounced off her opponent's. Izzy kicked the ball out of her hands, sending it flying into the air.
As it soared, the girls traded blows, fighting hand to hand and coursing electricity through the court from their battle. The ball came back down, with Izzy grabbing it. Before she could hit Lauren with it, the circus doll tossed herself into Izzy, bowling them to the ground with Izzy dropping the ball.
"Was this what you had in mind?" Tracy asked his host, neither of them able to look away from the brawl.
"Not at all, tovarisch," Mercutio replied with a smile. "But this is some truly incredible television."
Izzy bit down onto Lauren's leg stocking, causing her to squeal with pain. A frightening frown on her face, she growled, "Now you pay!"
The two's tussling and fighting grew to an intensity not unlike cartoonish bouts of combat with arms and legs sticking out of a ball of utter brawling. Up atop her, Lauren tugged the roots of Izzy's hair while Izzy curled around to yank at the side of Lauren's mouth. Izzy kicked her off, sliding aside and grabbing a ball that she swiftly tossed at Lauren. Surprising everyone, Lauren did a spinning jump and kick combination, evading the ball hitting her and catching it at the same time. Despite winning with this move, Lauren did another midair spin towards Izzy, kicking her upside the head and dropping her, smashing her cranium down against the court floor. She landed gracefully on her feet, grinning away as she tilted her head to face Mercutio.
"I'm finished!" Lauren chirped.
"Wow. Izzy is eliminated!"
Confessional - Bowie
"How could Mercutio allow her to do that-to just call Izzy to the floor like that? It shouldn't be allowed-we worked blood, sweat, tits, and tears to win the challenge today. It should have been that shady girl MK or Scary Girl that went home. The last time I saw bologna of this magnitude, I was eyeing down a mesmerizing sammy."
Confessional - Lauren
Startlingly, the camera feed cut and warbled, Lauren appearing in multiple different spots within the shot, ending with her face in the corner of the camera, far too close for comfort. The audio cut out, static-y and distorted.
"Bye bye... Izzy."
End of confessionals
Following her defeat, Izzy got to her feet and let out a moan, feeling her head where a new bump had formed from Lauren's kick.
"Hey, no hard feelings," Lauren peeped, approaching her. "Friends?"
Izzy watched her through distrusting, slitted eyes. "Okay!" Then her demeanor changed completely, and the two girls hugged before Tracy appeared to escort Izzy away.
"All that only for them to leave on good terms?" Fish growled.
"Don't you love a happy ending, bro?" Zee replied, not a care in the world.
"Zee, dude, you can get up off the floor now," Cody informed him.
"Did you know that there's mildew growing on the rafters up there?" He pointed to the ceiling. "Or, could that be algae? Mother Nature's coming for you, academy."
"Well, this has been Total Drama Million Dollar Academy," Mercutio announced to the center camera. "Join us next time to see what kind of freak we can get rid of next! Goodnight, everybody!"
Even later into the evening, Izzy rode in the Bus of Shame, all alone with the designated bus driver watching the empty road ahead of them.
"You know, I'm only getting paid minimum for this," the driver spoke up in a gruff, scratchy voice. He cleared his throat, but it did nothing to quell his issue. "People tend not to think of bus drivers in the same light as other heroes, you know, like firefighters or cops, but we do just as much good for this country."
Without the clueless bus driver realizing, Izzy was unlatching one of the school bus windows with her teeth, then once it was open, she started crawling through it like some kind of spider.
"Canada just wouldn't be what it is without its bus drivers. I tell you, eh, who's gonna be there when Wonder Woman needs a ride? You know? Superman can fly, Batman has his BatMobile, but what the hell is Wonder Woman supposed to do? Walk? We are heroes in the same way that shoes are heroes, really. They are. They get you where-"
Crawling out onto the side of the school bus like Spider-Man, Izzy missed the rest of whatever the bus driver was lamenting about. She proceeded to hop down off the bus, taking off running full sprint down the road back in the direction of the Million Dollar Academy, running off into a gust of fog.
- Episode 5: History In Motion -
Jayshawn once more started the episode recap, bouncing up into frame like Chris McLean's debut in Total Drama Island's pilot.
"Ay, y'all, what the fuck it do, welcome back! Last time on Total Drama Mih-ih-ih-ih-ih-llion Dollah Academy, lots of shit went down, lemme just tell ya. A rivalry between Izzy and Scary Girl started to heat up, which ended off in a dope-ass conclusion, but we goin' get into that, we gettin' there. Uh, right- we was forced to play dodgeball for fuckin' hours. Shit was pretty tight, I'm not even gonna lie," he said, then started to laugh. "Yeah. We needed five consecutive wins to win the challenge, and after hour- shit, four or five, maybe? Nah, bruh, it had to be eight or nine.
"Anyways, my team pulled off a win. The votes on the other team came down to Scary Girl and that Asian chick with the beanie, but then Mercutio announced that they was doin' an elimination round. Scary Girl challenged Izzy in the other girl's place, and Mercutio allowed that shit for some reason. So, bunk as fuck that Scary Girl won and we lost a teammate when we were the winners of the goddamn dodgeball game. Whatever, dawg. That cookie goin' keep crumblin', and you better not go anywhere, 'cause this cookie got, uh, another piece comin' off soon, right here on Total... Drama... Million Dollar Academy!"
Offscreen, Fish started to snicker.
"What? What the fuck you gotta say about it?"
"Bro, homeboy- 'this cookie got, uh, another piece comin' off soon'- bro, you suck."
"Ay! Fuck you, Fish! All right? How about you try and do it better?"
"Whoa, roid rage, much? I'm joking, homie, relax. I'm just kidding."
Jayshawn grumbled under his breath, glaring at his teammate.
Fish gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Ease up, nigga."
Jayshawn reached for him, with Fish barely wriggling out of his grapple in time and taking off running.
"Aight, that's the last straw, mothafucka," he growled, bolting after him.
Confessional - Londyn
"Ugh, as weird as Izzy was, having her around at least meant that I wasn't the only girl on the team! Now, that's gonna make me seem even hotter to the other guys. Literally not ready for this level of attention."
End of confessional
Walking by the academy's gift shop that Bowie and Jayshawn had discovered in the first episode, Londyn walked past Zee, then she let out a distressed sigh as he smiled and waved to her, his eyes glazed as usual.
"Hey, Londyn, you got-"
"Fine! Get it over with. Stare at my tats, ogle at my titties, look at my ass, yadda fucking yadda, get it all out of your system."
As she stormed past him, Zee turned around and murmured, "Wait, Londyn, you got a little, like, some lint in your hair." Watching her leave without the slightest bit of immodesty, Zee shrugged and headed off, cracking open a soda from one of his pant legs. "Nah, it's cool, she rocks it."
He strolled down the hall in the other direction of Londyn, then passed by Matcha on his way.
"Hey, tea leaf girl!"
She chuckled. "Hi, soda guy."
He cracked up. "Hahaha, I get it!" He kept chuckling to himself as he continued on, then Matcha reached into her pocket, feeling around for something that was missing.
"Oh, don't tell me- this academy's way too big for losing my phone..."
Confessional - Caleb
"Last night, Athena and I voted together for the first time. We would have eliminated Scary Girl if it weren't for, you know, what ended up happening. Still a little pressed about that, but it's no worries; my alliance with Athena sure seems sound. I'm really fond of her."
End of confessional
"Hi, Jilly bean!" Athena peeped.
On the outdoor court, Jill stopped dribbling a ball for a moment to watch Athena prance towards her.
"Hi, Athena."
"Can I call you that? 'Jilly bean'?" She giggled. "I think it's cute. Hey, who did you vote for last night?"
"Me? I voted for Lauren."
"Oh, Scary Girl? Me and Caleb voted for her, too! It's a shame we didn't get rid of her, but better luck next time I suppose!"
"How are things with you and Caleb?"
Athena nodded. "They're good, yeah. He's very handsome. It's been really cool that he wants to talk to me. Back home, I don't get a lot of attention from boys. They're always talking about how weird I am. Guess I'm just nothing but a freak to them..."
"You are the furthest thing from a freak."
"You really think so? I don't know, Jill. I get so happy, so excited to be competing on reality TV, then I slip back into my negative thoughts. What if I really am just annoying? What if I'm worthless, like my grade two teacher told me I was?"
Jill set the basketball down to step closer towards her. "Stop it. Really. This isn't healthy. You've got to learn to see yourself in a better light. Be grateful for the things about you that are good without question."
"What- what kind of things would those be?"
"Well, you're stylish. You wear a pretty dress, your hair looks nice every time I see you, you have a pretty face. Not to mention you're a sweetheart, and the bad things you think about yourself are only real in your mind."
"You're..." Tears welling up, Athena whimpered, "No one ever says things so nice about me. Thank you."
"Of cour-"
Athena wrapped her arms around her, tightly hugging her, holding her for dear life. "Our friendship means so much to me," she said in a weepy voice.
"You know I'm here for you, Athena."
The orange-haired girl released her, then surprised Jill by holding her palm against her cheek, stroking her thumb across her skin.
"You mean so much to me."
Unsure what to say, Jill let it happen, then Athena leaned in and kissed her passionately. The passion was ultimately one-sided, as Jill wriggled away from her lips.
"Athena, what are you doing?"
"I- I'm sorry. Was I-"
"I just-" Jill was speechless for a moment. "Wow, I wasn't... I wasn't expecting that."
Now, tears dripped down Athena's cheeks, and she burned red. "I'm- I'm so sorry. I thought I- I don't know why I thought- I'm sorry."
"I don't- Athena, I just don't like you that way. I don't like any girl that way. Hey, wait."
"Don't even look at me," she whimpered, turning to rush away, her dress and hair whipping in a breeze.
"Athena, wait. Come on."
Crying, the girl raced off, then Jill happened to notice Iko standing by the court in her peripherals, the same level of surprise in his eyes as Jill felt herself.
"You saw all of that, I assume?"
"I didn't realize you were into girls," Iko murmured, failing to hide the defeated tone in his voice.
"I'm not. She just... I shouldn't really get into it."
"Hey, it's none of my business. But... you aren't a lesbian?"
"No. Do I give off those vibes? Do I seem gay to you?"
"Uh, complete and utter bull-dyke alert, yeah," he joked.
She chuckled a bit. "What's up?"
"I was kidding by the way. You're straight. Definitely straight."
"I-I got that, Iko, thanks."
"So..." He paced around somewhat awkwardly. "Really wasn't expecting to come over here and see you kissing a girl, I don't know where to take this interaction from here."
"You wanna shoot a few hoops with me?" she offered.
"I am notoriously bad at sports, I don't know if you truly want this."
She picked up the ball and started dribbling it again, a smile on her face. "You weren't so bad at dodgeball."
Iko feigned a proud stance, puffing out his chest. "Yeah, I was a solid 3/10 in effectiveness."
"Well, okay, if you're so bad at sports, would you like to change that?"
"You must have some confidence in yourself if you think you could teach me anything to do with balls. Giggity."
"Pfft. I've coached tons of people. I could coach you."
"A stumpy Asian guy who gives out after a quarter mile run, that's a great candidate."
"You should believe in yourself."
"I do, just in other areas. I'm a producer."
Jill's eyebrows raised. "Oh, are you? That's interesting. How long have you been doing that?"
"Six years this summer. I worked eighty hours a week for two months to buy my soundboard. I've been through most of the typical DAWs-you know, Ableton, FL, Logic Pro, even stuff like GarageBand. Stuck it out with FL and now I'm a mixing and mastering connoisseur of sorts."
Smiling at him, she nodded and replied, "Right, I know what any of that is."
Iko held out his hands for her ball. "Tell you what, I play some basketball with you, and then we can make a song together."
Jill handed it over. "Deal."
"Nah, it was a dumb idea any- wait, seriously?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Oh. Oh, fuck, hell yeah. Okay. All right, show me what you got."
Meanwhile, sitting in the grass outside the dorms, Cody watched as Damien raced around, screaming as Lauren chased him with a fork. Noah appeared shortly after.
"That doesn't belong in that orifice!" Damien wailed.
"Hey, Cody."
"Noah."
The bookworm came to stand beside where Cody sat. "Sure doesn't feel right that Lauren's still here."
"No, not really."
"I wanted to ask you something," Noah requested.
"Yeah? Ask away."
"I've noticed some... weirdness, shall we say, between you and Mercutio. Care to unpack that?"
The fright in Cody's eyes gave way to how little he'd anticipated this question. "Uhm, well, I can't really say for sure what you're talking about."
"No? Then why do you flinch when he addresses you? You act like an elephant around mice, to say the least."
"Why don't we talk about something else? Like..." Cody perked up and shot a finger gun. "Londyn. That chick is out of this world hot. Did you see her in her Nike pro shorts yesterday? Goddamn. For a few split moments, I actually forgot about Gwen. Sure didn't last long, but-"
"Cody. Forgive me if I'd rather talk about the Russian Chris McLean replacement that introduced us all to a real life hitman on our first day than the airhead with face tattoos."
"Pfft. You're probably just gay, Noah, that's why you never wanna talk about girls."
"You're not gonna weasel out of this."
Cody finally gave in, clearly uncomfortable as he peered around to see if he was being watched. "What if he can hear us right now?"
"So, you are afraid of him."
"If you'd seen what I saw, you would be too."
Curiosity piqued, Noah took a seat beside him. "Well?"
He sighed. "I saw him and Stephen talking. I don't think I was supposed to see it. I figured maybe it was a DJ and Chef sort of situation? I tried to blackmail him, you know, give myself an advantage. It..."
"Didn't pan out, huh?"
Cody lowered his voice. "It was worse than just 'not panning out', Noah, the guy tried to strangle me!"
Noah chuckled, only for his smile to fade as Cody's face remained just as frightened. "Mercutio actually tried to strangle you?"
"Yeah. He, like, pinned me against a locker. I don't know what the hell I walked into, but whatever it was, it sure seemed like something he wanted to keep me away from."
"Well, that confirms it. Something must be being kept under wraps, but whatever it is... we should figure it out."
"Noah, look."
Cody pointed out the distant sight of Stephen leaned up against the back wall of the massive academy building. He was sitting, slouched, his hair in his face, but he was positioned to face them.
"Maybe we should talk to him," Noah suggested.
"I don't know if we should."
"Why not?"
"Noah, dude, I don't think I was supposed to see whatever I saw. I doubt, you know, poking the bear is gonna bring us anything beneficial."
"Or maybe Stephen will cooperate. There's only one way to find out. Come on."
"I have to come with?" Cody whined.
"Let's go."
Begrudgingly, Cody followed his fellow scrawny friend over across the grass and campus sidewalks over to where Stephen leaned, wallowing like usual.
"Hey, Stephen," Noah greeted him, but there was no response. "Listen, I don't need to be here any longer than either of us want, I just wanna ask you a few questions about you and Mercutio. Will you cooperate?"
"Fuck off."
Noah flashed Cody a look of "of course he said that". "Stephen."
"Fuck off."
"Let's just go, he doesn't wanna talk," Cody urged.
"Stephen, be reasonable. We're your teammates. There's gotta be trust among teammates, right? On the topic, I recall that you didn't record a confessional when Mercutio prompted all of us; seems you don't even trust the Total Drama audience."
"Goddammit, just leave it be."
"So, there's an 'it'?" Noah assumed.
"I said 'me'," Stephen grumbled.
"Gonna have to protest that one."
"Just fucking leave. Leave me the fuck alone."
"You know, your chances of winning this contest get smaller every passing day with an attitude like that. If you need me to tell you that, then I know you're in trouble."
Confessional - Cody
With his face pressed against the table and his hands on his head, Cody murmured, "That just gave me all kinds of bad feelings."
Confessional - Noah
"I've encountered oak trees with less shadiness than Stephen."
Dropouts: Caleb, Damien, MK, Scary Girl, Athena, Holden, Iko, Jill, Kobe, Matcha, Queen
Grads: Cody, Noah, Bowie, Zee, Fish, Jayshawn, Londyn, Stephen
Some quick OC descriptions:
Athena: orangey-blonde, orange contacts, black and white dress
Holden: long, scraggly hair, heavyset, short, leather jacket
Iko: slim-fat, short, stylish overcoat and vest
Jill: athletic build, red hair, tan skin, emerald green eyes
Kobe: tall, big afro
Matcha: brunette, business casual
Queen: purple hair
Fish: typical influencer look
Jayshawn: fit, muscular, dreads, gym tank/shorts
Londyn: brunette, face tattoos, gorgeous features
Stephen: early 2000s emo look
Mercutio: chiseled face, suit, wide-framed
Tracy: slim, suspenders/bowler hat
Brook: silver hair, oversized cardigan